Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with
Your mind your body your choice
So I want to speak to you today about who you have around
You and your children if you have children, you know this day in age
social media so prevalent and
Dating people without really knowing them first, you know, it's it's not a big deal anymore
I I'll even admit I met my husband on a dating app
and
I am the type of person I honestly feel as though for me
It was a better choice than going out and meeting people because if I go out and meet somebody
They have the opportunity to follow me. I'm gonna get their number. They're gonna get my number
we're gonna speak speak immediately and
Talk to each other
But if I meet you on social media and you give me your name and all that I have the opportunity to look you up
Before I ever give you my phone number give you any information about me and before I met my husband
You know, I had been out with a few guys. I
Made it clear this is gonna sound horrible
But I had just moved to Florida and I didn't know anybody and I made it clear. I wasn't looking to date
I just wanted to hang out and I said I didn't care if it was a man or a woman who replied because I don't want to date
I just want somebody to do things with go to the movies or go out to eat or a
concert or something and
People will respond but after a couple of times y'all have outings that they want more and I wasn't trying to give more so anyway
That's how I met my husband and we had the opportunity to speak via social media
before we went on a date and then the rest is history but
People will quickly quickly move somebody in their home
You know, it's a morning
It's a red flag when you've been dating somebody two weeks and they're talking about they love you and
Maybe we should move in together. That's a red flag. It's a red flag if they do it in a month
It's just a red flag and these are things you should look at but
Sometimes even what people you're putting in quality time they could
Switch up on you so fast and you don't know where it's coming from, you know, maybe the the guy who
becomes possessive
after you become committed and
You know now they don't want you doing this they don't want you doing that they might become violent the girl who
Just starts popping up everywhere. She's at your job now because she don't believe you're really at work and she's scratching your car
She's doing you just never know
So you got to put in your homework and get to know the people around you, but especially
when you have kids
Especially you don't see things all that prevalent and important while you're dating somebody. That's you
but if you have kids it is
Extremely important that you do your homework look at the headlines these days and see how many people kill
Kids
You know kill their own kids, you know the lady who drowned her own kids because her boyfriend
Didn't like kids the man who let his girlfriend talk him into getting rid of his
son because she didn't want to raise somebody else's kid
It's crazy
But it's crazy are the people who come into your home and you go to work
And you leave your kids with them and next thing you know, you don't have kids anymore
This is a really important podcast you guys because
Our kids are worth it. They're worth the extra time to get to know somebody. They're worth it
Don't be so desperate that you throw yourself to the wolves and don't be so desperate that you throw your kids to me there
I'm gonna tell you a true story and the reason this podcast came up today is because it just something my husband and I seen on
court TV
This guy was dating this girl and he broke up with her and just the thing she did pouring sugar in his tank wrote all on his car
poured just crazy, but I
Was dating this guy and I think I spoke about this before and I really really like this guy and
We've been dating a few months and I decided you know what I like him and I'm going to
Introduce him to my kids. I'm gonna invite him over for dinner
So one night we had went out on a date. He took me out to eat and I think we went to the movies or something and I
Told him I said, you know what I know you've been wanting to
Meet my girls so I think I'm gonna introduce you to my girls and he was a static. He was just elated
But then I said the first time I look you up
I'm gonna check your background see what I could find make sure you're okay
And of course as the night went on his demeanor changed a little bit
I didn't pick up on it at first, but then he said to me
I want you to know when you look me up. You're gonna find something. I thought all hell here we go
So he proceeds to tell me a story about how
His daughter had this fast 13 year old friend and
How the friend used to flirt with him all the time call him green eyes because he had green eyes and just tell him
How handsome he was all the time and he'd be like this fast little girl this little girl
But then him and his wife were having problems. They were on the verge of getting a divorce and yaya yaya yaya
Yeah, and how the girl came over one day and he was listening to music
He told her my daughter's upstairs. He goes into the southern room
She follows up and she's still telling them just how handsome he is and she pulls up her shirt exposing her breast
And he says in this moment, you know being shunned by his wife and in this moment
He went and touched the girl's breast
But then he caught himself and he was like hey, you know, you got to go so on and so forth
But the girl tells somebody and that somebody tells the parents and the parents tell the police and
now he is
On register a pedophile
While he's saying all this all I know is you're gonna take me home dude
And that's what I had him do take me home
Of course, I was not going to see him anymore. Of course. I wasn't gonna introduce him to my daughters
Because no matter what his story was all I heard was I touched this 13 year old girl's breast. I
Don't care what you were going through with your wife
That lets me know if the story you even told is true if that girl would have done more
She would have came over and your daughter wasn't home
You would have went for it because you're weak and I
I had a 13 year old daughter or 12 year old at the time and and yeah, whatever I didn't want to hear it
I didn't care
So as time went on, you know, I had moved in one day. He sends me a text message saying
You know, he had been texting me and I was ignoring I'm ignoring I'm ignoring them telling them to
Go away and not so kind words and one day he texts me and said
Tweet who is my youngest daughter looks so cute today?
