Good morning, good afternoon and good evening everybody.
It's your girl, Sonya McQueen with your mind, your body, your choice.
And as promised, I have a great treat for you.
It is the great De'Aris.
He is here for the second part of his podcast.
If you heard the first part, excellent.
Go listen again.
If you didn't, you have to go listen to that one before you listen to it.
This one because this is a continuation.
So De'Aris.
Yes, ma'am.
How are you?
I'm doing just fine.
You know, been waiting to do part two with you.
I had such a good time with the first one.
So thank you.
You've been waiting.
If you remember, I logged on a whole week early.
I was like, I can't do nothing tonight.
I got to do my second part.
Told my husband to go away, get all logged on.
And you're like, yeah, it's an excellent.
That's real excitement right there, De'Aris.
So do you remember where we left off with the first podcast?
I think we were at the part of my recovery where I just got to rehab in Atlanta, Georgia.
So go ahead.
If you don't mind and share with me and the listeners what rehab was like for you.
This is a very young man.
You were 26, correct?
Correct.
Okay.
Yep.
I was 26 years.
Okay.
A very young man having to go through such a traumatic experience,
but tell us what the rehab was like for you.
Oh man, it was a, it was, it was life changing.
But it was, it was something that I look back at now and, and realized, you know, was a major part in me being able to accept what happened.
And, and really know about spider cord injuries.
And, you know, and all.
So, um, and, and what, it was, it was, what was so great about it was they actually taught you about, you know, the injury more than just not being able to walk.
They went over the pressure source, how to upload the pressure.
You know, dysreflexia, the symptoms, if you don't know what this reflex is, it's like, um, where your head will start paling in and your, your muscles will start spasming.
And it's become something wrong.
It could be something as simple as a, a hang nail and your toes are, it could be your catheter being pinched and not being able to drain correctly.
And so just, just being informed of stuff like that, you know, was, it was the tools that I needed to succeed.
And, um, wow, when, when you talk about, you know, rehab there in Atlanta, it's funny now that me and my family talk about it because, you know, you would get a certain amount of time, a lot of, you know, for, for working out and rehabbing,
but I was so messed up, you know, I had my chest open, I had a ventilator, and then, you know, I've been in the hospital bed for going on about four or five months now.
So my muscles are, my arm muscles were really weak.
By the time we got uploaded and waiting for somebody to come with a bit and tap me all the way down to rehab, which I was supposed to have an hour to rehab, I only had 15 minutes left.
It was very difficult at first, just being able to even, you know, work my muscles are even start the rehab process until, you know, those other things I handled like plastic surgery, you know, getting my chest closed up and then, you know, rebuilding those muscles back.
But I got a shout out to the Shepherd Center, I was part of the Korean real rehabilitation center. They were absolutely key to my success steps.
You said something, Dearies, that I could promise you.
Almost, if not all, most of the listeners would not have said, you said, what was so great about it. When you first started talking about your rehab, you said what was so great about it and that just speaks in magnitudes about your personality and your, the ability you have to accept what is,
because I know I probably would have said, what was so bad about it or it was just horrible or how sad I was or how, how depressed but you started off with what was so great about it.
And it leads me to ask you, from the very moment you realized what happened and you looked over at your mother like you said last time, and she came over to you and told you what happened.
Did you ever feel like, I don't know, because it's like you missed that whole moment of sadness that most of us probably still would be feeling today. You just have this great acceptance and continual love for life.
So, how long was the period when you were like,
So, so, so you got to you got to, you got to kind of put in perspective. I got shot in July, and I didn't go to rehab till about October, November.
So, I had, you know, that three to four months, you know, to grade, but don't get me wrong. But I was in Atlanta, I still had, you know, a lot of anger and depression and sadness, just because of how great my life had been so far.
And I just couldn't, you know, believe, you know, what had happened to me. So don't get me wrong.
I definitely, you know, had my rough and sad days.
Just now that I'm in a happy part of my life now, when I look back at it, you know, I just find, you know, the positive. And I do, I do want to say, I really do have an abnormal,
you know, sunny disposition on life.
That's, that's just always, you know, I've been really optimistic, you know, on the glass half full type of person.
