1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,920 Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with it your life. What are you doing with it? 2 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:13,460 So today I have another part to I get so excited about doing 3 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:20,480 additions to podcast I've already done, but I did a podcast yesterday titled 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,360 if you don't protect them be prepared to lose them and 5 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:30,380 And occasionally I'll have a conversation with somebody or somebody's about a podcast and 6 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:36,120 It'll lead to further discussion that I want to share with you all because that's what I do 7 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:41,000 So I really want to hone in on our children 8 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:47,320 our grandchildren our great-grandchildren our nieces and nephews and 9 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:54,760 And even family friends that that routine as you know 10 00:00:55,800 --> 00:01:03,360 Family like people who were so close with were damn near family even though we're not blood related and sometimes 11 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:08,640 Those are the people you're closest to right? Let's let's be honest sometimes your family 12 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:10,920 is 13 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:19,200 Very skeptical of you or you're the black sheep or your family is dysfunctional or whatever it is and you develop 14 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,960 Friendships that are more like family ships than your actual family 15 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,480 But let's talk about that the kids in these families 16 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,960 And once again, they don't have to be your children 17 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,840 Your adult children your young children they can be but they don't have to be 18 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:43,000 So I'm gonna give you an example because that's what I do 19 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,320 My grandkids they're still here 20 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:53,000 Y'all this is the last week and as much as I love them they were fun 21 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:57,840 It was great to have them. They're excellent when I tell you they're good kids 22 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:02,040 But they don't sleep you guys and when I say they don't sleep 23 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:07,360 They literally don't sleep like the doctors want to medicate it. They don't sleep 24 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:14,120 They'll be up only the twins until four five six seven eight in the morning and 25 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:19,400 Sometimes they get loud and I get up out of my sleep to go tell them to shut the hell up or else 26 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:25,840 And then usually they get a little quiet because they think I'm crazy, but there's never an or else and 27 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,320 It's been ten weeks and 28 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:35,400 I'm excited that their mother's coming to get them until next summer when I can't wait to have them all over again, but 29 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,400 To use them as an example 30 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:44,040 They all have tablets. I bought them tablets a couple of years ago and they've been upgraded since by a 31 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,920 relative on their daddy side, so 32 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:54,920 What I'll do is when I'm really busy like if I'm working when when they weren't in camp anymore 33 00:02:55,400 --> 00:03:00,120 when I was working or cooking or whatever I just let them be on their tablets and 34 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:02,920 on the weekend sometimes 35 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:10,000 I'm specifically Sundays if I'm fixing a big dinner. I'll get up. I'll clean up 36 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:16,320 I'll start laundry after my Bible time and then I will start cooking dinner 37 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:21,080 But while I'm in the midst of cleaning stuff for dinner if they get up 38 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,840 I'll fix them something to eat and then I got to clean that and I'm just busy 39 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:30,200 I'm busy the entire day like I won't leave this house and I will have 40 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,200 I 41 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:38,520 Hit my my workout mark just walking around in this house and moving around in this house 42 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:44,120 I will have burned all the calories. I generally set to burn when I go running 43 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,880 But anyway 44 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:51,400 I'll just let them be on their tablets the whole time and what I noticed was 45 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:59,120 Even though a lot of nights I would make them take the tablets downstairs at nine o'clock at night 46 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:03,760 And they couldn't use them again until the next day. Sometimes I would forget 47 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,680 Those days I forgot 48 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,920 They would be on those tablets until four or five in the morning 49 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:11,920 and 50 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,920 What really made me mad? 51 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,080 was the other day actually 52 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:22,720 My husband and I went to a wedding. I said it in the lock last podcast I believe and 53 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,640 I heard this noise like at seven in the morning 54 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,800 And I'm thinking it's my husband downstairs watching TV. I get up and 55 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:37,600 The kids are in the kitchen having cereal. I'm gonna tell you guys now if those kids don't get up before noon 56 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,720 There's no way in the world and I told my husband 57 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,960 I don't think they've been asleep and he said they haven't been 58 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:50,600 But they were in their eating cereal