Hey there, everybody. Welcome out to another
episode of Redeemed Through His Blood. This is
Scott Durfey. And as always, I'm joined by the
beautiful, the lovely Debra Durfey. Hi, everyone.
Hi, babe. How are you? Thanks for pushing play
and being with us. Yeah. Thanks for pushing play.
That's right. It's been a minute since again,
this is just kind of our pace. It's just, we
can't give excuses. They're lame. Yeah. But we
are busy, busier than, yeah, busier than we probably
would like to, you know, I probably shouldn't
say that, you know, we're busy and we've been
called to the busyness. of a lot of this busyness
that we're involved in. Everybody's busy right
now. I don't know anybody who's not overwhelmed
and busy. Yeah, exactly. But we're using it as
an excuse and it is actually a condition, not
an excuse that kind of prohibits us from getting
these out every six or seven days. So thanks
for being patient with our pace. I don't know,
Deb. Honestly, over the last few weeks, there
are times when I'm like, do we even keep doing
this podcast? Because we just, I get so beat
down and so tired. So everything that's going
on sometimes, but you know what happens when
I sit down and I look at you sitting there in
my chair. Do you realize that I've never recorded
a podcast from my chair? Cause David sat there
the entire first three years and now you're there,
but that's just goes to show my love for you
and him. Apparently. There you go. Yeah. But,
uh, I can't remember what I was going to say
about all that now. So you didn't, you didn't
want to, you thought about not doing it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. And then I sit down here and I look
at you and just, you know, we begin each one
of these with prayer and it just seems like I
get a kind of a, a little bit of energy. And
then we talked to some of our friends or we'll
get an email of encouragement and You know what,
gang, boy, those things sure go a long way, so
thank you for those and keep them coming. You'll
notice too, just by way of kind of the little
housekeeping stuff there before we get rolling,
you'll notice too that we have kind of moved
away from teaching the class like we do an institute,
the divine gift of forgiveness. We have three
full seasons of that and we have just found it
dauntingly difficult to try and match those institute
classes that we had from the creator of the class,
Dave, right? It's just different. And Deb and
I have decided that that's not our forte. Our
forte is experiencing. We have a lot of stories.
The effects of the things that we learn in that
book. And so that's kind of what we've been doing
here is we've been kind of keeping it in line
with the things that we would be talking about
there. but we've been doing it from a little
bit different position, if you will. Anyway.
It makes it a little bit less intimidating because
sitting in David's chair and putting on a David
hat was just absolutely impossible for me. Like
I said in the beginning, I'm more on the primary
stage of things. It's like, keep me with the
kids. Let me just play and sing. with the kids
and I'm, I'm good to go. So you put me in the
gospel doctrine stuff and the, that rich, you
know what, go back to episode one, two, three,
or not episode season one, two and three, but
you're going to hear a lot of stories because
I feel like we're two people that like to learn
with, if you say don't do it, we want to go figure
out why we're not supposed to do it. So it's
the universal two by fours that we, we had to
go experience life. the hard way. Yeah, but you
said that like it was current way. It's no longer
that way. No, we're choosing out. That's why.
At least that's our intention. A hundred percent.
I'm not sure we're a hundred percent. I don't
think we accomplish it a hundred percent of the
time that way, but that's how it is. Yeah, we've
just been through a lot of things and have had
the opportunity to see the Atonement work in
our lives and see the doctrine that has been
spoken in you know, in these podcasts that come
alive in, in our lives. And we have experiences,
we have strength and we have hope to share with
whoever is willing to listen because this, you
know, if I always say I'm a been there, done
that. And I hate that I, I have been there, done
that, but I am so grateful because it's, you
know, like when some, when somebody comes to
me and tells me something, I'm like, Oh, I've
had that. Oh, I experienced that. I have pictures
to go with those words. And it's, it's not a
proud thing. It's a, I understand and I get you.
