1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:20,360 Alright, well here we are again. David, it's another day, a great podcast I believe in 2 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:27,360 store for us today. We have made a decision to do some more interviews. Well, I guess 3 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:32,720 that decision was prodded along by our listeners who are enjoying them so much. But here we 4 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:39,200 are, Dave. How are you today? Good. I'm good, Scott. Beautiful day and excited about what 5 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:45,440 we're going to do today and share this time with a new friend. So let's get into it. 6 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:51,560 When we first started this podcast many, many episodes ago, we got an email from a friend 7 00:00:51,560 --> 00:01:00,120 of the podcast who said, hey, I have somebody that you guys absolutely have to interview. 8 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:06,960 This was probably around episode, I don't know, seven or eight. And he's been pretty 9 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:12,600 consistently persistent on recommending that we have this wonderful, wonderful lady that 10 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,680 David and I have had the opportunity to get a little bit acquainted with this morning 11 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:21,160 in preparation for this. So ladies and gentlemen, it's my great pleasure, Daph. I'm going to 12 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:25,480 go ahead and let you introduce yourself. But this is our friend, Daphne, who we're going 13 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:33,120 to have on the podcast today. Say hi, Daphne. Hello, everybody. Daphne, where are you, 14 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:40,440 Daphne? I am in sunny Florida. Yeah, we're up in. It's 24 degrees here in Utah right 15 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:50,160 now, by the way. And we are at 77. Okay. This calls over. Wow. We talked last week about 16 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:55,040 what I got to do for the winter. I know. I need to go to Florida. Just go to Florida. 17 00:01:55,040 --> 00:02:00,160 I'm sure that you've got plenty of recommended. Hey, are there golf courses there? Daphne? 18 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:06,320 There's just a few of them. Just a few. Every other block. Yeah, just a few. Like churches 19 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:10,720 here in Utah probably, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, there you go, David. I need to come 20 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:16,360 out there, Daphne, spend some time this winter. You will absolutely have a place to stay if 21 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,280 you want to come out and visit. Yeah. Okay, there you go. Thank you. There you go. So, 22 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:26,720 hey, as we've been going through this podcast over the last 30 some odd weeks now, we've 23 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:33,040 been really focusing on one thing, and that is the atonement, the power of Jesus Christ 24 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:37,480 that comes through his atonement. We're grateful for that. And we've been able to, according 25 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:43,680 to many emails that we're still receiving. We got several emails just this week, but 26 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:49,160 the emails that we're receiving and so on, we know that there are a lot of us that are 27 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:54,520 really getting a deeper look and a better relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus 28 00:02:54,520 --> 00:03:02,200 Christ as we do this. And Daphne is definitely an example of that in her life. She has had 29 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:08,000 some challenges. We're going to get into some of those, and she has embraced the atonement 30 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:12,360 of Jesus Christ and the power that comes through that, the power of change, the changing power 31 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:19,600 that is so important in our mortal sojourn here. And so, let's just kind of take it away, 32 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:28,160 David. Do you want to start this off? Yeah, absolutely. Daphne, you grew up a little 33 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:34,520 branch in Michigan. Your parents were converts to the church trying to recall your story, 34 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:39,520 and you jump in here and correct me, and then I'm going to have you kind of go into more 35 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:48,760 detail. But you grew up in Michigan in a small branch, and at the age of 18, you decided 36 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:58,000 to maybe become independent of the church. And, you know, as many adolescents do, they 37 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:05,400 have to find out for themselves. And you kind of struggled, and you were married when you 38 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:14,360 were how old? My first marriage was when I was 27. 27. So, no, no, no, I met him when, 39 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:21,280 sorry, I met him when I was 27. I was 29 when we got married. Okay, so from 18 to 27, you 40 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:31,840 were kind of living a life of what? Working and going to school and living with my boyfriend 41 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:39,800 at the time. I had a live-in boyfriend. We were together for quite some time, and investigating 42 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:51,400 a lot of other lifestyles. Okay. And that included checking out different religious types of 43 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:57,360 beliefs such as Wicca and things like that, but just a lot of different lifestyle choices 44 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:05,240 at that point. Okay. And you received your education. You were later principal of a charter 45 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:10,520 school, so what, where did you go to school and tell us a little bit about the role of 46 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:17,920 education in your life? Education was always huge in our family. That was probably the most 47 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,840 important thing that was ever pushed. And I loved school. I loved education. I loved 48 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:34,080 it. I have an associate in marketing, a bachelor's in environmental biology, and after, I know, 49 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:44,280 total disconnect there, and then after I got my life back together, I actually went back 50 00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:52,360 and I now have my MBA in non-profit administration as well. Okay. Well, but I never really left. 51 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:56,960 I'll be honest. I never really left college, even through all of that. I kept taking classes 52 00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:04,640 here and there and a lot of different subjects. Oh, that's awesome. And then you were married 53 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:13,200 at the age of 29 and you end up in Arizona and some things go, some things go bad. You 54 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:25,400 find yourself in an abusive relationship with a husband who's very controlling and manipulative 55 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:34,360 and some things go wrong and pretty soon you're running from the law, right? Yeah. There were 56 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:41,240 a lot of steps in between there, but that sums it up. Yes. Well, Daph, if there are some 57 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:46,520 of those steps that might be important for us to know, feel free to share those. Yeah. 58 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:59,040 So, yeah. Moved back, you know, moved out to Arizona for jobs and it was also, so away 59 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:06,720 from the family and away from any support network I had, but there was, you know, we 60 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:15,760 were working and when the arrest came down, it really felt like alone. I was alone at 61 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:26,640 that. And so was in jail for 10 months before being released out on bail. And my parents 62 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:35,120 worked so hard to do that for me. It was out on release of weight, you know, doing different 63 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:42,560 trials, different hearings and things for quite a number of years. And then things went, 64 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:49,800 got really bad again and ended up running from the law in Mexico. And technically I 65 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:56,480 had the permission to travel, so that wasn't actually, I didn't actually commit any crime 66 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:01,200 by traveling. It was a failure to appear. And anybody who knows the legal system will 67 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:05,320 understand, you know, the failure to appear. That's the only thing they had was that I 68 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:10,840 failed to appear for one of my hearings. I did not. And so, but I was, you know, in 69 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:16,640 Mexico for two years before I was picked back for, we were picked back up and brought back 70 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:23,480 to Arizona to finish out the hearings and trials and then eventually go to prison. 