Hey everybody, welcome back to redeem through
his blood at Scott got Deb here. Hey Deb. Hi
Hello friends. How are you sweetie? I'm good.
Good. Good. Good. Good Deb and I just got back
from a really fun weekend It's kind of an annual.
I almost want to call it a pilgrimage Yeah, almost
a pilgrimage we go down to the national finals
rodeo every year Buy our tickets in March, February,
March, April, and go in December. Go with Craig
and Carmen, our cousins, my cousin closest to
me in age, so my oldest and longest time. Earthly
mortal friend. It's kind of cool. You know, we've
been Craig Craig and I have been building memories
since we were in diapers And I think and you
will until you're in diapers again, I knew I
knew you were gonna go there I knew you were
started there. I I really teed that up well for
you, didn't I? Oh, that's funny. Yeah, anyway,
a lot of fun at the rodeo. We always do. And
this year was no exception. Before I get into
all that, though, because it will lead into our
topic today. Last week, we talked about the gift
of God's Son. I just loved the idea that you
had around that and how important that was. We've
got a lot of response about it, actually. a couple
of emails and so forth and appreciate that. You
can email us just to remind you he redeems us
at gmail .com Responded to a couple recently
have a young lady who might be going through
some stuff Deb that under needed to understand
and have some Maybe the podcast around forgiveness
I can really yeah, I know that she wanted to
share your experience with somebody and Yeah,
so I thought that was cool. You needed to know
you needed to know about that But anyway back
to back to that topic of last week. Have you
had something that you you said you? kind of
felt like you wanted to. Well, it's interesting
because I'm kind of a delayed, you know, when
somebody says something to you and you have a,
you think later about the response, I should
have said this. I had that moment this last week
with our topic and it hit me because we were
down at the NFR. National Finals Rodeo, and I
see John 3 .16 everywhere, and I'm like, that
is exactly what we were talking about in our
podcast. Not that this is a new scripture to
me, but it's like. for God so loved the world
he loved us that he gave his only begotten son
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish
but have everlasting life what do we want more
than anything everlasting life i'm like why didn't
i say john 3 16 so there's my there's my late
response to last episodes It just kind of high
-fived me in the forehead and said, duh, Deb,
you've seen this your entire life around Christmas
time, for God so loved the world. Yeah, and he
does love us. He did give us his son. If you
haven't listened to last week's episode, I encourage
you to go back and do it. It's just a gem, absolute
gem, because of some of the stuff that Deb brought
up in that, and it's a great one. Anyway, thanks
for doing that. Well, just remember John 3 16.
You know, you know what, you know, one of the
things that I love about rodeo and kind of the
Western lifestyle is when we go there, you know,
I don't know if you'll remember, I'm sure you
do. We were there for so as this is a 10 night
event, it's literally the Super Bowl of rodeo,
right? And each night, they begin the rodeo with
a prayer. and the Pledge of Allegiance. Yeah,
they do. The prayer first, though. Yeah, they
do. Before anything. They say a prayer. And I
think it was the ninth night. Whoever said the
prayer really spent a lot of time talking about
how grateful we are this time of year for the
gift of God's Son to provide forgiveness. And
I think it was even said something along the
lines to answer the effects of the fallen world
because we are in a fallen world. Don't know.
I think the more we live the more obvious it
becomes that we're definitely in a fallen world
but that but that's one of those things that
just It's a it's a little positive thing in an
area where there's just a total It's total chaos
in the middle of Vegas. There's a pause there
for a prayer. Yeah, it's pretty cool Yeah, it
is pretty cool. Yeah, and you know, it was it
was noisy. They have what's called cowboy Christmas
And it's everywhere on these big venues and big
events. And there's tons of swag. I mean, I don't
even know what to call it. There's vendors from
big trucks and trailers and, you know, hauling.
What do they even call those? I don't know. And
campers, trailers, trailers that have horses.
