Alright, well here we are again. David, it's another day, a great podcast I believe in
store for us today. We have made a decision to do some more interviews. Well, I guess
that decision was prodded along by our listeners who are enjoying them so much. But here we
are, Dave. How are you today? Good. I'm good, Scott. Beautiful day and excited about what
we're going to do today and share this time with a new friend. So let's get into it.
When we first started this podcast many, many episodes ago, we got an email from a friend
of the podcast who said, hey, I have somebody that you guys absolutely have to interview.
This was probably around episode, I don't know, seven or eight. And he's been pretty
consistently persistent on recommending that we have this wonderful, wonderful lady that
David and I have had the opportunity to get a little bit acquainted with this morning
in preparation for this. So ladies and gentlemen, it's my great pleasure, Daph. I'm going to
go ahead and let you introduce yourself. But this is our friend, Daphne, who we're going
to have on the podcast today. Say hi, Daphne. Hello, everybody. Daphne, where are you,
Daphne? I am in sunny Florida. Yeah, we're up in. It's 24 degrees here in Utah right
now, by the way. And we are at 77. Okay. This calls over. Wow. We talked last week about
what I got to do for the winter. I know. I need to go to Florida. Just go to Florida.
I'm sure that you've got plenty of recommended. Hey, are there golf courses there? Daphne?
There's just a few of them. Just a few. Every other block. Yeah, just a few. Like churches
here in Utah probably, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, there you go, David. I need to come
out there, Daphne, spend some time this winter. You will absolutely have a place to stay if
you want to come out and visit. Yeah. Okay, there you go. Thank you. There you go. So,
hey, as we've been going through this podcast over the last 30 some odd weeks now, we've
been really focusing on one thing, and that is the atonement, the power of Jesus Christ
that comes through his atonement. We're grateful for that. And we've been able to, according
to many emails that we're still receiving. We got several emails just this week, but
the emails that we're receiving and so on, we know that there are a lot of us that are
really getting a deeper look and a better relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus
Christ as we do this. And Daphne is definitely an example of that in her life. She has had
some challenges. We're going to get into some of those, and she has embraced the atonement
of Jesus Christ and the power that comes through that, the power of change, the changing power
that is so important in our mortal sojourn here. And so, let's just kind of take it away,
David. Do you want to start this off? Yeah, absolutely. Daphne, you grew up a little
branch in Michigan. Your parents were converts to the church trying to recall your story,
and you jump in here and correct me, and then I'm going to have you kind of go into more
detail. But you grew up in Michigan in a small branch, and at the age of 18, you decided
to maybe become independent of the church. And, you know, as many adolescents do, they
have to find out for themselves. And you kind of struggled, and you were married when you
were how old? My first marriage was when I was 27. 27. So, no, no, no, I met him when,
sorry, I met him when I was 27. I was 29 when we got married. Okay, so from 18 to 27, you
were kind of living a life of what? Working and going to school and living with my boyfriend
at the time. I had a live-in boyfriend. We were together for quite some time, and investigating
a lot of other lifestyles. Okay. And that included checking out different religious types of
beliefs such as Wicca and things like that, but just a lot of different lifestyle choices
at that point. Okay. And you received your education. You were later principal of a charter
school, so what, where did you go to school and tell us a little bit about the role of
education in your life? Education was always huge in our family. That was probably the most
important thing that was ever pushed. And I loved school. I loved education. I loved
it. I have an associate in marketing, a bachelor's in environmental biology, and after, I know,
total disconnect there, and then after I got my life back together, I actually went back
and I now have my MBA in non-profit administration as well. Okay. Well, but I never really left.
I'll be honest. I never really left college, even through all of that. I kept taking classes
here and there and a lot of different subjects. Oh, that's awesome. And then you were married
at the age of 29 and you end up in Arizona and some things go, some things go bad. You
find yourself in an abusive relationship with a husband who's very controlling and manipulative
and some things go wrong and pretty soon you're running from the law, right? Yeah. There were
a lot of steps in between there, but that sums it up. Yes. Well, Daph, if there are some
of those steps that might be important for us to know, feel free to share those. Yeah.
So, yeah. Moved back, you know, moved out to Arizona for jobs and it was also, so away
from the family and away from any support network I had, but there was, you know, we
were working and when the arrest came down, it really felt like alone. I was alone at
that. And so was in jail for 10 months before being released out on bail. And my parents
worked so hard to do that for me. It was out on release of weight, you know, doing different
trials, different hearings and things for quite a number of years. And then things went,
got really bad again and ended up running from the law in Mexico. And technically I
had the permission to travel, so that wasn't actually, I didn't actually commit any crime
by traveling. It was a failure to appear. And anybody who knows the legal system will
understand, you know, the failure to appear. That's the only thing they had was that I
failed to appear for one of my hearings. I did not. And so, but I was, you know, in
Mexico for two years before I was picked back for, we were picked back up and brought back
to Arizona to finish out the hearings and trials and then eventually go to prison.
