1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,240 Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with your mind your body your choice 2 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:11,340 Two things number one 3 00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:17,200 I know I said I was going to have Deairus's second interview this week, but I was so excited 4 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:22,760 I was a week early so that'll be next week. I thought our interview was last Friday and it's actually 5 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,160 Coming up on the 22nd. That's the first thing 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,800 second thing is I 7 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,840 I had my birthday Sunday and 8 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:39,400 You know people honestly don't I posted it was a long post maybe nobody wanted to read it 9 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,920 But I was posting about how 10 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:48,600 There are so many things that me and my husband had planned we had planned to go to Africa this year and a friend of mine 11 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,200 invited us on a 12 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,240 Cruise I think we were going to a rubric somewhere. I don't know but 13 00:00:55,240 --> 00:01:01,680 We initially were going to do both things and I'm just really in my 14 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:07,540 Loving on other people's season and it costs money to live on other people 15 00:01:07,540 --> 00:01:12,880 Especially the homeless the needy the down and out the disenfranchised it costs money 16 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,800 And I can't just say that and not be about it 17 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:21,520 And I feel like God is push he has pushed me not only do I see my purpose? 18 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:28,960 Which is kind of it's all centered around helping but it's multifaceted so I got the newsletters 19 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:34,040 I have this podcast I have the the things I give out to the homeless. I have the 20 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,640 Donating I have the st. Jude's I do I have all these things 21 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:45,400 But they all come together with having a heart for other people and I'm not saying people who don't do this 22 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:49,240 Don't have a heart for other people. I'm saying it's my purpose 23 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:54,300 it's not other people's purpose to go out there and 24 00:01:54,840 --> 00:02:00,000 To not get a six-figure job anymore. We're not work at one anymore 25 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,960 But to bring in nothing and take out 26 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:09,900 Instead, you know, I'm taxing my husband, but he doesn't complain because all the money 27 00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:13,920 I was bringing in is is depleted. I don't bring in anything 28 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,720 But I spin to help the homeless 29 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,720 So anyway 30 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:24,040 It was my wish on my birthday that I didn't get any gifts 31 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,240 But people who normally buy me gifts 32 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:32,240 Instead of buying something for me buy something in bulk for the homeless and they did not disappoint 33 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:37,400 My second wish was if you don't want to do that you can give to st. Jude one or the other 34 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:43,440 So both of them together. It was beautiful and I'm appreciative on the flip side 35 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:51,400 There were just a few people who did something for me anyway, and I didn't even realize how much I needed or wanted that 36 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,760 That was really really nice. I got a couple of fedors 37 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,940 My favorite gift was I got a new dishware set y'all. Oh my gosh 38 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:07,120 This stuff's so pretty I quickly took all these other dishes. I have three sets. I took two of them out 39 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:13,880 Put one on one side for my daughter and put one on the other side put the other side for my son 40 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,380 I was like y'all come get this crap, but 41 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:27,040 Anyway, I'm appreciative. I am the appreciating type not the type that wants people to just dawn on me and and and 42 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:32,880 You know fan me with feathers and tell me how great I am on my birthday 43 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:39,880 We all have a birthday every single person you see you cross you talk to you know 44 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:44,120 You watch on TV you here on the radio has a birthday 45 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,680 We were all born 46 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:55,480 So yes, it's a big deal your birthday I try to let everybody know what a big deal their day is but at the same time 47 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,600 Know that you probably share that day with another million people 48 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:04,240 You just be uniquely you so let me move on into my 49 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,100 Thing for today. I want to talk about being shackled 50 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,640 You know 51 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,640 quite often 52 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:18,480 All of us have probably been shackled to something in one way or another and I've spoke about 53 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:23,900 Living in your moment not living for tomorrow not living in yesterday if you haven't heard 54 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:32,340 Look at my podcast when yet when when tomorrow know when yesterday comes and it's called when yesterday comes because people 55 00:04:32,660 --> 00:04:35,180 Are still living so far behind 56 00:04:35,820 --> 00:04:42,140 They're not even close to being caught up. They haven't even lived yesterday today and they still got tomorrow, but they're still stuck in 57 00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:49,020 1985 you know all the things they did wrong back then and they're not able to enjoy their day 58 00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:52,540 But today I want to add on to that and talk about being shackled and 59 00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:54,540 being shackled 60 00:04:56,380 --> 00:05:02,180 Not only do we shackle ourselves to our past and things we've done and 61 