1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,920 Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sangyama Queen with it's your life. What are you doing with it? 2 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:12,860 I want to talk to you about everything being new on 3 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,420 You in you around you just everything new 4 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:22,320 I think Tye Tribbett sings a song called everything new and 5 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:28,560 while I was thinking of this podcast this morning the song just kept going through my mind, but 6 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:35,640 You know we live in a world now you guys where everything's a cookie cutter. There's no original ality anymore 7 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,760 reality TV and and 8 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:48,280 These these videos I guess these I don't watch videos anymore, but these rappers and these singers and 9 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,960 These dancers 10 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,480 People watch this and that's who they want to emulate 11 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:59,000 That's who they want to be with so now you have a host of 12 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:05,880 12 13 year old girls who think that they are gonna need a fake butt a new nose 13 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,320 Higher cheekbones bigger breasts a smaller 14 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:15,440 Remove a rib so that my whole middle side can be smaller 15 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,840 I can have a 20 inch waist, but I can have 40 inch hips 16 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:25,400 You know you have a host of of young men who now think they're supposed to have these 17 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:31,280 Freeform dreads or they got to be this great soccer player 18 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:36,480 They're they're pushing themselves to limit to be like the people they see on TV 19 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,880 Like the people that their friends are emulating 20 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:46,680 What happened to the day when our kids just wanted to be like us? 21 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:51,200 They wanted to be like us and we prayed for them to be like us just better versions 22 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:56,600 Just better versions make more money. Don't make the mistakes we make 23 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:02,280 But you look at social media now you have parents with these young kids 24 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:08,360 Doing all the wrong things and having their kids right in tow with them. How many videos have I seen? 25 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:12,440 So I could just imagine how many you seen because I suck at social media a 26 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:16,280 parent videotaping their kids cursing and 27 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,040 and 28 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:24,480 Doing these things with their kids and they think it's fun and funny because the parents have now become 29 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,240 their kids best friends 30 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,680 You have parents getting on school buses beating up other kids 31 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:36,600 Because they disrespected their child or their child gets their butt whipped 32 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:41,600 This the cuffs you've got I mean fist the cuffs you got fist on fist hand on hand 33 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:49,120 But now the parents mad and she's at the bus stopper. She's at the school dragging a kid or trying to beat up teachers 34 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,200 That's what we're showing our kids now 35 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,360 Violence is the best answer 36 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,120 You know, I used to always say I see these videos boy 37 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:09,160 I'm so grateful that didn't happen when my kids were in school because I probably will still be in prison today 38 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:14,680 And I absolutely mean that you're not gonna come and put your hands on my kid 39 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:20,560 It's just a crazy world. We live in now the kids want to 40 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,600 You got Kim Kardashian 41 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:30,280 Who was already naturally beautiful, but she's done all this body working whoever 42 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,280 her surgeon is is 43 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:42,880 Amazing right her and her fleet sisters whatever they are and now you have all these kids wanting to be little miniature Kim Kardashian's 44 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,760 You know why because their mothers 45 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:54,840 emulate Kim Kardashian their siblings siblings you got the the Nicki Minaj is on the other side 46 00:03:54,840 --> 00:04:01,520 Who once again already naturally beautiful now she's had so much work done that she's talking about having it removed 47 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:06,640 I guess or some lady named black China who had so much work done 48 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,920 Now she's having it removed and there was a picture of her. I really don't know her 49 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:18,000 Before and after and I didn't even know it was a before and after I didn't know it was the same person 50 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,720 That's how much 51 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:26,440 People want to be so perfect, but they were given the memo 52 00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:29,720 There's no such thing as perfection on this earth 53 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:37,640 Embrace who you are right now you want to improve something improve your mind 54 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:44,600 Improve your mindset when you look at yourself and fall in love with what you see 55 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,960 Don't look at yourself 56 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:57,280 Don't look at somebody else and fall in love with what you see and decide that's what you want to look like now 57 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,760 I'm not knocking anybody who's had plastic surgery 58 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,840 Especially necessary plastic surgery, you know, sometimes 59 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:09,880 We're born or we have something going on that needs improvement 60 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:16,880 Or if you just really don't like yourself or what you see I would never tell somebody 61 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,920 I'll leave it alone leave it alone because I can't carry 62 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,840 What you're feeling about you? I might look at you and think man, you're beautiful 63 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:30,800 But you might look at yourself and see something totally different just like I'm not gonna really get