WEBVTT 00:00:10.660 --> 00:00:13.679 Hey, hey, everybody. Welcome out to another episode 00:00:13.679 --> 00:00:16.019 of Redeemed Through His Blood. This is Scott 00:00:16.019 --> 00:00:18.559 Durfey joined as always by the fabulous Debra 00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:21.239 Durfey What's up, babe? Hello, friends. It's 00:00:21.239 --> 00:00:24.960 good to be with you, sweetheart. I say that like 00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:27.690 we're not together every day, but we are. I know 00:00:27.690 --> 00:00:29.829 I love that too. I love that too. How's your 00:00:29.829 --> 00:00:33.030 day? How's your weekend? You got something to 00:00:33.030 --> 00:00:36.850 tell us. I know it's, well, we had a special 00:00:36.850 --> 00:00:38.729 announcement in the family that I can't announce 00:00:38.729 --> 00:00:42.810 yet. Oh, you can't? I don't think it's on social 00:00:42.810 --> 00:00:45.130 media, but we're going to be a grandma again. 00:00:45.469 --> 00:00:46.689 I'm going to be a grandma again. You're going 00:00:46.689 --> 00:00:49.350 to be a grandpa. Yeah. But I don't, I don't think 00:00:49.350 --> 00:00:52.350 we can announce who it is. So one of our seven 00:00:52.350 --> 00:00:56.560 children. You don't think so? we got to go see 00:00:56.560 --> 00:00:59.960 a really cool path that Bowen got to create up 00:00:59.960 --> 00:01:04.390 in the mountains for a cabin. And then we got 00:01:04.390 --> 00:01:08.250 the primary program on Sunday, which was so fun. 00:01:08.709 --> 00:01:10.930 Actually, you know, typically the practice is 00:01:10.930 --> 00:01:13.530 a nightmare and the program is epic smooth. It 00:01:13.530 --> 00:01:15.989 was polar opposite. It was like our practice 00:01:15.989 --> 00:01:17.609 was really smooth. And I was like, wow, that 00:01:17.609 --> 00:01:20.010 really went well. And then when the program came, 00:01:20.510 --> 00:01:23.250 those kids became rambunctious and they went 00:01:23.250 --> 00:01:25.870 off script and everything was, would you really 00:01:25.870 --> 00:01:28.349 call it a nightmare? I wouldn't call it a nightmare, 00:01:28.349 --> 00:01:33.670 but it was. Definitely not. It was intense. We 00:01:33.670 --> 00:01:35.870 had some very active children. You got to tell 00:01:35.870 --> 00:01:38.969 the story about the little one. Oh gosh, we have 00:01:38.969 --> 00:01:42.829 a little three year old in our sunbeams that 00:01:42.829 --> 00:01:46.370 had her talk perfect on Saturday and she got 00:01:46.370 --> 00:01:49.109 up there and she said it word for word perfectly. 00:01:49.589 --> 00:01:51.510 And Sunday she got up there and she looked right 00:01:51.510 --> 00:01:52.989 at me because I was sitting right by the pulpit 00:01:52.989 --> 00:01:55.030 and she says, I'm gonna do it by myself. And 00:01:55.030 --> 00:01:57.409 I said, you got this girl. And she got up there 00:01:57.409 --> 00:02:00.790 and she started saying a prayer. About her head. 00:02:00.790 --> 00:02:03.129 About her head. And she thanked her father for 00:02:03.129 --> 00:02:05.590 her talk. And yeah, she just, I was like, okay, 00:02:05.670 --> 00:02:07.129 I guess we're saying a prayer in the middle of 00:02:07.129 --> 00:02:09.889 our primary program. It was fabulous. Yeah. Well, 00:02:09.969 --> 00:02:11.969 those are the things you just don't forget, you 00:02:11.969 --> 00:02:15.439 know. Oh, I do remember. I think that will not 00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:18.280 be forgotten. Was it a video or something that 00:02:18.280 --> 00:02:20.560 your sister and I don't remember who sent it 00:02:20.560 --> 00:02:22.379 to us, but it was silly things that kids say 00:02:22.379 --> 00:02:25.599 in primary. Do you remember that? Oh, I look 00:02:25.599 --> 00:02:28.819 those things up. I think they're so fun. I think 00:02:28.819 --> 00:02:31.280 they're absolutely pure amazing. Yeah, that's 00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:34.719 pretty cool. Yeah, pretty cool. Yeah. So the 00:02:34.719 --> 00:02:38.620 Sabbath was amazing for me. I love primary program 00:02:38.620 --> 00:02:40.560 as well. I haven't always been able to say that. 00:02:40.659 --> 00:02:43.620 No, you haven't, but I've converted you. Well, 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:45.719 or the spirit. One or the other. Or your grandkids. 00:02:46.280 --> 00:02:48.719 Probably that's more probably more in line with 00:02:48.719 --> 00:02:50.580 that. You like kids more now? Yeah, for sure. 00:02:50.580 --> 00:02:52.979 Well, I've always, yeah, since I've had grandkids. 00:02:52.810 --> 00:02:54.990 I like kids more. Yeah, you're right. It's true. 00:02:55.229 --> 00:02:58.469 Yeah. Yeah, but we I think we actually talked 00:02:58.469 --> 00:03:02.409 about going to Little Lucy's primary program 00:03:02.409 --> 00:03:05.610 at the deaf ward. It was so secret. We have a 00:03:05.610 --> 00:03:09.189 little kind of adopted granddaughter. Not officially. 00:03:09.729 --> 00:03:12.389 Not officially, but it's official as far as we're 00:03:12.389 --> 00:03:16.479 concerned. She's deaf, and we got to go to her. 00:03:16.599 --> 00:03:18.539 She's also three, right? Or is she four now? 00:03:18.740 --> 00:03:20.180 She's four now. Yeah, that's right. She just 00:03:20.180 --> 00:03:22.419 had her birthday not that long ago. But that 00:03:22.419 --> 00:03:25.740 was amazing. The spirit there was just blow away. 00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:29.740 Amazing to me. We had a great episode last week. 00:03:30.060 --> 00:03:34.680 Nick and Crystal. I mean, I've already got comments 00:03:34.680 --> 00:03:38.379 galore. People are listening to them from literally 00:03:38.379 --> 00:03:42.650 all over the world, you know, and and. I think 00:03:42.650 --> 00:03:46.430 it's just super cool, Dub, when we can. find 00:03:46.430 --> 00:03:49.449 a story or when this well we all have stories 00:03:49.449 --> 00:03:52.189 like that and even in ourselves but when those 00:03:52.189 --> 00:03:56.229 stories help inspire us to to be more to do more 00:03:56.229 --> 00:03:59.389 to maybe try just a little harder to be aligned 00:03:59.389 --> 00:04:02.050 a little better you know with the blessings that 00:04:02.050 --> 00:04:05.069 come from Christ's atonement and what a great 00:04:05.069 --> 00:04:07.849 story yeah and listening to it man it makes the 00:04:07.849 --> 00:04:10.610 atonement of Jesus Christ come alive yeah it's 00:04:10.610 --> 00:04:14.580 like wow that really is tangible in your life, 00:04:14.780 --> 00:04:20.120 and how things that were unfixable, that they 00:04:20.120 --> 00:04:24.360 thought were beyond repair, and how the Lord 00:04:24.360 --> 00:04:29.180 just stepped in. I loved that Nick said, Jesus 00:04:29.180 --> 00:04:32.319 likes to get his hands dirty. And I just thought, 00:04:32.639 --> 00:04:35.899 of all the places he's been, he probably knows 00:04:35.899 --> 00:04:40.560 that. Because he's allowed Jesus to really come 00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:46.040 into his life. And Crystal being so obedient 00:04:46.040 --> 00:04:51.800 and so gentle and so doing everything she could 00:04:51.800 --> 00:04:54.660 with those kids. That was just such an amazing 00:04:54.660 --> 00:04:58.100 story. If you haven't heard it yet, push pause 00:04:58.100 --> 00:05:01.459 right now. and go back and listen to that one. 00:05:01.839 --> 00:05:05.339 It's a must. Yeah, that is definitely one that 00:05:05.339 --> 00:05:08.079 you should definitely listen to. Well, definitely 00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:09.959 listen to before you listen to this one because 00:05:09.959 --> 00:05:11.740 we're actually going to some of the things that 00:05:11.740 --> 00:05:13.220 we're going to be talking about today are going 00:05:13.220 --> 00:05:16.079 to be spun off from that exactly. So it'd be 00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:19.519 helpful if you haven't to do that. The month 00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:23.500 of November always has me reflect. and kind of 00:05:23.500 --> 00:05:29.139 focus on gratitude and Thanksgiving. It's a gratitude 00:05:29.139 --> 00:05:31.600 month. I don't know why I wait till November 00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:35.160 to focus on that, but I do. I try to remember 00:05:35.160 --> 00:05:38.379 gratitude throughout the year, but it seems like 00:05:38.379 --> 00:05:43.860 it's a lot more boiling to the surface. You cut 00:05:43.860 --> 00:05:45.959 yourself short. You focus on gratitude a lot. 00:05:46.460 --> 00:05:49.540 I have a front seat to it. You focus on gratitude 00:05:49.540 --> 00:05:51.660 a lot. In fact, you encourage a lot of people 00:05:51.660 --> 00:05:54.339 around you to focus on gratitude a lot. Maybe 00:05:54.339 --> 00:05:57.300 you're just hypersensitive to it this month. 00:05:57.680 --> 00:06:00.480 And I think that happens probably to some degree 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:04.379 to all of us. Well, hopefully. Maybe it doesn't 00:06:04.379 --> 00:06:06.279 happen to all of us. But you know, this is a 00:06:06.279 --> 00:06:08.120 month of reflection, a month of Thanksgiving. 00:06:08.379 --> 00:06:11.579 Yeah, and I'm definitely one that loves the holiday 00:06:11.579 --> 00:06:14.360 season. I think Halloween's wonderful. I think 00:06:14.360 --> 00:06:17.899 October's fun and the fall colors are fabulous. 