I think it's absolutely beautiful because we choose to wallow in our self pity and we remove self sometimes and then we blame everybody around us for everything we're going through when we have the ability sometimes to turn our rain into sunshine or dirt and
to grass, you know, to make our trees beautiful, we have that ability, but we choose to be angry sometimes and upset. And sometimes some people have the right, people would say you had the right to be but you also realize being gosh child you also had the right to be happy,
and to go the route, you know, well, I can't go down this street anymore, because of this, but now I can choose to go another route. And that's what you've done and I'm just so, I mean, I'm so in there by you, it's just amazing, the words you choose to use when you speak about yourself,
it's just so positive and refreshing.
I really have a great support group of my, my family.
They've always been behind me and, and been there for me through this whole situation, and my friends from being here. I went to college in Atlanta. So I had a lot of buddies that came there to the rehab center in Atlanta.
You know, just, I always had a really good support system. And then, you know, my kids, which really gave me the motivation, you know, to, to, you know, keep going and look at this differently.
So I really have a lot to be happy about, you know, there's a, there's a lot of people I saw there, a lot of young people that will never get the chance, you know, to have kids. And, and so I look at them and I saw avoiding them.
And that really, you know, made me realize how much I had to be thankful for.
And that is just amazingly beautiful. The words you choose once again are there, there's such strong words of acceptance and strength that some of us should be ashamed of the way we think about our lives.
I mean, I found positivity in my life, but I didn't find it as fast as you did. And I didn't go through anything close to what you did. However, you know, had I been around somebody so positive and such a forward thinker as you are,
maybe, you know, it would have been a little different, but I think my life is going the way God intended it to. And believe it or not, I think yours is too. You're such a strong beacon for so many people. You're like a pillar.
So, thank you for that.
Now I want to ask, you're welcome. I want to ask you about the amount. How long were you in the hospital from from being shot until they actually let you leave and go home.
So, the beginning of February.
20, 20, 20, 14. So from July to February.
So from July to February, almost the year, a few months short of the year. So you spent Christmas in the hospital. You spend Thanksgiving in the hospital.
My 27th birthday in the hospital. So, so I'll give you a quick little story. I know we don't have a bunch of time.
People in wheelchairs, you know, have to offset their weight. Or if not, they get pressure source.
And right before Thanksgiving, I wasn't offset my, my weight good enough, and I got a red spot for Thanksgiving.
And my auntie lives in Atlanta and they had already planned this big Thanksgiving dinner and the separate center and ready permission to go to their house.
Well, two days before Thanksgiving, I got a red spot on my bottom.
And they, they were going to allow me to go. And the last day, it had, you know, disappeared. So they granted me permission, but it was the day before Thanksgiving.
And I think it's snowed in Atlanta. And they wise been Atlanta. Atlanta is not good with snow at all.
They don't get it that often. And they don't have snow trucks. And so a lot of people are just like stuck at home.
We found a lady who was off.
And I had a wheelchair service band and she came on her day off and took me to my, my family's house. And I got given with them. I tell you, in the world of line, it really did for me.
And, you know, that was, that was that that had made my, you know, my, my time there, meaningful.
And so that was Thanksgiving and my birthday. It's a couple of days after Thanksgiving, my mom, my friends and family, without me up there.
And now, you know, we got to do the cake and, and the whole, you know, thing there for my birthday. And then Chris came, you know, and that's when we were missing family back here in Kansas.
But, you know, I was still thankful to be able to survive another year or so.
Hey, man, you know, I do believe that there are angels among us and it sounds like you've met more than, you know, my share of them.
So praise the lady who with the van took you to Atlanta so you could be with your family on Thanksgiving.
And that was, that was wonderful. It really was.
Oh, what a blessing. And then you finally, you finally got to go home in February, February.
Yep. Yep. So, um, so, you know, when I said that, you know, I really didn't have time to rehab. Well, I think, I think in November, I got plastic surgery on my chest to close my chest up.
So after that, you know, I really started rehabbing. But the last month or so, they put us in outpatient.
