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Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with

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Your mind your body your choice

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So I want to speak to you today about who you have around

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You and your children if you have children, you know this day in age

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social media so prevalent and

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Dating people without really knowing them first, you know, it's it's not a big deal anymore

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I I'll even admit I met my husband on a dating app

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and

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I am the type of person I honestly feel as though for me

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It was a better choice than going out and meeting people because if I go out and meet somebody

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They have the opportunity to follow me. I'm gonna get their number. They're gonna get my number

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we're gonna speak speak immediately and

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Talk to each other

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But if I meet you on social media and you give me your name and all that I have the opportunity to look you up

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Before I ever give you my phone number give you any information about me and before I met my husband

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You know, I had been out with a few guys. I

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Made it clear this is gonna sound horrible

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But I had just moved to Florida and I didn't know anybody and I made it clear. I wasn't looking to date

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I just wanted to hang out and I said I didn't care if it was a man or a woman who replied because I don't want to date

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I just want somebody to do things with go to the movies or go out to eat or a

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concert or something and

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People will respond but after a couple of times y'all have outings that they want more and I wasn't trying to give more so anyway

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That's how I met my husband and we had the opportunity to speak via social media

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before we went on a date and then the rest is history but

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People will quickly quickly move somebody in their home

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You know, it's a morning

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It's a red flag when you've been dating somebody two weeks and they're talking about they love you and

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Maybe we should move in together. That's a red flag. It's a red flag if they do it in a month

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It's just a red flag and these are things you should look at but

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Sometimes even what people you're putting in quality time they could

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Switch up on you so fast and you don't know where it's coming from, you know, maybe the the guy who

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becomes possessive

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after you become committed and

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You know now they don't want you doing this they don't want you doing that they might become violent the girl who

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Just starts popping up everywhere. She's at your job now because she don't believe you're really at work and she's scratching your car

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She's doing you just never know

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So you got to put in your homework and get to know the people around you, but especially

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when you have kids

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Especially you don't see things all that prevalent and important while you're dating somebody. That's you

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but if you have kids it is

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Extremely important that you do your homework look at the headlines these days and see how many people kill

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Kids

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You know kill their own kids, you know the lady who drowned her own kids because her boyfriend

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Didn't like kids the man who let his girlfriend talk him into getting rid of his

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son because she didn't want to raise somebody else's kid

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It's crazy

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But it's crazy are the people who come into your home and you go to work

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And you leave your kids with them and next thing you know, you don't have kids anymore

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This is a really important podcast you guys because

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Our kids are worth it. They're worth the extra time to get to know somebody. They're worth it

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Don't be so desperate that you throw yourself to the wolves and don't be so desperate that you throw your kids to me there

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I'm gonna tell you a true story and the reason this podcast came up today is because it just something my husband and I seen on

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court TV

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This guy was dating this girl and he broke up with her and just the thing she did pouring sugar in his tank wrote all on his car

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poured just crazy, but I

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Was dating this guy and I think I spoke about this before and I really really like this guy and

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We've been dating a few months and I decided you know what I like him and I'm going to

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Introduce him to my kids. I'm gonna invite him over for dinner

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So one night we had went out on a date. He took me out to eat and I think we went to the movies or something and I

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Told him I said, you know what I know you've been wanting to

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Meet my girls so I think I'm gonna introduce you to my girls and he was a static. He was just elated

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But then I said the first time I look you up

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I'm gonna check your background see what I could find make sure you're okay

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And of course as the night went on his demeanor changed a little bit

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I didn't pick up on it at first, but then he said to me

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I want you to know when you look me up. You're gonna find something. I thought all hell here we go

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So he proceeds to tell me a story about how

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His daughter had this fast 13 year old friend and

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How the friend used to flirt with him all the time call him green eyes because he had green eyes and just tell him

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How handsome he was all the time and he'd be like this fast little girl this little girl

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But then him and his wife were having problems. They were on the verge of getting a divorce and yaya yaya yaya

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Yeah, and how the girl came over one day and he was listening to music

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He told her my daughter's upstairs. He goes into the southern room

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She follows up and she's still telling them just how handsome he is and she pulls up her shirt exposing her breast

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And he says in this moment, you know being shunned by his wife and in this moment

