1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,880 Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with your mind your body your choice or 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,400 It's your life. What are you doing with it? I 3 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:13,560 did a 4 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:22,080 podcast yesterday or it was probably Friday if today is Monday, I have no idea what day I'm gonna post this but it was called 5 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,040 what you won't do for love and 6 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:30,880 It prompted a conversation and I want to tell you guys this is part two of that 7 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:38,720 What you won't do for love, you know, I I didn't realize so many people were 8 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:46,040 Love hungry or star for love and I mean the love of a significant other 9 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,680 I had no clue because I live in a bubble, right and 10 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,800 And most of my friends are in 11 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:59,320 relationships be it marriage or long-term relationships and I have some single friends and 12 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,720 one of them, you know, I spoke to 13 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,840 Regarding that last podcast, but let me tell you something 14 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:15,280 What you won't do for love is sell yourself short. There are people out there that 15 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,080 thrive off of 16 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:24,840 Love hungry people hurting people needy people they thrive off of it. They feed off of it 17 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,340 I'm part of something called the Broward County 18 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,320 human trafficking coalition and some of these 19 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:38,160 Women and men that are trafficked. It's because they ran away from home or 20 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,680 They wanted to believe something so badly 21 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:48,880 They fell for the first person who came along and showed them what they thought was genuine love 22 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,200 They fell for it. Oh 23 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:57,820 I got your back. I want to do this for you that for you and all they see is love love love 24 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,880 But they're missing all the signs 25 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,280 There are always signs the next thing you know, ah 26 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:10,480 You know, we're running a little short if you just do this 27 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:17,160 We'll be able to make that make ends meet if you just do that just sleep with this one person 28 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:22,120 Just just go to this one party and next thing you know 29 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,040 They are part of a bigger situation 30 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:34,400 Where so many men and women are pulled into is called human trafficking and they find out that person never really loved them 31 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,720 But mine by now it's too late 32 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,520 It's too late 33 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:47,280 Now you are selling yourself full-time seeing zero benefits from what you're doing and 34 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,560 That love 35 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,640 That you were seeking is 36 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,160 Hidden it's it's just gone. You don't even 37 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,040 Long for it anymore 38 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:04,880 You don't long for it anymore because you're just living your day now every day 39 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,160 You're just moving you're going through the motions 40 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:15,880 Not only with the human trafficking you guys, you know, you meet somebody and and if you love me 41 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:22,320 You would do this if you really love me you would do that, you know, if you love me 42 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:29,720 You would go and help me do this illegal thing you would help me rob this person 43 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:36,280 This person has stuff and we need it and if you love me you would help next thing, you know, you're helping 44 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:42,520 If you love me, you know, we've been having an affair for five years 45 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:47,360 And we have a child behind your wife's back if you love me you would get rid of her and 46 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,840 Be with me 47 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,440 Now this fool in prison for killing his wife to be with his side chick 48 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,280 Who's now moved on in her own life? 49 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,400 You know the things that you do sometimes in the name of love 50 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:07,160 That's illegal that's hurting other people are hurting yourself is 51 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:12,840 Ridiculous because if somebody really loved you they wouldn't ask you to do anything 52 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:17,600 That could potentially hurt you or somebody else 53 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:25,440 If somebody loved you for real they would think of ways to improve your situation and theirs at the same time 54 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:34,400 To make you a better person a stronger person not knock you back not take away from you not deflate you 55 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:39,800 They would have you feeling so good about yourself and life 56 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,600 Your feet wouldn't be able to touch the ground. You'd be so high 57 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,600 You'd be sitting on a pedestal so high 58 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,600 You would be worlds above everybody else in your own mind 59 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:52,600 That's love 60 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,600 Love doesn't hurt 61 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,600 Love doesn't bring pain 62 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:03,600 You know if you love me you would understand why I had to hit you every once in a while 63 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,600 You wouldn't think about leaving me if you love me just because 64 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,600 I gambled all the way all our money 65 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,600 and don't want to get help 66 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,600 Love doesn't hurt 67 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:22,600 Now there is a good kind of hurt from love. It's growth. I talked about it in the last last podcast 68 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,600 You grow from good love. I grew 69 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,600 Tremendously 70 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,600 If you didn't hear my podcast a couple of weeks ago 71 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,600 I spoke about how 72 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,600 Anybody could come to me 73 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,600 And talk to me about something