Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening everybody. It's your girl Sonya McQueen with your mind your body your choice or
It's your life. What are you doing with it? I
did a
podcast yesterday or it was probably Friday if today is Monday, I have no idea what day I'm gonna post this but it was called
what you won't do for love and
It prompted a conversation and I want to tell you guys this is part two of that
What you won't do for love, you know, I I didn't realize so many people were
Love hungry or star for love and I mean the love of a significant other
I had no clue because I live in a bubble, right and
And most of my friends are in
relationships be it marriage or long-term relationships and I have some single friends and
one of them, you know, I spoke to
Regarding that last podcast, but let me tell you something
What you won't do for love is sell yourself short. There are people out there that
thrive off of
Love hungry people hurting people needy people they thrive off of it. They feed off of it
I'm part of something called the Broward County
human trafficking coalition and some of these
Women and men that are trafficked. It's because they ran away from home or
They wanted to believe something so badly
They fell for the first person who came along and showed them what they thought was genuine love
They fell for it. Oh
I got your back. I want to do this for you that for you and all they see is love love love
But they're missing all the signs
There are always signs the next thing you know, ah
You know, we're running a little short if you just do this
We'll be able to make that make ends meet if you just do that just sleep with this one person
Just just go to this one party and next thing you know
They are part of a bigger situation
Where so many men and women are pulled into is called human trafficking and they find out that person never really loved them
But mine by now it's too late
It's too late
Now you are selling yourself full-time seeing zero benefits from what you're doing and
That love
That you were seeking is
Hidden it's it's just gone. You don't even
Long for it anymore
You don't long for it anymore because you're just living your day now every day
You're just moving you're going through the motions
Not only with the human trafficking you guys, you know, you meet somebody and and if you love me
You would do this if you really love me you would do that, you know, if you love me
You would go and help me do this illegal thing you would help me rob this person
This person has stuff and we need it and if you love me you would help next thing, you know, you're helping
If you love me, you know, we've been having an affair for five years
And we have a child behind your wife's back if you love me you would get rid of her and
Be with me
Now this fool in prison for killing his wife to be with his side chick
Who's now moved on in her own life?
You know the things that you do sometimes in the name of love
That's illegal that's hurting other people are hurting yourself is
Ridiculous because if somebody really loved you they wouldn't ask you to do anything
That could potentially hurt you or somebody else
If somebody loved you for real they would think of ways to improve your situation and theirs at the same time
To make you a better person a stronger person not knock you back not take away from you not deflate you
They would have you feeling so good about yourself and life
Your feet wouldn't be able to touch the ground. You'd be so high
You'd be sitting on a pedestal so high
You would be worlds above everybody else in your own mind
That's love
Love doesn't hurt
Love doesn't bring pain
You know if you love me you would understand why I had to hit you every once in a while
You wouldn't think about leaving me if you love me just because
I gambled all the way all our money
and don't want to get help
Love doesn't hurt
Now there is a good kind of hurt from love. It's growth. I talked about it in the last last podcast
You grow from good love. I grew
Tremendously
If you didn't hear my podcast a couple of weeks ago
I spoke about how
Anybody could come to me
And talk to me about something they didn't like I was
Doing or said and I would have a real heart to heart but my husband couldn't
I had to grow
I had to grow and learn that even my husband should be able to come to me
And tell me what's bothering him, what's ailing him, what's hurting him
And I should have a heart for it
Because it is to build our relationship for the better
Not to knock me down
Not to knock him down
And my treatment if you don't know
I came down
And my treatment of him previously trying to tell me these things was a notch off of him
It was hurtful to him
And I had to learn, I had to grow in love
But if you have somebody who's just coming to you telling you all that you're doing wrong
All the time and telling you to be a totally different person
They're grooming you
They're threatening to leave you if you don't do this do that let them go
I know it's easier for me to say than for you to do
But I promise you
Nothing good is going to come from a relationship where somebody is just trying to make you
A totally different person
They're trying to break you
Emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, financially
It's all abuse
The first signs you need to be looking for exits
And there's always signs
Like I said the last podcast
There's always signs, always
Make sure you're being treated with real, genuine agape love
Love
I promise you guys, listen
I had a friend who
I want to say this, I'm going to change some things just in case anybody else knows this story
This is a real friend of mine
Who was in a relationship
And the person first started beating her
But would be so apologetic afterwards
And I'll do anything for you
I just love you so much
She started equating those beatings with
Well he only does it because he loves me
He loves me so much he could not fathom me leaving him or not being with him
And then all of a sudden it came to putting her out
Get out of this house, throwing her out, beating her and then throwing her out in the streets
With no money
Nothing
So now she's just sitting out
Nowhere to go
Walking, wondering
To the first time he put her out and somebody picked her up
Hey, you okay?
