WEBVTT 00:00:00.140 --> 00:00:02.339 Hey there, everybody. Welcome out to another 00:00:02.339 --> 00:00:04.459 episode of Redeemed Through His Blood. This is 00:00:04.459 --> 00:00:07.620 Scott Durfey. And as always, I'm joined by Princess 00:00:07.620 --> 00:00:11.460 Debra. Hi, friends. What's up, Deb? Oh, just 00:00:11.460 --> 00:00:15.289 enjoying my day. I just want to kind of say thanks 00:00:15.289 --> 00:00:18.050 to those who have been reaching out via email 00:00:18.050 --> 00:00:21.469 and our Institute students who have been texting 00:00:21.469 --> 00:00:24.010 questions and comments and various things like 00:00:24.010 --> 00:00:27.489 that that we'll be discussing on the podcast 00:00:27.489 --> 00:00:30.730 today. Today's episode kind of came from some 00:00:30.730 --> 00:00:34.369 discussion that I've had with some people recently 00:00:34.369 --> 00:00:38.450 and maybe even a few comments via email and so 00:00:38.450 --> 00:00:40.929 on and so forth. But let me kind of lay it out 00:00:40.929 --> 00:00:45.850 for you this way. You know, many years ago I 00:00:45.850 --> 00:00:48.810 was going through a rough time in my life and 00:00:48.810 --> 00:00:51.950 it came a point in my life when it was just time 00:00:51.950 --> 00:00:56.670 I knew to settle in a divorce from my first wife, 00:00:56.670 --> 00:01:00.560 right? And when I was going through that process, 00:01:00.740 --> 00:01:03.659 I was talking to somebody who was strong in the 00:01:03.659 --> 00:01:06.439 church and somebody I looked up to and all of 00:01:06.439 --> 00:01:09.859 that. And I told him, I says, yeah, we'll be 00:01:09.859 --> 00:01:12.840 getting a divorce. And this person said, oh, 00:01:13.060 --> 00:01:15.599 man, you'll never be able to be a bishop now. 00:01:16.439 --> 00:01:21.400 Ouch. Ouch Like that should matter right, but 00:01:21.400 --> 00:01:23.500 yeah, how about I'm sorry about your divorce, 00:01:23.500 --> 00:01:27.659 you know, right? Wow. Well, and it's okay Well, 00:01:27.799 --> 00:01:30.900 the thing about it is is that's the kind of thing 00:01:30.900 --> 00:01:34.099 that I think sometimes that we grow up with in 00:01:34.099 --> 00:01:36.299 the church You know, I and that's what I want 00:01:36.299 --> 00:01:39.379 to talk about today. I want to talk about you 00:01:39.379 --> 00:01:43.319 know when when when When we sometimes feel like 00:01:43.319 --> 00:01:46.200 we're just spiritually late to the game Well, 00:01:46.219 --> 00:01:48.879 or like maybe I don't have all of that I need 00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:52.299 in order to play the game in a way that, you 00:01:52.299 --> 00:01:54.359 know, would be pleasing to the Lord or pleasing 00:01:54.359 --> 00:01:58.120 to me or, heaven forbid, pleasing to other people. 00:01:58.299 --> 00:02:01.560 But we do go there. Yeah. It's tough because 00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:03.920 we do comparison. Yeah. You know, I've got a 00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:05.879 younger brother that's a mission president right 00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:08.340 now. Right. And I, you know, you often think, 00:02:08.419 --> 00:02:11.259 well, what qualifies him and what qualifies me? 00:02:11.500 --> 00:02:14.319 And it's so sick that we have that comparison, 00:02:14.599 --> 00:02:17.520 but we do and we do and I and I'm really almost 00:02:17.520 --> 00:02:19.460 embarrassed to even bring it up because that 00:02:19.460 --> 00:02:22.539 was over almost 40 years ago, but it's still 00:02:22.539 --> 00:02:27.159 is still in my life is still because And whoever 00:02:27.159 --> 00:02:29.379 said this, you know, they didn't mean anything 00:02:29.379 --> 00:02:32.740 by it or you know, whatever like that and you 00:02:32.740 --> 00:02:36.259 know haven't even spoken to this person for years. 00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:40.020 So it's not like it's a big deal. But but that's 00:02:40.020 --> 00:02:42.139 the kind of thing sometimes right shortly after 00:02:42.139 --> 00:02:46.620 that, Deb. So I was divorced and moved into, 00:02:46.620 --> 00:02:49.120 you know, my parents basement for a while and 00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:51.599 had my kids and, you know, and all that stuff. 00:02:51.740 --> 00:02:55.860 And I'd go to church, I'd go to to elders quorum 00:02:55.860 --> 00:03:00.060 and get to hear about what it was like to have 00:03:00.060 --> 00:03:04.030 a celestial marriage. I hear mine is falling 00:03:04.030 --> 00:03:07.550 apart. Oh, I know what that felt like. I know. 00:03:07.689 --> 00:03:09.930 I know. I know. But these are the kinds of things 00:03:09.930 --> 00:03:13.930 I think that sometimes that as we, you know, 00:03:14.389 --> 00:03:17.909 engage in our culture and as we participate in 00:03:17.909 --> 00:03:20.770 things spiritual and that have to do with the 00:03:20.770 --> 00:03:23.189 church and the organization and the institution 00:03:23.189 --> 00:03:26.310 of the church that sometimes just by comparison 00:03:26.310 --> 00:03:31.400 we get out of I don't know out of alignment with 00:03:31.400 --> 00:03:33.840 where our focus really should be and our focus 00:03:33.840 --> 00:03:37.699 as always we talk about is and should