And then you can live in them down to little
trinkets and ornaments. jewelry and clothing
and boots and hats and like literally cowboy
Christmas and I remember a couple years ago we
went down there and I was like I need nothing
absolutely nothing and I ended up buying a whole
bunch of stuff a set of patio furniture that
has a 35 year warranty. Good thing you brought
up that 35 year warranty that does dissipate
some of the pain for me for sure. It's so funny
anyway. It's just noisy and it's cowboy Christmas.
But it's Christmas and it's crazy and there's
chaos and we did take time to go to sacrament
meeting on Sunday which was just a wonderful
experience. We went to the temple on Saturday
morning. We like diversity. changed, you know,
when we first started going to this many, many.
Over a decade and a half ago, you know, we were
younger and had a lot more energy and wanted
to see and do a lot more. And now today we just
slow down and go to the temple and as soon as
the road is over, we go back to the hotel. But
you know what? Admit all that chaos, you know,
and it's pretty apropos for this time of year
to just everywhere you go, you have an opportunity
to submerge yourself in chaos. We're in the middle
of Christmas. in the middle of Christmas season.
It's almost here. About a week, you know this
I don't think this will be our last episode before
Christmas We may be able to squeeze one in next
week, but let's be honest, you know It'll be
the days before Christmas and I'm not sure that
we're all gonna get the time to listen anyway
Because it just gets so crazy this time and we're
busy Yeah, the hustle and bustle. Yes. Yeah concerts
and performances and plays and I mean all kinds
of Christmas things that we can go attend and
you know our grandkids or kids or or or even
if you want to just go enjoy a concert of some
sort, Christmas concerts, you know, and play.
Anyway, there's just so much going on. It's a
glorious mess. Yeah, but with that glorious mess,
you know, there's, for example, there's going
to be some things for grandkids this Christmas
season that unfortunately, because of a work
schedule, I got to be in Miami in a couple of
days for work to speak and do a few things. We
miss the family Christmas. We miss a family Christmas
party where we're gonna have to miss a couple
of those grandkids things I will But the point
is the point is is this is how Christmas can
be, you know We get we get so many expectations
and we get so wrapped up and even Even the good
parts of Christmas we get so wrapped up in okay.
We got to be here We got to get our ministering
families all of these little things We got to
make sure that we get our Christmas cards out
We've got to make sure that we respond to we
got to make sure we write to the missionaries
We got to make sure that we're donating here
We got to make sure that we're spending time
here and just even saying this is exhausting
me Yeah, right And so with all of that... It's
the expectations we put on Christmas, for sure.
Well, and I think it's the expectations that
are put on Christmas by our society, by each
one of us individually or whatever. But you know
what happens when we do that? You know, the seed
of resentment is expectation. A hundred percent.
So when I get all of these expectations going
around a holiday season or around anything else
for that matter I'm really set myself up for
an opportunity for whatever that is in this case
Christmas or the Christmas season or the Christmas
holiday to be affected. Maybe even ruined if
something doesn't happen the way that I see that
it should happen. Does that make sense? And I've
been thinking a lot about that. There's a lot
of expectations. we put on ourselves that others
also could be putting on us that we may not know
about. Well, as a mom and a grandma, I always
like to have things in perfect order. Now, saying
that, I do serve our Christmas dinner and our
Thanksgiving dinner on paper plates and plastic.
Forks and spoons because we have so many kids.
However, I have this dream somewhere in my world
that you know How awesome would it be to sit
up to a table like dress, you know with China
and a candle burning and it's just not my world
It's as much as I would love that. It is just
not my world. I don't know why but it's just
it's It's how life really is it's like I have
seven children with spouses and 16 grandkids
and our gatherings get messy and noisy and chaotic.
I think that's our message this week. You know,
Christmas doesn't have to exist in ideal circumstances
in order for Christmas to have the meaning that
Christmas should have, right? Yeah, it's taken
me a long time to realize that. I'm still trying
to practice it, too. I'm trying to get better
at it. For sure. Because I still have those.
You know, I still have those. But here's the
thing, Deb. Let's think about it. You know, why
should Christmas be perfect? Because he was perfect,
we want a perfect Christmas. Celebrate perfection?