So when there's a failure to appear, they typically issue a bench warrant. Is that what,
and then they came to Mexico in search of you. Is that right? To extradite you back for your
hearing? Correct. Yes. So, yes. All right. So, so we know that we're not talking about,
we don't have to get into details, but we know we're not talking about shoplifting
a Snickers at Walmart. No, they don't, they don't extradite you from Mexico for something
like that and spend all the tax dollars, monies and everything like that that's involved.
So that was, there must have been a lot of anxiety and looking over your shoulder and
angst and sleepless insomniac nights and, and those types of things. Kind of talk about
that. There was, and I'm really glad you brought that up because there was a lot of anxiety.
And I happened to stumble across a book. The first residence I had in Mexico, I could see
the temple spire from my window. Mexico City Temple. The Mexico City Temple. And I could
see the spire and Angel Maroni from my window. And I would sit in a chair and literally all
night just stare at that and wondering how I would get to that point. Yeah. What, what
was going through your mind while you were sitting there staring at Angel Maroni? How
did I get here? How did I get out of this? What needs to happen? And a lot, a lot of
prayer at this point, I had, I started when I was back when we were first arrested. I
really had had a lot of longing feelings for going back to church. I had been going back
to church kind of before that. We had been going back for a bit, but not very, it wasn't
a very active spiritually. Sure. It was going through the motion. Yeah. So definitely, time
out for just to say, you say you had this desire to go back to church. Was the desire
to be in church or was the desire to fill what you felt when you were in church? That
and that is absolutely correct. It's that is absolutely the right point there is that
it really was that peace and sitting in the chapel and then and having that peace and
then not having that peace when I would get home from church. Yeah. You know, you say
you were you were raised in the church a little bit or whatever, right? Did you did so you
went to church growing up, right? Yes. And so that that longing that we sometimes feel
is reminiscent of just some of the other earthly experiences that we have. I know. So David
is my uncle. When I would go in he's about seven years older than me, but when I would
go to his house, that's my grandma's house. My grandma was the safest person on the planet
for me. I have a picture of my grandma holding me as a little baby right there to help me
remember that I'm okay, you know, because when I feel like I'm a little bit messed up,
I just look at that picture and remember I'm safe, you know, and and when I would go to
my grandma and grandpa's house when I was struggling, I just longed to sit there and
bask in the feeling that I had there. That's kind of what you're explaining about going
back to church, right? And they you know, in the scriptures, they talk about that in
circling you in the love of Christ and the arms of the arms of Christ, arms of mercy.
And and it really is that feeling that hug feeling, you know, we all as humans love
to be hugged. And I think that's part of it is that that spirit just felt like a giant
warm hug that it was, you know, that that this could be, you know, that that piece that
you would get for that moment. And you're right, it is my father was always my my safe
spot, my my does my grounding point.
Yeah, and you were looking for that similar feeling when you were going back to church,
but when you were sitting in that chair looking out that window at the temple of Mexico City
and the Angel Maroney Maroney, how often did you think, man, I've really messed up and
that'll never be part of my future again? Oh, a lot. Yeah. At that point, I was I was
yeah, I was still I did not know if that was ever going to be a part of my life again.
Yeah. And so we we sometimes in those situations look to that and long for what we in our minds
in our mortal fallen minds start to believe I really blew it and that'll never happen
for me. And then we really begin to beat ourselves up and we become a victim of our own abuse.
So now we're double victimized, right? Absolutely. Because you feel like, well, this is never
going to happen. So why should I even bother trying? Yeah. And things with the abuse of
X, it was I'm never going to get out of this. I'm going to be stuck with in this situation
with him as well, which means that I will never get to where I feel I need to be. Did
you ever feel like you deserved that? Sometimes. Yeah. And it was interesting because sometimes
not it's like I'm better than this. I can and then it was other times. Well, you brought
yourself to this situation. So you know, you got to you brought yourself here. You got
to suck it up and deal with it. Yeah, suck it up and deal with it. That's right. So you
mentioned you mentioned that some senior missionary couple in Mexico City working at the temple
had some sort of a positive influence on you. Daphne, do you want to describe that relationship?