only be 00:03:37.699 --> 00:03:41.500 on our Savior Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah, I think 00:03:41.500 --> 00:03:45.939 it's I think it's my personal experience was 00:03:45.939 --> 00:03:48.620 You know, I would hear people talk about how 00:03:48.620 --> 00:03:50.860 awesome their marriage is and I'd see men get 00:03:50.860 --> 00:03:54.599 up and testify about Heavenly Father and Jesus 00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:56.819 Christ and how wonderful their marriage was and 00:03:56.819 --> 00:03:59.639 I was like That guy's got a really positive attitude 00:03:59.639 --> 00:04:02.939 or a really great marriage or whatever. And then 00:04:02.939 --> 00:04:05.219 he'd go sit down while I'm sitting alone in a 00:04:05.219 --> 00:04:08.960 pew with my children. So I've had those same 00:04:08.960 --> 00:04:10.919 experiences and I'm like, what did I do wrong? 00:04:11.819 --> 00:04:15.060 And then I have a list of what I did wrong. Oh, 00:04:15.060 --> 00:04:17.360 this is the consequence for what I've done wrong. 00:04:17.720 --> 00:04:20.399 So I deserve to sit in a pew by myself with my 00:04:20.399 --> 00:04:22.560 kids. So then I go through this justification, 00:04:22.800 --> 00:04:27.079 this crazy like head game of this is why I'm 00:04:27.079 --> 00:04:29.009 where I am. because of the choices I've made, 00:04:29.230 --> 00:04:31.490 and this is what I'm doing because of the choices 00:04:31.490 --> 00:04:34.769 I've made, and this is how God is punishing me, 00:04:34.769 --> 00:04:37.670 per se, and this is true belief to me. And that's 00:04:37.670 --> 00:04:40.750 the word, punish, right? Yeah. Yeah. And so, 00:04:41.069 --> 00:04:43.930 you know, after you live so many years going 00:04:43.930 --> 00:04:45.449 to church and saying your prayers and paying 00:04:45.449 --> 00:04:47.649 your tithing and doing all the checkbox things, 00:04:48.089 --> 00:04:50.290 you know, and you still have the challenges, 00:04:50.389 --> 00:04:52.939 you're like... when am I going to be done? Well, 00:04:52.980 --> 00:04:55.000 what about those of our brothers and sisters 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:59.040 who their lives don't look that messy, but still 00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:01.459 all of our lives are messy to a degree, right? 00:05:01.459 --> 00:05:03.399 Well, they have a really good job of putting 00:05:03.399 --> 00:05:05.620 on that facade of perfection. Well, what I'm 00:05:05.620 --> 00:05:09.079 saying now is there are folks that seem to you 00:05:09.079 --> 00:05:11.240 and I or maybe to the rest of the world like 00:05:11.240 --> 00:05:13.620 everything's just smooth sailing, but underneath 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:16.300 all of that there's some sort of turmoil that 00:05:16.300 --> 00:05:19.009 makes all of us feel inadequate at some point 00:05:19.009 --> 00:05:20.949 for sure and that's why I called it the facade 00:05:20.949 --> 00:05:23.350 of perfection because there's oftentimes I would 00:05:23.350 --> 00:05:26.750 go to church with my noisy naughty kids by myself 00:05:26.750 --> 00:05:29.329 there's a husband and wife with 12 beautiful 00:05:29.329 --> 00:05:31.629 children sitting reverently coloring in their 00:05:31.629 --> 00:05:35.329 in their little you know magazines and being 00:05:35.329 --> 00:05:37.069 reverent during the sacrament I'm like what am 00:05:37.069 --> 00:05:40.810 I I'm missing something yeah you know but I know 00:05:40.810 --> 00:05:45.310 realistically that you know there's there's there's 00:05:45.310 --> 00:05:49.579 not a perfect life And just because I think there 00:05:49.579 --> 00:05:52.720 is that facade of perfection, you know, again, 00:05:52.779 --> 00:05:55.560 going back to that stupid comparison thing is 00:05:55.560 --> 00:06:01.410 so funny how real that is in our lives. It's 00:06:01.410 --> 00:06:03.709 almost embarrassing like you said well this this 00:06:03.709 --> 00:06:07.009 this applies not just to people who have struggled 00:06:07.009 --> 00:06:10.589 We have we've all struggled again, but but some 00:06:10.589 --> 00:06:13.529 to the extreme You know, but even those who haven't 00:06:13.529 --> 00:06:16.670 struggled to the extreme will sometimes feel 00:06:16.670 --> 00:06:20.649 like this just doesn't work I just don't measure 00:06:20.649 --> 00:06:23.930 up. I'm just not keeping up. I'm just spiritually 00:06:23.930 --> 00:06:27.730 late. I should be further along the way by now. 00:06:27.889 --> 00:06:30.629 I should have deeper faith. I should be able 00:06:30.629 --> 00:06:32.850 to and on and on it goes. I mean, this isn't 00:06:32.850 --> 00:06:36.009 just something for those of us who have wandered, 00:06:36.550 --> 00:06:38.750 clearly wandered. We've all wandered to a degree, 00:06:38.889 --> 00:06:41.490 but who have clearly and to the extreme wandered. 00:06:41.509 --> 00:06:45.189 But this is literally for all of us. We all have 00:06:45.189 --> 00:06:49.769 those feelings at times. I mean, nobody Nobody's 00:06:49.769 --> 00:06:52.209 immune from the effects of the accuser, right? 