Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with your mind your body your choice
Two things number one
I know I said I was going to have Deairus's second interview this week, but I was so excited
I was a week early so that'll be next week. I thought our interview was last Friday and it's actually
Coming up on the 22nd. That's the first thing
second thing is I
I had my birthday Sunday and
You know people honestly don't I posted it was a long post maybe nobody wanted to read it
But I was posting about how
There are so many things that me and my husband had planned we had planned to go to Africa this year and a friend of mine
invited us on a
Cruise I think we were going to a rubric somewhere. I don't know but
We initially were going to do both things and I'm just really in my
Loving on other people's season and it costs money to live on other people
Especially the homeless the needy the down and out the disenfranchised it costs money
And I can't just say that and not be about it
And I feel like God is push he has pushed me not only do I see my purpose?
Which is kind of it's all centered around helping but it's multifaceted so I got the newsletters
I have this podcast I have the the things I give out to the homeless. I have the
Donating I have the st. Jude's I do I have all these things
But they all come together with having a heart for other people and I'm not saying people who don't do this
Don't have a heart for other people. I'm saying it's my purpose
it's not other people's purpose to go out there and
To not get a six-figure job anymore. We're not work at one anymore
But to bring in nothing and take out
Instead, you know, I'm taxing my husband, but he doesn't complain because all the money
I was bringing in is is depleted. I don't bring in anything
But I spin to help the homeless
So anyway
It was my wish on my birthday that I didn't get any gifts
But people who normally buy me gifts
Instead of buying something for me buy something in bulk for the homeless and they did not disappoint
My second wish was if you don't want to do that you can give to st. Jude one or the other
So both of them together. It was beautiful and I'm appreciative on the flip side
There were just a few people who did something for me anyway, and I didn't even realize how much I needed or wanted that
That was really really nice. I got a couple of fedors
My favorite gift was I got a new dishware set y'all. Oh my gosh
This stuff's so pretty I quickly took all these other dishes. I have three sets. I took two of them out
Put one on one side for my daughter and put one on the other side put the other side for my son
I was like y'all come get this crap, but
Anyway, I'm appreciative. I am the appreciating type not the type that wants people to just dawn on me and and and
You know fan me with feathers and tell me how great I am on my birthday
We all have a birthday every single person you see you cross you talk to you know
You watch on TV you here on the radio has a birthday
We were all born
So yes, it's a big deal your birthday I try to let everybody know what a big deal their day is but at the same time
Know that you probably share that day with another million people
You just be uniquely you so let me move on into my
Thing for today. I want to talk about being shackled
You know
quite often
All of us have probably been shackled to something in one way or another and I've spoke about
Living in your moment not living for tomorrow not living in yesterday if you haven't heard
Look at my podcast when yet when when tomorrow know when yesterday comes and it's called when yesterday comes because people
Are still living so far behind
They're not even close to being caught up. They haven't even lived yesterday today and they still got tomorrow, but they're still stuck in
1985 you know all the things they did wrong back then and they're not able to enjoy their day
But today I want to add on to that and talk about being shackled and
being shackled
Not only do we shackle ourselves to our past and things we've done and
And things we wish we could change and we forget that every day is a new day just to get it right
But we allow other people to shackle us
We allow other people to hold us in
In areas we are longing to get out of to hold memories to us that we really don't want to keep memorialized
In a way where we think about it all the time, but other people keep us shackled
Sometimes it makes other people feel good
to know that you don't
And it's not like they don't like you it's that I
Hate this saying and I say it all the time, but hurt people hurt people
You know they will hold you
accountable
For something you've been prayed about and asked for forgiveness for and you keep trying to move past
But they won't let you and a lot of times it has zero to do with them
Nothing to do with them
They just want to remind you that you ain't all that
That they know what you did last summer
That they
Understand your imperfections and they don't want to give you your roses today
