WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.000 Hey everybody, you know what, yesterday in church 00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:06.540 I had this kind of weird realization that I really 00:00:06.540 --> 00:00:08.839 didn't expect to be getting, especially maybe 00:00:08.839 --> 00:00:12.679 at church. I've been giving everybody else my 00:00:12.679 --> 00:00:15.580 attention except the one who can... actually 00:00:15.580 --> 00:00:18.539 heal me, Deb. You know, someone once told me 00:00:18.539 --> 00:00:21.780 that the cross, you know, and that's what happened 00:00:21.780 --> 00:00:24.559 to me is during the sacrament, I'm thinking of 00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:27.100 the events of the atonement of Jesus Christ and 00:00:27.100 --> 00:00:30.399 for whatever reason, often my focus will go to 00:00:30.399 --> 00:00:33.740 the cross because that's, you know, where we 00:00:33.740 --> 00:00:36.939 hear people like Elder Holland and others have 00:00:36.939 --> 00:00:44.000 said that on the cross, Jesus suffered even intensified, 00:00:44.100 --> 00:00:47.640 right? For whatever reason. But when I was thinking 00:00:47.640 --> 00:00:50.380 about that, I thought back to, was it last year 00:00:50.380 --> 00:00:53.740 or the year before, but around Easter time, in 00:00:53.740 --> 00:00:55.880 Come Follow Me, I was listening to a podcast. 00:00:56.479 --> 00:00:59.140 And somebody was talking about the cross. And 00:00:59.140 --> 00:01:01.840 again, I have an affinity to that part of the 00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:04.079 events of the atonement I even wear a cross. 00:01:04.759 --> 00:01:07.060 And as I was thinking about this, I was thinking 00:01:07.060 --> 00:01:09.519 about what this guy said in the podcast. In the 00:01:09.519 --> 00:01:12.340 podcast, he said something along the lines of 00:01:12.340 --> 00:01:15.340 this. You know, there's two parts to a cross. 00:01:15.540 --> 00:01:18.540 There's a pole, which is vertical, and there's 00:01:18.540 --> 00:01:21.840 a beam, which is horizontal. And that pole and 00:01:21.840 --> 00:01:25.040 beam can be representative of my relationships 00:01:25.040 --> 00:01:30.680 and how I'm doing. And so what I realized Yeah, 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:34.079 yeah, yeah, so what I realized in church yesterday 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:38.340 when I was partaking of the sacrament My life's 00:01:38.340 --> 00:01:41.219 been a little bit too horizontal I've been a 00:01:41.219 --> 00:01:43.760 little too focused on things around me. I've 00:01:43.760 --> 00:01:46.180 been a little too much in the outcome business. 00:01:46.340 --> 00:01:49.920 I've been a little too involved in the performance, 00:01:49.959 --> 00:01:54.459 and I even catch myself in checkbox mentality. 00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:59.359 Yeah, but I've really done that, you know, over 00:01:59.359 --> 00:02:02.180 the last little while. So, you know, this time 00:02:02.180 --> 00:02:03.879 of year, it kind of brings a lot of emotion. 00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:07.379 Every emotion imaginable, joy for some, heartbreak 00:02:07.379 --> 00:02:11.830 for others, pressure. expectations, family dynamics, 00:02:12.250 --> 00:02:15.770 memories. But the way to access Christ's Atonement 00:02:15.770 --> 00:02:18.530 isn't by tightening our grip, it's by turning 00:02:18.530 --> 00:02:22.009 towards Him, right? I'm so worried about tightening 00:02:22.009 --> 00:02:25.430 my grip as I look horizontally that I forget 00:02:25.430 --> 00:02:28.509 just to turn towards Him and deepen my relationship 00:02:28.509 --> 00:02:31.370 or even re -engage in my relationship with Him. 00:02:31.870 --> 00:02:35.689 So, today. As we open season five, here we are, 00:02:35.729 --> 00:02:38.189 season five, episode one. We just want to talk 00:02:38.189 --> 00:02:41.449 about strengthening the vertical, not through 00:02:41.449 --> 00:02:44.789 performance, not through performance. And when 00:02:44.789 --> 00:02:46.449 I say vertical, you know what I mean by that, 00:02:46.569 --> 00:02:50.409 right? We want to strengthen our relationship 00:02:50.409 --> 00:02:53.770 with deity. Take maybe a little less focus off 00:02:53.770 --> 00:02:56.469 of what's going on around us and just put all 00:02:56.469 --> 00:03:00.900 of our focus on Him. Elder President Nelson, 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:03.280 you remember he, in one of his talks, he said, 00:03:03.300 --> 00:03:08.780 Jesus Christ is the answer to everything. Everything, 00:03:09.020 --> 00:03:12.620 there's that word again. So again, as we open 00:03:12.620 --> 00:03:14.860 up season five, we just wanna talk about strengthening 00:03:14.860 --> 00:03:17.340 the vertical, not through performance, but through 00:03:17.340 --> 00:03:19.879 relationship, because that's where the healing 00:03:19.879 --> 00:03:22.979 flows, Deb. Yeah, and