WEBVTT 00:00:01.389 --> 00:00:04.309 You know, Scott, I've been thinking a lot lately 00:00:04.309 --> 00:00:08.990 about how quickly my focus gets derailed and 00:00:08.990 --> 00:00:11.109 drifts, especially from the things we've talked 00:00:11.109 --> 00:00:14.630 about and having a relationship with Jesus Christ. 00:00:15.029 --> 00:00:17.769 And, you know, when I get derailed and I start 00:00:17.769 --> 00:00:22.609 focusing on other things, it feels heavy and 00:00:22.609 --> 00:00:29.480 it feels like I'm derailed. Things don't go the 00:00:29.480 --> 00:00:32.920 way I expect him to do I notice it's easy to 00:00:32.920 --> 00:00:35.759 kind of turn inward and I almost feeling like 00:00:35.759 --> 00:00:39.060 a little insecure and feeling a little self -conscious 00:00:39.060 --> 00:00:44.000 and I start looking around and You know worshiping 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:48.780 that God of what other people think Wow, yeah, 00:00:48.780 --> 00:00:52.380 what's bringing this up? Well, you know we've 00:00:52.380 --> 00:00:58.530 I've had a lot of We we've had a lot of funerals 00:00:58.530 --> 00:01:01.549 lately. Yeah, the other one today. Yeah, and, 00:01:01.810 --> 00:01:05.959 you know... people I work with have been going 00:01:05.959 --> 00:01:08.760 to a lot of funerals. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't 00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:11.299 know that. Yeah. I have an employee whose uncle 00:01:11.299 --> 00:01:14.840 was killed, an employee whose dad died. And so 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:17.939 anyway, I've been thinking about that a lot and 00:01:17.939 --> 00:01:19.780 just thinking about what are people going to 00:01:19.780 --> 00:01:21.560 say at my funeral? Why am I thinking about that? 00:01:21.640 --> 00:01:23.159 I have no idea. Probably because I've been to 00:01:23.159 --> 00:01:25.459 funerals. You know, I think about that. When 00:01:25.459 --> 00:01:28.739 I when I go to somebody's funeral, I always it's 00:01:28.739 --> 00:01:32.969 probably just a Don't know maybe everybody thinks 00:01:32.969 --> 00:01:35.090 this way I hope they do because it feels kind 00:01:35.090 --> 00:01:37.730 of self -centered But I always sit there and 00:01:37.730 --> 00:01:39.790 and I don't know if I'm fantasizing or what but 00:01:39.790 --> 00:01:42.569 I'm wondering What will people say? What will 00:01:42.569 --> 00:01:44.590 Trevor say? What will Jessica say? What will 00:01:44.590 --> 00:01:46.689 the you know, what each of the kids? What will 00:01:46.689 --> 00:01:48.629 they say? You know not that they're all gonna 00:01:48.629 --> 00:01:51.609 speak at my funeral per se but you know Yeah, 00:01:51.609 --> 00:01:55.930 it's just it's just interesting how much I get 00:01:55.930 --> 00:02:00.980 derailed literally, yeah on worshipping what 00:02:00.980 --> 00:02:03.879 the God of what other people think of me right 00:02:03.879 --> 00:02:10.699 like and it and I have to like it anyway it it 00:02:10.699 --> 00:02:14.400 derails me it's probably that I focus on it and 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:16.860 then I'm like why is this all of a sudden so 00:02:16.860 --> 00:02:22.400 important to me you know why am I is this wrong 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:25.800 why am I why am I focusing on this so much but 00:02:25.800 --> 00:02:28.639 I don't I think it means that we're human I mean, 00:02:28.680 --> 00:02:32.139 and living in a fallen world, I feel like, you 00:02:32.139 --> 00:02:35.479 know, I mean, New Year's resolutions and trying 00:02:35.479 --> 00:02:37.939 to do things right, I, you know, whoops, I did 00:02:37.939 --> 00:02:41.060 it again. I got derailed. Whether it's physically, 00:02:41.180 --> 00:02:43.860 mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, you know, 00:02:43.860 --> 00:02:47.520 we're going to get derailed. And I think, I think 00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:49.539 it's important. I mean, last week, we talked 00:02:49.539 --> 00:02:52.860 about weariness and silence and how we feel when 00:02:52.860 --> 00:02:56.459 our relationship is distant from Christ. And 00:02:56.459 --> 00:02:59.620 so I've kind of had that on my forefront. And 00:02:59.620 --> 00:03:05.360 then I'm like, derailed. Like I'm not thinking 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:07.439 about Christ and what he thinks of me. I'm thinking 00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:11.219 about what's gonna be spoken at my funeral. How 00:03:11.219 --> 00:03:15.000 come my life isn't in alignment? Like this person's 00:03:15.000 --> 00:03:19.120 life is perfect or the illusion of perfect and 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:21.159 I get that, you know, comparison is the thief 00:03:21.159 --> 00:03:25.039 of joy. But my word, it has been in my face. 00:03:25.500 --> 00:03:29.620 You know, today's funeral. I have those same 00:03:29.620 --> 00:03:33.599 experiences, right? I have the same fantasy when 00:03:33.599 --> 00:03:37.159 I go to a funeral. And if I'm sitting there and 00:03:37.159 --> 00:03:39.159 there's somebody who I've really looked up to, 00:03:39.340 --> 00:03:41.879 and it usually is, you know, and wonderful things 00:03:41.879 --> 00:03:43.939 are always said about people. Nobody ever says 00:03:43.939 --> 00:03:47.840 the bad things. But wonderful things are always 00:03:47.840 --> 00:03:50.000 said at funerals about these people. And I think, 00:03:50.460 --> 00:03:53.620 oh, I hope somebody can say that about me someday. 