Good morning, good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with It's Your Life. What are you doing with it?
I have an amazing interview today. I promised you guys more interviews and there's no other way for me to come out the gates, but swinging hard.
And just bringing this love interview to you today.
De'Aries.
Yes ma'am.
Am I saying your name correctly?
Yes you are.
I am so excited. I told you when I spoke to you on the phone, this is an exciting moment for me.
And I honestly don't remember what I said I was going to ask you. I told you I'm like that. I'm a little scatterbrained. So if you don't mind, we're just going to let it flow for a second.
Sure. So, first I'd like to say thank you for having me on and giving me this opportunity to voice what I went through and my journey to recovery.
Absolutely. How old are you?
I'm 36.
You're 36. Okay. And there are a couple of things I do want to speak to you about. I can't forget I want to speak to you about your coloring book and your book.
But I want to start off by telling me just give me a little background before your accident. What you were doing pre accident. What were you doing with yourself.
So, I just graduated college.
I graduated college a year to the day of my accident. I graduated college at Life University in Atlanta, Georgia.
And after that, I actually moved down where you're at now Miami for a while.
And I came on home back here to Wichita, Kansas. And, you know, I newly grad, you're still trying to figure it out. You know, so I was, I was working, you know, full time and, you know, I had all these, you know, big dreams and amazing things that you know I wanted to do and
I always, you know, got a little bit on the back burner as far as, you know, I happen to deal with everything that I went through.
Understood. And for the listening audience, if I pronounce anything wrong, just correct me. I don't get in my feelings, but you're now a quadriplegic.
Yes.
Okay. Can you just tell the audience what happened.
So, if I can just tell like the full story of whatever you want to tell.
Okay, what happened and then sometimes I'll maybe pivot and then give a little back story on, you know, what I'm speaking about.
So, the summer of July 2013.
I was at an after hours gathering.
And it was upwards to maybe over 100 people there and it was, it was a big crowd.
And a lot of people know here what to talk, big crowds usually don't go so well here.
And it was, it was crazy because I was there with friends of mine and my cousin was there and, and I remember, you know, everyone was having a good time.
And I just, I turned to him and I said, can you believe all these people are here and there's no problems.
And as soon as I said that gunshots bring up.
And I got in a running position, which later I found out is the worst thing you could do. If you're gunshots.
What you're going to do is just get all the way down flat to the ground.
Needless to say I was struck in my back.
The bullet traveled in a straight line and exited out of my neck.
By people were shot that night.
And another person were the most critical. And so they took us to the nearest hospital, which was safe for instance here.
And which saw and he had two doctors working on him.
And I had two doctors working on me.
And unfortunately, he didn't make it.
And those two doctors that were working on him, they actually came over and I had four doctors working on me to save my life.
I wasn't in good shape.
They actually called the chaplain.
And I told my family to give my parents in order.
Because it was highly unlikely that would make through the bank.
Let me ask you a question. Let me before you go. Was the shooting coming from inside the party, the people who were there? Or was it like somebody outside of the hundred plus group?
So it was someone outside.
I really don't get into the logistics of who or why it happened.
I kind of have this mindset of like, forgive and forget, you know, it's the easiest way to, you know, to get past all the trauma.
So, yeah, so, you know, I was bleeding on the ground for for almost like 30 minutes before the ambulance even arrived.
And so I had so much blood that they really didn't know how many times I was shot or if I had internal bleeding.
So, you know, they actually opened my chest all the way up.
And, and, yeah, it was a, it was, it was surreal.
I remember I woke up out of a medical induced coma.
And my mom was sitting right there next to me.
And I looked over to her and, you know, I had this tube in my neck because the bullet had clipped by right lung.
And it came out my neck.
So I wasn't breathing on my own. I was actually on a ventilator.
So I had this straight tube inside my neck so I couldn't speak verbally.
But I remember looking at my mom.
And, you know, I kind of mouth to her, you know, like, what happened, you know, because I couldn't really remember what had happened.