There were two couples that really took me under their wing. And the one I am pretty
sure knew what was going on. The other didn't. But they didn't the spirit, you know, the
spirit can talk to you and and tell and not just me, but tell them they knew what I needed.
And that I'm a very educated, as I said, I'm a very educationally based person. And so
I have a tendency to be literal minded sometimes. And I want facts. I want details. I want to
learn. I need to know those types of things. That's what helps me get through and helps
me figure things out. And so sitting there listening to them talk about the scriptures
and talk about the Savior and how much they loved it. And I didn't have my own parents
there. And my parents loved the Savior. And I didn't and I couldn't even communicate with
them. If I communicated with my family, they would have been arrested. And and so having
these other people there that could kind of fill that role. Angels, angels. They really
were they really were angels and and helping fill that role of guidance and and how to
connect with the spirit, how to connect with the Savior and how to connect with the and
and these feelings I was having. And in many instances, I don't think they realized that's
what they were doing. It was a it was a very much and and the interesting part is that
it was another senior couple that was there. That was the reason that I was picked back
up and taken back to Arizona. They figured out who I was and turned me in to the authorities.
How did you feel about that? You know, I there's a bit that's angry, you
know, the in the past. How did you let's do it this way? How did you feel about it then
and how do you feel about it now? Right at the immediate reaction is anger. Yeah. And
how could you do that? You don't know me. How can you put me in that? You don't know
my situation. You don't know what's going on. And and then it didn't take and I'll be honest,
it didn't take too long for me to figure out that that was the blessing that I needed that
because there's no way I could have completed my spiritual journey without finishing this
legal journey. So you're legal. Go ahead. I wasn't say that legal journey
had to be dealt with and over with before I could continue on my spiritual path that
I knew I needed to be on. Okay. Thank you. So Daphne, you're extradited.
You go back to Arizona. You spend some six and a half years in in in jail, Arizona, a
little bit of time in Michigan even, right? Yeah, a couple. Yeah, six months in Michigan,
six years in Arizona. Okay. And then you end up with your sister
in Florida. And you're looking for a way to get out of an abusive relationship. Tell us
what happens there. Well, tell us if anything about the prison experience six and a half
years. Did you feel the savior in prison? All of the time. It was these are my favorite
stories when so we had yeah, so we had Scott Harmon on who episode I don't remember that
spent several years in prison. We have another one that'll be coming out as well that spent
I think 12 years in prison. And now we have you and these are my favorite stories is hearing
about the tender mercies of a loving savior who will go where we are. He descended below
all things. We read about that in Alma, right? He descended below all things so that he could
know how to sucker us in the flesh. Here he is suckering you in the flesh because he descended
below that. Tell us about that. And and elder Oaks president Oaks gave a talk years ago,
Daphne. I don't know if you remember it, but he he reads a letter this in general conference
and he reads a letter from an inmate in a prison talking about the savior walking in
the halls of the prison and elder Oaks bearing testimony of the love of the savior in our
life. Did you feel that experience? Every day. Absolutely. There was there's quite a few.
There's the first one that that my memory has is I was also because of the nature of
my offense. I was in I was also in solitary confinement. I was in protective custody.
And so I wasn't at first and that actually was a huge problem because of the threats
against me and things to that nature, but I was protected every step of the way. And
then I was put into protective custody. And this was a blessing because I actually had
access to the TV by myself. And I could choose what I watched and I had it on BYU channel
just about every minute I could. And there was a talk and you know how they'll do the
talks at least they used to I'm not sure if they still do, but they would regularly put
talks BYU devotionals. Yep devotionals different conference talks. Yeah, right. Like that.
And there was one from Elder Holland when he was the president of BYU. And I think it
was 1986. It was submitting to the will of the father and all things. And it I I broke
down and I still when I read that when I when I go through and I read it, I still break
down. I just I it was submitting my will to his was so important because that is part
of in my opinion, part of the repentance process is understanding that we need to change. And
one of the things about that particular talk is I could feel Elder Holland's love. Yeah,
for me, for me as a person, setting in prison, sitting in prison. This is a decade or more.
This is a couple of decades later. And through time and space, and I could feel his love
for me. And that this message was for me right now. And the spirit was just he wasn't whispering,
he was hollering at me. This is what you need to take to heart right now. This is the end.
And I knew it was going to be a process, but that was the what you need to know right now.
And I immediately called my sister and said, Can you get me this talk on paper? Can you
find this for me on the internet? And she did and she sent me a copy. And before every
single hearing, I would sit down and read through that talk every before every hearing.