00:06:52.350 --> 00:06:55.300 He has power to bruise our hill. But through 00:06:55.300 --> 00:06:58.839 enmity, obviously, we can crush his head. And 00:06:58.839 --> 00:07:03.519 we know that we all have been and will sometimes 00:07:03.519 --> 00:07:06.500 be affected. And what we're talking about today, 00:07:06.579 --> 00:07:09.439 we're not really here to excuse complacency. 00:07:10.060 --> 00:07:12.500 What we're doing is we want to confront the lie 00:07:12.500 --> 00:07:16.240 that discipleship has universal timelines, universal 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:20.379 deadlines, universal quotas, universal checkboxes, 00:07:20.379 --> 00:07:25.000 et cetera. Discipleship is not about that. You 00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:26.660 don't have to be a certain age to be at a certain 00:07:26.660 --> 00:07:30.939 place in your spiritual journey Discipleship 00:07:30.939 --> 00:07:34.540 is me understanding my own fallenness and understanding 00:07:34.540 --> 00:07:37.500 that it is through him That I can put off the 00:07:37.500 --> 00:07:39.579 natural man and put on the atonement of Jesus 00:07:39.579 --> 00:07:42.279 Christ the dependency on a Savior and that's 00:07:42.279 --> 00:07:44.920 it Yeah, and it no matter where we are and no 00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:47.500 matter how old we are. Yeah, I think that's what 00:07:47.660 --> 00:07:49.819 What amazes me about the young adults that we 00:07:49.819 --> 00:07:52.879 teach is sometimes when we have a discussion 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:55.920 and we open that up, some of their comments, 00:07:56.839 --> 00:07:59.319 my jaw drops almost. I'm like, I didn't learn 00:07:59.319 --> 00:08:03.560 that till I was in my 40s. They're just so valiant, 00:08:03.560 --> 00:08:07.660 so good, so faithful that it's like, can you 00:08:07.660 --> 00:08:11.279 teach me? Keep talking. It's just so great. What 00:08:11.279 --> 00:08:12.860 do you think it is that makes them that way? 00:08:13.279 --> 00:08:16.660 I think it's their devotion and their discipleship. 00:08:16.750 --> 00:08:19.730 I think, you know, these are the same kids that 00:08:19.730 --> 00:08:22.029 don't have to be there on Wednesdays to come 00:08:22.029 --> 00:08:24.910 to Institute. And then when we go on Friday nights 00:08:24.910 --> 00:08:27.569 to the temple, they're there working. Yeah. But 00:08:27.569 --> 00:08:30.410 I'll tell you this. I've had an opportunity, 00:08:30.490 --> 00:08:32.750 as you know, to go to lunch with some of these 00:08:32.750 --> 00:08:37.470 kids, these Institute kids of ours on a fairly 00:08:37.470 --> 00:08:40.330 regular basis recently. And I'm telling you. 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:43.139 They struggle like we do. I mean, they have it 00:08:43.139 --> 00:08:45.639 together. There's no question. But they have 00:08:45.639 --> 00:08:49.919 the same struggles, the same adversity, the same. 00:08:50.159 --> 00:08:53.899 They have the same accuser yelling the same lies 00:08:53.899 --> 00:08:56.460 in their ears that the rest of the church does. 00:08:56.500 --> 00:08:59.120 And they struggle, too. We all struggle with 00:08:59.120 --> 00:09:02.919 our spiritual identity, I think, to a degree, 00:09:02.919 --> 00:09:06.980 you know, because and again, it can become so 00:09:06.980 --> 00:09:08.679 dangerous. And this is what we want to talk about 00:09:08.679 --> 00:09:12.870 today is how do we avoid the danger of comparing 00:09:12.870 --> 00:09:16.950 myself against others and feeling like that I'm 00:09:16.950 --> 00:09:19.789 inadequate, or I'm not keeping up, or I'm not 00:09:19.789 --> 00:09:22.389 following along the path in a manner that I should 00:09:22.389 --> 00:09:25.570 be? And who describes that? I mean, where is 00:09:25.570 --> 00:09:28.470 the textbook case that says this is where I should 00:09:28.470 --> 00:09:31.250 be at this? You know what I'm saying? It's like, 00:09:31.450 --> 00:09:36.289 I don't see it. I don't. I think again, for me, 00:09:36.370 --> 00:09:41.269 it's by comparison. Somebody my age is out doing 00:09:41.269 --> 00:09:44.350 something way more spectacular and outstanding 00:09:44.350 --> 00:09:47.529 and more discipleship than maybe what I'm doing. 00:09:48.110 --> 00:09:52.470 And again, it's so, comparison is the absolute 00:09:52.470 --> 00:09:56.409 thief of joy. The absolute thief of joy. But 00:09:56.409 --> 00:10:00.360 we do it. We do you know and you know growing 00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:03.419 up in the church I've been guilty of it You've 00:10:03.419 --> 00:10:06.379 been guilty of it and so the people that we know 00:10:06.379 --> 00:10:08.700 have all been guilty of it But how often do we 00:10:08.700 --> 00:10:11.559 refer to somebody as you know to say well, you 00:10:11.559 --> 00:10:13.740 know, he must be a great guy He went on a mission 00:10:13.740 --> 00:10:17.639 or or worse or worse his calling here. He has 00:10:17.639 --> 00:10:22.639 a temple rack man. Oh, yeah Well that or or worse 00:10:23.289 --> 00:10:25.370 He must not be a very good guy. He didn't go 00:10:25.370 --> 00:10:27.889 on a mission. So sometimes, you know, we have 00:10:27.889 --> 00:10:31.769 this ideal in our head and we hold ourselves 00:10:31.769 --> 00:10:34.529 to it. When we don't measure up to it, then we 00:10:34.529 --> 00:10:37.389 collapse. We definitely have this ideal where 00:10:37.389 --> 00:10:41.009 we sometimes can hold other people to. And I'm 00:10:41.009 --> 00:10:44.929 telling you, Deb, that that is not Christ -like. 00:10:45.789 --> 00:10:49.429 That's not what Jesus or how Jesus would want 00:10:49.429 --> 00:10:52.950 us to be with each other. He's not that way with 00:10:52.950 --> 00:10:56.610 us. I'm just looking in John 21 where Peter sees 00:10:56.610 --> 00:11:00.549 John and asks, Lord, and what shall this man 00:11:00.549 --> 00:11:04.870 do? Yeah, this is an amazing story actually. 