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He went and touched the girl's breast

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But then he caught himself and he was like hey, you know, you got to go so on and so forth

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But the girl tells somebody and that somebody tells the parents and the parents tell the police and

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now he is

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On register a pedophile

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While he's saying all this all I know is you're gonna take me home dude

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And that's what I had him do take me home

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Of course, I was not going to see him anymore. Of course. I wasn't gonna introduce him to my daughters

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Because no matter what his story was all I heard was I touched this 13 year old girl's breast. I

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Don't care what you were going through with your wife

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That lets me know if the story you even told is true if that girl would have done more

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She would have came over and your daughter wasn't home

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You would have went for it because you're weak and I

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I had a 13 year old daughter or 12 year old at the time and and yeah, whatever I didn't want to hear it

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I didn't care

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So as time went on, you know, I had moved in one day. He sends me a text message saying

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You know, he had been texting me and I was ignoring I'm ignoring I'm ignoring them telling them to

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Go away and not so kind words and one day he texts me and said

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Tweet who is my youngest daughter looks so cute today?

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and

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He described what she had on

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And for a second I had fear and I was thinking this man is stalking me

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He's stalking me and he's watching my child

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But that fear quickly went to anger

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I was talking to my best friend on the phone. I was telling her I'm gonna kill him

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I saw like a dude and you know, she's talking me down talking me down because of course, I don't have a middle

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Back then I was either happy or I was mad. I was mad

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So what did I do? I?

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Have a friend named Billy and some of y'all know who Billy is but Billy used to live in my trunk all the time. He's a bat a

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heavy

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mini bat and

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So I went on and and I had a gun

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But I went on to his house one day. I just decided you know what was good food the goose is better for the gender

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And when he got ready to pull up, I'm sitting on his stoop

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With Billy I

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Don't think I have my gun. I think I had Billy

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And he sees me and I guess he thought about it for a second and he backed up

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So I stood up and put my hands up like where you going?

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Where you going?

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He backs out of his own driveway and he drives off

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Well, he comes back a few minutes later, and I'm not on the stoop anymore. I'm sitting on his other car

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still waiting on him

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You know I have this you won't defeat me attitude

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Now did I handle it right heck? No y'all don't follow in my footsteps, but I handled it my way at the time

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at the time and

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of course

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He gets ready to back out again, and I'm yelling something to him

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Point is

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My friend calls me and I'm talking to her on the phone and she she talks me down a little bit

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I leave I leave but I never ever ever

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heard from him again surprisingly

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You know I turned the tables on them

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You thought you were gonna stalk me and scare me and and and put fear in me

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But all you did was piss me off

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And now I'm gonna give it back to you

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That worked in my favor he might not work in somebody else's favor so once again

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I suggest you not be as silly as I was but my whole point was

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three months in I

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Thought I knew this person and I didn't I

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Didn't he's a pedophile looked him up after he told me of course and yeah, he's a registered pedophile

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With the state he can't move without them knowing it gave his full name his address if you go to something this called

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Watchdog watchdog. I'm gonna look it up while I'm talking to you guys, but if you go there and

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even put in your

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Area you in your area code or where you live it'll show you every sexual predator

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Within a radius of where you live

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Every single one of them it'll tell you their name their offense their address where they live

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Who their family members are they don't play and I love it

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It's actually called family watchdog dot us write that down and no matter where you go do it now

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Because I'm gonna tell you first time I heard about this. I was at work

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2004 and

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A co-worker was saying something about it and I said what are you talking about?

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She said oh my god is this thing you put in your address and it tells you every sexual predator who lives around you

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And I said what are you serious? So we walk over to my desk

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She tells me family watchdog. I type it in I put in my address and I see red and I see green and I see

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I'm like, okay. This is crazy

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So I put in you know, I click on one of the dots I click on one of the dots and

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It is actually my daycare and I look the daycare. It's one of those home daycares

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She actually had

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X offenders people who just separated from prison

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She also doubled as a place they could stay for X amount of time. I didn't even know that I

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Didn't even know that this is just the daycare. I knew her I had known her for a couple of years

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I knew her daughter and I trusted her because she was on record a daycare. I

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Left work and went straight to her house. I I didn't say nothing to anybody