I don't know. Yeah, I guess so. But the first
Christmas, what if the expectation around the
first Christmas was perfection? You know what
I've thought about that, and his nursery was
not ready. I mean, let's just go to that detail
in and of itself. It's like, you know, I look
at these new moms that, and I was a new mom once,
and I had to get the nursery all ready for the
baby. It's like, where was Jesus' nursery? And
I realize that was not the day and time, but
it really does make you push pause and reflect
on the importance, because His birth was not
ideal. No, and it doesn't matter the day and
time. Whatever the day and time is, the circumstances
that Jesus was born into was sub... par to any
any conditions of that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
exactly. Yeah. Right. And she almost feel better.
I mean, it makes me like, oh, it kind of gives
me the reason to exhale because it's like, where
are we really comparing ourselves? I know to
Jesus or to others. Well, you know what I mean?
And I think the answer to that's clear 100 percent.
But it really makes me push pause. Yeah. Put
the mirror in front of my face, for sure. Yeah.
Yeah, well it will you know I want to just kind
of take this and break it down a little bit You
know let's let's just consider for example the
conditions around the first Christmas now We're
not going to get in I think we mentioned this
last week We're not going to do a full traditional
Christmas layout here. We didn't last week We're
not going to this week, and we won't next week
either We have done those in years past and encourage
you that if you want to go back and Really get
into some interesting detail that David had to
to to share with us just an awesome awesome experience
to go back and do that but we're gonna we're
gonna talk about more along the lines of how
do how does think how do things compare today
to us and for us to what it was like maybe for
them so let's think about that you know what
were the conditions around that first Christmas
number one Mary and Joseph were under Roman decree
they're being forced politically to move, and
we know that that was not probably 100 % pleasant.
There's no room for them anywhere. Yeah, not
staying in any hotel or anything. They couldn't
stay in the inn. No, they couldn't stay in the
inn. Part of the con, they had to go into the
manger, and Jesus was born in a very lowly of
circumstances, as you just mentioned, among the
animals. God didn't wait. for peace on earth
before he sent. Or until the circumstance was
perfect. Exactly. Yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah. That's a really good point. He didn't wait
for that ideal circumstance to say, OK, now the
King of Kings can be born. Right. That's that's
an interesting way to look at that. Right. That
God that loves us so much. Wow. Yeah. He sent
us the answer in the middle and in the midst
of humility and lowly of heart and all of that.
Right. But so that helps me to understand that
joy didn't result from the calm. It created the
calm. Well, you think about Silent Night. When
it says all is calm all is bright that star shone
bright And I think it caused a lot of people
that were living in that chaos They were not
the only ones having to go under Roman decree.
They were not the only ones that didn't have
room in the inn You know what? I mean, there
was a lot of chaos going on but when you think
about the Calmness that came when that star shone
so bright it got the shepherds attention. It
got the wise men's attention it was all as calm
all as bright what part do you think was calm
and bright because there was chaos still going
on just like I'm gonna go back to the NFR because
I have association there but you know we went
down the strip and and watch you know the the
chaos and crazy and the noise and whatever it
is and you can find what you're looking for and
then you can go enter into a chapel or enter
into a temple and find peace where all is calm
and all is bright. So it's like, you know, and
when Christ was born, yeah, He was born in the
chaos, but He brought that joy and calm with
Him, like all babies do. And I think the idea
here is then, is that Christmas is... We shouldn't
treat it with the fragility that we sometimes
treat it. It's not fragile. You know, it's never
going to be perfect. Probably. I mean, for some,
maybe. You know, I doubt it. But for some, maybe.
It depends on the expectation of what perfection
is, what perfect means. You're 100 % right about
that. To be able to manage those expectations,
Deb, to the extent that we're able to manage
those expectations through the lens of the spirit
that that allows us to have a more peaceful time
during this season. Well, I think, too, it's
important to be able to go into the season and
into the parties and to whatever it is that you
plan or that you plan to attend or whatever that
is of whatever. It's that, you know, it's like
this could be calm and this could be chaos. And
whatever it is, it's supposed to be and just
honor where it is. You know what I mean? It's
like our family gathering. It's when they start
coming, it's peaceful and calm and welcoming.