I think as we just finish 00:03:22.979 --> 00:03:26.479 up. Thanksgiving and move into Christmas this 00:03:26.479 --> 00:03:31.620 is a perfect segue for all of us to reflect on 00:03:31.620 --> 00:03:35.139 because it's man it's making me think. you know, 00:03:35.159 --> 00:03:37.259 we're just finishing up a Black Friday and there's 00:03:37.259 --> 00:03:39.180 a lot of noise and a lot of cells and a lot of 00:03:39.180 --> 00:03:40.659 things are missing out if you don't hurry because 00:03:40.659 --> 00:03:43.860 their clock is ticking. That's a very horizontal 00:03:43.860 --> 00:03:47.800 move for me and you know, there's just so much 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:51.379 going on and I, you know, we had, we have our 00:03:51.379 --> 00:03:55.659 Thanksgiving, the Sunday after Thanksgiving for 00:03:55.659 --> 00:04:00.340 mine, our family. And so all of our kids and 00:04:00.340 --> 00:04:04.599 grandkids come that can. and we happened to celebrate 00:04:04.599 --> 00:04:09.300 that yesterday and you know those relationships 00:04:09.300 --> 00:04:12.759 are so precious to me. I just thought you could 00:04:12.759 --> 00:04:15.139 you know we squish in this house and we put up 00:04:15.139 --> 00:04:17.040 tables and move out couches so that we can get 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:20.720 everybody a seat at the table and after we you 00:04:20.720 --> 00:04:24.180 know and we had our parents here and after we 00:04:24.180 --> 00:04:29.560 ate and reflecting on the pure gratitude you 00:04:29.560 --> 00:04:33.180 know it's just that's where that's where That's 00:04:33.180 --> 00:04:38.139 where I feel is that where I'm so abundant. That's 00:04:38.139 --> 00:04:42.300 where I feel So abundant and it's it is that 00:04:42.300 --> 00:04:45.699 relationship and I would not have these Relationships 00:04:45.699 --> 00:04:49.079 with my family with you with our kids with our 00:04:49.079 --> 00:04:53.160 grandkids Had it not been for my relationship 00:04:53.160 --> 00:04:56.040 with Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ. 00:04:56.040 --> 00:05:00.730 I'm so grateful. I know that today it's especially 00:05:00.730 --> 00:05:04.970 again during the holidays it gets it gets super 00:05:04.970 --> 00:05:10.500 loud and distracting and you know it's It's part 00:05:10.500 --> 00:05:13.079 of the holiday. My sister calls it the Christmas 00:05:13.079 --> 00:05:15.480 crazies. Christmas crazies, yeah. Well, you know, 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:18.060 we can kind of call it the tug of the horizontal 00:05:18.060 --> 00:05:20.480 life, right, I guess, if you want to as well, 00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:22.920 especially around Christmas. And you just mentioned 00:05:22.920 --> 00:05:26.699 some things, you know, family and, you know, 00:05:27.060 --> 00:05:29.579 those kinds of things. And sometimes that can 00:05:29.579 --> 00:05:31.990 get a little muddy for me. You know, is that 00:05:31.990 --> 00:05:34.089 is that horizontal or is that vertical? And I 00:05:34.089 --> 00:05:36.269 know because of my covenant relationship, it's 00:05:36.269 --> 00:05:40.250 obviously vertical. But if I focus too much on 00:05:40.250 --> 00:05:44.009 even that and sometimes that can really be a 00:05:44.009 --> 00:05:46.269 distraction for me if I'm trying to fix this 00:05:46.269 --> 00:05:48.790 kid or help that kid or, you know, and I think 00:05:48.790 --> 00:05:51.350 decision for that kid. Oh, that doesn't happen 00:05:51.350 --> 00:05:54.589 very often. But I wish it did. But it doesn't 00:05:54.589 --> 00:05:56.889 happen very often. But the wish is there. You 00:05:56.889 --> 00:06:00.029 know what? Exactly. And I think that that's part. 00:06:00.110 --> 00:06:04.029 of my horizontal life, expectations, pressures, 00:06:04.449 --> 00:06:08.290 just all kinds of the noise of work and busyness, 00:06:09.689 --> 00:06:14.649 stuff like that. As I'm thinking back over the 00:06:14.649 --> 00:06:19.370 last couple of weeks, I have a couple of relationships 00:06:19.370 --> 00:06:24.500 in recovery. And there's a couple of people that 00:06:24.500 --> 00:06:27.060 I'm working with who have a little less time 00:06:27.060 --> 00:06:31.000 and maybe a little more fragile. I hate to say 00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:33.040 it that way, but maybe a little more fragile 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:36.379 in terms of their sobriety and so forth. And 00:06:36.379 --> 00:06:39.699 there's been a lot of worry on my part. You know, 00:06:39.699 --> 00:06:42.240 I've gone vertical. I mean, I've gone horizontal. 00:06:42.339 --> 00:06:44.540 I've tried to fix it. I've tried to give solution. 