00:03:53.860 --> 00:03:56.449 Oh, I hope that... Somebody can say, you know, 00:03:56.669 --> 00:03:59.330 and I'm gonna just be honest, you know, there's 00:03:59.330 --> 00:04:01.409 times when I thought, I wonder if they'll talk 00:04:01.409 --> 00:04:04.669 about me in my career. I wonder if they'll talk 00:04:04.669 --> 00:04:07.050 about me in all of my church service. I wonder 00:04:07.050 --> 00:04:10.129 if they'll talk about my recovery and how, you 00:04:10.129 --> 00:04:12.590 know what I mean? And it all, and it starts turning 00:04:12.590 --> 00:04:14.710 inward. You use that word inward, it starts turning 00:04:14.710 --> 00:04:17.709 inward. But I said, today's funeral was different 00:04:17.709 --> 00:04:21.800 than that for me. This was for a woman, one of 00:04:21.800 --> 00:04:24.639 our brothers -in -law, a wonderful, wonderful 00:04:24.639 --> 00:04:30.959 lady. And it wasn't like that. At this funeral, 00:04:31.500 --> 00:04:33.839 everything that was brought up was in comparing 00:04:33.839 --> 00:04:38.709 her to an attribute of the Savior. And I got 00:04:38.709 --> 00:04:41.750 thinking at the end, nobody talked about making 00:04:41.750 --> 00:04:45.029 a lot of money, nobody talked about all these 00:04:45.029 --> 00:04:47.930 wonderful achievements, nobody talked about this 00:04:47.930 --> 00:04:51.610 grandiose life that somebody had lived, but maybe 00:04:51.610 --> 00:04:55.670 the most grandiose of all, in a quiet, quiet 00:04:55.670 --> 00:04:59.089 way, because I don't know how many times I had 00:04:59.089 --> 00:05:02.509 the impression she was really a disciple of Jesus 00:05:02.509 --> 00:05:06.459 Christ. Well, that was spoken. It changed, at 00:05:06.459 --> 00:05:09.920 least in that moment, and still it remains in 00:05:09.920 --> 00:05:13.180 this moment, and I'm sure it will drift for me 00:05:13.180 --> 00:05:17.399 too, but in this moment now, I hope that at my 00:05:17.399 --> 00:05:20.199 funeral that I can be identified as a disciple 00:05:20.199 --> 00:05:23.259 of Jesus Christ. Nothing else mattered. Nothing 00:05:23.259 --> 00:05:26.420 else mattered. It was really cool. But I'm with 00:05:26.420 --> 00:05:29.439 you. It was interesting how derailed I got, because 00:05:29.439 --> 00:05:31.500 when they were talking about what their grandkids 00:05:31.500 --> 00:05:32.639 are going to say, I'm like, they're going to 00:05:32.639 --> 00:05:34.740 say the crazy things I do. They're going to tell 00:05:34.740 --> 00:05:37.699 on me. They're going to teach them or they're 00:05:37.699 --> 00:05:39.300 going to talk about the crazy songs I teach them 00:05:39.300 --> 00:05:42.879 or something. Well, that's that's every bit as 00:05:42.879 --> 00:05:45.500 endearing. And, you know, it is. And I bet you 00:05:45.500 --> 00:05:47.920 know, the point that you make about our spirit 00:05:47.920 --> 00:05:51.060 kind of a spiritual drift, right? How we how 00:05:51.060 --> 00:05:54.060 we have these feelings. And then all of a sudden, 00:05:54.279 --> 00:05:57.160 you know, we come off of potentially, you know, 00:05:57.439 --> 00:06:00.180 a plateau of the holidays. Maybe we've had some 00:06:00.180 --> 00:06:02.839 wonderful spiritual experiences. Maybe not. But 00:06:02.839 --> 00:06:05.949 but sometimes Sometimes we just get to have that 00:06:05.949 --> 00:06:09.769 flatness. And I think that what's happening here 00:06:09.769 --> 00:06:15.589 is the idea of attention. I think that it's our 00:06:15.589 --> 00:06:18.990 attention and where we place it that really matters. 00:06:19.290 --> 00:06:24.430 Yeah, true. And sometimes if I hyper -focus on 00:06:24.430 --> 00:06:27.509 it, why am I not feeling the spirit? Why am I 00:06:27.509 --> 00:06:30.689 not getting emotionally touched by this song? 00:06:33.259 --> 00:06:37.259 I hyper -focus on it to the point that it, again, 00:06:37.459 --> 00:06:41.279 derails me. And it's like, okay, take a deep 00:06:41.279 --> 00:06:45.819 breath. It's okay. You know, and then I start 00:06:45.819 --> 00:06:48.220 questioning. Maybe it's my scripture studies 00:06:48.220 --> 00:06:51.220 light is not strong enough. Maybe I'm not praying 00:06:51.220 --> 00:06:54.920 enough or more fervently or maybe, you know, 00:06:54.920 --> 00:06:57.519 why does this feel harder for me sometimes than 00:06:57.519 --> 00:07:01.220 others? Well, yeah, I think that that's, uh, 00:07:01.209 --> 00:07:03.589 I think that's common. It is common. You know, 00:07:03.589 --> 00:07:05.550 you're not the only one. We're not the only ones. 00:07:05.689 --> 00:07:07.709 I'm not the only one either that feels that way. 00:07:07.709 --> 00:07:10.670 And I sometimes do, too. You know, we go through 00:07:10.670 --> 00:07:14.310 that and we know why we go through that. We go 00:07:14.310 --> 00:07:17.310 through it because we have we are experiencing 00:07:17.310 --> 00:07:19.850 the effects of the fall of Adam and Eve. Right. 