And she said, son, you were, you were shot.
And I'm looking at her and I'm laying in this hospital and I'm just like, you know, I couldn't believe, you know, what she was telling me.
And so I remember I, I'm out to her like, well, how long am I going to be like this?
And it still talks about today. She, she started crying. She said, son, it's going to be a long journey.
And I just remember putting my head back in and the tears just started rolling, you know.
And yeah, so that was the beginning of this long and, you know, under sturdy that I've been on.
And, you know, a lot of things, a lot of things really went how they were supposed to for me to survive.
I mean, even if I could back pedal a little bit before I was, you know, shot, I was working at this place.
It was called Birch Rock Simon.
And, you know, I'm 26 years old.
You know, I think I was strong as ox, you know.
And my manager was like, you know, fill out these insurance papers and I was like, no, get back, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't need any insurance.
And month went by and he called me in the office and it's a funny story because I actually thought I was in trouble.
You know, he called me on the American said, there's, you know, I've come to the office and so I went in there and he said sit down.
So I sit down.
And he's like, sign his papers.
He's like, it's your insurance.
Sign the freaking papers.
I'll say that nicely.
And so I signed those papers and I got shot a month later after signing these papers.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, so thank God I had insurance.
I had insurance and I got it. You know, it really helped me out a lot. And I have to give food to first off assignment, the order J story, because he actually let me keep my premium through this whole process.
So, oh, wow.
Yeah, so I mean, I still had to pay the premium but I got to keep one insurance, you know.
Look at that blessing when you were telling the first part of this story, you said you looked over at your mom and you couldn't speak because you had a tube in your neck.
How long were you unable to speak.
So, for seven and a half years.
I was on a ventilator.
And I couldn't speak.
I was, you kind of get used to making noises. I used to do this, this noise with my lips.
Are you know, to get people's attention and we still do that sometimes the life of each other.
You know, because we're able to do that now, you know, and, you know, you know, I'd have to, you know, try to not to eight.
But no words will come out. So I was literally no mouth in it. And I tell you what, you try to tell a joke and people can't hear you.
It's third time it's not putting no more.
Yeah, so that was another blessing, you know, to be able to get off the train.
That the doctors actually told me I would I would never get off the elevator.
Because of where the bullet exit my neck.
There's a major nerve in there it's called the credit nerve. And it actually controls your diaphragm.
And with me only have a one lung.
And my credit nerve being damaged.
I couldn't really read my own.
But I didn't I didn't let that detour me from, you know, seeking out other professionals, you know, and we did tons of tests.
And every test came back negative.
My nerve wasn't working.
And I couldn't get off.
And, believe it or not, Sonia, one day I got really frustrated.
And I just took that to law.
And I kid you not, it was literally almost like an hour with my and I was breathing.
And that was the first day that I knew that I was going to get off that train.
You took it off all by yourself. You just took it out.
I took it out all by myself.
So it's like a so so that the ventilator is connected to this two bit is implanted in your neck.
And you get cough.
And you know, we all have secretions that, you know, we are, we cough out, you know, that's right.
So what that ventilator, you're unable to cough. Because you have a balloon that's blown up inside a cup.
So, you know, you have to get suction.
And I remember, I remember how scared I used to be because I couldn't call the nurse when I was first in the hospital.
And I could barely move my arms. So I couldn't eat the button.
And I nearly could not breathe and until they would come suction, you know, and, oh man, it was, it was, it was frightening.
Yeah.
You know, I, I heard about you through one of my closest friends and as soon as she told me about you, she said, so I'm going to ask him, is it okay for you to interview him for your show?
I was like, please let him say yes, please let us say that.
I was so thrilled when you said yes, but you said something really profound a moment ago. You said when I asked you, did the shooting come from inside or outside the party? You said outside, but I really don't get into that because I choose to forgive and forget.
That is such a strong phrase for me because I talk quite often about forgiving and how hard it is for us to forgive. And then I'll say things like, you know, I'm learning to forgive people.