00:06:44.600 --> 00:06:47.459 I've tried to be in their solution. And that's 00:06:47.459 --> 00:06:49.800 not my business. My business is to direct them 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:53.139 into a relationship that's also vertical into 00:06:53.139 --> 00:06:55.360 a relationship with their higher power, into 00:06:55.360 --> 00:06:58.399 a relationship with deity as the same that we're 00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:01.779 talking about here. And I think that sometimes 00:07:01.779 --> 00:07:04.339 we can really trick ourselves as we're, when 00:07:04.339 --> 00:07:07.720 I say that, when I say we can really trick ourselves, 00:07:07.800 --> 00:07:10.560 what I mean by that is I can really trick myself, 00:07:10.839 --> 00:07:13.740 I don't know about the rest of the world, but 00:07:13.740 --> 00:07:16.420 I can really trick myself into believing that 00:07:16.420 --> 00:07:19.120 I'm doing good and I'm all aligned with Jesus 00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:21.730 and all this other stuff. helping other people 00:07:21.730 --> 00:07:25.350 get their stuff together. And it's not always 00:07:25.350 --> 00:07:30.569 the case. And it's left me a little bit untethered, 00:07:30.769 --> 00:07:34.370 Deb, which is unsettling. I'm better today. But 00:07:34.370 --> 00:07:36.490 you know, as I sat there and was partaking of 00:07:36.490 --> 00:07:38.110 the sacrament, I'm so grateful for the sacrament. 00:07:38.370 --> 00:07:41.670 I'm so grateful to have that opportunity of renewal. 00:07:42.050 --> 00:07:45.029 And I engaged in renewal this Sunday as I thought 00:07:45.029 --> 00:07:48.949 this through. Yeah, I love that too. It is a 00:07:48.949 --> 00:07:53.069 sacred time for me too. We sit on the second 00:07:53.069 --> 00:07:57.329 row in our chapel and it's a good thing that 00:07:57.329 --> 00:08:01.529 not very many people see us because we 98 % of 00:08:01.529 --> 00:08:04.550 the time weep during those sacramental hymns 00:08:04.550 --> 00:08:08.329 because they're so dear to us and because we've 00:08:08.329 --> 00:08:10.930 studied the atonement for so many years, it's 00:08:10.930 --> 00:08:17.129 just such a tender little mercy for us. I don't 00:08:17.129 --> 00:08:20.089 take that for granted. I mean, there's been times 00:08:20.089 --> 00:08:23.589 in my life that I was not worthy to partake of 00:08:23.589 --> 00:08:26.110 that sacred emblem and I don't take that for 00:08:26.110 --> 00:08:29.670 granted today. I'm grateful when I hear, you 00:08:29.670 --> 00:08:33.529 know, I often say that the chapel is an ordinance 00:08:33.529 --> 00:08:38.070 room where we renew those sacred ordinances, 00:08:38.230 --> 00:08:41.750 even our primary kids renewing their baptismal 00:08:41.750 --> 00:08:44.750 covenants, such a sacred, sacred opportunity 00:08:44.750 --> 00:08:48.470 that I, for one, have in the past taken for granted. 00:08:48.990 --> 00:08:51.909 And my wish and desire now is that I don't, that 00:08:51.909 --> 00:08:57.529 I intentionally show up, prepare, even 24 hours 00:08:57.529 --> 00:09:01.149 before, and prepare to partake of those sacred 00:09:01.149 --> 00:09:04.940 emblems because it is so dear to me, to have 00:09:04.940 --> 00:09:10.179 the words in the song bruised, broken, torn. 00:09:10.679 --> 00:09:15.159 I mean, the things that he went through for every 00:09:15.159 --> 00:09:19.610 one of us that walk this planet. And he would 00:09:19.610 --> 00:09:22.049 have done it if it were just me. And I am grateful 00:09:22.049 --> 00:09:23.830 I know that today, too, because I haven't always 00:09:23.830 --> 00:09:26.870 believed that. And he did it for us, whether 00:09:26.870 --> 00:09:30.990 or not we align with it, too. Well, you know, 00:09:31.070 --> 00:09:33.850 so as I'm sitting there and as I'm having this 00:09:33.850 --> 00:09:36.070 experience and as you mentioned, every time, 00:09:36.590 --> 00:09:39.970 I begin to worship on Sunday morning when I get 00:09:39.970 --> 00:09:43.789 up. Right. I mean, you turn on the music in the 00:09:43.789 --> 00:09:47.909 house. I really do. I set that intention and 00:09:47.909 --> 00:09:50.409 I try to be prayerful the moment I get up. And 00:09:50.409 --> 00:09:54.250 I just really try to. That's my day that just 00:09:54.250 --> 00:09:58.129 focusing on him is so important. And I'm glad 00:09:58.129 --> 00:10:01.129 that I've made that an important part of my life, 00:10:01.129 --> 00:10:03.409 because had I have not done that, maybe I'd still 00:10:03.409 --> 00:10:07.250 be in this lost and horizontal state. Right. 00:10:07.429 --> 00:10:09.610 Where I'm so worried. We're in a very horizontal. 