00:07:20.089 --> 00:07:22.949 Right. And I think I think it is intensified 00:07:22.949 --> 00:07:27.329 in today's world with social media. Oh, I mean, 00:07:27.329 --> 00:07:30.810 I think it is so intensified because it's like 00:07:31.180 --> 00:07:33.319 you know, I love to get on there and see what 00:07:33.319 --> 00:07:36.379 my friends and my family are up to. And, and 00:07:36.379 --> 00:07:40.300 I see people's lifestyles that are just far superior 00:07:40.300 --> 00:07:42.860 than what I could even imagine. And then I'm 00:07:42.860 --> 00:07:45.220 like, well, how come they got that? And I didn't, 00:07:45.279 --> 00:07:49.399 I live righteously. And then I go into that comparison 00:07:49.399 --> 00:07:53.519 again. And again, I know for a fact that comparison 00:07:53.519 --> 00:07:57.100 is the thief of joy. And if I focus on it, I'm 00:07:57.100 --> 00:07:59.579 gonna keep feeling that lack, and I'm gonna keep 00:07:59.579 --> 00:08:01.560 feeling less than, and I'm gonna keep feeling 00:08:01.560 --> 00:08:04.959 like I don't measure up, or feeling like I don't 00:08:04.959 --> 00:08:09.259 belong here, or whatever. And when I really push 00:08:09.259 --> 00:08:12.250 pause, and I really focus on it, I'm like. Deb, 00:08:12.370 --> 00:08:15.050 what the crap are you doing? Like, where are 00:08:15.050 --> 00:08:17.889 these questions coming from? Like, what? Well, 00:08:17.930 --> 00:08:20.610 and I told you, before we even started this recording, 00:08:20.790 --> 00:08:22.889 I said, I'm gonna get really vulnerable, because 00:08:22.889 --> 00:08:24.449 these are really feeling. That's not what you 00:08:24.449 --> 00:08:26.870 said. What did I say? You said, I'm not sure 00:08:26.870 --> 00:08:28.790 how vulnerable I'm willing to get tonight. There 00:08:28.790 --> 00:08:31.089 you go. Well, here I am, getting vulnerable, 00:08:31.490 --> 00:08:35.490 telling on myself. So, yeah. But, you know, and 00:08:35.490 --> 00:08:38.039 I'm grateful that you are. and so are our listeners, 00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:39.919 because you know, this is something Deb that 00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:43.740 is common. This is not something that we just 00:08:43.740 --> 00:08:47.320 experience in a vacuum. It's not your own experience. 00:08:47.480 --> 00:08:49.019 I mean, your experience is your own experience, 00:08:49.080 --> 00:08:52.899 but you don't own it. I mean, everybody has similar 00:08:52.899 --> 00:08:56.019 experiences. We just do, because it's part of, 00:08:56.019 --> 00:08:59.179 again, the effects of the fall. We're cut off 00:08:59.179 --> 00:09:02.309 spiritually. from our Heavenly Father, and because 00:09:02.309 --> 00:09:05.350 of that, because of the veil, we need to be reminded 00:09:05.350 --> 00:09:07.970 through conscious contact with our Heavenly Father 00:09:07.970 --> 00:09:10.649 of who we are, whose we are, and all those other 00:09:10.649 --> 00:09:13.210 things, right? Well, and I think the other thing 00:09:13.210 --> 00:09:16.570 is my focus becomes more on me. Yeah, it turns 00:09:16.570 --> 00:09:20.610 more on him. That's the point, right? It's like, 00:09:21.230 --> 00:09:23.889 OK, where where's my relationship? You know, 00:09:23.909 --> 00:09:26.809 and when I focus on me. I know that I'm in my 00:09:26.809 --> 00:09:30.029 control freak mode. It's like, I want to control 00:09:30.029 --> 00:09:32.309 people around me. I want to control the circumstance 00:09:32.309 --> 00:09:34.789 and the situation. And I want to, I want to be 00:09:34.789 --> 00:09:37.169 in the driver's seat, even though I know I don't 00:09:37.169 --> 00:09:39.269 want to be in the driver's seat. Saying that 00:09:39.269 --> 00:09:43.769 out loud makes me sound insane. I know it's bananas, 00:09:43.769 --> 00:09:48.730 but it's like, I have to give myself some mercy. 00:09:49.029 --> 00:09:51.269 I really do. I have to go, you know what, Deb? 00:09:51.789 --> 00:09:54.889 It doesn't make me weak. It makes me human. And 00:09:54.889 --> 00:09:56.889 I know I'm not alone here. That's 100 % right. 00:09:56.990 --> 00:09:59.850 And we've got to remember, and I hadn't planned 00:09:59.850 --> 00:10:02.009 to do this, so I'm throwing a curve ball at you, 00:10:02.090 --> 00:10:05.679 Deb, but in Luke chapter 10. I'm gonna start 00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:07.740 in verse 39. Now this is Mary and Martha. This 00:10:07.740 --> 00:10:11.059 is my favorite. I love it too. Love it. I was 00:10:11.059 --> 00:10:13.080 thinking, we talked about this last podcast, 00:10:13.139 --> 00:10:15.860 but we didn't do it. I taught it in Gospel Doctrine 00:10:15.860 --> 00:10:18.220 the week prior. Oh, we've talked about it before, 00:10:18.259 --> 00:10:20.879 because I love this scripture. Right, but this 00:10:20.879 --> 00:10:24.179 is Mary and Martha, obviously very close friends 00:10:24.179 --> 00:10:28.419 of Jesus, sisters, to Lazarus. who he had raised 00:10:28.419 --> 00:10:31.480 from the dead. And she had a sister called Mary, 00:10:31.820 --> 00:10:34.100 meaning Martha, which also sat at Jesus' feet 00:10:34.100 --> 00:10:38.740 and heard his word. So Mary was sitting at his 00:10:38.740 --> 00:10:44.220 feet and hearing his word. Right. Which is such 00:10:44.220 --> 00:10:47.700 so much there. There's so much doctrine, so much 00:10:47.700 --> 00:10:51.059 invitation being extended to each of us right 00:10:51.059 --> 00:10:53.480 there. This is one. Remember a few weeks ago 00:10:53.480 --> 00:10:55.799 when we talked about the cross and the vertical 00:10:55.799 --> 00:10:59.980 beam and the and the the horizontal beam rather 00:10:59.980 --> 00:11:02.620 and the vertical post and the relationship there 00:11:02.620 --> 00:11:04.980 and how sometimes we get stuck in the horizontal. 00:11:05.299 --> 00:11:07.200 That's what that that's what you're talking about. 