And I think for me, when I, when I was going
through some of my hard things, I thought I was
all by myself. And I remember going into the
meetings of recovery and even into, you know,
the meetings for single girls that were pregnant
in high school. going in there and thinking,
oh, wow, look at that. I'm not alone. And so
I got to find, you know, somebody familiar or
similar that can relate to me. So I didn't feel
so isolated on my island of sin and regret or
whatever. A fallenness. I felt really good. Before
we get into much more of that, I have a couple
of observations I want to share with you, Deb.
our listeners, but I can share them with you
too, if you want to listen in. Oh, I'm a good
listener. We were driving home tonight. We're
trying to turn over a new leaf here and not eat
out as much. We both work and live such crazy,
busy lives. We've been talking about this. We
went grocery shopping the other day and we bought
stuff to make dinners with. Earlier today, I
was telling Deb, hey, I have to do a YouTube
video for work. We had four thousand some odd
people or something like that that came to it
and and all the preparation that was involved
with that. But prior to talking to her or prior
to that, I was talking to her and she's like,
maybe we'll just go get a sandwich after work
today. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, we're good.
We can we can fix something at home. I'll figure
it out. As soon as that event I did ended, I
send her a text. I says, I think we need to go
get food. Yeah, that's okay. We're on the road.
Our groceries are still in our fridge and in
our pantry. And that really has nothing to do
with what I wanted to talk about, but we're driving
home from there, and we're headed east towards
our home. We live near the mouth of Provo Canyon
here in Orham, Utah. And right in front of us,
we have a beautiful sunset, I think, behind us.
And then right in front of us, we have the most
beautiful view of Cascade Mountain, all lit up,
you know. some fall foliage left. We've had a
lot of snow on those mountains. And then just
to the north of that big, beautiful, Tempanogos
mountain. There's some sacredness to this area
for me. To those mountains specifically, I've
spent so much of my life on those mountains on
horseback. So much of my testimony with my dad,
my grandpa Fag, grandpa Durfee, and uncles that
I've ridden with. and others. Yesterday in Gospel
Doctrine, we talked a little bit about instruments
of grace. We've talked about this before, and
let me just say this too, Canyonview Seventh
Ward is the celestial ward church. I mean, it
just is. I am so grateful for our ward family.
But I had an opportunity to teach gospel doctrine
yesterday, and while we're talking. Stop for
a second. You were talking about the mountain.
I'll get there. Sorry. Yeah, I'll get there.
And we're talking about instruments of grace
in this class. And what that is to me, any time
I have an experience where I feel the Holy Ghost,
when I feel the presence of the Spirit of the
Heavenly Father with me, And I can fill those
in a lot of places. And whenever I fill those
and whenever that's happening, I call that an
instrument of grace. Why an instrument of grace?
Because that's the instrument by which I'm filling
the grace of the Atonement that worked in my
life through the Spirit of the Holy Ghost. And
when I see that mountain, and Cascade Mountain,
and Timpanogos Mountain, regardless of how they
look, they're always so beautiful. And it just
conjures up that sacred memory. for me and creates
an instrument of grace. We talked about that
in Gospel Doctrine a lot yesterday when we were
driving home, and I saw that in front of us.
I just wanted that out. And then this past weekend,
Friday, we had a little family holiday, a little
something that we commemorate each year. another
instrument of grace that holds extreme sacredness
to you and through you to me. We got to celebrate
what we call Grammy Day. May it be Grammy Day.
October 17th every year. October 17th every year
is what we commemorate as Grammy Day. That's
a day that we celebrate, Deb, and we do it. That's
a day Deb, that you gave birth to your first
baby. Yep. The one that you placed for adoption.
The one that we've interviewed you about in seasons
past. I want to talk about that a little bit.
I'm catching you off guard with this. I realize
that to a degree. To a degree, I'm catching you
off guard with this. I realize that. But you
know what, honey? We have your interview in season.
One, I think, and we've replayed it every single
season. You were one of the first interviews
that we did. I think you may be the third or
fourth interview that we did. We used to do more.
We probably should consider doing more again.
Talk about doing some with Nick and his wife.
But the thing is, is I want to spend some time
talking about that today. If it's okay with you,
is that okay? Fine. Okay. So you want to kind
of just tell us about why I declared a Grammy
day. Yeah. Um, so every October 17th, well, I'll
tell you this, I didn't realize I was experiencing
grief until my dad passed, but every October
17th would come around and the days would come
and I'd get a little bit of angst. And some days
were really, really rough. Some years were super
rough, like her first birthday. And like, even
I remember right after I had her one of the Sundays
right after was a primary program. And I went
in there and I just wept. I just came completely
apart. And Mother's Day was pretty brutal. And
so there were years of grief that I felt. And
I remember the 17th and I remember the 21st because
the 21st was the last day I saw her in 1985.