71 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:29,480 So when there's a failure to appear, they typically issue a bench warrant. Is that what, 72 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:35,480 and then they came to Mexico in search of you. Is that right? To extradite you back for your 73 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:43,000 hearing? Correct. Yes. So, yes. All right. So, so we know that we're not talking about, 74 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,280 we don't have to get into details, but we know we're not talking about shoplifting 75 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:52,440 a Snickers at Walmart. No, they don't, they don't extradite you from Mexico for something 76 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:57,200 like that and spend all the tax dollars, monies and everything like that that's involved. 77 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:02,640 So that was, there must have been a lot of anxiety and looking over your shoulder and 78 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:08,360 angst and sleepless insomniac nights and, and those types of things. Kind of talk about 79 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:15,680 that. There was, and I'm really glad you brought that up because there was a lot of anxiety. 80 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:24,200 And I happened to stumble across a book. The first residence I had in Mexico, I could see 81 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:30,800 the temple spire from my window. Mexico City Temple. The Mexico City Temple. And I could 82 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:37,720 see the spire and Angel Maroni from my window. And I would sit in a chair and literally all 83 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:44,600 night just stare at that and wondering how I would get to that point. Yeah. What, what 84 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:51,120 was going through your mind while you were sitting there staring at Angel Maroni? How 85 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:59,760 did I get here? How did I get out of this? What needs to happen? And a lot, a lot of 86 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:08,720 prayer at this point, I had, I started when I was back when we were first arrested. I 87 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:13,720 really had had a lot of longing feelings for going back to church. I had been going back 88 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:22,040 to church kind of before that. We had been going back for a bit, but not very, it wasn't 89 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:28,720 a very active spiritually. Sure. It was going through the motion. Yeah. So definitely, time 90 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:32,800 out for just to say, you say you had this desire to go back to church. Was the desire 91 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:39,160 to be in church or was the desire to fill what you felt when you were in church? That 92 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:44,600 and that is absolutely correct. It's that is absolutely the right point there is that 93 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:55,320 it really was that peace and sitting in the chapel and then and having that peace and 94 00:10:55,320 --> 00:11:00,360 then not having that peace when I would get home from church. Yeah. You know, you say 95 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:05,600 you were you were raised in the church a little bit or whatever, right? Did you did so you 96 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:12,160 went to church growing up, right? Yes. And so that that longing that we sometimes feel 97 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:17,800 is reminiscent of just some of the other earthly experiences that we have. I know. So David 98 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:23,200 is my uncle. When I would go in he's about seven years older than me, but when I would 99 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:27,560 go to his house, that's my grandma's house. My grandma was the safest person on the planet 100 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:32,000 for me. I have a picture of my grandma holding me as a little baby right there to help me 101 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:36,200 remember that I'm okay, you know, because when I feel like I'm a little bit messed up, 102 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,840 I just look at that picture and remember I'm safe, you know, and and when I would go to 103 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:46,360 my grandma and grandpa's house when I was struggling, I just longed to sit there and 104 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:50,440 bask in the feeling that I had there. That's kind of what you're explaining about going 105 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:55,360 back to church, right? And they you know, in the scriptures, they talk about that in 106 00:11:55,360 --> 00:12:01,760 circling you in the love of Christ and the arms of the arms of Christ, arms of mercy. 107 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:08,280 And and it really is that feeling that hug feeling, you know, we all as humans love 108 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:13,440 to be hugged. And I think that's part of it is that that spirit just felt like a giant 109 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:20,240 warm hug that it was, you know, that that this could be, you know, that that piece that 110 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:26,680 you would get for that moment. And you're right, it is my father was always my my safe 111 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:30,200 spot, my my does my grounding point. 112 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:34,240 Yeah, and you were looking for that similar feeling when you were going back to church, 113 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:39,240 but when you were sitting in that chair looking out that window at the temple of Mexico City 114 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:45,160 and the Angel Maroney Maroney, how often did you think, man, I've really messed up and 115 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:52,240 that'll never be part of my future again? Oh, a lot. Yeah. At that point, I was I was 116 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:57,880 yeah, I was still I did not know if that was ever going to be a part of my life again. 117 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:04,800 Yeah. And so we we sometimes in those situations look to that and long for what we in our minds 118 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:10,120 in our mortal fallen minds start to believe I really blew it and that'll never happen 119 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:15,200 for me. And then we really begin to beat ourselves up and we become a victim of our own abuse. 120 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:21,080 So now we're double victimized, right? Absolutely. Because you feel like, well, this is never 121 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:27,720 going to happen. So why should I even bother trying? Yeah. And things with the abuse of 122 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:33,160 X, it was I'm never going to get out of this. I'm going to be stuck with in this situation 123 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:38,160 with him as well, which means that I will never get to where I feel I need to be. Did 124 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:46,000 you ever feel like you deserved that? Sometimes. Yeah. And it was interesting because sometimes 125 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,440 not it's like I'm better than this. I can and then it was other times. Well, you brought 126 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:53,640 yourself to this situation. So you know, you got to you brought yourself here. You got 127 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:57,880 to suck it up and deal with it. Yeah, suck it up and deal with it. That's right. So you 128 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:08,480 mentioned you mentioned that some senior missionary couple in Mexico City working at the temple 129 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:15,560 had some sort of a positive influence on you. Daphne, do you want to describe that relationship? 130 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:25,160 There were two couples that really took me under their wing. And the one I am pretty 131 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:32,480 sure knew what was going on. The other didn't. But they didn't the spirit, you know, the 132 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:39,880 spirit can talk to you and and tell and not just me, but tell them they knew what I needed. 