00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:09.500 Right. The inwardness. And that's what Martha, 00:11:09.500 --> 00:11:12.950 you know, was doing. Mary was focused on the 00:11:12.950 --> 00:11:16.309 vertical, the relationship with Jesus, but Martha 00:11:16.309 --> 00:11:18.889 was covered about much, serving, and came to 00:11:18.889 --> 00:11:21.669 him and said, Lord, does this not care that my 00:11:21.669 --> 00:11:24.970 sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore 00:11:24.970 --> 00:11:28.210 that she should help me. And Jesus answered and 00:11:28.210 --> 00:11:32.769 said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful 00:11:32.769 --> 00:11:36.500 and troubled about many things. But one thing 00:11:36.500 --> 00:11:40.360 is needful and Mary hath chosen that good part 00:11:40.360 --> 00:11:44.340 which shall not be taken from her You know in 00:11:44.340 --> 00:11:46.139 my scriptures I crossed out Martha Martha and 00:11:46.139 --> 00:11:48.279 wrote Deborah Deborah. Did you I really did? 00:11:48.679 --> 00:11:52.059 because I can so relate to that. That busyness 00:11:52.059 --> 00:11:54.000 and that control and listen, I'm trying to get 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:57.360 stuff done. But that can show up in other ways 00:11:57.360 --> 00:11:59.899 besides busyness and control. That's my point, 00:12:00.019 --> 00:12:04.120 you know. That inward looking is busyness, for 00:12:04.120 --> 00:12:07.080 sure, sometimes. It can be control, sometimes 00:12:07.080 --> 00:12:10.100 for sure, because you know, control comes from 00:12:10.100 --> 00:12:13.320 fear. Fear is inward generated, no question. 00:12:13.639 --> 00:12:15.700 Fear and faith can't live in the same place. 00:12:16.419 --> 00:12:19.250 I can find that in scripture. but I know exactly 00:12:19.250 --> 00:12:21.470 where it is in the big book about alcohol. It's 00:12:21.470 --> 00:12:23.590 anonymous. Because I was just going through it 00:12:23.590 --> 00:12:25.350 the other day and working steps again with a 00:12:25.350 --> 00:12:28.809 couple of Sponsees. And that was one of those 00:12:28.809 --> 00:12:31.909 things that are just so important for us to understand. 00:12:32.009 --> 00:12:34.970 And I think it really relates to all of this 00:12:34.970 --> 00:12:40.470 because when we talk about our inward relationship 00:12:40.470 --> 00:12:42.909 with ourself, this is where things really start 00:12:42.909 --> 00:12:48.220 beginning to implode. Right? When I'm self -consumed, 00:12:48.279 --> 00:12:51.679 when all this other stuff, and it doesn't necessarily 00:12:51.679 --> 00:12:56.100 mean that I'm self -centered overall. It doesn't 00:12:56.100 --> 00:12:58.940 necessarily mean I'm narcissistic overall. Can 00:12:58.940 --> 00:13:02.340 it? Sure. But it's not necessarily those indictments. 00:13:02.460 --> 00:13:06.559 It's just a small drift sometimes where the accuser 00:13:06.559 --> 00:13:10.299 can jump right in and create that inward focus, 00:13:10.820 --> 00:13:14.129 taking the focus away from where where our focus 00:13:14.129 --> 00:13:17.370 should be. And remembering where our focus should 00:13:17.370 --> 00:13:22.009 be, what we focus on expands. And if I'm focusing 00:13:22.009 --> 00:13:24.590 on my inward problems, then I'm just gonna feel 00:13:24.590 --> 00:13:27.730 like I have more inward problems. But if somehow, 00:13:28.590 --> 00:13:31.250 through the relationship that I established with 00:13:31.250 --> 00:13:36.309 Jesus and His Father and the Holy Ghost, I know 00:13:36.309 --> 00:13:39.769 that as I focus on that relationship, then the 00:13:39.769 --> 00:13:42.690 things that come from them begin to expand. And 00:13:42.690 --> 00:13:44.470 sometimes that doesn't necessarily mean I'm going 00:13:44.470 --> 00:13:46.750 to be healed in the moment, not even in the situation, 00:13:47.129 --> 00:13:49.830 maybe not even in the season, maybe not even 00:13:49.830 --> 00:13:53.090 in mortality, but I'll be given the strength 00:13:53.090 --> 00:13:55.509 that comes and can only come through a relationship 00:13:55.509 --> 00:13:59.149 with him. And you know, even knowing that and 00:13:59.149 --> 00:14:03.639 understanding that, I still get derailed. I was 00:14:03.639 --> 00:14:08.879 thinking about my car has this thing that if 00:14:08.879 --> 00:14:13.019 I turn the lane thing on, it'll beep, beep, beep 00:14:13.019 --> 00:14:15.899 out at me if I get out of my lane. It's like, 00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:17.899 I wonder if there's a spiritual button I can 00:14:17.899 --> 00:14:20.340 push that will beep, beep, beep at me when I'm 00:14:20.340 --> 00:14:24.240 getting derailed. And I know it's a personal 00:14:24.240 --> 00:14:25.759 inventory. I have to put the mirror in front 00:14:25.759 --> 00:14:29.220 of my face and really be conscientious of that 00:14:29.220 --> 00:14:33.049 and go and start my day with my relationship. 