Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening everybody. It's your girl, Sonya McQueen,
with your mind, your body, your choice. So I was reading my Bible yesterday and I was
reading the story and I'll probably say his name wrong so forgive me if you know who he
is. But I was reading the story about a guy named Nick Vujacek. Anyway, he was born without
arms or legs and he used to pray to the Lord all the time to please, please, please make
it so he had arms and legs. And in the prayer it was saying he was saying he would settle
for even one arm or one leg but no arms and no legs was just a bit much he thought. But
then he realized that he was being used by God to reach people just a plethora of people
all over the world in schools and prisons and colleges and in businesses and churches
and orphanages and hospitals. He was just reaching so many people and getting so much
hug and so much validation for the encouragement he put in them just for being himself and
for keeping a smile on his face and for being steadfast. He encouraged hundreds of thousands
of people and it didn't depend on whether he had legs or not. Whether he had arms or
not, it depended on his heart and the way he used his heart to show love and he had
so much favor. And then he realized I guess one day that even though he didn't have arms
nor legs, how God still took his unusual body but gave him a heart to encourage and
uplift other people's spirits. Isn't that beautiful? All that tells me is we depend on
the grace of God just to be good people. We don't depend on other people's attaboy's.
We don't depend on other people's I don't want to say encouragement but some people
take it too far like they literally live their lives for what makes other people happy. Let's
just say this young man would have been miserable about the fact he didn't have arms and legs.
Now I didn't stop him from praying for arms and legs just like we can be very happy with
minimal but we'll still pray for more but we don't change our happiness if that makes
sense. I could pray for new furniture but I'm not unhappy with what I have. I thank God
for the furniture I have while maybe I'm like but you know God I would love to refurbish
my house or something like that now. That wasn't a shot to my husband. I love my furniture.
He just bought it for me for my birthday. I think my 50th birthday is absolutely gorgeous
cost a lot of money. No shots intended but you get the point or he bought me a car for
my birthday two years ago a brand new car and I could sit here and say Lord I love my
car but you know what I would love the newer version of this but I'm still thankful for
what I have is my whole point. He was praying for arms and legs and he was like God just
blessed me with arms and legs but he did not let the fact he didn't have those arms and
legs take away from his pouring into other people. I want to talk about two things today.
I want to talk about pouring into others and allowing others to pour into you. Almost all
my life I've poured into other people but I would shut like I'd pulled down a still door.
You could not penetrate that door. You couldn't lift it. You couldn't move it. You couldn't
go around it. You couldn't go under or over it when it came to people pouring into me.
I actually think I picked some of my friends, some of my friends based on how messed up
they were so that I could pour into them. I just wanted to be something to somebody besides
my kids. I wanted to bring something to their life and of course those people didn't bring
back anything into my life. They poured nothing into me but I was so happy to pour into them.
But when people tried to pour into me I'll never forget. I'll never forget I had a couple
of friends. I absolutely loved these friends which is scary for me because I had a best
friend for years and she was murdered. She was taken from me and then I got another best
friend later on and our house was broken into and she was hurt very badly and they blamed
me for it so I lost that friendship. Then I was a little worried about getting friends
but I got another really good friend and somebody called CPS on her and she thought it was me
and I used to wonder what is it about me that people think I would be that kind of grimy
friend. Then I had a friend that I just fell in love with and we were just as close as close
could be until I wrote my books and then she wrote her books and I don't know. She started
blaming me for being jealous and hating the friendship I had with my other friends. Anyway
I got to a point I didn't want any more friends that close to me. I wanted associates and
acquaintances. I didn't mind pouring into other people but I was very private about my life
what was going on with me, my moves, my mistakes but people would tell me everything about
them and I would pray for them, I would talk to them, I would encourage them but I didn't
allow them to know anything about me to pour back. So I had these two really really good
friends and the three of us were super close and we spent a lot of time together and I
went through something very hard for me like it was extremely hard and I'm not going to
get into it. If you've read my book you know what it was and I shut them both out and they
were trying everything they could to get to me, everything they could and I just had to
hurt them verbally to their faces to ensure they would leave me alone and they did. I
would not allow them to comfort me and to be there for me. I don't know if I feel like
I didn't deserve that kind of love because of the things I've done or if I was hurt by
losing so many people I just genuinely poured love into that I decided I wouldn't allow