on their tablets and they had been on their tablets the entire night not to mention 59 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:56,680 Friday I was very very busy. So they were on their tablets all Friday 60 00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:00,160 It rained so we didn't get to go outside 61 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:07,600 They were in the house on the tablets the entire day all the way till eight in the morning almost on Saturday 62 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:14,280 And like I said that made me mad but not at them at myself. I 63 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:20,520 Don't even check sometimes to see what they're doing on their tablets because I feel like oh their kids tablets 64 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:26,760 They're they're made by Amazon for kids. But what does that mean? They still can get on TikTok 65 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,360 They can still do certain things. So 66 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:36,920 What I had them do was go I said as soon as you're done eating put your stuff in the sink and 67 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,040 I need you to leave your tablets downstairs 68 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,680 And go get in bed. They said okay 69 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:48,320 And that's what they did and they went and got in that bed and passed out now had I let them take those tablets 70 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:53,200 They still would have been awake on those tablets because those tablets they 71 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,920 mesmerize our kids 72 00:05:55,920 --> 00:06:01,200 TikTok and all these videos and everything it mesmerizes adults 73 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:07,200 Adults I have more adults sending me videos even I do it 74 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:13,600 I send my kids stuff all the time and my husband sends me stuff and I send him stuff 75 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:19,800 That's different for me because I am an adult and I can 76 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,480 Distinguish between what's good and what's bad what's right and what's wrong 77 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,920 What's just a joke and what's serious they can't distinguish that yet 78 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,540 They can't distinguish that and it's our job 79 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,560 To ensure that they're getting quality time 80 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,640 voice the voice face the face not tablet the eyes 81 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,640 Not tablets the ears 82 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:46,640 My grandbabies know every single 83 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:53,400 TikTok dance there is every last one of them my daughter put on a complex 84 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,600 Complicate complication 85 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:04,400 TikTok songs and it'll play a TikTok song for like 10 15 seconds and all these songs have dances and she played it 86 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,400 and 87 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:13,920 The girls dance to every single song and when I say they didn't just dance wildly they dance thing unison 88 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,920 They knew the dances collectively which is cute 89 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,600 Which is cute 90 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,160 But it made me think did they learn this here 91 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:29,200 Did they spend so much time here on their tablets that they had the time to learn? 92 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,040 30 TikTok dances 93 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:41,040 It bothered me about me not them because they're kids and they're only gonna do what we allowed them to do 94 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,360 So what I told my daughter the day me and my husband went to the wedding 95 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:49,760 She came over to our house to watch them, but I told her they're gonna be sleep 96 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:54,760 She needed to be at our house at 11 o'clock. I made them go to bed about eight 97 00:07:55,240 --> 00:08:01,240 So I said they're gonna be asleep if they wake up before three o'clock make them go laid back down 98 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:05,080 If they wake up and they're hungry feed them and make them lay back down 99 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:10,080 But they didn't wake up until after three and I told her when they wake up no 100 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,960 tablets 101 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,360 Guess what y'all 102 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:20,520 Even when I tell them to take their tablets downstairs at nine o'clock even when I tell them no tablets today 103 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:25,160 They're okay with that. It's what we allow them to do 104 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:32,960 When we came in the house our house looked like a little rumble room and that was fine, but everybody was running around having fun 105 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:38,280 My daughter dragged my little trampoline out of the garage. It was in the middle of our living floor 106 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:43,960 They're playing on it my baby grandbaby the one-year-old was playing on she running around 107 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:50,620 Laughing and and telling people no and stop and go and do and they were having kid 108 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,240 fun 109 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,120 Playing games 110 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,680 Jumping around dancing laughing having a ball 111 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,240 Me and my husband got home about 112 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:05,080 530 from the wedding and we all sat here until about 113 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:10,880 730 before my daughter finally left and the entire time nobody asked about a tablet 114 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,720 Nobody when she left it calmed down after a while 115 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:21,640 I put on a movie and one of the kids said grandma can we get on our tablets and I said 116 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,640 Are you hungry? 