And to remind myself because while while yes, we have these wonderful spiritual experiences,
they don't last forever. And we need to keep bringing them back. And to remind me that
the will of the father was going to be done. And that some of this was all through his
will. And I would, it would help me have that peace and that calm, the spirit would then,
you know, bring that peace and that calm back to me. So I could get through the hearing.
Because of what happened to me in jail as well, there were some jail was the first time
I knew the first 10 months were very difficult and led to some PTSD. And I already had anxiety
issues and this led to some full blown PTSD afterwards because of some things that happened
to me. And it was and so that calming effect became even more important and more necessary
for me having that the spirit just whisper and just keep pushing me that it's okay,
we got this. That was an incredible testimony, creating and testimony building for me. And
there were many and she my sister then got into the habit of sending me regular talks
of stuff she would find. What was the role of daily scripture study and prayer while
you were incarcerated? That I absolutely I mean it wasn't in most
of us we know if we're lucky to get a half hour in daily scripture study and prayer,
you know, that's kind of a lucky thing. And my mom used to call it my mission time. I
was this was my mission time. Yeah, I never served one. So this is what I'm doing now.
And so I was able to and it was it was so wonderful to be able to have that time to
really study and not just read but to study and ponder as they say. Yeah. And to learn
and daily prayer. Daily prayer. Yeah, it was not just daily. I think it was hourly or sometimes
more constant. There was a lot of constant prayer there. There were and and it's one
of those things for me the I don't always feel like there are a few big ah ha crying
moments, you know, crying out type of moments. There are a couple of but for me it was more
of a slow build up. And it was a constant build up. It was a when we talk about line
upon line precept upon precept. That's really how I felt my journey through this repentance
and finding the Savior and and really feeling his love for me was this very slow gradual
thing. It's a process, not an event. Absolutely. There were a couple of times when there were
events that spoke to me louder than others. But I really felt like as I looked back that
it was this this wonderful build up for me. How about those events that maybe spoke loudly
but some more loudly than others? Do you have one in mind that maybe you could share with
us? I it's a little different, but it's it's one that helps me stay grounded to you know
what what the Savior there was an incident in the prison and they were doing a huge shake
down. Every everything was getting tossed. And there were some of the girls that were
having to go through more than others. And I could see it happening out my window. And
I don't know I had this overwhelming sadness and fear come over me. And it wasn't fear
for me or sadness for me. It was the women that were going through what they were going
through at that time. It was it was just horrifying for them. And I could feel it and it hurt
physically and emotionally. And I've always had the sympathy and the empathy. But this
was one of those that just and I was set and I remember collapsing on the floor in myself
crying. These poor women and I had gotten to know so many of them and their stories
and what they had been through. And I'm like and I remember crying Lord, why am I feeling
this? Why do I have to go through what they're going through? Because I could feel it. And
the and it was such a clear answer that it was so that you understand just a little bit
of what I went through for you. Wow. What does that make you emotional? Because he went
through so much for me and I just and that and I remember the word that little bit I
went through for you. Those words were important because it reminds me of how much that it
was so much more than we can comprehend ever comprehend of what he's done for us.
So Daphne, we talk in this podcast about rock bottoms sometimes and that sounds like that
may have been one of your rock bottoms, you know, is on that floor of the jail cell there
and in prison rather and having that experience. But we've also talked about and you just you
just articulated this. I think I'll just expand it a little bit. But you just said that while
you were there, you felt a calm and a peace. Is that right? And because because you knew
what he had been through. And the only reason you knew what he had been through is because
in that moment, it sounds like you were visiting him at his rock bottom at the cross. That
is an accurate assessment of it. I really it was such an I and a very personal. It's
not something I'll be honest. I don't think I've ever shared that story with anybody because
it was so personal, but it was very real that this that to have that glimpse, little glimpse
into the Gethsemane and you know, we all go through our Gethsemane moment, but his was
so much more. Yeah. And and you know, and to know that how much he loved me. You individually.
So you're saying Daphne, you believe that he loves you individually. He visited you
individually in that horrific situation with all the chaos and hellishness that's going
on around you. He visited you because of his deep love for you. Exactly. He knows my name.
He knows me. He loves me. Our savior, you know, and when I'm teaching gospel doctrine,
which is what I do now is my calling at the moment when I'm teaching gospel doctrine.
And that is something that I think that I try to get through to everybody is he loves you
no matter what he loves you. He knows you. You are a child of God. You are our savior's
brother or sister and how much he loves you and wants you near him. That's powerful.