people to get that close to me again. I don't know what it was but I know the best thing
that happened for me, this portion of my life, the last decade or so, is allowing God to
place somebody in my life who pours positivity in my life and me allow it and me stay faithful
to that friendship and not run or try to cause an issue between her and I so that I'm not
dealing with her or whatever I allow, not only did I allow it, it opened the door for
me to understand it's okay for me to trust people again, it's okay for me to love people,
it's okay for me to build friendships as long as God stays at the forefront, forefront of
my heart because he's going to guide me to the right people, he guided me to the right
husband, he guided me to the right person, he guided me to the right state, he gave me
a new family, he gave me this, he gave me that, I gotta trust that he's holding my heart
so suddenly I started allowing people to pour into me and tell me good things about myself
and speak positivity over my life and I'm not gonna lie to y'all that was hard, still
to this day I have a hard time when I'm struggling talking to anybody about it, I pray about
it and sometimes you just need to release, you need to verbatly vomit what's bothering
you or what's ailing you and you just never know who might have the exact words you need
to hear out loud but I still struggle with that, even with my husband sometimes I tell
him almost everything but I don't tell him everything so if there's anybody I'm gonna
talk to with him followed by one of my really good friends, my mentor, my confidant and
then I have a cousin or two who I might share with but that is so infrequent you guys, it
really is infrequent, I probably and this is gonna sound horrible but I probably call
people an average of once a month, I don't call, if somebody calls me I'm gonna answer
but I don't pick up the phone to call people I like the text, if you're on my heart I might
text you but anyway it's important for you to let people pour into you, now with that
let me tell you, you hear how I said how God guides people to me, how I have to trust that
he's going to bring the right people into my heart, my life, the devil's busy y'all,
there are so many people that he's trying to get to circumvent and to pour more negativity,
to put more coals on your fire, to get that lighter fluid, your flames about to go out,
you're about to go over that mountain and here he comes with that damn lighter fluid,
sitting everything back ablaze and you go back down, you gotta be careful about who
you allow to pour into you, remember I told you about the church, mega church, I was at
mega church, you're talking thousands and thousands of people go to this church and
how the preacher was having people just come up there and throw money on the stage and
throw money, large amounts of money and then he said at the end, those of you who gave
more money will be more blessed than those of you who gave less will be less blessed
than those of you who didn't give any money won't be blessed at all, that is not the type
of person I need pouring into me and that is not the type of church I need to be affiliated
with because with those words of course more people started running up there because he
is somebody that they're relying on to guide them, there are so many past, there's so many
good ones out there, I have not ran into one since I've been in Florida y'all, I'm not
gonna lie but I know that there are some out there, I went to a spot in a landfill of churches
here, I probably visited what, eight or nine and out of those eight or nine, eight or nine
were bad but that doesn't mean the next one, two, three, four, five I would have visited
wouldn't have been great, I just gave up but my whole point is those pastors have a big
responsibility on their shoulder and it is their responsibility to teach and preach love
and you have a preacher who's speaking about other people, I don't care if you agree with
people's lifestyle, I don't care if you agree with somebody is heterosexual, homosexual,
bisexual, trisexual, quadsexual, I don't care, the Bible says love, love, you don't like
somebody because they wear their hair in a crazy way because they're wearing bonnets
out in public because they have gold in their mouth because they got tattoos on their face
and you're judging them by that, those kind of preachers are scary to me because they
are not preaching love, they're actually pimping hate, be careful about who you connect yourself
with and allow to pour into your soul, every person I communicate with and once again I
don't communicate with anybody that often other than my husband and my kids, talk to
them every day but everybody else I ensure you, I promise you they are positive and they
are loving and if I slip they're going to help me back on my feet, they're going to
straighten my shirt out and send me on my way, it holds my arm if they need to because
they care, be careful about the ones who like to keep that negativity flowing and you might
not even realize it, you know how it is, I have a couple of friends like this, I'm mad,
they mad with me, you know I'm telling her oh I cannot believe this blah blah and they
are like girl you know you want to knuckle up, I'm going with you, I got your back, I
got your, instead of saying wait a minute is it that serious signing, you upset because
of this, this and this and you won't even remember this next week, come on you're bigger
than that, you're better than that, like I said they throw that lighter fluid on my fire,
next thing you know I'm in jail, I'm in jail, I'm going to tell you guys one more story
and I'm going to move on and end, I was in and I'm going to have to send this to this