This year commemorates the 40th year of um, her
birthday. Um, but as, as years went on and I
kept thinking, man, I, I have been so abundantly
blessed because all I ever wanted to be when
I grew up is a mom. And I always wanted more
than three kids. I always wanted more kids, more
kids. And so when I married you, I got four bonus
kids and I was thrilled to have those four bonus
kids. And now these seven children together,
have all started having children. And so when
my oldest grandkid was born and it's that October
season, I'm like, we are having a Grammy day
on October 17th. This does not have to be a day
of grief, a day of sorrow, a day of, of sadness,
but something to look forward to and something
to celebrate because what I, what my interpretation
of this is I know it was God's work. I mean,
at 17, 18 years old, I literally depended 100
% on the Lord. There was not any human that walked
this planet that had my answer, including myself.
And I learned at a very young age to depend wholly
on Him. And so I knew it was His work. But as
I put this child out to the parents that she
was supposed to be with in the first place, It
has come back to me hundredfold. I mean, it's
just, I get more grandbabies each year. I got
to hold little, little Raumali. She's our youngest
granddaughter right now. She's seven months old
and she's just a little butterball. And I just
chew on her cheeks and smell her head and just
squeeze her fat little thighs. And I just love
every single one of these kids. And I just think
I gave one up. I gave one, which was one of the
hardest things I've ever done. But I have been
so abundantly blessed with all of my kids and
my grandkids keep coming. We have 16 grandkids
and 15 out of the 16 were there. And I, my heart
is just overflowing with, with joy. And so it's,
it's a, it's a celebration day. I don't care
if my kids are my, well, my kids know, but I
don't care if my grandkids know that that's the
reason we celebrate. But because I just feel
like I have been so abundantly blessed because
of that in and of itself. And so I've kind of
rewritten that day. So it's not a day of sorrow
or feel sorry for myself, but just a day to look
forward to. And I get to just soak in every little
spirit that comes around me. And I couldn't get
enough of all of them. I trying to keep up with
them was like herding cats and chasing cats.
And we were, we took them to Heehaw, Pleasant
Grove, which is a pumpkin patch. And they went
down big slides and zip lines and held goats
and saw little piglets and played in the corn
and just there was water and train rides and
just all kinds of stuff. And the older kids got
together and they went to play and the younger
kids kind of stayed close with their parents.
And I wandered around just trying to find them
all, which you can't. And we swing, sat on a
swing for a little bit. And it was just, it was
so delightful. And some years I have some kids,
but this year I got all of them. Even people
at work, you know, I told them I'm taking Friday
off. It's Grammy day. And I explained to them
what Grammy day was. And so today, even, you
know, when I was at work, they were saying, Hey,
tell us about Grammy day. How was it? And I had
some, you know, pictures that I could share and
I just, I'm a typical grandma. I hate to show
pictures and look how cute my grandkids are.
There's nothing typical about you. That's for
sure. You know, as you're going through all of
this, you've shared even in this season, bits
and pieces of that story. You know, you've shared
about the shaming and about the, when you were
pregnant at 17, how you were invited to go live
somewhere else for a while. You shared about
how when you would come home, it would have to
be dark and in the back door so the neighbors
wouldn't see you. And you shared about how a
bishop dropped his head in his hands when you
told him about it and he's just like, oh no,
you know, or whatever. And all of that has been
made right. There's no judgment in any of that
towards any of them from you at least. And I
appreciate and love that and know that that is
only available to you and to them through Christ's
atonement too. But you know, you are, and many
of us are, but this story that you share is what
Isaiah is referring to in Isaiah 61 verse 3.
He says, To appoint unto them that morning Zion,
to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of
joy for morning. the garment of praise for the
spirit of heaviness, that they might be called
trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord,
that he might be glorified. So through your experience,
through the turmoil, through the hell, through
the sadness, through the shaming, through all
that entire process, because at the beginning
of the process, it looks nothing like it does
in this part of the process, and we know we're
still in process, but It looks nothing like this.
In fact, it's a stark contrast. The beginning
of this process is a stark contrast. There are
some things that are similar. There are some
things that are in both of the beginning and
the end process. In the beginning, you were very
much relying on your Heavenly Father. You were
very dependent on the promptings of the Holy
Ghost. You were very much under the realization,
complete realization, Yeah, you just here said
it tonight. I didn't have any answers. No human
had answered. And you gave - It was bigger than
anyone. And so you gave yourself to him to help
you through that. And that process, as we have
been talking about the atonement of Jesus Christ,
the process you're talking about is really the
enabling, and the others are there too, the compensatory
and redeeming blessings of the Christ's atonement
are definitely alive and well in this story.