they didn't like I was 74 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,600 Doing or said and I would have a real heart to heart but my husband couldn't 75 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,600 I had to grow 76 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,600 I had to grow and learn that even my husband should be able to come to me 77 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,600 And tell me what's bothering him, what's ailing him, what's hurting him 78 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,600 And I should have a heart for it 79 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:58,600 Because it is to build our relationship for the better 80 00:05:58,600 --> 00:05:59,600 Not to knock me down 81 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:01,600 Not to knock him down 82 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,600 And my treatment if you don't know 83 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,600 I came down 84 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,600 And my treatment of him previously trying to tell me these things was a notch off of him 85 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,600 It was hurtful to him 86 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,600 And I had to learn, I had to grow in love 87 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,600 But if you have somebody who's just coming to you telling you all that you're doing wrong 88 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:27,600 All the time and telling you to be a totally different person 89 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:28,600 They're grooming you 90 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,600 They're grooming you 91 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:35,600 They're threatening to leave you if you don't do this do that let them go 92 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:39,600 I know it's easier for me to say than for you to do 93 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,600 But I promise you 94 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:46,600 Nothing good is going to come from a relationship where somebody is just trying to make you 95 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,600 A totally different person 96 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:50,600 They're trying to break you 97 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:55,600 Emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, financially 98 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,600 It's all abuse 99 00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,600 It's all abuse 100 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,600 The first signs you need to be looking for exits 101 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,600 And there's always signs 102 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,600 Like I said the last podcast 103 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,600 There's always signs, always 104 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:24,600 Make sure you're being treated with real, genuine agape love 105 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:25,600 Love 106 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,600 I promise you guys, listen 107 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,600 I had a friend who 108 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:39,600 I want to say this, I'm going to change some things just in case anybody else knows this story 109 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:41,600 This is a real friend of mine 110 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,600 Who was in a relationship 111 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,600 And the person first started beating her 112 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,600 But would be so apologetic afterwards 113 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,600 And I'll do anything for you 114 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,600 I just love you so much 115 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,600 She started equating those beatings with 116 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,600 Well he only does it because he loves me 117 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:05,600 He loves me so much he could not fathom me leaving him or not being with him 118 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:10,600 And then all of a sudden it came to putting her out 119 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,600 Get out of this house, throwing her out, beating her and then throwing her out in the streets 120 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:16,600 With no money 121 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:18,600 Nothing 122 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:22,600 So now she's just sitting out 123 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:24,600 Nowhere to go 124 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,600 Walking, wondering 125 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,600 To the first time he put her out and somebody picked her up 126 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,600 Hey, you okay? 127 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,600 She breaks down and cries 128 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,600 Now this person, let me get you a room 129 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:44,600 That room became the first time she had to sleep with somebody else for somewhere to sleep 130 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,600 Right? 131 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,600 Then her husband apologizes 132 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,600 Oh I'm so sorry and come back 133 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,600 But then she gets put out another time 134 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:56,600 And she realizes 135 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,600 Well I don't have to wander around in the streets 136 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:05,600 All I gotta do is be here and somebody will pick me up and they'll get a room for the night 137 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,600 And that became her life 138 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:14,600 And now she's selling herself for a place to sleep 139 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,600 And a mill 140 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,600 Not asking for money 141 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:25,600 But occasionally somebody leaves money there because her husband's putting her out more and more and more 142 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,600 And next thing you know the husband's gone 143 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,600 She doesn't even realize when that happened 144 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,600 And all she's doing is being in the streets 145 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:39,600 Sleeping with people so she doesn't have to be in the streets 146 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,600 Sleeping with people so she can eat 147 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,600 From the very beginning he showed her who he was 148 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,600 The very first time he put his hands on her 149 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:57,600 Because she didn't cut a sandwich right and that's not an exaggeration 150 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:02,600 Putting his hands on her because she had on too much makeup and wove the thought of somebody else 151 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,600 Seeing his beautiful wife and wanting what he has 152 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,600 He beat her confidence out of her 153 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,600 And he beat her into the streets 154 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,600 I told you guys also about the friend I had who 155 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,600 She was gorgeous 156 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:22,600 And