133 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:46,200 And that I'm a very educated, as I said, I'm a very educationally based person. And so 134 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:50,880 I have a tendency to be literal minded sometimes. And I want facts. I want details. I want to 135 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:57,600 learn. I need to know those types of things. That's what helps me get through and helps 136 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:05,360 me figure things out. And so sitting there listening to them talk about the scriptures 137 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:09,920 and talk about the Savior and how much they loved it. And I didn't have my own parents 138 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:16,800 there. And my parents loved the Savior. And I didn't and I couldn't even communicate with 139 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:23,200 them. If I communicated with my family, they would have been arrested. And and so having 140 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:30,240 these other people there that could kind of fill that role. Angels, angels. They really 141 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:37,360 were they really were angels and and helping fill that role of guidance and and how to 142 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:43,360 connect with the spirit, how to connect with the Savior and how to connect with the and 143 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:48,440 and these feelings I was having. And in many instances, I don't think they realized that's 144 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:56,600 what they were doing. It was a it was a very much and and the interesting part is that 145 00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:01,040 it was another senior couple that was there. That was the reason that I was picked back 146 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:09,640 up and taken back to Arizona. They figured out who I was and turned me in to the authorities. 147 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:15,480 How did you feel about that? You know, I there's a bit that's angry, you 148 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:19,320 know, the in the past. How did you let's do it this way? How did you feel about it then 149 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:25,880 and how do you feel about it now? Right at the immediate reaction is anger. Yeah. And 150 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:29,480 how could you do that? You don't know me. How can you put me in that? You don't know 151 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:35,760 my situation. You don't know what's going on. And and then it didn't take and I'll be honest, 152 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:42,000 it didn't take too long for me to figure out that that was the blessing that I needed that 153 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:49,360 because there's no way I could have completed my spiritual journey without finishing this 154 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:55,720 legal journey. So you're legal. Go ahead. I wasn't say that legal journey 155 00:16:55,720 --> 00:17:00,880 had to be dealt with and over with before I could continue on my spiritual path that 156 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:07,360 I knew I needed to be on. Okay. Thank you. So Daphne, you're extradited. 157 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:16,320 You go back to Arizona. You spend some six and a half years in in in jail, Arizona, a 158 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:21,000 little bit of time in Michigan even, right? Yeah, a couple. Yeah, six months in Michigan, 159 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:27,080 six years in Arizona. Okay. And then you end up with your sister 160 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:36,360 in Florida. And you're looking for a way to get out of an abusive relationship. Tell us 161 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:40,720 what happens there. Well, tell us if anything about the prison experience six and a half 162 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:49,720 years. Did you feel the savior in prison? All of the time. It was these are my favorite 163 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:55,600 stories when so we had yeah, so we had Scott Harmon on who episode I don't remember that 164 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:59,320 spent several years in prison. We have another one that'll be coming out as well that spent 165 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:04,280 I think 12 years in prison. And now we have you and these are my favorite stories is hearing 166 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:11,000 about the tender mercies of a loving savior who will go where we are. He descended below 167 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:15,440 all things. We read about that in Alma, right? He descended below all things so that he could 168 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:20,680 know how to sucker us in the flesh. Here he is suckering you in the flesh because he descended 169 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:25,720 below that. Tell us about that. And and elder Oaks president Oaks gave a talk years ago, 170 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:31,400 Daphne. I don't know if you remember it, but he he reads a letter this in general conference 171 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:39,200 and he reads a letter from an inmate in a prison talking about the savior walking in 172 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:45,520 the halls of the prison and elder Oaks bearing testimony of the love of the savior in our 173 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:55,240 life. Did you feel that experience? Every day. Absolutely. There was there's quite a few. 174 00:18:55,240 --> 00:19:03,360 There's the first one that that my memory has is I was also because of the nature of 175 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:13,320 my offense. I was in I was also in solitary confinement. I was in protective custody. 176 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:21,160 And so I wasn't at first and that actually was a huge problem because of the threats 177 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,320 against me and things to that nature, but I was protected every step of the way. And 178 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:31,000 then I was put into protective custody. And this was a blessing because I actually had 179 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:38,200 access to the TV by myself. And I could choose what I watched and I had it on BYU channel 180 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:43,880 just about every minute I could. And there was a talk and you know how they'll do the 181 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,280 talks at least they used to I'm not sure if they still do, but they would regularly put 182 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:55,440 talks BYU devotionals. Yep devotionals different conference talks. Yeah, right. Like that. 183 00:19:55,440 --> 00:20:00,840 And there was one from Elder Holland when he was the president of BYU. And I think it 184 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:12,080 was 1986. It was submitting to the will of the father and all things. And it I I broke 185 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,360 down and I still when I read that when I when I go through and I read it, I still break 186 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:25,200 down. I just I it was submitting my will to his was so important because that is part 187 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:33,040 of in my opinion, part of the repentance process is understanding that we need to change. And 188 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:41,920 one of the things about that particular talk is I could feel Elder Holland's love. Yeah, 189 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:50,200 for me, for me as a person, setting in prison, sitting in prison. This is a decade or more. 190 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:57,760 This is a couple of decades later. And through time and space, and I could feel his love 191 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:07,080 for me. And that this message was for me right now. And the spirit was just he wasn't whispering, 192 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:14,000 he was hollering at me. This is what you need to take to heart right now. This is the end. 193 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,520 And I knew it was going to be a process, but that was the what you need to know right now. 194 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:24,200 And I immediately called my sister and said, Can you get me this talk on paper? Can you 195 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:31,280 find this for me on the internet? And she did and she sent me a copy. And before every 196 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:40,360 single hearing, I would sit down and read through that talk every before every hearing. 197 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:46,520 And to remind myself because while while yes, we have these wonderful spiritual experiences, 198 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:54,040 they don't last forever. And we need to keep bringing them back. And to remind me that 199 00:21:54,040 --> 00:22:01,200 the will of the father was going to be done. And that some of this was all through his 200 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:07,600 will. And I would, it would help me have that peace and that calm, the spirit would then, 201 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:15,840 you know, bring that peace and that calm back to me. So I could get through the hearing. 