into that 64 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:34,680 But I want to say just like a guy who looks at the mirror and sees a woman 65 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:41,760 You know, he's not happy with himself. They become suicidal a woman who looks at the mirror and sees herself as a man 66 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,200 She's not happy with herself if she can't change you she might become suicidal 67 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:53,400 I'm gonna leave that there though. I want to speak about people who just look in the mirror and they are totally unhappy and it 68 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,840 Depresses them. I'm not talking to you 69 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,600 I'm talking to the people who look at somebody else and 70 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:07,000 Decide whatever they have isn't good enough because they see everybody else copying that person 71 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:13,720 I call them cookie-cutters is getting to the point. I told my husband everybody I look at now looks the same on 72 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:18,240 TV on these reality shows. I'm like, oh, I thought that was such and such 73 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,740 Oh, I thought that was such because they all look alike 74 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:27,480 Their bodies all look the same their faces all go they're all going to the same plastic surgeons or something 75 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,400 It's to the point. I'm the outlier 76 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:36,960 My friends they're the outliers. We all look so different because we're uniquely ourselves 77 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,320 And we embrace it 78 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:45,200 We don't have the big buds but we have buds 79 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,640 We don't have the biggest boobs 80 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:54,920 We don't have these noses that people say are perfect our noses are perfect for us because it's what God blessed us with 81 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,480 This body this flawed body is perfect 82 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:05,960 Every stretch mark every scar every open pore in my face the one temple 83 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:10,360 The thin eyebrows the big eyes 84 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,480 It's all mine 85 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,520 And it's perfect 86 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:21,880 Yes, I used to look in the mirror and I didn't like this about myself and that and I still look at myself in the mirror 87 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:26,520 And I'm like man, I need to tone up. I need to work out harder. I need to do this and that but 88 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,160 When I stopped looking at myself in the mirror 89 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,680 I'm around a husband who's like you're beautiful. I 90 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:41,280 Have friends that don't put me down and say girl you ever think about doing something with those open pores on your face 91 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,120 They don't do that to me and I don't do that to them 92 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:52,680 Because we're impressed with each other's hearts and our hearts lead to the real beauty within us 93 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,440 The outside is superficial 94 00:07:55,440 --> 00:08:02,800 Yeah, I'm blessed to have beautiful friends on the inside and out and I would like to think the same of myself 95 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,720 You know, I was saying that 96 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:16,240 When my kids were younger, I did the best I could for the most part being a good parent, you know, I had quality time with my girls 97 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,240 We did stuff together 98 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:22,320 Weekends we had date nights. We had 99 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:28,240 Theme months we would take turns making up dances and teaching each other 100 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:33,600 We will have a whole week to make up a dance to a song and then we would go down in the 101 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:39,120 Basement the fun room and whoever's turn it was would have to teach the other ones 102 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,360 that dance 103 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,360 Snoop Dogg 104 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,240 Has sung out drop it like it's hot with some other people 105 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,200 And this was my favorite one 106 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:55,360 Not the one I did not the one my youngest did but my oldest daughter had to she made up. She didn't have to 107 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:59,840 That's the song she picked and she made up a dance and I still to this day 108 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:04,960 That was she's 32 now. She was probably 14 15. I don't know 109 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,720 That's still the dance. I remember in the song. So 110 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:13,280 I tried to make great memories with my kids but more than that 111 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,360 I showed them it's a great dance 112 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,360 I 113 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:23,440 Showed them it's okay to be just who you are. I would praise my kids 114 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,800 I would tell them how phenomenal they were 115 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:33,360 How intelligent they were how beautiful they are just the way they are and I would tell them 116 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,640 To compliment their friends 117 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:42,080 Leave their friends in a way where they've seen love loving relationships 118 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,560 Love people 119 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,560 Regardless of how other people felt about them 120 00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,560 Be individuals 121 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,160 And as you get older don't make the mistakes I made 122 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,280 Don't do the things I did 123 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:59,520 That got me in situations where I had to give up a child for adoption 124 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,720 Where I have three kids with three different fathers 125 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,120 Where I will fight and go to jail 126 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:13,680 Where I got caught stealing before stealing wasn't my thing. I tried to be a thief y'all and just didn't work out for me 127 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000 Don't ever lie 128 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:20,080 Honesty is the best measure even if it hurts you or the other person 129 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,040 Sometimes it's very hard to be honest, but it is 130 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:29,760 