00:10:09.669 --> 00:10:12.769 Well, and that seems to be where the focus is 00:10:12.769 --> 00:10:15.250 all the time. It's just horizontally, it's very 00:10:15.250 --> 00:10:17.909 difficult sometimes. But anyways, as we're sitting 00:10:17.909 --> 00:10:20.830 there and we're in that worship hymn, I don't 00:10:20.830 --> 00:10:23.009 even remember the hymn that we sang this past 00:10:23.009 --> 00:10:24.809 week, you probably don't either, but it doesn't 00:10:24.809 --> 00:10:27.529 matter because every time we do that, it's a 00:10:27.529 --> 00:10:32.169 remembering for me of somebody who I've come 00:10:32.169 --> 00:10:34.610 to know dearly and deeply, and that's my Savior 00:10:34.610 --> 00:10:39.110 Jesus Christ. And then as I contemplate the thing, 00:10:38.889 --> 00:10:43.470 that he did for me to offset the fallen Scott 00:10:43.470 --> 00:10:46.730 and I've been fallen again lately we all are 00:10:46.730 --> 00:10:48.830 I'm not apologizing I'm not embarrassed it's 00:10:48.830 --> 00:10:51.029 just part of the human experience and I understand 00:10:51.029 --> 00:10:53.730 that but as I'm sitting there and as I'm having 00:10:53.730 --> 00:10:58.370 this opportunity it occurs to me that you know 00:10:58.370 --> 00:11:00.549 I there's a couple of scriptures that actually 00:11:00.549 --> 00:11:03.190 occurred to me and I just turned to him while 00:11:03.190 --> 00:11:04.769 I was sitting there and here's one of them this 00:11:04.769 --> 00:11:08.259 is in John chapter 15 So as I'm sitting there 00:11:08.259 --> 00:11:10.240 partaking of the sacrament and I'm having this 00:11:10.240 --> 00:11:13.519 horizontal versus vertical experience or debate 00:11:13.519 --> 00:11:17.139 or sort of battle within me, this scripture comes 00:11:17.139 --> 00:11:20.320 to mind. This is John chapter 15 verse four. 00:11:20.919 --> 00:11:24.460 Abide in me and I in you. As a branch cannot 00:11:24.460 --> 00:11:27.679 bear fruit itself except it abide in me in the 00:11:27.679 --> 00:11:32.480 vine. No more can ye except ye abide in me. Am 00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:35.720 the mine you are the branches he that imbideth 00:11:35.720 --> 00:11:39.860 in me abideth in me and I and him the same bringeth 00:11:39.860 --> 00:11:44.100 forth much fruit and without me you can do nothing 00:11:44.100 --> 00:11:51.779 and without me You can do nothing You know, I'm 00:11:51.779 --> 00:11:54.440 so focused on my own performance I'm so focused 00:11:54.440 --> 00:11:57.970 and I'm not really but I lose focus of the the 00:11:57.970 --> 00:12:02.649 horizontal, the vertical, and my focus just defaults 00:12:02.649 --> 00:12:05.590 because of the fall. My focus just defaults to 00:12:05.590 --> 00:12:07.889 things that are horizontal, those relationships 00:12:07.889 --> 00:12:14.990 there. You know, there was an activity that I 00:12:14.990 --> 00:12:18.970 do when I'm doing rapid eye therapy or having 00:12:18.970 --> 00:12:23.230 it done or performing it for other clients, and 00:12:23.230 --> 00:12:28.820 it's patterns, things that we do. things that 00:12:28.820 --> 00:12:30.899 we want our lives to be different. We keep doing 00:12:30.899 --> 00:12:32.940 the same thing over and over and expecting different 00:12:32.940 --> 00:12:35.779 results. And this is what they use as a pattern 00:12:35.779 --> 00:12:39.600 interrupt. And they talk about, and I love this 00:12:39.600 --> 00:12:41.960 because it's a good reminder for this very thing, 00:12:42.519 --> 00:12:45.100 that if I could just have this certain thing, 00:12:45.480 --> 00:12:47.620 then I could do this better and then I could 00:12:47.620 --> 00:12:50.700 be the person I want to be and be connected to 00:12:50.700 --> 00:12:53.320 Heavenly Father and my relationship with Jesus 00:12:53.320 --> 00:12:57.909 would be a lot stronger. Have, do, be. Yes. And 00:12:57.909 --> 00:13:01.830 in this process, I literally have people stand 00:13:01.830 --> 00:13:06.210 on, what is the story that we're telling ourselves? 00:13:06.710 --> 00:13:09.610 What do we need to have? And how does that make 00:13:09.610 --> 00:13:13.409 us feel? And what do we do about that? And then 00:13:13.409 --> 00:13:19.210 how does that become your being? Well, what we 00:13:19.210 --> 00:13:22.470 forget, and especially those of us that have 00:13:22.470 --> 00:13:26.080 been around infants. that when an infant comes 00:13:26.080 --> 00:13:32.500 onto this planet, that is just a perfect being. 00:13:33.600 --> 00:13:38.500 That being does nothing. They cry, they eat, 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:42.200 and they pee and poop. That's about it and sleep 00:13:42.200 --> 00:13:46.720 a lot. But they bring such a presence of heaven 00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:50.460 with them. that if any of you have ever held 00:13:50.460 --> 00:13:53.259 a brand new baby, you know what that piece feels 00:13:53.259 --> 00:13:55.860 like. And you know that they're just straight 00:13:55.860 --> 00:14:00.100 from an angelic little place, big place, not 00:14:00.100 --> 00:14:03.940 little. And, you know, I think we forget as we 00:14:03.940 --> 00:14:07.919 get a little bit older who we really are as beings, 00:14:08.820 --> 00:14:12.840 which is that, you know, vertical connection. 