1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,940 Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening everybody. It's your girl, Sonya McQueen with It's your life. 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,440 What are you going to do with it? 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,780 Alright, so I have a question for you. 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,600 What would you do for love? 5 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:20,060 And I don't mean love from your parents or your siblings or your children your grandparents. I mean 6 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,100 Love from a mate, a spouse, a significant other, 7 00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:29,640 a husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend that 8 00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:31,140 genuinely 9 00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:36,660 loves you in the skin you're in. If you don't have that already, what would you do for it? 10 00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:40,380 Now this question came up about a week ago and 11 00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:45,180 so it prompted me to do something different and I asked three people 12 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:52,660 what they would do for love and I kind of got three different answers, but one of the answers really 13 00:00:52,660 --> 00:00:57,040 threw me off. So one person said nothing, 14 00:00:58,140 --> 00:00:59,380 nothing. 15 00:00:59,380 --> 00:01:08,280 If they hadn't found the love of their life, they would have kept going on about their life, living it the same way, 16 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:16,180 dating different people, having relations with them, and when it was over it was over. Just go to the next person. 17 00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:19,020 They just would have never married and 18 00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:23,860 they, they, even as a kid wanted to be married, 19 00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:29,620 but if they didn't get it, they just didn't get it. The second person said they would just, they would pray. 20 00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:35,920 They would pray for it and hope it comes one day, but you know, they're enjoying their life now, 21 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:44,980 but as they get older, you know, they hope to settle down one day and have a love of their own, the love of their life, 22 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,940 but the last person, 23 00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:52,900 the last person is what this podcast is about. 24 00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:57,900 So before I tell you about that, you know, we all love love in different ways. 25 00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:03,700 Everybody loves love in their own way. I love love songs. 26 00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:08,340 You know, when Mary J is going through something boy, she makes the best 27 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:14,980 love songs. I will sit and listen to crooning love music all 28 00:02:14,980 --> 00:02:19,300 day long. Love of the Lord because I love gospel and 29 00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:26,060 R&B, old school, or oh, I love love songs. 30 00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:31,140 I also love love in a different way than most women. 31 00:02:31,140 --> 00:02:37,740 You know, I'm not big on the cuddling and the constant touching and the having to sit next to each other. 32 00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,380 I'm not an end to any of that. 33 00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:45,700 I'm I am not a girly girl like that. And I'm gonna say girly girl, even though I know a lot of guys are like that too, 34 00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:51,500 but more women are the affectionate type. I'm not super affectionate, only with my kids. 35 00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:57,340 You know, when I see them, I always hug them and kiss them and when they leave for my presence, 36 00:02:57,340 --> 00:03:03,980 I always hug and kiss them. My daughter comes over a few times a week and I always greet her with a hug and I leave her with a kiss. 37 00:03:03,980 --> 00:03:10,860 So in my grandkids, I'm constantly kissing and hugging on them and telling them how much I love them. My husband, 38 00:03:12,300 --> 00:03:14,300 when I see him and think about it, 39 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,300 he gets the same kind of care. 40 00:03:17,420 --> 00:03:23,660 But I'm not an overly affectionate person, but I do love the fact that I know I 41 00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:29,340 am loved. I know my husband is in love with me. 42 00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:38,100 And it's not because he tells me, it's because he shows me. He shows me his deep love and devotion to me. 43 00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:43,580 Every fiber of his being says how much he loves me. 44 00:03:43,900 --> 00:03:50,100 And I feel it, I see it, I sense it, I know it, and I thank God for it. 45 00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:55,140 Because it's something that I didn't even know I wanted or yearned for. 46 00:03:55,140 --> 00:04:03,380 I never would have been the type to say, you know what, I pray for it. Or you know, well, I hope it comes one day. That just wasn't me. 47 00:04:04,180 --> 00:04:06,180 That just wasn't me. 48 00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:10,100 Now, I'm saying all that to get to the last one and the last one, 49 00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:16,100 it was a lady. I asked her what she would do for love and she said anything. 50 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:24,820 And I looked and I said anything and she said, I would sell my soul to the devil. 51 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:34,100 If I thought I could have a true love for the rest of my time on earth that loved me for me. 52 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:42,100 Y'all, that was number one heartbreaking to hear. You sell your soul to the devil. 53 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:46,100 How about praying to the Lord and asking for it? 54 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:50,100 You know, you went straight to the devil. That was number one. 55 00:04:50,100 --> 00:05:04,100 Number two, I don't really know this lady, but I know enough about her to know she shows a great deal of desperation. 56 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:10,100 And I don't know too many people who want somebody who is desperate. It's scary. 57 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:22,100 When you have somebody who's desperate for you, like they would deal with anything and right away they're in love and right away they want y'all, they're talking marriage or this or that. It's scary. 58 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:24,100 And it makes you run for the hills. 59 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:30,100 You know, those people sometimes turn out to be the ones who hurt you that you see on the screen. 60 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:38,100 Or they hurt themselves or they start stalking you or they're very hard to deal with. 61 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:46,100 So those things really scared me for her. And all I could think in my head was unique counseling. 62 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:56,100 Unique counseling, but who am I to tell her she needs counseling. So what I did instead was said, why would you say you'd sell your soul to the devil? 63 00:05:56,100 --> 00:06:04,100 She was like, well, I couldn't think of anything worse to do for love. I couldn't think of anything else worse to do. 64 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:12,100 So then my question was, have you thought of any good things to do for love? 65 00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:19,100 Sometimes we have to change things about ourselves for the better. I just spoke about this on another podcast. 66 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:31,100 We got to change things about ourselves for the better for that love. Now, there are people out there who want you to change yourself, but it's not the better you. 67 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:38,100 It's to meet their needs. And that's always a bad thing. You always, always have to close the door to those kind of relationships. 68 00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:43,100 People start telling you how to dress, how to put on makeup. 69 00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:50,100 I want you to dress this way. When I get home, you better be doing this and you need to, and they're outside of your character. 