1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,320 Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with it's your life. What are you doing with it? 2 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:13,200 So today y'all, I want to come to you and speak about grace. I 3 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,400 Want to talk to you about giving grace 4 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:22,580 The same way you want people to give you grace to forgive others 5 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,240 From whatever 6 00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:28,240 Whatever they've done 7 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,680 Intentionally or not. So first I'm gonna talk to you about what I 8 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,320 See grace as and then I'm gonna look it up 9 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:45,240 While I'm speaking to you I look it up online on Google and see what they say grace is but for me 10 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,160 I believe when you extend grace to somebody 11 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,760 It's giving somebody a 12 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,480 thumbs up a 13 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,160 forgiveness 14 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,160 That's okay 15 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,200 That doesn't deserve it 16 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,320 it's that person that really hurt you and 17 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,600 Doesn't understand that they hurt you. They'll never apologize 18 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,480 But you still give them grace and you still forgive them and 19 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:18,880 Some of you might be like, okay, that's crazy. I'll never do that. I said the same thing 20 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:25,720 But the grace really even though you're extending it to them. It's the same as forgiveness 21 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,480 Everybody doesn't really deserve your forgiveness, right? 22 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,400 but you deserve 23 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:38,720 To release people from your mind and that anger so that you can grow and prosper 24 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,280 I'ma tell y'all something 25 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,560 Forgiveness was the hardest thing for me 26 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:48,000 You wrong me want shame on you for the rest of your life, right? 27 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:56,320 I was not a forgiving person at all and I equate that or I believe that was because I 28 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,640 Grew up with so much disdain 29 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,440 you know just people doing wrong and 30 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,280 Acting like it never happened so when it happened to me 31 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:14,840 there was no way I was gonna sweep it under the rug or keep smiling and moving and and 32 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:19,960 and working with you and and you know hanging with you and 33 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:25,660 Was just not gonna do it. You wrong me shame on you and get lost 34 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,240 I'm done with you 35 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,000 But the moment I realized 36 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:40,960 Why I had to forgive people who wronged me why it was a must to forgive them my whole life changed 37 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,960 My whole life changed 38 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:49,600 Guys don't understand when you harbor and hold 39 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,880 unforgiveness 40 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,880 It eats at you 41 00:02:53,960 --> 00:03:01,160 It eats at you it eats at your life it eats at your happiness it eats at your the way you think move feel 42 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:08,160 But when you release that person and say I forgive you and I've said it before and I know you've heard it from other people 43 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:13,960 Forgiveness doesn't mean oh now now we can vibe again now you can be in my life again 44 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,800 No, you forgive some people and just let them go 45 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,160 Like a bird you just let them fly away. I 46 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:28,120 See grace is the same. I see grace as telling somebody who doesn't deserve it. I 47 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,320 Hope you're blessed. I 48 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:38,080 Hope and pray that things go well for you. I 49 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,720 Pray that God gives you grace 50 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,960 Even though you don't deserve it 51 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:52,600 Even though you didn't ask for it, I'm gonna ask that you get grace I 52 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,480 Put grace and mercy almost together now 53 00:03:55,480 --> 00:04:01,160 I'm gonna look up grace because my definition might be wrong, but this is another one of those podcasts 54 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:10,320 I don't quite clearly understand why I'm doing it. It was heavy on me and I woke up with this on my mind and 55 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:17,280 Then I listened to my Bible and it was in there and so I thought you know what I gotta follow the rules 56 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,880 So I'm 57 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:25,200 Defining grace is actually I'm being and it says 58 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,080 simple elegance note note 59 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:33,920 In Christian belief the free and unmerited favor of God as 60 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,760 manifested in the salvation of 61 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:42,400 sinners in the bestowal of blessings, so I think I'm on the right path 62 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:46,280 We're all sinners and we're all giving grace, right? I 63 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,760 Don't know if we can give grace to each other 64 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:56,520 But I know we can forgive people who don't ask for