Important to be honest because when you get caught in one lie people think your life for the rest of your lives 131 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,360 I tried my best to be the best parent I could 132 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:39,600 I didn't knock myself and I never knocked my kids never called them out of their name never raised my voice 133 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,760 But they knew 134 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,760 I am your mama 135 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,480 I will knock you out at any moment 136 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,360 You get out of pocket. I just never had to 137 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,560 My voice 138 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,400 and my words 139 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:59,600 Were enough to keep my kids as straight as they wanted to be in front of my face 140 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,640 And I am proud to say that all my kids 141 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:10,240 Are a better version of what I was at their ages all of them 142 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:14,080 Even the one I didn't raise all of them 143 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:19,520 And I'm very proud of that none of them talk about going to get plastic surgery 144 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,000 My daughters 145 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,240 They're they know their worth 146 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,120 Is not their body 147 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:32,160 They're bad girls don't get me wrong. I have beautiful girls and I have a very handsome son 148 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,000 But they know they're real worth so they don't have to 149 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:44,240 Go under the knife and try to impress everybody else by looking like other people 150 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:50,720 They have all the features they were born with and grew naturally 151 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,920 They can go out in public without makeup 152 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,080 They don't need it 153 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,520 I'm proud to say they got that from me because I am not a makeup person 154 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,520 I work out 155 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:09,520 I try to take care of myself to the best of my ability 156 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:15,120 I don't wear weaves and there's nothing wrong with weaves. There's nothing wrong with changing up your look 157 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:19,600 There's nothing wrong with makeup. There is nothing wrong with wearing 158 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:26,960 What is that stuff called spanks and all that to look the best you can in your outfits and be sexy and nothing 159 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,680 at all 160 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:34,400 It's when you rely on those things you won't go out in public without it 161 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:40,480 You feel like you have to have those things and you have to have this and you have to have that or you won't 162 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,240 Be appreciated. That's where the problem falls 163 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:50,160 Because you're missing the point you got to be appreciated for what's in you 164 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,720 Not on the outside the outside can be lost at any moment 165 00:12:54,720 --> 00:13:00,640 There's this guy and I don't know his name, but he's a beautiful soul. He got burned up in the military really badly 166 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,720 Um third degree burns 167 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:08,960 On his entire head his face his arms his upper turture. So I'm not sure about his limbs 168 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,360 but um 169 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,080 He got married 170 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:19,600 He got married and I watched some of that on 171 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,760 online 172 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,880 And I cried of happiness 173 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:32,720 There's this lady who was in a terrible accident and she lost all her limbs. She lost both legs both arms 174 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:37,520 And um, she got married to a beautiful man 175 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,640 She got married 176 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,680 There's this lady 177 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,360 She was born 178 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:50,160 Blind and she has one leg y'all can look these up. I don't know their names though 179 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,160 but um 180 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,240 She got married 181 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,120 She got married to a wonderful man 182 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:02,720 And last example I want to give you is I was watching this show called 600 pound life with my husband 183 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:09,440 Had never seen it before and I was a little bit intrigued so I sat there and watched it 184 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,240 and 185 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,520 um 186 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,240 I think this lady was in her 800 pounds 187 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:22,400 Um, she was closer to 800 pounds and she was struggling with everything and um, she was married 188 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,640 To a beautiful guy who who absolutely adored and loved her 189 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,920 Even though she didn't look like that when he met her 190 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:36,160 I said all that to say y'all god made it to where there's somebody for everybody 191 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:42,400 No matter what you see somebody else looks at you and sees nothing but beauty 192 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:49,360 And that's because they learned the lesson you don't look on the outside you look at what's on the inside 193 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,920 Everything on you doesn't have to be new 194 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,920 Just fix your mind get a new mind 195 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,480 Think of yourself in a totally different way and whatever you do 196 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:07,840 Don't put yourself so high above other people that your feet never touched the ground 197 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:14,960 When you are full of yourself and all you think about is me me me II I don't think other people don't see it 198 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:24,000 Even if they don't say it but more than that you also need a new mindset 199 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,680 It goes both ways don't look at yourself and see 200 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,480 See and speak badly 201 