00:11:05.730 --> 00:11:10.149 So this is obviously Jesus has been resurrected 00:11:10.149 --> 00:11:12.769 now and he's meeting with a couple of his apostles 00:11:12.769 --> 00:11:16.490 and he talks to Peter. This is in John chapter 00:11:16.490 --> 00:11:20.840 21 verse... We're starting 21 and Peter saying 00:11:20.840 --> 00:11:24.240 him saith unto Jesus Lord, what shall this man 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:27.820 do? So what he's doing is actually he Peter's 00:11:27.820 --> 00:11:30.379 Jesus has told Peter what's going to be his fate 00:11:30.379 --> 00:11:33.679 in other words Peter's gonna be crucified He's 00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:35.759 gonna die and then he goes on and then Peter 00:11:35.759 --> 00:11:37.659 says well, what about this guy? What about John 00:11:37.659 --> 00:11:40.860 now John's the one writing this You know this 00:11:40.860 --> 00:11:43.940 book and he says what about John? Lord, what 00:11:43.940 --> 00:11:47.039 shall this man do and Jesus said unto him? If 00:11:47.039 --> 00:11:49.820 I will that he tarry till I come, what is it 00:11:49.820 --> 00:11:54.720 to thee? Follow thou me." So they didn't get 00:11:54.720 --> 00:11:58.879 the same blessing. The blessing for John or curse, 00:11:59.059 --> 00:12:00.620 I don't know, I wonder how he feels about it 00:12:00.620 --> 00:12:04.159 today, is that he would tarry the earth until 00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:06.440 Jesus came the second time, until his second 00:12:06.440 --> 00:12:09.480 coming. So he's still here. Jesus is telling 00:12:09.480 --> 00:12:13.179 Peter, Peter, that's not your lot. Yeah, that's 00:12:13.179 --> 00:12:15.639 not your mission. It's not your mission. Yeah. 00:12:15.740 --> 00:12:18.100 I have different things for you to do. And I 00:12:18.100 --> 00:12:21.600 think that's the important key lesson here is 00:12:21.600 --> 00:12:23.500 we all have different lessons. We all can't fit 00:12:23.500 --> 00:12:25.980 in the same box. We all can't fit the same mold. 00:12:26.039 --> 00:12:28.139 We all can't be doing all of the same thing. 00:12:28.320 --> 00:12:31.139 Was John better than Peter? No. Was Peter better 00:12:31.139 --> 00:12:34.960 than John? No. Or any of the others? It was just 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:38.080 different for each one of them. And I think it's 00:12:38.080 --> 00:12:42.580 important for me to remember that I'm here on 00:12:42.580 --> 00:12:45.299 a purpose. And sometimes when I start comparing, 00:12:45.879 --> 00:12:49.220 I think I'm not fulfilling my purpose. What I 00:12:49.220 --> 00:12:51.860 need to be doing is falling on my knees saying, 00:12:52.340 --> 00:12:54.539 heavenly father, lead me and guide me so that 00:12:54.539 --> 00:12:57.019 I do know my purpose. And so that I'm comfortable 00:12:57.019 --> 00:13:00.100 in my journey. I'm comfortable in where I am 00:13:00.100 --> 00:13:02.840 and how I'm serving and what I, you know, because 00:13:02.840 --> 00:13:08.960 when I'm in, in that space, I am confident, I'm 00:13:08.960 --> 00:13:11.919 comfortable, I'm peaceful, and when I'm not, 00:13:12.179 --> 00:13:16.200 I am very discontent. So how do you get in that 00:13:16.200 --> 00:13:20.500 space? Like I said, I fall on my knees and I 00:13:20.500 --> 00:13:22.799 just say, Heavenly Father, lead me, guide me. 00:13:23.019 --> 00:13:25.820 And I've been there lately because I've been 00:13:25.820 --> 00:13:29.659 humbled. I'm very, I'm still uncomfortable for 00:13:29.659 --> 00:13:32.240 those of you that know my saying that I've kind 00:13:32.240 --> 00:13:34.440 of cursed upon myself with no growing in the 00:13:34.440 --> 00:13:35.879 comfort zone, no comfort in the growing zone. 00:13:36.259 --> 00:13:38.759 I'm still uncomfortable. Therefore I'm still 00:13:38.759 --> 00:13:41.580 growing. Attending the temple will put me on 00:13:41.580 --> 00:13:43.960 track. It will bring me peace. It will bring 00:13:43.960 --> 00:13:47.860 me clarity. And I think I talked about this last 00:13:47.860 --> 00:13:50.519 week. Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I get 00:13:50.519 --> 00:13:55.399 some really good downloads. and inspiration from 00:13:55.399 --> 00:14:00.159 the Lord, and he will, I can hear him clear. 