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Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening everybody.

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It's your girl, Sonia McQueen, with your mind, your body, your choice.

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I was reading the scripture the other day, and I think it was in Psalms, and it was about

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God giving you your inner peace.

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And it reminded me of when I was younger.

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I went into the military when I was 17, and I was living my best life, I thought.

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You know, I created the identification cards in the military.

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I'm young, so I would create my own identification card, and I believe I created a couple for

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friends because back then we had the lamination machine.

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We would just take a picture, cut it, type the information on the card ourselves, laminate

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it, and give it out.

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And we didn't have any structure back then to keep count of, you know, there was no

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record of this, this identification card number should be with this person, and there was

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no sequence to it.

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There probably was, but we didn't have any record keeping to it.

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Anyhow, my ID card said I was 21, of course, so I could get in all the clubs, and if I

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wanted to go buy my beer, I could go buy my beer.

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You know, I'm thinking I'm living my best life.

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I'm living with my best friend and her husband, and we're going out every weekend and just

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having a good time.

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And then, of course, I meet my daughter's father.

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I get engaged at 18 and a half.

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I have her at 21, and I leave him, and still, you know, I have no sense of urgency, no sense

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of really honing down and becoming a professional, going back to school, because at the time

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I only had a high school education.

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Just living my best life, you know, going out on dates after him and I separated and

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meeting different people and still going to the club and enter and dance contests, having

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a ball, right?

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And maybe along the way you meet people who are your polar opposites.

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Maybe they go to church on Sundays.

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They don't party.

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They only, you know, they only have one person they're seeing or they've been seeing or they're

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married.

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They have no kids because they're not married.

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Just the opposite of you, and you think they're kind of boring.

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Or you envy them.

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It's one of the other.

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You envy them.

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I had a friend her name was Sabrina, and I think Sabrina was one year older than me, but

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Sabrina had her own place.

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She had a daughter.

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She had a career.

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She went to college, got out of college.

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I think we were both maybe, I was probably 20, so she was probably 21, 22, but her feet

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were on solid ground already.

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And here I am living with my best friend and her husband partying.

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I was a weekend warrior in the military.

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Didn't have another job.

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Didn't have a car, but I was having fun.

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I was having a good time.

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And I remember going to her house, having to sleep on her couch a couple of times for

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various reasons and not really feeling anything.

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But when I got older, I thought, man, Sabrina, I wish I could have been more in her ear or

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her been more in my ear back then.

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I was easily impressionable for positive things.

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I wasn't easily impressionable with negative things like my best friend was a heavy weed

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smoker and I never smoked.

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I had other friends that were on things I would never do, drug dealing, a couple of

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my guests were in gangs or something.

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I wasn't into any of that and you couldn't have talked me into being into any of it.

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But if maybe, maybe you never know, if somebody would have spoke positivity into me, I would

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have got on that because I remember somebody inviting me to church and I jumped on that.

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I jumped on it.

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But anyway, fast forward, years go by, years go by, and partying ceases and I become more

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responsible, especially after what ended up, when I ended up giving up my son, I ended

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up becoming, of course, you got to grow up.

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And I started finding friends that were nothing like that.

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They like to have fun, but they had fun at home or fun with their family or fun in atmosphere.

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And his fears were everybody around them.

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They knew, loved and trusted.

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And I like that.

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I became fast friends with people at my church who were fun.

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They weren't, every time you talk to them, hey, sister, oh, I'm highly favored sister,

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you know, that drives me crazy.

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You can just say, hey to somebody and you don't have to always mention your highly

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favored, your blessed, the God, God is with you.

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We got you.

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You can still, I hate it when people do that.

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Just write that down somewhere.

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It's okay to have a conversation without having to remind me you're saved or you're a Christian.

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But anyway, that became my new norm.

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Going back to school, getting an education, making more money, finding a profession became

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my new norm.

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Clubs were something I didn't even think of anymore.

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Dance contest, what's that?

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Malt liquor.

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I traded that for wine, you know, now I drink wine a couple of times a month instead of

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malt liquor every weekend.

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Everything changed.

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My mind matured.

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Even though I still wasn't 100% because you guys already know I had some issues, but my

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mind matured.

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And along with that, my heart matured.

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And I started wanting better and doing better.

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And with that, I got peace.

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And that peace is crazy because once you have that kind of peace in your life and you think

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about the lack of peace, the lack of discipline you might have had before, you don't know

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how you survived it and you don't understand how people don't seek peace.

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Before people get peace and they quickly gravitate back to the insanity.

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That's crazy to me.

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Once I got this peace, once I realized my worth and that I can make things happen in

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a positive way and especially with kids, you want your kids to be 10,000,000 million dollars

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and billion trillion gazillion percent better than you are.

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So if you're in the streets, you're just working the system and you're able-bodied, but you

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just feel like you could work the system.

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You smoking and you drinking and you sexing and you cursing and you talking all kinds

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of crazy around your kids and got your kids doing the same thing with you.

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What do you expect when they get older?

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Because you're not bringing peace to their life now.

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So many parents treat their kids like they are their best friends.

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I love my kids.

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I think everybody who knows me knows I love my kids, but they are just that grown as hell,

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32, 30 and 25, but they're still my kids.

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So I still present myself in a way in front of them that screams mom, not bestie, not

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ace, not all drinking buddy, let's go get wasted.

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That's not me and my kids.

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They know they can come to me with an issue and I'm going to be level headed about it.