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:40,000 And don't look at yourself and think that you are the best thing. Yeah. Yeah, like let me fix that 202 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:44,880 You can look at yourself and think I am the best thing going but don't put other people down 203 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,680 Look at them and say they the best thing going to 204 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,920 Don't put other people down to elevate yourself 205 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,960 That's just as bad as put yourself down 206 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:06,960 Know that this world can be full of a whole bunch of beautiful people 207 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:15,920 An entire flock of them have you ever met a person who was just so beautiful on the inside outside excuse me 208 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,560 But their inside didn't match 209 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,800 Nasty mean whatever 210 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:28,880 Those people are not happy and as much as they 211 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:36,800 Look you see them coming. You're like wow gorgeous people love to see them leave. They love to see them walk right on by 212 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:44,320 Because people start to miss that out of beauty. They don't even recognize it because your inside is so screwed up 213 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,880 You need it to be new 214 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,360 You need it to be new 215 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,560 Don't worry so much. Don't be so superficial 216 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,360 and think that you have to have 217 00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:00,480 This perfect body this perfect face this perfect hair 218 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:06,240 And so now you catch yourself spending hundreds of thousands tens of thousands thousands 219 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:11,200 Of dollars to fix it. Don't feel like you have to go outside with makeup on 220 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:17,200 You have to keep because what happens is you fool yourself into thinking and believing that's what you need 221 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:22,720 If y'all hear that in the background, please excuse it. The long people are out here claiming 222 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,120 our logs 223 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:29,840 What I need for you to do if you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't 224 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:37,200 See anything positive all you're thinking about is what you need to change and what you don't like about yourself 225 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,760 write it down 226 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,320 and then write how many of those things you can fix by 227 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,120 exercising or 228 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:48,240 wearing different clothes, you know, this is 229 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,440 serious and honest 230 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:55,760 So I was looking at myself in the mirror one day and I was like, why do I have a muffin top? 231 00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:01,760 Why do I have a muffin top in all these clothes? Why? 232 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:08,960 I can't stand this muffin top thing. So, you know, I started doing more setups and more side bends and push ups 233 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,960 This is a while ago 234 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,120 and 235 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:16,080 And then I realized all I had to do 236 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:22,480 Was stop dying low rise pants. That was it was simple as that it took me a while 237 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,520 But my pants would just come over my behind 238 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,760 And that's why I wear them. So I started wearing pants that came over 239 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,320 My sides, you know over my belly button 240 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:41,920 Solved the problem. So no more muffin top and I'm saying that even though I'm smiling when I say it 241 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,520 I'm saying it to say sometimes they're simple fixes 242 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,720 Sometimes they're so simple 243 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,280 Exercise eat better eat different if it's a weight thing 244 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,840 If it's a hair thing 245 00:18:55,840 --> 00:19:00,240 Go figure out like let's say you have alopecia that you can't help that 246 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,800 You can't help that 247 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:07,280 And alopecia is not just in the scalp, but you know, most people it's a hair thing 248 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:15,040 Go figure out what you can do where we do something, but don't knock yourself over it. I have a friend. She is ballheading 249 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,080 On purpose 250 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,720 On purpose 251 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,280 And it looks good on her 252 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,080 It looks good on her 253 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,080 You know, my one of my favorite things about me is my hair 254 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:37,440 I don't you know wear weeds or wigs or or extensions and once again, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that as a matter of fact 255 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:42,320 I'm constantly saying I'm going to start because I want to change my look 256 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:47,600 There's nothing wrong with that. I just want to change up sometime and I don't want to 257 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:52,400 Always have to put heat or something in my hair to change my look 258 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:57,200 But what I'll do every January I cut off my hair 259 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,760 To about two maybe three inches long 260 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:07,360 A couple of times I cut it even shorter maybe an inch, but every January I cut my hair short every January 261 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:14,160 Except the last January I decided, you know, why don't I do something different? I'ma let it grow 262 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:18,640 And I let my hair grow all the way down to my bra strap 263 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:24,880 And then I thought you know when I say bra, I mean the back the back part not the top not my shoulder 264 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,920 The back so I thought wow, okay. This is nice, but it's only nice when it's straight 265 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,640 When it's naturally current because I have naturally curly 266 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:36,560 Fick hair 267 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,160 It's heavy 268 