and
He described what she had on
And for a second I had fear and I was thinking this man is stalking me
He's stalking me and he's watching my child
But that fear quickly went to anger
I was talking to my best friend on the phone. I was telling her I'm gonna kill him
I saw like a dude and you know, she's talking me down talking me down because of course, I don't have a middle
Back then I was either happy or I was mad. I was mad
So what did I do? I?
Have a friend named Billy and some of y'all know who Billy is but Billy used to live in my trunk all the time. He's a bat a
heavy
mini bat and
So I went on and and I had a gun
But I went on to his house one day. I just decided you know what was good food the goose is better for the gender
And when he got ready to pull up, I'm sitting on his stoop
With Billy I
Don't think I have my gun. I think I had Billy
And he sees me and I guess he thought about it for a second and he backed up
So I stood up and put my hands up like where you going?
Where you going?
He backs out of his own driveway and he drives off
Well, he comes back a few minutes later, and I'm not on the stoop anymore. I'm sitting on his other car
still waiting on him
You know I have this you won't defeat me attitude
Now did I handle it right heck? No y'all don't follow in my footsteps, but I handled it my way at the time
at the time and
of course
He gets ready to back out again, and I'm yelling something to him
Point is
My friend calls me and I'm talking to her on the phone and she she talks me down a little bit
I leave I leave but I never ever ever
heard from him again surprisingly
You know I turned the tables on them
You thought you were gonna stalk me and scare me and and and put fear in me
But all you did was piss me off
And now I'm gonna give it back to you
That worked in my favor he might not work in somebody else's favor so once again
I suggest you not be as silly as I was but my whole point was
three months in I
Thought I knew this person and I didn't I
Didn't he's a pedophile looked him up after he told me of course and yeah, he's a registered pedophile
With the state he can't move without them knowing it gave his full name his address if you go to something this called
Watchdog watchdog. I'm gonna look it up while I'm talking to you guys, but if you go there and
even put in your
Area you in your area code or where you live it'll show you every sexual predator
Within a radius of where you live
Every single one of them it'll tell you their name their offense their address where they live
Who their family members are they don't play and I love it
It's actually called family watchdog dot us write that down and no matter where you go do it now
Because I'm gonna tell you first time I heard about this. I was at work
2004 and
A co-worker was saying something about it and I said what are you talking about?