For the good things you've done
They don't want to say at a boy for the positivity
They don't want to clap for you and tell you what a great person you are becoming or you have become
They want to keep you shackled to all the negativity. I'm gonna tell you something
This is no joke. You could have
Got caught shoplifting
In 1996
Here we are in 2023 there can be somebody who knew you got caught shoplifting
And anytime you're like man, I'm gonna go shopping. I want a little girl remember that time you got caught shoplifting
Oh my god, it was so embarrassing and you went to jail and and the police were there and and your kids
In 1996 it's 2023 I'm balling I'm doing well
But you want to keep me shackled to the past
You meet somebody new, you know, you're not in a relationship I
Met this guy. He's really nice. Oh, is he like the other one does he do this like such and such did and this like such and such
Did and oh my god if he
Keeping you shackled to your past relationships
Don't allow
Anybody to shackle you to the things of your past
You have to make the decision, you know what I've apologized to whomever even if it's to yourself even if it's just the God I've
Apologized I've released this I will not
Let you pigeonhole me here and there's nothing wrong
We're telling that person. Hey listen, you can live in that life if you want to I'd move past that
So next time I tell you I'm gonna blah blah blah and you want to bring that up keep it to yourself
And if you really care about them because that's something I would say
You know, hey, hey, hey duty. I
Don't know why duty came in my mind, but hey duty
You always bring that up and and it bothers me it bothers me, you know that happened 25 years ago
So I really wish you would quit bringing it up every time you might not even realize you do it, you know, and I know you love me
but please
Please don't do that
And if they keep doing it anyway, you might have to get harsh and go back to my first scenario
And say it face to face
Because that's my style, but anyway, don't allow other people to hold you to things of your past
That are unhappy moments and unhealthy moments for you
Don't allow them to take your joy don't allow them to steal your peace by bringing up something a door
You're allowing these people to keep their foot in your door a door that should have been shut
They don't put a shoe in there to hold it open and they walked away with the other shoe looking for another door to hold open
Don't allow that
But more than that
Don't do it to yourself
Don't still be thinking about the what ifs
From ten years ago
The why didn't I's from five years ago
The how could I have let that
I've let it from three years ago
But I don't understand what's wrong with me
From one year ago
To the I wish I could go back and change
from last week
To I hate that I did that
From yesterday
Before you go to bed when you know you've messed up
You ask God for forgiveness if you've hurt somebody else you ask them for forgiveness
And as I always tell you be prepared for no, but you do it from your heart
That no will sting but it won't be as bad as if you never ask or if you do it without sincerity
Be sincere with your apologies
Go to the throne
Apologize but the next day do better. I
Can't call my husband
Asari as bastard today
Apologize for it and then wake up tomorrow and call my sorry ass bastard. I didn't mean my apology
By the way, I would never ever ever my husband was an ambassador and he ain't a sorry ass so
Don't say things you don't mean don't give fake empty
Apologies don't drop an apology on somebody's lap and then they fill it up with BS
images
Be sincere
But don't allow yourself
The only thing worse than you allowing somebody to shackle you is you allowing you to shackle you because truth be told when you
Allow them to speak that stuff into your life and you accept it
And you like yeah, I know and you all sad for that moment
You're shackling yourself because you have the right to shut them down
Don't allow that in your life move on you think I haven't made mistakes
I've made enough for you me it
Timothy Gloria and
What's crazy is nobody speaks about the mistakes I made people speak about made-up mistakes
I made stuff that never happened me being on drugs
Me being in a gang
Those things never happened in my life
So I can't allow them to shackle me they pissed me off
But they can't shackle me because they're not true, but the things I did do wrong
Nobody speaks about anyway, so the only person who would have kept me shackled is me and I did
For decades, I told you guys I wouldn't even allow people to love me. You love me too much
I gotta go I'm gonna come up with some kind of reason to leave you because I just didn't think I deserved it
That was the bottom line
I've had three really good men in my life one at the very beginning my oldest out of spider who passed away
He loved me and he was a good man
And after that everybody else was like a game to me and