202 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:21,760 Because of what happened to me in jail as well, there were some jail was the first time 203 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:29,480 I knew the first 10 months were very difficult and led to some PTSD. And I already had anxiety 204 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:34,800 issues and this led to some full blown PTSD afterwards because of some things that happened 205 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:42,880 to me. And it was and so that calming effect became even more important and more necessary 206 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:50,040 for me having that the spirit just whisper and just keep pushing me that it's okay, 207 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:57,600 we got this. That was an incredible testimony, creating and testimony building for me. And 208 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,520 there were many and she my sister then got into the habit of sending me regular talks 209 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:10,280 of stuff she would find. What was the role of daily scripture study and prayer while 210 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:17,880 you were incarcerated? That I absolutely I mean it wasn't in most 211 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,680 of us we know if we're lucky to get a half hour in daily scripture study and prayer, 212 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:27,720 you know, that's kind of a lucky thing. And my mom used to call it my mission time. I 213 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:33,960 was this was my mission time. Yeah, I never served one. So this is what I'm doing now. 214 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:41,160 And so I was able to and it was it was so wonderful to be able to have that time to 215 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:48,480 really study and not just read but to study and ponder as they say. Yeah. And to learn 216 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:55,400 and daily prayer. Daily prayer. Yeah, it was not just daily. I think it was hourly or sometimes 217 00:23:55,400 --> 00:24:03,880 more constant. There was a lot of constant prayer there. There were and and it's one 218 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:12,000 of those things for me the I don't always feel like there are a few big ah ha crying 219 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:17,520 moments, you know, crying out type of moments. There are a couple of but for me it was more 220 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:23,680 of a slow build up. And it was a constant build up. It was a when we talk about line 221 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:29,440 upon line precept upon precept. That's really how I felt my journey through this repentance 222 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:35,960 and finding the Savior and and really feeling his love for me was this very slow gradual 223 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:42,880 thing. It's a process, not an event. Absolutely. There were a couple of times when there were 224 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:51,400 events that spoke to me louder than others. But I really felt like as I looked back that 225 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:58,320 it was this this wonderful build up for me. How about those events that maybe spoke loudly 226 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:02,440 but some more loudly than others? Do you have one in mind that maybe you could share with 227 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:13,920 us? I it's a little different, but it's it's one that helps me stay grounded to you know 228 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:22,360 what what the Savior there was an incident in the prison and they were doing a huge shake 229 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:29,120 down. Every everything was getting tossed. And there were some of the girls that were 230 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:36,800 having to go through more than others. And I could see it happening out my window. And 231 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:45,480 I don't know I had this overwhelming sadness and fear come over me. And it wasn't fear 232 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:49,200 for me or sadness for me. It was the women that were going through what they were going 233 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:57,080 through at that time. It was it was just horrifying for them. And I could feel it and it hurt 234 00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:03,000 physically and emotionally. And I've always had the sympathy and the empathy. But this 235 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:08,960 was one of those that just and I was set and I remember collapsing on the floor in myself 236 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:15,160 crying. These poor women and I had gotten to know so many of them and their stories 237 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:20,280 and what they had been through. And I'm like and I remember crying Lord, why am I feeling 238 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:28,120 this? Why do I have to go through what they're going through? Because I could feel it. And 239 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:34,720 the and it was such a clear answer that it was so that you understand just a little bit 240 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:43,520 of what I went through for you. Wow. What does that make you emotional? Because he went 241 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:48,360 through so much for me and I just and that and I remember the word that little bit I 242 00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:55,520 went through for you. Those words were important because it reminds me of how much that it 243 00:26:55,520 --> 00:27:00,320 was so much more than we can comprehend ever comprehend of what he's done for us. 244 00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:07,280 So Daphne, we talk in this podcast about rock bottoms sometimes and that sounds like that 245 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:12,080 may have been one of your rock bottoms, you know, is on that floor of the jail cell there 246 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:20,240 and in prison rather and having that experience. But we've also talked about and you just you 247 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:25,640 just articulated this. I think I'll just expand it a little bit. But you just said that while 248 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:32,120 you were there, you felt a calm and a peace. Is that right? And because because you knew 249 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:36,720 what he had been through. And the only reason you knew what he had been through is because 250 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:44,320 in that moment, it sounds like you were visiting him at his rock bottom at the cross. That 251 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:51,840 is an accurate assessment of it. I really it was such an I and a very personal. It's 252 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:58,320 not something I'll be honest. I don't think I've ever shared that story with anybody because 253 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:06,280 it was so personal, but it was very real that this that to have that glimpse, little glimpse 254 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:11,680 into the Gethsemane and you know, we all go through our Gethsemane moment, but his was 255 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:20,920 so much more. Yeah. And and you know, and to know that how much he loved me. You individually. 256 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:25,440 So you're saying Daphne, you believe that he loves you individually. He visited you 257 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:31,360 individually in that horrific situation with all the chaos and hellishness that's going 258 00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:39,160 on around you. He visited you because of his deep love for you. Exactly. He knows my name. 259 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:45,720 He knows me. He loves me. Our savior, you know, and when I'm teaching gospel doctrine, 260 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:50,080 which is what I do now is my calling at the moment when I'm teaching gospel doctrine. 261 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:56,000 And that is something that I think that I try to get through to everybody is he loves you 262 00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:02,520 no matter what he loves you. He knows you. You are a child of God. You are our savior's 263 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:07,760 brother or sister and how much he loves you and wants you near him. That's powerful. 264 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:12,520 He wants our his you know, we want our families nearby us and we want to have this wonderful 265 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:17,840 relationship with each other. He feels the same way and he went through Gethsemane for 266 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:22,880 you as an individual and for me as Daphne. Yeah. And and it's a there's a difference 267 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:32,840 Daphne between us going through our Gethsemane and getting a glimpse of the real Gethsemane 268 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:39,120 that he went through. I mean, I mean, it's I to really we've talked about on this podcast 269 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:45,080 that to really meet the conditions of repentance, Daphne, which we have described, which the 270 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:51,440 Book of Mormon, I believe describes is a broken heart and contrite spirit that what really 271 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:58,920 leads up to that broken heart and contrite spirit is to buy the power of the spirit, 272 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:08,400 be able to get a glimpse of Christ in Gethsemane and his suffering for us. That Gethsemane, 273 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:18,080 his Gethsemane and getting a glimpse of that is so much more powerful than to suffer for 274 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:25,200 suffer ourselves and to kind of have our own little Gethsemane moments, right? Absolutely. 