WEBVTT 00:00:14.639 --> 00:00:17.199 Hey there, everybody. Welcome out to another 00:00:17.199 --> 00:00:20.039 episode of Redeemed Through His Blood. This is 00:00:20.039 --> 00:00:24.120 Scott Durfey. And as always, I'm joined by the 00:00:24.120 --> 00:00:28.579 beautiful, the lovely Debra Durfey. Hi, everyone. 00:00:28.579 --> 00:00:31.620 Hi, babe. How are you? Thanks for pushing play 00:00:31.620 --> 00:00:33.780 and being with us. Yeah. Thanks for pushing play. 00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:36.460 That's right. It's been a minute since again, 00:00:36.679 --> 00:00:38.799 this is just kind of our pace. It's just, we 00:00:38.799 --> 00:00:42.600 can't give excuses. They're lame. Yeah. But we 00:00:42.600 --> 00:00:47.340 are busy, busier than, yeah, busier than we probably 00:00:47.340 --> 00:00:49.899 would like to, you know, I probably shouldn't 00:00:49.899 --> 00:00:53.280 say that, you know, we're busy and we've been 00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:57.500 called to the busyness. of a lot of this busyness 00:00:57.500 --> 00:01:01.000 that we're involved in. Everybody's busy right 00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:02.820 now. I don't know anybody who's not overwhelmed 00:01:02.820 --> 00:01:05.480 and busy. Yeah, exactly. But we're using it as 00:01:05.480 --> 00:01:09.060 an excuse and it is actually a condition, not 00:01:09.060 --> 00:01:12.219 an excuse that kind of prohibits us from getting 00:01:12.219 --> 00:01:14.840 these out every six or seven days. So thanks 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:18.719 for being patient with our pace. I don't know, 00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:21.000 Deb. Honestly, over the last few weeks, there 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:23.640 are times when I'm like, do we even keep doing 00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:29.930 this podcast? Because we just, I get so beat 00:01:29.930 --> 00:01:32.670 down and so tired. So everything that's going 00:01:32.670 --> 00:01:35.450 on sometimes, but you know what happens when 00:01:35.450 --> 00:01:38.170 I sit down and I look at you sitting there in 00:01:38.170 --> 00:01:42.189 my chair. Do you realize that I've never recorded 00:01:42.189 --> 00:01:44.930 a podcast from my chair? Cause David sat there 00:01:44.930 --> 00:01:47.549 the entire first three years and now you're there, 00:01:47.769 --> 00:01:50.170 but that's just goes to show my love for you 00:01:50.170 --> 00:01:52.980 and him. Apparently. There you go. Yeah. But, 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:54.620 uh, I can't remember what I was going to say 00:01:54.620 --> 00:01:56.859 about all that now. So you didn't, you didn't 00:01:56.859 --> 00:01:59.859 want to, you thought about not doing it. Yeah. 00:01:59.859 --> 00:02:01.439 Yeah. Yeah. And then I sit down here and I look 00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:04.280 at you and just, you know, we begin each one 00:02:04.280 --> 00:02:07.579 of these with prayer and it just seems like I 00:02:07.579 --> 00:02:10.419 get a kind of a, a little bit of energy. And 00:02:10.419 --> 00:02:12.240 then we talked to some of our friends or we'll 00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:15.770 get an email of encouragement and You know what, 00:02:15.849 --> 00:02:18.409 gang, boy, those things sure go a long way, so 00:02:18.409 --> 00:02:22.310 thank you for those and keep them coming. You'll 00:02:22.310 --> 00:02:25.449 notice too, just by way of kind of the little 00:02:25.449 --> 00:02:27.669 housekeeping stuff there before we get rolling, 00:02:28.169 --> 00:02:30.669 you'll notice too that we have kind of moved 00:02:30.669 --> 00:02:34.689 away from teaching the class like we do an institute, 00:02:34.909 --> 00:02:37.949 the divine gift of forgiveness. We have three 00:02:37.949 --> 00:02:41.710 full seasons of that and we have just found it 00:02:41.710 --> 00:02:46.500 dauntingly difficult to try and match those institute 00:02:46.500 --> 00:02:51.020 classes that we had from the creator of the class, 00:02:51.319 --> 00:02:54.639 Dave, right? It's just different. And Deb and 00:02:54.639 --> 00:02:58.139 I have decided that that's not our forte. Our 00:02:58.139 --> 00:03:01.819 forte is experiencing. We have a lot of stories. 00:03:02.099 --> 00:03:04.879 The effects of the things that we learn in that 00:03:04.879 --> 00:03:07.099 book. And so that's kind of what we've been doing 00:03:07.099 --> 00:03:10.319 here is we've been kind of keeping it in line 00:03:10.319 --> 00:03:12.340 with the things that we would be talking about 00:03:12.340 --> 00:03:14.469 there. but we've been doing it from a little 00:03:14.469 --> 00:03:18.990 bit different position, if you will. Anyway. 00:03:19.810 --> 00:03:23.349 It makes it a little bit less intimidating because 00:03:23.349 --> 00:03:26.469 sitting in David's chair and putting on a David 00:03:26.469 --> 00:03:30.629 hat was just absolutely impossible for me. Like 00:03:30.629 --> 00:03:34.610 I said in the beginning, I'm more on the primary 00:03:34.610 --> 00:03:38.250 stage of things. It's like, keep me with the 00:03:38.250 --> 00:03:41.819 kids. Let me just play and sing. with the kids 00:03:41.819 --> 00:03:44.219 and I'm, I'm good to go. So you put me in the 00:03:44.219 --> 00:03:47.960 gospel doctrine stuff and the, that rich, you 00:03:47.960 --> 00:03:49.960 know what, go back to episode one, two, three, 00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:52.939 or not episode season one, two and three, but 00:03:52.939 --> 00:03:54.979 you're going to hear a lot of stories because 00:03:54.979 --> 00:03:58.659 I feel like we're two people that like to learn 00:03:58.659 --> 00:04:03.020 with, if you say don't do it, we want to go figure 00:04:03.020 --> 00:04:05.159 out why we're not supposed to do it. So it's 00:04:05.159 --> 00:04:08.080 the universal two by fours that we, we had to 00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:11.219 go experience life. the hard way. Yeah, but you 00:04:11.219 --> 00:04:14.719 said that like it was current way. It's no longer 00:04:14.719 --> 00:04:17.360 that way. No, we're choosing out. That's why. 00:04:17.660 --> 00:04:20.100 At least that's our intention. A hundred percent. 00:04:20.360 --> 00:04:23.220 I'm not sure we're a hundred percent. I don't 00:04:23.220 --> 00:04:25.259 think we accomplish it a hundred percent of the 00:04:25.259 --> 00:04:28.139 time that way, but that's how it is. Yeah, we've 00:04:28.139 --> 00:04:31.379 just been through a lot of things and have had 00:04:31.379 --> 00:04:34.420 the opportunity to see the Atonement work in 00:04:34.420 --> 00:04:38.339 our lives and see the doctrine that has been 00:04:38.339 --> 00:04:41.860 spoken in you know, in these podcasts that come 00:04:41.860 --> 00:04:44.980 alive in, in our lives. And we have experiences, 00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:48.680 we have strength and we have hope to share with 00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:52.220 whoever is willing to listen because this, you 00:04:52.220 --> 00:04:54.379 know, if I always say I'm a been there, done 00:04:54.379 --> 00:04:57.160 that. And I hate that I, I have been there, done 00:04:57.160 --> 00:05:00.300 that, but I am so grateful because it's, you 00:05:00.300 --> 00:05:02.519 know, like when some, when somebody comes to 00:05:02.519 --> 00:05:05.360 me and tells me something, I'm like, Oh, I've 00:05:05.360 --> 00:05:08.040 had that. Oh, I experienced that. I have pictures 00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:12.439 to go with those words. And it's, it's not a 00:05:12.439 --> 00:05:15.579 proud thing. It's a, I understand and I get you. 00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:18.420 And I think for me, when I, when I was going 00:05:18.420 --> 00:05:20.139 through some of my hard things, I thought I was 00:05:20.139 --> 00:05:23.180 all by myself. And I remember going into the 00:05:23.180 --> 00:05:26.319 meetings of recovery and even into, you know, 00:05:26.420 --> 00:05:30.779 