00:14:00.539 --> 00:14:02.240 I don't know if it's water, I don't know what 00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:08.120 it is, but I think the most important thing is 00:14:08.120 --> 00:14:10.720 coming to him. And like President Nelson said, 00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:15.820 find joy in repenting daily. And repenting daily 00:14:15.820 --> 00:14:19.759 is changing the direction of making sure I'm 00:14:19.759 --> 00:14:25.259 facing him. And if I'm not, turn back and face 00:14:25.259 --> 00:14:30.120 Him. Going back to Peter and John, if you think 00:14:30.120 --> 00:14:32.139 about these two apostles, and we could do this 00:14:32.139 --> 00:14:35.179 with all twelve of the original apostles, especially 00:14:35.179 --> 00:14:40.980 because of... The chosen I love the chosen too. 00:14:41.220 --> 00:14:45.259 I know It's just a great opportunity for me to 00:14:45.259 --> 00:14:47.299 kind of imagine what some of those personalities 00:14:47.299 --> 00:14:49.899 would be like and I really hope and I think they 00:14:49.899 --> 00:14:52.500 probably did a Phenomenal job with both Peter 00:14:52.500 --> 00:14:55.399 and John because the scriptures teach us a little 00:14:55.399 --> 00:14:57.559 bit about both of these disciples You know Peter 00:14:57.559 --> 00:15:00.440 we know that he was bold We know that he was 00:15:00.440 --> 00:15:04.960 impulsive. We know that, you know, he was out 00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:08.379 in front and always in the public and always 00:15:08.379 --> 00:15:10.539 ready to defend. He's the one that cut the ear 00:15:10.539 --> 00:15:14.620 off of one of the legions. Right. And then there's 00:15:14.620 --> 00:15:18.409 John, you know, John, just steady. Very intimate, 00:15:18.929 --> 00:15:22.690 very, very much loving. He was at and near the 00:15:22.690 --> 00:15:27.049 cross when Jesus was hung on the cross. Jesus 00:15:27.049 --> 00:15:30.230 spoke to John while he was on the cross, John, 00:15:30.409 --> 00:15:35.629 behold thy mother, etc. You know, so just two 00:15:35.629 --> 00:15:40.039 different, both apostles. Right? Both were just 00:15:40.039 --> 00:15:42.740 different wiring. They just wired a little bit 00:15:42.740 --> 00:15:45.200 different. And they had different timelines, 00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:48.360 right? Or you can even think of Book of Mormon 00:15:48.360 --> 00:15:51.460 characters. Think of Alma the Younger. Very dramatic, 00:15:51.740 --> 00:15:55.080 kind of sudden turnaround, just kind of all of 00:15:55.080 --> 00:15:58.019 a sudden, you know. But then compare him to, 00:15:58.100 --> 00:16:01.360 say, for example, Ammon. You know, just a steady 00:16:01.360 --> 00:16:05.379 missionary, consistent, had the patience of Ammon, 00:16:05.419 --> 00:16:08.559 I was going to say the patience of Job, but just 00:16:08.559 --> 00:16:13.299 extremely patient in his ministry to King Lemhi 00:16:13.299 --> 00:16:19.100 and others, etc. I think that God doesn't just 00:16:19.100 --> 00:16:22.379 use one template when he builds us. We all have 00:16:22.379 --> 00:16:24.799 different personalities. We come with those personalities. 00:16:25.220 --> 00:16:28.580 And I think that those personalities that we 00:16:28.580 --> 00:16:32.879 have can be for the greater good of all if we 00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:36.200 can be accepting of ourselves and our own progress 00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:38.820 without judging it too harshly. Right, and where 00:16:38.820 --> 00:16:41.519 we are on the covenant path. Exactly. I think 00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:45.759 sometimes the seasons feel a little bit slow. 00:16:46.279 --> 00:16:48.919 But I think, and I had this conversation. I went 00:16:48.919 --> 00:16:51.779 to lunch with Bowen today, my son, our youngest, 00:16:52.259 --> 00:16:55.120 and he said, how are you doing, mom? You know, 00:16:55.120 --> 00:16:58.700 and I said, you know what? I'm finally feeling 00:16:58.700 --> 00:17:02.120 peace. And I think it's, it's in that season 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:06.480 of stillness and slow that, you know, the deepest 00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:09.259 roots go in into the fleshy tables of our heart 00:17:09.259 --> 00:17:13.680 and offer like true peace. It's like, I know 00:17:13.680 --> 00:17:17.549 that I'm a, I'm a daughter of God. I know that 00:17:17.549 --> 00:17:22.049 I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ. I know that I'm 00:17:22.049 --> 00:17:24.829 a daughter of the covenant. And that brings me 00:17:24.829 --> 00:17:27.450 peace more than any other thing on the planet. 00:17:28.170 --> 00:17:32.890 And so it's like this quiet stillness that just 00:17:32.890 --> 00:17:35.750 roots me back into what's the most important. 00:17:35.869 --> 00:17:39.150 And it's like President Nelson said, think celestial. 00:17:39.789 --> 00:17:42.609 In the long run, you know, when we think celestial, 00:17:43.210 --> 00:17:46.049 Things in front of us that feel so big don't 00:17:46.049 --> 00:17:48.369 matter at all, especially those comparisons that 00:17:48.369 --> 00:17:50.630 I have a tendency to pick up. Yeah, but you used 00:17:50.630 --> 00:17:52.809 a really important word. You said the long run, 00:17:53.009 --> 00:17:57.349 right? Yeah. Because it's a long run. And then 00:17:57.349 --> 00:17:59.990 you said something about peace and how important 00:17:59.990 --> 00:18:03.829 peace is. And obviously, that's a big one. However, 00:18:04.109 --> 00:18:07.740 if we listen to the adversary... Well, he's busy 00:18:07.740 --> 00:18:10.099 accusing us. Sometimes he's gonna whisper the 00:18:10.099 --> 00:18:12.579 urgency is more important than peace You better 00:18:12.579 --> 00:18:14.599 get it done. You better get it done quick. How 00:18:14.599 --> 00:18:18.339 many times have We've been uptight when I say 00:18:18.339 --> 00:18:20.759 we I mean me So how many times have I been uptight 00:18:20.759 --> 00:18:24.019 in my anxious engagement because I just needed 00:18:24.019 --> 00:18:26.819 to get it done Well, we live in a really fast 00:18:26.819 --> 00:18:30.410 -paced world. We can get information immediately. 