Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sangyama Queen with it's your life. What are you doing with it?
I want to talk to you about everything being new on
You in you around you just everything new
I think Tye Tribbett sings a song called everything new and
while I was thinking of this podcast this morning the song just kept going through my mind, but
You know we live in a world now you guys where everything's a cookie cutter. There's no original ality anymore
reality TV and and
These these videos I guess these I don't watch videos anymore, but these rappers and these singers and
These dancers
People watch this and that's who they want to emulate
That's who they want to be with so now you have a host of
12 13 year old girls who think that they are gonna need a fake butt a new nose
Higher cheekbones bigger breasts a smaller
Remove a rib so that my whole middle side can be smaller
I can have a 20 inch waist, but I can have 40 inch hips
You know you have a host of of young men who now think they're supposed to have these
Freeform dreads or they got to be this great soccer player
They're they're pushing themselves to limit to be like the people they see on TV
Like the people that their friends are emulating
What happened to the day when our kids just wanted to be like us?
They wanted to be like us and we prayed for them to be like us just better versions
Just better versions make more money. Don't make the mistakes we make
But you look at social media now you have parents with these young kids
Doing all the wrong things and having their kids right in tow with them. How many videos have I seen?
So I could just imagine how many you seen because I suck at social media a
parent videotaping their kids cursing and
and
Doing these things with their kids and they think it's fun and funny because the parents have now become
their kids best friends
You have parents getting on school buses beating up other kids
Because they disrespected their child or their child gets their butt whipped
This the cuffs you've got I mean fist the cuffs you got fist on fist hand on hand
But now the parents mad and she's at the bus stopper. She's at the school dragging a kid or trying to beat up teachers
That's what we're showing our kids now
Violence is the best answer
You know, I used to always say I see these videos boy
I'm so grateful that didn't happen when my kids were in school because I probably will still be in prison today
And I absolutely mean that you're not gonna come and put your hands on my kid
It's just a crazy world. We live in now the kids want to
You got Kim Kardashian
Who was already naturally beautiful, but she's done all this body working whoever
her surgeon is is
Amazing right her and her fleet sisters whatever they are and now you have all these kids wanting to be little miniature Kim Kardashian's
You know why because their mothers
emulate Kim Kardashian their siblings siblings you got the the Nicki Minaj is on the other side
Who once again already naturally beautiful now she's had so much work done that she's talking about having it removed
I guess or some lady named black China who had so much work done
Now she's having it removed and there was a picture of her. I really don't know her
Before and after and I didn't even know it was a before and after I didn't know it was the same person
That's how much
People want to be so perfect, but they were given the memo
There's no such thing as perfection on this earth
Embrace who you are right now you want to improve something improve your mind
Improve your mindset when you look at yourself and fall in love with what you see
Don't look at yourself
Don't look at somebody else and fall in love with what you see and decide that's what you want to look like now
I'm not knocking anybody who's had plastic surgery
Especially necessary plastic surgery, you know, sometimes
We're born or we have something going on that needs improvement
Or if you just really don't like yourself or what you see I would never tell somebody
I'll leave it alone leave it alone because I can't carry
What you're feeling about you? I might look at you and think man, you're beautiful
But you might look at yourself and see something totally different just like I'm not gonna really get into that
But I want to say just like a guy who looks at the mirror and sees a woman
You know, he's not happy with himself. They become suicidal a woman who looks at the mirror and sees herself as a man
She's not happy with herself if she can't change you she might become suicidal
I'm gonna leave that there though. I want to speak about people who just look in the mirror and they are totally unhappy and it
Depresses them. I'm not talking to you
I'm talking to the people who look at somebody else and
Decide whatever they have isn't good enough because they see everybody else copying that person
I call them cookie-cutters is getting to the point. I told my husband everybody I look at now looks the same on
TV on these reality shows. I'm like, oh, I thought that was such and such
Oh, I thought that was such because they all look alike
Their bodies all look the same their faces all go they're all going to the same plastic surgeons or something
It's to the point. I'm the outlier
My friends they're the outliers. We all look so different because we're uniquely ourselves
And we embrace it
We don't have the big buds but we have buds
We don't have the biggest boobs
We don't have these noses that people say are perfect our noses are perfect for us because it's what God blessed us with
This body this flawed body is perfect
Every stretch mark every scar every open pore in my face the one temple
The thin eyebrows the big eyes
It's all mine
And it's perfect
Yes, I used to look in the mirror and I didn't like this about myself and that and I still look at myself in the mirror