And it was, it wasn't the nurses. It was me and my mom. So my mom was a, my sole caregiver and they, they didn't just push us out.
They kind of taught us how, you know, to survive on our own.
And we were really, really, uh, nervous and scared at first. Just because I was on a train, not on the bed.
And a lot of things could have went wrong. And I got to give my mom kudos for being strong and pushing through it.
And I know she, she was really nervous, but they, they prepared us really well, not to survive on her own.
Yeah, you gave your mom a lot of love last time. And I, I understand. I told you that's a mom's love. The things we would give up, including ourselves for our kids is amazing, but to actually have to live through something.
And it's, it's me being a mom because, you know, I have kids, but me being a mom, I am assuming that if my child went through something so traumatic, it would be like me going through it as well.
Yeah.
There's nothing like a mother's love.
Amen.
I believe that because I am one. I have one. So no, nothing other than a grandma's love. So I'll say that.
Okay, so then you and your mom came back in. You said you were both really nervous, which I can imagine. Were you speaking yet? Were you able to communicate with your mom?
No, I didn't speak. I didn't think so.
For the next six and a half years.
So how was she able to meet your needs?
So, um, she, she learned how to, to livery really well.
I did, you know, some sounds, you know, with my mouth and my tongue, you know, to get people's attention. And then, you know, I could, you know, at least tell them what I needed by outing it.
And I did have an iPad. So if they didn't really get it sometimes, then I could just write it out on my, my touch iPad.
But, um, yeah, so that, that was, you know, how we really communicated. I know it was really scary because, you know, when, when you're, I talked about this in part one about the secretions when you're on a bit, you can't cop them up.
Yes. And so at nighttime was the, the most scariest time because not be in my own bedroom. And I'd have to, you know, give my mom's attention by, you know, smacking my lips together.
And we had baby monitors. And that's how you would know that I needed help with you. Come in and suck some.
So, I just to get the listeners imaginations, you know, their prophetic imagination. I can close my eyes when you speak and I try to picture things myself.
I know you're a quadriplegic. How do you use your iPad?
So there's different functions. I quadriplegia and quadriplegia.
Yes, some people have arm functions. Some people have torso functions.
I can move my arms, but I can't move my fingers. So the shepherd sitter hooked me up with some adaptive equipment.
It's a stylus that wraps around my, my hand and it just has like a, you know, a stylus ball in the end of it, and my iPad's touch. And so I use it almost like you would your fingers are pinned, you know, on my iPad.
Okay, I can picture that. I can picture that. All right, because I have the stylus for my iPad. I had to buy the pins to go with it so I could write on it.
Funny, funny story. I always have this thing on my hand. And before, when I got the trek out, I started holding my neck.
So in order to speak, I'd have to put my hand up to that hole, you know, to close it. So when I talk to air would get through all the way.
And then I'd have my stylus on the end of my head. So a lot of people said, is that your microphone?
So that's pretty funny. So I know it's for styles.
Okay, you have such a light personality. I remember you saying, and I don't remember if it was just during our conversation or if it was on the podcast, but you were telling me about a noise you used to make and now you guys joke about it.
Yes.
It's just amazing. The okay, so just so I was about to say just in case it wasn't on the last podcast. Tell me, say what that is again.
So there's there's two noises. The first one is if I really get your attention. It's almost just like, you know, kissing someone.
So, you know, that one get their attention and then you can also do your, your tongue clicking noise with your tongue like.
So I mean, those are those what I need to get your attention, you know, that's how I would do it. So I couldn't talk.
Wow. Yeah, I remember you saying that you guys kind of make light of that now.
But you imagine being sleep and hearing that noise and knowing that your son needs suction and you wake up and you go in there just by that noise, you know, that was my mom.
And that's why you amazed me so because you say it's funny now but I don't know if as a mom, it would ever be funny to me. No, that's how you know my child needed me to get up and come and check on them but wow you're just amazing.
I think this is going to sound like a crazy question, but it was posed to me and looking at an email somebody sent me and I'm just going to some eyes this my own way.
I'm not going to read it but what they're basically asking is you were living such a happy great life before you were shot and now you're living this life with all these purposes and things you're trying to do.
