Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening everybody. It's your girl, Sonya McQueen with It's your life.
What are you going to do with it?
Alright, so I have a question for you.
What would you do for love?
And I don't mean love from your parents or your siblings or your children your grandparents. I mean
Love from a mate, a spouse, a significant other,
a husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend that
genuinely
loves you in the skin you're in. If you don't have that already, what would you do for it?
Now this question came up about a week ago and
so it prompted me to do something different and I asked three people
what they would do for love and I kind of got three different answers, but one of the answers really
threw me off. So one person said nothing,
nothing.
If they hadn't found the love of their life, they would have kept going on about their life, living it the same way,
dating different people, having relations with them, and when it was over it was over. Just go to the next person.
They just would have never married and
they, they, even as a kid wanted to be married,
but if they didn't get it, they just didn't get it. The second person said they would just, they would pray.
They would pray for it and hope it comes one day, but you know, they're enjoying their life now,
but as they get older, you know, they hope to settle down one day and have a love of their own, the love of their life,
but the last person,
the last person is what this podcast is about.
So before I tell you about that, you know, we all love love in different ways.
Everybody loves love in their own way. I love love songs.
You know, when Mary J is going through something boy, she makes the best
love songs. I will sit and listen to crooning love music all
day long. Love of the Lord because I love gospel and
R&B, old school, or oh, I love love songs.
I also love love in a different way than most women.
You know, I'm not big on the cuddling and the constant touching and the having to sit next to each other.
I'm not an end to any of that.
I'm I am not a girly girl like that. And I'm gonna say girly girl, even though I know a lot of guys are like that too,
but more women are the affectionate type. I'm not super affectionate, only with my kids.
You know, when I see them, I always hug them and kiss them and when they leave for my presence,
I always hug and kiss them. My daughter comes over a few times a week and I always greet her with a hug and I leave her with a kiss.
So in my grandkids, I'm constantly kissing and hugging on them and telling them how much I love them. My husband,
when I see him and think about it,
he gets the same kind of care.
But I'm not an overly affectionate person, but I do love the fact that I know I
am loved. I know my husband is in love with me.
And it's not because he tells me, it's because he shows me. He shows me his deep love and devotion to me.
Every fiber of his being says how much he loves me.
And I feel it, I see it, I sense it, I know it, and I thank God for it.
Because it's something that I didn't even know I wanted or yearned for.
I never would have been the type to say, you know what, I pray for it. Or you know, well, I hope it comes one day. That just wasn't me.
That just wasn't me.
Now, I'm saying all that to get to the last one and the last one,
it was a lady. I asked her what she would do for love and she said anything.
And I looked and I said anything and she said, I would sell my soul to the devil.
If I thought I could have a true love for the rest of my time on earth that loved me for me.
Y'all, that was number one heartbreaking to hear. You sell your soul to the devil.
How about praying to the Lord and asking for it?
You know, you went straight to the devil. That was number one.
Number two, I don't really know this lady, but I know enough about her to know she shows a great deal of desperation.
And I don't know too many people who want somebody who is desperate. It's scary.
When you have somebody who's desperate for you, like they would deal with anything and right away they're in love and right away they want y'all, they're talking marriage or this or that. It's scary.
And it makes you run for the hills.
You know, those people sometimes turn out to be the ones who hurt you that you see on the screen.
Or they hurt themselves or they start stalking you or they're very hard to deal with.
So those things really scared me for her. And all I could think in my head was unique counseling.
Unique counseling, but who am I to tell her she needs counseling. So what I did instead was said, why would you say you'd sell your soul to the devil?
She was like, well, I couldn't think of anything worse to do for love. I couldn't think of anything else worse to do.
So then my question was, have you thought of any good things to do for love?
Sometimes we have to change things about ourselves for the better. I just spoke about this on another podcast.
We got to change things about ourselves for the better for that love. Now, there are people out there who want you to change yourself, but it's not the better you.
It's to meet their needs. And that's always a bad thing. You always, always have to close the door to those kind of relationships.
People start telling you how to dress, how to put on makeup.
I want you to dress this way. When I get home, you better be doing this and you need to, and they're outside of your character.