the meetings for single girls that were pregnant 00:05:30.779 --> 00:05:33.230 in high school. going in there and thinking, 00:05:33.490 --> 00:05:35.709 oh, wow, look at that. I'm not alone. And so 00:05:35.709 --> 00:05:40.149 I got to find, you know, somebody familiar or 00:05:40.149 --> 00:05:43.129 similar that can relate to me. So I didn't feel 00:05:43.129 --> 00:05:47.569 so isolated on my island of sin and regret or 00:05:47.569 --> 00:05:52.629 whatever. A fallenness. I felt really good. Before 00:05:52.629 --> 00:05:55.350 we get into much more of that, I have a couple 00:05:55.350 --> 00:05:59.730 of observations I want to share with you, Deb. 00:06:00.639 --> 00:06:02.439 our listeners, but I can share them with you 00:06:02.439 --> 00:06:04.139 too, if you want to listen in. Oh, I'm a good 00:06:04.139 --> 00:06:09.860 listener. We were driving home tonight. We're 00:06:09.860 --> 00:06:12.699 trying to turn over a new leaf here and not eat 00:06:12.699 --> 00:06:16.800 out as much. We both work and live such crazy, 00:06:16.839 --> 00:06:20.660 busy lives. We've been talking about this. We 00:06:20.660 --> 00:06:23.779 went grocery shopping the other day and we bought 00:06:23.779 --> 00:06:27.259 stuff to make dinners with. Earlier today, I 00:06:27.259 --> 00:06:29.379 was telling Deb, hey, I have to do a YouTube 00:06:29.379 --> 00:06:33.529 video for work. We had four thousand some odd 00:06:33.529 --> 00:06:36.250 people or something like that that came to it 00:06:36.250 --> 00:06:38.949 and and all the preparation that was involved 00:06:38.949 --> 00:06:41.810 with that. But prior to talking to her or prior 00:06:41.810 --> 00:06:43.930 to that, I was talking to her and she's like, 00:06:43.930 --> 00:06:45.970 maybe we'll just go get a sandwich after work 00:06:45.970 --> 00:06:48.689 today. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, we're good. 00:06:48.790 --> 00:06:50.829 We can we can fix something at home. I'll figure 00:06:50.829 --> 00:06:55.449 it out. As soon as that event I did ended, I 00:06:55.449 --> 00:06:57.490 send her a text. I says, I think we need to go 00:06:57.490 --> 00:07:02.660 get food. Yeah, that's okay. We're on the road. 00:07:02.860 --> 00:07:04.100 Our groceries are still in our fridge and in 00:07:04.100 --> 00:07:06.459 our pantry. And that really has nothing to do 00:07:06.459 --> 00:07:08.540 with what I wanted to talk about, but we're driving 00:07:08.540 --> 00:07:11.959 home from there, and we're headed east towards 00:07:11.959 --> 00:07:14.399 our home. We live near the mouth of Provo Canyon 00:07:14.399 --> 00:07:17.720 here in Orham, Utah. And right in front of us, 00:07:17.740 --> 00:07:20.800 we have a beautiful sunset, I think, behind us. 00:07:20.879 --> 00:07:22.639 And then right in front of us, we have the most 00:07:22.639 --> 00:07:26.459 beautiful view of Cascade Mountain, all lit up, 00:07:26.459 --> 00:07:29.930 you know. some fall foliage left. We've had a 00:07:29.930 --> 00:07:33.889 lot of snow on those mountains. And then just 00:07:33.889 --> 00:07:37.750 to the north of that big, beautiful, Tempanogos 00:07:37.750 --> 00:07:41.250 mountain. There's some sacredness to this area 00:07:41.250 --> 00:07:45.009 for me. To those mountains specifically, I've 00:07:45.009 --> 00:07:47.949 spent so much of my life on those mountains on 00:07:47.949 --> 00:07:52.069 horseback. So much of my testimony with my dad, 00:07:52.569 --> 00:07:55.730 my grandpa Fag, grandpa Durfee, and uncles that 00:07:55.730 --> 00:08:03.930 I've ridden with. and others. Yesterday in Gospel 00:08:03.930 --> 00:08:07.389 Doctrine, we talked a little bit about instruments 00:08:07.389 --> 00:08:12.649 of grace. We've talked about this before, and 00:08:12.649 --> 00:08:15.430 let me just say this too, Canyonview Seventh 00:08:15.430 --> 00:08:20.290 Ward is the celestial ward church. I mean, it 00:08:20.290 --> 00:08:24.829 just is. I am so grateful for our ward family. 00:08:26.049 --> 00:08:28.269 But I had an opportunity to teach gospel doctrine 00:08:28.269 --> 00:08:29.829 yesterday, and while we're talking. Stop for 00:08:29.829 --> 00:08:32.250 a second. You were talking about the mountain. 00:08:32.330 --> 00:08:34.909 I'll get there. Sorry. Yeah, I'll get there. 00:08:35.250 --> 00:08:37.730 And we're talking about instruments of grace 00:08:37.730 --> 00:08:41.990 in this class. And what that is to me, any time 00:08:41.990 --> 00:08:45.669 I have an experience where I feel the Holy Ghost, 00:08:45.809 --> 00:08:48.169 when I feel the presence of the Spirit of the 00:08:48.169 --> 00:08:51.759 Heavenly Father with me, And I can fill those 00:08:51.759 --> 00:08:53.919 in a lot of places. And whenever I fill those 00:08:53.919 --> 00:08:55.919 and whenever that's happening, I call that an 00:08:55.919 --> 00:08:58.139 instrument of grace. Why an instrument of grace? 00:08:58.179 --> 00:09:01.379 Because that's the instrument by which I'm filling 00:09:01.379 --> 00:09:03.480 the grace of the Atonement that worked in my 00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:05.559 life through the Spirit of the Holy Ghost. And 00:09:05.559 --> 00:09:09.419 when I see that mountain, and Cascade Mountain, 00:09:09.659 --> 00:09:12.679 and Timpanogos Mountain, regardless of how they 00:09:12.679 --> 00:09:16.620 look, they're always so beautiful. And it just 00:09:16.620 --> 00:09:20.440 conjures up that sacred memory. for me and creates 00:09:20.440 --> 00:09:23.139 an instrument of grace. We talked about that 00:09:23.139 --> 00:09:27.240 in Gospel Doctrine a lot yesterday when we were 00:09:27.240 --> 00:09:29.200 driving home, and I saw that in front of us. 00:09:31.700 --> 00:09:38.240 I just wanted that out. And then this past weekend, 00:09:40.519 --> 00:09:46.000 Friday, we had a little family holiday, a little 00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:49.600 something that we commemorate each year. another 00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:53.740 instrument of grace that holds extreme sacredness 00:09:53.740 --> 00:09:59.759 to you and through you to me. We got to celebrate 00:09:59.759 --> 00:10:04.919 what we call Grammy Day. May it be Grammy Day. 00:10:05.340 --> 00:10:08.500 October 17th every year. October 17th every year 00:10:08.500 --> 00:10:11.559 is what we commemorate as Grammy Day. That's 00:10:11.559 --> 00:10:16.519 a day that we celebrate, Deb, and we do it. That's 00:10:16.519 --> 00:10:19.590 a day Deb, that you gave birth to your first 00:10:19.590 --> 00:10:22.669 baby. Yep. The one that you placed for adoption. 00:10:23.590 --> 00:10:26.389 The one that we've interviewed you about in seasons 00:10:26.389 --> 00:10:30.769 past. I want to talk about that a little bit. 00:10:31.269 --> 00:10:33.889 I'm catching you off guard with this. I realize 00:10:33.889 --> 00:10:36.809 that to a degree. To a degree, I'm catching you 00:10:36.809 --> 00:10:38.509 off guard with this. I realize that. But you 00:10:38.509 --> 00:10:43.769 know what, honey? We have your interview in season. 00:10:44.789 --> 00:10:47.769 One, I think, and we've replayed it every single 00:10:47.769 --> 00:10:50.389 season. You were one of the first interviews 00:10:50.389 --> 00:10:52.570 that we did. I think you may be the third or 00:10:52.570 --> 00:10:54.610 fourth interview that we did. We used to do more. 00:10:54.909 --> 00:10:57.269 We probably should consider doing more again. 