117 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:30,400 They were like, yes, I said I tell you what let's make a deal y'all eat dinner and then you can get on your tablets for two hours 118 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,400 They were fine with that 119 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:38,840 They had their dinner they got on their tablets. I went and showered. I had everybody bathed 120 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:43,220 They came back downstairs. We watched TV together for a while. They went upstairs 121 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:49,160 What I know for a fact is as much as they like those tablets 122 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,520 It's only because that's what we allow 123 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,200 They absolutely love 124 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,240 quality time 125 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:03,360 Those kids love when I say let's go for a walk. I told you guys on another podcast 126 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,280 It was it's almost like me saying let's go to Disney 127 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:12,240 They are screaming happy can't wait to go put on their shoes so they can exert energy 128 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,920 We go a mile mile and a half 129 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,800 I try not to go too much further because of the four-year-old 130 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:25,160 But those twins they are running in the four-year-old just running and laughing and playing tag and doing the 131 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,360 utmost if I say hey, let's go to the park 132 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,120 Let's go to the beach. Let's go to the movies. Let's go out and eat 133 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,520 They're on 10 134 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:38,840 It's like over and over again. I'm like, let's go to Disney. Let's go to the romper room. Let's go to Chuck E. Cheese 135 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,960 Let's go to the jump trampoline masia 136 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:46,960 They love quality time it's on us 137 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,840 It's on us 138 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:57,120 What that looks like to us if we just don't want to be bothered and we keep a kid in front of a TV in 139 00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:02,040 Front of a phone in front of a tablet in front of a computer. That's what they're gonna do 140 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,720 And that's where they're gonna get their imaging 141 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,880 That's where they're gonna get their imaging 142 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:10,960 I 143 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,960 Am not knocking anybody 144 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,080 But I've seen 145 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:21,280 What little Kim looked like because I was a little Kim fan when little Kim hit the stage 146 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:27,080 with notorious bi g and I look at little Kim now I 147 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,240 Seen 148 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,400 What Nicki Minaj looked like when she first hit the stage 149 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,760 With her seven personalities that somehow now she doesn't have 150 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:43,160 And what she looks like now I see what Cardi B looked like 151 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:49,640 When she first hit the stage my whole point is I've even heard songs where people are talking about their 152 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:56,400 How they had to go get a BBL had they had to go do this thing you went in there rapping about it 153 00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:00,360 Like it's such a treasure and then of course the kids want to do it 154 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:08,000 And I said in a previous podcast how these rappers are singing about popping mollies and smoking and 155 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,720 and mixing 156 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:13,480 Cops syrup with this and that and and getting a high and 157 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,920 Then the kids want to emulate that 158 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:25,320 But you know why the kids want to emulate all that that's because that's what we keep letting them see and hear every day 159 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,520 Because we're busy 160 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:32,640 We want to watch TV. We want to watch this movie. So yeah, yeah, go get on your tablet 161 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:37,040 So I could sit here and watch this movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on the phone 162 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,040 Go go go away 163 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:40,720 is 164 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:45,080 One thing if you're like me and I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back for this 165 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:52,200 But I'm hardly ever on my phone and if I am I try to limit the amount of time even if the kids aren't here 166 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:56,320 I don't like to spend hours on the phone talking to one person. I 167 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:02,560 Don't like that because I'm taking away from quality time with people right here in my presence. I 168 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:11,880 Don't like that especially if you work a nine to five you go to work and you come home on your phone and you're on your phone 169 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,840 And you're on your phone and then you hang up and you on the phone with somebody else 170 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,440 When do you have time for the person sitting right in the room with you? 171 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,280 right in the same house and 172 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:27,760 Then you surprise the man when they want to go hang out or go do something. Yeah, because you're not present 173 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:32,960 I've never been big on that so when I am on the phone and 174 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:39,720 The kids come talking to me and they don't really want nothing. I do tell them I am on the phone, you know better 175 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:46,560 Because I'm only on the phone for a few