00:14:13.019 --> 00:14:17.019 then we start becoming human doings and we start 00:14:17.019 --> 00:14:19.759 doing things that be that flip is horizontal 00:14:19.759 --> 00:14:24.460 and in this pattern interrupt we step out of 00:14:24.460 --> 00:14:27.899 that circle step out of that cycle and start 00:14:27.899 --> 00:14:35.159 with the B who are we who am I who whose am I 00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:39.769 yeah why am I here and when I can touch and when 00:14:39.769 --> 00:14:45.870 I can connect to who and whose I am then the 00:14:45.870 --> 00:14:50.690 doings and the haves all orchestrate in God's 00:14:50.690 --> 00:14:55.049 great work then I get out of the way and I think 00:14:55.049 --> 00:14:59.110 that's that's such a powerful tool for me to 00:14:59.110 --> 00:15:03.509 start in the being just remember who and whose 00:15:03.509 --> 00:15:07.860 I am Remember that connection, just like you 00:15:07.860 --> 00:15:11.620 said, that vertical connection. Yeah, I agree 00:15:11.620 --> 00:15:16.700 with all of that. And it really requires me to 00:15:16.700 --> 00:15:20.659 understand. who and whose I am in order for that 00:15:20.659 --> 00:15:24.220 relationship or that relational activity to even 00:15:24.220 --> 00:15:27.700 have any sway in my life, right? Because for 00:15:27.700 --> 00:15:30.980 example, you know, if I am just focused on the 00:15:30.980 --> 00:15:33.179 vertical, I mean, excuse, I keep getting them 00:15:33.179 --> 00:15:36.500 mixed up, but if I'm just focused on what's the 00:15:36.500 --> 00:15:38.759 side of me, side to side, just around me, if 00:15:38.759 --> 00:15:41.379 I'm just focused on that, you know, some people 00:15:41.379 --> 00:15:43.860 can say, well, I'm just being, I'm just being 00:15:43.860 --> 00:15:46.639 in it. And that's not what you're talking about. 00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:51.059 talking about is being who in, who and in whose 00:15:51.059 --> 00:15:55.240 we are. Because once we understand and have that 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:59.120 remembering of who and whose we are, then it's 00:15:59.120 --> 00:16:03.200 much easier for us to get into that. posture 00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:05.960 of being better connected to Him. You know, step 00:16:05.960 --> 00:16:08.240 two in Alcoholics Anonymous, came to believe 00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:10.259 that a power greater than ourselves could restore 00:16:10.259 --> 00:16:13.320 us to sanity, which relates then to step 11, 00:16:13.779 --> 00:16:15.679 sought through prayer and meditation to improve 00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:19.759 our conscious contact with God. And so, you know, 00:16:19.860 --> 00:16:22.840 that's kind of it. I mentioned the one scripture. 00:16:22.899 --> 00:16:25.840 There was another scripture that I kind of had 00:16:25.840 --> 00:16:28.379 that experience with, and it's one that you and 00:16:28.379 --> 00:16:32.690 I talk about a lot. This is in Doctrine and Covenants 00:16:32.690 --> 00:16:35.850 chapter, not chapter, they are sections in the 00:16:35.850 --> 00:16:38.450 Doctrine and Covenants still. They haven't changed 00:16:38.450 --> 00:16:40.289 that yet, sweetheart. So don't you try to change 00:16:40.289 --> 00:16:44.690 it. I don't think I will. But this is the scripture, 00:16:44.809 --> 00:16:46.690 Doctrine and Covenants, section six, and I'm 00:16:46.690 --> 00:16:50.149 gonna just read the verses 36 and 37, and I'll 00:16:50.149 --> 00:16:53.490 tell you why. 36, look unto me in every thought, 00:16:53.690 --> 00:16:56.759 doubt not, fear not. Now that's the answer. That's 00:16:56.759 --> 00:16:58.840 the answer to, you know, when I think of my fallen 00:16:58.840 --> 00:17:02.559 world, doubt and fear, the two main culprits 00:17:02.559 --> 00:17:06.539 of potentially all of my problems, doubt and 00:17:06.539 --> 00:17:09.319 fear. You know, I doubt who I am. I doubt whose 00:17:09.319 --> 00:17:12.359 I am. I'm afraid of, you know, the alternatives, 00:17:12.380 --> 00:17:15.819 et cetera. And then here's 37, and this is the 00:17:15.819 --> 00:17:19.039 key. This is the key and this is where for me 00:17:19.039 --> 00:17:22.700 on this past Sunday the atonement of Jesus Christ 00:17:22.700 --> 00:17:25.839 became more available to me than it had been 00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:29.440 in the days and hours leading up to it because 00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:33.039 I did this Behold the wounds which pierced my 00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:36.079 side and also the prints of the nails in my hands 00:17:36.079 --> 00:17:39.940 and feet Be faithful keep my commandments and 00:17:39.940 --> 00:17:43.140 you shall inherit the kingdom of heaven Now I 00:17:43.140 --> 00:17:45.740 know what that means that to inherit the kingdom 00:17:45.740 --> 00:17:48.859 of heaven I know that that means one final judgment 00:17:48.859 --> 00:17:51.000 comes But I'd like to inherit the kingdom of 00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:55.240 heaven a little bit at a time And I think I do 00:17:55.240 --> 00:17:58.839 I think I inherit the kingdom of heaven a little 00:17:58.839 --> 00:18:03.819 tiny bit at a