00:14:35.009 --> 00:14:39.590 The second I wake up, fall on my knees and start 00:14:39.590 --> 00:14:43.809 my relationship immediately to get me back on 00:14:43.809 --> 00:14:45.990 track. And I think that's the most important 00:14:45.990 --> 00:14:52.029 thing is remembering. Just focusing on, because 00:14:52.029 --> 00:14:56.129 what I do focus on, growth. And when I start 00:14:56.129 --> 00:15:00.620 my day off in my scriptures and fervent like 00:15:00.620 --> 00:15:05.019 heartfelt prayers, my day goes better because 00:15:05.019 --> 00:15:07.700 that's my focus. But when I jump out of bed, 00:15:07.720 --> 00:15:10.019 I'm a little bit late and I'm running here and 00:15:10.019 --> 00:15:16.299 doing that. What I'm focusing on keeps growing 00:15:16.299 --> 00:15:19.120 and then I get derailed all day, it seems like. 00:15:19.389 --> 00:15:21.629 And then I have to just kind of push pause and 00:15:21.629 --> 00:15:24.309 look up and go, ah, I need to do over, let's 00:15:24.309 --> 00:15:26.529 restart today. That's right, start my day over. 00:15:26.570 --> 00:15:29.210 We talked about that a couple episodes ago. I'm 00:15:29.210 --> 00:15:32.830 starting over. Big Al taught me that. Yeah, well, 00:15:32.990 --> 00:15:36.029 and I think that's all valid, you know, not just 00:15:36.029 --> 00:15:38.570 start our day over, but start our day over, like 00:15:38.570 --> 00:15:40.889 you said, start our day over with Jesus, start 00:15:40.889 --> 00:15:43.269 our day over with Christ, start our day over 00:15:43.269 --> 00:15:46.330 with an invitation to have his spirit always 00:15:46.330 --> 00:15:49.820 to be with me, just a realignment. You know those 00:15:49.820 --> 00:15:52.100 little Jesuses that everybody's finding. I found 00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:54.159 another one the other day in the airport. It's 00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:58.039 so interesting and I think about this and my 00:15:58.039 --> 00:16:00.720 sweet sister Beck that talks about everybody 00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:02.820 needs a little more Jesus. We just need a little 00:16:02.820 --> 00:16:05.419 Jesus and so whenever I see those little figurines 00:16:05.419 --> 00:16:07.559 and I don't know for all of you though, no they're 00:16:07.559 --> 00:16:11.080 little, maybe half an inch, maybe inch at the 00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:13.980 most. little figurines. They're almost rubber. 00:16:14.019 --> 00:16:16.740 They're rubber. Of Jesus. When you say figurine, 00:16:17.059 --> 00:16:21.580 I think of like ceramic. Oh, no, no. It's what 00:16:21.580 --> 00:16:23.860 would you call it? It's rubber. Yeah, it's like 00:16:23.860 --> 00:16:27.100 an eraser almost, but it's not. And it's of Jesus. 00:16:27.559 --> 00:16:30.200 Yeah, it is. And they're various, they're different 00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:33.559 ones, different color sash. And people are putting 00:16:33.559 --> 00:16:36.460 them all over. And what you're supposed to do 00:16:36.460 --> 00:16:37.940 is if you find one, you're supposed to hide it 00:16:37.940 --> 00:16:40.299 in another place so people can find Jesus. I 00:16:40.299 --> 00:16:41.980 mean, this is a thing that's going on in the 00:16:41.980 --> 00:16:43.899 world and I'm probably late in the game and you 00:16:43.899 --> 00:16:45.879 all listeners probably already know all about 00:16:45.879 --> 00:16:48.799 this, but I didn't know about it. And so Scott 00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:50.440 was bringing some home and we're like putting 00:16:50.440 --> 00:16:52.350 some on our Christmas tree and my grand. Kids 00:16:52.350 --> 00:16:53.730 are telling me, Grammy, you're not supposed to 00:16:53.730 --> 00:16:55.269 keep them. You're supposed to hide them again 00:16:55.269 --> 00:16:57.509 so people can find Jesus. Yeah, that's spreading 00:16:57.509 --> 00:17:01.389 Jesus is the. But I think that's such a that's 00:17:01.389 --> 00:17:05.029 a sweet little reminder that, you know, it's 00:17:05.029 --> 00:17:07.529 the beep beep beep. Oh, there's Jesus. Kind of 00:17:07.529 --> 00:17:10.349 idea. Yeah. I think we actually have kind of 00:17:10.349 --> 00:17:14.390 those redirective mechanisms built in. And sometimes 00:17:14.390 --> 00:17:18.410 that redirective mechanism can be such a quiet. 00:17:20.289 --> 00:17:24.269 intrusion of our normality or normal life, if 00:17:24.269 --> 00:17:26.609 you will, or whatever, that it just comes in 00:17:26.609 --> 00:17:29.930 and just sneakily gets us and we call it a drift. 00:17:30.589 --> 00:17:32.829 You know, we're just drifting. And then pretty 00:17:32.829 --> 00:17:36.450 soon we realize, so the moment that we notice 00:17:36.450 --> 00:17:38.609 the drift, that can be the beep. You know, it's 00:17:38.609 --> 00:17:41.799 not loud. It's quiet, nothing about the spirit's 00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:43.859 gonna be loud. I know, I just want it to yell 00:17:43.859 --> 00:17:47.640 at me. No, I'm building on your example because 00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:50.200 I think that's a wonderful example. I think that 00:17:50.200 --> 00:17:53.140 we have those and we should, okay, decide what 00:17:53.140 --> 00:17:56.660 are the things in my life that give me those 00:17:56.660 --> 00:17:58.579 flashing warnings? They're not gonna be loud. 00:17:58.980 --> 00:18:01.740 So when I feel just disconnected rather than 00:18:01.740 --> 00:18:07.160 thinking, wow, what am I doing wrong? and focusing 00:18:07.160 --> 00:18:13.200 on a self -degrading, self -indicating inventory. 