Do you think that part of your plan was to go this route to be able to help other people in the long run other other I think you said quadriplegia earlier or other children that might not be able to walk or or get around the same.
Do you think this is part of your purpose having to go through this.
Most definitely, you know, I, I look back at it and I really do think, you know, that that happened for a reason, and not to help other people to help myself.
Just because of, you know, the life I was living in and, you know, slowing down and being able to be more part of my kids life and and that so it definitely helped me as a person, but in doing so, I have all these grand ideas, you know, how to help others because I feel, you know,
they're paying, I know what they're going through. And I just want people to know that, you know, there is life, you know, after you know, accidents.
So, yes, most definitely.
There is life after I love that I, you know, I was telling you earlier before I started the podcast that I don't really promote my podcast I put them on Facebook and that's it.
I feel like the people who need to hear them always hear them but with yours.
I did a little bit more and I posted it a couple of times but your podcast was listened to more than 100 times in less than 48 hours.
None of my podcasts I've done 100, almost 140. None of them have had that kind of traffic which means people really are interested in what you have to say in your story so this might not be the last podcast.
This definitely might not be the last podcast. Now, the areas I wanted to do this. If you don't mind, if you mind, we won't talk about it, but I wanted to do this before your upcoming surgery.
You want to tell us about the surgery you're about to have.
So, yeah, I have a colostomy bag and I've been having some complications and so I gotta have another surgery, a gastro surgery. It's not coming Monday.
It shouldn't be too bad. I do have more scar tissue than others so I could complicate things a little bit more but if I could get everyone's prayers and positive thoughts, I would really appreciate it.
I'm looking forward to doing it.
Absolutely. So everybody, if we could all get together and just
notate now that on Monday we're all going to be sending up prayers for Diaries because I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in it. I've seen it work.
We'll just all get together, put it on your calendars, put it in your phones, do whatever you have to do, but Monday, let's all collectively send up some love and support for our Diaries.
Absolutely. Absolutely. So, if you could, this was a question that also came and I sent it to you in a text, but if you could get your prayers right now fulfilled and I hope this makes sense because I put it just the way it was asked.
What do your prayers look like?
You know, if I could get my prayers fulfilled, it would be something you already touched base on and that would be to help other people in my condition.
But that being, that the equipment that I can make for them or if it's coaching or speaking inspirational to someone or in any way to lighten our fulfilled a load of someone, that's what I would see my prayers being.
So, it's my mission right now is to help others that are in my position.
And so that would be so that I would definitely want.
So, you all heard that if everybody who's listening to this podcast, share it, share it on your page, Facebook, share it on your, what is that thing called Twitter, I don't know if you can share it on Twitter, share it on whatever avenue you have.
Let's get the areas out there so that he can get sponsorship. I think you would be excellent at being a motivational list for others. You are so motivating to us.
And it's just a beautiful, I promise you, you're like a breath of fresh air just just floating in. And the way you look at things so positively, let me tell you something, I was saying, maybe a month ago, that there was something that I felt somebody did to me.
And I was angry for years and I used to say, when I catch it. It's on site when I catch it.
When I catch it. When I catch it. And then one day, I just realized, I'm carrying all this anger. Well, first off, I spoke to her and I told her I forgave her, and she had no idea I was ever even mad.
And we carry anger sometimes for absolutely no reason when we have the ability to make or break our own day and we like to put that off on other people.
It's a mental prison.
Absolutely. And then you feel crazy when you realize you were mad alone. Number one, number two, you're mad about something that you're blaming somebody else for when all along, you had a decision to go left or right.
And because you chose to go right with that person, you're blaming them for your downfall.
You had all rights to be upset. You were an innocent person and you still chose to forgive right away. You chose to find peace and joy in the situation.
And now all you want to do is bless other people. And that takes a very strong, a very strong individual to think like that and to move like that. And I applaud you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Your mom did a hell of a job and I hope to meet her one day.
I actually had somebody reach out to me wanting to do a podcast after they heard yours as a caregiver.
Oh, I think that would be wonderful. You don't know, right?
