Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with your mind your body your choice
I know you're probably thinking I don't even know the name of my podcast because sometimes I say it's your life
What are you gonna do with it? But my plan originally was to change the name of the podcast
every season
But have the the main name
Your mind your body your choice because I speak about things of your mind
I speak about what you're doing with your body and the choices we make but I keep forgetting y'all
Anyway today, I want to come and talk to you about
Forget what I said
About shutting people down. Let's protect people. I
Did not want to get up and do a podcast this morning. I did not I did not I don't even know what day you're gonna get it but
The need to get up and speak about this wouldn't pass me and I don't know why but I
Don't question things anymore. That's gonna make one of my listeners really proud for me to say
You know how previously I said
when
I said in people who just like to talk about other people call you or come see you and want to bash
Somebody else how you shut them down either a
You tell them you don't want to hear it
You tell them you don't want to hear it be you call that person up and say hey, you know, let's get this straight
Let's let's all be on one accord which will forever shut that other person down
Nobody likes to be embarrassed and nobody likes to be outed. I don't care who they're speaking about
You have family members like I said a couple weeks ago who call and speak about other family members to family members and
Listen and they'll talk junk about their own cousin their own brother their own mother
Whomever they will talk so negatively about that person instead of bringing value love and
And understanding back into their own family
They'd rather be on some foolishness and I for the life of me do not understand that
Especially because I was such a major part of that
Not the giver but the recipient in my own family
So it troubles me and it throws me off
But you know friends do it people in churches do it you got a church member in the choir stand
dogging another
church choir member
In church
So, you know, God forbid we think that normal everyday people are gonna live right, but it's possible y'all I
Said before you know shut people down, but I want to add a layer to that
Let's protect each other. I
Am listening to people
call me in such a state of depression or sadness and it doesn't help when they know people that they care about or
Deemed his friends or even people you don't know now on social media dog and out other people. I was telling my husband
One of my Facebook friends posted three women with real profiles. These are three real women not stars
Not people that these are three people you could actually go to their page because their page names were mentioned and
The three women were all facing
Their butts were facing the camera. That's the best way to describe it
It's like somebody's taking a picture of you from the back, but they're looking over their shoulder at the camera
So they're showing, you know, they're behind and I think it said
the only thing I have to offer pose and
I laughed that loud when I read it at first, but then I realized oh my god
People can actually type these women's names into their browser or their Facebook or Instagram whatever it was on and they can
Comment directly to those people and I just thought how cool
To do that. Do you know the negativity those women probably receive just based on one person
taking their screenshots and
And putting them on their page. Oh
my gosh, I just I felt so bad for them women and I
Don't know them. I don't know if that's the best they have to offer
But I do know that that was something they posted on their own pages and I've said before if you don't like what somebody posts
Keep scrolling
unfriend them, but don't
Make a mockery of them
Don't all of a sudden now you want to talk about them or or start making negative comments about them. It's their page
I've said it a million times and somebody wants to post
200 posts a day
talking about just woke up like this, but you know, they've been woke for hour or how you wake up and
Now you sitting up almost perfectly taking a picture of yourself with your eyes closed
Come on now, but if that's what they want to do, let them do it. It's their page keep
scrolling if you don't like it, we know the person who
Follows other people to see what they're doing on their page so they can outdo them let them out. Do you you have a whole life ahead of you?
So what they might have more friends so what they might get more likes who cares if you are posting for likes
You've really got to rethink your life
seriously
What I do know though is
when we see things now instead of just
Even telling people no, we've got to protect each other
We've got to protect people and call out
People doing wrong things. So yeah, I inbox that friend. I was like come on you're better than that
And of course he said it was just a reposess. It was a repos, but
Watch what you repost
What business does a 50 year old have of
Trying to bring shame to somebody else
Is it your position? Is it your job to shame others or out others?
I was watching the news and I didn't get the full effect of it, but apparently
a
Guy was voguing
He was voguing and another guy didn't like it. So he killed him
You killed somebody because you didn't like what they represent
Because they were supposed to represent you is that what it is? We're supposed to represent each other now
We're supposed to be cookie-cutters. We're supposed to be
The same
You know, God forbid you're you're a lesbian. You're a homosexual. You're transgender
You are
Bisexual you are
Who you are?
If it doesn't fit my bill it's not acceptable
It's not acceptable for a man to want to be with another man
It's not acceptable for a woman to be and then everybody wants to cite the Bible
Everybody wants to cite the Bible. Well good, but if you're not God
Who are you to judge because you have your own issues? You have your own turmoil. You have your own
mistakes or
Downfalls or what other people deem as downfalls because who are you to say that the life somebody else's living is wrong?