00:10:57.309 --> 00:10:59.490 Talk about doing some with Nick and his wife. 00:11:00.789 --> 00:11:05.090 But the thing is, is I want to spend some time 00:11:05.090 --> 00:11:07.210 talking about that today. If it's okay with you, 00:11:07.230 --> 00:11:11.090 is that okay? Fine. Okay. So you want to kind 00:11:11.090 --> 00:11:14.480 of just tell us about why I declared a Grammy 00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:19.700 day. Yeah. Um, so every October 17th, well, I'll 00:11:19.700 --> 00:11:22.240 tell you this, I didn't realize I was experiencing 00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:25.799 grief until my dad passed, but every October 00:11:25.799 --> 00:11:27.940 17th would come around and the days would come 00:11:27.940 --> 00:11:30.360 and I'd get a little bit of angst. And some days 00:11:30.360 --> 00:11:33.879 were really, really rough. Some years were super 00:11:33.879 --> 00:11:37.679 rough, like her first birthday. And like, even 00:11:37.679 --> 00:11:41.299 I remember right after I had her one of the Sundays 00:11:41.299 --> 00:11:44.159 right after was a primary program. And I went 00:11:44.159 --> 00:11:48.279 in there and I just wept. I just came completely 00:11:48.279 --> 00:11:53.519 apart. And Mother's Day was pretty brutal. And 00:11:53.519 --> 00:11:57.759 so there were years of grief that I felt. And 00:11:57.759 --> 00:12:02.039 I remember the 17th and I remember the 21st because 00:12:02.039 --> 00:12:05.740 the 21st was the last day I saw her in 1985. 00:12:06.679 --> 00:12:11.320 This year commemorates the 40th year of um, her 00:12:11.320 --> 00:12:16.559 birthday. Um, but as, as years went on and I 00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:20.139 kept thinking, man, I, I have been so abundantly 00:12:20.139 --> 00:12:22.399 blessed because all I ever wanted to be when 00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:25.639 I grew up is a mom. And I always wanted more 00:12:25.639 --> 00:12:28.120 than three kids. I always wanted more kids, more 00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:32.639 kids. And so when I married you, I got four bonus 00:12:32.639 --> 00:12:36.080 kids and I was thrilled to have those four bonus 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:39.200 kids. And now these seven children together, 00:12:40.009 --> 00:12:42.490 have all started having children. And so when 00:12:42.490 --> 00:12:46.429 my oldest grandkid was born and it's that October 00:12:46.429 --> 00:12:49.529 season, I'm like, we are having a Grammy day 00:12:49.529 --> 00:12:52.769 on October 17th. This does not have to be a day 00:12:52.769 --> 00:12:57.269 of grief, a day of sorrow, a day of, of sadness, 00:12:57.269 --> 00:13:00.330 but something to look forward to and something 00:13:00.330 --> 00:13:05.610 to celebrate because what I, what my interpretation 00:13:05.610 --> 00:13:09.549 of this is I know it was God's work. I mean, 00:13:09.610 --> 00:13:13.830 at 17, 18 years old, I literally depended 100 00:13:13.830 --> 00:13:16.669 % on the Lord. There was not any human that walked 00:13:16.669 --> 00:13:18.870 this planet that had my answer, including myself. 00:13:19.590 --> 00:13:22.909 And I learned at a very young age to depend wholly 00:13:22.909 --> 00:13:26.889 on Him. And so I knew it was His work. But as 00:13:26.889 --> 00:13:30.590 I put this child out to the parents that she 00:13:30.590 --> 00:13:35.350 was supposed to be with in the first place, It 00:13:35.350 --> 00:13:38.190 has come back to me hundredfold. I mean, it's 00:13:38.190 --> 00:13:41.110 just, I get more grandbabies each year. I got 00:13:41.110 --> 00:13:45.289 to hold little, little Raumali. She's our youngest 00:13:45.289 --> 00:13:47.250 granddaughter right now. She's seven months old 00:13:47.250 --> 00:13:49.429 and she's just a little butterball. And I just 00:13:49.429 --> 00:13:52.590 chew on her cheeks and smell her head and just 00:13:52.590 --> 00:13:55.450 squeeze her fat little thighs. And I just love 00:13:55.450 --> 00:13:57.950 every single one of these kids. And I just think 00:13:57.950 --> 00:14:02.929 I gave one up. I gave one, which was one of the 00:14:02.929 --> 00:14:05.740 hardest things I've ever done. But I have been 00:14:05.740 --> 00:14:10.500 so abundantly blessed with all of my kids and 00:14:10.500 --> 00:14:14.460 my grandkids keep coming. We have 16 grandkids 00:14:14.460 --> 00:14:19.700 and 15 out of the 16 were there. And I, my heart 00:14:19.700 --> 00:14:23.779 is just overflowing with, with joy. And so it's, 00:14:23.879 --> 00:14:27.899 it's a, it's a celebration day. I don't care 00:14:27.899 --> 00:14:30.080 if my kids are my, well, my kids know, but I 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:33.240 don't care if my grandkids know that that's the 00:14:33.240 --> 00:14:37.159 reason we celebrate. But because I just feel 00:14:37.159 --> 00:14:40.700 like I have been so abundantly blessed because 00:14:40.700 --> 00:14:44.759 of that in and of itself. And so I've kind of 00:14:44.759 --> 00:14:47.120 rewritten that day. So it's not a day of sorrow 00:14:47.120 --> 00:14:51.000 or feel sorry for myself, but just a day to look 00:14:51.000 --> 00:14:55.820 forward to. And I get to just soak in every little 00:14:55.820 --> 00:14:58.720 spirit that comes around me. And I couldn't get 00:14:58.720 --> 00:15:01.840 enough of all of them. I trying to keep up with 00:15:01.840 --> 00:15:04.100 them was like herding cats and chasing cats. 00:15:04.330 --> 00:15:07.809 And we were, we took them to Heehaw, Pleasant 00:15:07.809 --> 00:15:10.149 Grove, which is a pumpkin patch. And they went 00:15:10.149 --> 00:15:12.690 down big slides and zip lines and held goats 00:15:12.690 --> 00:15:16.049 and saw little piglets and played in the corn 00:15:16.049 --> 00:15:21.070 and just there was water and train rides and 00:15:21.070 --> 00:15:23.309 just all kinds of stuff. And the older kids got 00:15:23.309 --> 00:15:25.889 together and they went to play and the younger 00:15:25.889 --> 00:15:28.809 kids kind of stayed close with their parents. 00:15:28.889 --> 00:15:32.149 And I wandered around just trying to find them 00:15:32.149 --> 00:15:36.230 all, which you can't. And we swing, sat on a 00:15:36.230 --> 00:15:39.129 swing for a little bit. And it was just, it was 00:15:39.129 --> 00:15:42.389 so delightful. And some years I have some kids, 00:15:42.429 --> 00:15:46.610 but this year I got all of them. Even people 00:15:46.610 --> 00:15:48.889 at work, you know, I told them I'm taking Friday 00:15:48.889 --> 00:15:51.309 off. It's Grammy day. And I explained to them 00:15:51.309 --> 00:15:54.769 what Grammy day was. And so today, even, you 00:15:54.769 --> 00:15:56.470 know, when I was at work, they were saying, Hey, 00:15:56.549 --> 00:15:59.149 tell us about Grammy day. How was it? And I had 00:15:59.149 --> 00:16:02.090 some, you know, pictures that I could share and 00:16:02.320 --> 00:16:05.320 I just, I'm a typical grandma. I hate to show 00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:07.379 pictures and look how cute my grandkids are. 00:16:07.399 --> 00:16:09.539 There's nothing typical about you. That's for 00:16:09.539 --> 00:16:11.879 sure. You know, as you're going through all of 00:16:11.879 --> 00:16:16.240 this, you've shared even in this season, bits 00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:18.639 and pieces of that story. You know, you've shared 00:16:18.639 --> 00:16:23.139 about the shaming and about the, when you were 00:16:23.139 --> 00:16:27.740 pregnant at 17, how you were invited to go live 00:16:27.740 --> 00:16:31.000 somewhere else for a while. You shared about 00:16:31.000 --> 00:16:33.539 how when you would come home, it would have to 00:16:33.539 --> 00:16:36.740 be dark and in the back door so the neighbors 00:16:36.740 --> 00:16:40.879 wouldn't see you. And you shared about how a 00:16:40.879 --> 00:16:43.799 bishop dropped his head in his hands when you 00:16:43.799 --> 00:16:46.480 told him about it and he's just like, oh no, 00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:49.179 you know, or whatever. And all of that has been 00:16:49.179 --> 00:16:52.480 made right. There's no judgment in any of that 00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:57.679 towards any of them from you at least. And I 00:16:57.679 --> 00:16:59.899 appreciate and love that and know that that is 00:16:59.899 --> 00:17:04.529 only available to you and to them through Christ's 00:17:04.529 --> 00:17:08.390 atonement too. But you know, you are, and many 00:17:08.390 --> 00:17:12.809 of us are, but this story that you share is what 00:17:12.809 --> 00:17:16.349 Isaiah is referring to in Isaiah 61 verse 3. 