time When I look unto him and I 00:18:03.819 --> 00:18:05.640 try to do it in every thought and I can't do 00:18:05.640 --> 00:18:07.779 it in every thought but I can do it every day 00:18:07.779 --> 00:18:10.839 Yeah, and and I can do it multiple times a day 00:18:10.839 --> 00:18:14.990 and I do and I have for a very long time, and 00:18:14.990 --> 00:18:18.089 it has made all the difference for me even when 00:18:18.089 --> 00:18:20.309 I get a little out of whack and get a little 00:18:20.309 --> 00:18:23.349 too horizontal, it helps me get back to being 00:18:23.349 --> 00:18:26.589 vertical pretty quick. I love that. It reminds 00:18:26.589 --> 00:18:30.630 me of President Nielsen's talk on having confidence 00:18:30.630 --> 00:18:35.750 in the presence of the Lord with charity and 00:18:35.750 --> 00:18:41.329 virtue. I think about that often. Having charity 00:18:41.329 --> 00:18:43.549 and virtue. Yeah, and you know, I'm going back 00:18:43.549 --> 00:18:46.750 to the sacrament again, but as as we reflect 00:18:46.750 --> 00:18:51.009 on What that emblem, you know that little piece 00:18:51.009 --> 00:18:53.930 of bread because it's blessed and sanctified 00:18:53.930 --> 00:18:57.390 to every soul that partakes of it and If we think 00:18:57.390 --> 00:19:01.690 about we're ingesting internally ingesting the 00:19:01.690 --> 00:19:04.930 body of the Savior of Jesus I mean the Savior 00:19:04.930 --> 00:19:08.109 Jesus Christ the representation that representation 00:19:08.109 --> 00:19:13.109 to to internal, like, you think about all the 00:19:13.109 --> 00:19:16.609 senses, I mean, well, let's just do physical, 00:19:16.910 --> 00:19:19.369 mental, emotionally and spiritually, you know, 00:19:19.369 --> 00:19:22.950 to be able to have that tangible experience to 00:19:22.950 --> 00:19:27.170 ingest and then drink of the little cup of water 00:19:27.170 --> 00:19:32.809 that represents the blood that was paid, purchased, 00:19:33.549 --> 00:19:37.289 that purchased me. I just, you know, I always 00:19:37.289 --> 00:19:40.359 go back to the sacrament because it's so impactful 00:19:40.359 --> 00:19:43.039 to me. I think that that's where the turning 00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:46.299 begins, right? And again, Deb, that's one of 00:19:46.299 --> 00:19:48.640 the reasons why the sacrament is so sacred. I 00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:50.940 think to both of us is before that very reason. 00:19:51.460 --> 00:19:55.640 So, you know, what what is what is turning vertical 00:19:55.640 --> 00:20:00.140 look like, Deb? You know, how do we stay focused? 00:20:00.220 --> 00:20:01.819 I mean, we talked about taking the perspective. 00:20:01.960 --> 00:20:04.339 the sacrament, but there you talked about having 00:20:04.339 --> 00:20:09.660 charity and virtue, you know, definitely, definitely 00:20:09.660 --> 00:20:12.839 a relationship type of activity, right? You know, 00:20:12.839 --> 00:20:14.900 and that's the important part, you know, in order 00:20:14.900 --> 00:20:17.740 for us to go to have this vertical or this up 00:20:17.740 --> 00:20:20.579 and down relationship between us and deity. It's 00:20:20.579 --> 00:20:23.640 really about a relationship. It's really about 00:20:23.640 --> 00:20:26.220 its relational, not transactional. We've heard 00:20:26.220 --> 00:20:30.180 all of the almost all of the general all of the 00:20:30.180 --> 00:20:32.480 apostles and prophets. talk about that in recent 00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:36.700 years, it's relational. So how do we engage in 00:20:36.700 --> 00:20:40.200 this? How do you do it? First and foremost, I 00:20:40.200 --> 00:20:42.059 think it's important to remember because this 00:20:42.059 --> 00:20:45.099 is one thing I did forget. In my mess and when 00:20:45.099 --> 00:20:49.420 I felt so unworthy, I did not feel worthy enough 00:20:49.420 --> 00:20:52.819 to talk to him or to even praise. He doesn't 00:20:52.819 --> 00:20:54.700 want to hear from me because I've been so rotten. 00:20:55.309 --> 00:20:58.109 Um, and I think, I think more than anything, 00:20:58.109 --> 00:21:00.809 you know, a few weeks ago, Nick, Nick mentioned 00:21:00.809 --> 00:21:04.329 Jesus likes to get his hands dirty and, and, 00:21:04.329 --> 00:21:07.789 and messy and he meets us in our mess. And I 00:21:07.789 --> 00:21:13.730 think as we sincerely just get gut level honest, 00:21:14.329 --> 00:21:17.109 just say, how many father, this is really hard 00:21:17.109 --> 00:21:20.549 for me. And this sucks. You can edit that word 00:21:20.549 --> 00:21:22.609 if you want, but it does. I mean, there's just 00:21:22.609 --> 00:21:26.339 days that it is. There are days that life is 00:21:26.339 --> 00:21:30.160 just hard and messy and it's like, I don't care 00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:32.380 about vertical right now. I'm in survival mode 00:21:32.380 --> 00:21:36.279 and this is hard. This is really hard financially. 