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,600 It's heavy 269 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:47,600 And I caught myself constantly saying oh my gosh, this is so heavy and it's it's time consuming and this and that 270 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,640 And I started complaining about my hair 271 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,440 Complaining about my hair 272 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:59,040 Complaining about my hair. I just wasn't feeling my hair anymore. So I went to the shop and said 273 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:00,560 Cut it 274 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:03,360 It's too heavy. It's too this is too that 275 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:08,400 And Richard my putition looked at me and said darling 276 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:18,720 All you were talking about was growing your hair out so that your husband because I always say my husband loves my hair long and straight 277 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:24,640 But he doesn't care if I cut it. He is not like he complains. He just made that compliment so many times 278 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:31,200 I love your hair as long as straight. So I thought I'm gonna let it just grow long and wear it straight for a couple years. He said 279 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:36,560 Instead of taking the time to take care of it and being patient 280 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:42,720 You just want it to be xyz and he said a couple of things and I left that shop 281 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:49,760 With just the trim. I had him cut it to my shoulders, but I left with just the trim because he was right 282 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:55,200 I was finding every reason in the world to go and complain 283 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,680 About what god blessed me with which is thick 284 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,480 nice hair 285 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,360 Sometimes you start complaining too much you'll lose something 286 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:11,840 You guys if you want to get everything new start with the inside 287 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:17,360 If you start with your heart and your mind and your spirit and the way you see yourself 288 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,880 It'll be amazing 289 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:28,080 You'll find out that that bbl isn't necessary. I think it's got a bbl. If it's not don't attack me 290 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,080 You'll find out that those 291 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,240 Much bigger boobs aren't necessary. You'll find out that that nose job 292 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,360 Removing a rib getting the fake abs 293 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,920 getting 294 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,920 Yeah, that's a thing. That's a thing 295 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,720 Getting the fake calves getting the thigh implants 296 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:51,920 Getting the lips bigger and bigger and bigger. It's not necessary 297 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,640 It's not necessary. I've had 298 00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:59,120 breast augmentation 299 00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:01,360 For those of you who didn't know but 300 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:06,240 For those of you who didn't know but I was having issues my back was hurting 301 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:12,000 I was getting these horrible migraines. My neck was hurting and finally my doctor was like you're gonna have to have a 302 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,520 breast reduction 303 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,520 And I just didn't want to be cut 304 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:20,800 But I didn't want to have headaches anymore. So I had it and it was probably the best thing 305 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,280 I've ever done for myself 306 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:29,760 But once again, it was a necessity so I could have a better quality of life 307 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,080 And for you parents 308 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:39,120 Do not I repeat do not emulate 309 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,240 People outside of your family you want to impress somebody 310 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:49,760 Impress the people in your home. Those should be the people you're trying to impress 311 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:55,040 Don't let the cadashians impress your kids and you 312 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:58,800 Are impressed by them as well 313 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,800 don't let 314 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,600 All these stars and actresses and singers and famous people 315 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:11,200 Be who your kids want to emulate. They should want to emulate you 316 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:18,880 Don't sit down. I'm gonna say this and I'm a go. They're back in my backyard again. Um 317 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:26,000 I've said this story before but when I was in high school, I think I was a junior 318 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:30,400 I don't believe I was a senior yet had a really really good friend. We were very close 319 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,720 and 320 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,600 she used to smoke weed with her parents and 321 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:42,480 Um, she had an older sister her sister was married with kids and the husband and sister would come over and they'd all smoke together 322 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:50,160 They drank together, you know, they were allowed to curse. They were allowed to have sex in the house and I was honestly intrigued 323 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,880 By this family now 324 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:59,280 I had this girl who used to curse at her mom and I cut that friendship off. It was so disrespectful 325 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:01,920 Um, and the mom would put up with that 326 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:10,240 But this family they were so much loved. They would greet each other with kisses and hugs and I love yous and they would be smoking and 327 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:18,880 Um, never never they knew I wasn't into it never once did they try to pressure me to smoke offered at one time 328 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:24,400 I said no, thank you and never offered again ever. I didn't smoke. I didn't drink none of that 329 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,920 But I'm saying all this to say 330 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:34,480 They were an outlier, you know, that was the outlier all my other friends were respectful to their parents 331 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:41,840 We played outside. They weren't having sex. Well in high school a lot of the girls and boys were having sex 332 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,840 I take that back, but I'm just saying 333 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,360 The parents didn't know they were having sex. They were sneaking to do that 334 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,320 um, you know, whatever they did 335 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,080 Wrong, they tried to hide it from their parents 336 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,960 And they were like, what is this family? 