00:17:16.349 --> 00:17:19.309 He says, To appoint unto them that morning Zion, 00:17:19.769 --> 00:17:25.410 to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of 00:17:25.410 --> 00:17:29.430 joy for morning. the garment of praise for the 00:17:29.430 --> 00:17:32.869 spirit of heaviness, that they might be called 00:17:32.869 --> 00:17:36.269 trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, 00:17:36.690 --> 00:17:43.250 that he might be glorified. So through your experience, 00:17:43.369 --> 00:17:45.910 through the turmoil, through the hell, through 00:17:45.910 --> 00:17:48.309 the sadness, through the shaming, through all 00:17:48.309 --> 00:17:50.170 that entire process, because at the beginning 00:17:50.170 --> 00:17:52.910 of the process, it looks nothing like it does 00:17:52.910 --> 00:17:54.809 in this part of the process, and we know we're 00:17:54.809 --> 00:17:57.509 still in process, but It looks nothing like this. 00:17:57.710 --> 00:18:01.789 In fact, it's a stark contrast. The beginning 00:18:01.789 --> 00:18:05.750 of this process is a stark contrast. There are 00:18:05.750 --> 00:18:07.890 some things that are similar. There are some 00:18:07.890 --> 00:18:12.609 things that are in both of the beginning and 00:18:12.609 --> 00:18:14.930 the end process. In the beginning, you were very 00:18:14.930 --> 00:18:17.569 much relying on your Heavenly Father. You were 00:18:17.569 --> 00:18:19.930 very dependent on the promptings of the Holy 00:18:19.930 --> 00:18:24.250 Ghost. You were very much under the realization, 00:18:24.509 --> 00:18:27.160 complete realization, Yeah, you just here said 00:18:27.160 --> 00:18:29.500 it tonight. I didn't have any answers. No human 00:18:29.500 --> 00:18:33.160 had answered. And you gave - It was bigger than 00:18:33.160 --> 00:18:36.299 anyone. And so you gave yourself to him to help 00:18:36.299 --> 00:18:40.500 you through that. And that process, as we have 00:18:40.500 --> 00:18:42.940 been talking about the atonement of Jesus Christ, 00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:45.740 the process you're talking about is really the 00:18:45.740 --> 00:18:49.559 enabling, and the others are there too, the compensatory 00:18:49.559 --> 00:18:52.940 and redeeming blessings of the Christ's atonement 00:18:52.940 --> 00:18:55.420 are definitely alive and well in this story. 00:18:55.980 --> 00:18:58.980 But when I hear this story tonight and when I've 00:18:58.980 --> 00:19:05.240 been considering it, man, I was there and I wiped 00:19:05.240 --> 00:19:09.200 tears from my eyes on many occasions Friday as 00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:13.420 I saw your joy and as I saw the joy of our grandchildren 00:19:13.420 --> 00:19:17.059 who are living such secure lives and have so 00:19:17.059 --> 00:19:22.660 much happiness and just hoping, hoping even beyond 00:19:22.660 --> 00:19:25.960 hope probably, that all children will have that 00:19:25.900 --> 00:19:28.200 blessing and an opportunity in their life to 00:19:28.200 --> 00:19:32.799 have a mom, a grandma, a adopted grandma or adopted 00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:38.200 mom like you. Because you have a child that you 00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:40.420 have placed for an adoption. But Deb, in the 00:19:40.420 --> 00:19:44.140 23 years I've known you, I have seen so many 00:19:44.140 --> 00:19:47.680 unofficial adoptions of you towards other people. 00:19:47.799 --> 00:19:50.339 We have Meg up the street. We have Kiara who 00:19:50.339 --> 00:19:55.859 we love like our own. Jimmy and McKenna. And 00:19:55.859 --> 00:19:59.839 we could go on and on and on. Do you remember 00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:01.900 when President Nelson said, if you need a grandpa, 00:20:02.220 --> 00:20:05.119 just let me know. I feel like I've, I think that's 00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:09.000 how we are. I'll take them all. I, even at Institute, 00:20:09.400 --> 00:20:11.359 I wish I could just gather you up and take y 00:20:11.359 --> 00:20:13.359 'all home. I'm not going to call myself their 00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:16.579 grandpa yet, but maybe in another five or 10 00:20:16.579 --> 00:20:18.500 years, that would definitely be appropriate. 00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:21.640 Beauty for ashes, Deb. Beauty for ashes through 00:20:21.640 --> 00:20:23.980 the atonement of Jesus Christ, through the enabling 00:20:23.980 --> 00:20:26.599 and strengthening blessings of the atonement 00:20:26.599 --> 00:20:28.799 of Jesus Christ. Talk to me about that. How's 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:32.980 that manifested itself for you? As a 17 -year 00:20:32.980 --> 00:20:37.279 -old girl, I felt pretty broken. I felt pretty 00:20:37.279 --> 00:20:42.099 low. And it took years. I mean, we're crying 00:20:42.099 --> 00:20:44.019 out loud. I told you it's 40 years. I don't know 00:20:44.019 --> 00:20:45.940 that I'm old enough, but now you all know my 00:20:45.940 --> 00:20:51.430 age. I did have her when I was 18 years old. 00:20:52.250 --> 00:21:00.329 And I look at the young 18 year old Deb. It had 00:21:00.329 --> 00:21:02.970 no idea what her future looked like, but I just 00:21:02.970 --> 00:21:06.710 knew. I knew it and I knew God knew it, that 00:21:06.710 --> 00:21:10.730 that baby was not to be with me. And I knew I 00:21:10.730 --> 00:21:15.089 was an instrument to get that baby here and to 00:21:15.089 --> 00:21:18.650 get her to her family. I have friends that have 00:21:18.650 --> 00:21:22.369 placed babies for adoption and I know I knew 00:21:22.369 --> 00:21:25.630 of a lot of girls that did open adoption. This 00:21:25.630 --> 00:21:29.269 was a closed adoption. I have not seen nor heard. 00:21:29.349 --> 00:21:33.710 I have a little book of pictures of her and the 00:21:33.710 --> 00:21:36.609 days that I spent with her, I had her C -section 00:21:36.609 --> 00:21:39.730 and I slept with her for five days on my belly 00:21:39.730 --> 00:21:42.329 and the nurses there made bets that I wouldn't 00:21:42.329 --> 00:21:44.630 place her, but I knew it and I knew God knew 00:21:44.630 --> 00:21:47.990 it and She needed to be with that family and 00:21:47.990 --> 00:21:52.269 clearly she's content. She's happy. She's with 00:21:52.269 --> 00:21:54.750 her eternal family where she needs to be. But 00:21:54.750 --> 00:21:57.210 it was, you know, for somebody that wanted to 00:21:57.210 --> 00:22:00.650 be a mom her whole life, that was probably, and 00:22:00.650 --> 00:22:06.730 God knew this, that I needed to learn and take 00:22:06.730 --> 00:22:11.349 that. I don't know if you would call that the 00:22:11.349 --> 00:22:15.240 ash or the burn or whatever, but to make that 00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:19.460 story that was so excruciating, so absolutely 00:22:19.460 --> 00:22:25.519 beautiful. I love in 2 Corinthians here, in 2 00:22:25.519 --> 00:22:28.940 Corinthians chapter 12 of verse 9. This is Paul. 00:22:29.220 --> 00:22:32.660 He's talking about getting caught up in the third 00:22:32.660 --> 00:22:36.039 heaven and so many other things here. But this 00:22:36.039 --> 00:22:39.440 is the part that I think really is specific and 00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:43.579 applies specifically to you and me. are listeners 00:22:43.579 --> 00:22:46.420 who are going through their own versions of the 00:22:46.420 --> 00:22:50.460 fallen, experiencing the fallen world and all 00:22:50.460 --> 00:22:52.759 of the trials and troubles that come with it. 00:22:53.319 --> 00:22:57.160 You experienced yours through your experience. 