I'm learning to forgive people, but for you to say that I really want the listeners to understand how just godly that is, how that is the way we're supposed to live, but it is so hard for some of us.
And we can hear your story and the things we won't forgive are so minute.
They're so tiny. They're so small and we want to hold these grudges and be mad at people and not talk to people and wish them harm or whatever.
And here it is, some stranger shooting Wally, you get hit.
You can't speak for seven and a half years. You're in the hospital, you're quadriplegic and you said, I choose to forgive.
Yeah, you really can't start yelling and tell you forgive.
That's really the first step in your healing process because if you don't, it'll just eat you alive.
But that was something, you know, at first, it was hard for me. Everyone goes through stages of grieving, you know.
You get mad and you get angry and you wonder why me and you get sad and depressed, but once you make up your mind to forgive and to start letting again,
that's when the rush recovery really begins.
I love that. I absolutely love that. That's when the recovery begins when you choose to forgive so profound.
And you were so young, 26, I guess I didn't think, I didn't put the numbers together quick enough in my head until you said 2013.
I'm like, oh my gosh. Yeah, I just had my 10 year anniversary, July 13, 2013.
2023. So, yep, I just had my 10 year anniversary. That's not even half of the story, Sonny.
Sonny, you know, they, I was just, I was pretty much just dying here in Wichita and that hospital room.
And they told me, you know, you need to get out of this hospital room and you need to go to rehabilitation center.
You know, you need to start rehab and you can't just, you know, you don't just went away here, you know, and the closest one, the closest body court in a rehabilitation center to Wichita is in Nebraska.
But me and my mom, which she, I gotta give thanks to my mom, she literally has stopped everything I like to take care of me.
And Sonny, such a strong woman. I'll talk about staying in the hospital with me, you know, sleeping there. She was a big part and my whole family and my friends were a big part, you know, of this journey I've been on.
But we didn't, we didn't know anyone in Nebraska. And, you know, and we asked, you know, like, where are some other places. And they said there is a really good one. It's actually the number one spot for rehabilitation center in the United States.
It's called the Shepherd Center. And they're based out of Atlanta, Georgia. And we have family, my aunt and my two cousins, and they live down in Atlanta.
And so we knew that was the spot for us to go.
And the problem was, I have this wound back on my chest. My chest is open. I have this ventilator in my throat, you know, with the trait.
And, you know, how are we going to get down there, you know.
And what I say things aligned for me, I mean, they really did. My mom, her best friend, my aunt Tonya, she actually worked for a company called Flight Safety.
They do all the medical trend transport via flight. And my job, it actually raised $2,500. And then the owners matched that. So I had $5,000.
And it costs $10,000 to fly to Atlanta. You know, we just didn't have the money.
And my aunt told her job. And they said, give us the $5,000 and we'll match that $5,000 and we'll send it into Atlanta.
Okay, God. Yeah, it was, I'm pretty serious to buy some eyes today to talk about this, you know, just because of all the amazing days that happened and all the amazing people, you know, that, you know, were there for me.
And, you know, Sonia, when I was here in the hospital, they wouldn't allow me to eat or drink orally. I had a feed in June and we took, we laughed about this too because I just wanted water so bad.
And every time someone come in my room, so my mom will leave, I'm like, give me some water.
And no one would give me water. I used to get so angry. I was like, why would they not give me water?
Well, the thing is, if you have a trait, they're scared you're going to aspirate. And we did all the tests here, you know, the swallowing tests, you know, with the grapefruit juice and they follow it and see where it goes.
And every time I did that test, I fell. And that first day, when I got to Atlanta, within two hours, they gave me something to drink.
And that next day, I was eating sugar.
And it was the first, you know, positive day, you know, that I ever came, you know, that really brought joy to me, you know.
Oh, wow. But that doesn't even end it. You have so much positivity seeping out of you, just positive things you're doing and creating and manifesting.
I just, I don't know if this is going to be a one time interview.
I only have 40 minutes.