minutes and I'm hardly ever when I tell y'all I'm hardly ever on the phone 176 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:54,360 I'm talking I plan my phone calls. I tell my friends. Hey, I'm gonna call you Wednesday and it's Sunday when I say it 177 00:13:54,360 --> 00:14:01,920 And they all know okay, well, I know you busy or I know you don't like to be on the phone long 178 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:06,920 So I'm gonna let you go. I've already said that precedence and you know when I said it about 20 years ago 179 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,360 I've always been like this 180 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:13,720 I've never been the type to just like to be on the phone. Yeah, I've been in talking and yeah 181 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:19,080 But even when I started this podcast, I told you guys I don't like to talk a lot 182 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,680 So I don't know how I'm gonna do these podcasts, but by the grace of God 183 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,600 I'm running my mouth and I'm getting them done 184 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:31,320 But anyway, you have the parent who loves to be on the phone. I 185 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,200 remember this one girl telling me 186 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:42,040 Her mother would pick her up from school and her mother be on the phone laughing loud yack yack yack and 187 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,440 Texting and driving and swerving and 188 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,280 She's noticing all this at the time. She was eight 189 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,280 She's noticing all this 190 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,760 And she was telling me and my husband one day how she doesn't like that 191 00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:00,040 She doesn't like that, but she can't say anything because that's her mom 192 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:08,200 And I'm telling her, you know, of course I talked to her first. Do you love your mom? Of course I do 193 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,200 Does your mom love you? Of course she does 194 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,600 Are you able to talk to your mom about other things? Of course. Are you scared of your mom? No 195 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,720 Then why can't you talk to your mom about that? 196 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,720 You talked to your mom about how 197 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,040 you're concerned for her safety and 198 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:27,480 That you would like to spend quality time with her, but she was feeling this. I don't know if she ever did 199 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,360 but the point is 200 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,760 Our kids notice 201 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:40,120 Everything and they hear I don't care if they don't say a word. They are sponges. They soak up what we say 202 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:46,040 And if they really love us they regard it as the truth 203 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:51,960 Remember that they soak up what we say and they regard it as the truth 204 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:59,640 If we're on the phone talking mad junk about sister so-and-so and brother so-and-so and we can't stand this person that person 205 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,600 Don't be surprised when your kids on the phone talking about 206 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:11,400 Schoolmate so-and-so and schoolmate so-and-so and how they can't stand them and they're just emulating you 207 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,960 Don't jump on them 208 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,960 Fix your behaviors 209 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:24,920 And if you are one of those parents that just throw uh, I remember I gave a podcast about me going for a job interview 210 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,400 at a children's 211 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,680 clinic it was a clinic for kids and 212 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,160 It was no exaggeration to say 213 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:41,480 Every single child in that waiting room and it was an overflowing waiting room because there were people sitting on the floor 214 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:47,880 Every child even the child in the stroller had a phone or a tablet in their hand 215 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,240 every last one of them 216 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:59,000 I looked from parent to parent from child to child there was a tv in the lobby 217 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,120 And the tv was on mood sounds 218 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,120 What child wants to see that? That's a child sitting on the floor 219 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:12,600 And the tv was on mood sounds. What child wants to see that? That's that sleep, you know 220 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:18,840 Not sleep music, but were they if you if you time out your computer and you lock it 221 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:24,840 And you could have a picture of a mountain or something and if you put the music behind it the soft play in music 222 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,120 That's what i'm talking about. That's what that was on their tv 223 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,480 at a children's clinic 224 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:37,480 I don't care what cartoon you put up there put up something that is gender and 225 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,240 race and nationality neutral 226 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:49,640 I don't care what it is those kids are gonna look at it and then talk to your parents about just 227 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:56,840 Taking those devices for a moment from the kids pay attention 228 00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:01,720 To the people in your lobby that bothered me that bothered me immensely 229 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:12,840 Now it bothered me because I was disturbed by the lack of communication there doesn't mean that they're like that all the time 230 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:19,000 Doesn't mean like they're like that, but they were like that there and all of them were a hundred percent of them 231 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,680 You guys 232 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:27,080 