00:18:13.319 --> 00:18:15.079 Now, I think we have to be honest with ourselves 00:18:15.079 --> 00:18:17.740 for sure, and we have to be willing to take a 00:18:17.740 --> 00:18:20.019 look at where we are wrong and then promptly 00:18:20.019 --> 00:18:22.640 admit it, make changes where we need to, for 00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:27.980 example. But I think that when we... are in that 00:18:27.980 --> 00:18:31.420 space rather than go into self indictment that 00:18:31.420 --> 00:18:35.019 we just are willing to stay and because we know 00:18:35.019 --> 00:18:38.500 what we know about him because of our relationship 00:18:38.500 --> 00:18:41.779 and the experiences that we've had with him we 00:18:41.779 --> 00:18:44.380 know that he's with us even in that and we know 00:18:44.380 --> 00:18:49.299 that sometimes we need to be in it and we always 00:18:49.299 --> 00:18:53.180 need him with us in it or out of it and I think 00:18:53.180 --> 00:18:58.450 that can be helpful for us. For me, it's seeking 00:18:58.450 --> 00:19:02.269 Him. And even though it's just like, okay, I 00:19:02.269 --> 00:19:04.690 always go to the sacrament prayer of that willingness. 00:19:05.309 --> 00:19:07.549 It's like, okay, I just gotta go to willingness. 00:19:07.970 --> 00:19:10.450 I'm willing, God, I'm willing. Just work with 00:19:10.450 --> 00:19:13.190 me. I'm so human. I live in this fallen world 00:19:13.190 --> 00:19:17.329 and I am a very fallen human. I just, please 00:19:17.329 --> 00:19:19.630 be patient with me, because I really am willing. 00:19:20.269 --> 00:19:22.869 Well, and in the sacrament prayer, what are we 00:19:22.869 --> 00:19:24.930 willing to do? We're willing to take his name 00:19:24.930 --> 00:19:29.529 upon us. And taking his name upon us. So that 00:19:29.529 --> 00:19:31.549 we can always have his spirit to be with us. 00:19:31.549 --> 00:19:34.450 That's right, yeah. And that's the piece that 00:19:34.450 --> 00:19:37.430 it's like, I want all of that to come together, 00:19:37.890 --> 00:19:41.890 but I want it right now. And I want it on my 00:19:41.890 --> 00:19:47.130 terms. I know. I relate to that. So, you know, 00:19:47.289 --> 00:19:50.630 sometimes I just have to be okay, being still. 00:19:51.029 --> 00:19:55.609 I'm still willing. I'm still praying. I may not 00:19:55.609 --> 00:20:00.910 be feeling the, you know, powerful spiritual 00:20:00.910 --> 00:20:03.710 experiences that I really want to feel in the 00:20:03.710 --> 00:20:06.750 moment, but I know he's there. I truly know he's 00:20:06.750 --> 00:20:09.670 there. And I think, I think one of the things 00:20:09.670 --> 00:20:13.390 that invites the spirit the quickest for me is 00:20:13.390 --> 00:20:16.029 when I go to gratitude. And one of the, I've 00:20:16.029 --> 00:20:18.250 said this so many times, but tonight is another 00:20:18.250 --> 00:20:22.269 example. I parked my car at work in an underground 00:20:22.269 --> 00:20:24.730 parking. And when I pull out of the underground 00:20:24.730 --> 00:20:29.710 parking, I'm facing Southwest and I am wowed, 00:20:30.049 --> 00:20:33.410 literally audible. Like I'm in my car by myself 00:20:33.410 --> 00:20:39.269 and I'm like, Wow, at these sunsets, like gratitude. 00:20:39.829 --> 00:20:42.650 Thank you, Heavenly Father, for such a beautiful 00:20:42.650 --> 00:20:45.630 sunset. And I think gratitude is the very first 00:20:45.630 --> 00:20:50.910 thing that brings me back to, puts me back in 00:20:50.910 --> 00:20:56.250 focus, puts me back on track with my relationship 00:20:56.250 --> 00:20:58.769 with Jesus and my relationship with Heavenly 00:20:58.769 --> 00:21:02.450 Father. When I practice gratitude, and sometimes 00:21:02.450 --> 00:21:05.109 I have to practice it, Yeah, sometimes sometimes 00:21:05.109 --> 00:21:07.990 it's just not just it doesn't just pop up for 00:21:07.990 --> 00:21:10.849 me. It's not just super easy, you know, but but 00:21:10.849 --> 00:21:15.450 when I practice gratitude, everything changes 00:21:15.450 --> 00:21:18.750 for me. And that also, Deb, draws me closer to 00:21:18.750 --> 00:21:21.450 him. Gratitude, even when things don't seem like 00:21:21.450 --> 00:21:23.910 there's much to be grateful for. Yeah. Well, 00:21:24.089 --> 00:21:27.089 gratitude isn't pretending. Well, you know, not 00:21:27.089 --> 00:21:30.210 pretending or minimizing your pain or sorrow 00:21:30.210 --> 00:21:32.740 or grief that you're going through. And it's 00:21:32.740 --> 00:21:36.200 not forcing that, you know, positivity. Yes, 00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:39.119 this is a great day, even though it sucked. You 00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:42.299 know what I mean? It's not comparing suffering. 00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:45.859 Oh, I had a way worse day than you did kind of 00:21:45.859 --> 00:21:48.299 thing. That's not what gratitude is. Yeah. Yeah. 00:21:48.599 --> 00:21:51.740 Or I had a way better day. Exactly. I'm thankful 00:21:51.740 --> 00:21:55.119 I'm not him or I'm thankful I'm not her. Exactly. 00:21:55.380 --> 00:21:57.559 But for the grace of God now, but for the grace 00:21:57.559 --> 00:22:00.859 of God, that is a deep. that I have to think 00:22:00.859 --> 00:22:03.460 quite a bit, especially as I'm working with others 00:22:03.460 --> 00:22:05.980 in Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery programs, 00:22:06.059 --> 00:22:08.920 because I have to think that, and that is my 00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:11.119 gratitude, but for the grace of God there go 00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:13.680 I. And I'm grateful that because of my relationship 00:22:13.680 --> 00:22:16.140 that I'm having a different experience, but you're 00:22:16.140 --> 00:22:18.400 right. You know what else gratitude isn't? It's 00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:20.559 not me being your cheerleader spiritually or 00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:23.440 you being my cheerleader spiritually. You know, 00:22:23.460 --> 00:22:27.500 sometimes gratitude isn't jumping jacks and lollipops 00:22:27.500 --> 00:22:30.440 and butterflies. and every, you know, oh, I'm 00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:32.240 so grateful, I'm so grateful, I'm so grateful. 