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They know they're going to come here and I'm going to be in that kitchen whipping up some

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great meals for them.

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They're going to see me and my husband rubbing elbows and not saying cross things to each

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other or yelling or cursing or acting crazy.

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They're not going to see me twerking all around the house.

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They're not going to see my butt hanging out of my clothes and my boobs overflowing out

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of the top of my shirts.

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They're not going to see me sneaking to go talk on the phone to some other dude because

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I'm sneaking around behind my husband's back.

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They're not going to see me still in killing destroying anybody else.

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They're going to see peace, happiness, love, commitment, all these great things.

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My friends, they see the same thing.

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Yeah, I have a totally different group of friends now and it's okay.

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It's called growing.

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When some friends stay stagnant, they are stuck.

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You know how you have the lady who just turned 60 but she still wants to be 30 so she goes

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and gets the facelift and gets the injection in her lips and gets her the Botox and gets

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her boobs done and gets her butt lifted and bigger and walking around like she's still

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30.

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You look good, girl.

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I'm going to give you that.

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You look good.

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I'm going to give you your props but you're still 60.

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It didn't change your age.

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You're still 60 all day.

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So when that young guy comes up to you, are you going to tell him, oh, I'm 60?

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Are you going to lie and say, oh, I'm 30, 35 or whatever you're looking?

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I embrace my age.

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I embrace the change.

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I'm embracing this grade.

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I'm embracing the wrinkles when I smile because that's the only time I have them.

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I'm embracing it all.

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Gravity is real.

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I'm embracing it because my grandma's embraced it and my grandma's worked everything to

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me.

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My mother embraces it.

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My auntie's embraced it.

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It's okay to get older.

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Just don't get old.

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There's a difference.

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My daddy used to say, you're not old till the day you die until then he's just going

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to age and have a wonderful life.

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I'm a coinback.

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Those are beautiful words.

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Just growing peace.

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You know, on TikTok, there's a group of grandmas and I love it.

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They're older women, probably in their 70s, 80s.

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Maybe older, maybe a little younger.

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But they're dancing and rapping to bust the rhymes and Snoop Dogg and Ice Cube and WA.

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And I mean, make the stallion, little Kim, they're just hitting it.

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And I love those videos because they're enjoying their lives.

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I love that.

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But for some reason, I don't like the ones where, and this is my personal opinion, when

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you got parents with little kids and they got the same rappers talking about sexing

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and drinking and smoking and shooting up places in their oozes and their guns and killing.

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And they're doing those videos with their little kids.

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That bothers me.

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It hits me a different way than just seeing some adults having adult time.

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Even if I don't agree with it, even seeing a group of kids doing that.

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But when I see a parent doing it with their kids, it's different.

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I love to see kids being kids and having a peace and running around playing outside or

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playing their video games or whatever and not being too grown.

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Not being grown this day and age.

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These kids really don't have peace because they're too busy living their best lives because

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that's what they're being able to do.

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They're being able to wear, in my opinion, in my opinion, inappropriate clothing, you

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know, little bitty shorts.

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I went to my daughter's school.

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I don't know if I told you guys this before she's a math teacher at a middle school.

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And I went to an event.

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It was an outdoor event.

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And I kid you not when I say at least 60% of the girls.

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Now, these are middle school girls.

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Had on shorts so short their behinds were hanging out.

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Booty cheeks hanging out.

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And they had on low cut shirts and half shirts and the language of these kids.

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They were dropping F bombs.

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They didn't even care that their parents were around, teachers were around and nobody was

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correcting them.

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I was in shock.

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This is what this is what we have now.

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A generation.

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Even in high school, kids wouldn't have been so disrespectful around teachers and parents.

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Even in college.

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And I went late.

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The kids wouldn't have been so disrespectful.

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With those little 12, 13, maybe 14 year old kids.

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Horrible language.

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Dressing horribly.

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The fake eyelashes, the eyebrows, the weaves, the fainting at the nails.

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When are they able to be kids?

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When are they able to be kids?

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Last point.

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Because I want everybody to live in peace.

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When as an adult, you're going through things and you're telling your kids everything you're

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going through and your struggles and you're making them a part of your struggles.

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You're dead wrong.

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You're dead wrong because you're putting extra weight on a child that can't make a difference.

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I don't know what you expect from your child, your 10, 11 year old child.

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If you expect them to go get a job, drop out of school, go borrow money, go whatever.

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Cut that out.

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You figure it out.

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And if you can't figure it out, ask somebody to help you figure it out because there are

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too many resources out here these days.

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Too many.

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Drop the pride and go get help, but do not disturb your children's peace and expect them

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to become your partner when you struggle.

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It's not fair.

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Do not live in the past.

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Go find your peace if you don't have any.

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If somebody is bringing a whole bunch of turmoil into your life, release them.

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Embrace it and find your peace.

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Walk into it.

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Embrace it.

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Shut the door behind you and keep it moving.

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All right.

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This is your girl, Sonia.

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And I hope you have a great day or you're having a great day.

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It's almost the weekend.

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I cannot wait.

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You know, oh yeah, I'm sorry.

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You know where to find me.

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I'm Sonia M. S-O-N-Y-A-M at LeadByMotivation.com.

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You can hit us up at LeadByMotivation07.com.

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Some of this was based on what I read and some of it was based on something I heard

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from somebody else and they asked for my opinion.

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All right.

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Have a great day on purpose.