My mother, my mom, and my dad and my sisters, you know, they really deserve the award, not me, because I tell you what they put up with me, first of all, but you know, they've sacrificed a lot in their lives.
And a lot of them it goes unnoticed. So I, that they'll hands down a caregiver and my eyes are the true heroes.
Amen. They, I'll agree with that. They are the true heroes, but having a personality like yours makes it even more rewarding.
I'm going to give you a real quick example. Like I, I have given up my salary, everything I do to help the hurting in the needy.
So I spent a lot of money buying food and supplies and stuff for the homeless. And I go out and I give it now. There are some people.
There's this guy I videotaped. He lives in his car and his name's Cyrus. And I asked Cyrus, what do you need? What do you want?
He tried to tell me the cheapest things he could think of. He said some bread, some cheese and below me.
Bring me that. I have a cooler in my car. I'll be okay.
So I went and bought him every sandwich meat I could find a couple of loaves of bread, three different cheeses, some fruit, condiments, everything because he was so appreciative.
It makes me want to do more and it offsets those people who I say, you know, are you hungry? I don't want your food. Give me money, you know, or, or curse me out for not giving the money.
He offsets that and it makes what I do more rewarding. You're the offset. You're the offset. Thank you.
You're the one who makes people say, man, I want to keep doing this. I am so just so pleased with the work I'm doing because of people like the Aries.
I appreciate it. I appreciate it.
Yes, the truth. Any questions? I see we're short on time. Anything you want to share anything you want to share.
I would just like, you know, thank God. I think my friends and my family. Oh, I got to give a big shout out to my job.
I'm really getting the things afraid. They really have gave me purpose in my life. I wake up every day. I get to go to work. I get a paycheck.
I'm back in society. I'm a taxpayer now. So I have to say thank you to them for giving me a chance and, you know, allowing me to at least showcase the skills that I still have.
That's that's all I really like to say.
Once again, what's the name of the company and where are they?
King or freight. They're located here in Wichita, Kansas.
Ingle freight. We will definitely you guys. I don't know what they do. I guess they do freight.
Yeah, third brokers company. They move freight for companies that they need.
Okay, that is awesome. And what do you do for them?
I think this bench.
There's nothing that's holding you down. Are you still in the bed?
I've been working for bed for the last year. Yes.
I work overtime. I do color books. I'm creating. I'm working.
I'm helping you with the podcast. You're helping me. I'm just all about giving back in.
And, you know, I see that the life is giving back to me as well.
The areas from me and my husband, my family, everybody who I even got more emails about you than every podcast I've ever done combined.
So we applaud you. Very proud of you. Very proud of you.
I honestly want to see you soar. I want this podcast shared abundantly.
I want it shared so much that it goes viral and that you get the support everything you need so that you're able to help.
If I could even get somebody to set you up so you can do your own podcast and you can bring so much joy to so many people.
It doesn't have to be on this platform. It's just the world is yours.
However, you see fit for it to work. I have faith that it's going to come to fruition.
I would like to say thank you to everyone who listened, who does share, who's already shared, who's emailed you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You know, I really do.
They're my story does inspire someone. So thank you, Sonya.
You are welcome. And last, besides your mom, I want to thank Paula for even recommending us to talk.
This is probably one of the best recommendations as far as communication. She's had.
It's just the best.
We all love you.
We are going to end here and I am going to probably call you tomorrow just to talk to you and then we're going to go ahead and and move forward and think about when we're going to talk again and how we can get you set up.
Thank you, Sonya. Keep keep doing what you're doing. You matter. You make everyone else matter. I love you. I appreciate it.
I love you too. Thank you so much. Have a great night and I'll speak to you tomorrow.
All right.
You all who listen to this, you know how you can find me if you have any questions, anything for the areas you can send it to me at Sonya M.
That's S O N Y A M at ledbymotivation.com or ledbymotivation07 at gmail.com.
Let us give Deairas his flowers. He deserves this.
Can you imagine getting shot at such a young age being put in a wheelchair becoming a quadriplegic and having that kind of attitude that man is an inspiration to us.
And let's help him shine. Have a great day on purpose and give somebody some love. Give him a compliment. Give him a hug, a smile and do it on purpose.