70 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:59,100 They're things that you're only doing for them. That relationship is not going to work because you're actually getting rid of yourself to please somebody else. 71 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:04,100 You're not even yourself anymore. That's not real love, right? 72 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:14,100 That's not love when somebody cannot appreciate or accept you the way you are. 73 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:25,100 They have to change you to meet their mental need, the way they picture the person that they love is going to be. 74 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:31,100 And now you're becoming that person for them. That's all bad. 75 00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:44,100 Those are bad changes. Those usually turn out to be emotionally abusive, mentally abusive, sometimes sexually abusive, financially abusive. 76 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:54,100 You do not want to be in any kind of abusive relationship because once you start changing things to please somebody else and you're not pleased anymore, 77 00:07:54,100 --> 00:08:04,100 but you are more worried about them, you're setting yourself up for nothing good. 78 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:13,100 You don't want to lose yourself to gain a person. You want that person to gain a whole person just like you're gaining a whole person, right? 79 00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:19,100 But sometimes you got to make changes for the good. I feel like I made changes for the good. 80 00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:30,100 You know, before I met my husband, I knew some really good guys, really good guys, and I know one of them listens to this podcast, really good guys, who loved me. 81 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:38,100 And I was fine with them until I knew how much they loved me. And then I wasn't fine anymore and I would find all kinds of fault at them. 82 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:42,100 I would say things and do things to get rid of them. 83 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:52,100 And when they were gone, it would be one of those few moments and I'd be like, boy, I almost, I almost messed up with that one. 84 00:08:52,100 --> 00:09:00,100 But actually, what I was doing was freeing them because I wasn't ready for that kind of love. 85 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:15,100 I had to. Number one, this podcast. Number two, surround myself with positive, good people. Number three, get out of my own head. 86 00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:21,100 Number four, start believing in myself and seeing myself in a positive way. 87 00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:25,100 Not the way so many of my own family members see me, right? 88 00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:32,100 And number five, trust and lean and believe in what the Lord says about me is true. 89 00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:40,100 And when I did those things and stopped doing some other things, I met the love of my life. 90 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:46,100 But it wasn't until I made those positive changes for me, not for him. 91 00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:52,100 I did not change me for Q. I changed me for me because I needed it. 92 00:09:52,100 --> 00:10:00,100 I needed a fresh start. I needed to see myself in a better light. 93 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:09,100 I needed to move in a more positive, intentional direction. 94 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:15,100 And once I did that, and I was like, while I do love myself, here comes Mr. Right. 95 00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:18,100 Mr. Right for me. 96 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:22,100 And next thing you know, I'm married and happy. 97 00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:29,100 If I would have married anybody before him, it would have been disastrous for them because I wouldn't have cared. 98 00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:33,100 I just had an I don't care attitude. 99 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:40,100 I don't know how to love people. So, you know, good luck with me attitude. 100 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:44,100 What would I have done for love? Absolutely nothing. 101 00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:58,100 But once I changed me and realized I was deserving of it, I would have prayed for it, appreciated it, and held it so dear to my heart. 102 00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:04,100 I would have treated it like I do. Precious, priceless. 103 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:08,100 Anybody else would want this. So I need to guard it. 104 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:11,100 This is a treasure. 105 00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:19,100 People look at it and they're like, I want that. 106 00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:23,100 So it shines and it's beautiful. 107 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:30,100 And I see people looking at it and I see people want it, but you can't have this one, but you can have your own. 108 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,100 Check that out. 109 00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:36,100 You can go get your own and it'll be equally as priceless. 110 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:42,100 And I promise you your soul can stay intact. 111 00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:45,100 The devil has nothing to do with you. 112 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:58,100 If you're selling your soul for love, chances are you're going to end up with one of his people because anybody can pull the wool over your eyes if you let him. 113 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:04,100 So, all right, you guys, I did this one because the question was posed of me. 114 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:15,100 So I'm posing it back to you. If you don't have love in your life, that kind of love, talking love of a partner, what would you do for it? 115 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:29,100 And if before it was something negative after listening to this positive podcast, I pray that you wouldn't do anything but support it, accept it, 116 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:34,100 and act like it's something you need in your life. 117 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:35,100 Right. 118 00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:41,100 Okay, you guys, it's your girl Sonia McQueen with your mind, your body, your choice. 119 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:51,100 You could always hit me up at Sonia M at LeadbyMotivation.com or you can hit us up at LeadbyMotivation07 at gmail.com. 120 00:12:51,100 --> 00:13:00,100 And if you don't get our newsletter yet, shame on you, it's a free newsletter full of love. I send it once a month in PDF form. 121 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:06,100 It's called Motivational Monthly. We are going into our eighth month this time around. 122 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:14,100 The newsletter used to go out to over 500 people in several different countries and it was extremely popular. 123 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:16,100 It was sensational actually. 124 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:22,100 It had lots of people who wanted to write for it and everything and I just stopped. 125 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:25,100 No reason other than I was trying to find myself. 126 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:28,100 But here I am, here I am. 127 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,100 So I started it again this year. 128 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:36,100 I'm probably at about 100 recipients right now and all of them can tell you I don't bother nobody. 129 00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:46,100 So, you know, if you want to get this greatness, just send me an email. If you want your church or your community to get this, just send me an email. 130 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:54,100 Have a great day on purpose and ask yourself, the relationship you're in now, is it a loving one? 131 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:57,100 Is it a loving one for both of you? 132 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:02,100 And if not, can it be fixed? And if it can't be fixed? 133 00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:09,100 I'm going to leave that there until next time. Have a great day.