00:18:30.990 --> 00:18:35.589 We can get food immediately. We can get satisfaction. 00:18:35.650 --> 00:18:38.490 We can get anything so fast. And we forget that 00:18:38.490 --> 00:18:41.849 we're here on God's timing, not our timing. And 00:18:41.849 --> 00:18:43.849 even though the world is fast paced and even 00:18:43.849 --> 00:18:47.069 though we have immediate gratification, that's 00:18:47.069 --> 00:18:49.910 not God's timing. God wants to bless us, but 00:18:49.910 --> 00:18:54.009 not in the world timing. It's God's timing. Well, 00:18:54.109 --> 00:18:57.349 what happens to us then if we buy into the lie 00:18:57.349 --> 00:19:00.079 that we're behind? Then we get discouraged and 00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:03.019 we get frustrated and we get we've panic and 00:19:03.019 --> 00:19:07.079 we get anxiety and we get angst And we lose joy 00:19:07.079 --> 00:19:11.779 And we can even in some cases totally and entirely 00:19:11.779 --> 00:19:15.259 disengage and we've both seen that You know, 00:19:15.339 --> 00:19:19.519 we get more anxious in our striving and I may 00:19:19.519 --> 00:19:22.740 argue that if I'm anxious in my striving Am I 00:19:22.740 --> 00:19:27.279 really striving? Yeah Well, I think it's important 00:19:27.349 --> 00:19:29.869 Also, to remember when President Nelson talked 00:19:29.869 --> 00:19:32.450 about how much the Lord loves effort, when we 00:19:32.450 --> 00:19:36.930 put in effort to get or stay on the covenant 00:19:36.930 --> 00:19:39.309 path, when we turn away from those things that 00:19:39.309 --> 00:19:42.069 distract us from our Heavenly Father, if you 00:19:42.069 --> 00:19:44.130 think the church standards are too high, I invite 00:19:44.130 --> 00:19:46.990 you, he says, I invite you to consider the Lord 00:19:46.990 --> 00:19:50.930 is not asking for perfection now. He is asking 00:19:50.930 --> 00:19:53.769 that we move in the right direction. Face him, 00:19:53.849 --> 00:19:56.269 come to him. You know, and I think it's important 00:19:56.269 --> 00:20:00.009 for me to remember that. And then, you know, 00:20:00.410 --> 00:20:03.769 President Holland, I love him and miss him already. 00:20:04.329 --> 00:20:07.730 But another quote from him when he talks about, 00:20:07.890 --> 00:20:10.509 except in the case of his only begotten son, 00:20:11.390 --> 00:20:14.869 imperfect people are all God has ever had to 00:20:14.869 --> 00:20:17.029 work with. That must be terribly frustrating 00:20:17.029 --> 00:20:20.589 to him. But he deals with it. He deals with me. 00:20:20.950 --> 00:20:24.730 So should we. You know, and I think I think oftentimes 00:20:24.730 --> 00:20:28.750 That's more towards me because I get more critical 00:20:28.750 --> 00:20:31.269 on myself than I do others Well, and I think 00:20:31.269 --> 00:20:34.700 that's the whole point is our self -criticism, 00:20:35.099 --> 00:20:38.019 our comparison. I'm just not there yet. I'm just 00:20:38.019 --> 00:20:40.940 not enough yet. I'm just, you know, for example, 00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:44.500 in my family, everybody's been bishops, or everybody's 00:20:44.500 --> 00:20:46.599 been in state presidencies, or everybody's been 00:20:46.599 --> 00:20:49.619 whatever. And so if I were to look at it like 00:20:49.619 --> 00:20:52.059 the rest of the world would look at that, I would 00:20:52.059 --> 00:20:55.039 look at that as a self -indictment and feel... 00:20:55.039 --> 00:20:59.680 And sometimes, to be honest with you... It's 00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:02.920 happened, you know, not very often and when it 00:21:02.920 --> 00:21:06.259 has, I quickly recognize it for the lie that 00:21:06.259 --> 00:21:09.119 it is, but it's still nonetheless plays there. 00:21:09.480 --> 00:21:11.519 What it does is it gives the accuser something 00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:16.539 to, it arms him with something against me. And 00:21:16.539 --> 00:21:18.859 so I think it's just important that we just really 00:21:18.859 --> 00:21:21.099 understand, you know, and I love, again, going 00:21:21.099 --> 00:21:25.000 back to this example in John, in John 21, he 00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:28.119 says, Peter. Lovest thou thee more than these? 00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:30.920 And he saith unto him, Yea, Lord, thou knowest 00:21:30.920 --> 00:21:33.700 that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my 00:21:33.700 --> 00:21:36.039 lambs. And then he goes on three times and he 00:21:36.039 --> 00:21:39.160 tells Peter what he needs to be doing, right? 