Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with your mind your body your choice
So today I want to speak to you about
Confrontation
You know when you don't agree with something or somebody when one group doesn't agree with another group and maybe it's a hostile
disagreement or
Angry words you you have to be bold sometimes when confronting things, but you also have to know
What's worth confronting and what's worth walking away from every situation?
Does not need to be confronted
if you are a skilled person at
At confrontation and you have a great variety of words and approaches you can take good for you
But some of us
When we confront things we always confront it angrily. We don't confront things at a
stance of
Alright, this is gonna be more of a I'm expressing myself. I'm letting you know what you did
I didn't like or what you said I didn't care for I'm confronting this issue, but I'm doing it in a way I
Can leave
Happy knowing I did it and you can leave
Knowing that I let you know what happened and you had the ability to apologize to make it right, right?
That's come confrontation
Confrontation sometimes can turn into
Condemnation
So condemnation is when you want to
Banish something you want to condemn it you want to just think of a condemned building
You get a big sticker on that building some tape from the
Department of Health saying this building has been condemned
You are not allowed here and what do they do they abolish it they knock it down
They build a road and they put up a mall, right?
my mother I grew up in a trailer park I told you guys and I
Remember it's been over a decade now, but I was in that area
my mother had moved and
So where she moved to I thought you know what I'm gonna go check out where we used to live and
as soon as I got to the street the
The entire area was gone and when I say entire area the entire area we used to call it the hill and
we lived at the very bottom of the hill and
It was probably a mile a mile and a half two miles to the top of the hill
I used to walk that hill every single day and
At the top of the hill there was a store and one of my friends Beverly lived at the top of the hill
And I used to do babysitting at the top of the hill, but anyway
That entire area had been condemned. I don't know when it happened, but everybody who lived there had to move
Thank goodness my mom had already moved, but before she moved they condemned the area she lived in so
Condemnation or condemning something means to get rid of it to say I don't want it to exist anymore
I want it gone, but to confront something
should mean I
Don't like this. You know, we've got a change course. Let's confront this situation
It's situational and let's see what we can do to make it better or
I'm letting you know
How I feel about this. I'm confronting this situation and I'm gonna walk away afterwards, but I gotta tell you
once again
Do not confront
Everybody with the situation there are people in power
You know, there are a lot of things that the president does that people don't like you don't see people
Sending him angry letter or maybe they do but that can be taken out of text sometimes and next thing you know
You have the FBI or the CIA or somebody knocking on your door
Some people just aren't worth the time if you know somebody who is extremely
Confrontational that's all they do their confrontation all the time and they wrong you it might not be worth it
To go talk to them and in confront that situation
There is a difference know when to confront situations
Know when to condemn situations and know when to keep your mouth shut and keep it moving keep your pimp game on keep it
Keep it pimping
Give you another great example. I
Was talking to somebody today about a conversation Paula and I had one time about this young lady
who
really
acted like she was my friend and I trusted her and
Everything I was doing with my business. She stole all my ideas all of them and
she
Started her own thing doing everything I was doing and we totally stopped. I mean when I say we stopped talking we stopped talking and
so I
Used to think men if I see her again, I'm gonna lay these paws on her
I'm gonna slap her left right left right drag her up and down the street
Tell people don't trust her but as I grew up I
Thought you know if I ever see her I'm gonna ask her
kind of person can you be to
Speak so highly of God and act like such a Christian, but this is what you do to people
That's the confrontation at first I wanted to condemn her I wanted everybody to know what kind of person she was so nobody screwed with her anymore
Then I wanted to confront her
But in the place I am now
She's not worth either so I know to walk away from it all together
No need to confront something. You know somebody's either gonna lie or make excuses for and
No need to condemn somebody who did something wrong because we all make mistakes every single day
I've wronged people and apologized and they forgave me people wrong me and I forgave them people wrong me
And I didn't forgive them. I've wronged somebody before and I probably wasn't forgiven. I don't know
I
Just know when to use the power you have
Who's worth your time?
Who's not worth your time?
Situational what situations are worth confronting?
Which ones are worth condemning which ones walk are worth walking away from I'm gonna give you one more example
So of course, you know, I was raised military
So I'm extremely used to diversity. I'm not used to any area of all
One race I've never lived around it. I've never seen it. I've never been a part of it and
With that when you have friends of different races, you don't use
hurting words to
What are they called vulgar words or
Despairing words to describe somebody's race or nationality sexuality whatever it is. You don't do that
You love people for who they are
Well, my friends had my friends. Excuse me. My kids had a friend who used to come over all the time. It was a boy and
They were jumping on the trampoline in the backyard and the boy
Called
Another boy the boy he's Caucasian is a white boy. He called this other boy African American a black boy the n-word
And he pushed him off the trampoline
The boy got hurt
so of course I had to take the boy and
Talk to his parents the black boy. Let him know what happened, you know, because I'm liable
that's my yard my trampoline it didn't have the cover around it and
I was liable so of course they they knew me they were like it's okay
But the other boy the boy who pushed him and used the n-word I had to go let him know
You can't use those kind of words at this house and wherever you learned it you keep it there
But you're not welcome back here again until I see your mom
Let her know that
So I let the boy know how I felt but I talked to him because he was a kid
I don't chastise somebody else's kid. I took care of the the other boy by taking him home and explaining to the parent
Well a couple days later the boys back in my house. I haven't seen his mom. Nothing's going on. So I go outside and I said hey
Bubba
Didn't I tell you you couldn't come back over here until I seen your mom?
Yeah, I
Said okay get off my trampoline
Get out of my yard
Said it just like that. Then I walked down the street to his house
Knocked on the door told his mother to come outside. I'm in that there, but I knew
To confront the situation she of course swore she didn't know where he got that word. They don't use that word
She's got black friends blah blah blah blah blah. I
Let her know that kind of language is not welcome at my house around my house around my kids
I don't even use that word nobody in my house uses that word and I needed her to understand the importance of
The community and the love we all share with each other
Me allowing her son to come over and play and and have snacks and you know
I had pool table and all that to play
None of the violence or the harsh words or anything were allowed there
But I had to confront that situation
Because if I had not I guarantee you another child would have been hurt or kids would have hated to see him coming
but confronted it
Opened his mother's eyes to what was going on if she didn't know and maybe the language she used around her child
It was worth it
That first situation I gave you was not worth my time. It was not worth me confronting
This is not a friend of mine. This is somebody who had an agenda. They got what they wanted and they're out of my life
The second situation because it dealt with kids
Especially I needed to confront it you guys use common sense when
confronting
and use
God sense when condemning. All right, it's your girl Sonia. I hope I made sense today
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