But when I hear this story tonight and when I've
been considering it, man, I was there and I wiped
tears from my eyes on many occasions Friday as
I saw your joy and as I saw the joy of our grandchildren
who are living such secure lives and have so
much happiness and just hoping, hoping even beyond
hope probably, that all children will have that
blessing and an opportunity in their life to
have a mom, a grandma, a adopted grandma or adopted
mom like you. Because you have a child that you
have placed for an adoption. But Deb, in the
23 years I've known you, I have seen so many
unofficial adoptions of you towards other people.
We have Meg up the street. We have Kiara who
we love like our own. Jimmy and McKenna. And
we could go on and on and on. Do you remember
when President Nelson said, if you need a grandpa,
just let me know. I feel like I've, I think that's
how we are. I'll take them all. I, even at Institute,
I wish I could just gather you up and take y
'all home. I'm not going to call myself their
grandpa yet, but maybe in another five or 10
years, that would definitely be appropriate.
Beauty for ashes, Deb. Beauty for ashes through
the atonement of Jesus Christ, through the enabling
and strengthening blessings of the atonement
of Jesus Christ. Talk to me about that. How's
that manifested itself for you? As a 17 -year
-old girl, I felt pretty broken. I felt pretty
low. And it took years. I mean, we're crying
out loud. I told you it's 40 years. I don't know
that I'm old enough, but now you all know my
age. I did have her when I was 18 years old.
And I look at the young 18 year old Deb. It had
no idea what her future looked like, but I just
knew. I knew it and I knew God knew it, that
that baby was not to be with me. And I knew I
was an instrument to get that baby here and to
get her to her family. I have friends that have
placed babies for adoption and I know I knew
of a lot of girls that did open adoption. This
was a closed adoption. I have not seen nor heard.
I have a little book of pictures of her and the
days that I spent with her, I had her C -section
and I slept with her for five days on my belly
and the nurses there made bets that I wouldn't
place her, but I knew it and I knew God knew
it and She needed to be with that family and
clearly she's content. She's happy. She's with
her eternal family where she needs to be. But
it was, you know, for somebody that wanted to
be a mom her whole life, that was probably, and
God knew this, that I needed to learn and take
that. I don't know if you would call that the
ash or the burn or whatever, but to make that
story that was so excruciating, so absolutely
beautiful. I love in 2 Corinthians here, in 2
Corinthians chapter 12 of verse 9. This is Paul.
He's talking about getting caught up in the third
heaven and so many other things here. But this
is the part that I think really is specific and
applies specifically to you and me. are listeners
who are going through their own versions of the
fallen, experiencing the fallen world and all
of the trials and troubles that come with it.
You experienced yours through your experience.
My experience was different. My experience was
more closely tied to addiction and alcoholism
and dishonesty and living a double life and all
that kind of stuff. And then there's so many
variations and versions. And yet again, even
more stories from our listeners, and I love when
Paul made this observation. He said, and he said
unto me, meaning Christ said unto me, my grace
is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made
perfect in weakness. Christ's strength is made
perfect in weakness. And then back to the scripture,
most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in
my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest
upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities,
in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions,
in distress for Christ's sake. For when I am
weak, then I am strong. For when I am weak, then
I am strong. The way I see this is that it's
my weakness sometimes that reminds me of my dependency
on Him. When he says in persecutions and distress
for Christ's sake from when I am weak then I
am strong It's so true for me when things remind
me that I'm not the issue. I never will be strong
enough. I never will be able to redeem myself
I will never be able to live my life with such
scrupulosity that it will allow me to enter into
the kingdom of heaven without recognizing first
of all that I did nothing to get myself there
with the exception of turning my will and my
life over the care of God as I know Him. You
know what, like I said in the beginning, I'm
one of those people that just had to learn things
a little bit more. And maybe I'm not that unique.