forgiveness 65 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:03,040 Maybe maybe only God gives grace and we forgive. I don't know 66 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:09,000 I don't know and I will ask somebody the answer to that but grace is the word that's heavy on my mind 67 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,600 Giving favor to those who don't deserve it is on my mind 68 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:22,600 You know, maybe it has something to do with the road. I'm going down now. I feel like I'm not doing enough 69 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:29,760 Heavenly I feel like there is something else I'm supposed to be doing and maybe that's tied into this word 70 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:34,400 Do you ever dream or think of a word and you don't know why? 71 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:40,440 Or dream of numbers and you don't know why there's this thing called dream moves 72 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:45,320 That sometimes I'll go and look up my dreams and they're so on point 73 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,360 I didn't look up grace though, but I'm gonna look it up 74 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:54,320 But I do want to ask you all and maybe the word isn't grace. Maybe it's forgiveness 75 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,280 Extend some whatever it is. I'm gonna stick with grace right now 76 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:06,840 Extend some grace and favor to somebody they might not deserve it, but 77 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:14,400 You know, we don't deserve everything we get God gives me so much grace I 78 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:19,680 Bump my head. I fall off the wagon all the time 79 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:25,760 All the time put me in a car put me in traffic in Miami 80 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,600 Everything goes out the window 81 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,400 all that 82 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:35,600 Singing Christian music and and dancing like David and having a good time in my life 83 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,720 All goes out the window when I'm driving in Miami 84 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,800 I'm giving the evil look 85 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:47,520 I'm honking. I am so tempted to follow people, but they shoot you here 86 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:54,520 And nobody's trying to fight they shoot you here. And why am I trying to fight because somebody cut me off in traffic? 87 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,360 I'm gonna offer them the grace 88 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:03,800 You know what? You don't know me personally. You just drive crazy. You might not even be from here 89 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:08,680 This place is a melting pot. You don't know the driving rules everywhere else 90 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,440 So I'm gonna extend this grace to you 91 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:17,680 Even though you didn't ask for it. You probably don't deserve it. I'm gonna just move into this other way 92 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,680 That family member 93 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,440 Yeah, I'm gonna put grace and forgiveness hand-in-hand and 94 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:34,640 I'll probably have to do a part two to this one too because I might be misunderstanding what was being downloaded into me, but 95 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,480 That family member who? 96 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,880 Just this treated you so wrong and they make no qualms about it 97 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,880 Extend that grace to them 98 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,560 Pray for them pray for the best for them 99 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,760 And in your heart forgive them 100 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:58,760 Even though they didn't ask for it because once again, it's for you that forgiveness is for you the graces for them 101 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,600 The grace is you asking God to bless them 102 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,600 Anyhow 103 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:14,320 The forgiveness is for you to say, you know what I release you and everything you've done wrong from my mind my heart my soul 104 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,600 You're released I 105 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,400 Think I get it y'all 106 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,840 Give that grace and 107 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,560 Pray that God blesses that person in spite of themselves 108 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,760 But you forgive for you 109 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,960 So many people really don't deserve 110 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,360 Your prayers or 111 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:38,920 Do that? 112 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:45,360 Maybe we don't deserve so many people's prayers, but we get them anyway, right? They still pray for us. I 113 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:52,880 Told you guys sometime this week maybe or last week or maybe it's coming. I don't know about 114 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:59,000 How when I was at my lowest point of my life I 115 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:08,980 Didn't believe I deserved the love of my friends and I just wanted to push them all away and it worked 116 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,080 It worked and 117 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,000 Maybe they forgave me 118 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,920 But I don't believe I got any grace I 119 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:25,600 I got it from God though, but I don't believe I got it from them because they were angry with me 120 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:30,320 For pushing them away. They were angry with me in the midst of my 121 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,360 self pity of my sorrow and my brokenness 122 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,440 And 123 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:49,600 Much later they forgave me the relationships were never the same and never will be the same they forgave me 124 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:56,120 But it was so different right it was so different