And I'm like man, I need to tone up. I need to work out harder. I need to do this and that but
When I stopped looking at myself in the mirror
I'm around a husband who's like you're beautiful. I
Have friends that don't put me down and say girl you ever think about doing something with those open pores on your face
They don't do that to me and I don't do that to them
Because we're impressed with each other's hearts and our hearts lead to the real beauty within us
The outside is superficial
Yeah, I'm blessed to have beautiful friends on the inside and out and I would like to think the same of myself
You know, I was saying that
When my kids were younger, I did the best I could for the most part being a good parent, you know, I had quality time with my girls
We did stuff together
Weekends we had date nights. We had
Theme months we would take turns making up dances and teaching each other
We will have a whole week to make up a dance to a song and then we would go down in the
Basement the fun room and whoever's turn it was would have to teach the other ones
that dance
Snoop Dogg
Has sung out drop it like it's hot with some other people
And this was my favorite one
Not the one I did not the one my youngest did but my oldest daughter had to she made up. She didn't have to
That's the song she picked and she made up a dance and I still to this day
That was she's 32 now. She was probably 14 15. I don't know
That's still the dance. I remember in the song. So
I tried to make great memories with my kids but more than that
I showed them it's a great dance
I
Showed them it's okay to be just who you are. I would praise my kids
I would tell them how phenomenal they were
How intelligent they were how beautiful they are just the way they are and I would tell them
To compliment their friends
Leave their friends in a way where they've seen love loving relationships
Love people
Regardless of how other people felt about them
Be individuals
And as you get older don't make the mistakes I made
Don't do the things I did
That got me in situations where I had to give up a child for adoption
Where I have three kids with three different fathers
Where I will fight and go to jail
Where I got caught stealing before stealing wasn't my thing. I tried to be a thief y'all and just didn't work out for me
Don't ever lie
Honesty is the best measure even if it hurts you or the other person
Sometimes it's very hard to be honest, but it is
Important to be honest because when you get caught in one lie people think your life for the rest of your lives
I tried my best to be the best parent I could
I didn't knock myself and I never knocked my kids never called them out of their name never raised my voice
But they knew
I am your mama
I will knock you out at any moment
You get out of pocket. I just never had to
My voice
and my words
Were enough to keep my kids as straight as they wanted to be in front of my face
And I am proud to say that all my kids
Are a better version of what I was at their ages all of them
Even the one I didn't raise all of them
And I'm very proud of that none of them talk about going to get plastic surgery
My daughters
They're they know their worth
Is not their body
They're bad girls don't get me wrong. I have beautiful girls and I have a very handsome son
But they know they're real worth so they don't have to
Go under the knife and try to impress everybody else by looking like other people
They have all the features they were born with and grew naturally
They can go out in public without makeup
They don't need it
I'm proud to say they got that from me because I am not a makeup person
I work out
I try to take care of myself to the best of my ability
I don't wear weaves and there's nothing wrong with weaves. There's nothing wrong with changing up your look
There's nothing wrong with makeup. There is nothing wrong with wearing
What is that stuff called spanks and all that to look the best you can in your outfits and be sexy and nothing
at all
It's when you rely on those things you won't go out in public without it
You feel like you have to have those things and you have to have this and you have to have that or you won't
Be appreciated. That's where the problem falls
Because you're missing the point you got to be appreciated for what's in you
Not on the outside the outside can be lost at any moment
There's this guy and I don't know his name, but he's a beautiful soul. He got burned up in the military really badly
Um third degree burns
On his entire head his face his arms his upper turture. So I'm not sure about his limbs
but um
He got married
He got married and I watched some of that on
online
And I cried of happiness
There's this lady who was in a terrible accident and she lost all her limbs. She lost both legs both arms
And um, she got married to a beautiful man
She got married
There's this lady
She was born
Blind and she has one leg y'all can look these up. I don't know their names though
but um
She got married
She got married to a wonderful man
And last example I want to give you is I was watching this show called 600 pound life with my husband
Had never seen it before and I was a little bit intrigued so I sat there and watched it
and
um
I think this lady was in her 800 pounds
Um, she was closer to 800 pounds and she was struggling with everything and um, she was married
To a beautiful guy who who absolutely adored and loved her
Even though she didn't look like that when he met her
I said all that to say y'all god made it to where there's somebody for everybody
No matter what you see somebody else looks at you and sees nothing but beauty
And that's because they learned the lesson you don't look on the outside you look at what's on the inside
Everything on you doesn't have to be new