He wants our his you know, we want our families nearby us and we want to have this wonderful
relationship with each other. He feels the same way and he went through Gethsemane for
you as an individual and for me as Daphne. Yeah. And and it's a there's a difference
Daphne between us going through our Gethsemane and getting a glimpse of the real Gethsemane
that he went through. I mean, I mean, it's I to really we've talked about on this podcast
that to really meet the conditions of repentance, Daphne, which we have described, which the
Book of Mormon, I believe describes is a broken heart and contrite spirit that what really
leads up to that broken heart and contrite spirit is to buy the power of the spirit,
be able to get a glimpse of Christ in Gethsemane and his suffering for us. That Gethsemane,
his Gethsemane and getting a glimpse of that is so much more powerful than to suffer for
suffer ourselves and to kind of have our own little Gethsemane moments, right? Absolutely.
You know, we go through our own and but it's very individual. It's well, I'm suffering
because I did something. I'm suffering because of me. When you realize that somebody else
suffered because of you. Yeah. Or not because of you, but for you. And there's a there's
a very distinct difference between the two. He suffered for us. Amen. And and and that's
a very different thing because we're all willing to put ourselves at risk. Yeah. But are we
willing to put somebody else at risk? Yeah, loves us that way. Well, that's amazing that
you got a glimpse of that as you suffered for women watching them suffer. I think that's
just a powerful story. So after spending six and a half years incarcerated in and out.
Arizona a little time in Michigan, you end up in Florida with your sister and described
to us about some of the events that happened in Florida and how you kind of get back into
the into the church and you continue in this process through repentance. Well, in prison,
I was very active. We did have an LDS set of missionary prison missionaries that would
come in weekly for us. Very active with that and active within in trying to stay up on
my readings and things to that nature. I was also writing back and forth with my ex. We
were allowed because we were married. We were allowed to actually write to each other. And
as release started getting closer, I was scared. Not so much scared of getting out. I mean,
there's always the fears of homelessness and taking care of yourself and finding a job
and things like that upon release. I was more scared that I was going to be going back into
a situation that would not allow me to go through the repentance process properly, to
do what I needed, that I knew I needed to do. And in our letters back and forth, there
were threats if I had contacted the bishop and told him what was going on. But I also
knew it was what I needed to do. That's what the Savior is the head of our church and the
church has asked us to do to go through this process and that's what I needed to do. And
when I got out and immediately went into my bishop, the first day there made the appointment
with my bishop that I need to talk. We need to talk and sat down and told him what had
happened. And he looked at me and said, you know, you could have gone through your whole
life, you know, insisting that you were innocent as you had been doing and never said a word
and nobody would have questioned you. Nobody would have said anything. You could have gone
through the whole time and nobody would have said anything. And in fact, my ex never did
go through any type of membership council or any type of, he never did admit to what
he had done. But I was like, yeah, but that's not the way it's supposed to happen. I will
not, I cannot finish my repentance process until I have done what I know is asked of
us. And he, so we had called it disciplinary councils at the time. And I was ex, you know,
my I was excommunicated, my name was taken off the rolls. And he did say, you know,
all right, let, you know, we'll get you back, you know, we'll get you back in a year, you
know, and, and I, I was okay with it. It was interesting. And he told me at the time, because,
you know, you didn't have, you weren't in doubt, you hadn't been to the temple yet.
So we had the choice of whether we were going to do a disfellowship or an excommunication
because but I feel like that you don't forgive yourself easily and that you're going to need
this rebaptism process for you personally. And at the time, well, you know, I was thinking,
well, yeah, I do I am hard on myself. I didn't realize just how hard on myself I could be.
And how important going through that rebaptism process was going to be and feeling that that
washed clean feeling and and losing the Holy Ghost for a while and getting it back. During
my time in prison, as I said, I had this incredible I developed an incredible relationship with
my savior, but I still didn't feel forgiven. I, you know, I just felt like there wasn't
a whole what could I do? And it is, it is an ongoing process of that, the repentance
of feeling that that feeling that yes, you really are and it took a bit and I'm really
glad that I was removed from the church roles for a while because that enabled me to spend
more time thinking about it. I think if I had been left there, I just would have gone
on with life as it was. Okay, life's just continuing.
Now as you look back on it and you've been you've been a member now you were rebaptized
how long ago?
I was rebaptized in 2016. Okay, so you've been a member again for six years. As you
look back on all of those years that you weren't a member, even before you were rebaptized,
do you feel like the Lord had forgiven you and you just weren't receiving his forgiveness?