00:22:57.240 --> 00:23:00.759 My experience was different. My experience was 00:23:00.759 --> 00:23:04.180 more closely tied to addiction and alcoholism 00:23:04.180 --> 00:23:07.619 and dishonesty and living a double life and all 00:23:07.619 --> 00:23:09.599 that kind of stuff. And then there's so many 00:23:09.599 --> 00:23:12.329 variations and versions. And yet again, even 00:23:12.329 --> 00:23:16.710 more stories from our listeners, and I love when 00:23:16.710 --> 00:23:20.069 Paul made this observation. He said, and he said 00:23:20.069 --> 00:23:25.609 unto me, meaning Christ said unto me, my grace 00:23:25.609 --> 00:23:28.890 is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made 00:23:28.890 --> 00:23:32.930 perfect in weakness. Christ's strength is made 00:23:32.930 --> 00:23:36.210 perfect in weakness. And then back to the scripture, 00:23:36.289 --> 00:23:39.670 most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in 00:23:39.670 --> 00:23:43.130 my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest 00:23:43.130 --> 00:23:47.130 upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, 00:23:47.609 --> 00:23:52.269 in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, 00:23:52.710 --> 00:23:55.789 in distress for Christ's sake. For when I am 00:23:55.789 --> 00:24:00.430 weak, then I am strong. For when I am weak, then 00:24:00.430 --> 00:24:04.230 I am strong. The way I see this is that it's 00:24:04.230 --> 00:24:08.250 my weakness sometimes that reminds me of my dependency 00:24:08.250 --> 00:24:13.460 on Him. When he says in persecutions and distress 00:24:13.460 --> 00:24:16.000 for Christ's sake from when I am weak then I 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:21.420 am strong It's so true for me when things remind 00:24:21.420 --> 00:24:26.000 me that I'm not the issue. I never will be strong 00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:28.759 enough. I never will be able to redeem myself 00:24:28.759 --> 00:24:32.519 I will never be able to live my life with such 00:24:32.519 --> 00:24:35.119 scrupulosity that it will allow me to enter into 00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:38.680 the kingdom of heaven without recognizing first 00:24:38.680 --> 00:24:41.539 of all that I did nothing to get myself there 00:24:41.539 --> 00:24:44.259 with the exception of turning my will and my 00:24:44.259 --> 00:24:47.559 life over the care of God as I know Him. You 00:24:47.559 --> 00:24:49.740 know what, like I said in the beginning, I'm 00:24:49.740 --> 00:24:53.359 one of those people that just had to learn things 00:24:53.359 --> 00:24:56.119 a little bit more. And maybe I'm not that unique. 00:24:56.180 --> 00:25:00.079 Maybe I just think I'm unique, but just learning 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:03.920 things the hard way. And like you said, I am 00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:06.500 very well aware of what my weaknesses are. I 00:25:06.500 --> 00:25:13.180 am very well aware of um, where my favorite sins 00:25:13.180 --> 00:25:17.140 and what they were then and, and what they are 00:25:17.140 --> 00:25:23.380 now. Um, and so it's, you know, it's, it's one 00:25:23.380 --> 00:25:26.279 of those things that went, and I was humbled, 00:25:26.299 --> 00:25:30.380 you know, I will be straight blunt with you, 00:25:30.440 --> 00:25:35.420 you know, when, when you're a young Mormon girl 00:25:35.420 --> 00:25:38.819 in a little tiny town and you find out the news 00:25:38.819 --> 00:25:40.500 that you're pregnant. And it was back in the 00:25:40.500 --> 00:25:42.140 day when you had to go to the hospital to get 00:25:42.140 --> 00:25:44.900 blood work and you're calling every day call 00:25:44.900 --> 00:25:47.619 after four o 'clock. And I just remember when 00:25:47.619 --> 00:25:50.200 the girl answered and I said, you know, I need 00:25:50.200 --> 00:25:53.140 the results for Deborah Graves. And she goes, 00:25:53.240 --> 00:25:56.200 we told you positive. And I was like, and I just 00:25:56.200 --> 00:25:59.180 hung up the phone as fast as I could. And, and 00:25:59.180 --> 00:26:04.240 I wasn't that excited as she was, but, um, it, 00:26:04.420 --> 00:26:08.150 it was one of those things again, that God knew 00:26:08.150 --> 00:26:11.569 that I could learn what I needed to learn going 00:26:11.569 --> 00:26:16.190 through that one of the most terrible news terrible 00:26:16.190 --> 00:26:21.250 things that in that moment and it was hard and 00:26:21.250 --> 00:26:25.349 again when going back to ether 1227 and I'm gonna 00:26:25.349 --> 00:26:29.369 say and if Deb is as men But if Deb would come 00:26:29.369 --> 00:26:32.430 unto me I will show her there her weakness and 00:26:32.430 --> 00:26:35.549 I will give unto Deb weakness that she may be 00:26:35.549 --> 00:26:39.640 humble And my grace is sufficient for all women 00:26:39.640 --> 00:26:43.900 that humble themselves before me. For if they 00:26:43.900 --> 00:26:46.599 humble themselves before me and have faith in 00:26:46.599 --> 00:26:50.619 me, which that's exactly what I did as a 17 year 00:26:50.619 --> 00:26:54.099 old girl, I knew he had the answers. Then I will 00:26:54.099 --> 00:26:56.680 make those weak things become strong unto them. 00:26:56.700 --> 00:27:02.180 And that's exactly what this is for me, is that 00:27:02.180 --> 00:27:06.450 I personalized his promise. And you had faith 00:27:06.450 --> 00:27:09.069 in him. I did. And that faith, remember when 00:27:09.069 --> 00:27:10.849 we were talking about faith a few weeks ago, 00:27:10.910 --> 00:27:12.769 we talked about faith and then we talked about 00:27:12.769 --> 00:27:15.750 how faith becomes power. Yeah. And that's what 00:27:15.750 --> 00:27:19.289 you experienced was faith of power. That power 00:27:19.289 --> 00:27:23.349 enabled you and that power being the power of 00:27:23.349 --> 00:27:26.450 Christ's atonement and his enabling gifts and 00:27:26.450 --> 00:27:28.529 blessings and mercings that come through his 00:27:28.529 --> 00:27:31.750 atonement. It was because of that enabling power 00:27:31.750 --> 00:27:35.250 that you were able to Not just make it through 00:27:35.250 --> 00:27:39.190 that, Deb, but this has defined you and shaped 00:27:39.190 --> 00:27:43.029 you in ways that have made you, I'm just going 00:27:43.029 --> 00:27:46.069 to say it, celestial. Oh, you're so nice. Well, 00:27:46.089 --> 00:27:48.690 I'm a little biased. You are biased. I used to 00:27:48.690 --> 00:27:51.029 hear my dad talk about his celestial mother, 00:27:51.029 --> 00:27:53.289 and that's how I feel about you, you know? And 00:27:53.289 --> 00:27:55.529 I know that you're not perfect, but I know that 00:27:55.529 --> 00:27:58.809 you are. That's for sure. But I do know that 00:27:58.809 --> 00:28:02.410 you are well on your way to being made complete. 00:28:02.650 --> 00:28:06.230 which means perfect according to, you know, I 00:28:06.230 --> 00:28:08.150 think the interesting thing here, and I really 00:28:08.150 --> 00:28:10.230 want to share this with the listeners because 00:28:10.230 --> 00:28:13.930 just because I learned that at 17 and 18 and 00:28:13.930 --> 00:28:17.529 I got through that and I worked through that, 00:28:17.569 --> 00:28:19.869 you know, ironically enough, I didn't learn from 00:28:19.869 --> 00:28:23.849 that because within six months I was back doing 00:28:23.849 --> 00:28:27.789 the exact same things I was doing drinking again. 00:28:27.789 --> 00:28:31.170 And I got pregnant again from another person, 00:28:31.690 --> 00:28:35.500 which became my children's dad. So it was, it 00:28:35.500 --> 00:28:37.279 was like, you know, you would think you would 00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:40.980 learn and know and have that conversion, but 00:28:40.980 --> 00:28:44.140 it wasn't until decades, literally decades later 00:28:44.140 --> 00:28:48.640 that I learned that I learned the atonement in 00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:50.980 a different way. I just didn't, I just didn't 00:28:50.980 --> 00:28:54.420 understand it at a young age, even though I learned, 00:28:54.759 --> 00:28:58.339 I can look back now and go, Oh my gosh, I, I 00:28:58.339 --> 00:29:01.579 applied that. I prayed I'd only I couldn't rely 00:29:01.579 --> 00:29:05.039 on anyone else. Yeah. And God knew that she's 00:29:05.039 --> 00:29:06.759 going to figure this out because nobody can help 00:29:06.759 --> 00:29:09.220 her with it. And so I fell to my knees. And then 00:29:09.220 --> 00:29:11.700 when, you know, I'm finding myself in that same 00:29:11.700 --> 00:29:15.099 predicament again, and I'm like, how in the world 00:29:15.099 --> 00:29:19.500 did I get here? How, how does this happen again? 