young lady Joanne, I was in Fort Leonard Wood and I think I've told you guys this story
before and if you read my book you know it's in my book and I know people didn't believe
it until they heard her tell the story too but I knew these girls were coming to fight
me, I was on base, you know I was a military part time my husband was military full time,
at the time the guy was married to and we lived on base, we lived on post, you know
you're not allowed to go on post if you're not military unless a military person brings
you, anyway there was a married man, he was messing around on his wife and I took his
wife out, there were 17 of us who went out for my birthday and we went to this club and
her husband was there with one of his side chicks and he got mad at me for bringing his
wife, long story short he tells the girl he's with that I'm being messy and I'm a trouble
maker and all this stuff, I have nothing to do with this man or his relationship, I just
asked the lady if she wanted to go and she did, I didn't know he'd be there with a side
chick and it wasn't my business, anyway next thing I hear the side chick and all these
other girls decided to come up there and jump me so they call somebody they didn't know
I was very close with her names Joanne, they called Joanne telling her to set me up and
get me to the club so Joanne calls me and she was like what do you want to do and I tell
Joanne, alright well set it up, don't tell them how close we are just set it up, Joanne
has known me all my life, set it up and I'm going to the club and Joanne is like well
I'm going too now, if you've never seen me I'm 5'3", well I'm 5'4", I'm claiming 5'4'
and back then I probably weighed about 116 pounds, I weigh more than that now but I was
a size 3, 116, 5'4' and I had no worries and no fear and that's scary, I had no fear
so the day comes and Joanne, she's one of the people going out with me and there was
another lady who I'm not going to name, she was going and as I said there were 17 of us
so leading up to this day Joanne and the other girl who were considerably bigger than me
and when I say bigger I just mean they're bigger, like Joanne is almost 6' the other
girl is probably 5'9", 5'10", and Joanne is 5' she probably weighed a good 2'2'20
and the other girl probably weighed about 2'2'2'2'30 so they were talking about yeah
there's supposed to be 5 of them, I'm going to take 2, I'm going to take 2, signing you
can fight that one girl, I wasn't saying anything because that's my personality, I get very
very quiet, the matter I get the quieter I get and I don't do a lot of talking so anyway
we get to the club, I'm having a good time, the girl who asked Joanne to set me up, she's
on the dance floor, some guy asked me to dance, I go stand next to her and I'm dancing, dancing
was my thing y'all so she's giving me the side eye, I don't care, I'm having a good
time after the club closes, I went to this club so much I used to enter a lot of dance
contests, the people know me so I was on my way out, one of the people who worked there
was talking to me and her friend, the side chick's friend kept coming in looking to see
if I was still there, guess they thought I was going to sneak out but once again not
me so as I was exiting the club I had to take down a few steps and I've told this story
before so and there was just a big crowd of people standing there, she instantly starts
yelling and saying all this stuff and just barking, barking, barking and I'm looking
at her and she was probably about five, six, five, seven, probably a hundred fifty, sixty
pounds and all I said was you're lying and she is calling me names and she's all in my
face and she must me.
Now I'm going to tell you guys, it wasn't nice, it wasn't pretty, Joanne was exactly
what she said she was going to be but I didn't need her to throw any hands, I had all the
hands for everybody and afterwards we ended up back at my house sometime afterwards and
we were laughing and talking about what happened but the other girl who was I'm going to do
this, I'm going to do that, this, that, this and that apparently they caught her before
I ever walked out and they heard her really bad, they pulled braids out of her head, she
was missing parts of her scalp and they heard her really bad and she was in the ER but she
was mad at me, she was mad at me, I didn't invite her, didn't ask her to come.
I'm going to tell you guys why I'm telling you this story again, two things, I got in
a lot of trouble after that and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I was getting
in trouble, I got called to the, I don't know the base commanders, they had a meeting, they
were like all these high ranking people and I got in trouble and I couldn't, I said these
women don't belong on the base, they're not military, this married man brought them and
they were telling me to be quiet and I didn't want to be quiet and I got mad and I stood
up quietly, now I was steaming hot and they told me it was my fault, it was my fault,
not the married man's fault, not the women who didn't have any place, no business being
their fault, it was my fault, I flipped over the table and I walked out.
There were a few things that took me years to realize, number one, there was another
young lady named Kim, I'm going to send this to her too.
When Kim heard about the fight, Kim decided she wasn't going to go, Kim let me know right
off, I am not a fighter, I don't want to be involved in that, I was cracking up and I
was like Kim, I don't want anybody involved in this, this is not, but Kim was like yeah
and I don't want to be sucked into that and she was being real and I needed that, that's
number one, number two, took me years to realize why I got in trouble.