She said oh my god is this thing you put in your address and it tells you every sexual predator who lives around you
And I said what are you serious? So we walk over to my desk
She tells me family watchdog. I type it in I put in my address and I see red and I see green and I see
I'm like, okay. This is crazy
So I put in you know, I click on one of the dots I click on one of the dots and
It is actually my daycare and I look the daycare. It's one of those home daycares
She actually had
X offenders people who just separated from prison
She also doubled as a place they could stay for X amount of time. I didn't even know that I
Didn't even know that this is just the daycare. I knew her I had known her for a couple of years
I knew her daughter and I trusted her because she was on record a daycare. I
Left work and went straight to her house. I I didn't say nothing to anybody
I jumped in my car and left I knew my child was there and I knew she had a sexual predator in that house and
I knocked on the door. She opened the door and I lost my mind on her and y'all gotta understand something about me
I don't yell my voice doesn't go much higher than it is now unless I'm laughing then it's kind of high
But I don't yell and the matter I am the softer and lower I speak
And I let her know under any
circumstances
If I find out this person's even talk to my daughter, I would be back
and ever since then I have
put addresses in
Family watchdog dot us to know where I'm living and who's living around me
And I've been blessed enough to live in neighborhoods where the nearest sexual predator is miles and miles away
You know, it shows you when they live where they live
Just look it up putting your own address if you've never done it before family watchdog dot us and see who lives in your neighborhood
That is some kind of sexual deviant rape
incest
Child molestation whatever whatever and it gives all their information now back to what I started speaking about
Know who you have around you?
It's okay. You don't have to tell somebody like I did well. I'm gonna look your butt up. Just do it
You have somebody and you just met them. It's okay to get their full name get their government name get their birthday
type it in it's free
Family watchdog dot us is a free site use it you can go to your
I live in Florida I can go to Florida Florida prison
Calm or something like that just type in
Florida prisons. It'll tell me if that person's been a prisoner in Florida and what they did it's free
There are no excuses this day and age to say oh, I didn't know they did this this this this
Yeah, there's no excuses even the jail systems if you go to your sheriff's office or your jail type it in your browser
It'll show you if that person's been locked up over the last year and what they did it's free
It's free and guess what else you can find out if they're married
If they're married you can find out all kinds of stuff about people
It's it's kind of scary at the same time I put in my name
And of course it brought up that I'm an author and it brought up all my social media
But if you well, I'm not gonna say it's scary the things you can
Absertain from putting in somebody's name in social media this day in age. It's really really scary
So I'm grateful we live in a gated community
But I'm also grateful that I don't cause any problems and I don't think anybody has any beef with me
People might not like me, but nobody has beef with me and there's a huge difference
But do your homework there are too many
Just too many applications out there you can use for free to find out who you're dating
Who you're letting and not even dating even your friends these days can be crazy
Who your friends are you you got a new friend?
You got a new friend and you wonder why this friend all of a sudden wants to spend all their quality time with you
They might be crazy
Or they just might be lonely
But take the time to find out
Put them in social media. We don't think about our friends, you know
Alright, I got a new friend
Devin she's my new friend. You don't think that Devin might be the single white female single black female
She she's all of a sudden trying to be you
Dress them like you to uncut her hair like you and you're like what the heck is going on
He looks devin up and find out she served ten years in prison for killing her last best friend. You just never know
And there's nothing wrong with finding out
Before you share your personal information. I'm saying this y'all for safety reasons
I'm part of the human trafficking coalition. I've heard the stories of females
Befriending a female thinking that their new besties just for that person to really be setting them up
I'm part of the homeless coalition where I've seen people homeless because they've allowed somebody to move in their house next thing
You know they're on the street and that person is taking over their home legally I
Just see so much and I just want you guys to be safe
Do the right thing for you and you don't have to tell somebody what moves you're making just do it like Nike do it
and
Know how much you're worth?
Know how much you're worth? Do your due diligence a new date a new friend
People all of a sudden just wanting to come over all the time and they seem to have nothing but time on their hand
There's nothing wrong with looking into it
There's nothing wrong with looking into it. All right, be safe
This is your girl sang in McQueen
Your mind your body it's your choice. This is your life
Live it full of purpose love and life, but don't let anybody come in it and hurt you
And if you have kids protect them you can hit me up at Sonya
M at ledbymotivation.com or led by motivation 0 7 at gmail.com
I have like 12 requests for shows
Some are with other people and some will not be I actually reached out to three people I did
And one turned me down and it's okay. I love honesty. Don't say you want to do my show and then you go ghost on me
That's just silly
And then to you're gonna love these shows and of course I'm gonna once again
I'm going to interview dearests again because
It has been requested. All right. Have a great day on purpose and be purposeful
For the love and affection and time you give to other people