00:29:19.940 --> 00:29:23.359 And so, you know, and then more guilt, more shame, 00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:27.079 more isolation, more whatever, not isolation, 00:29:27.220 --> 00:29:31.450 but more, you know, self self you know, talk 00:29:31.450 --> 00:29:35.869 of, here you go again, you idiot, you know, that, 00:29:35.869 --> 00:29:40.549 that terrible, you know, the accuser talk of 00:29:40.549 --> 00:29:42.609 how dare you do this again. You'd think you'd 00:29:42.609 --> 00:29:45.069 learn because you had such amazing spiritual 00:29:45.069 --> 00:29:47.789 experiences going through that the first time. 00:29:48.730 --> 00:29:52.849 And so it again, you know, then getting married 00:29:52.849 --> 00:29:57.410 and then having children and then Being in a 00:29:57.410 --> 00:30:00.049 marriage that taught me things I did not want 00:30:00.049 --> 00:30:06.289 to learn addiction adultery affairs Abuse I I 00:30:06.289 --> 00:30:08.190 mean, I just did not want to learn it. I did 00:30:08.190 --> 00:30:11.990 not want to know any of that and and You know 00:30:11.990 --> 00:30:15.250 God knew he was in charge and even though a year 00:30:15.250 --> 00:30:19.150 after we went to the Temple I thought okay now 00:30:19.150 --> 00:30:23.329 it's all better. Oh, no, I I had a lot more learning 00:30:23.329 --> 00:30:27.430 to do and a lot more reliance. And I think, I 00:30:27.430 --> 00:30:31.869 think the thing, you know, reading in Ether 1227, 00:30:32.470 --> 00:30:34.390 you know, I knew my weakness, but I didn't know 00:30:34.390 --> 00:30:38.670 what to do with my weakness. I didn't, I didn't 00:30:38.670 --> 00:30:41.089 know to, you know, I, I would take it to the 00:30:41.089 --> 00:30:43.450 Lord the best way I knew how, you know, I'm in 00:30:43.450 --> 00:30:46.190 my teens and now I'm in my twenties raising children, 00:30:46.190 --> 00:30:49.670 you know, and I, it's, it's like, I'm the only, 00:30:49.750 --> 00:30:53.289 I'm taking my kids to church alone. I'm you know, 00:30:53.309 --> 00:30:59.390 doing the best I can and it... Anyway, it makes 00:30:59.390 --> 00:31:04.109 me tired to tell the story. But it's such a beautiful 00:31:04.109 --> 00:31:06.589 story and it's such an important story and we 00:31:06.589 --> 00:31:09.190 all have our own story. We can, you know, shape 00:31:09.190 --> 00:31:11.250 things a little bit differently. I mean, it's 00:31:11.250 --> 00:31:14.869 all about repentance. It's all about realizing 00:31:14.869 --> 00:31:18.789 your own nothingness and his complete, absolute 00:31:18.789 --> 00:31:23.750 everythingness and that through him, Um, we can 00:31:23.750 --> 00:31:26.829 find the strength to overcome that. He's not 00:31:26.829 --> 00:31:30.369 mad at you. He never was really mad at you, which 00:31:30.369 --> 00:31:33.349 I didn't know that I know. And I didn't either. 00:31:33.490 --> 00:31:37.369 I used to think God was so mad at me. Why wouldn't 00:31:37.369 --> 00:31:41.490 he be? Yeah. Oh yeah. I, I knew I deserved for 00:31:41.490 --> 00:31:44.170 a father to be mad at me. What I didn't realize 00:31:44.170 --> 00:31:46.150 is that's what earthly fathers do. I get mad 00:31:46.150 --> 00:31:48.789 at my kids and have, you know, my dad's been 00:31:48.789 --> 00:31:51.049 mad at me and boy, howdy have I deserved it. 00:31:51.289 --> 00:31:54.150 But Heavenly Father's never been mad at me, and 00:31:54.150 --> 00:31:55.990 Heavenly Father's never been mad at you. He's 00:31:55.990 --> 00:32:00.410 just wanted to love you and invite you through 00:32:00.410 --> 00:32:03.049 His Spirit and invite me and all of our listeners 00:32:03.049 --> 00:32:05.849 through His Spirit to come unto Him, all ye that 00:32:05.849 --> 00:32:09.849 labor Matthew 11, 28, and are heavy burdened. 00:32:09.970 --> 00:32:14.369 And I will give you, I will give you rest. Take 00:32:14.369 --> 00:32:18.839 my yoke upon you. And it's by taking His yoke 00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:22.339 upon us, His yoke by which we bound ourselves 00:32:22.339 --> 00:32:26.039 to Him. And we begin to feel the lightness come 00:32:26.039 --> 00:32:30.779 from our sin, from our fallenness, from our misalignment. 00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:34.059 You can call it whatever you want. It means the 00:32:34.059 --> 00:32:37.920 same. And because of that misalignment, we often 00:32:37.920 --> 00:32:41.940 find ourselves beating ourselves up and facing 00:32:41.940 --> 00:32:44.359 shame and all the other things that you've talked 00:32:44.359 --> 00:32:49.460 about. This scripture in Alma chapter 7, it reminds 00:32:49.460 --> 00:32:54.480 me, it reminds me of why I don't have to carry 00:32:54.480 --> 00:32:58.660 this, why I don't, all I have to do is turn my 00:32:58.660 --> 00:33:02.180 will to Him, rely on Him, align with Him, keep 00:33:02.180 --> 00:33:04.339 His commandments and show my love for Him by 00:33:04.339 --> 00:33:08.720 doing that. But this scripture is in Alma chapter 00:33:08.720 --> 00:33:14.529 7 and it's verses 11 through 13. And it reminds 00:33:14.529 --> 00:33:19.490 me, it reminds me of why it's not up to me and 00:33:19.490 --> 00:33:22.650 why all I have to do is align with Him and all 00:33:22.650 --> 00:33:25.410 I have to do is through faith in Him and through 00:33:25.410 --> 00:33:28.289 faith unto repentance and through faith on His 00:33:28.289 --> 00:33:32.730 name and by aligning myself and doing what I 00:33:32.730 --> 00:33:34.849 can to keep His commandments and love others 00:33:34.849 --> 00:33:36.970 and endure to the end. I mean, that's the gospel 00:33:36.970 --> 00:33:40.809 of Christ, right? Verse 11, and he shall go forth 00:33:40.809 --> 00:33:43.549 he being Jesus Christ obviously he shall go for 00:33:43.549 --> 00:33:46.609 suffering pains and afflictions and temptations 00:33:46.609 --> 00:33:55.589 of every every Every I say that every time I 00:33:55.589 --> 00:33:58.769 read this how many kinds every and I have to 00:33:58.769 --> 00:34:01.589 do that I I do that for me because an absolute 00:34:01.589 --> 00:34:04.549 Yeah, because for me I I used to say yeah, but 00:34:04.549 --> 00:34:06.819 I've gone too far Yeah, but your yeah -butts 00:34:06.819 --> 00:34:09.980 don't count. None of our yeah -butts count in 00:34:09.980 --> 00:34:12.480 light of this. Exactly. Right? Because it's an 00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:15.880 absolute. This is an absolute. Every stinking 00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:20.260 kind of affliction, of suffering, of temptation, 00:34:20.920 --> 00:34:23.280 of every kind. And he shall go forth suffering 00:34:23.280 --> 00:34:26.079 pains and afflictions and temptations of every 00:34:26.079 --> 00:34:29.079 kind. And this that the word might be fulfilled, 00:34:29.460 --> 00:34:32.739 which saith that he will take upon him the pains 00:34:32.739 --> 00:34:36.369 and sicknesses of his people. I love that in 00:34:36.369 --> 00:34:40.130 there, it doesn't say and yeah, it says temptations, 00:34:40.170 --> 00:34:44.050 but it doesn't say sin. Yep. And I think, I think 00:34:44.050 --> 00:34:47.269 that helps us keep it clear. Yeah, it does. It 00:34:47.269 --> 00:34:51.610 helps me. Yeah. Sickness or temptations or pains 00:34:51.610 --> 00:34:55.150 or suffering or yeah, it, it kind of encompasses 00:34:55.150 --> 00:35:00.460 not kind of it encompasses all. And this that 00:35:00.460 --> 00:35:03.260 the word might be fulfilled which saith he will 00:35:03.260 --> 00:35:06.300 take upon him the pains and sicknesses of his 00:35:06.300 --> 00:35:10.440 people and he will take upon him death that he 00:35:10.440 --> 00:35:13.719 may loose the bands of death which bind his people 00:35:13.719 --> 00:35:17.420 and he will take upon him their infirmities that 00:35:17.420 --> 00:35:22.280 his bowels may be filled with mercy according 00:35:22.280 --> 00:35:25.099 to the flesh that he may know according to the 00:35:25.099 --> 00:35:28.019 flesh how to succor his people according to their 00:35:28.019 --> 00:35:30.219 infirmities. Now the Spirit knoweth all things. 