When you see something like that, especially in your family, there's nothing wrong 233 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:31,480 Even if you can't get up and run around or anything, there's nothing wrong with pulling out a board game 234 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:36,840 Kids might aw at first, but why don't you start playing? They're all in 235 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,560 they're all in 236 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:44,920 there's nothing wrong with getting some cards and teaching them id clear war or um 237 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,080 I forgot that other game that kids play go fish 238 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:54,040 Going to get some uno cards if you're not, you know able to get up and run around 239 00:18:54,040 --> 00:19:01,640 But if you are go for a walk with them kids get up and jump around with them dance with them laugh with them chase them play 240 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,360 Play um hide and seek with them 241 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,640 We gotta get back to a time when kids are kids 242 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,880 When kids are kids 243 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:19,400 When did it become okay for kids at seven and eight to be watching half-naked people? 244 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,440 They on videos now are soft porn 245 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,640 And we're letting our kids watch them 246 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:33,800 I can honestly say my daughter has something on these tablets to where the kids can't get a lot of things 247 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,280 But I still look to see what they can get 248 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:43,320 I wasn't at first because I'm thinking ah their kids tablets, but that means nothing 249 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,280 That means nothing these days 250 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,840 When my kids were younger 251 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:53,720 I used to check their phone just randomly phone check. Give me your phones 252 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,600 And I would look to see who they were texting what they were texting 253 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,240 The language they were using 254 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:07,160 And what they were doing on their phones back then there was no tick-tock and all this other social media stuff 255 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:12,680 Now my kids were born in 90 and 92 and 98, but I only had the 90 and 98 256 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:18,280 And of course there were phones and things became more prevalent later 257 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:21,720 But I just checked their phones more and they never knew when I was going to check their phones 258 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,480 It would just be random and I could honest the gods say 259 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,160 At every single time I checked their phones except once 260 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:33,160 One time my oldest daughter used some cursing in there 261 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,880 She was talking about me too by the way, but she was cursing in there and that was the only time 262 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,600 I ever seen anything inappropriate in their phones 263 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,600 But I can honestly say 264 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,760 I spent quality time with my kids. We put together puzzles 265 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:51,720 We hardly ever watched TV. We would sit around and put together a puzzle together. We would read together 266 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:56,760 We we made up dances together. We danced. We exercised. We had fun 267 00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:01,800 We would go to movies. We had date nights every Friday every Wednesday with theme night 268 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:07,640 We had a good time and just as a reminder theme night every Wednesday 269 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:14,920 One of us one of them it was never me would pick a theme. Let's just say the theme was hamburgers 270 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,320 Every Wednesday we would have a hamburger 271 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,000 And if you can't afford to go out 272 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,880 To a different restaurant 273 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,920 Make hamburgers at home just try different ways 274 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,400 But what we would do if if taiisha picked 275 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,160 hamburgers, we're gonna have hamburgers. We would pick 276 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,720 Every Wednesday for that month a different place. We never had a burger 277 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:43,080 Pizza we would pick a different place. We never had pizza before to have pizza 278 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:48,200 No matter what it was Italian. We will find four different Italian restaurants. We had never been to 279 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:55,080 Sub sandwiches whatever it was. I tried to make sure it stayed under because I was always on a budget 280 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,360 So we never it was never like a new 281 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:05,080 Five-star restaurant. It was always somewhere simple tacos hamburgers pizza 282 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,160 Sub sandwiches things like that, but it was fun 283 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:15,080 And it was something they looked forward to their month to pick that theme and then to go to a different place 284 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:20,040 But I spent quality time is my point with my girls 285 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:25,720 I didn't just throw them in front of a tv or a computer now. I told you guys at one point 286 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,280 I was doing here five days a week 287 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:33,800 And working and I noticed that I wasn't able to spend as much quality time with my kids 288 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,280 So I quit my job and got a better job 289 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:41,720 That didn't take away as much time, but that quality time was important 290 