So I want to go into some of the greatness I know about. And that would be rolling pals and super Willie, please tell us about that.
Those.
So, I've been in the bed for the last nine months. Since December 22. I've been battling a pretty bad pressure sore that has went away and came back and I just been valid all year and you know, I'm stuck in the bed.
And I just, for me, I got to keep, you know, doing things. And I wanted to do something. I've always wanted to do something for kids who are, are in a wheelchair, like me, you know, because I just don't think that there's enough stuff out there for them, you know.
And so I came up with this whole idea to put, you know, fun, low animals, and their own habitat, but every single one of them are in wheelchairs.
And I create the rolling pals color for them. And super Willie followed. It's about a, not just one person, but a lot of people that are super Willie, who are heroes in my eyes, who are in wheelchairs that continue to do, you know,
amazing things. And it's a kids writing book, short story kids writing book, but it just talks about how, even though you're in a wheelchair, you know, you still can be a hero.
Absolutely. Absolutely. And you guys have got to go to Amazon. You have to go to Amazon. You have to go to Amazon.
And super Willie and rolling pals. And if you don't remember that, remember this, because as we're speaking, I had already ordered one set of both, but I'm ordering two more sets right now. It's under Ray Peterson.
Yes, my, my full name is actually the airs Ray Peterson. And so I chose, you know, the student name of Ray Peterson.
Yes. So, and you can see this very handsome young man on this page right here with this nice, nice smile when you go. So, what else are you working on if anything you're allowed to share. I don't want you to break any privileged information.
Yeah, so there's, there's one project that I've been working on for the last year. And so I'm a quadriplegic but I can move my arms, but I can't move my fingers.
So, I use this strap to eat with. And so I, I didn't really like the design of it. And so I've been a partner with a company out of Miami, called line design.
And we've been creating new eating strap. I call it the Swiss Army eating strap because it, it doesn't just fit forks or spoons you can actually put a toothbrush or a pen, or a back scratcher, you put more than just, you know, eating utensils in there.
So that's what I've been working on for the last year. It's almost done. I anticipate that it will probably be ready for start to end this year.
And I, you know, I was telling you when I had the pleasure of speaking with you the other day that it's really my life goal. I've said to my listeners plenty of times I've never, ever, ever prayed to be rich or how can I get a lot of money.
I've always prayed to help people. How can I help people. So, I actually decided at the beginning of this year to not work for anybody. I wanted to start a nonprofit to help the needy, the hurting, the homeless, whatever.
So, it is up my alley but I see so many people what I really see you doing is giving a voice to the hurting, because people will get they'll become stagnant.
And if something happens and they will not budge, they think that life is over and they are just so negative, and you are definitely not that person.
You're giving a positive voice to people and make them wake up and look at life for what it's worth, you know, and what it is, and it's a blessing every second of every day is a blessing.
You laugh so lightly.
I laughed so lightly and I told Paula the other day when I got fun with you I said girl I cried through half of that conversation.
I said he's such a positive, just a rate of sunshine and, you know, because this is my second time hearing most of your story I didn't hear most of that. I didn't cry today y'all but
it was the first time I was floored, and I was astounded and I was proud all rolled up at the same time. And it's just amazing you're doing things you got the coloring book you got the book you're trying to do more, you're creating stuff.
I want to give back, you know, I, and I end if I could, you know, pivot on what you said, I also want to give a voice, you know, I want people to know that there is still life after, you know, your accident.
No matter, you know, how bad it is, people out there are still doing some amazing stuff. You know, you have to do is believe.
Amen.
Amen. I've seen that you know I'm not really good with social media I'll try to post something but I'm not the type of person to go look at posts so I'm trying to purposely look at posts.
You know, for at least 10 minutes a day.
But there was one today and it's amazing this lady be her name is be Thomas I believe be address. She posted for parents to have a talk with their kids that let them know that there are all kinds of other kids.
You have some that have disabilities, some that have, you know, physical disabilities, mental disabilities, whatever it is.