00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:33.760 Nevertheless, the Son of God suffereth according 00:35:33.760 --> 00:35:37.119 to the flesh, that he might take upon him the 00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:41.840 sins of his people, that he might blot out their 00:35:41.840 --> 00:35:45.199 transgressions according to the power of his 00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:47.800 deliverance." That's the redemptive power. And 00:35:47.800 --> 00:35:50.940 now, behold, this is the testimony which is in 00:35:50.940 --> 00:35:55.019 me. What I think of the blessings that come to 00:35:55.019 --> 00:35:58.599 us from Christ at home. that encapsulates of 00:35:58.599 --> 00:36:03.840 every kind. Temptations, pains, all of that, 00:36:03.900 --> 00:36:07.300 of every kind. I remember when I was baptized, 00:36:07.659 --> 00:36:11.079 when I was eight years old and I remember thinking, 00:36:11.320 --> 00:36:13.000 okay, I'm never going to make a mistake again. 00:36:13.019 --> 00:36:16.719 I'm never going to sin. Boy, did I have no idea 00:36:16.719 --> 00:36:22.199 what baptism and covenant and what that even 00:36:22.199 --> 00:36:26.920 meant. go each week and partake of the sacrament, 00:36:26.920 --> 00:36:32.079 um, and renew. And I, and I, you know, this Sunday, 00:36:32.340 --> 00:36:34.980 as they were passing the sacrament, I looked 00:36:34.980 --> 00:36:39.639 at that bread and the words bruised, broken, 00:36:40.059 --> 00:36:43.539 and torn came, you know, I saw some of those 00:36:43.539 --> 00:36:45.820 breads, some of those pieces of bread mashed 00:36:45.820 --> 00:36:48.960 between fingers. I saw some of those and none 00:36:48.960 --> 00:36:53.480 of the bread was the same. It wasn't symmetrical. 00:36:53.699 --> 00:36:55.639 It wasn't the same size. Some were big, some 00:36:55.639 --> 00:36:59.820 were small. And I just thought, how ironic that 00:36:59.820 --> 00:37:06.539 it is every single week, it's torn and shredded 00:37:06.539 --> 00:37:10.519 for us, bruised, torn, and we're all different 00:37:10.519 --> 00:37:13.739 sizes and shapes and we go through different 00:37:13.739 --> 00:37:16.659 afflictions and pains and sorrows and grief. 00:37:17.360 --> 00:37:22.019 I mean, it just comes in so many different shapes 00:37:22.019 --> 00:37:26.139 and sizes that it's like, and he suffered them 00:37:26.139 --> 00:37:30.099 all, every kind. Even the stuff that we don't 00:37:30.099 --> 00:37:33.159 understand or know. I mentioned to you earlier 00:37:33.159 --> 00:37:35.420 that I've had some wonderful experiences in AA 00:37:35.420 --> 00:37:38.099 this week. We're getting close on time, so I'll 00:37:38.099 --> 00:37:40.280 try and keep this short. But the other day I 00:37:40.280 --> 00:37:43.539 had a close friend who I love, like a son, like 00:37:43.539 --> 00:37:47.510 a brother, who deals with who's in recovery and 00:37:47.510 --> 00:37:52.409 deals with a debilitating depression, like I, 00:37:52.429 --> 00:37:55.349 even I don't understand, and suicidal ideology 00:37:55.349 --> 00:37:59.050 in the past and so on and so forth. The other 00:37:59.050 --> 00:38:02.789 day he was in, he'll have to, actually you know 00:38:02.789 --> 00:38:05.730 what, he has two years sober today. I know I 00:38:05.730 --> 00:38:07.909 called him, I mean I texted him, it was super 00:38:07.909 --> 00:38:10.829 cool, I'm gonna make a big deal out of him Saturday 00:38:10.829 --> 00:38:14.630 at the meeting coming up, but he called me and 00:38:14.630 --> 00:38:18.940 another alcoholic, ironically enough, priesthood 00:38:18.940 --> 00:38:22.880 holder, temple -going alcoholic, recovering alcoholic 00:38:22.880 --> 00:38:25.420 like myself. And he called me up and he says, 00:38:25.440 --> 00:38:29.260 can I get a blessing? And I said, yeah. And he 00:38:29.260 --> 00:38:31.059 says, I've already asked so -and -so too, can 00:38:31.059 --> 00:38:32.860 we just come to your house? And they came to 00:38:32.860 --> 00:38:37.900 the house. And in the blessing, I heard him called 00:38:37.900 --> 00:38:42.840 by name and reminded, your Savior knows what 00:38:42.840 --> 00:38:46.119 it is to feel the way you have felt. In fact, 00:38:46.320 --> 00:38:50.239 he knows what it feels to feel beyond even what 00:38:50.239 --> 00:38:54.099 you have felt. And because of his deep, and I'm 00:38:54.099 --> 00:38:56.699 paraphrasing, but because of his deep and abiding 00:38:56.699 --> 00:39:02.519 and perfect love for you, he can and will succor 00:39:02.519 --> 00:39:05.159 you through this. And succor doesn't necessarily 00:39:05.159 --> 00:39:09.139 mean care, but it can mean, and it does mean, 00:39:09.159 --> 00:39:11.900 that he's aware of it and through the power of 00:39:11.900 --> 00:39:14.059 Jesus Christ, through his enabling, strengthening 00:39:14.059 --> 00:39:16.690 powers, that he can make these things lighter. 00:39:17.690 --> 00:39:20.170 Well, at the end of the blessing, it was silent 00:39:20.170 --> 00:39:23.349 for a moment, and the spirit was thick. It was 00:39:23.349 --> 00:39:26.269 one of those where you just have... Tangible. 00:39:26.929 --> 00:39:29.690 Yeah, you can feel it. And it's non -deniable. 00:39:30.530 --> 00:39:32.530 You can feel it. You know, you have hair standing 00:39:32.530 --> 00:39:35.289 up, and however else you experience the spirit, 00:39:35.969 --> 00:39:38.449 undeniable. And as a matter of fact, he had told 00:39:38.449 --> 00:39:42.090 me... conference had been a couple weeks prior, 00:39:42.090 --> 00:39:44.469 obviously, and he said, I listened to the whole 00:39:44.469 --> 00:39:48.409 conference and I could not feel the spirit. I 00:39:48.409 --> 00:39:50.409 listened to the truths, I knew they were true 00:39:50.409 --> 00:39:52.369 and all that stuff, but I could not feel the 00:39:52.369 --> 00:39:55.309 spirit. At the end of this blessing, when among 00:39:55.309 --> 00:39:58.090 other things, this great young man got to be 00:39:58.090 --> 00:40:01.170 reminded of his worth and his identity and that 00:40:01.170 --> 00:40:04.369 Christ loved him so much that he went through 00:40:04.369 --> 00:40:07.190 what he went through and felt what he felt even 00:40:07.190 --> 00:40:11.960 exponentially more. He sat there at the end of 00:40:11.960 --> 00:40:15.980 the blessing for just a couple of seconds and 00:40:15.980 --> 00:40:21.599 said, took a exhale and he says, I feel lighter. 00:40:23.300 --> 00:40:26.380 And I don't know that it got completely out of 00:40:26.380 --> 00:40:29.900 his life in that moment, but I've spoken to him, 00:40:30.179 --> 00:40:34.340 been in contact with him daily since, and I can 00:40:34.340 --> 00:40:36.500 tell you our Heavenly Father is aware of this. 00:40:37.099 --> 00:40:40.699 and that through His Son, He can make beauty 00:40:40.699 --> 00:40:42.940 for ashes. He can take what you went through, 00:40:43.039 --> 00:40:44.960 what my friend that I just talked about went 00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:47.940 through, what I've been through, and what every 00:40:47.940 --> 00:40:51.539 single one of our listeners have gone through, 00:40:51.739 --> 00:40:54.519 are currently going through, or will at some 00:40:54.519 --> 00:40:57.920 point in the future go through, beauty for ashes. 