She breaks down and cries
Now this person, let me get you a room
That room became the first time she had to sleep with somebody else for somewhere to sleep
Right?
Then her husband apologizes
Oh I'm so sorry and come back
But then she gets put out another time
And she realizes
Well I don't have to wander around in the streets
All I gotta do is be here and somebody will pick me up and they'll get a room for the night
And that became her life
And now she's selling herself for a place to sleep
And a mill
Not asking for money
But occasionally somebody leaves money there because her husband's putting her out more and more and more
And next thing you know the husband's gone
She doesn't even realize when that happened
And all she's doing is being in the streets
Sleeping with people so she doesn't have to be in the streets
Sleeping with people so she can eat
From the very beginning he showed her who he was
The very first time he put his hands on her
Because she didn't cut a sandwich right and that's not an exaggeration
Putting his hands on her because she had on too much makeup and wove the thought of somebody else
Seeing his beautiful wife and wanting what he has
He beat her confidence out of her
And he beat her into the streets
I told you guys also about the friend I had who
She was gorgeous
And she would say to me
Yeah I know I'm a bad bitch, I know I'm a bad bitch
But the last time I seen her
Her head was downcast
She's looking at her feet
Her hair was all over her head
She had on this sweatsuit that was way too big
She had a child
And he had beat the confidence out of her
Eventually her dude beat the confidence out of her
He beat her so much
And she didn't want an escape route back then
But he beat her into another person
Is that love?
No it's not
It's not love
It's not the kind of love we long for we earn for
A lot of times people are beat by their parents
They're raised physically, mentally, sexually abused
And that's all they know
So they don't have to be afraid to do anything
They're mentally, sexually abused and that's all they know
So they end up with a partner who treats them in kind
And they think that that's love
I'm here to tell you today it's not
It's abuse
It's abuse and you deserve better
You deserve a healthy happy relationship
You deserve it
Your parents didn't do any rights by you
By letting you think this is the way life is
It's not
You deserve better
So when you're out there and you're looking for love
And you think oh I'd do anything for love
No you won't
Suck those words back up
Swallow them
I won't do anything for love
But I know I'll get love because God is going to bless me
With love
Real love
Because when you do anything for love
You will relent to thinking anything is love
And once again love doesn't hurt
Love doesn't hurt
Love doesn't beat you
Curs you out
Call your names
Give you black eyes
Throw you out on the streets
That's not love
Love is all encompassing
It's warm
It makes you feel so good inside
It just makes you feel like
My God
This is love
Love
It makes you feel like if that person wasn't there anymore
Maybe you don't want to be there anymore
Because you can't stand the thought
Of not having that anymore
You thank God for it every day
And it makes you a better person
It makes you a better person
Because of it
Alright you guys I had to say this because
Something came back to me
And I just couldn't go through this day without letting you know
All claimed love isn't real love
It's controlling it's manipulative
Sometimes it's even hate
People hate you
Some men hate women because of what they've been through
Some women hate men
Because of what they've been through
Learn to love you
And not settle for anything less than somebody loving you back
It's me
Y'all know you can find me at
LeadbyMotivation07 at gmail.com
Or Sonya M
S-O-N-Y-A-M
At LeadbyMotivation.com
If you don't get our newsletter shame on you
All you gotta do is send me an email to get this free greatness
Have a great day on purpose
And there might be a part 3 of what you won't do for love
Who knows? Let's see what I get
Have a good day