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,280 And I'm very proud of it now 291 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:50,440 Which is what I really wanted to do with my grandkids just spend quality time with them because 292 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,320 They go back to Missouri and I'm here as much as I say they 293 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,960 They kept me awake sometimes 294 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:04,120 It was still a treasure to spend this 10 weeks with them because the next 42 weeks 295 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:08,920 They won't be around me except when I come to visit for a couple of days 296 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:16,440 Y'all let's try our best to get our kids not to be so enthralled on what's going on 297 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:24,360 On social media and what stars and it's crazy. It's crazy little two three four year olds parents making 298 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,320 Pages for them 299 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:32,280 And just constantly got cameras in front of these kids faces because they want to 300 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:38,520 Their kids to be the next great 301 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:44,760 Beyonce they want their kid to be the next the baby. They want their kid to be the next 302 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:53,000 I don't even know who this is, but honey boo boo. I guess she's a model. I I have no idea. I've heard the name but 303 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,080 Let your kid just be whatever name you gave them 304 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,840 Let them just be your kid 305 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,840 Let them just be your kid 306 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,760 Let them just be your grand kid. Let them just be your niece and nephew 307 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:11,400 You got to think about this not only are you walking around all day with a camera in your hand 308 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:17,400 So you can videotape them, but you're subjecting them to constantly being on social media 309 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,840 Because that's what you think they should be 310 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:27,160 It's not there. Nothing's wrong with catching your kids. Sometimes something fun or funny and 311 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:34,440 But when you have to do it every day and you're doing take after take after take like they're a movie star on a set 312 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,240 You've got to reevaluate some things 313 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,520 You really do 314 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:45,880 You really really do I've heard my kids. I sent my daughter a picture of these beautiful girls. Oh my god 315 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:50,280 Just simply gorgeous, but one of them looks like my granddaughter in london to me 316 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:55,880 Um, but one of the girls has blue eyes and the other one has a blue eye and a brown eye beautiful girls 317 00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:01,640 And I sent my daughter a picture and said if if she closes her eyes and you can't see the blue eyes 318 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,760 She looks exactly like london my daughter replied 319 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,080 I agree 320 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,280 I've watched these girls grow up on social media. They're famous 321 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:16,120 Um, they've they've always been on social media and I thought wow that's exciting 322 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,800 But is it exciting to the kids 323 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,680 I'm gonna give you this one last point and I'm a go 324 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,720 It's been a long time since I did a 30 minute podcast 325 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,600 When I was stationed in Missouri I had 326 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,280 Neighbors and they had these beautiful girls beautiful 327 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,920 And as a matter of fact the mom used to put the girls in all these pageants 328 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,400 Beautiful girls 329 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:49,240 They would be in pageant after pageant after pageant and the mom she just thought thaiisha was a gorgeous girl and she was 330 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:56,920 She still is if you haven't seen my baby. She's absolutely gorgeous these deep dimples these high cheekbones these huge 331 00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:03,320 Omni eyes that are cat shaped naturally beautiful. Don't need a lick of makeup 332 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:08,200 Um, and she used to try to get me to put thai in pageants and I refused 333 00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:15,640 And one day the lady didn't even like me, but for some reason she really thought my daughter should be in pageants 334 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,120 so one day 335 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:23,720 We were standing outside me in another neighbor and she walked up and she was telling me about a pageant 336 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:31,240 And I'm smiling and listening and I said, okay, and then she asked me why don't I ever put my daughter in pageants and I'm a 337 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,240 Samize what I say because I don't remember my exact words, but I told her 338 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,280 I'm her mom 339 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,880 if I put her in all these pageants, I'd have to stop doing everything I do 340 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:52,360 And eventually hope she can take care of us when that's my job and she's not old enough to make a decision about whether that's what she wants or not 341 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,760 I would be making that decision for her 342 00:26:55,400 --> 00:27:00,680 I'd be making a decision about what she needs to do for the rest of her life or for this moment 343 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:06,600 Because that's what I want. I'm gonna live my life through. I told her I'm not I'm not like that 344 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:12,200 I want my child just to have fun and when she gets older or if she wants to be a model she can pursue that 345 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:18,120 