00:21:36.759 --> 00:21:41.299 I cannot fend for my family. I cannot put food 00:21:41.299 --> 00:21:45.299 on my table on the table for my kids. It sucks 00:21:45.299 --> 00:21:47.339 when you're going through health issues and you 00:21:47.339 --> 00:21:50.119 cannot have, you don't have the strength to even 00:21:50.119 --> 00:21:53.880 get out of your bed. And you just say, this is 00:21:53.880 --> 00:21:56.960 so hard. And I think it gets to that point where 00:21:56.960 --> 00:22:00.259 you just have to be in that big dark hole like 00:22:00.259 --> 00:22:03.559 I was once. And I just said, God, this problem 00:22:03.559 --> 00:22:06.779 is bigger than me. Help me, lift me, because 00:22:06.779 --> 00:22:08.779 you're the only one with the answer to get me 00:22:08.779 --> 00:22:11.380 out of this mess. And I think it's that crying 00:22:11.380 --> 00:22:14.579 out. It really is. It is that crying out and 00:22:14.579 --> 00:22:17.980 just getting on is because he knows of every 00:22:17.980 --> 00:22:21.779 single human that walks this planet. He knows 00:22:21.779 --> 00:22:26.640 how we feel. He knows exactly how we feel and 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:30.690 even more so. Yeah, and and what you just described 00:22:30.690 --> 00:22:33.329 is really difficult because that that requires 00:22:33.329 --> 00:22:37.630 a deep deep level of honesty Yeah, you know it's 00:22:37.630 --> 00:22:40.130 even hard sometimes for me I don't I can't speak 00:22:40.130 --> 00:22:42.250 for the rest of the world But for me it's even 00:22:42.250 --> 00:22:44.970 hard for me sometimes to bring my broken self 00:22:44.970 --> 00:22:48.650 to him because I'm embarrassed by it Or whatever 00:22:48.650 --> 00:22:50.210 and I'm not and I'm not saying that you should 00:22:50.210 --> 00:22:52.230 be embarrassed by any of those things But but 00:22:52.230 --> 00:22:56.089 for whatever reason I'm resistant where where 00:22:56.089 --> 00:22:59.500 it that's the death kind of fall away because 00:22:59.500 --> 00:23:02.519 he already understands, right? And he's already 00:23:02.519 --> 00:23:06.119 there waiting for me. And so I think just being 00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:09.119 honest, not only just honest with him, but honest 00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:13.279 with myself, that I can't, you know, we say it 00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:16.660 in AA all the time, I can't, I know he can, I'm 00:23:16.660 --> 00:23:19.339 just gonna let him. You know one time we were 00:23:19.339 --> 00:23:22.779 at girls camp and I had gotten thrown into a 00:23:22.779 --> 00:23:25.839 situation where I had to do a really fast activity 00:23:25.839 --> 00:23:28.880 with the young women because plans had changed 00:23:28.880 --> 00:23:30.400 and they had to take one girl to the hospital 00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:33.059 and I remember going into the woods and pleading 00:23:33.059 --> 00:23:35.140 and I said Heavenly Father lead me and guide 00:23:35.140 --> 00:23:38.960 me and I remember coming back and I just said 00:23:40.570 --> 00:23:42.569 This is what only father wants us to do right 00:23:42.569 --> 00:23:44.569 now and I gave everybody a piece of paper and 00:23:44.569 --> 00:23:47.049 a pencil And if you guys want to do this at home, 00:23:47.049 --> 00:23:50.170 I encourage you to But I gave him a piece of 00:23:50.170 --> 00:23:51.930 paper and I said I want you to write on that 00:23:51.930 --> 00:23:54.509 piece of paper what you don't want anyone to 00:23:54.509 --> 00:23:58.410 know about you What I don't want you to know 00:23:58.410 --> 00:24:01.289 about me is and you write it out on that piece 00:24:01.289 --> 00:24:04.130 of paper and we were all sitting around a campfire 00:24:04.130 --> 00:24:06.390 and I said now I want you to look into that fire 00:24:06.390 --> 00:24:09.490 and I want you to think about the love of the 00:24:09.490 --> 00:24:11.970 Savior. And I want you to think about His light. 00:24:12.269 --> 00:24:14.250 And I want you to think about His blood that 00:24:14.250 --> 00:24:16.650 dripped for you. And I want you to think about 00:24:16.650 --> 00:24:19.789 the pain and the anguish that He suffered for 00:24:19.789 --> 00:24:23.349 you in Gethsemane. He is the light. And then 00:24:23.349 --> 00:24:29.509 we sang. We sang, I feel my Savior's love, as 00:24:29.509 --> 00:24:32.529 we watched that fire. And I said, now you hold 00:24:32.529 --> 00:24:35.150 on to that piece of paper, crumple it up. You 00:24:35.150 --> 00:24:38.069 don't have to show anyone. And I said, I want 00:24:38.069 --> 00:24:40.950 you to give it to the Savior. I want you to let 00:24:40.950 --> 00:24:45.869 Him have that. Get honest with Him. Open your 00:24:45.869 --> 00:24:49.029 heart to Him. Pray to Heavenly Father and ask 00:24:49.029 --> 00:24:52.269 Him in the name of Jesus Christ that He can remove 00:24:52.269 --> 00:24:58.250 this pain and anguish from you. And I can tell 00:24:58.250 --> 00:25:02.329 you