And then when we start getting the food out and
things get spilled and kids tip over and cry
or whatever happens. I mean, it gets it gets
noisy and chaotic, but it's perfect. The chaos
is perfect. The noise is perfect. The calm is
perfect. The mess is perfect. And if we look
at it with the expectation that it's all meant
to be, it's all supposed to happen the way it's
supposed to happen. Uncle so and so gets all
upset because somebody said the wrong thing or
whatever. I mean, there could be so many, so
many things played out in whatever it looks like
but just knowing literally when you when I go
into a that a party or when I ever I host a party
when I have the attitude of whatever for me it's
important that I remember what we said earlier
so I'm going to restate it which is this Christmas
doesn't depend on ideal conditions right and
Christ came in chaos and joy came with him, and
joy came with him in chaos. And so, you know,
how do we have joy in chaos? We look for Christ,
right? I mean, that's just, so I think there's
a couple of things that we really kind of need
to make sure that we're identifying here, what
that even means. So number one, we have to disassociate
joy with happiness. Joy does not necessarily
mean happiness, right? So what do I mean by that?
I mean how would you explain the difference between
or how joy and happiness, how is there a differentiation
there? I think it's happiness as the world sees
it or happiness or joy as our happiness as the
Lord sees it because I think you can you can
be joy you can have joy and happiness. However,
I think we have this, again, expectation of what
really brings us happiness in this life. Is it
the perfect gift? Is it the perfect situation?
Is it the perfect whatever? I think it's where
our focus is. And when we focus on the worldly
piece of what really makes us happy, there was
a quote when President Nelson says, happiness
is not about what's happening in your life, it's
about the focus in your life. So who are we focusing
on? Not what's happening, but who are we focusing
on? And I think that's where joy comes from,
right? Joy, if you really think about, for me,
joy, presence plus meaning. You know, so in other
words, but to have people present, you know,
there. people of meaning in my life. That's where
joy comes from. And it's not necessarily how
they show up. It's just that they show up or
that they desire to show up. And sometimes that
just can't happen. But you know who showed up?
And when we think about this, one of the names
for Jesus is Emmanuel. Which means? God with
us. Not God after us, but God with us. He is
among us now. You know, one thing about Emmanuel
is God with us. He also delivers. Another word
for him is deliverer. Yeah. And he delivers peace
and joy. Yeah, you know what? And that's a great
point. Remember a few weeks ago when we were
talking about when we were talking to Nick and
Crystal? And Nick said that Jesus likes to get
his hands dirty, right? We do find joy in the,
did you say brokenness? Brokenness, messiness,
or dirt, or whatever. Anything that doesn't feel
right or misaligned. Right? We can find joy there
if we find Him there. And so, Deb, are you suggesting
then that in the middle of chaos and in the middle
of non -met or un -met expectations and disappointment
and all of that that comes in potentially in
at Christmas season, that we still may find joy
to the world? You know what? Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
I think the joy is where our focus is. I think
that's truly the bottom line here is what are
we really focused on? And to gather as a family
or to even be invited to, you know, a stranger,
be invited by a stranger or invite a stranger
in, you know? I mean, that's, you know, everybody
loves that connection and being present and being
noticed and being... You know fed whether it's
a physical food or whether it's you know, one
of the traditions I love that we do is our little
nativity We have all the grandkids dress up and
some of them know nothing about the nativity
and they want to be a superhero in there Some
of them want to be a you know Not a donkey, but
you know an animal that did never a zebra a giraffe
or whatever a unicorn So it's it and it is it's
perfect. It's like yes, you can be a zebra in
our in our nativity Yes, you can, you can be,
um, you know, Superman or whatever, but it's,
I think it's important that we remained for me
to remain focused on the deliver the Emmanuel.