of course sometimes you just can't go back to the way things were 125 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,640 But you can be forgiven and move forward 126 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:05,840 Forgiveness doesn't mean inclusion. It just means you're released 127 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:10,440 from my heart from my brokenness 128 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,680 Because 129 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,600 You don't own a part of me 130 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,840 You don't deserve 131 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,080 to 132 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,880 resonate 133 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:28,720 In my negative feelings and my negative thoughts and hold me prisoner 134 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,920 to hurt and pain I 135 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:36,640 Deserve happiness I deserve to smile I deserve to move freely 136 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:42,080 So you're released now. I'm gonna tell you guys honestly I watched I 137 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:45,360 Watched the show called court camp if you've never watched it 138 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:51,400 It's people in court and the crazy things they do sometimes to escape or you know 139 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:59,080 Somebody sitting in court and a family member jumps over the the little thing and comes and starts welling on a beat in a man 140 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:06,360 And you know the deputies and everybody the court people the bailiffs or whatever they're called jump in and it's just craziness 141 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,080 That happens in court 142 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,640 But I was watching one the other day in this guy 143 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,440 Had killed this man's son 144 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,080 No reason he didn't know him just in cold blood killed him and 145 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:23,120 The guy he was a Muslim. I believe I'm not sure but he got up on the stand 146 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:26,560 And he told the young man I forgive you I 147 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,600 Forgive you and I love you with God's love 148 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:36,840 And he said God had already known my son was coming home at the age of 22 and who am I to question God? 149 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:44,640 I am just grateful for the time I had with him. I forgive you and I will pray for you and I was crying 150 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:49,400 But I thought at the end when that ended I looked at my husband and said 151 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,040 There's no way I will forgive somebody for killing my child 152 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,720 But that was beautiful. I 153 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,800 Told my husband every day I would be putting money on books 154 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:06,120 Telling people you give this person the worst time in prison they could possibly have 155 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:11,480 Every day I want you to do something to him and here's another hundred dollars on your books 156 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:15,440 I would live in my car. I said to ensure 157 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:22,360 Well, I wasn't talking to my husband then but I would live in my car to ensure that person got what I thought 158 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:28,800 They deserved no grace no mercy no forgiveness 159 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:36,600 Would that really happen you guys I don't know and I'm just grateful I'm not in a place to know 160 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,080 And I know too many people who had a child killed 161 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:45,480 Personally people I call friends and associate. I know five of them 162 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,720 Who've had a child killed and I know two people 163 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,720 who've had a sibling disappear 164 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,280 murdered and 165 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,720 They have no resolution 166 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,120 Seven people that's seven too many 167 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:08,480 Now the two I know what what's on their mind their loved one 168 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:15,640 One of them the they've never found their their brother ever found their brother 169 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:21,600 My friend Janice to this day they have no idea what happened to her brother decades ago 170 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:27,840 My other friend they found his remains in a storage locker 171 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:35,160 Of course, they had to do DNA testing because you're talking years later. He was found in a storage locker 172 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:40,680 But they don't know who killed and then the other five 173 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:45,160 You know you have some people in prison 174 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:54,320 Who killed their their child or haven't been caught yet out of the five to they have no idea who killed their child? 175 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:56,960 I 176 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:03,240 Cannot imagine that kind of pain. I don't want to imagine that kind of pain, but let's just 177 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,560 For the sake of this podcast pretend I was living that 178 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:13,680 Could I forgive could I say the words I forgive that person? 