00:21:40.819 --> 00:21:46.240 So he tells him what he's doing or what he will 00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:48.759 be doing, and then Peter compares himself to 00:21:48.759 --> 00:21:51.660 John. Well, look what John gets, and then Jesus 00:21:51.660 --> 00:21:55.839 says, Peter, stop it. Stop comparing yourself. 00:21:56.380 --> 00:22:00.400 This is me giving you your best life. This is 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:02.700 me giving John his best life. They're different 00:22:02.700 --> 00:22:06.160 and they shouldn't be compared. So what did he 00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:10.480 do there is he drew him away from the doing and 00:22:10.480 --> 00:22:12.779 right back into the relationship because he said, 00:22:13.019 --> 00:22:16.849 come follow me. In the being. Yeah, he just drew 00:22:16.849 --> 00:22:20.410 him back into relationship and and that has to 00:22:20.410 --> 00:22:24.150 be where my mind goes when I start feeling the 00:22:24.150 --> 00:22:26.569 Effects of the accuser in my life saying Scott 00:22:26.569 --> 00:22:28.470 you're not enough. You'll never be enough You're 00:22:28.470 --> 00:22:30.670 way behind you're too far behind you can never 00:22:30.670 --> 00:22:35.440 catch up and on and on it goes I have to push 00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:39.440 pause, and I have to remember that he wants me 00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:42.160 to just be drawn into a relationship with him. 00:22:42.380 --> 00:22:44.680 None of that other stuff matters, not in the 00:22:44.680 --> 00:22:47.599 grand scheme of things, not in eternity. Right, 00:22:48.019 --> 00:22:51.559 and again, thinking celestial. And are we, you 00:22:51.559 --> 00:22:57.380 know, we can just ask, are we, am I turning toward 00:22:57.380 --> 00:23:01.059 him? Yeah. Am I yielding when I'm corrected? 00:23:01.720 --> 00:23:04.839 Am I still following him? You know, in Doctrine 00:23:04.839 --> 00:23:08.680 and Covenants 1, 21, 7, and 8, it says, My son, 00:23:09.039 --> 00:23:12.359 peace be unto thy soul. Thine adversity and thine 00:23:12.359 --> 00:23:15.279 affliction shall be but a small moment. Now I'd 00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:17.119 like to really define sometimes when I pray, 00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:21.589 I'm like, How long is small moment? I know God's 00:23:21.589 --> 00:23:24.329 timing is different than mine. I'm sure Joseph 00:23:24.329 --> 00:23:26.589 Smith would have liked to have asked that question 00:23:26.589 --> 00:23:29.329 in Liberty Jail from whence that prayer was said 00:23:29.329 --> 00:23:32.869 as well. Yes, and then in verse eight he says, 00:23:33.049 --> 00:23:36.589 and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt 00:23:36.589 --> 00:23:41.390 thee on high. Thou shalt triumph over all thy 00:23:41.390 --> 00:23:44.690 foes. And you know, that really brings me hope. 00:23:45.569 --> 00:23:48.650 Because I just think, our adversities, I always 00:23:48.650 --> 00:23:50.869 say we're only here for a hundred short years. 00:23:51.230 --> 00:23:54.589 A hundred, huh? At the most. I mean, some of 00:23:54.589 --> 00:23:57.509 us don't get to a hundred. Yeah. But, you know, 00:23:57.529 --> 00:24:00.369 I just think about the older I get, the less 00:24:00.369 --> 00:24:03.369 it feels, the less a hundred years feels, but 00:24:03.369 --> 00:24:05.690 it's... Closer you get to a hundred. Yeah, I 00:24:05.690 --> 00:24:08.950 know. The closer I get to a hundred, the younger 00:24:08.950 --> 00:24:12.970 it feels, I should say. But it's just such a 00:24:12.970 --> 00:24:15.990 moment in time. And I remember as a primary kid, 00:24:15.990 --> 00:24:17.670 you know, pulling the string all the way around 00:24:17.670 --> 00:24:19.329 the room and putting a little dot. This is your 00:24:19.329 --> 00:24:21.809 time here on earth and this is eternity in a 00:24:21.809 --> 00:24:24.490 tiny perspective. And I, you know, I didn't understand 00:24:24.490 --> 00:24:27.369 it then, but as I grow older and I understand 00:24:27.369 --> 00:24:31.009 a little more fully, and I really truly don't 00:24:31.009 --> 00:24:34.950 understand completely, but we are here for a 00:24:34.950 --> 00:24:37.890 short time. And I love the advice again from 00:24:37.890 --> 00:24:40.069 president Nelson that says, just think celestial. 00:24:40.349 --> 00:24:42.730 In the long run, is this really going to matter? 00:24:43.109 --> 00:24:45.170 In the eternities, is this really going to matter 00:24:45.170 --> 00:24:48.210 that I didn't have a title or that I didn't have 00:24:48.210 --> 00:24:55.329 this thing in my whatever in my life? And I think 00:24:55.329 --> 00:24:57.490 that's an important thing for me to remember. 