337 00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,360 It's part of growing up, right? 338 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:04,720 I wasn't doing those kind of things growing up, but I did other things 339 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:06,480 Growing up 340 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,240 And some of it's funny. Some of it's not so funny, but 341 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,280 They were just 342 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,040 I don't know 343 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,840 You know, it was this family. I didn't have another friend like that 344 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:25,840 I was like, I wonder, wow, what drives them to want to do this stuff with their kids? 345 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,440 Even as a 16 year old girl, I used to wonder this, you know, why? 346 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:37,440 But at the same time, I love being over the house. I love to see the camaraderie and the love and I love that because I wasn't getting it 347 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:39,440 In my life 348 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,160 And I love being around it 349 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,600 And I must say nowadays 350 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:47,840 It's the opposite 351 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,840 You see that more 352 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,400 Than you see the kids 353 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:58,000 Trying to be the best kid and not be disrespectful and be loving and 354 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:04,240 At least from what I see now all the people I know their kids are grown 355 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,240 Their kids are grown so 356 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,040 They hopefully passed on 357 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,600 The the right way to parent 358 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:19,600 But now I'm seeing so many parents in the store with their kids. I just I was at the store the other day this girl 359 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,600 She couldn't have been no older than three 360 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,160 Honestly 361 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,600 The girl had a head full of weave in her head 362 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,160 With a bottle in her hand 363 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,800 And my heart broke 364 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,560 Mind my own business now, but my heart broke on the inside 365 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,200 All I was thinking about is how she's ruining that little girl's hair already 366 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,200 How crazy that looked to me 367 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,200 To me 368 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,600 There was a girl my guess is she was between 369 00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:54,400 Four and six another girl 370 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,600 Beautiful little girl. She looked like she might have been 371 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:06,400 Oh, she was just beautiful. She had these big beautiful brown eyes. She looked like she might have been Indian, right? 372 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,440 But she couldn't have been 373 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:15,600 But she couldn't have been but she looked like she might have been maybe European and Indian mixed anyway 374 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:20,640 Faceful of makeup and I thought oh, maybe she went to a competition 375 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,520 But then I seen her mom 376 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,240 And I thought wow 377 00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,240 This is horrible 378 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,960 This is horrible 379 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,160 You want to fix something you want everything to be new start with it 380 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,160 And if you have kids 381 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,160 And you've been idolizing 382 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,200 Beyonce's and 383 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,240 Kadasians and menages and 384 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,640 Tina snows and 385 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,680 All those people 386 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,840 Stop it 387 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,400 There are some great 388 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:06,000 People, yeah, I'm a big Kelly Clarkson fan. I'm a big Jennifer heart Hudson fan 389 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,000 Um 390 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:13,120 There are so many other people you can emulate from what you see but remember this 391 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:15,920 You don't know those people 392 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,160 You don't know those people 393 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,520 You only know what they want you to see 394 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:27,840 Everything new it starts within you. This went way longer than I expected it to 395 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:32,080 I think I got a little lost in there, but you guys got the just of it 396 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:34,400 just 397 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:39,440 Improved you from the inside and once you work on that heart in your mind 398 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,120 Nothing on the outside will faze you anymore 399 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,560 Nothing you'll be dancing in the mirror 400 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,280 Smiling rubbing your rolls 401 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,080 Looking at them stretch marks 402 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,400 Looking at your flabby whatever 403 00:29:54,960 --> 00:30:01,120 Your flat your your big your whatever, but you'll love you and once you love you 404 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,080 It radiates 405 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,400 It radiates and people feel it 406 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,520 And it makes them happy 407 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,720 Have a beautiful day on purpose 408 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,720 On purpose, you know, you can reach me at Sonya M 409 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:18,400 at 410 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:23,200 ledbymotivation.com or led by motivation zero seven at gmail.com 411 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:33,200 On purpose have a beautiful day