she would say to me 157 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:27,600 Yeah I know I'm a bad bitch, I know I'm a bad bitch 158 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,600 But the last time I seen her 159 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:31,600 Her head was downcast 160 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,600 She's looking at her feet 161 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,600 Her hair was all over her head 162 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,600 She had on this sweatsuit that was way too big 163 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:38,600 She had a child 164 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:42,600 And he had beat the confidence out of her 165 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,600 Eventually her dude beat the confidence out of her 166 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,600 He beat her so much 167 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,600 And she didn't want an escape route back then 168 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,600 But he beat her into another person 169 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:57,600 Is that love? 170 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,600 No it's not 171 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:01,600 It's not love 172 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,600 It's not the kind of love we long for we earn for 173 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:09,600 A lot of times people are beat by their parents 174 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,600 They're raised physically, mentally, sexually abused 175 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:14,600 And that's all they know 176 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,600 So they don't have to be afraid to do anything 177 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,600 They're mentally, sexually abused and that's all they know 178 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,600 So they end up with a partner who treats them in kind 179 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,600 And they think that that's love 180 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,600 I'm here to tell you today it's not 181 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,600 It's abuse 182 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,600 It's abuse and you deserve better 183 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:39,600 You deserve a healthy happy relationship 184 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,600 You deserve it 185 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:45,600 Your parents didn't do any rights by you 186 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,600 By letting you think this is the way life is 187 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:50,600 It's not 188 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,600 It's not 189 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,600 You deserve better 190 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,600 So when you're out there and you're looking for love 191 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,600 And you think oh I'd do anything for love 192 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,600 No you won't 193 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,600 Suck those words back up 194 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,600 Swallow them 195 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,600 I won't do anything for love 196 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,600 I won't do anything for love 197 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,600 But I know I'll get love because God is going to bless me 198 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,600 With love 199 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,600 Real love 200 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,600 Because when you do anything for love 201 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,600 You will relent to thinking anything is love 202 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,600 And once again love doesn't hurt 203 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,600 Love doesn't hurt 204 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,600 Love doesn't beat you 205 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:35,600 Curs you out 206 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,600 Call your names 207 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,600 Give you black eyes 208 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,600 Throw you out on the streets 209 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,600 That's not love 210 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,600 Love is all encompassing 211 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,600 It's warm 212 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,600 It's warm 213 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,600 It makes you feel so good inside 214 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,600 It just makes you feel like 215 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,600 My God 216 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,600 This is love 217 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,600 Love 218 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,600 It makes you feel like if that person wasn't there anymore 219 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,600 Maybe you don't want to be there anymore 220 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,600 Because you can't stand the thought 221 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,600 Of not having that anymore 222 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:19,600 You thank God for it every day 223 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,600 And it makes you a better person 224 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,600 It makes you a better person 225 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,600 Because of it 226 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,600 Alright you guys I had to say this because 227 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,600 Something came back to me 228 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,600 And I just couldn't go through this day without letting you know 229 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,600 All claimed love isn't real love 230 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,600 It's controlling it's manipulative 231 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,600 Sometimes it's even hate 232 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,600 People hate you 233 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:52,600 Some men hate women because of what they've been through 234 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:53,600 Some women hate men 235 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,600 Because of what they've been through 236 00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:00,600 Learn to love you 237 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,600 And not settle for anything less than somebody loving you back 238 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,600 It's me 239 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,600 Y'all know you can find me at 240 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,600 LeadbyMotivation07 at gmail.com 241 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,600 Or Sonya M 242 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:14,600 S-O-N-Y-A-M 243 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,600 At LeadbyMotivation.com 244 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,600 If you don't get our newsletter shame on you 245 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,600 All you gotta do is send me an email to get this free greatness 246 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,600 Have a great day on purpose 247 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,600 And there might be a part 3 of what you won't do for love 248 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,600 Who knows? Let's see what I get 249 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:53,600 Have a good day