00:06:17.899 --> 00:06:21.100 And I like to just kind of push a pause and a 00:06:21.100 --> 00:06:24.420 be still moment before Christmas because I think 00:06:24.420 --> 00:06:28.019 Christmas gets sometimes a little too loud and 00:06:28.019 --> 00:06:32.439 and commercialized by and that's my choice. I 00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:39.360 mean, I do it for I do it. because I have so 00:06:39.360 --> 00:06:41.360 many kids and I want to just make sure everybody's 00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:47.240 happy. I think for me, reflecting and pushing 00:06:47.240 --> 00:06:51.959 pause this month, it's good for me to just kind 00:06:51.959 --> 00:06:54.959 of slow down and keep things simple, keep things 00:06:54.959 --> 00:07:00.800 calm, keep things, be still and know that I am 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:04.139 God. And gratitude puts me there really fast. 00:07:04.579 --> 00:07:08.620 Interesting how that works. It's one of the things 00:07:08.620 --> 00:07:11.399 too, and we've talked about this a lot, we'll 00:07:11.399 --> 00:07:13.519 probably continue to, but it's one of those things 00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:16.800 that in everything in life, I always go back 00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:19.740 to my experience in recovery and the rooms of 00:07:19.740 --> 00:07:21.759 recovery and stuff like that, but that's one 00:07:21.759 --> 00:07:25.680 of our first go -tos. When something is disturbed 00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:29.279 in me, that was one of the first things my sponsors 00:07:29.279 --> 00:07:31.839 would teach me is, have you made a gratitude 00:07:31.839 --> 00:07:35.540 list? They have a lingo that they say if you 00:07:35.540 --> 00:07:38.740 have an attitude, try gratitude. I still use 00:07:38.740 --> 00:07:45.319 it. But it's true. Being grateful is one of the 00:07:45.319 --> 00:07:47.720 things that really take us away from ourselves. 00:07:48.519 --> 00:07:50.939 It's true. It's true. And there's been times 00:07:50.939 --> 00:07:54.360 that when I was working with a sponsor and she's 00:07:54.360 --> 00:07:56.620 like, hey, you need to go with a gratitude list. 00:07:57.100 --> 00:07:59.879 And I'm sarcastic and angry about her gratitude 00:07:59.879 --> 00:08:01.819 list. And I'm like, well, I'm grateful for a 00:08:01.819 --> 00:08:04.680 flushing toilet. Like, I just would get almost 00:08:04.680 --> 00:08:08.310 angry gratitude. But as soon as I keep writing 00:08:08.310 --> 00:08:11.149 and writing and writing, it soon shifts. Yeah. 00:08:11.850 --> 00:08:13.829 Yeah. Telling on myself again. I actually had 00:08:13.829 --> 00:08:17.170 a young man who's in recovery reach out to me 00:08:17.170 --> 00:08:19.589 today, you know, cause that gratitude list is 00:08:19.589 --> 00:08:22.120 a lot of times. a part of a person's what we 00:08:22.120 --> 00:08:24.819 call dailies. You know, Nick talked about dailies 00:08:24.819 --> 00:08:27.860 a lot in the podcast last week, how he did a 00:08:27.860 --> 00:08:30.899 lot of writing, you know, and his communion and 00:08:30.899 --> 00:08:33.399 communication and conscious contact with God, 00:08:33.419 --> 00:08:35.799 how important that is. And I had a young man 00:08:35.799 --> 00:08:38.629 today reach out to me and about. Well, we were 00:08:38.629 --> 00:08:41.629 at lunch together. So I got this text while we 00:08:41.629 --> 00:08:44.190 were at lunch and he says, I didn't do my dailies 00:08:44.190 --> 00:08:46.409 till lunch. It feels so much different when I 00:08:46.409 --> 00:08:49.750 ask God to drive me through my day. I feel myself 00:08:49.750 --> 00:08:53.250 being kinder almost instantly to the people that 00:08:53.250 --> 00:08:56.049 I communicate with. Haha, silly, but I wanted 00:08:56.049 --> 00:08:59.649 to share God is so awesome. I'm so grateful for 00:08:59.649 --> 00:09:02.590 Jesus. It's interesting how gratitude will rip 00:09:02.590 --> 00:09:05.970 me right out of myself and put me right back 00:09:05.970 --> 00:09:08.340 into the spirit because You know, David taught 00:09:08.340 --> 00:09:11.539 me this and he learned it from somebody at the 00:09:11.539 --> 00:09:13.659 MTC that gave a talk or something and I could 00:09:13.659 --> 00:09:17.100 go back and look it up. But gratitude is the 00:09:17.100 --> 00:09:21.279 beginning of desire. When I have a deep gratitude 00:09:21.279 --> 00:09:26.120 or when I'm fostering or cultivating my gratitude, 00:09:26.179 --> 00:09:27.899 like you were just talking about, then I have 00:09:27.899 --> 00:09:32.360 a deeper desire to be more aligned. Like this 00:09:32.360 --> 00:09:35.159 young man said, I feel myself being kinder almost 00:09:35.159 --> 00:09:38.730 instantly. And who doesn't need more kindness? 00:09:39.289 --> 00:09:43.090 It's so true. I know I do. It's so true. I know 00:09:43.090 --> 00:09:46.250 I do. I'm going to pull gratitude into December 00:09:46.250 --> 00:09:49.269 and January and February and March and April. 00:09:49.730 --> 00:09:53.600 Like you always do, like I already said. Getting 00:09:53.600 --> 00:09:56.240 back to Nick and Crystal's episode from last 00:09:56.240 --> 00:09:59.879 week, Deb, that's one of the great stories that 00:09:59.879 --> 00:10:04.360 I've ever heard around forgiveness. And when 00:10:04.360 --> 00:10:06.700 I say around forgiveness, you think, oh, well, 00:10:06.700 --> 00:10:10.159 yeah, she really did forgive him. And there's 00:10:10.159 --> 00:10:13.580 more to that story than just that. He forgave 00:10:13.580 --> 00:10:19.100 himself. And all of that is a forgiveness or 00:10:19.100 --> 00:10:21.679 is forgiven through Christ's atonement to all 00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:24.789 involved. as far as long as they align with those 00:10:24.789 --> 00:10:27.830 blessings that come with it, right? Right. They 00:10:27.830 --> 00:10:30.769 just are such a great example of, you know, getting 00:10:30.769 --> 00:10:34.610 out of the way and letting, you know, God be 00:10:34.610 --> 00:10:37.470 in charge. They're really good at that. Yeah. 00:10:37.610 --> 00:10:39.710 You know what, though? Forgiveness isn't always 00:10:39.710 --> 00:10:41.929 a reunion story. And that's the thing we want 00:10:41.929 --> 00:10:45.830 to I want to kind of emphasize today is that 00:10:45.830 --> 00:10:49.220 just. But forgiveness isn't always gonna be butterflies 00:10:49.220 --> 00:10:52.799 and cupcakes. It's not always gonna turn out 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:55.840 Nick and crystal -like. You know what I mean? 00:10:55.980 --> 00:11:00.679 It's not always, in fact, I don't know if it's 00:11:00.679 --> 00:11:02.600 more rare or not rare, it would be anecdotal 00:11:02.600 --> 00:11:07.539 for me to even guess, but I think that often 00:11:07.539 --> 00:11:12.470 times, When we hear stories like that, and then 00:11:12.470 --> 00:11:15.490 when our experience doesn't align like that, 00:11:15.529 --> 00:11:17.450 then we think, oh, we must be doing something 00:11:17.450 --> 00:11:18.990 wrong. And I don't ever want anybody to feel 00:11:18.990 --> 00:11:23.789 that way. Because forgiveness is really, sometimes 00:11:23.789 --> 00:11:27.610 it happens privately, sometimes there's no restoration, 00:11:28.230 --> 00:11:31.409 sometimes there's not even an apology, sometimes 00:11:31.409 --> 00:11:34.370 there's absolutely no evidence that the person 00:11:34.370 --> 00:11:38.740 even cares. And so how do we deal with that? 00:11:39.500 --> 00:11:41.419 And I want to talk that's what I want to talk 00:11:41.419 --> 00:11:43.620 about I mean that's what we want to talk about 00:11:43.620 --> 00:11:48.899 today is is that you know and evidence that the 00:11:48.899 --> 00:11:51.620 No apologies and no evidence that the person 00:11:51.620 --> 00:11:54.220 even cares, you know forgiveness is less about 00:11:54.220 --> 00:11:57.320 excusing the offender Deb and more about unlocking 00:11:57.320 --> 00:12:02.159 your own Chains or unlocking our own chains through 00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:06.559 Jesus, you know, I I have pictures to go with 00:12:06.559 --> 00:12:09.419 those words because I think there was a very 00:12:09.419 --> 00:12:14.019 long time that I felt victimized and just I mean 00:12:14.019 --> 00:12:16.899 you know I could tell you the story and and you 00:12:16.899 --> 00:12:20.299 would probably agree with me that I I was you 00:12:20.299 --> 00:12:23.639 know that wasn't fair that wasn't right and I 00:12:23.639 --> 00:12:26.899 I held on to that for so long to the point that 00:12:26.899 --> 00:12:31.440 the resentment was was intense that it was like 00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:33.740 I resented so bad and I remember sitting in a 00:12:33.740 --> 00:12:36.759 meeting one time and they they talked about resentment 00:12:36.759 --> 00:12:39.840 and it's like you know you you drink this poison 00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:42.899 and you hope that other person dies and I just 00:12:42.899 --> 00:12:45.460 pushed pause for a second and I was like that 00:12:45.460 --> 00:12:48.580 is exactly what I'm doing I am drinking this 00:12:48.580 --> 00:12:53.399 toxic toxic drink or or ingesting these toxic 00:12:53.399 --> 00:12:57.220 thoughts and this person doesn't even know or 00:12:57.220 --> 00:13:01.179 care what they have put me through or what I 00:13:01.179 --> 00:13:04.240 have endured because of their choices. And I 00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:06.620 just thought, why am I giving them that much 00:13:06.620 --> 00:13:10.779 power? It was, it was a really big shift for 00:13:10.779 --> 00:13:17.620 me to take my power back is basically And I loved 00:13:17.620 --> 00:13:20.399 in here where it says, unlocking your own chains 00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:23.220 through Christ, because he's the one that unlocked 00:13:23.220 --> 00:13:26.059 that. You know, it's like, okay, I'm not going 00:13:26.059 --> 00:13:28.620 to give this person any more power to destroy 00:13:28.620 --> 00:13:31.120 me or to make me feel resentful. but I'm gonna 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:35.179 let the Savior carry this burden, and I'm gonna 00:13:35.179 --> 00:13:37.700 give it to Him. And there were times I had to 00:13:37.700 --> 00:13:39.220 put this person's name in the temple, because 00:13:39.220 --> 00:13:40.620 I couldn't pray for them, you know, pray for 00:13:40.620 --> 00:13:42.960 your enemies, pray for those who spitefully use 00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:49.019 you. I had a big story. And I definitely, you 00:13:49.019 --> 00:13:54.179 know, I wanted them to die. You know what I mean? 00:13:54.440 --> 00:13:56.259 I mean, that sounds so brutal, but that's how 00:13:56.259 --> 00:13:58.940 I felt. And I'm like, you know what, they're 00:13:58.940 --> 00:14:02.940 a child of God. You know what? I'm going to give 00:14:02.940 --> 00:14:09.120 them to God because they're His. It was the softening 00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:11.340 that happened when I could write the name on 00:14:11.340 --> 00:14:16.740 the prayer roll and then eventually I could start 00:14:16.740 --> 00:14:19.320 praying for them. How did you come to that point 00:14:19.320 --> 00:14:21.679 though where you could start praying for them? 00:14:21.960 --> 00:14:25.019 You know what? Last week when Crystal was talking 00:14:25.019 --> 00:14:28.159 about how it was just such a hard thing and I'm 00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:30.700 not a hater. That's the thing. That's true about 00:14:30.700 --> 00:14:35.120 you. I just don't hate. And to have that kind 00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:39.399 of feeling inside of me was torturous because 00:14:39.399 --> 00:14:46.740 I don't hate. And I think I had this internal 00:14:46.740 --> 00:14:52.919 turmoil that I just had to let go of the tornado 00:14:52.919 --> 00:14:59.000 inside of me. And when I was able to from my 00:14:59.000 --> 00:15:02.340 heart and not make me physically sick, be able 00:15:02.340 --> 00:15:05.919 to say, oh God, please forgive them. Please forgive 00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:09.100 them. I mean, as much as it hurt me, they'd have 00:15:09.100 --> 00:15:13.779 to be hurting too. And it was a painful process 00:15:13.779 --> 00:15:20.019 of years of hard things. And did it fix the wrong? 00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:23.899 It didn't necessarily fix the wrong, but it changed 00:15:23.899 --> 00:15:27.759 my heart. It 100 % changed my heart. And I think 00:15:27.759 --> 00:15:30.919 that's the piece that was the miracle of it all 00:15:30.919 --> 00:15:34.039 because even when I think this is the lowest 00:15:34.039 --> 00:15:36.080 I'm going to get, something else would happen 00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:38.179 and kick me while I was down. And I was like, 00:15:38.179 --> 00:15:41.940 Oh, no, why is this happening? Why I'm doing 00:15:41.940 --> 00:15:45.700 everything I can. And I, I, I think it was, you 00:15:45.700 --> 00:15:47.899 know, the Lord's way of saying, Deb, you got 00:15:47.899 --> 00:15:51.850 this, you know, you. You've got this. Yeah. And 00:15:51.850 --> 00:15:57.190 what that really means is, Deb, you've got this. 00:15:57.509 --> 00:15:59.690 Deb, I've got this and you need to let me have 00:15:59.690 --> 00:16:03.029 it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was really a letting 00:16:03.029 --> 00:16:06.309 go for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure. I'm sure of 00:16:06.309 --> 00:16:10.779 that. Well, when it comes to forgiveness like 00:16:10.779 --> 00:16:13.840 so many other things. It's like, okay, so what 00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:17.159 does that exactly look like? You know, forgiveness. 00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:23.059 But I guess before even we dive into that. There 00:16:23.059 --> 00:16:25.620 are just so many things that every single one 00:16:25.620 --> 00:16:29.299 of us bump up against that's going to require 00:16:29.299 --> 00:16:33.500 us to exercise forgiveness towards somebody at 00:16:33.500 --> 00:16:36.759 some point in our lives. It just happens all 00:16:36.759 --> 00:16:38.779 the time. I mean, you look around us right now 00:16:38.779 --> 00:16:42.279 and there's so much turmoil and anxiety and everything 00:16:42.279 --> 00:16:44.500 else that's going on, not just in the world, 00:16:44.500 --> 00:16:49.159 but in families. Satan has the adversary, the 00:16:49.159 --> 00:16:53.120 enemy, has infiltrated families. Now, even some 00:16:53.120 --> 00:16:56.159 of the best families that I know, even our family, 00:16:56.559 --> 00:16:59.220 you know, we get infiltration from time to time. 00:16:59.820 --> 00:17:03.360 And there are miscues and missteps and little 00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:07.400 offenses taken and sometimes they're not intended 00:17:07.400 --> 00:17:09.900 to be offenses and sometimes they actually are. 00:17:10.539 --> 00:17:14.480 But forgiveness seems to be kind of the key to 00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:19.220 finding peace among all of that. I think it's 00:17:19.220 --> 00:17:21.859 like Nick said last week, you know, Jesus likes 00:17:21.859 --> 00:17:23.799 to get his hands dirty and I think we just need 00:17:23.799 --> 00:17:31.240 to be more willing to say, you know, this is 00:17:31.240 --> 00:17:35.720 bigger than me, I can't do this. I'm going to 00:17:35.720 --> 00:17:38.240 listen, I'm going to pray and meditate and I'm 00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:42.440 going to follow what you ask me to do and I'll 00:17:42.440 --> 00:17:47.660 make the steps but I cannot, I can't fix this. 00:17:47.930 --> 00:17:50.569 It's bigger than me. But I know you can. And 00:17:50.569 --> 00:17:53.650 I think that having that faith knowing that he 00:17:53.650 --> 00:17:57.130 literally can is such a game changer. In the 00:17:57.130 --> 00:18:00.190 Divine Gift of Forgiveness, the book by Elder 00:18:00.190 --> 00:18:02.569 Anderson, he talks a lot about this. In fact, 00:18:02.650 --> 00:18:04.769 doesn't he dedicate a whole chapter to it, Deb? 00:18:05.230 --> 00:18:09.450 Yeah, in chapter 21, it's titled, Forgiveness 00:18:09.450 --> 00:18:12.950 Through Forgiving. So forgiveness through forgiving. 00:18:13.410 --> 00:18:16.109 So that seems to tell me that in order for me 00:18:16.109 --> 00:18:19.369 to be forgiven, I need to forgive too. Sure does. 00:18:21.569 --> 00:18:24.710 That's the piece that made me want not to be 00:18:24.710 --> 00:18:26.990 resentful. I was like, gosh, I have got plenty 00:18:26.990 --> 00:18:32.190 that I need to be forgiven for. I got to forgive. 00:18:32.670 --> 00:18:35.410 Yeah. So time out, you had stuff you needed to 00:18:35.410 --> 00:18:37.089 be forgiven for? Oh yeah, a hundred percent. 00:18:37.150 --> 00:18:40.890 So are you then maybe suggesting that we all 00:18:40.890 --> 00:18:44.990 can be, I hate to use this word, victims, but 00:18:44.990 --> 00:18:48.509 we can also be all be... Victimizers. Perpetrators. 00:18:48.509 --> 00:18:51.910 Perpetrators, yeah. Yeah. I mean, not all of 00:18:51.910 --> 00:18:54.750 us are perfectly kind and perfectly loving and... 00:18:54.750 --> 00:18:56.569 Not all of us? Do you know any of us who are? 00:18:56.569 --> 00:18:59.369 No. Okay, I didn't do that. No, I mean even the 00:18:59.369 --> 00:19:03.970 nicest human that we think is... I don't know, 00:19:04.130 --> 00:19:07.190 my grandma Durfee was probably there. Your dad 00:19:07.190 --> 00:19:12.109 was pretty close too. But in that chapter though, 00:19:12.630 --> 00:19:16.450 I love how he sometimes uses this teaching method 00:19:16.450 --> 00:19:21.769 that sometimes in order for us to really learn 00:19:21.769 --> 00:19:24.470 what something is, we need to know what it's 00:19:24.470 --> 00:19:29.509 not. And I think this really applies a great 00:19:29.509 --> 00:19:32.750 deal when it comes to talking about forgiveness, 00:19:33.470 --> 00:19:37.609 because I think that we can not pretend, but 00:19:37.609 --> 00:19:40.289 we can trick ourselves into thinking that we're 00:19:40.289 --> 00:19:44.250 actually participating in forgiveness by doing 00:19:44.250 --> 00:19:46.430 certain things that aren't really forgiveness. 00:19:46.690 --> 00:19:51.250 For example, forgiveness is not pretending that 00:19:51.250 --> 00:19:55.309 something didn't happen. No. Right? Correct. 00:19:57.159 --> 00:20:01.279 It's not necessarily well, it's not at all trusting 00:20:01.279 --> 00:20:03.819 somebody again just automatically because of 00:20:03.819 --> 00:20:07.920 an apology or a whatever Forgiveness isn't even 00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:12.140 reconciliation No, it isn't. I mean you can be 00:20:12.140 --> 00:20:16.579 reconciled with no forgiveness Right. Yeah for 00:20:16.579 --> 00:20:19.859 sure Forgiveness a lot of us have to be reconciled 00:20:19.859 --> 00:20:22.839 without forgiveness What do you mean by that? 00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:26.559 That means that? you know, sometimes we get offended 00:20:26.559 --> 00:20:30.799 or something happens and we never get it. Some 00:20:30.799 --> 00:20:33.359 nobody, I mean, nobody will say I'm sorry. Yeah. 00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:39.700 And that's not their job to because so I can 00:20:39.700 --> 00:20:43.480 forgive. Yeah. It is not my job to wait for, 00:20:43.660 --> 00:20:46.799 for the apology for me to forgive. Well, and 00:20:46.799 --> 00:20:49.380 that's one side of the reconciliation coin. The 00:20:49.380 --> 00:20:51.740 other side of the reconciliation coin is this, 00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:54.910 you know, somebody offends me, they apologize 00:20:54.910 --> 00:20:57.650 to me, I say, oh, no problem, you're forgiven. 