00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:08,900 And things we wish we could change and we forget that every day is a new day just to get it right 62 00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:12,620 But we allow other people to shackle us 63 00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:16,800 We allow other people to hold us in 64 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:26,200 In areas we are longing to get out of to hold memories to us that we really don't want to keep memorialized 65 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:32,760 In a way where we think about it all the time, but other people keep us shackled 66 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,480 Sometimes it makes other people feel good 67 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,080 to know that you don't 68 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:42,400 And it's not like they don't like you it's that I 69 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,680 Hate this saying and I say it all the time, but hurt people hurt people 70 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,880 You know they will hold you 71 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:52,920 accountable 72 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:58,480 For something you've been prayed about and asked for forgiveness for and you keep trying to move past 73 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,480 But they won't let you and a lot of times it has zero to do with them 74 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,960 Nothing to do with them 75 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,640 They just want to remind you that you ain't all that 76 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:13,680 That they know what you did last summer 77 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,040 That they 78 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:21,560 Understand your imperfections and they don't want to give you your roses today 79 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,200 For the good things you've done 80 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:28,360 They don't want to say at a boy for the positivity 81 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:35,560 They don't want to clap for you and tell you what a great person you are becoming or you have become 82 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:41,360 They want to keep you shackled to all the negativity. I'm gonna tell you something 83 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,280 This is no joke. You could have 84 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,120 Got caught shoplifting 85 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,200 In 1996 86 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:57,760 Here we are in 2023 there can be somebody who knew you got caught shoplifting 87 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:04,080 And anytime you're like man, I'm gonna go shopping. I want a little girl remember that time you got caught shoplifting 88 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:10,680 Oh my god, it was so embarrassing and you went to jail and and the police were there and and your kids 89 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:18,080 In 1996 it's 2023 I'm balling I'm doing well 90 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,480 But you want to keep me shackled to the past 91 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:29,000 You meet somebody new, you know, you're not in a relationship I 92 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:36,320 Met this guy. He's really nice. Oh, is he like the other one does he do this like such and such did and this like such and such 93 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,320 Did and oh my god if he 94 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,800 Keeping you shackled to your past relationships 95 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,200 Don't allow 96 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:53,000 Anybody to shackle you to the things of your past 97 00:07:53,000 --> 00:08:04,000 You have to make the decision, you know what I've apologized to whomever even if it's to yourself even if it's just the God I've 98 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:08,800 Apologized I've released this I will not 99 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,280 Let you pigeonhole me here and there's nothing wrong 100 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:18,720 We're telling that person. Hey listen, you can live in that life if you want to I'd move past that 101 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:24,720 So next time I tell you I'm gonna blah blah blah and you want to bring that up keep it to yourself 102 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,920 And if you really care about them because that's something I would say 103 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:35,080 You know, hey, hey, hey duty. I 104 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,440 Don't know why duty came in my mind, but hey duty 105 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:45,680 You always bring that up and and it bothers me it bothers me, you know that happened 25 years ago 106 00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:53,320 So I really wish you would quit bringing it up every time you might not even realize you do it, you know, and I know you love me 107 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,240 but please 108 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,400 Please don't do that 109 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:04,400 And if they keep doing it anyway, you might have to get harsh and go back to my first scenario 110 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,360 And say it face to face 111 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:16,680 Because that's my style, but anyway, don't allow other people to hold you to things of your past 112 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:22,720 That are unhappy moments and unhealthy moments for you 113 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:31,440 Don't allow them to take your joy don't allow them to steal your peace by bringing up something a door 114 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,920 You're allowing these people to keep their foot in your door a door that should have been shut 115 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:42,640 They don't put a shoe in there to hold it open and they walked away with the other shoe looking for another door to hold open 116 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,920 Don't allow that 117 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,320 But more than that 118 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,760 Don't do it to yourself 119 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,720 Don't still be thinking about the what ifs 120 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:57,920 From ten years ago 121 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,920 The why didn't I's from five years ago 122 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,760 The how could I have let that 123 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,760 I've let it from three years ago 124 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,680 But I don't understand