Just fix your mind get a new mind
Think of yourself in a totally different way and whatever you do
Don't put yourself so high above other people that your feet never touched the ground
When you are full of yourself and all you think about is me me me II I don't think other people don't see it
Even if they don't say it but more than that you also need a new mindset
It goes both ways don't look at yourself and see
See and speak badly
And don't look at yourself and think that you are the best thing. Yeah. Yeah, like let me fix that
You can look at yourself and think I am the best thing going but don't put other people down
Look at them and say they the best thing going to
Don't put other people down to elevate yourself
That's just as bad as put yourself down
Know that this world can be full of a whole bunch of beautiful people
An entire flock of them have you ever met a person who was just so beautiful on the inside outside excuse me
But their inside didn't match
Nasty mean whatever
Those people are not happy and as much as they
Look you see them coming. You're like wow gorgeous people love to see them leave. They love to see them walk right on by
Because people start to miss that out of beauty. They don't even recognize it because your inside is so screwed up
You need it to be new
Don't worry so much. Don't be so superficial
and think that you have to have
This perfect body this perfect face this perfect hair
And so now you catch yourself spending hundreds of thousands tens of thousands thousands
Of dollars to fix it. Don't feel like you have to go outside with makeup on
You have to keep because what happens is you fool yourself into thinking and believing that's what you need
If y'all hear that in the background, please excuse it. The long people are out here claiming
our logs
What I need for you to do if you look at yourself in the mirror and you don't
See anything positive all you're thinking about is what you need to change and what you don't like about yourself
write it down
and then write how many of those things you can fix by
exercising or
wearing different clothes, you know, this is
serious and honest
So I was looking at myself in the mirror one day and I was like, why do I have a muffin top?
Why do I have a muffin top in all these clothes? Why?
I can't stand this muffin top thing. So, you know, I started doing more setups and more side bends and push ups
This is a while ago
and
And then I realized all I had to do
Was stop dying low rise pants. That was it was simple as that it took me a while
But my pants would just come over my behind
And that's why I wear them. So I started wearing pants that came over
My sides, you know over my belly button
Solved the problem. So no more muffin top and I'm saying that even though I'm smiling when I say it
I'm saying it to say sometimes they're simple fixes
Sometimes they're so simple
Exercise eat better eat different if it's a weight thing
If it's a hair thing
Go figure out like let's say you have alopecia that you can't help that
You can't help that
And alopecia is not just in the scalp, but you know, most people it's a hair thing
Go figure out what you can do where we do something, but don't knock yourself over it. I have a friend. She is ballheading
On purpose
And it looks good on her
It looks good on her
You know, my one of my favorite things about me is my hair
I don't you know wear weeds or wigs or or extensions and once again, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that as a matter of fact
I'm constantly saying I'm going to start because I want to change my look
There's nothing wrong with that. I just want to change up sometime and I don't want to
Always have to put heat or something in my hair to change my look
But what I'll do every January I cut off my hair
To about two maybe three inches long
A couple of times I cut it even shorter maybe an inch, but every January I cut my hair short every January
Except the last January I decided, you know, why don't I do something different? I'ma let it grow
And I let my hair grow all the way down to my bra strap
And then I thought you know when I say bra, I mean the back the back part not the top not my shoulder
The back so I thought wow, okay. This is nice, but it's only nice when it's straight
When it's naturally current because I have naturally curly
Fick hair
It's heavy
And I caught myself constantly saying oh my gosh, this is so heavy and it's it's time consuming and this and that
And I started complaining about my hair
Complaining about my hair
Complaining about my hair. I just wasn't feeling my hair anymore. So I went to the shop and said
Cut it
It's too heavy. It's too this is too that
And Richard my putition looked at me and said darling
All you were talking about was growing your hair out so that your husband because I always say my husband loves my hair long and straight
But he doesn't care if I cut it. He is not like he complains. He just made that compliment so many times
I love your hair as long as straight. So I thought I'm gonna let it just grow long and wear it straight for a couple years. He said
Instead of taking the time to take care of it and being patient
You just want it to be xyz and he said a couple of things and I left that shop
With just the trim. I had him cut it to my shoulders, but I left with just the trim because he was right
I was finding every reason in the world to go and complain
About what god blessed me with which is thick
nice hair
Sometimes you start complaining too much you'll lose something
You guys if you want to get everything new start with the inside
If you start with your heart and your mind and your spirit and the way you see yourself
It'll be amazing
You'll find out that that bbl isn't necessary. I think it's got a bbl. If it's not don't attack me