275 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,960 You know, we go through our own and but it's very individual. It's well, I'm suffering 276 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:34,120 because I did something. I'm suffering because of me. When you realize that somebody else 277 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:39,560 suffered because of you. Yeah. Or not because of you, but for you. And there's a there's 278 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:46,720 a very distinct difference between the two. He suffered for us. Amen. And and and that's 279 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:51,560 a very different thing because we're all willing to put ourselves at risk. Yeah. But are we 280 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:56,120 willing to put somebody else at risk? Yeah, loves us that way. Well, that's amazing that 281 00:30:56,120 --> 00:31:02,880 you got a glimpse of that as you suffered for women watching them suffer. I think that's 282 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:11,560 just a powerful story. So after spending six and a half years incarcerated in and out. 283 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:16,560 Arizona a little time in Michigan, you end up in Florida with your sister and described 284 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:22,680 to us about some of the events that happened in Florida and how you kind of get back into 285 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:31,800 the into the church and you continue in this process through repentance. Well, in prison, 286 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:38,040 I was very active. We did have an LDS set of missionary prison missionaries that would 287 00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:47,280 come in weekly for us. Very active with that and active within in trying to stay up on 288 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:53,440 my readings and things to that nature. I was also writing back and forth with my ex. We 289 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:59,920 were allowed because we were married. We were allowed to actually write to each other. And 290 00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:08,000 as release started getting closer, I was scared. Not so much scared of getting out. I mean, 291 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,320 there's always the fears of homelessness and taking care of yourself and finding a job 292 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:17,200 and things like that upon release. I was more scared that I was going to be going back into 293 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:24,160 a situation that would not allow me to go through the repentance process properly, to 294 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:29,760 do what I needed, that I knew I needed to do. And in our letters back and forth, there 295 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:35,920 were threats if I had contacted the bishop and told him what was going on. But I also 296 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:41,400 knew it was what I needed to do. That's what the Savior is the head of our church and the 297 00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:49,080 church has asked us to do to go through this process and that's what I needed to do. And 298 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:58,240 when I got out and immediately went into my bishop, the first day there made the appointment 299 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:07,400 with my bishop that I need to talk. We need to talk and sat down and told him what had 300 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:12,440 happened. And he looked at me and said, you know, you could have gone through your whole 301 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:18,480 life, you know, insisting that you were innocent as you had been doing and never said a word 302 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:23,480 and nobody would have questioned you. Nobody would have said anything. You could have gone 303 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:29,280 through the whole time and nobody would have said anything. And in fact, my ex never did 304 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:33,680 go through any type of membership council or any type of, he never did admit to what 305 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:39,960 he had done. But I was like, yeah, but that's not the way it's supposed to happen. I will 306 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:48,960 not, I cannot finish my repentance process until I have done what I know is asked of 307 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:59,640 us. And he, so we had called it disciplinary councils at the time. And I was ex, you know, 308 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:05,520 my I was excommunicated, my name was taken off the rolls. And he did say, you know, 309 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:11,400 all right, let, you know, we'll get you back, you know, we'll get you back in a year, you 310 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:17,680 know, and, and I, I was okay with it. It was interesting. And he told me at the time, because, 311 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:21,880 you know, you didn't have, you weren't in doubt, you hadn't been to the temple yet. 312 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:29,160 So we had the choice of whether we were going to do a disfellowship or an excommunication 313 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:35,400 because but I feel like that you don't forgive yourself easily and that you're going to need 314 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:43,120 this rebaptism process for you personally. And at the time, well, you know, I was thinking, 315 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:51,120 well, yeah, I do I am hard on myself. I didn't realize just how hard on myself I could be. 316 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:57,680 And how important going through that rebaptism process was going to be and feeling that that 317 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:06,600 washed clean feeling and and losing the Holy Ghost for a while and getting it back. During 318 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:11,840 my time in prison, as I said, I had this incredible I developed an incredible relationship with 319 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:21,880 my savior, but I still didn't feel forgiven. I, you know, I just felt like there wasn't 320 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:28,200 a whole what could I do? And it is, it is an ongoing process of that, the repentance 321 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:34,320 of feeling that that feeling that yes, you really are and it took a bit and I'm really 322 00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:43,440 glad that I was removed from the church roles for a while because that enabled me to spend 323 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:47,000 more time thinking about it. I think if I had been left there, I just would have gone 324 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:51,040 on with life as it was. Okay, life's just continuing. 325 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,440 Now as you look back on it and you've been you've been a member now you were rebaptized 326 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:56,440 how long ago? 327 00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:05,800 I was rebaptized in 2016. Okay, so you've been a member again for six years. As you 328 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:12,840 look back on all of those years that you weren't a member, even before you were rebaptized, 329 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:20,600 do you feel like the Lord had forgiven you and you just weren't receiving his forgiveness? 330 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:26,760 Or do you feel like it wasn't until you were rebaptized that you were forgiven? As you 331 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:32,280 look back on it, where do you think what I know it is line up online precept, oh, precept, 332 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:36,560 I really love what you said about that and I believe that too. But at what point do you 333 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:41,120 think that you were forgiven? 334 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:51,560 So in all seriousness, and I'm glad you brought that up. Again, there was a time there were 335 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:57,040 many moments in prison and in jail where I did feel forgiven. And there was those those 336 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,360 whisperings and sometimes I call them the bricks over the head because sometimes I don't 337 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,200 listen to whispers very well. I sometimes need a brick over the head. 338 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:09,080 Instead of the still small voice, you need the loud, large voice. 