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I jumped in my car and left I knew my child was there and I knew she had a sexual predator in that house and

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I knocked on the door. She opened the door and I lost my mind on her and y'all gotta understand something about me

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I don't yell my voice doesn't go much higher than it is now unless I'm laughing then it's kind of high

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But I don't yell and the matter I am the softer and lower I speak

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And I let her know under any

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circumstances

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If I find out this person's even talk to my daughter, I would be back

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and ever since then I have

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put addresses in

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Family watchdog dot us to know where I'm living and who's living around me

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And I've been blessed enough to live in neighborhoods where the nearest sexual predator is miles and miles away

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You know, it shows you when they live where they live

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Just look it up putting your own address if you've never done it before family watchdog dot us and see who lives in your neighborhood

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That is some kind of sexual deviant rape

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incest

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Child molestation whatever whatever and it gives all their information now back to what I started speaking about

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Know who you have around you?

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It's okay. You don't have to tell somebody like I did well. I'm gonna look your butt up. Just do it

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You have somebody and you just met them. It's okay to get their full name get their government name get their birthday

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type it in it's free

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Family watchdog dot us is a free site use it you can go to your

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I live in Florida I can go to Florida Florida prison

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Calm or something like that just type in

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Florida prisons. It'll tell me if that person's been a prisoner in Florida and what they did it's free

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There are no excuses this day and age to say oh, I didn't know they did this this this this

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Yeah, there's no excuses even the jail systems if you go to your sheriff's office or your jail type it in your browser

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It'll show you if that person's been locked up over the last year and what they did it's free

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It's free and guess what else you can find out if they're married

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If they're married you can find out all kinds of stuff about people

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It's it's kind of scary at the same time I put in my name

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And of course it brought up that I'm an author and it brought up all my social media

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But if you well, I'm not gonna say it's scary the things you can

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Absertain from putting in somebody's name in social media this day in age. It's really really scary

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So I'm grateful we live in a gated community

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But I'm also grateful that I don't cause any problems and I don't think anybody has any beef with me

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People might not like me, but nobody has beef with me and there's a huge difference

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But do your homework there are too many

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Just too many applications out there you can use for free to find out who you're dating

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Who you're letting and not even dating even your friends these days can be crazy

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Who your friends are you you got a new friend?

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You got a new friend and you wonder why this friend all of a sudden wants to spend all their quality time with you

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They might be crazy

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Or they just might be lonely

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But take the time to find out

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Put them in social media. We don't think about our friends, you know

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Alright, I got a new friend

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Devin she's my new friend. You don't think that Devin might be the single white female single black female

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She she's all of a sudden trying to be you

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Dress them like you to uncut her hair like you and you're like what the heck is going on

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He looks devin up and find out she served ten years in prison for killing her last best friend. You just never know

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And there's nothing wrong with finding out

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Before you share your personal information. I'm saying this y'all for safety reasons

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I'm part of the human trafficking coalition. I've heard the stories of females

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Befriending a female thinking that their new besties just for that person to really be setting them up

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I'm part of the homeless coalition where I've seen people homeless because they've allowed somebody to move in their house next thing

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You know they're on the street and that person is taking over their home legally I

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Just see so much and I just want you guys to be safe

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Do the right thing for you and you don't have to tell somebody what moves you're making just do it like Nike do it

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and

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Know how much you're worth?

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Know how much you're worth? Do your due diligence a new date a new friend

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People all of a sudden just wanting to come over all the time and they seem to have nothing but time on their hand

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There's nothing wrong with looking into it

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There's nothing wrong with looking into it. All right, be safe

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This is your girl sang in McQueen

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Your mind your body it's your choice. This is your life

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Live it full of purpose love and life, but don't let anybody come in it and hurt you

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And if you have kids protect them you can hit me up at Sonya

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M at ledbymotivation.com or led by motivation 0 7 at gmail.com

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I have like 12 requests for shows

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Some are with other people and some will not be I actually reached out to three people I did

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And one turned me down and it's okay. I love honesty. Don't say you want to do my show and then you go ghost on me

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That's just silly

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And then to you're gonna love these shows and of course I'm gonna once again

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I'm going to interview dearests again because

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It has been requested. All right. Have a great day on purpose and be purposeful

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For the love and affection and time you give to other people