Talk to your kids, so that they know how to love everybody and not be their love or their friendship of how you look, you know, and I loved that.
He's up to be to be honest with you. The color book was for people like me, but it also was for her kids who don't have disabilities to introduce them in a friendly manner, you know, two people with disabilities.
So I love that post I, I think she was definitely, you know, onto something with that one because, you know, a lot of kids they just, they don't know. And you know, and, you know, it's kind of hard to have that conversation with kids.
And so that's why I got a color book with animals and a wheelchair to be, you know, a friendly way of introducing them to someone that was not quite like them, you know, I absolutely love it.
I know that's one thing I did right. I raised my kids to be.
Everybody is you see them from the inside out. You see hearts before you see a look or before you see anything else.
Before you see anything else, you see somebody's heart and you love people for just simply being people.
And they are exactly like me when it comes to that they only see love.
They don't care who you are. If you have this disability or that disability, if your heart's right, they love you and that's all they see is love.
So I'm proud of that, but I do know I worked in a school for a couple of years in special education. So I absolutely know kids can be cruel to other kids.
So every parent listening to this, just please take a moment and talk to your kids just about all inclusivity and love and acceptance and just treating people like people and and and not paying attention to the other things and if they have friends who are silly kids
or kids, so I'm not going to call them anything but silly and immature kids or kids, you know, they don't have to follow that is it's actually kind of easy sometimes when you have a friend who's a bully or me to change them because once you out somebody's
personality they're embarrassed and they quickly often want to change that behavior. Is there anything else you want to share before I give a final word.
I just want everyone out there to respect others. Amen. And to always be the best person that they can be, no matter where they are, I'm with her around so I am second and third in that you guys and I say that actually often and it's also a reason I do some of the things I do.
I remember back in 2003, seeing somebody mistreating somebody just because they were homeless, and that's probably what really catapult my buying things for the homeless and keeping, you know, bringing water in my car and snacks and, you know, giving them out and when I lived in Virginia
I was giving out blankets and socks and I do all that out of my own pocket. I do not like to see people stare at. I don't like to see people mistreated.
I just have always hated things like that but I am so proud of you.
I have to praise you as well because the things that you've just told me about, you know, it's not easy, you know, doing those things or going out of your way when you have, you know, your own life, you know, to attend to but what you're doing is amazing and just giving
a voice, you know, it really does help, you know, so I got to praise you. Thank you for all the support and I appreciate it.
Didn't I already tell you I haven't cried. Don't make me so much. I just, I just want to love people just where they stand just just where they stand so I told you I have all kinds of friends I was telling you I have a friend.
Well, one friend she had both of her lights amputated and another friend, some guy, you know, tried to take her away from us and she had both her legs and arms cut off, but both of them, they will give you hail and
dearly actually one I've lost contact with but the other one they drive they eat whatever so and they were my friends so people are brilliant you know you you know that the number one thing I really get a lot is that
you know if I was in your situation I don't think I could handle it. You never know what you can handle when your back is full.
Absolutely. I'm sure you would you would do the same thing I'm doing you know, so I try to get people credit for when I can.
And I absolutely know I would do the same thing your mom is doing your kids boy.
Oh yeah, I give up everything for your kids. Yeah I have a 20 year old son, Colin and 18 year old daughter and Giada and a new grand baby.
Three months tomorrow so.
Oh, wow.
And, uh, pop all.
I know the grand baby is amazing because the grand baby is a Virgo. So, that's all I gotta say.
In this, I already know I'm going to be asking for another interview, but I love that I said.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, resilient and yes you never know what God will never put more on you than you can bear and don't take things as a step back take it as a step up a step up to help other people a step up to learn a step up just to be a better version of yourself.
Just love people for who they are where they stand where they are the same way you want to be loved.
I appreciate you so much the areas and I promise you, I'll probably have you back in a couple of weeks.
Anytime you need me.
I'm here. I still got tons of stories to tell you.
And I can't wait.
I appreciate you having me on.