339 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,960 Yes, yes, I do. 340 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,440 That's fair. 341 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:23,680 Yeah, there were absolutely times where I felt that and even heard that in my head, 342 00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:31,640 it's okay. You are, you know, the Savior took this on for you. You are forgiven. And but 343 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,680 we beat ourselves up. 344 00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:40,280 And comes in, Saint comes in, shames us, shames us, tell us we'll never be good enough. 345 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:47,640 Yes, I totally agree. And that's really it's Satan whispering those doubts to you that how 346 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:52,880 could he forgive you for that really? And you know, that was so horrible what you allowed 347 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:54,600 to happen and what you did. 348 00:37:54,600 --> 00:38:03,440 And he wants you to identify with your sins instead of identifying with your Savior. 349 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:08,080 One of the things I learned to do, I music, besides education, music has always been a 350 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:12,800 huge part of our family. And I grew up in a very musical family. You talked about some 351 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:18,600 of the others where music was such a part of their life, it was my, you know, the, that 352 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:23,560 peace part and power and peace of music. 353 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:30,280 Music is an incredible, powerful tool that we have. And I would, I really enjoy, I love 354 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:36,320 the hymn. Don't get me wrong. I love the hymn, but I also really enjoy contemporary Christian 355 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:37,320 music. 356 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,320 Mm hmm. 357 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:39,320 So do I. 358 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:43,720 Mercy me, casting crown, Matthew West, all of, so we were allowed a little, we were allowed 359 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:50,680 a CD player with a rate that had a radio on it while in prison. And when I would have 360 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:56,600 those moments, and so there were a couple of different types, I would either those moments 361 00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:03,600 of doubts and getting beating myself up. And sometimes also those PTSD moments where I 362 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:08,240 would start to, my brain would start to spiral out of control. 363 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:15,280 If I could get my earbuds on and just flip that switch and get the earbuds on, immediate 364 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:24,960 call me. Casting crowns east to west is one of them that really, and there is big daddy 365 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:29,600 weave does. If you could see what is, I'm trying to remember the title of it, but big daddy 366 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:36,760 weave does one that is basically if you could see yourself the way the way God sees you, 367 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:37,760 the way it sees you. 368 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:38,760 Yep. 369 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,800 I can't remember the title, but those two, but yet east to west by casting crowns was 370 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,600 a huge one for me. 371 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,560 How far it is from the east to the west. 372 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,640 How about Gilles, give me Jesus. 373 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:50,640 Yeah. 374 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,840 Oh yes, that one. Yes. 375 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,840 Do you remember, do you know that one? 376 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:55,840 I do. 377 00:39:55,840 --> 00:40:00,360 That's one of my go to. 378 00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:06,960 And my current one is with Danny Goki. And you just haven't seen it yet. 379 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,200 What is it? One more time you broke up right there. 380 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:14,200 I'm sorry. Danny Goki is the artist and American Idol. 381 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:17,000 Oh, I didn't know he was American Idol. 382 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,840 I think so. 383 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:27,720 You just haven't seen it yet. And there's a phrase in there. 384 00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:30,840 He had the solution before you had the problem. 385 00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:34,920 Wow, sweet. 386 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,120 And that just hits home so much. 387 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,560 So sweet. 388 00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:45,480 With knowing that you're forgiven, he knew that we were human. We were going to have 389 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:46,480 these struggles. 390 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:47,480 Yeah. 391 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:53,440 And that saved you for us. And the Savior went along and agreed and sacrificed himself 392 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:54,440 for us. 393 00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:55,440 Yes. 394 00:40:55,440 --> 00:41:04,120 And so music was also a very big part of that in helping me to stay on that mindset and not 395 00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,720 letting Satan crawl in my brain. 396 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:13,960 So you did feel forgiven off and on, which I believe is really the case. If people would 397 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:23,040 really be able to identify it. We've taught many times in this podcast that the Holy Ghost, 398 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:28,280 the Spirit of the Lord is the messenger and the administrator of the Atonement of Christ 399 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:33,600 in our life. And that whenever we feel the Spirit, Daphne, that we should immediately, 400 00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:37,720 our thoughts should go to the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And we should know that the 401 00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:43,680 Atonement of Jesus Christ is working in our life and that we're being forgiven every time 402 00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,920 we feel the Spirit. 403 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:52,560 And your experience is confirming all that. But let's go back to Florida for just a minute. 404 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:57,520 By the way, I love your bishop that you had in Florida. He's a good friend of mine. We 405 00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:04,920 share the same grandchildren. I love him and his family very much. And so grateful that 406 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:13,280 your paths crossed that he was an angel in your life, helping you to come back. 407 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:18,880 And so you go through a disciplinary counsel, you're excommunicated, but you stay active 408 00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:27,640 in the church, you divorce your husband, you get out of an abusive relationship, you're 409 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:34,840 rebaptized and go from there. Talk a little bit about your rebaptism and coming back into 410 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:39,160 full activity in the church and how the Savior was with you then. 411 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:46,200 So the rebaptism, there are so many, and it's one of the things as people are going through 412 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:49,920 this process, as they're going through life in general as well, but especially when you're 413 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:56,360 going through these types of things, look for the little miracles. Look for every small 414 00:42:56,360 --> 00:43:02,360 miracle, every small blessing, because all of those small ones add up to a giant blessing. 415 00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:07,160 And there are going to be people and things that happen along the way that only our Savior 416 00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:15,720 and the Lord could put there for you. And going up to my rebaptism, we had had to move 417 00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:29,200 out of ward boundaries. And I ended up finding somebody, amazing man, and getting remarried. 