00:20:57.769 --> 00:21:00.329 And then I continue to harbor resentment and 00:21:00.329 --> 00:21:03.410 to talk bad about them and to hold all kinds 00:21:03.410 --> 00:21:05.789 of bad feelings towards them. That doesn't feel 00:21:05.789 --> 00:21:10.250 like forgiveness either, right? Even though reconciliation's 00:21:10.250 --> 00:21:13.109 there, that's just not, also just not forgiveness 00:21:13.109 --> 00:21:18.009 either. So, forgiveness doesn't mean I'm weak. 00:21:18.130 --> 00:21:20.329 If I forgive somebody of something, that doesn't 00:21:20.329 --> 00:21:24.700 mean I'm weak. You're looking at me like, well, 00:21:24.799 --> 00:21:26.680 it doesn't even occur to me that that would be 00:21:26.680 --> 00:21:30.099 an issue, Scott. Yeah, the Savior forgave, hanging 00:21:30.099 --> 00:21:33.359 on a cross. Yeah. I mean, His perpetrators nailed 00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:36.720 Him, beat Him, spit upon Him. I mean, they... 00:21:36.720 --> 00:21:38.880 I know, but what I'm talking about, the kind 00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:41.839 of forgiveness I'm talking about is, as a dad, 00:21:42.039 --> 00:21:44.720 somebody offends my family, hurts my family in 00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:48.319 some way. It doesn't show weakness for me not 00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:52.960 to retaliate. Forgive for me to forgive them 00:21:52.960 --> 00:21:55.619 doesn't mean I'm weak. I got a hundred stories 00:21:55.619 --> 00:21:58.920 about this. Do you remember the story of? the 00:21:58.920 --> 00:22:03.759 Amish people when they There was a shooter. I 00:22:03.759 --> 00:22:06.240 can't remember if it was Ohio or Pennsylvania 00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:08.799 exactly where exactly I'd have to look it up 00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:11.200 But a shooter shooter goes in and kills five 00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:15.079 little schoolgirls in an Amish schoolhouse Just 00:22:15.079 --> 00:22:18.480 goes crazy. I mean, you know akin to the same 00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:20.339 kind of garbage that we see today that happened 00:22:20.339 --> 00:22:25.460 in 2006 They show up the Amish people the family 00:22:25.460 --> 00:22:29.759 they show up at the shooters funeral the shooters 00:22:29.759 --> 00:22:34.420 funeral told that somebody among the Amish people 00:22:34.420 --> 00:22:36.900 that had actually saved her from suicide their 00:22:36.900 --> 00:22:39.160 forgiveness because she didn't know what to do 00:22:39.160 --> 00:22:41.480 with it the mother of the of the perpetrator 00:22:41.480 --> 00:22:43.660 the mother of the shooter didn't know what to 00:22:43.660 --> 00:22:46.299 do with all this but the Amish the the people 00:22:46.299 --> 00:22:49.259 in that little schoolhouse and in that community 00:22:49.259 --> 00:22:52.940 were able to Extend forgiveness. There was a 00:22:52.940 --> 00:22:55.380 big newspaper article about, you remember that? 00:22:56.660 --> 00:23:00.599 2006, I know. But what an example of forgiveness. 00:23:00.980 --> 00:23:04.759 So you contrast that with the belief that, you 00:23:04.759 --> 00:23:10.119 know, the cowboy, the Yellowstone type of belief 00:23:10.119 --> 00:23:12.839 that, you know, an eye for an eye, a tooth for 00:23:12.839 --> 00:23:14.539 a tooth, you hurt my family, I'm going to hurt 00:23:14.539 --> 00:23:18.299 you, that kind of thing. I mean, so when we say 00:23:18.299 --> 00:23:22.230 forgiveness isn't weakness, It's not weakness. 00:23:23.410 --> 00:23:27.109 In fact, it may be a demonstration of some of 00:23:27.109 --> 00:23:29.269 the greatest strength that I've ever seen. For 00:23:29.269 --> 00:23:35.250 sure. In this book, the Divine Gift of Forgiveness, 00:23:35.349 --> 00:23:37.769 in this chapter we just talked about, he says 00:23:37.769 --> 00:23:41.579 forgiveness is not forgetting. But remembering 00:23:41.579 --> 00:23:45.140 in peace says forget forgiveness is putting more 00:23:45.140 --> 00:23:49.299 faith in Jesus Christ and his Atonement and his 00:23:49.299 --> 00:23:53.839 time and in his way His love and sacrifice for 00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:57.700 us will take away our pain and heal our souls 00:23:57.700 --> 00:24:02.980 as we wait upon his his healing, remembering 00:24:02.980 --> 00:24:06.740 how unjustly the Savior of the world was treated. 00:24:07.380 --> 00:24:10.279 We move forward with faith, believing that in 00:24:10.279 --> 00:24:15.980 this world or the next, God will generously and 00:24:15.980 --> 00:24:19.000 justly bless all those who have been treated 00:24:19.000 --> 00:24:22.400 unjustly. It's like, wow, that's a pretty powerful 00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:25.519 God. Like he's going to make the wrongs right. 00:24:26.119 --> 00:24:28.839 And that's the piece that it's like, it may not 00:24:28.839 --> 00:24:31.299 feel like that in this life. But you know what? 00:24:31.400 --> 00:24:34.559 I know I'll have it in in the next life or I 00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:37.019 you know, I will find that peace So how do you 00:24:37.019 --> 00:24:39.900 come to that though? I mean, I think it's faith. 00:24:39.980 --> 00:24:43.269 I really do. I agree But that's a question that 00:24:43.269 --> 00:24:45.390 everybody's asking themselves, you know Scott 00:24:45.390 --> 00:24:47.630 and Deb you make it sound so easy You know, here's 00:24:47.630 --> 00:24:50.490 this cute little and I don't I don't mean I mean 00:24:50.490 --> 00:24:52.589 no disrespect But here's this cute little story 00:24:52.589 --> 00:24:55.210 about Nick and crystal and it all worked out 00:24:55.210 --> 00:24:58.109 roses and butterflies and gumballs and decades 00:24:58.109 --> 00:25:01.089 of work though Yeah, but there's been a lot of 00:25:01.089 --> 00:25:03.190 decades of work that just never pan out for people 00:25:03.190 --> 00:25:06.019 to and and you know what? You can thank Heavenly 00:25:06.019 --> 00:25:08.160 Father for that because sometimes you have to 00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:10.660 thank God for unanswered prayers too. Do you 00:25:10.660 --> 00:25:13.299 have the faith to not be healed? Right. Kind 00:25:13.299 --> 00:25:16.819 of idea. Right. It's those kinds of things that, 00:25:16.819 --> 00:25:19.960 you know, we just have to trust that we're not 00:25:19.960 --> 00:25:23.319 in charge and trust that God knows. When He lives 00:25:23.319 --> 00:25:29.339 in an eternal now and He can see our ending and 00:25:29.339 --> 00:25:31.299 He knows how everything's going to work out. 00:25:31.299 --> 00:25:33.240 You know, I have a big magnet on the fridge. 00:25:33.740 --> 00:25:37.180 that says, not to spoil anything, but in the 00:25:37.180 --> 00:25:39.640 end, everything's going to work out. It's like, 00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:42.500 you know what? It'll all work out. And if it's 00:25:42.500 --> 00:25:44.559 not worked out, it's not the end. Well, right. 00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:46.940 And here's the other thing. I don't think God's 00:25:46.940 --> 00:25:49.420 up there going, I'm going to pick you to have 00:25:49.420 --> 00:25:51.319 a happily ever after, and I'm going to pick you 00:25:51.319 --> 00:25:54.119 to not have a happily ever after. He is in the 00:25:54.119 --> 00:25:57.259 details. He knows our lives. He knows our struggles. 00:25:57.420 --> 00:26:01.339 He knows our pains. He knows them. And if we 00:26:01.339 --> 00:26:03.680 push push pause, in fact, I've done this numerous 00:26:03.680 --> 00:26:06.900 times, push pause in my life, and I look back 00:26:06.900 --> 00:26:09.960 at how he showed up in my life, it's way easier 00:26:09.960 --> 00:26:13.519 to see it in my past than even in my current, 00:26:13.559 --> 00:26:17.740 in the now, because I'm like, holy father, my 00:26:17.740 --> 00:26:20.480 primary program kinda went south. Like, not really, 00:26:20.539 --> 00:26:23.099 but. It was perfect, but yeah. I know. But I 00:26:23.099 --> 00:26:25.180 mean, it's just like one of those things that 00:26:25.180 --> 00:26:29.099 you question in the now. But sometimes when you 00:26:29.099 --> 00:26:31.519 look back, you go, you know what, he was in the 00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:33.880 details and everything worked out absolutely 00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:37.920 perfect. Just exactly. I learned what I needed 00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:41.000 to learn. I, you know, I, I mean, there were 00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:43.880 challenges that I went through the same ones 00:26:43.880 --> 00:26:46.259 over and over and over to the point that it's 00:26:46.259 --> 00:26:48.839 like people would look at me, counselors to be 00:26:48.839 --> 00:26:51.980 exact and say, do you have your head on straight? 