Or do you feel like it wasn't until you were rebaptized that you were forgiven? As you
look back on it, where do you think what I know it is line up online precept, oh, precept,
I really love what you said about that and I believe that too. But at what point do you
think that you were forgiven?
So in all seriousness, and I'm glad you brought that up. Again, there was a time there were
many moments in prison and in jail where I did feel forgiven. And there was those those
whisperings and sometimes I call them the bricks over the head because sometimes I don't
listen to whispers very well. I sometimes need a brick over the head.
Instead of the still small voice, you need the loud, large voice.
Yes, yes, I do.
That's fair.
Yeah, there were absolutely times where I felt that and even heard that in my head,
it's okay. You are, you know, the Savior took this on for you. You are forgiven. And but
we beat ourselves up.
And comes in, Saint comes in, shames us, shames us, tell us we'll never be good enough.
Yes, I totally agree. And that's really it's Satan whispering those doubts to you that how
could he forgive you for that really? And you know, that was so horrible what you allowed
to happen and what you did.
And he wants you to identify with your sins instead of identifying with your Savior.
One of the things I learned to do, I music, besides education, music has always been a
huge part of our family. And I grew up in a very musical family. You talked about some
of the others where music was such a part of their life, it was my, you know, the, that
peace part and power and peace of music.
Music is an incredible, powerful tool that we have. And I would, I really enjoy, I love
the hymn. Don't get me wrong. I love the hymn, but I also really enjoy contemporary Christian
music.
Mm hmm.
So do I.
Mercy me, casting crown, Matthew West, all of, so we were allowed a little, we were allowed
a CD player with a rate that had a radio on it while in prison. And when I would have
those moments, and so there were a couple of different types, I would either those moments
of doubts and getting beating myself up. And sometimes also those PTSD moments where I
would start to, my brain would start to spiral out of control.
If I could get my earbuds on and just flip that switch and get the earbuds on, immediate
call me. Casting crowns east to west is one of them that really, and there is big daddy
weave does. If you could see what is, I'm trying to remember the title of it, but big daddy
weave does one that is basically if you could see yourself the way the way God sees you,
the way it sees you.
Yep.
I can't remember the title, but those two, but yet east to west by casting crowns was
a huge one for me.
How far it is from the east to the west.
How about Gilles, give me Jesus.
Yeah.
Oh yes, that one. Yes.
Do you remember, do you know that one?
I do.
That's one of my go to.
And my current one is with Danny Goki. And you just haven't seen it yet.
What is it? One more time you broke up right there.
I'm sorry. Danny Goki is the artist and American Idol.
Oh, I didn't know he was American Idol.
I think so.
You just haven't seen it yet. And there's a phrase in there.
He had the solution before you had the problem.
Wow, sweet.
And that just hits home so much.
So sweet.
With knowing that you're forgiven, he knew that we were human. We were going to have
these struggles.
Yeah.
And that saved you for us. And the Savior went along and agreed and sacrificed himself
for us.
Yes.
And so music was also a very big part of that in helping me to stay on that mindset and not
letting Satan crawl in my brain.
So you did feel forgiven off and on, which I believe is really the case. If people would
really be able to identify it. We've taught many times in this podcast that the Holy Ghost,
the Spirit of the Lord is the messenger and the administrator of the Atonement of Christ
in our life. And that whenever we feel the Spirit, Daphne, that we should immediately,
our thoughts should go to the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And we should know that the
Atonement of Jesus Christ is working in our life and that we're being forgiven every time
we feel the Spirit.
And your experience is confirming all that. But let's go back to Florida for just a minute.
By the way, I love your bishop that you had in Florida. He's a good friend of mine. We
share the same grandchildren. I love him and his family very much. And so grateful that
your paths crossed that he was an angel in your life, helping you to come back.
And so you go through a disciplinary counsel, you're excommunicated, but you stay active
in the church, you divorce your husband, you get out of an abusive relationship, you're
rebaptized and go from there. Talk a little bit about your rebaptism and coming back into
full activity in the church and how the Savior was with you then.
So the rebaptism, there are so many, and it's one of the things as people are going through
this process, as they're going through life in general as well, but especially when you're
going through these types of things, look for the little miracles. Look for every small
miracle, every small blessing, because all of those small ones add up to a giant blessing.
And there are going to be people and things that happen along the way that only our Savior
and the Lord could put there for you. And going up to my rebaptism, we had had to move
out of ward boundaries. And I ended up finding somebody, amazing man, and getting remarried.