But let's just pretend for a second it is
Worry about the person in the mirror
Remember the glass house
With the cracker roof in the cotton floors, that's where you're living
Worry about your floors
Getting wet and giving way worry about your roof
Getting wet and giving away and worry about somebody throwing a stone in your home
bouncing a ball and
Shattering it worry about you
And stop worrying about other people but for those of you who don't cash judgment
Protect the people who are being judged
Don't just turn a blind eye
forget that
protect them
People are killing themselves based on the way other people are treating them kids are killing themselves
Based on the way the kids you're raising are treating them
We're okay and kids from bullying other kids
We're not checking our kids social media to see what they're doing to see who they're talking about to see how they're
representing you on
social media
Forget how they're representing themselves
You got a 14 15 16 year old child living under your roof and you check their social media
They they're half neck and tongue out acting like Meg the stallion
Come on now
That's a reflection of you
You got your child holding a oozy thinking this cool is fake and you up here. Oh, it was fake
It was fake which I'll tripping off of we're tripping off of you
Protecting your child holding a fake oozy on social media
You got the child bullying your college age kid
Posting all these pictures. They drunk they have passed out. They think it's funny
You giving them accolades ha ha ha with them and they bully in the person who isn't doing that
And you're on that bandwagon. We're looking at you and your parenting
And we want to step in and help that child
We want to show that child this isn't right
They might not listen, but that's what we want. We want to raise the next generation to be
Level-headed kids not listening to this rap music talking about poppin mollies
busting guns
They think it's fun now to get high because all these rappers say it is I love rap music. Don't take that wrong
But I ain't around here popping nothing popping nothing
I'm not you know, I was amazed I
Don't watch videos, you know, I haven't watched videos in years music videos, but when I was young I loved music videos
I remember
And it was such a plethora. It was a mix. It was a beautiful mix. I remember watching Michael Jackson
I remember watching Prince. I remember watching you too. I remember watching Rod Stewart
All those videos were lovely all of them
Now the music videos I
Was scrolling on tick-tock don't ask me why but I don't know if it was tick-tock
It was something I might have been on anyway
It showed a video this guy had a video and all these women were half-naked
They had these little bitty bikinis on and they were twerking and they were twerking on each other
And they were humping this and they were humping that they were twerking this I can twerk. I'm a bad girl
I can twerk
But I'll be damned if I'm gonna do it to demean myself and that's how I feel
Apparently that's not how they feel and I'm not knocking them. I promise you I'm not but I just thought
What a long way we've come to where we just had music that we vibe to and used to love to watch the videos to where now
these men have women
Doing the most
To be in a music video and there's so many of them what makes you stand out
Oh, I'll tell you what makes you stand out when you do the most most
Right, that's how super head got her start for doing the most most but then
As I was sitting here with my mouth open because you know, I'm old I'm behind a
Female that I I have some of her music her rap video came out and she was neck it almost
I was like, what the hell?
You are necking in your own video and you pop it and you twerk it and you cry
y'all
It is a new day and we've got to protect our kids from what they deem as
This is it
Is this really it
Is this what?
We want our kids to watch and emulate or do we want them to emulate?
things that are more
valuable like
The videos or the singers or whatever that actually know they can keep their clothes on because
Their songs are that powerful. I don't remember Whitney Houston ever being naked in a video or
video in a bikini a thong
Popping stuff
But she is deemed one of the best singers ever think of some of the best singers I there too
I've spoke about more than once here Jasmine Sullivan and Selena Johnson
Even though they are highly rated I still think they're underrated right and they neck it for nobody
But I see them getting invitations everywhere. You know why they are being
Poised because of their voices and what they bring to the table not because of how many people they screwed in their
Reputations or how naked they are and I don't want to go down this rabbit hole
Which I don't even know why I started going down it other than to say
If you have school-aged kids
pay attention
Pay attention to what they're valuing what they're looking at because what happens is after a while
They're gonna want to start to look like that. They're gonna think that's what everybody is
In love with I gotta have that big this or that small that
and
Then they're gonna start body shaming themselves and then their friends are gonna body shame them too if they don't have it and
If you're not paying attention
That depressed child is your child that sad child is your child
Because we're not feeding our kids anymore
What's right and that's the love themselves in the skin they are in
Just the way they are now there's nothing wrong with some of us wanting to improve ourselves naturally
I went to a wedding yesterday my husband and I and I took these pictures. I thought I looked fly, you know
I'm a very basic person. I
I've said it million times. I don't wear weaves. I'm not into makeup
But I love to dress nice and I love hills so I curled my hair and
Took one minute and 14 seconds to put on a little makeup and
I took these pictures and I was like I look so fly and