00:22:32.339 --> 00:22:34.440 And I think that's gratitude too, but sometimes 00:22:34.440 --> 00:22:37.920 gratitude is just, you know what, today I didn't 00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:40.740 spiral completely out of control. And I could 00:22:40.740 --> 00:22:44.400 have, you know, or I made it through the day 00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:48.130 today. Yeah, you know what gratitude is for a 00:22:48.130 --> 00:22:50.369 still suffering alcoholic who's brand new in 00:22:50.369 --> 00:22:52.549 recovery. And I know a lot of them right now 00:22:52.549 --> 00:22:55.349 that happens every time every year at this time, 00:22:55.349 --> 00:22:59.210 it seems like. But for some of them is I just 00:22:59.210 --> 00:23:02.529 made it through the day without a drink or a 00:23:02.529 --> 00:23:05.690 drug or I made it through the day without a fit 00:23:05.690 --> 00:23:07.849 of anger or I made it through the day without 00:23:07.849 --> 00:23:11.170 a suicidal ideology or I made it through the 00:23:11.170 --> 00:23:14.549 day without wondering, are you really there? 00:23:14.990 --> 00:23:18.569 You know and do you hear and answer prayers? 00:23:19.789 --> 00:23:25.950 Yeah, yeah, so it's just a lining For me When 00:23:25.950 --> 00:23:29.690 I'm like that my gratitude shows up most when 00:23:29.690 --> 00:23:32.769 I have eyes to see and I have to make a choice 00:23:32.769 --> 00:23:35.549 Sometimes to have those eyes and it requires 00:23:35.549 --> 00:23:38.569 effort on my part, but when I have eyes to see 00:23:38.569 --> 00:23:41.960 the tender mercies the instruments of grace, 00:23:42.640 --> 00:23:45.660 that the spirit of the Holy Ghost is administered 00:23:45.660 --> 00:23:48.299 through the atonement of Jesus Christ in my life, 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:52.319 that for me is real gratitude when I have felt 00:23:52.319 --> 00:23:57.079 that. In addition to some of that, one of the 00:23:57.079 --> 00:24:01.299 things that I think that really helps for me 00:24:01.299 --> 00:24:05.049 is when I... Think about and I think it would 00:24:05.049 --> 00:24:09.049 be a good idea. I don't do this. I do do a Inventory 00:24:09.049 --> 00:24:11.289 journal, maybe I should start doing this type 00:24:11.289 --> 00:24:14.049 of a journal But I what if we what if we kept 00:24:14.049 --> 00:24:17.630 a journal or a record of when did I feel held? 00:24:18.470 --> 00:24:22.670 By him when did I feel last held quietly even 00:24:22.670 --> 00:24:24.769 by him? We had an experience just recently where 00:24:24.769 --> 00:24:28.740 somebody send a text to somebody that we know 00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:32.559 and they have gone back to partaking of the sacrament 00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:34.779 and the renewing of covenants and various things 00:24:34.779 --> 00:24:36.799 and they said when they walked into the church 00:24:36.799 --> 00:24:40.660 after many years of being absent that they felt 00:24:40.660 --> 00:24:45.140 held by him and that he said Welcome home. This 00:24:45.140 --> 00:24:48.140 is where you belong. You know even you know, 00:24:48.140 --> 00:24:51.759 we think of and we've talked about we're in a 00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:53.779 fallen world and we're in a fallen state but 00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:57.680 You know, after teaching the divine gift of forgiveness 00:24:57.680 --> 00:25:01.019 the last five years, you know, it has taught 00:25:01.019 --> 00:25:06.299 me to be grateful for the fall. And I think that 00:25:06.299 --> 00:25:09.960 was such a pivotal time for me to literally be 00:25:09.960 --> 00:25:14.240 grateful for the fall so that I know sorrow and 00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:18.440 I know joy, that I know good and evil. I'm so 00:25:18.440 --> 00:25:21.480 grateful for this opportunity because again, 00:25:21.500 --> 00:25:24.930 being at these funerals go, You graduated. You 00:25:24.930 --> 00:25:27.509 get to go on. You get to, you get to go to the 00:25:27.509 --> 00:25:31.089 next part, you know, the next portion of your, 00:25:31.089 --> 00:25:34.690 you know, pillar of existence or whatever. But 00:25:34.690 --> 00:25:39.410 it's like we, sometimes I've never been taught 00:25:39.410 --> 00:25:42.329 or never even thought to be grateful for the 00:25:42.329 --> 00:25:44.430 fall of Adam and Eve. You know, oftentimes we 00:25:44.430 --> 00:25:47.660 curse it. that darn weeds and those that pain 00:25:47.660 --> 00:25:51.279 in birth a childbirth and Adam and Eve and well, 00:25:51.279 --> 00:25:54.279 I'm grateful Yeah restoration scripture and modern 00:25:54.279 --> 00:25:57.339 -day prophets have really helped us to understand 00:25:57.339 --> 00:25:59.400 the fall of Adam and Eve that it's truly one 00:25:59.400 --> 00:26:02.380 of the pillars of eternity the creation the fall 00:26:02.380 --> 00:26:05.839 the atonement Right of Jesus Christ the pillars 00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:09.140 of eternity and and you know the the fall was 00:26:09.140 --> 00:26:11.980 a plan and the fall was put into place so that 00:26:11.980 --> 00:26:14.890 we could have these experiences and so that we 00:26:14.890 --> 00:26:17.170 could understand, and we'll talk more about this 00:26:17.170 --> 00:26:19.609 potentially next week, we need to talk about 00:26:19.609 --> 00:26:23.150 the fall of Adam and Eve. And we'll talk about 00:26:23.150 --> 00:26:27.130 how that this was all put into place so that 00:26:27.130 --> 00:26:32.730 we could understand. our need for a Redeemer. 