You'll find out that those
Much bigger boobs aren't necessary. You'll find out that that nose job
Removing a rib getting the fake abs
getting
Yeah, that's a thing. That's a thing
Getting the fake calves getting the thigh implants
Getting the lips bigger and bigger and bigger. It's not necessary
It's not necessary. I've had
breast augmentation
For those of you who didn't know but
For those of you who didn't know but I was having issues my back was hurting
I was getting these horrible migraines. My neck was hurting and finally my doctor was like you're gonna have to have a
breast reduction
And I just didn't want to be cut
But I didn't want to have headaches anymore. So I had it and it was probably the best thing
I've ever done for myself
But once again, it was a necessity so I could have a better quality of life
And for you parents
Do not I repeat do not emulate
People outside of your family you want to impress somebody
Impress the people in your home. Those should be the people you're trying to impress
Don't let the cadashians impress your kids and you
Are impressed by them as well
don't let
All these stars and actresses and singers and famous people
Be who your kids want to emulate. They should want to emulate you
Don't sit down. I'm gonna say this and I'm a go. They're back in my backyard again. Um
I've said this story before but when I was in high school, I think I was a junior
I don't believe I was a senior yet had a really really good friend. We were very close
and
she used to smoke weed with her parents and
Um, she had an older sister her sister was married with kids and the husband and sister would come over and they'd all smoke together
They drank together, you know, they were allowed to curse. They were allowed to have sex in the house and I was honestly intrigued
By this family now
I had this girl who used to curse at her mom and I cut that friendship off. It was so disrespectful
Um, and the mom would put up with that
But this family they were so much loved. They would greet each other with kisses and hugs and I love yous and they would be smoking and
Um, never never they knew I wasn't into it never once did they try to pressure me to smoke offered at one time
I said no, thank you and never offered again ever. I didn't smoke. I didn't drink none of that
But I'm saying all this to say
They were an outlier, you know, that was the outlier all my other friends were respectful to their parents
We played outside. They weren't having sex. Well in high school a lot of the girls and boys were having sex
I take that back, but I'm just saying
The parents didn't know they were having sex. They were sneaking to do that
um, you know, whatever they did
Wrong, they tried to hide it from their parents
And they were like, what is this family?
It's part of growing up, right?
I wasn't doing those kind of things growing up, but I did other things
Growing up
And some of it's funny. Some of it's not so funny, but
They were just
I don't know
You know, it was this family. I didn't have another friend like that
I was like, I wonder, wow, what drives them to want to do this stuff with their kids?
Even as a 16 year old girl, I used to wonder this, you know, why?
But at the same time, I love being over the house. I love to see the camaraderie and the love and I love that because I wasn't getting it
In my life
And I love being around it
And I must say nowadays
It's the opposite
You see that more
Than you see the kids
Trying to be the best kid and not be disrespectful and be loving and
At least from what I see now all the people I know their kids are grown
Their kids are grown so
They hopefully passed on
The the right way to parent
But now I'm seeing so many parents in the store with their kids. I just I was at the store the other day this girl
She couldn't have been no older than three
Honestly
The girl had a head full of weave in her head
With a bottle in her hand
And my heart broke
Mind my own business now, but my heart broke on the inside
All I was thinking about is how she's ruining that little girl's hair already
How crazy that looked to me
To me
There was a girl my guess is she was between
Four and six another girl
Beautiful little girl. She looked like she might have been
Oh, she was just beautiful. She had these big beautiful brown eyes. She looked like she might have been Indian, right?
But she couldn't have been
But she couldn't have been but she looked like she might have been maybe European and Indian mixed anyway
Faceful of makeup and I thought oh, maybe she went to a competition
But then I seen her mom
And I thought wow
This is horrible
You want to fix something you want everything to be new start with it
And if you have kids
And you've been idolizing
Beyonce's and
Kadasians and menages and
Tina snows and
All those people
Stop it
There are some great
People, yeah, I'm a big Kelly Clarkson fan. I'm a big Jennifer heart Hudson fan
Um
There are so many other people you can emulate from what you see but remember this
You don't know those people
You only know what they want you to see
Everything new it starts within you. This went way longer than I expected it to
I think I got a little lost in there, but you guys got the just of it
just
Improved you from the inside and once you work on that heart in your mind
Nothing on the outside will faze you anymore
Nothing you'll be dancing in the mirror
Smiling rubbing your rolls
Looking at them stretch marks
Looking at your flabby whatever
Your flat your your big your whatever, but you'll love you and once you love you
It radiates
It radiates and people feel it
And it makes them happy
Have a beautiful day on purpose
On purpose, you know, you can reach me at Sonya M
at
ledbymotivation.com or led by motivation zero seven at gmail.com
On purpose have a beautiful day