Then I got home and looked at the pictures and all I noticed was how big my belly has gotten and I thought oh my god
I am so big on working out and exercising now
That bothers me enough to know I need to get my butt back out there and start doing what I
I've been doing all my life staying fit and exercising and taking care of myself
I still exercise don't get me wrong
But I haven't cared about what I was eating and it's been raining so much and it's been hot
Those are great excuses
It's raining it's hot
It's this it's that but I have all this workout equipment in my house and there is
In in the subdivision I live in there's a clubhouse with a weight room
But I have excuses and I have all my kids my grandkids are here
You know and I I can't do this and that because they're here, but they're excuses
So when I looked at those pictures of myself, I could have body-shamed myself which I probably will do but not in a
Really bad way
What I noticed is the first thing I did I sent my friend a picture and she was like
You upstage doing your husband upstage the bride and groom and my response was
Look at that stomach
I
Pointed it out to her. I pointed it out
We got to be careful about how we treat ourselves
We got to be careful about how we allow people to treat us and talk to us
Even when we see something we don't need other people pointing out our own imperfections
And it doesn't help it when we point it out to them and then we I don't know what we expect
I just expect you to agree with me, but a lot of people expect you to say no no no
You look great. You're fabulous
And when they don't get that they're setting themselves up for failure
This podcast is about a few things you guys number one
protecting each other
Protecting each other not just walking away, but protecting each other
If somebody called me right now and was you know what there's a great example
There's a family member who used to call me and all they did was bad mouth other family members
and
I said one day listen all you ever do is talk negatively when you call me. That's it
I hang up with you and I feel bad for people
And it shouldn't be that way when you call me don't call me to talk bad about other people
I don't want to hear it. I
Swear to you that was about three and a half years ago and that person has never called me again, and I'm okay with that
I'm sure they call other people who love that foolishness, but I am not on that
When you embarrass somebody or stop them in their tracks
They will either change their ways their behaviors or they'll cut you out of the equation any way it goes good
And then when you see them around another person and they're looking you up and down, you know, they found somebody on the same
Same band that they're on and that's a person, you know, you need to avoid to then right?
But what you do is you protect the people that they are trying to harm
verbally because it leads to emotional
mental
Abuse or pain or discouragement
People that cutting is real people cut themselves. They they get depressed. They start having anxiety
They're always worried about what other people saying think
Y'all let's get back to a place where we're just happy
We love ourselves and we love each other and if we don't like each other we know how to gracefully just don't
Father with each other. Why do we have to tell everybody when we don't care for somebody?
Because we want other people to feel the same way we do even if they do feel that way
That's their gripe to bear not yours
You want to know why such and such doesn't like such and such too all so y'all can compare notes
No, no
Your name is your name that person's names their their name whatever their griper issue is it's separate from yours
Even if it happened at the same time, we don't pick up things the same way
We don't share the same energy. We don't share the same minds
Let their issue be their issue and yours be your issue, but you don't have to come together
to
share the air and
Verbally assault a person, you know, I have to do that
You know, you cannot care for somebody and still greed them
You don't have to hug them embrace them and pretend like you care about what's going on in their life
There's nothing wrong with saying hello and keep it moving
You don't have to oh my god, look who it is
You don't have to do all that all it does is pull attention to you
Like I said, you don't like what somebody's doing on Facebook keep scrolling
You constantly don't like what they're doing unfriend them. Don't don't pretend to be their friend if all you want to do is find fault in them
You don't like the way somebody acts
Don't be around them, but you don't have to call other people to throw them under the bus or talk about them or share
That dislike and watch your kids so that they don't emulate
What you don't want them to emulate that's a lot for one podcast
But it was all on my heart and I had to get up and say it all
We've got to protect our kids. We've got to protect our friends. We've got to protect our family
We've got to protect our neighbors. We've got to get back to a time where we
We loved each other and we didn't want and we wanted to emulate our parents or our grandparents our aunties and our uncles
not
All these rich people whose lives we don't really know
We just see what they're doing on TV and in music and we think that's what we want
You don't know what you want because you don't know what they really have you just know what they're trying to show you
So you could spend more money on them
Like they said Beyonce is a billionaire and
Still charges more than most anybody for her concert tickets and people will forego their rent
To go to her concert
And then she goes home with her millionaire billionaire excuse me husband while you go home to an eviction notice
This is your girl Sonya McQueen. You might not have liked it, but you needed to hear it
You know how to find me. I'm Sonya M at ledbymotivation.com or
ledbymotivation07atgmail.com you have a great day on purpose and I will talk to you tomorrow