00:26:52.220 --> 00:26:54.579 Do you have, you ever thought about this to the 00:26:54.579 --> 00:26:57.480 point that it's like, you know what? I probably 00:26:57.480 --> 00:27:00.410 should. you know, really kind of reflect and, 00:27:00.410 --> 00:27:05.150 and look, because I was such a hard follower 00:27:05.150 --> 00:27:09.170 of not breaking up an eternal family. And, you 00:27:09.170 --> 00:27:11.890 know, the counselor, you know, would say to me, 00:27:11.950 --> 00:27:13.630 have you ever considered divorce when I was married 00:27:13.630 --> 00:27:16.569 to my first husband, because of the things that 00:27:16.569 --> 00:27:19.450 we were going through? I was like, no, you know, 00:27:19.470 --> 00:27:22.089 I'm here to have an eternal family. That wasn't, 00:27:22.089 --> 00:27:25.680 that wasn't, that wasn't what God wanted for 00:27:25.680 --> 00:27:28.200 me. As much as I wanted it, as much as I prayed, 00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:32.079 as much as I was trying to make it all work out, 00:27:32.500 --> 00:27:34.700 that's not, in the end, that is not what God 00:27:34.700 --> 00:27:38.259 wanted. So you say it's faith. Yeah. And that 00:27:38.259 --> 00:27:40.079 faith didn't just come. You didn't just wake 00:27:40.079 --> 00:27:41.799 up one day and say, okay, I'm going to have faith 00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:46.299 now. No, it's a muscle. Well, it's a relationship, 00:27:46.539 --> 00:27:50.700 right? 100 % relationship. Yeah. But a relationship 00:27:50.700 --> 00:27:53.960 is a muscle. Exactly. It comes out of nurturing 00:27:53.960 --> 00:27:57.559 and time well spent and time together and time 00:27:57.559 --> 00:28:00.980 listening and time in communion and and all of 00:28:00.980 --> 00:28:03.220 that other stuff and then it comes no other way. 00:28:03.759 --> 00:28:06.960 Yeah. Right. I think the trust, I mean, the faith 00:28:06.960 --> 00:28:09.779 part is, you know, when you're when you're begging 00:28:09.779 --> 00:28:12.119 and pleading and you're just like, I don't even 00:28:12.119 --> 00:28:14.279 know where to step next. I don't even know how 00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:17.710 to feel. Yeah. You know, and you just have those 00:28:17.710 --> 00:28:21.250 little tiny glimpses of direction. It's like, 00:28:21.569 --> 00:28:26.130 okay, you know, I would love to have that. And 00:28:26.130 --> 00:28:30.089 I have had, but to have that daily get up and 00:28:30.089 --> 00:28:32.890 turn right, turn left, stand up, jump down, you 00:28:32.890 --> 00:28:35.690 know, those kinds of things that would be just 00:28:35.690 --> 00:28:37.769 absolutely clear. But God doesn't want me to 00:28:37.769 --> 00:28:42.529 do life that way. You know, it's just, I don't 00:28:42.529 --> 00:28:46.339 know. You always want to. a rule book or a map 00:28:46.339 --> 00:28:48.319 to follow, but then if you really had one, you 00:28:48.319 --> 00:28:50.279 wouldn't do it anyway. I wouldn't do it anyway. 00:28:51.240 --> 00:28:55.200 Yeah, sure. I don't think any of us would. I 00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:59.480 have a clip here I want to play. This is from 00:28:59.480 --> 00:29:02.960 Elder Anderson's talk from October, this past 00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:05.839 conference, October 20th, 25th General Conference. 00:29:06.059 --> 00:29:09.660 It's called The Toning Love of Jesus Christ. 00:29:10.140 --> 00:29:13.140 The powerful compassion of the Savior in forgiving 00:29:13.140 --> 00:29:16.019 sin and in healing the wounds caused by the sins 00:29:16.019 --> 00:29:20.180 of others is a most miraculous manifestation 00:29:20.180 --> 00:29:25.680 of the love of God. My desire is to offer hope 00:29:25.680 --> 00:29:28.339 for those seeking forgiveness for very serious 00:29:28.339 --> 00:29:32.539 sins and to offer comfort to those seeking healing 00:29:32.539 --> 00:29:36.160 from the anguishing wounds caused by the serious 00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:41.759 sins of others. Healing and forgiveness are each 00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:44.140 found in their fullness in the atoning love of 00:29:44.140 --> 00:29:48.579 Jesus Christ. The powerful compassion of the 00:29:48.579 --> 00:29:51.359 Savior in forgiving sin and in healing the wounds 00:29:51.359 --> 00:29:56.339 caused by the sins of others is a most miraculous 00:29:56.339 --> 00:29:59.619 manifestation of the love of God. So what you're 00:29:59.619 --> 00:30:02.740 talking about is a manifestation of the love 00:30:02.740 --> 00:30:05.339 of God, and you felt that, didn't you? 100%. 00:30:05.339 --> 00:30:09.900 Absolutely, I did. Yeah, what a contrast to what 00:30:09.900 --> 00:30:12.779 it would have been if you had hang hung on and 00:30:12.779 --> 00:30:15.400 I know we're talking about a situation But I 00:30:15.400 --> 00:30:17.940 know that there's been multiple situations in 00:30:17.940 --> 00:30:21.039 all of our lives some some big some small perhaps, 00:30:21.039 --> 00:30:24.420 you know, and maybe Deb maybe Some of our listeners 00:30:24.420 --> 00:30:28.359 have had some atrocities that just weak we can't 00:30:28.359 --> 00:30:31.619 even understand. Absolutely And a lot of hard 00:30:31.619 --> 00:30:34.960 in the world. Yeah lot of really hard things 00:30:34.960 --> 00:30:38.119 people are going through and burdens that they're 00:30:38.119 --> 00:30:41.859 carrying on their shoulders, and it's like please 00:30:41.859 --> 00:30:46.819 Take it to the foot of the cross take it to Jesus 00:30:46.819 --> 00:30:51.250 I love Take it to the foot of the cross. That 00:30:51.250 --> 00:30:56.369 is so appropriate. And it reminds me of one of 00:30:56.369 --> 00:30:58.750 our favorite go -to scriptures that we talk about 00:30:58.750 --> 00:31:02.349 so frequently, Alma chapter seven, right? So 00:31:02.349 --> 00:31:05.690 this even applies to our being able to forgive. 00:31:05.789 --> 00:31:08.809 And he shall go forth, Jesus shall go forth, 00:31:09.309 --> 00:31:12.329 suffering pains and afflictions and temptations 00:31:12.329 --> 00:31:15.250 of every kind. So pains and afflictions, even 00:31:15.250 --> 00:31:18.829 holding resentment and harboring pain and hatred 00:31:18.829 --> 00:31:21.789 and stuff like that. That can be one of those 00:31:21.789 --> 00:31:24.190 afflictions. That can be one of those, part of 00:31:24.190 --> 00:31:26.690 those pains, and it can be a temptation. So when 00:31:26.690 --> 00:31:29.390 we, I think it's so easy when we read these types 00:31:29.390 --> 00:31:32.089 of scriptures that we just dial in on, he died 00:31:32.089 --> 00:31:34.049 for my sins, he died for my sins, he died for 00:31:34.049 --> 00:31:35.930 my, and it's important that we know that and 00:31:35.930 --> 00:31:38.890 that he did that. But maybe above all things, 00:31:39.289 --> 00:31:41.410 and maybe not above all things, but it's extremely 00:31:41.410 --> 00:31:44.150 important, but also it's important that we understand. 00:31:44.650 --> 00:31:46.970 that he's interested in not just our sin but 00:31:46.970 --> 00:31:49.549 our pains and our afflictions and our temptations 00:31:49.549 --> 00:31:52.309 of every kind and this that the word might be 00:31:52.309 --> 00:31:54.710 fulfilled which saith that he take upon take 00:31:54.710 --> 00:31:58.329 a take upon him the pains and sicknesses of his 00:31:58.329 --> 00:32:00.630 people and he will take upon him death that he 00:32:00.630 --> 00:32:03.470 may loose the bands of death which bind his people 00:32:03.470 --> 00:32:07.029 and he will take upon him their infirmities that 00:32:07.029 --> 00:32:13.720 their bowels may be filled with mercy According 00:32:13.720 --> 00:32:16.039 to the flesh that he may know according to the 00:32:16.039 --> 00:32:20.140 flesh how to sucker his people according to their 00:32:20.140 --> 00:32:26.940 infirmities I think for sure that those who have 00:32:26.940 --> 00:32:30.400 perpetrated or or that's that seems kind of like 00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:34.119 such a legal word, but those who have Ended even 00:32:34.119 --> 00:32:36.339 offended me who have done things to me that have 00:32:36.339 --> 00:32:39.759 been an offense big big ones small ones even 00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:43.700 in between ones all of them that that those are 00:32:43.700 --> 00:32:48.119 infirmities that even Christ paid for. He died 00:32:48.119 --> 00:32:51.079 that I would be able to be even free from the 00:32:51.079 --> 00:32:55.079 bondage of that self -proclaiming story. Right, 00:32:55.240 --> 00:32:59.940 Dev? Absolutely. I mean, because it's so easy, 00:33:00.059 --> 00:33:02.180 and I don't ever want to sound like I'm perfect 00:33:02.180 --> 00:33:04.000 in this, because I'm definitely not. And I also 00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:06.819 don't ever want to sound like I don't understand 00:33:06.819 --> 00:33:11.019 when people find it extremely difficult to let 00:33:11.019 --> 00:33:17.059 go of resentments and so on. But I do know that 00:33:17.059 --> 00:33:20.819 when it happens, as miraculously as it may be 00:33:20.819 --> 00:33:24.680 for some people, that greater joy is rare to 00:33:24.680 --> 00:33:28.319 be found. It's true. Anywhere, right? It's true. 00:33:28.380 --> 00:33:32.599 Anywhere. It's true. You have a heart that changes. 