And he was also inactive and was coming back to activity, also was on probation. And he
was, so he was not able to partake of the sacrament and things like that until all of
the probation and things to that nature were done. But his, he never had a disciplinary
counsel, did not go through any of that. And we worked together there, and it was wonderful
doing that together as a couple of making sure our lives were in tune with what the
Lord would want us to do. They have what's called early termination for probation here
in Florida. And as long as you've done what you're supposed to do, et cetera, at the
halfway point, you're able to request early termination. And he was on state mandated
treatment. And in order to get your early term, you have to be graduated from the state
mandated treatment. And finally, something happened, and I was like, that's it. We're
putting in your paperwork for early term now, whether you're done or not. And he, we had
just moved into the new house, and we were looking at getting, we were trying to get
all of the paperwork in order for my rebaptism, went up in front of the judge. And even though
he hadn't been graduated, the judge looks and says, you're good, you're done. You're
off probation. A miracle. Absolute miracle. There's no way it should have happened. I
mean, they don't grant that, but they did for him. And three months later, my husband
was able to rebaptize me. Oh, what a gift. He took authority back to him. And then two
months later, he received the Melchizedek praise priest said that two months after
I was baptized. So he was able to back. He wasn't able to confirm me, but he was able
to baptize me. And are you now, are you now in doubt? Have you been sealed? One year
later, one year after we were, I was baptized. We went out to California and were in doubt
and sealed. His family is all active and his. So we were minds only partially active. But
my brother and my mom flew out there to be with me and all of his family was out there.
All of his siblings and his mom, his dad had just passed away a couple of months before
our ceiling. Well, he was there. Yeah. Oh yeah. And my dad had passed away a few years
before that. And he was there. They were there. And my mom always said, and that's where she
feels dad the most is at the temple. But we know, we know that the dads were there. And
so it was a very special, very tender moment for us to have the whole family together.
I'll be honest, going through the temple, I think was the moment when I finally said,
okay, I've made it. Yeah. Well, when I was able to go through those questions for my
temple recommend, and that's when it really hit. Yeah. As I'm answering those temple
recommend questions and I'm like, I did it, you know, I'm where I'm, you know, and I felt
I finally felt that reprieve. It's still there are still days when I'm like, yeah, correct
me if I'm wrong, but I'll bet when you're saying I did it, what you really mean is,
I'm so glad he did it. Yes. Yes. I'm glad you made that. Oh, I'm so glad you're there
to help me with this because really it is through the savior and his there are days
when I seriously felt like he was carrying me, you know, holding on to me as I'm walking
literally, I didn't feel like I could walk through some days. And those days when it's
like, do I really have to get up? So people want to know, Daphne, we've got just a few
minutes left in the podcast. So I'm going to ask this question, and then we're going
to talk about what it's like to have the savior and what's your relationship with the savior
today and how is it different than it was in the past. But you know, when we have those
experiences, oftentimes, the adversary will still gain access to our brain. It will still
gain access to even our souls, you know, and we learn in the temple that we have, he has
power to bruise our heels, right? But we have power to crush his head. But you know, that
is that bruising of the heels sometimes that can kind of create more turbulence, if you
will, in our in our lives that can that can create more questioning, a separation of source,
maybe not complete. How do you maintain that today? How does that work today where all of
those things are in the forefront of your mind? You know, you went to the temple, which is,
you know, the temple is the ultimate symbolism of Jesus Christ on planet earth, right? That
is it. That's that the temple itself and everything that happens in there is in similitude or
speaks deeply to in great symbolism and even directly to the power of the Atonement of
Jesus Christ in your life. So how has that made your life different? Will you express
your gratitude towards that? Will you express how maybe some examples of how that's working?
Maybe some examples or experiences of where you have helped felt him the strongest today?
You know, a lot of the come follow me program for starters is a huge thing. I love this
program. And I don't know, I was always reading my scriptures daily, Mike and I, it took us
a while to get into a bind of time and to do that. But it was something that we knew
reading our scriptures daily and having that couples prayer time and reading time together
has been instrumental with that for us in in keeping that. But and it's a constant prayer
in the heart surrounding in one of the things is the home is also supposed to be a temple
for us. You know, and having those things around us, we're human. We get caught up in
our daily lives. We get caught up in the day to day stuff. And so having those things around
us tokens of the temple and of Christ around you all the time everywhere. And so having
those whatever you need as a person for me, I have music, a good quality music going on.