They're things that you're only doing for them. That relationship is not going to work because you're actually getting rid of yourself to please somebody else.
You're not even yourself anymore. That's not real love, right?
That's not love when somebody cannot appreciate or accept you the way you are.
They have to change you to meet their mental need, the way they picture the person that they love is going to be.
And now you're becoming that person for them. That's all bad.
Those are bad changes. Those usually turn out to be emotionally abusive, mentally abusive, sometimes sexually abusive, financially abusive.
You do not want to be in any kind of abusive relationship because once you start changing things to please somebody else and you're not pleased anymore,
but you are more worried about them, you're setting yourself up for nothing good.
You don't want to lose yourself to gain a person. You want that person to gain a whole person just like you're gaining a whole person, right?
But sometimes you got to make changes for the good. I feel like I made changes for the good.
You know, before I met my husband, I knew some really good guys, really good guys, and I know one of them listens to this podcast, really good guys, who loved me.
And I was fine with them until I knew how much they loved me. And then I wasn't fine anymore and I would find all kinds of fault at them.
I would say things and do things to get rid of them.
And when they were gone, it would be one of those few moments and I'd be like, boy, I almost, I almost messed up with that one.
But actually, what I was doing was freeing them because I wasn't ready for that kind of love.
I had to. Number one, this podcast. Number two, surround myself with positive, good people. Number three, get out of my own head.
Number four, start believing in myself and seeing myself in a positive way.
Not the way so many of my own family members see me, right?
And number five, trust and lean and believe in what the Lord says about me is true.
And when I did those things and stopped doing some other things, I met the love of my life.
But it wasn't until I made those positive changes for me, not for him.
I did not change me for Q. I changed me for me because I needed it.
I needed a fresh start. I needed to see myself in a better light.
I needed to move in a more positive, intentional direction.
And once I did that, and I was like, while I do love myself, here comes Mr. Right.
Mr. Right for me.
And next thing you know, I'm married and happy.
If I would have married anybody before him, it would have been disastrous for them because I wouldn't have cared.
I just had an I don't care attitude.
I don't know how to love people. So, you know, good luck with me attitude.
What would I have done for love? Absolutely nothing.
But once I changed me and realized I was deserving of it, I would have prayed for it, appreciated it, and held it so dear to my heart.
I would have treated it like I do. Precious, priceless.
Anybody else would want this. So I need to guard it.
This is a treasure.
People look at it and they're like, I want that.
So it shines and it's beautiful.
And I see people looking at it and I see people want it, but you can't have this one, but you can have your own.
Check that out.
You can go get your own and it'll be equally as priceless.
And I promise you your soul can stay intact.
The devil has nothing to do with you.
If you're selling your soul for love, chances are you're going to end up with one of his people because anybody can pull the wool over your eyes if you let him.
So, all right, you guys, I did this one because the question was posed of me.
So I'm posing it back to you. If you don't have love in your life, that kind of love, talking love of a partner, what would you do for it?
And if before it was something negative after listening to this positive podcast, I pray that you wouldn't do anything but support it, accept it,
and act like it's something you need in your life.
Right.
Okay, you guys, it's your girl Sonia McQueen with your mind, your body, your choice.
You could always hit me up at Sonia M at LeadbyMotivation.com or you can hit us up at LeadbyMotivation07 at gmail.com.
And if you don't get our newsletter yet, shame on you, it's a free newsletter full of love. I send it once a month in PDF form.
It's called Motivational Monthly. We are going into our eighth month this time around.
The newsletter used to go out to over 500 people in several different countries and it was extremely popular.
It was sensational actually.
It had lots of people who wanted to write for it and everything and I just stopped.
No reason other than I was trying to find myself.
But here I am, here I am.
So I started it again this year.
I'm probably at about 100 recipients right now and all of them can tell you I don't bother nobody.
So, you know, if you want to get this greatness, just send me an email. If you want your church or your community to get this, just send me an email.
Have a great day on purpose and ask yourself, the relationship you're in now, is it a loving one?
Is it a loving one for both of you?
And if not, can it be fixed? And if it can't be fixed?
I'm going to leave that there until next time. Have a great day.