179 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:19,240 To release it for me, so I don't carry that. I don't know 180 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:26,160 But I applaud people who can't I 181 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,280 Think that that is 182 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:34,240 knowing and loving God to the utmost I 183 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:39,640 Love the Lord and every day I try to know him a little bit more 184 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:44,120 But I don't know if he's instilled it in me to be that strong yet 185 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:49,280 But then again, I didn't think I'd be strong enough to forgive other people who hurt me the way I have 186 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:54,960 But then again, I didn't know I'd be strong enough to ask for people to forgive me for my transgressions 187 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,260 But then again, I didn't know I 188 00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:04,460 Would be in the position I am in now to tell other people to forgive others I 189 00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:09,420 Don't underestimate 190 00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:16,040 My growth my strength my power and what's been embedded in me. I 191 00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:21,020 Don't underestimate where I was 10 years ago y'all 192 00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:24,940 I'm gonna go back to 193 00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:33,060 2012 that's the day I decided to change my life 194 00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:38,540 And started this path I'm on here in 2023 195 00:15:41,060 --> 00:15:43,060 2013 is 196 00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:46,260 The year I moved 197 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:54,140 2014 was the day I became a new new new creature because I was saved at 14 and 198 00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:57,380 Then I asked for forgiveness again at 2010 199 00:15:59,940 --> 00:16:07,620 And then yet again I asked the Lord to save me once again in 2014 and I haven't had to ask again I 200 00:16:08,780 --> 00:16:10,780 Had to grow up 201 00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:16,660 Had to be a more mature person had to be a better friend a better 202 00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:19,780 girlfriend a 203 00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:24,620 Better mother a better grandmother a 204 00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:29,340 Better person and I had to ask Christ to do it 205 00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:36,700 And he has not failed me so forgiveness was on the radar 206 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,060 Not only asking for forgiving it and 207 00:16:42,020 --> 00:16:47,740 Some people I sent messages to some people I call some people I just did it for my heart and 208 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,900 And note down and did it 209 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:56,660 It wasn't to them because some people don't even know they didn't they need it 210 00:16:57,260 --> 00:17:00,500 Like when I told you the young lady who I lived with 211 00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:05,980 In in Texas who begged me and begged me and begged me for years to come be with her and 212 00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:09,860 I finally did and ended up homeless 213 00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:13,740 Ended up giving up my child for adoption. I 214 00:17:14,580 --> 00:17:16,580 hated her I 215 00:17:16,580 --> 00:17:18,580 Blamed her for everything 216 00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:21,060 Not knowing it was my fault 217 00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,180 It was my fault 218 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:26,800 Wasn't her fault. Nobody put a gun in my head and said move 219 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:33,700 And then when I got there nobody said even though she said what she said you have rights I 220 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,820 Could have done so much more 221 00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:42,820 But I felt more compelled it brought me so much more 222 00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:45,340 It took guilt away from me 223 00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:47,340 to blame her 224 00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:51,940 But in 225 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:59,100 2013-2014 I forgave her and she didn't even know that I didn't she didn't even know there was beef I 226 00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:06,220 Was like, how'd you know we we were beef? We've had you not know we were beefing and we haven't spoken in years 227 00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:12,860 Decades and we were best friends, but she was oblivious to it 228 00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:17,380 And here I am every day carrying this anger in my heart. I 229 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:23,580 Tell you guys I promise you I used to think man. I'm just gonna fly out there and find her 230 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:30,740 I just got to release some of this anger and it wasn't gonna be verbally. That's how angry. I was all the time 231 00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:36,460 Every time somebody read my book and brought her up I would be angry all over again 232 00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:42,620 Just holding this anger and hatred in my heart for somebody who was oblivious to it all 233 00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:48,900 So sometimes you got to just kneel down and say I forgive you and keep it moving 234 00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:52,220 Because they don't even know you're not forgiving 235 00:18:54,620 --> 00:19:02,460 Sometimes you just got to extend that grace and ask God God, I know they don't really deserve it, but please bless that purse 236 00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:06,340 Please release them from whatever's holding them 237 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:10,580 In Jesus's name 238 00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:14,620 All right you guys 239 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:22,340 It's something else when I wake up with something on my mind and I don't quite understand it 240 00:19:22,340 --> 00:19:27,060 But the more I spoke the more I understood it. Maybe this podcast today is for me 241 00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:31,060 Maybe it's for me. I 242 00:19:32,580 --> 00:19:35,540 Think I've released everybody. I think I've prayed for 243 00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:40,460 Other people, but I haven't and there are a couple of people I've forgiven 244 00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:45,220 But I didn't ask for them to have grace and mercy and as soon as I fit in this 245 00:19:45,940 --> 00:19:50,260 It will be done. You guys have a great day on purpose. You know how to find me 246 00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:56,700 Sonia M at lead by motivation calm or led by motivation 07 at gmail.com 247 00:19:56,700 --> 00:20:20,700 Have a great day on purpose. Oh