418 00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:37,000 And he was also inactive and was coming back to activity, also was on probation. And he 419 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:44,280 was, so he was not able to partake of the sacrament and things like that until all of 420 00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:49,240 the probation and things to that nature were done. But his, he never had a disciplinary 421 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:56,040 counsel, did not go through any of that. And we worked together there, and it was wonderful 422 00:43:56,040 --> 00:44:00,800 doing that together as a couple of making sure our lives were in tune with what the 423 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:05,520 Lord would want us to do. They have what's called early termination for probation here 424 00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,800 in Florida. And as long as you've done what you're supposed to do, et cetera, at the 425 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:17,040 halfway point, you're able to request early termination. And he was on state mandated 426 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:22,840 treatment. And in order to get your early term, you have to be graduated from the state 427 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:28,840 mandated treatment. And finally, something happened, and I was like, that's it. We're 428 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:35,840 putting in your paperwork for early term now, whether you're done or not. And he, we had 429 00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:41,200 just moved into the new house, and we were looking at getting, we were trying to get 430 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:49,160 all of the paperwork in order for my rebaptism, went up in front of the judge. And even though 431 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:55,320 he hadn't been graduated, the judge looks and says, you're good, you're done. You're 432 00:44:55,320 --> 00:45:01,120 off probation. A miracle. Absolute miracle. There's no way it should have happened. I 433 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:05,320 mean, they don't grant that, but they did for him. And three months later, my husband 434 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:13,200 was able to rebaptize me. Oh, what a gift. He took authority back to him. And then two 435 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,840 months later, he received the Melchizedek praise priest said that two months after 436 00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:20,200 I was baptized. So he was able to back. He wasn't able to confirm me, but he was able 437 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:26,280 to baptize me. And are you now, are you now in doubt? Have you been sealed? One year 438 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:34,640 later, one year after we were, I was baptized. We went out to California and were in doubt 439 00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:42,960 and sealed. His family is all active and his. So we were minds only partially active. But 440 00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:47,600 my brother and my mom flew out there to be with me and all of his family was out there. 441 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:53,480 All of his siblings and his mom, his dad had just passed away a couple of months before 442 00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:58,840 our ceiling. Well, he was there. Yeah. Oh yeah. And my dad had passed away a few years 443 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:04,960 before that. And he was there. They were there. And my mom always said, and that's where she 444 00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:11,000 feels dad the most is at the temple. But we know, we know that the dads were there. And 445 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:17,040 so it was a very special, very tender moment for us to have the whole family together. 446 00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:24,120 I'll be honest, going through the temple, I think was the moment when I finally said, 447 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:29,720 okay, I've made it. Yeah. Well, when I was able to go through those questions for my 448 00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:35,040 temple recommend, and that's when it really hit. Yeah. As I'm answering those temple 449 00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:42,680 recommend questions and I'm like, I did it, you know, I'm where I'm, you know, and I felt 450 00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:48,040 I finally felt that reprieve. It's still there are still days when I'm like, yeah, correct 451 00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:52,080 me if I'm wrong, but I'll bet when you're saying I did it, what you really mean is, 452 00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:57,320 I'm so glad he did it. Yes. Yes. I'm glad you made that. Oh, I'm so glad you're there 453 00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:04,920 to help me with this because really it is through the savior and his there are days 454 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:11,560 when I seriously felt like he was carrying me, you know, holding on to me as I'm walking 455 00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:15,960 literally, I didn't feel like I could walk through some days. And those days when it's 456 00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:20,440 like, do I really have to get up? So people want to know, Daphne, we've got just a few 457 00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,240 minutes left in the podcast. So I'm going to ask this question, and then we're going 458 00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:28,040 to talk about what it's like to have the savior and what's your relationship with the savior 459 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:32,520 today and how is it different than it was in the past. But you know, when we have those 460 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:41,120 experiences, oftentimes, the adversary will still gain access to our brain. It will still 461 00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:46,240 gain access to even our souls, you know, and we learn in the temple that we have, he has 462 00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:51,040 power to bruise our heels, right? But we have power to crush his head. But you know, that 463 00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:57,360 is that bruising of the heels sometimes that can kind of create more turbulence, if you 464 00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:05,280 will, in our in our lives that can that can create more questioning, a separation of source, 465 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:11,440 maybe not complete. How do you maintain that today? How does that work today where all of 466 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:16,840 those things are in the forefront of your mind? You know, you went to the temple, which is, 467 00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:23,080 you know, the temple is the ultimate symbolism of Jesus Christ on planet earth, right? That 468 00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:29,240 is it. That's that the temple itself and everything that happens in there is in similitude or 469 00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:35,960 speaks deeply to in great symbolism and even directly to the power of the Atonement of 470 00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:41,280 Jesus Christ in your life. So how has that made your life different? Will you express 471 00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:46,800 your gratitude towards that? Will you express how maybe some examples of how that's working? 472 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:53,600 Maybe some examples or experiences of where you have helped felt him the strongest today? 473 00:48:53,600 --> 00:49:04,440 You know, a lot of the come follow me program for starters is a huge thing. I love this 474 00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:11,680 program. And I don't know, I was always reading my scriptures daily, Mike and I, it took us 475 00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:18,840 a while to get into a bind of time and to do that. But it was something that we knew 476 00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:25,680 reading our scriptures daily and having that couples prayer time and reading time together 477 00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:31,280 has been instrumental with that for us in in keeping that. But and it's a constant prayer 478 00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:37,280 in the heart surrounding in one of the things is the home is also supposed to be a temple 479 00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:46,040 for us. You know, and having those things around us, we're human. We get caught up in 480 00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:52,640 our daily lives. We get caught up in the day to day stuff. And so having those things around 481 00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:59,720 us tokens of the temple and of Christ around you all the time everywhere. And so having 482 00:49:59,720 --> 00:50:07,040 those whatever you need as a person for me, I have music, a good quality music going on. 483 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:13,640 I have pictures of the temples and things like that around me to help me. But it's a 484 00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:22,280 and it's a daily strengthening. And you know, because as soon as we feel like we're good, 485 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:26,600 we don't need to have those things around us anymore. As soon as we start thinking that 486 00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:31,680 way, then we're going to start going downhill. And as soon as we start thinking we've got 487 00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:36,120 it on our own, we have to have the Savior in our life, we have to have the Lord in our 488 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:41,120 life. There is no other way it's going to happen. And so making sure we're