00:40:58.260 --> 00:41:01.599 And none of us, there is not one of us who is 00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:05.179 precluded from the opportunity of taking them. 00:41:05.389 --> 00:41:07.929 In our sorrow, we can find joy and we're promised 00:41:07.929 --> 00:41:11.750 that. Like an oxymoron, but it's not. To the 00:41:11.750 --> 00:41:14.510 world it is though. Yeah. How can you find joy 00:41:14.510 --> 00:41:17.750 in your sorrow? Right. To the world it is, but 00:41:17.750 --> 00:41:23.730 I am not of this world, said Jesus. Right? When 00:41:23.730 --> 00:41:29.190 I think of Christ enabling power, the most, maybe, 00:41:29.469 --> 00:41:32.230 I don't know if there's one that's more important 00:41:32.230 --> 00:41:35.150 to me. a blessing that's more important to me 00:41:35.150 --> 00:41:39.449 than the others, but this scripture in John chapter 00:41:39.449 --> 00:41:44.869 14 verse 27 pretty much encapsulates kind of 00:41:44.869 --> 00:41:49.409 what I'm always hoping for. And if nothing else, 00:41:49.429 --> 00:41:56.570 if I can only have this, then I am blessed. This 00:41:56.570 --> 00:42:04.269 is in John chapter 14 verse 27. And actually 00:42:04.269 --> 00:42:07.829 I'm gonna I'm gonna read 26 and 27 because 26 00:42:07.829 --> 00:42:11.369 really is the reason for it So he's talking about 00:42:11.369 --> 00:42:14.030 the the Holy Ghost but the Comforter which is 00:42:14.030 --> 00:42:16.230 the Holy Ghost whom the Father will send in my 00:42:16.230 --> 00:42:18.670 name He shall teach you all things and bring 00:42:18.670 --> 00:42:20.849 all things to your remembrance whatsoever. I've 00:42:20.849 --> 00:42:24.789 said unto you so it's the Holy Ghost administrating 00:42:24.789 --> 00:42:27.530 and administering Christ's atonement in our lives 00:42:27.530 --> 00:42:30.309 and then here's the blessing and the in the outcome 00:42:30.309 --> 00:42:34.960 from that peace I leave with you. My peace I 00:42:34.960 --> 00:42:38.659 give unto you, not as the world giveth, give 00:42:38.659 --> 00:42:42.579 I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither 00:42:42.579 --> 00:42:45.599 let it be afraid." If I can go through the rest 00:42:45.599 --> 00:42:48.860 of my life and just keep that employed so that 00:42:48.860 --> 00:42:52.340 my heart's not troubled or that fear never sets 00:42:52.340 --> 00:42:55.679 in, and then I'm reminded of Doctrine and Covenants, 00:42:55.679 --> 00:42:58.699 chapters, or section six, doubt not, fear not, 00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:01.219 look unto me and everything. behold, the prince 00:43:01.219 --> 00:43:04.960 of the nails in my hands, et cetera. But if I 00:43:04.960 --> 00:43:08.340 could just remember that, and if I can just remember 00:43:08.340 --> 00:43:12.219 the gratitude that I feel for what I know that 00:43:12.219 --> 00:43:16.119 he did, then my desire to follow him increases 00:43:16.119 --> 00:43:19.559 and he gives me the enabling and power, enabling 00:43:19.559 --> 00:43:21.480 and strengthening power that I need in order 00:43:21.480 --> 00:43:26.639 to do that. That reminds me of Bednar's talk 00:43:26.639 --> 00:43:31.750 from, or it was actually, a BYU devotional in 00:43:31.750 --> 00:43:36.809 2001. And he said, the enabling power of the 00:43:36.809 --> 00:43:42.309 atonement strengthens us to do and be good and 00:43:42.309 --> 00:43:46.469 to serve beyond our own individual desire and 00:43:46.469 --> 00:43:52.230 natural capacity. I mean, I've definitely felt 00:43:52.230 --> 00:43:55.510 him when I'm able to do things that I'm like, 00:43:55.750 --> 00:43:59.139 that definitely was not me. I mean, and you can 00:43:59.139 --> 00:44:02.659 feel the enabling and strengthening powers of 00:44:02.659 --> 00:44:06.579 the atonement when you allow it. I just have 00:44:06.579 --> 00:44:09.320 always prayed to have spiritual eyes, to be able 00:44:09.320 --> 00:44:13.980 to see the miracles, to be able to push pause 00:44:13.980 --> 00:44:17.340 and enjoy the sunrise, enjoy the sunset, be grateful. 00:44:18.079 --> 00:44:21.699 I think that's such a critical piece for me to 00:44:21.699 --> 00:44:25.440 remember because it's easy to jump in that comparison 00:44:25.440 --> 00:44:28.880 and get feeling sorry for myself. And it happens 00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:32.219 so quick and so easy. The adversary, he's cunning, 00:44:32.440 --> 00:44:36.480 he's baffling, he is deceiving, and he wants 00:44:36.480 --> 00:44:40.179 me to believe that I am not enough. And he's 00:44:40.179 --> 00:44:43.960 been successful in the past. I have a quote right 00:44:43.960 --> 00:44:48.139 here that I want to say it every single day. 00:44:48.980 --> 00:44:52.880 I'm not earning my way back to him. I am receiving 00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:57.019 him into me so he can take me back. You know, 00:44:57.019 --> 00:44:59.780 I'm not earning anything. I'm just aligning with 00:44:59.780 --> 00:45:03.719 him so that I can receive it and I think that's 00:45:03.719 --> 00:45:07.639 that I've always tried to complicate it and Try 00:45:07.639 --> 00:45:10.719 to you know work harder pay more tithing do you 00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:14.519 know be better all the to -do You know all my 00:45:14.519 --> 00:45:17.159 doings and so it's it's important for me to remember. 00:45:17.159 --> 00:45:19.880 I'm not earning this I'm aligning so that I can 00:45:19.880 --> 00:45:22.809 receive We just kind of wrap up today. We just 00:45:22.809 --> 00:45:25.989 want to say that we know that wherever you are 00:45:25.989 --> 00:45:28.489 and however you're feeling, we just hope that 00:45:28.489 --> 00:45:30.909 you're welcome here, but we hope most of all 00:45:30.909 --> 00:45:33.289 that you feel welcome to approach your Savior 00:45:33.289 --> 00:45:36.010 Jesus Christ. He's not just waiting for you to 00:45:36.010 --> 00:45:38.889 clean stuff up before you come to Him. He meets 00:45:38.889 --> 00:45:41.690 us in the middle of our story, in our grief, 00:45:41.829 --> 00:45:45.090 sorrow, sinning, suffering. That's where His 00:45:45.090 --> 00:45:47.630 grace shines brightest. So come as you are, broken, 00:45:48.070 --> 00:45:51.349 torn, hopeful, questioning. searching, you are 00:45:51.349 --> 00:45:54.550 definitely not alone. And please don't ever feel 00:45:54.550 --> 00:45:57.030 like you're alone. We'd love to stay connected 00:45:57.030 --> 00:45:58.909 with those that we are connected with. And for 00:45:58.909 --> 00:46:00.889 those of you that we're not connected with, we'd 00:46:00.889 --> 00:46:03.309 love to make that connection. Please don't hesitate 00:46:03.309 --> 00:46:05.869 to reach out to us with questions or comments, 00:46:06.570 --> 00:46:08.989 encouragement. We could use some of that sometimes. 00:46:09.409 --> 00:46:12.530 And among other things, let us know if we can 00:46:12.530 --> 00:46:15.789 pray for you in any way. We have a prayer list 00:46:15.789 --> 00:46:17.969 and we would love to make you a part of that. 00:46:17.980 --> 00:46:21.739 So you can do that, that he redeems us at gmail 00:46:21.739 --> 00:46:25.280 .com. And if this episode touched your heart 00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:27.099 or you want to share it with somebody, we hope 00:46:27.099 --> 00:46:31.039 you'll share it with a family member or friend 00:46:31.039 --> 00:46:34.500 or someone you care about. Anybody that could 00:46:34.500 --> 00:46:38.420 use a little bit more hope right now and lives 00:46:38.420 --> 00:46:42.710 messy life like us derbies. Well, and next week 00:46:42.710 --> 00:46:45.289 we're going to talk still more about the Atonement 00:46:45.289 --> 00:46:47.769 of Jesus Christ. Potentially, we'll be talking 00:46:47.769 --> 00:46:50.409 more about the compensatory blessings. This week, 00:46:50.429 --> 00:46:53.349 we've spent a great deal of time on the enabling 00:46:53.349 --> 00:46:57.690 blessings, and we'll move into the compensatory 00:46:57.690 --> 00:47:00.170 or the redeeming blessings. We'll see how this 00:47:00.170 --> 00:47:03.969 goes. But just remember that He doesn't just 00:47:03.969 --> 00:47:08.269 redeem us. He heals us. He lifts us. He transforms 00:47:08.269 --> 00:47:12.900 us. He gives us all and even more that we need. 00:47:13.079 --> 00:47:17.860 And he knows, he knows how you feel. And in fact, 00:47:17.920 --> 00:47:21.599 he knows how you feel, but exponentially more. 00:47:22.039 --> 00:47:25.679 So remember that. And he does all of this every 00:47:25.679 --> 00:47:28.940 day. I love that he knows our name. I love that 00:47:28.940 --> 00:47:33.579 he is very aware of all of this. Thanks for being 00:47:33.579 --> 00:47:36.550 with us. We love you friends. And remember, There's 00:47:36.550 --> 00:47:38.750 always hope through Him because you have been 00:47:38.750 --> 00:47:41.710 redeemed through His blood. Thanks for being 00:47:41.710 --> 00:47:44.590 with us, everybody. I love you, Deb. I love you, 00:47:44.690 --> 00:47:45.929 Scott. We'll see you next week, everybody.