what's wrong with me 125 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,920 From one year ago 126 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,800 To the I wish I could go back and change 127 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,720 from last week 128 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,440 To I hate that I did that 129 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,840 From yesterday 130 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,560 Before you go to bed when you know you've messed up 131 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:35,960 You ask God for forgiveness if you've hurt somebody else you ask them for forgiveness 132 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:40,600 And as I always tell you be prepared for no, but you do it from your heart 133 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:49,040 That no will sting but it won't be as bad as if you never ask or if you do it without sincerity 134 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:53,440 Be sincere with your apologies 135 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,160 Go to the throne 136 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,640 Apologize but the next day do better. I 137 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,080 Can't call my husband 138 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,800 Asari as bastard today 139 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:16,240 Apologize for it and then wake up tomorrow and call my sorry ass bastard. I didn't mean my apology 140 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,560 By the way, I would never ever ever my husband was an ambassador and he ain't a sorry ass so 141 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:28,000 Don't say things you don't mean don't give fake empty 142 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:33,800 Apologies don't drop an apology on somebody's lap and then they fill it up with BS 143 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,880 images 144 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,880 Be sincere 145 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,280 But don't allow yourself 146 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:49,360 The only thing worse than you allowing somebody to shackle you is you allowing you to shackle you because truth be told when you 147 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,560 Allow them to speak that stuff into your life and you accept it 148 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:58,240 And you like yeah, I know and you all sad for that moment 149 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,480 You're shackling yourself because you have the right to shut them down 150 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:10,320 Don't allow that in your life move on you think I haven't made mistakes 151 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,560 I've made enough for you me it 152 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:18,560 Timothy Gloria and 153 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:26,480 What's crazy is nobody speaks about the mistakes I made people speak about made-up mistakes 154 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,120 I made stuff that never happened me being on drugs 155 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,960 Me being in a gang 156 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,520 Those things never happened in my life 157 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,000 So I can't allow them to shackle me they pissed me off 158 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:45,000 But they can't shackle me because they're not true, but the things I did do wrong 159 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:49,720 Nobody speaks about anyway, so the only person who would have kept me shackled is me and I did 160 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:56,560 For decades, I told you guys I wouldn't even allow people to love me. You love me too much 161 00:12:56,560 --> 00:13:01,760 I gotta go I'm gonna come up with some kind of reason to leave you because I just didn't think I deserved it 162 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,720 That was the bottom line 163 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:13,440 I've had three really good men in my life one at the very beginning my oldest out of spider who passed away 164 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,240 He loved me and he was a good man 165 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,120 And after that everybody else was like a game to me and 166 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,920 Then in the middle I met a really good man, but he messed that up 167 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,920 And that was that and 168 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:36,800 And then I thought you know what I don't really want any more relationships. I'm done 169 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,760 I'm done 170 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:45,120 And I went on about my life and I would meet decent people 171 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:51,400 But the minute they started talking forever in relationship. I would run 172 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,200 Now I gotta be mean to you and let you go 173 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,200 but 174 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,360 God 175 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:05,720 But God brought that person into my life and she let me know 176 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,720 You're gonna be all right 177 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:13,040 Now go do what God has for you to do 178 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:18,000 And I took those shackles off of my feet 179 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,380 Took those shackles off of my hands. I 180 00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:28,300 Packed up I moved and I said God may your will be done 181 00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,180 and ever since then 182 00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:37,300 Every day I've been living in my moment 183 00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:45,740 There's no perfection in my life y'all my husband has pissed me off a couple of times and you know what I did I 184 00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:48,620 Sat and talked to him about it 185 00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:52,660 And went to bed and slept I 186 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,340 Used to be so mad I asleep I 187 00:14:57,380 --> 00:15:00,580 Was sit around thinking about what I was gonna do about my anger 188 00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:04,180 And it would just fester in me for days and days now 189 00:15:04,180 --> 00:15:08,620 I'm the type of person if you make me real mad or I used to be 190 00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:11,220 I'm not putting that on myself 191 00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:13,740 And I could find you 192 00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:21,500 There are gonna be consequences one way or another