00:33:33.380 --> 00:33:35.160 And, you know, there's things that I'm working 00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:40.059 on right now that, you know, we've recently had, 00:33:40.059 --> 00:33:45.000 you know, some things where I've had to literally 00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:48.519 let go of some resentments that I've had towards 00:33:48.519 --> 00:33:52.519 an individual that has, you know, pulled my family 00:33:52.519 --> 00:33:56.119 apart. In a lot of ways that's been really really 00:33:56.119 --> 00:33:59.519 really painful. I don't know I I know that I'm 00:33:59.519 --> 00:34:01.700 not the only one with challenges I know for a 00:34:01.700 --> 00:34:03.619 fact I'm not and I know that there's a lot of 00:34:03.619 --> 00:34:06.059 really hard things and big stories that are going 00:34:06.059 --> 00:34:09.760 on out there that are destroying families relationships 00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:13.800 and and hurting and harming and you know so many 00:34:13.800 --> 00:34:16.579 people but I love in that scripture when it says 00:34:16.579 --> 00:34:21.360 that he's taking on the Temptations and afflictions 00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:25.369 of every kind, every one of them. There's not 00:34:25.369 --> 00:34:28.429 one that's left out. I think about, you know, 00:34:28.530 --> 00:34:33.329 the moms of these, you know, perpetrators that 00:34:33.329 --> 00:34:36.170 murder or that go and do all of these things. 00:34:36.289 --> 00:34:39.289 How hard that must be as a mom or a wife or a 00:34:39.289 --> 00:34:42.590 sister or a friend of somebody that I would never 00:34:42.590 --> 00:34:47.659 have guessed that my son, friend, whatever. or 00:34:47.659 --> 00:34:51.099 daughter would ever do such a thing and what 00:34:51.099 --> 00:34:54.340 devastating, you know, like that, the mom of 00:34:54.340 --> 00:34:57.920 that murderer, how devastating that must be and 00:34:57.920 --> 00:35:01.559 that to carry that burden, but to know Christ 00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:05.500 suffered for that to every kind. And for those 00:35:05.500 --> 00:35:09.860 that were innocently murdered, you know, it's 00:35:09.860 --> 00:35:12.500 like, I just, I really can't comprehend it. And 00:35:12.500 --> 00:35:15.260 I know I keep repeating it. over and over, but 00:35:15.260 --> 00:35:20.039 it's so big for me to be able to comprehend. 00:35:20.300 --> 00:35:22.900 It's big, but it's important, right? It is so 00:35:22.900 --> 00:35:25.139 important. But it's big, and when it's big, it's 00:35:25.139 --> 00:35:27.199 not something that we should expect to be able 00:35:27.199 --> 00:35:29.980 to accomplish in a sitting or in a day or in 00:35:29.980 --> 00:35:32.860 a week or in a, I don't know, maybe even in a 00:35:32.860 --> 00:35:35.059 lifetime for some things, but it is something 00:35:35.059 --> 00:35:38.239 that as we turn to Him, I love that you said 00:35:38.239 --> 00:35:41.039 faith. How did you do it? I did it through faith. 00:35:41.380 --> 00:35:44.300 Faith is that relationship that you established 00:35:44.300 --> 00:35:46.980 that I have with my Savior, with my Heavenly 00:35:46.980 --> 00:35:49.619 Father, with the Holy Ghost. That's the kind 00:35:49.619 --> 00:35:53.179 of faith that allows, again, remember the administrator 00:35:53.179 --> 00:35:55.820 of the atonement of Jesus Christ is the Holy 00:35:55.820 --> 00:35:58.320 Ghost. So when I'm filling the Holy Ghost, I 00:35:58.320 --> 00:36:00.039 can know a lot of things. One of them is that 00:36:00.039 --> 00:36:02.199 I'm being forgiven of my sins, and that's important. 00:36:02.519 --> 00:36:05.619 The other one is that I can know that I am being 00:36:05.619 --> 00:36:09.019 tempered. To have my will be better aligned with 00:36:09.019 --> 00:36:11.539 his you know I've had situations where I've had 00:36:11.539 --> 00:36:15.460 to extend where I've had the opportunity to extend 00:36:15.460 --> 00:36:18.739 Forgiveness to others on some pretty deep painful 00:36:18.739 --> 00:36:24.280 stuff right and And what I found was in the beginning 00:36:24.280 --> 00:36:27.579 I couldn't even begin to pray for them for their 00:36:27.579 --> 00:36:30.320 forgiveness I couldn't even I couldn't even I 00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:35.469 had no desire to Reach out to forgive And that 00:36:35.469 --> 00:36:37.429 was really difficult for me because I knew I 00:36:37.429 --> 00:36:39.630 needed to be. I had read the Beatitudes. I knew 00:36:39.630 --> 00:36:42.289 Jesus Christ's life. I've read the Book of Mormon. 00:36:42.349 --> 00:36:46.050 I have a testimony. I understand a lot of things 00:36:46.050 --> 00:36:48.690 along those lines. But what I couldn't understand 00:36:48.690 --> 00:36:51.190 is why couldn't I just let it go? Why couldn't 00:36:51.190 --> 00:36:54.449 I just extend forgiveness? And I heard you saying 00:36:54.449 --> 00:36:56.110 stuff along these lines, and I'll bet you did 00:36:56.110 --> 00:36:59.710 the same thing. But for me, I had to pray for 00:36:59.710 --> 00:37:05.500 even the willingness to be I had to pray that 00:37:05.500 --> 00:37:07.599 my heart would be softened and I and you know 00:37:07.599 --> 00:37:09.699 what? I am thinking now as I'm saying this this 00:37:09.699 --> 00:37:12.219 has been on more than one occasion That I've 00:37:12.219 --> 00:37:14.679 had to do something along these lines, but I've 00:37:14.679 --> 00:37:18.519 had to pray for even just a willingness to forgive 00:37:18.519 --> 00:37:21.000 I don't think it's possible without faith. I 00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:23.920 really don't I really think it's impossible without 00:37:23.920 --> 00:37:27.440 faith because we're in we're in this world that 00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:30.300 our problems and challenges are bigger than us 00:37:30.300 --> 00:37:34.070 and That's by design. We're in a fallen state 00:37:34.070 --> 00:37:38.690 we're in a fallen world and we The thing of it 00:37:38.690 --> 00:37:41.710 is is we have to be saved. Well, we need a Savior 00:37:41.710 --> 00:37:43.929 We're talking about the doctrine of Christ in 00:37:43.929 --> 00:37:46.070 this podcast the first principles in ordinance 00:37:46.070 --> 00:37:48.769 of the gospel or first faith in the Lord Jesus 00:37:48.769 --> 00:37:52.469 Christ in the Lord Jesus Christ Second repentance 00:37:52.469 --> 00:37:55.610 which is turning to him faith in him now turn 00:37:55.610 --> 00:38:00.380 to him. Yeah. Yeah Right and and and develop 00:38:00.380 --> 00:38:02.460 and the interesting thing to me is those things 00:38:02.460 --> 00:38:06.039 are really one in the same because as I'm as 00:38:06.039 --> 00:38:09.420 I'm Learning to have faith in him. That is me 00:38:09.420 --> 00:38:12.860 turning to him. Yeah because I'm developing a 00:38:12.860 --> 00:38:14.559 relationship with him. And this is where, you 00:38:14.559 --> 00:38:16.800 know, we really begin to talk about faith and 00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:19.619 faith of power. There's a real power that comes 00:38:19.619 --> 00:38:23.559 from faith as we exercise faith, as we cultivate 00:38:23.559 --> 00:38:26.300 our faith in these types of things. You remember 00:38:26.300 --> 00:38:29.400 the story of Kori Tembu? Yeah, do you want to 00:38:29.400 --> 00:38:31.840 can you tell it or do you want me to tell it 00:38:31.840 --> 00:38:35.679 cuz I so I? Remember I don't think I'll have 00:38:35.679 --> 00:38:38.760 all of the details. I don't I could have crazy 00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:41.760 story I could have read it I guess in preparation, 00:38:41.880 --> 00:38:48.739 but it just anyway Corey Tim boom and her family, 00:38:48.739 --> 00:38:52.139 I think, but at least her sister were prisoners 00:38:52.139 --> 00:38:56.500 of war. I want to say, I'm not going to say, 00:38:56.599 --> 00:38:59.619 but in one of the big prisoner of war camps in 00:38:59.619 --> 00:39:02.400 Nazi Germany, she was Jewish. Her family was 00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:08.099 Jewish. They were there in one of the worst concentration 00:39:08.099 --> 00:39:12.300 camps in all of Germany. She survives it. difficult 00:39:12.300 --> 00:39:15.000 for her to survive it, but she survived it. Her 00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:18.519 sister didn't. Well, and that's the thing is 00:39:18.519 --> 00:39:23.639 she actually saw a guard kill her sister. And 00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:25.940 I don't know how it happened. I'm sure it was 00:39:25.940 --> 00:39:31.940 ugly. You know, this is evil at its lowest, at 00:39:31.940 --> 00:39:34.559 its darkest moments. You know, these people, 00:39:35.260 --> 00:39:39.289 these... people who are being exterminated by 00:39:39.289 --> 00:39:42.750 this hateful race of people and here's this big 00:39:42.750 --> 00:39:48.269 rough, gruff guard. And I can't even imagine 00:39:48.269 --> 00:39:51.170 it. I'm sure the unimaginable took place in those 00:39:51.170 --> 00:39:55.650 places, right? Anyway, many years goes by. Cory 00:39:55.650 --> 00:39:59.210 survives all of this. She just survives all of 00:39:59.210 --> 00:40:03.119 it. But she came out of this and she had an awakening 00:40:03.119 --> 00:40:06.840 She was in the process in my opinion is she was 00:40:06.840 --> 00:40:09.519 in a process of this awakening during the entire 00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:13.780 internment into these Concentration camps etc. 00:40:14.460 --> 00:40:17.260 But when she came comes out she becomes kind 00:40:17.260 --> 00:40:21.940 of inspirational loving type of I want to help 00:40:21.940 --> 00:40:26.480 people learn to motivation. Yeah, but I don't, 00:40:26.579 --> 00:40:28.800 when I say a motivational speaker, it almost 00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:31.239 cheapens what I think she did. You know what 00:40:31.239 --> 00:40:34.659 I mean? It was more than that. It was a life 00:40:34.659 --> 00:40:37.000 -changing, soul -changing type of experience. 