I have pictures of the temples and things like that around me to help me. But it's a
and it's a daily strengthening. And you know, because as soon as we feel like we're good,
we don't need to have those things around us anymore. As soon as we start thinking that
way, then we're going to start going downhill. And as soon as we start thinking we've got
it on our own, we have to have the Savior in our life, we have to have the Lord in our
life. There is no other way it's going to happen. And so making sure we're doing those
things and the having all of those things around us that help build us. And it's going
to be different for each person. And I have a whiteboard at the front of the house and
I change out either different scriptures or quotes and every week or something, I'll change
it out. And that's one way I help keep myself focused on something that is uplifting and
that is reminding me of the Savior and how to stay close to the Savior. And so, you know,
that it's that constant, Oh, I haven't changed that in a week. I need to find something new
to focus on and be, and I'll admit it, I'm ADD, you know, I have to have something new
all the time. So that helps. And those are some of the things. But for me, it's this
daily keeping it and being that person that other people want to be around. Living your
life. And I heard this quote, and I don't know who originally did it. I would love to
know who did it so I could give them credit. Living your life in such a way that those
who don't know Christ want to know Christ because they know you. Yeah, how sweet. Daphne,
you, I mean, can you believe really where you've been and how and how far you've come?
And that it just, I mean, a lot of people can make lots of progress in their life. They
can be in the lowest low and get to the highest high of whatever they consider to be a high.
But Daphne, you know, you have, through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, not just gone from
low low to a high high, but you can tell in your listening to you and your experiences
that you have been redeemed, that you have experienced redemption, that you're justified,
that you're sanctified, that you have this faith in Christ and that you have his peace,
that through him, as President Nelson encouraged us to do, that you, through him, are overcoming
the world and that you have entered into his rest. Being able to find that peace through
the Savior and through the Holy Ghost, the Spirit was, you know, helping you with that.
Here an amazing example of that, Daphne, to all of us. And as we conclude here now, we
just have another minute or two. Would you like to share kind of by way of testimony
or any concluding thoughts or feelings that you have before we end this episode? And thank
you so much for being with us and for the incredible story that you've shared with us
and the incredible example that you are for us.
Well, I and I appreciate you guys so much for what you're doing to bring this out there
and to highlight it. The atonement and the Savior's redemption for us. And my message
to anybody who's listening would be to never give up. A friend of mine once said, everything
will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. And she wrote that in a
letter to me when I was sitting in jail. And I clung to that. And I still cling to that
because days are not always perfect. But in the end, it will be okay. And that's because
of our Savior, because what he's done for us. And just for those who are struggling to find
the help they need and to remember that the Savior loves them as an individual, if I can
tell them nothing else, it's to remember that he is there for them.
Thank you so much, Daphne. We're grateful for you, for your life and for our new friendship.
So if I come out to Florida, I'll be calling on you.
All right. I'd love to meet you. Thank you guys.
And if you come to Utah, you have lots of friends here. Your Bishop lives here now.
So you'll have...
I know, but he's leaving on a mission soon. So...
Yeah, that's right. Leaving on a mission.
Happens to the best of them.
Such a sweet story that you shared about... because your father passed away and you said
that your father was your safe place and sweet Bishop Saucer walking you down the aisle.
I think that's such a sweet picture in my mind. And grateful that you shared that with me
before we began the podcast. Anyway...
Thanks for being with us, Daphne.
Thank you so much, guys. Thank you so much for the work you're doing. I appreciate it.
You have been a great inspiration, I know, to many, many, many people today. Those of
us who talk about the Savior and kind of make this our daily work, there's a certain credibility,
even though I've been in some pretty rotten places and redemption has taken me from the
depths of insanity and hell to where it is today. It's refreshing and it's awesome to
hear somebody who's gone through what you've gone through to have such a deep... and we
feel it... deep love for your Savior Jesus Christ and what He's done for you. And the
number of people that you're touching today, I know for certain that your Gospel doctrine
classes are different because of your experiences.
Yeah, I'd like to be in that class.
I know they are. I know that you know the Savior in ways that maybe some people that aren't
compelled to know Him because of the hard things that you've gone through. And we didn't
talk about that whether you were compelled or not, but that's irrelevant. The point is,
you went through things that could be compelling. I have too. And I tell you that those experiences
really enhance. You have about in Ether 12, 27, where you've taken these weaknesses and
you've made them become strong through the blood, through the redemptive blood of Jesus
Christ and Him crucified. It's good to have you with us today, Daphne. I hope you feel
our love as well as our Savior's love. And we look forward to maybe meeting you again.
And certainly, folks, if you have questions or comments that you'd like us to pass on
to Daphne, please use our email address to do that. He redeemsusatgmail.com.
All right, everybody, thanks for being with us. And remember, you have been redeemed through
His blood. We look forward to being with you again next week and in weeks to follow. Everybody,
take care now.