You know, one of the gifts that we got from our
ward one year was a whole bunch of little tiny
cards that sit on a pedestal that are all the
names of Jesus. And I also have a lot of ornaments
that have those, the comforter, the the deliverer,
the redeemer. I mean, there's so many names for
him. And when I push, literally again, when I
push pause and just focus on how he shows up
in my life, I stand all amazed and I'm overwhelmed
because, you know, we had, you know, I talked
about this before we have our little kickoff
to Christmas, our Thanksgiving dinner, the Sunday
after Thanksgiving and give our kids, their grandkids,
their Christmas pajamas. And I watched such a
little miracle there with, you know, our, our
son who was triggered because he was away from
his, his son. And I, we got, you know, and I'm
thinking, Oh, I've done the wrong thing. Oh shoot.
I shouldn't have given the kids their pajamas.
Cause now Bowen misses Eli so much. And, and
then I watched, I just sat back and I, I, I kind
of pulled the whatever. and we were trying to
get pictures and Lexi and Bowen were both missing
and I found them at the side of the house both
in tears because Lexi was mourning with those
that mourned and then when I was talking to them
I said is it okay if I go in the house because
you have a family here that cares and a Tim who
has a daughter in California Said, I know exactly
what he's going through. And I watched that little
miracle walk out the side of my house, put his
arms around his brother and say, I know what
you're going through. You know, that's Christmas
to me. Trevor, who deals with very similar feelings.
I know what that feels like. I'm going to go
out there. And eventually puffy teared eyes came
right back into the house and we got to witness
such a tender little miracle of that gathering.
I didn't plan that. You couldn't plan that. But
it was perfect. It was absolutely perfect. There
was joy in that. Pure joy. There was joy in that.
And that's what you mean. That's what we mean
when we say it's not perfect. And it shouldn't
be perfect. And Jesus and Christmas do better
where we really need Jesus and Christmas. I love
that we put up the lights. I love that we do
the decorations. I love everything about Christmas,
I really do. But sometimes, Deb, the expectations
that allow the accuser to just scream at me,
it's not enough, it will never be enough, and
everything along those lines really distracts
me sometimes from what I really need to be focused
on. What I really need to be focused on is what
you just described, what we saw that night and
what we have seen and still see many, many other
nights, but it's really about receiving Jesus.
Receiving Christ, just like we talked about last
week, the Father's gift to us is receiving him.
It doesn't require me to be ready necessarily.
I mean, maybe ready with a broken heart and a
contrite spirit or a breaking heart, maybe not
completely broken yet, but broken enough to allow
him in. It doesn't require even a semblance of
perfection. You know, Christ's atonement covers
sin. It covers it. And I need to know that. But
receiving joy, so we talk about what receiving
Christ doesn't require, doesn't require readiness
or perfection. What about joy? You know, all
we need to do to receive joy is give it permission.
Absolutely. Just accept it. You know, the moment
I saw those missing kids from when we were trying
to take pictures, I went to panic and I'm like,
oh no, we're not going to get the picture. And
then it ended up being so picture perfect because
of the mess. Because of the mess. And that picture
is indelibly etched in the hearts of those present,
for sure. All of us. Absolutely. It was so tender,
so sweet. Much more valuable. So calm. Yeah.
It was so sweet. And it also looks like just
being present. Receiving joy looks like giving
it permission to receive it and then just being
present just showing up And being there so that
Heavenly Father through his son and Through the
Holy Ghost can bless us with that gift The gift
was given to us Heavenly Father was excited to
give me that gift that we talked about last week
And if you haven't listened again last week,
please go back and listen to that the gift of
this of my of his son But but the that gift was
given That gift was given to us knowing full
well of what my reality would be on any given
Christmas, Doug. He knew. And he knew my reality
would be in need of that gift. I think it's important
because you've used some words that I think are
so relevant. The word is receiving, present,
giving. And that's what I think we have maybe
polluted. Christmas season. Because what are
we giving? What are we receiving? What are we
present for? Or are we asking for His presence?
I think it's really important for me to push
pause and go, how am I defining this? How am
I receiving? How am I giving? How am I being
present? I love the verbiage because that is
all Christmas verbiage. So receiving joy, receiving
Christ, and the gift was, for God so loved the
world that He gave His only begotten Son. So
I think going back to your Christmas isn't fragile.
Let it be strong. Let Christmas be strong. Yeah.