00:40:37.260 --> 00:40:39.099 Anyway, one time she was asked to speak and she 00:40:39.099 --> 00:40:42.300 spoke. And when she got done with, when she got 00:40:42.300 --> 00:40:44.739 done speaking, she came down like she always 00:40:44.739 --> 00:40:47.039 did and shook hands with people in the audience. 00:40:47.619 --> 00:40:51.239 And she reaches out her hand and this man takes 00:40:51.239 --> 00:40:55.019 her hand. And it was the guard that killed her 00:40:55.019 --> 00:41:00.760 sister. Hatred, she said, just absolutely surged. 00:41:01.059 --> 00:41:03.960 Absolutely surged through her whole body. And 00:41:03.960 --> 00:41:07.380 then she said, in her mind, she said, and I do 00:41:07.380 --> 00:41:09.639 have this quote, she said, Jesus, I can't forgive 00:41:09.639 --> 00:41:15.739 him. Give me your forgiveness. Here she is. She's 00:41:15.739 --> 00:41:19.059 come face to face with the man that reaped hell. 00:41:20.030 --> 00:41:23.889 like untold on her family and killed her sister 00:41:23.889 --> 00:41:27.550 in front of her. And now she's face to face with 00:41:27.550 --> 00:41:31.989 him in a handclasp shaking his hand. She reaches, 00:41:32.389 --> 00:41:34.949 actually wasn't shaking hand, then she reaches 00:41:34.949 --> 00:41:40.030 out her hand and they shook hands. And I don't 00:41:40.030 --> 00:41:42.190 know how the rest of it went, but later she was 00:41:42.190 --> 00:41:45.369 questioned, so how did this forgiveness come? 00:41:45.469 --> 00:41:49.530 How were you able to find the power to forgive 00:41:49.530 --> 00:41:51.630 him? And she said that the power didn't come 00:41:51.630 --> 00:41:56.670 from her, but it came through her. And that's 00:41:56.670 --> 00:42:03.110 how it has to happen, I think. I think that's 00:42:03.110 --> 00:42:08.090 how it has to happen for me. For me, it's remembering 00:42:08.090 --> 00:42:14.050 my powerlessness. I'm literally powerless. And 00:42:14.050 --> 00:42:16.070 it's only through him that I have any power. 00:42:16.489 --> 00:42:19.690 Even my very breath, like literally my very breath 00:42:19.690 --> 00:42:25.789 is his, because of him. Deb and I came up with 00:42:25.789 --> 00:42:28.170 a few steps here. We don't normally do this, 00:42:28.210 --> 00:42:30.570 but this is something I think that as we kind 00:42:30.570 --> 00:42:35.599 of wrap up tonight that can be helpful. And these 00:42:35.599 --> 00:42:39.760 can be modified. Again, these are not doctrine. 00:42:40.139 --> 00:42:42.500 But when it comes to these kinds of things, we 00:42:42.500 --> 00:42:44.940 just sometimes, we just felt like maybe if we 00:42:44.940 --> 00:42:47.860 had a couple of things that we could use as anchors 00:42:47.860 --> 00:42:50.820 to kind of help prod us along, give us a pattern 00:42:50.820 --> 00:42:56.619 or something to use as we approach our efforts 00:42:56.619 --> 00:43:00.199 to forgive. I think, Deb, it's really important 00:43:00.199 --> 00:43:02.480 that the first thing that we do is we are honest 00:43:02.480 --> 00:43:05.260 about what's going on. about how we're hurting. 00:43:05.800 --> 00:43:07.880 I think we need to be honest about it. I don't 00:43:07.880 --> 00:43:10.079 think we should downplay it. I think that it's 00:43:10.079 --> 00:43:13.239 important. It is important that we acknowledge 00:43:13.239 --> 00:43:17.239 and name what it is that we're going through. 00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:23.300 Yeah, and then tell Christ exactly what the injustice 00:43:23.300 --> 00:43:26.579 was. Give him the facts. Don't clean it up. Just 00:43:26.579 --> 00:43:29.820 say, I was hurt. It was unfair. It's not right. 00:43:30.079 --> 00:43:33.460 I was doing, you know, whatever, but give him 00:43:33.460 --> 00:43:39.480 the facts. Why? I think for me... I mean, he 00:43:39.480 --> 00:43:42.679 already knows. Right, but I think for me, saying 00:43:42.679 --> 00:43:46.699 it out loud was healing, and writing it down 00:43:46.699 --> 00:43:51.079 was healing. I was able to get it out. Honestly, 00:43:51.460 --> 00:43:55.420 I'm a stuffer of feelings. I don't really express. 00:43:55.820 --> 00:43:59.599 lot of how I'm feeling I've I've learned to kind 00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:03.159 of just stuff it and When I start talking out 00:44:03.159 --> 00:44:05.940 loud a lot more things come out of my mouth Yeah 00:44:05.940 --> 00:44:08.900 for sure and then when I start writing down More 00:44:08.900 --> 00:44:10.880 emotions will come and more things will come 00:44:10.880 --> 00:44:13.579 out of my hand sometimes and even my mouth So 00:44:13.579 --> 00:44:16.860 I think I think it's important to tell Christ 00:44:16.860 --> 00:44:19.639 Exactly what the injustice was so number three 00:44:19.639 --> 00:44:22.400 would be and I mentioned this earlier Sometimes 00:44:22.400 --> 00:44:24.719 we just have to ask for the desire to forgive 00:44:25.150 --> 00:44:28.849 Not the forgiveness itself yet, but just the 00:44:28.849 --> 00:44:30.909 desire to forgive. Well, and just to go back 00:44:30.909 --> 00:44:32.650 to, you know, the beginning, we were talking 00:44:32.650 --> 00:44:35.190 about gratitude. We don't have the desire. Maybe 00:44:35.190 --> 00:44:37.510 try gratitude because it is the beginning. That's 00:44:37.510 --> 00:44:39.869 exactly right. Good point. The other thing is, 00:44:40.170 --> 00:44:43.070 is, you know, and we just said it, Cory 10 Boom. 00:44:43.420 --> 00:44:46.159 Lord, give me your forgiveness. I love that. 00:44:47.139 --> 00:44:51.699 She didn't ask for her to forgive. She asked, 00:44:51.800 --> 00:44:54.119 Lord, give me your forgiveness. Yeah, we know 00:44:54.119 --> 00:45:00.980 he's got it. And then invoke the atonement specifically, 00:45:01.320 --> 00:45:04.619 the atonement of Jesus Christ. Jesus, take this 00:45:04.619 --> 00:45:08.940 from me. You already suffered for it. You already 00:45:08.940 --> 00:45:12.769 bled drops of blood for this. Jesus, please take 00:45:12.769 --> 00:45:15.050 this from me. You know, just like, you know, 00:45:15.090 --> 00:45:18.030 when he said father. Right. You know, I think 00:45:18.030 --> 00:45:21.309 about that when he just prayed more earnestly. 00:45:21.389 --> 00:45:24.449 Well, in the garden, in the garden, when he said 00:45:24.449 --> 00:45:29.750 Abba, right? That's a, the translation of Abba 00:45:29.750 --> 00:45:33.030 is way more intimate than father. It's more like 00:45:33.030 --> 00:45:36.670 daddy. Yeah. You know, yeah. And you're right, 00:45:36.789 --> 00:45:38.949 it's that kind of relationship that we need to. 00:45:39.010 --> 00:45:42.940 Yeah. to recognize and establish. Well, and not 00:45:42.940 --> 00:45:45.519 just have that relationship, but believe and 00:45:45.519 --> 00:45:51.960 trust that that relationship will heal. So number 00:45:51.960 --> 00:45:55.800 five is just be aware of the small, surprising 00:45:55.800 --> 00:45:57.980 little drops of compassion that are going to 00:45:57.980 --> 00:46:02.059 come. I go back to that text that I got. I feel 00:46:02.059 --> 00:46:05.739 myself being kinder almost instantly. today, 00:46:06.400 --> 00:46:09.380 you know. And again, that was because of gratitude. 00:46:09.739 --> 00:46:12.960 So this is all doing those things that allow 00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:15.239 the instruments of grace, the Holy Spirit, to 00:46:15.239 --> 00:46:18.280 be at work in our lives, babe. It seems so trite 00:46:18.280 --> 00:46:21.920 sometimes, and it's a lot harder than it sounds. 00:46:22.860 --> 00:46:27.460 Yeah. But man, it works. Yeah. And sometimes 00:46:27.460 --> 00:46:30.829 it is harder than it sounds. Yeah, you know, 00:46:30.909 --> 00:46:33.030 yeah, I mean this and I think there's layers 00:46:33.030 --> 00:46:36.309 of forgiveness too I think number six is forgive 00:46:36.309 --> 00:46:39.309 again when the resentment returns that is a big 00:46:39.309 --> 00:46:43.530 one for me because it's like It's but if it returns 00:46:43.530 --> 00:46:47.769 did you really forgive? Yeah, but yeah. Yeah, 00:46:48.090 --> 00:46:51.010 you did. Yeah, you did in that moment It's that 00:46:51.010 --> 00:46:54.250 it's that layering I and I always refer to it 00:46:54.250 --> 00:46:56.449 as an onion I know a lot of people do but the 00:46:56.449 --> 00:46:58.630 more you get to the core of it the more your 00:46:58.630 --> 00:47:02.630 eyes water It's hard. I mean, it's like it's 00:47:02.630 --> 00:47:05.829 it's a lot of emotion. And right now, sometimes 00:47:05.829 --> 00:47:08.550 just the outer layer needs to be pulled off and 00:47:08.550 --> 00:47:11.289 be forgiven. And then eventually I can go to 00:47:11.289 --> 00:47:13.190 the next layer into the next layer. But just 00:47:13.190 --> 00:47:16.510 be aware that the deeper you go into those layers, 00:47:17.090 --> 00:47:19.570 the more tears come out and the more cleansing 00:47:19.570 --> 00:47:23.480 that happens and the more And the more full of 00:47:23.480 --> 00:47:25.960 the spirit we are because of it. And that's where 00:47:25.960 --> 00:47:28.000 the healing and all that comes from. I know that 00:47:28.000 --> 00:47:31.599 God sometimes doesn't heal our heart. Sometimes 00:47:31.599 --> 00:47:35.880 He gives us a whole new heart. And we have to 00:47:35.880 --> 00:47:38.500 just realize that sometimes that heart work is 00:47:38.500 --> 00:47:41.119 hard and it's painful and it's uncomfortable. 