See you guys, I had friends who I love to this day, or friend and she had my back, she
was throwing that fuel on my fire and I already was a fighter when I had to be.
You can talk about me all day, you can yell, you can call me names, you don't put your
hands on me though and she knew this about me and she knew this about my family and
she fueled my fire to the point where my husband got in trouble, I got in trouble, all
because I could have stayed home, I had a choice to make when I found out those girls
were coming, I could have stayed home.
I didn't have to go to the club, it wasn't my birthday anymore, we all went out and
celebrated my birthday, this was just a random night that I had Joanne going, I could have
told Joanne, hey listen, just tell them girls that you know me or my girl and let it be
because then they probably would have said, oh man, we didn't know and it probably would
have just died out but instead my pride and my, you're not going to punk me, mode jumped
in and had I had somebody talk sense to me and say Sonia, hey listen, you don't know
them women and they don't know you, they're just doing that because of him because after
that I got into even more trouble, I was so mad after I flipped that table and I walked
out, I went home and got Billy, if you all don't know who Billy is, look up a previous
podcast and I walked across the street to his house and I was beating on his door and
I knew he was home, he wouldn't open the door so I bust out his window, just crazy but once
again there was nobody to tell me, Sonia, what's wrong with you, it ain't even worth
that, all it takes sometimes is one person to speak some sense into you, to pour into
you some positivity and not fuel your fire, I should have taken Kim's route and kept my
butt home, said I don't have nothing approved to nobody, you know, I could do this, I could
do that, I'm not going to do any of that and this day and age, if you try that now, you
are going to get shot, there's just no way around it, it's Wild Wild West 2023, it's
Wild Wild West, that's my first scenario and it's probably the most important for me to
lead into when you're already upset, don't lean on the people who are going to keep your
fire burning, either lean on God or lean on somebody who knows how to put ice and cool
you down, because my second story makes all the sense in the world, I used to have road
rage bad and that's a horrible thing to have in Miami, you don't believe me, look at how
many people die in road rage accidents, my husband told me one day, listen, you be ready
to knuckle up these people here on fights on you, they shoot, they kill over simple
things, you got to remember these people don't know you, when they're driving crazy, they're
not thinking, oh they're going to Sonya, let me go drive crazy, they don't know you, they
just drive crazy, it's a melting pot, stop getting so upset over people who don't mean
you no harm, they just drive crazy and that was the best advice he could have gave because
I promised you a few years ago, I was in the car with somebody and I got cut off and that
person was cracking up, oh you're going to let that go, you're going to let that go and
I ended up following that person, I ended up following that person and it's not the first
time you've heard me follow somebody, I've done that a few times, that could have went
any kind of way but she fueled my fire where my husband knew how to comment and cool it,
right, smaller example than before but you get the jast of it, you guys feed into other
people positivity, love, encourage them, lift them up, tell them when they look good, tell
them they look good, when they do something great, tell them they do great, don't be jealous
of your friends, tell them, they make money, they get a new job, they give up, double their
income, they go out and buy that made back, they get that beautiful mansion, tell them
that's what's up, I am so proud of you, your blessings are going to come in your way, their
blessings come in their way, you just make sure you encourage people but when they're
wrong, set them straight, set them straight, don't walk around with light or fluid, it's
your girl, you know you can find me at Sonya M at LeadbyMotivation.com or LeadbyMotivation.com
at Roll7 at Gmail.com and listen, if you listened to my podcast about a week and a half ago
now, it was with Deairus, I am doing part two today and you will hear it early next week
but I need everybody not only to listen to it but to share it, just send it to somebody
because this man needs prayer and he needs love and the guy I told you about at the very
beginning of this podcast, that's Deairus, he might have been shot, he might be a quadriplegic
but he speaks with the love of God, with a lot of favor and a lot of positivity and y'all
we could all take a note out of his book but the part two will be next week, I want you
guys to lift him up, please listen and share it with at least one person, aim for five
but at least one and I never ask you guys to share a podcast but this is for him, this
is for him, I want him to get everything he deserves, I want somebody to back his ideas
and support them financially, I want him to get his flowers in every way possible because
he is breathing love and positivity into people while laying on his back unable to move.
Think about that, think about it, have a great day on purpose and you know I'll see you next
week.