Then in the middle I met a really good man, but he messed that up
And that was that and
And then I thought you know what I don't really want any more relationships. I'm done
I'm done
And I went on about my life and I would meet decent people
But the minute they started talking forever in relationship. I would run
Now I gotta be mean to you and let you go
but
God
But God brought that person into my life and she let me know
You're gonna be all right
Now go do what God has for you to do
And I took those shackles off of my feet
Took those shackles off of my hands. I
Packed up I moved and I said God may your will be done
and ever since then
Every day I've been living in my moment
There's no perfection in my life y'all my husband has pissed me off a couple of times and you know what I did I
Sat and talked to him about it
And went to bed and slept I
Used to be so mad I asleep I
Was sit around thinking about what I was gonna do about my anger
And it would just fester in me for days and days now
I'm the type of person if you make me real mad or I used to be
I'm not putting that on myself
And I could find you
There are gonna be consequences one way or another ending a friendship ending a relationship fist
Fist the cuffs whatever
I'm gonna express myself without yelling
Without raising my voice and if you start yelling in person, I'm gonna get quiet but anyway
That was faster in me if I couldn't see you it was faster for days and days and days and then I would let it go
So many days pass. I just let it go and if I see you I just don't speak to you
I might say something it depends
But those days and days and days I
Was shackled to something that happened
That I'm even gonna live done that probably eight times in my life and cannot remember the scenario for one of them not one
But I let it take away so much of my time and energy
And I stayed just shackled to that anger
Now there are things you should shackle yourself to you go get your shackles right now
And if you have somebody around you you love you shackle yourself to that person
You don't have somebody around you that's okay long-distance shackles work as well
You have a really good friend or two or three your blast shackle yourself to those friendships
Make a mean something be the perfect friend you want
You got kids
Shackle yourself to them. They're yours for life
I don't kid my daughter's 32 my son's 30 my other daughters 25. They are shackled to me for life
You got parents that are alive
You got siblings aunties uncles that don't mean you harm
cousins shackle shackle shackle
You got God in your life cuff them cuff them
Make your shackles
Positive go out and tell somebody I am shackled to God. I am shackled to my husband
Say it with a smile
Because when people hear shackled they're automatically gonna think oh man poor you you shackled to that man
Now I am shackled to my husband. I'm shackled to that man. Mmm
I am shackled to my friend Paula man. That is a good friend. We are shackled for life
I am shackled to Tyesha to Leah Keaton
Quentin Junior Farah and Quailin. I
Love them kids shackle
And nothing wrong
would take in
Take those shackles off of my feet
If y'all know the song and turn it into
Put those shackles all over me my shackles are filled with love
I
You guys you know, I am changing I I
Was doing podcast almost every day and
I found out this is a big time therapy for me. It's so therapeutic
That's why some of my podcasts are outstanding and some of you're probably scratching your head like what the hell
But it's therapeutic for me and I release some some I probably have 40. I've never released
Because they're just so all over the place, but sometimes I release them because I feel
The energy behind me to release it. It's like God is telling me go ahead and release that
Everybody won't get it, but there's somebody who needs it. So I release it
But I'm in such a great place and not saying when I was doing them every day. I wasn't I
Am just a heavy thinker and if I don't release these things in one way or another
They
Interfered my sleep and they interfere with my day
So I get on the podcast and I release them and I feel better. I feel better. It is so therapeutic for me
It is so don't feel bad if you know one of my podcasts don't hit you it ain't hitting
It's okay. It just wasn't for you, but don't give up on me. I have so many great podcasts coming
I have three interviews set up
One with somebody who who lost both of her parents and just a struggle of being an adult with no adult
Parents to lean on I have the one with diaries if you haven't listened to that
I think it's called the true meaning of resilience go listen to the first one
And I have a young man who said he was abandoned by his mother
I'm looking forward to all three of those
And once again if you want to be on this show or you have an idea you can hit me up at Sonya M at ledbymotivation.com or
Led by motivation
07 at gmail.com
Alright y'all have a great day on purpose and I will talk to you again soon