ending a friendship ending a relationship fist 193 00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:24,060 Fist the cuffs whatever 194 00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:27,180 I'm gonna express myself without yelling 195 00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:33,220 Without raising my voice and if you start yelling in person, I'm gonna get quiet but anyway 196 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:42,100 That was faster in me if I couldn't see you it was faster for days and days and days and then I would let it go 197 00:15:42,100 --> 00:15:47,420 So many days pass. I just let it go and if I see you I just don't speak to you 198 00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:49,420 I might say something it depends 199 00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:52,580 But those days and days and days I 200 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,780 Was shackled to something that happened 201 00:15:56,460 --> 00:16:02,860 That I'm even gonna live done that probably eight times in my life and cannot remember the scenario for one of them not one 202 00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:10,300 But I let it take away so much of my time and energy 203 00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:14,900 And I stayed just shackled to that anger 204 00:16:17,860 --> 00:16:22,060 Now there are things you should shackle yourself to you go get your shackles right now 205 00:16:22,820 --> 00:16:27,940 And if you have somebody around you you love you shackle yourself to that person 206 00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:34,940 You don't have somebody around you that's okay long-distance shackles work as well 207 00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:40,900 You have a really good friend or two or three your blast shackle yourself to those friendships 208 00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:44,980 Make a mean something be the perfect friend you want 209 00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:48,180 You got kids 210 00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:51,860 Shackle yourself to them. They're yours for life 211 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:58,580 I don't kid my daughter's 32 my son's 30 my other daughters 25. They are shackled to me for life 212 00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:01,660 You got parents that are alive 213 00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:06,780 You got siblings aunties uncles that don't mean you harm 214 00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:09,740 cousins shackle shackle shackle 215 00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:18,940 You got God in your life cuff them cuff them 216 00:17:23,380 --> 00:17:25,380 Make your shackles 217 00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:32,780 Positive go out and tell somebody I am shackled to God. I am shackled to my husband 218 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,220 Say it with a smile 219 00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:41,100 Because when people hear shackled they're automatically gonna think oh man poor you you shackled to that man 220 00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:46,940 Now I am shackled to my husband. I'm shackled to that man. Mmm 221 00:17:48,380 --> 00:17:53,500 I am shackled to my friend Paula man. That is a good friend. We are shackled for life 222 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:57,460 I am shackled to Tyesha to Leah Keaton 223 00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:01,340 Quentin Junior Farah and Quailin. I 224 00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:04,460 Love them kids shackle 225 00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:07,460 And nothing wrong 226 00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:09,300 would take in 227 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:11,300 Take those shackles off of my feet 228 00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:14,700 If y'all know the song and turn it into 229 00:18:15,340 --> 00:18:19,420 Put those shackles all over me my shackles are filled with love 230 00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:22,060 I 231 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:26,300 You guys you know, I am changing I I 232 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:30,820 Was doing podcast almost every day and 233 00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:36,300 I found out this is a big time therapy for me. It's so therapeutic 234 00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:40,940 That's why some of my podcasts are outstanding and some of you're probably scratching your head like what the hell 235 00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:48,220 But it's therapeutic for me and I release some some I probably have 40. I've never released 236 00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:54,100 Because they're just so all over the place, but sometimes I release them because I feel 237 00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:59,540 The energy behind me to release it. It's like God is telling me go ahead and release that 238 00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:04,020 Everybody won't get it, but there's somebody who needs it. So I release it 239 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:09,340 But I'm in such a great place and not saying when I was doing them every day. I wasn't I 240 00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:16,140 Am just a heavy thinker and if I don't release these things in one way or another 241 00:19:16,140 --> 00:19:18,140 They 242 00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:21,460 Interfered my sleep and they interfere with my day 243 00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:28,580 So I get on the podcast and I release them and I feel better. I feel better. It is so therapeutic for me 244 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:35,700 It is so don't feel bad if you know one of my podcasts don't hit you it ain't hitting 245 00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:42,760 It's okay. It just wasn't for you, but don't give up on me. I have so many great podcasts coming 246 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,620 I have three interviews set up 247 00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:55,940 One with somebody who who lost both of her parents and just a struggle of being an adult with no adult 248 00:19:56,340 --> 00:20:01,180 Parents to lean on I have the one with diaries if you haven't listened to that 249 00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:05,540 I think it's called the true meaning of resilience go listen to the first one 250 00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:10,060 And I have a young man who said he was abandoned by his mother 251 00:20:10,060 --> 00:20:13,500 I'm looking forward to all three of those 252 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:23,780 And once again if you want to be on this show or you have an idea you can hit me up at Sonya M at ledbymotivation.com or 253 00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:27,340 Led by motivation 254 00:20:27,340 --> 00:20:29,340 07 at gmail.com 255 00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:40,460 Alright y'all have a great day on purpose and I will talk to you again soon