Stop protecting, stop managing, stop putting
our expectations on Christmas. But just notice
that Christ is always there. When you put the
glasses on to be able to see that, you'll see
it in the mess. And that's where I see it probably
the very most is when things start getting messy
or things get a little chaotic. That's when I
really kind of have to step back, take a big
deep breath in and go, okay, there's something
I get to learn here because there's no growing
in the comfort zone, no comfort in the growing
zone. What do I get to learn? What's the gift?
If I'm truly present, what is the gift? I will
never see that gift if I'm trying to manage outcomes.
For sure. And that's where I sometimes get caught
up. I want to set the table. I want to be the
director of the play. I have this. for whatever
reason this desire to just control and I don't
know if I learned it or if it's if I brought
it with me I don't know but sometimes that's
the thing that gets in my way I think we all
have that it hasn't it hasn't gotten away this
year yeah much You know, I'm a little disappointed.
I couldn't find my lights to put out on my house,
but that's pretty, pretty benign. But the thing
about it is, is I have to understand that I have
to stay out of the outcome business. Instead,
I really just need to know where Christ, notice
where He already is, because He's already in
so much of our lives. And that's where the gift
is if we're looking for gifts outside of the
gifts that we've already been given and Outside
of the gifts and the most important gifts that
we're going to receive or can receive We're setting
ourselves up for grave disappointment Well, and
I think it's also such a wonderful time of the
year that people feel so generous and want to
help others that maybe don't feel as Ready for
Christmas. I mean you always hear about the angel
tree and hear about you know people that may
not have a Christmas and children and there are
people so Passionate about making sure that every
single child has something to open on Christmas
morning that it's like they they It's their,
it's their goal. You know, we have my, my daughter
in law, Sam, her mom is such a generous woman
that just gives tons of bicycles to, you know,
donates tons of toys and bikes and so that kids
can have a Christmas and people don't have to
do that. And when you've ever been, which I have
been on that receiving end and also been on the
giving end. You realize it's just God's work.
This is how He intended it to be. Because when
we breathe in, we receive. When we exhale, we
give. And without one or the other, we don't
live. as this season comes, I mean as we focus
on Christmas, just think about am I inhaling
right now or am I exhaling right now? Because
giving and receiving would not exist one without
another and I think it's so important to remember
that even our own breath came from our Savior
Jesus Christ and His Atonement. Well as we kind
of come to the Christmas season. I remember right
in the heart of it just a few days away and here
we are. I just hope that we can remember a few
things. Number one is that Jesus entered the
chaos willingly. So let's not get freaked out
and worried about the chaos. Let's not set our
expectations so high that Christmas becomes fragile.
Christmas shouldn't be fragile. Christmas is
a durable, an opportunity for us to have durable
joy. Joy through the gift of our Heavenly Father
Son. Also, just a reminder that Christmas cannot
be broken. We can't ruin it. We're not going
to undo it. It's going to be there every single
year for every opportunity. And the older I get,
the more I realize that things just don't matter,
that relationships are what matter. And what
a gift to be able to see that today because I
have seen so many little miracles and are just
among us. Our final invitation is to receive
Him as He comes and find Him in the mess. Find
Him in the joy. Find Him in the chaos. Find Him
in the fear. Find Him. He's there. He is very,
very present this time of year. And as you said,
receive Him. Remember, you know, let's go back
to Doctrine and Covenants 8833. We must... Received
this gift this gift just doesn't open itself
and present itself to us. It's there for us But
we must open it and how do we open it? We open
it by aligning with the will of our Heavenly
Father and how is it administered to us? Through
the Spirit of the Holy Ghost so each each week
again as we Kind of wrap things up here today
We really receive the gift as we partake of the
sacrament each week and renew covenants and make
yet another new covenant to always remember Him
and keep His commandments so that as we do, we
can have the promise that we will always have
His Spirit to be with us. And that's really the
gift, Deb. That's really the gift, the gift of
the Holy Ghost administering to us the gift of
the Son of God. For God so loved the world that
He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever
believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting
life. We love you. We're so grateful for you,
and we wish you all a very very Merry Christmas