from me doing that and watching these young 00:25:02.329 --> 00:25:05.309 women and leaders do that, that was a very impactful 00:25:06.549 --> 00:25:09.569 Fire that night. Yeah, I bet it was just to feel 00:25:09.569 --> 00:25:13.089 the Savior's love and know that he knows he knows 00:25:13.089 --> 00:25:17.069 how I feel And that's that's really what it is 00:25:17.069 --> 00:25:22.890 Deb. Yeah, it's really just about having a relationship 00:25:22.890 --> 00:25:28.920 with him Every problem I have, every little churning 00:25:28.920 --> 00:25:33.500 inside of me, every worry, every time I notice 00:25:33.500 --> 00:25:36.740 that I'm out of whack or off the beam, so to 00:25:36.740 --> 00:25:40.319 speak, or whatever, if I just turn to him a little 00:25:40.319 --> 00:25:43.140 more, and turning to him a little more doesn't 00:25:43.140 --> 00:25:46.640 mean I'm performing better. Maybe my performance 00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:50.380 does level up, but it only levels up as a result 00:25:50.380 --> 00:25:55.000 of my commitment and love for him. But that's 00:25:55.000 --> 00:26:00.000 it, you know? And so, you know, I think as we 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:03.180 kind of just wrap things up today, our core message, 00:26:03.180 --> 00:26:07.500 I think, from what we really want us to understand 00:26:07.500 --> 00:26:11.319 here today is we don't achieve Him. Jesus is 00:26:11.319 --> 00:26:16.920 not our achievement. We receive Him. We receive 00:26:16.920 --> 00:26:20.779 him and we're going to talk about receiving him 00:26:20.779 --> 00:26:23.819 throughout the entirety of this season five. 00:26:25.059 --> 00:26:28.799 The vertical restores perspective. It's important 00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:32.259 for us to understand that the vertical relationship 00:26:32.259 --> 00:26:36.079 and our vertical relationships with deity are 00:26:36.079 --> 00:26:38.940 so much more important and paramount to anything 00:26:38.940 --> 00:26:41.380 horizontal that we've got going on in our lives. 00:26:42.279 --> 00:26:45.680 For me and for those listening. I just want to 00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:50.940 encourage us all to Push pause in this busy season 00:26:50.940 --> 00:26:58.000 you be still and Be intentional on our relationships 00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:02.119 our Relationships with Heavenly Father, you know 00:27:02.119 --> 00:27:05.480 I I often will get up early and go sit in my 00:27:05.480 --> 00:27:08.680 room to read and have scripture study And there's 00:27:08.680 --> 00:27:12.819 days I miss and I feel it I feel the void. It's 00:27:12.819 --> 00:27:17.339 like I need him with me. And I would just encourage 00:27:17.339 --> 00:27:20.799 all of us, me included, to just be still, push 00:27:20.799 --> 00:27:25.019 pause, and just recognize him, just remember 00:27:25.019 --> 00:27:29.640 him, to doubt not, fear not, just seek him in 00:27:29.640 --> 00:27:32.880 every, you know, another... thing in the sacramental 00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:36.759 prayers that I love is that they may always have 00:27:36.759 --> 00:27:39.359 His Spirit to be with them. That is something 00:27:39.359 --> 00:27:43.140 I yearn for. I want His Spirit to be with me 00:27:43.140 --> 00:27:48.660 always. It's not an easy feat, but I truly, sincerely 00:27:48.660 --> 00:27:52.680 want His Spirit to always be with me. And I pray 00:27:52.680 --> 00:27:56.559 for that, and I do things that are very fallen, 00:27:57.220 --> 00:28:01.099 that discourage, you know, distract me. and discourage 00:28:01.099 --> 00:28:04.880 me sometimes but it's okay I can still I can 00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:08.500 still turn my back on you know whatever it is 00:28:08.500 --> 00:28:11.559 that's distracting me and and come to him and 00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:14.900 I'm grateful I know that today and I hope that 00:28:14.900 --> 00:28:17.539 all of you that are listening can feel that and 00:28:17.539 --> 00:28:22.529 know that as well So much relief in knowing he's 00:28:22.529 --> 00:28:24.910 already reaching out to us right now. Remember 00:28:24.910 --> 00:28:28.569 what Elder Kieran said, he is in pursuit of you. 00:28:28.609 --> 00:28:31.470 Relentless pursuit. Oh, yeah, relentless pursuit 00:28:31.470 --> 00:28:35.970 of you already. Thank you for being with us, 00:28:36.170 --> 00:28:40.029 friends. We love you and we're grateful for you. 00:28:40.329 --> 00:28:43.150 We wouldn't do this if it weren't for you. So 00:28:43.150 --> 00:28:45.829 thank you for keeping us honest and keeping us 00:28:45.829 --> 00:28:50.779 vertical and willing. And we just look forward 00:28:50.779 --> 00:28:53.700 to the very next time we get together again when 00:28:53.700 --> 00:28:56.160 you push play on the next episode. Have a great 00:28:56.160 --> 00:28:57.759 week everybody. We'll see you next time.