00:24:58.369 --> 00:25:00.829 The only thing that matters is our relationship 00:25:00.829 --> 00:25:04.190 with him. One hundred percent. That's it. That's 00:25:04.190 --> 00:25:06.769 it. And the only and the only one that can really 00:25:06.769 --> 00:25:10.039 see that relationship with him. Truly, truly, 00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:12.579 the only mortal that can see that relationship 00:25:12.579 --> 00:25:15.859 truly is me. I'm the only one that can truly 00:25:15.859 --> 00:25:19.619 see my relationship with him, and maybe that's 00:25:19.619 --> 00:25:21.660 all that should matter. Not maybe, that's all 00:25:21.660 --> 00:25:23.920 that should matter. You know, maybe we're not 00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:27.059 behind. Maybe we haven't missed blessings because 00:25:27.059 --> 00:25:29.319 of choices we've made. Maybe our blessings just 00:25:29.319 --> 00:25:32.079 change. I believe that. I believe that through 00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:35.079 the atonement of Jesus Christ that every inequality, 00:25:35.720 --> 00:25:38.299 everything that has been made wrong will be and 00:25:38.299 --> 00:25:42.160 can be made right through His atonement. And 00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:45.819 I know that that's true. But I have to align 00:25:45.819 --> 00:25:48.559 with it in order for my in order for me to receive 00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:51.079 the blessings that can come from that Even in 00:25:51.079 --> 00:25:54.799 this life, so, you know, I'm not rushed All of 00:25:54.799 --> 00:25:58.319 my efforts are not wasted This is just a small 00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:01.019 dot in eternity as you just mentioned. Maybe 00:26:01.019 --> 00:26:04.779 I'm not behind maybe I'm just being formed and 00:26:04.779 --> 00:26:08.240 you know, maybe any kind of formation that I'm 00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:10.380 going through or need to go through maybe that's 00:26:10.380 --> 00:26:13.680 not gonna happen in just twinkling of an eye. 00:26:13.960 --> 00:26:16.859 And I need to remember that. Yeah. Well, and 00:26:16.859 --> 00:26:22.539 I can also testify that, you know, God is the 00:26:22.539 --> 00:26:26.519 creator of all things and creating the heavens 00:26:26.519 --> 00:26:29.119 and the earths. And when I have created mess 00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:32.240 in my life, and it's easier for me to look back. 00:26:32.879 --> 00:26:36.079 and see how he has perfected and how he has made 00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:38.680 those wrongs right, how he has blessed my life. 00:26:39.319 --> 00:26:42.339 You know, my goal when I was sitting in Young 00:26:42.339 --> 00:26:44.140 Women's, which I'm in Young Women's now, but 00:26:44.140 --> 00:26:46.160 when I was a young girl sitting in Young Women's, 00:26:46.160 --> 00:26:47.839 my goal was not to get married and divorced. 00:26:48.420 --> 00:26:51.839 That was not the ultimate plan. But today, as 00:26:51.839 --> 00:26:55.319 I sit here and I can say I'm in a second marriage, 00:26:55.460 --> 00:26:59.319 we blended a family. I get overwhelmed with the 00:26:59.470 --> 00:27:02.349 abundance of love and blessings that we have 00:27:02.349 --> 00:27:06.829 received because of our eternal marriage, because 00:27:06.829 --> 00:27:12.210 of my covenants and your covenants, I can testify 00:27:12.210 --> 00:27:15.470 that that is true, that he makes those wrongs 00:27:15.470 --> 00:27:18.950 right, that he blesses our efforts, he blesses 00:27:18.950 --> 00:27:22.500 what we do. I wish I could have that much faith 00:27:22.500 --> 00:27:26.400 and I'm exercising my faith muscle to know that 00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:29.160 he has me right now and my future because it 00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:32.839 feels uncertain today. But I'm so grateful that 00:27:32.839 --> 00:27:37.819 I have that past knowledge to know and to say 00:27:37.819 --> 00:27:41.500 I really do trust him. I know he has me. And 00:27:41.500 --> 00:27:43.519 that's what it comes down to. My relationship. 00:27:43.720 --> 00:27:46.869 That's exactly right. We can't trust. If we don't 00:27:46.869 --> 00:27:49.069 trust, we don't know him. If we know him, we 00:27:49.069 --> 00:27:53.210 trust him. And may that be our quest this week. 00:27:53.710 --> 00:27:56.369 I just hope that for those of us who sometimes 00:27:56.369 --> 00:27:58.690 and I'm sure that that's most of us who sometimes 00:27:58.690 --> 00:28:00.710 feel like we're just not quite doing it. We're 00:28:00.710 --> 00:28:02.809 just not quite on top of it. We're just a little 00:28:02.809 --> 00:28:05.750 bit behind. We're just not meeting the measure 00:28:05.750 --> 00:28:09.589 of our creations, so to speak. I hope that we'll 00:28:09.589 --> 00:28:12.950 just pause and put our relationship in him. And, 00:28:12.950 --> 00:28:15.369 you know, when we're tempted like Peter to ask 00:28:15.369 --> 00:28:18.579 him What about what about that guy? You know, 00:28:18.579 --> 00:28:21.920 maybe we can just respond to the answer back 00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:26.200 to us is The the mission I have for you is different 00:28:26.200 --> 00:28:29.380 And it's still an important mission and it's 00:28:29.380 --> 00:28:33.480 still a loving and a beautiful and a redeemed 00:28:33.480 --> 00:28:36.160 Mission through the blood and the atonement of 00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:40.259 Jesus Christ Thanks for being with us everybody 00:28:40.259 --> 00:28:42.500 we look forward to being with you again next 00:28:42.500 --> 00:28:44.140 week and until then be well