00:47:41.739 --> 00:47:44.059 And just like I always say, no growing in the 00:47:44.059 --> 00:47:45.519 comfort zone, no comfort in the growing zone. 00:47:45.559 --> 00:47:49.199 If you're uncomfortable, you get to grow. It's 00:47:49.199 --> 00:47:51.699 like what do I get to learn from this experience? 00:47:52.280 --> 00:47:55.460 Because gosh dang it. It's hard. Yeah, it is 00:47:55.460 --> 00:47:59.320 Uncomfortable it is it is but if we think about 00:47:59.320 --> 00:48:02.400 some of our greatest times in our lives when 00:48:02.400 --> 00:48:05.960 we had some of the most Impactful things that 00:48:05.960 --> 00:48:09.179 have taught us some of our biggest lessons. It's 00:48:09.179 --> 00:48:11.960 when we're uncomfortable But I mean I may suggest 00:48:11.960 --> 00:48:14.340 this done. You say it's uncomfortable and you 00:48:14.340 --> 00:48:18.280 say it's hard and it is But what's harder? holding 00:48:18.280 --> 00:48:20.539 on to the resentment and living with the kinker 00:48:20.539 --> 00:48:25.099 or walking through and allowing Christ to heal 00:48:25.099 --> 00:48:28.480 us. I mean, it requires effort. And I realize 00:48:28.480 --> 00:48:30.840 that they're both work and they're totally different, 00:48:31.260 --> 00:48:33.539 work of a totally different kind, but the one 00:48:33.539 --> 00:48:36.739 work cleanses us, the other work. Creates even 00:48:36.739 --> 00:48:39.559 greater distance not between just us and the 00:48:39.559 --> 00:48:42.860 spirit Which disallows me to have the fullness 00:48:42.860 --> 00:48:46.300 of joy that I'm seeking in my life But also it 00:48:46.300 --> 00:48:48.760 creates a distance between me and others because 00:48:48.760 --> 00:48:51.500 there's a callousness that comes about from that 00:48:51.500 --> 00:48:56.260 It's true and it causes dis ease in us No doubt. 00:48:56.300 --> 00:48:59.480 No, I mean we're not gonna have desire. We're 00:48:59.480 --> 00:49:02.219 not gonna have Gratitude we're just it's gonna 00:49:02.219 --> 00:49:05.000 be very very uncomfortable and I've been there 00:49:05.000 --> 00:49:07.630 too I mean the thing of it is, is I know what 00:49:07.630 --> 00:49:10.690 both feels like and I know which one I prefer, 00:49:11.190 --> 00:49:13.250 but it took me a lot of years to figure that 00:49:13.250 --> 00:49:17.860 out and to remember that. This is a big topic 00:49:17.860 --> 00:49:20.760 and it's one I think that it's really difficult 00:49:20.760 --> 00:49:24.480 to get to do justice to in a 45 minute or one 00:49:24.480 --> 00:49:28.099 hour podcast or In a talk from an apostle even 00:49:28.099 --> 00:49:31.440 or whatever. This is a life for me This has been 00:49:31.440 --> 00:49:33.699 and maybe I'm a little short here, but this has 00:49:33.699 --> 00:49:37.159 been a lifelong pursuit for me And when I say 00:49:37.159 --> 00:49:40.300 lifelong, as long as I have been aware of this, 00:49:40.340 --> 00:49:42.340 this hasn't been something that I've been trying 00:49:42.340 --> 00:49:45.239 to work on all my life. But since I got sober 00:49:45.239 --> 00:49:47.599 27 years ago, this has been an important part 00:49:47.599 --> 00:49:49.579 because I can't harbor resentments. Resentments 00:49:49.579 --> 00:49:53.199 will drive me back to my addiction. Resentments 00:49:53.199 --> 00:49:57.320 will drive us all back to participating in things 00:49:57.320 --> 00:49:59.980 that we don't like to participate in because 00:49:59.980 --> 00:50:03.780 it makes it so we can have the spirit in our 00:50:03.780 --> 00:50:07.960 life. And I need to have the spirit of my life. 00:50:08.460 --> 00:50:13.119 When I forgive somebody, forgiveness isn't saying 00:50:13.119 --> 00:50:16.219 that the past doesn't matter. It's not saying 00:50:16.219 --> 00:50:20.920 that. What it's saying is that Jesus Christ matters 00:50:20.920 --> 00:50:25.739 more. And as long as I remember what I'm told 00:50:25.739 --> 00:50:28.519 to do in section six of the Doctrine and Covenants 00:50:28.519 --> 00:50:31.780 and look unto him in every thought. Every thought. 00:50:32.010 --> 00:50:35.269 If he's constantly on my mind, if I'm thinking 00:50:35.269 --> 00:50:37.690 about him every day, if I'm making efforts every 00:50:37.690 --> 00:50:41.309 day to get him in my life so that I can have 00:50:41.309 --> 00:50:43.909 the spirit in my life, then this starts to work 00:50:43.909 --> 00:50:46.650 for me. And I don't know how. That's the miracle. 00:50:46.869 --> 00:50:50.590 That is the miracle. I don't know how. And I 00:50:50.590 --> 00:50:54.469 think that's the gift of partaking of the sacrament 00:50:54.469 --> 00:50:58.869 every week. That we have that promise that they 00:50:58.869 --> 00:51:03.050 may always Not sometimes but always have his 00:51:03.050 --> 00:51:06.789 spirit to be with them. I love that always I 00:51:06.789 --> 00:51:11.090 love the absolutes Yeah, I love those absolutes. 00:51:11.130 --> 00:51:15.230 Yeah. Yeah, I Mean, it's like I always I want 00:51:15.230 --> 00:51:18.690 his spirit to be with me always I just want to 00:51:18.690 --> 00:51:21.070 align with him and have that relationship with 00:51:21.070 --> 00:51:26.179 him so that I can find and feel peace I don't 00:51:26.179 --> 00:51:30.739 know who it is among us that is struggling, but 00:51:30.739 --> 00:51:33.800 surely it's some of us. And maybe it's all of 00:51:33.800 --> 00:51:36.900 us to some degree. This seems to be a pretty 00:51:36.900 --> 00:51:39.599 ubiquitous experience in the human experiences, 00:51:40.440 --> 00:51:44.000 having resentment, having offenses, and so on. 00:51:44.300 --> 00:51:47.519 And so, you know, maybe we could just encourage 00:51:47.519 --> 00:51:50.159 each of our listeners. this week to just think 00:51:50.159 --> 00:51:52.860 of one person that they're still holding and 00:51:52.860 --> 00:51:55.440 holding maybe I'm going to put it this way that 00:51:55.440 --> 00:51:59.460 they're holding emotional hostage. They're holding 00:51:59.460 --> 00:52:03.239 them emotional hostage. And maybe we could just 00:52:03.239 --> 00:52:07.400 ask Heavenly Father through Jesus and by the 00:52:07.400 --> 00:52:10.239 power of Jesus and through the Holy Ghost for 00:52:10.239 --> 00:52:12.980 the desire to forgive. Not force it, but just 00:52:12.980 --> 00:52:15.780 maybe throw it out there. And use His forgiveness. 00:52:16.000 --> 00:52:17.699 And if you don't think you're ready, maybe pray 00:52:17.699 --> 00:52:21.909 to be ready. bring a desire to him, and he will 00:52:21.909 --> 00:52:24.889 consecrate it. I promise that every time we do 00:52:24.889 --> 00:52:29.630 that, eventually we do receive spiritual relief 00:52:29.630 --> 00:52:31.849 through him. He doesn't solve all the problems, 00:52:32.449 --> 00:52:37.269 but we do receive spiritual relief as we try 00:52:37.269 --> 00:52:39.929 to put in, I'm just gonna call them steps, but 00:52:39.929 --> 00:52:43.130 those six things into place, we do begin to fill 00:52:43.130 --> 00:52:48.239 them. Anyway, Glad you're all with us today. 00:52:48.639 --> 00:52:50.360 Thanks for being there wherever you are. However, 00:52:50.400 --> 00:52:52.380 you're feeling we hope you feel welcome here 00:52:52.380 --> 00:52:54.820 You know Jesus like we always say this but he's 00:52:54.820 --> 00:52:57.159 not waiting for you to clean everything up before 00:52:57.159 --> 00:52:59.420 you come to him He just wants a little bit of 00:52:59.420 --> 00:53:04.019 effort from us. Yep He meets us in our mess and 00:53:04.019 --> 00:53:07.119 we all have mess We're in this fallen world. 00:53:07.119 --> 00:53:09.800 He meets us in our fall. That's where his grace 00:53:09.800 --> 00:53:12.760 shines the brightest. So come as you are Broken 00:53:12.760 --> 00:53:16.699 torn battered hopeful questioning searching you 00:53:16.699 --> 00:53:19.119 truly are not alone and thanks for being with 00:53:19.119 --> 00:53:24.119 us so that we don't feel alone Again if you if 00:53:24.119 --> 00:53:26.260 you have any questions, we'd love to stay connected 00:53:26.260 --> 00:53:29.840 But if you have any questions or comments or 00:53:29.840 --> 00:53:32.460 a topic you'd like us to address or anything 00:53:32.460 --> 00:53:34.300 along those lines Please don't hesitate to reach 00:53:34.300 --> 00:53:38.000 out to us Thank you to those who have and do 00:53:38.000 --> 00:53:42.960 but that email is he redeems us at gmail .com 00:53:42.960 --> 00:53:46.679 And if this episode touched your heart or you 00:53:46.679 --> 00:53:48.840 would like to share it with someone you love 00:53:48.840 --> 00:53:51.159 or care about a friend a family member Anyone 00:53:51.159 --> 00:53:53.599 who could use a little more hope right now and 00:53:53.599 --> 00:53:56.460 or maybe a reminder about forgiveness We all 00:53:56.460 --> 00:54:01.449 could use that reminder including me Even you. 00:54:01.789 --> 00:54:03.949 Especially me. That's not probably true, but 00:54:03.949 --> 00:54:05.750 next week we're gonna talk more about how the 00:54:05.750 --> 00:54:08.929 Savior doesn't just redeem us, He heals us, He 00:54:08.929 --> 00:54:12.309 lifts us, He transforms us, and He does it in 00:54:12.309 --> 00:54:15.449 our everyday lives. Thank you, friends, for being 00:54:15.449 --> 00:54:18.010 with us. We love you, and remember, there is 00:54:18.010 --> 00:54:20.989 always hope through Him, because you have been 00:54:20.989 --> 00:54:23.230 redeemed through His blood. Thanks, everybody. 00:54:23.550 --> 00:54:24.250 See you next time.