00:26:33.230 --> 00:26:35.970 Dependency. Absolute. We need to be saved. One 00:26:35.970 --> 00:26:38.450 hundred percent dependent on Him, whether we 00:26:38.450 --> 00:26:40.750 even know it or not. Even our own breath. Even 00:26:40.750 --> 00:26:44.049 if we know it or not. Right. And I think that 00:26:44.049 --> 00:26:48.170 that's it. You know, the drift. Let's not let 00:26:48.170 --> 00:26:52.349 that be our focus. Yeah, I think and I don't 00:26:52.349 --> 00:26:54.369 think gratitude has to be loud. I think it can 00:26:54.369 --> 00:26:57.730 just be a quiet, you know, Heavenly Father, thank 00:26:57.730 --> 00:27:02.650 you. And again, what we focus on grows. And sometimes 00:27:02.650 --> 00:27:04.809 I have to take a personal inventory during the 00:27:04.809 --> 00:27:09.930 day and just say, what am I focusing on? Am I 00:27:09.930 --> 00:27:13.390 focusing on what other people think or am I focusing 00:27:13.390 --> 00:27:17.130 on my relationship with my savior? Right. And 00:27:17.130 --> 00:27:22.609 that's where the drift ends. Or if the drift 00:27:22.609 --> 00:27:25.329 continues or the drift feels like it's continuing. 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:28.440 That's where we have the companionship to help 00:27:28.440 --> 00:27:31.680 us in it. Yeah, he's going to help us. And even 00:27:31.680 --> 00:27:35.779 if we're in mess and hard and dirty situations 00:27:35.779 --> 00:27:39.680 that we don't see the end of, I promise and I 00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:44.960 testify that he will show up for you if you ask. 00:27:45.420 --> 00:27:50.420 He is not going to defile our agents, go against 00:27:50.420 --> 00:27:53.539 our agency, and he's not going to just jump in. 00:27:54.009 --> 00:27:57.789 But if we plead and if we ask for Him to be with 00:27:57.789 --> 00:28:01.309 us, I testify He will be there in that dirt and 00:28:01.309 --> 00:28:03.849 the mud and the pain and the grief and the sorrow, 00:28:03.970 --> 00:28:06.789 because He showed up for me. And I know that 00:28:06.789 --> 00:28:10.390 He does. And we may not get the answers immediately 00:28:10.390 --> 00:28:13.549 and we may have to wait. And again, it might 00:28:13.549 --> 00:28:17.970 not be in this lifetime, but He never leaves 00:28:17.970 --> 00:28:22.509 us alone, ever. He will never leave us. He knows 00:28:22.509 --> 00:28:25.769 what that feels like. And so amongst our challenges 00:28:25.769 --> 00:28:30.130 and our trials, call upon him, focus on him, 00:28:30.390 --> 00:28:33.789 focus on that relationship, focus on that, that 00:28:33.789 --> 00:28:36.950 connection with him so that he can be with us 00:28:36.950 --> 00:28:41.950 and me always, always, that we may always have 00:28:41.950 --> 00:28:45.170 his spirit to be with us. And sometimes just 00:28:45.170 --> 00:28:48.970 remember being willing is enough. You're not 00:28:48.970 --> 00:28:51.970 failing. You're not behind. He really is closer 00:28:51.970 --> 00:28:55.410 than you think. As we wrap things up today, I 00:28:55.410 --> 00:28:57.910 just want to say thanks for being with us. You 00:28:57.910 --> 00:29:01.410 know, I know you feel this. You know we feel 00:29:01.410 --> 00:29:03.609 this. This is something that we're all going 00:29:03.609 --> 00:29:06.769 to feel from time to time throughout our mortal 00:29:06.769 --> 00:29:10.069 existence. The important thing is, is that we 00:29:10.069 --> 00:29:13.390 remember where to put our focus. When we focus 00:29:13.390 --> 00:29:15.890 on our problems, our problems will expand because 00:29:15.890 --> 00:29:18.849 it becomes an inward issue. When we focus on 00:29:18.849 --> 00:29:21.490 the solution and the solution is Jesus Christ, 00:29:21.670 --> 00:29:25.130 the answer to Every question, every problem, 00:29:25.549 --> 00:29:28.089 according to President Nelson in a talk given 00:29:28.089 --> 00:29:32.369 not that long ago is Jesus Christ, the answer 00:29:32.369 --> 00:29:35.589 to everything. I believe that and I testify that 00:29:35.589 --> 00:29:37.490 it's true. So let's this week, let's not just 00:29:37.490 --> 00:29:41.069 let's not try to feel more. Let's not measure 00:29:41.069 --> 00:29:44.150 our discipleship by our emotions. Let's measure 00:29:44.150 --> 00:29:46.670 it rather by our faith and by our relationship 00:29:46.670 --> 00:29:50.130 with them. And let's gently redirect that attention, 00:29:50.250 --> 00:29:55.039 our focus. our focus towards Jesus Christ. And 00:29:55.039 --> 00:29:58.220 remember that whatever we look at expands, whatever 00:29:58.220 --> 00:30:01.839 we look at grows. We love you, friends. Thank 00:30:01.839 --> 00:30:05.259 you for listening and being with us. Thanks for 00:30:05.259 --> 00:30:08.099 being with us, everybody. We'll see you again 00:30:08.099 --> 00:30:10.019 next week, and until then, be well.