doing those 489 00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:47,040 things and the having all of those things around us that help build us. And it's going 490 00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:54,320 to be different for each person. And I have a whiteboard at the front of the house and 491 00:50:54,320 --> 00:51:00,240 I change out either different scriptures or quotes and every week or something, I'll change 492 00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:05,920 it out. And that's one way I help keep myself focused on something that is uplifting and 493 00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:13,240 that is reminding me of the Savior and how to stay close to the Savior. And so, you know, 494 00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:16,680 that it's that constant, Oh, I haven't changed that in a week. I need to find something new 495 00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:22,720 to focus on and be, and I'll admit it, I'm ADD, you know, I have to have something new 496 00:51:22,720 --> 00:51:28,320 all the time. So that helps. And those are some of the things. But for me, it's this 497 00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:36,040 daily keeping it and being that person that other people want to be around. Living your 498 00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:39,960 life. And I heard this quote, and I don't know who originally did it. I would love to 499 00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:44,200 know who did it so I could give them credit. Living your life in such a way that those 500 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:50,800 who don't know Christ want to know Christ because they know you. Yeah, how sweet. Daphne, 501 00:51:50,800 --> 00:52:00,560 you, I mean, can you believe really where you've been and how and how far you've come? 502 00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:08,680 And that it just, I mean, a lot of people can make lots of progress in their life. They 503 00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:16,240 can be in the lowest low and get to the highest high of whatever they consider to be a high. 504 00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:24,200 But Daphne, you know, you have, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, not just gone from 505 00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:31,780 low low to a high high, but you can tell in your listening to you and your experiences 506 00:52:31,780 --> 00:52:39,960 that you have been redeemed, that you have experienced redemption, that you're justified, 507 00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:48,000 that you're sanctified, that you have this faith in Christ and that you have his peace, 508 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:54,960 that through him, as President Nelson encouraged us to do, that you, through him, are overcoming 509 00:52:54,960 --> 00:53:02,840 the world and that you have entered into his rest. Being able to find that peace through 510 00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:08,000 the Savior and through the Holy Ghost, the Spirit was, you know, helping you with that. 511 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:15,000 Here an amazing example of that, Daphne, to all of us. And as we conclude here now, we 512 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:20,960 just have another minute or two. Would you like to share kind of by way of testimony 513 00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:27,320 or any concluding thoughts or feelings that you have before we end this episode? And thank 514 00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:35,320 you so much for being with us and for the incredible story that you've shared with us 515 00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:38,760 and the incredible example that you are for us. 516 00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:43,600 Well, I and I appreciate you guys so much for what you're doing to bring this out there 517 00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:50,760 and to highlight it. The atonement and the Savior's redemption for us. And my message 518 00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:57,720 to anybody who's listening would be to never give up. A friend of mine once said, everything 519 00:53:57,720 --> 00:54:05,080 will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. And she wrote that in a 520 00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:10,760 letter to me when I was sitting in jail. And I clung to that. And I still cling to that 521 00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:15,920 because days are not always perfect. But in the end, it will be okay. And that's because 522 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:24,520 of our Savior, because what he's done for us. And just for those who are struggling to find 523 00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:30,880 the help they need and to remember that the Savior loves them as an individual, if I can 524 00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:34,960 tell them nothing else, it's to remember that he is there for them. 525 00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:42,120 Thank you so much, Daphne. We're grateful for you, for your life and for our new friendship. 526 00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:45,680 So if I come out to Florida, I'll be calling on you. 527 00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:50,000 All right. I'd love to meet you. Thank you guys. 528 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:54,160 And if you come to Utah, you have lots of friends here. Your Bishop lives here now. 529 00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:55,160 So you'll have... 530 00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:58,040 I know, but he's leaving on a mission soon. So... 531 00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:00,720 Yeah, that's right. Leaving on a mission. 532 00:55:00,720 --> 00:55:01,880 Happens to the best of them. 533 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:06,520 Such a sweet story that you shared about... because your father passed away and you said 534 00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:14,800 that your father was your safe place and sweet Bishop Saucer walking you down the aisle. 535 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:20,120 I think that's such a sweet picture in my mind. And grateful that you shared that with me 536 00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:22,800 before we began the podcast. Anyway... 537 00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:23,800 Thanks for being with us, Daphne. 538 00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:28,000 Thank you so much, guys. Thank you so much for the work you're doing. I appreciate it. 539 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:34,480 You have been a great inspiration, I know, to many, many, many people today. Those of 540 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:42,440 us who talk about the Savior and kind of make this our daily work, there's a certain credibility, 541 00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:47,960 even though I've been in some pretty rotten places and redemption has taken me from the 542 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:54,760 depths of insanity and hell to where it is today. It's refreshing and it's awesome to 543 00:55:54,760 --> 00:56:00,840 hear somebody who's gone through what you've gone through to have such a deep... and we 544 00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:06,600 feel it... deep love for your Savior Jesus Christ and what He's done for you. And the 545 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:12,360 number of people that you're touching today, I know for certain that your Gospel doctrine 546 00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:16,080 classes are different because of your experiences. 547 00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:17,080 Yeah, I'd like to be in that class. 548 00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:23,240 I know they are. I know that you know the Savior in ways that maybe some people that aren't 549 00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:29,640 compelled to know Him because of the hard things that you've gone through. And we didn't 550 00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:33,720 talk about that whether you were compelled or not, but that's irrelevant. The point is, 551 00:56:33,720 --> 00:56:39,360 you went through things that could be compelling. I have too. And I tell you that those experiences 552 00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:46,400 really enhance. You have about in Ether 12, 27, where you've taken these weaknesses and 553 00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:52,880 you've made them become strong through the blood, through the redemptive blood of Jesus 554 00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:56,600 Christ and Him crucified. It's good to have you with us today, Daphne. I hope you feel 555 00:56:56,600 --> 00:57:04,560 our love as well as our Savior's love. And we look forward to maybe meeting you again. 556 00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:09,320 And certainly, folks, if you have questions or comments that you'd like us to pass on 557 00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:13,920 to Daphne, please use our email address to do that. He redeemsusatgmail.com. 558 00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:19,040 All right, everybody, thanks for being with us. And remember, you have been redeemed through 559 00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:24,600 His blood. We look forward to being with you again next week and in weeks to follow. Everybody, 560 00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:43,560 take care now.