But I'm not doing that and that lady got so mad. She didn't say anything to my face 346 00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:22,360 But she was mad because she thought I was judging her and I wasn't 347 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,320 I was giving her an answer to her question 348 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,560 I wanted my child just to be a child and decide on her own 349 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,280 If that's the route she wanted to take 350 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,160 And it wasn't a route she wanted to take 351 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,040 And you guys I'm positive I could have put her 352 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:42,680 Ty would have been in magazine. She would have been here and there and maybe she would have liked it if she did it 353 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:47,000 But when she was old enough to make her decision, that's not the route she wanted to take 354 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:54,760 Now I'm gonna talk about tweet and a lot of listeners no tweet tweets my youngest and tweet can play 355 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:59,960 Probably any instrument you put in her hand she can say when I say she could sing 356 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,680 that girl can 357 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,640 She can sing and I am talking on 358 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,840 You take almost anybody 359 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,040 Level she can sing on that level she can um 360 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,760 She has a perfect pitch perfect pitch. She she can hit those 361 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,480 Mariah Carey, um 362 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,320 I can't think of my favorite. She's the C's now 363 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:29,800 Um singer notes shanty more notes or she can sing some low notes 364 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,680 And she could play all these instruments and she could dance and she's a size zero even after having a child 365 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:40,040 So she's got this model body. She's got these deep dimples these pretty beautiful girl 366 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:45,080 And she did everything she was in dance. She was in bass 367 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:51,240 Bass guitar guitar classes. She took piano lessons. She took um 368 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:56,680 Acting lessons. She took vocal lessons. She clear a net. Um 369 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,680 You think about it. She did it 370 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:04,280 But as she grew up because I'm thinking I'm spending all this money this girl's doing 371 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:09,720 Everything and she's doing everything well people are asking her to sing that 372 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:15,640 Background on there. Oh, we want you to sing we want you and she was telling everybody she didn't want to do that 373 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,600 One day I said tweet. I'm spending all this money 374 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:24,600 You're gonna do something with these talents. You're gonna do something and it made her sad 375 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,160 To know that I was gonna make her 376 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:30,360 Do something 377 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,360 Besides she just enjoyed these talents 378 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:37,240 And so I backed up but what I did tell her is I'm not gonna keep spending all this money 379 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,240 But you can enjoy this all you want 380 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,840 I bought her she has like foreign-based guitars and a guitar 381 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:48,280 She had her own piano a keyboard and she just loved 382 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,440 To play them 383 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,440 But she didn't want to perform 384 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,440 For others 385 00:29:54,680 --> 00:30:02,600 She has been requested by some major stars to come and sing. She went and sang for a couple of people 386 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,240 But for the most part 387 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,360 She just wants to be an ordinary everyday person 388 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:14,120 And how can I be mad when I just told you guys the other day? I've never wanted to be famous 389 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:20,120 And I've never wanted to be rich. I just wanted enough and if somebody told me you have to 390 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:23,960 You have to take this talent or what they deem as a talent 391 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:28,120 And you have to be on a bigger platform. You must do it 392 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,240 I don't know how I would feel either 393 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,640 I just want to do my podcast 394 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:41,640 And be happy and live my life you guys and I want to live behind a legacy that helps people 395 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,520 For generations to come 396 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,000 But I don't want to be forced to do it 397 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:51,480 And that's what so many of us parents do. We force our kids to sit in front of a TV 398 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:57,160 We force them to be raised by these tablets and these stars and these actresses and actors 399 00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:59,480 We force them 400 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:04,600 To be TikTok sensations and Facebook sensations and Instagram successes 401 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,520 Instead of just letting them be 402 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:13,880 Let's let our kids be and let's teach other people to let their kids be 403 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:19,160 All right, this is your girl Sonia and I meant everything I said you have a great day on purpose 404 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:27,000 You can find me at Sonia M. S O N Y a M at ledbymotivation.com or led by motivation 07 at Gmail 405 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:47,000 Have a great day on purpose