Maybe I just think I'm unique, but just learning
things the hard way. And like you said, I am
very well aware of what my weaknesses are. I
am very well aware of um, where my favorite sins
and what they were then and, and what they are
now. Um, and so it's, you know, it's, it's one
of those things that went, and I was humbled,
you know, I will be straight blunt with you,
you know, when, when you're a young Mormon girl
in a little tiny town and you find out the news
that you're pregnant. And it was back in the
day when you had to go to the hospital to get
blood work and you're calling every day call
after four o 'clock. And I just remember when
the girl answered and I said, you know, I need
the results for Deborah Graves. And she goes,
we told you positive. And I was like, and I just
hung up the phone as fast as I could. And, and
I wasn't that excited as she was, but, um, it,
it was one of those things again, that God knew
that I could learn what I needed to learn going
through that one of the most terrible news terrible
things that in that moment and it was hard and
again when going back to ether 1227 and I'm gonna
say and if Deb is as men But if Deb would come
unto me I will show her there her weakness and
I will give unto Deb weakness that she may be
humble And my grace is sufficient for all women
that humble themselves before me. For if they
humble themselves before me and have faith in
me, which that's exactly what I did as a 17 year
old girl, I knew he had the answers. Then I will
make those weak things become strong unto them.
And that's exactly what this is for me, is that
I personalized his promise. And you had faith
in him. I did. And that faith, remember when
we were talking about faith a few weeks ago,
we talked about faith and then we talked about
how faith becomes power. Yeah. And that's what
you experienced was faith of power. That power
enabled you and that power being the power of
Christ's atonement and his enabling gifts and
blessings and mercings that come through his
atonement. It was because of that enabling power
that you were able to Not just make it through
that, Deb, but this has defined you and shaped
you in ways that have made you, I'm just going
to say it, celestial. Oh, you're so nice. Well,
I'm a little biased. You are biased. I used to
hear my dad talk about his celestial mother,
and that's how I feel about you, you know? And
I know that you're not perfect, but I know that
you are. That's for sure. But I do know that
you are well on your way to being made complete.
which means perfect according to, you know, I
think the interesting thing here, and I really
want to share this with the listeners because
just because I learned that at 17 and 18 and
I got through that and I worked through that,
you know, ironically enough, I didn't learn from
that because within six months I was back doing
the exact same things I was doing drinking again.
And I got pregnant again from another person,
which became my children's dad. So it was, it
was like, you know, you would think you would
learn and know and have that conversion, but
it wasn't until decades, literally decades later
that I learned that I learned the atonement in
a different way. I just didn't, I just didn't
understand it at a young age, even though I learned,
I can look back now and go, Oh my gosh, I, I
applied that. I prayed I'd only I couldn't rely
on anyone else. Yeah. And God knew that she's
going to figure this out because nobody can help
her with it. And so I fell to my knees. And then
when, you know, I'm finding myself in that same
predicament again, and I'm like, how in the world
did I get here? How, how does this happen again?
And so, you know, and then more guilt, more shame,
more isolation, more whatever, not isolation,
but more, you know, self self you know, talk
of, here you go again, you idiot, you know, that,
that terrible, you know, the accuser talk of
how dare you do this again. You'd think you'd
learn because you had such amazing spiritual
experiences going through that the first time.
And so it again, you know, then getting married
and then having children and then Being in a
marriage that taught me things I did not want
to learn addiction adultery affairs Abuse I I
mean, I just did not want to learn it. I did
not want to know any of that and and You know
God knew he was in charge and even though a year
after we went to the Temple I thought okay now
it's all better. Oh, no, I I had a lot more learning
to do and a lot more reliance. And I think, I
think the thing, you know, reading in Ether 1227,
you know, I knew my weakness, but I didn't know
what to do with my weakness. I didn't, I didn't
know to, you know, I, I would take it to the
Lord the best way I knew how, you know, I'm in
my teens and now I'm in my twenties raising children,
you know, and I, it's, it's like, I'm the only,
I'm taking my kids to church alone. I'm you know,
doing the best I can and it... Anyway, it makes
me tired to tell the story. But it's such a beautiful
story and it's such an important story and we
all have our own story. We can, you know, shape
things a little bit differently. I mean, it's
all about repentance. It's all about realizing
your own nothingness and his complete, absolute
everythingness and that through him, Um, we can
find the strength to overcome that. He's not
mad at you. He never was really mad at you, which
I didn't know that I know. And I didn't either.
I used to think God was so mad at me. Why wouldn't
he be? Yeah. Oh yeah. I, I knew I deserved for
a father to be mad at me. What I didn't realize
is that's what earthly fathers do. I get mad
at my kids and have, you know, my dad's been
mad at me and boy, howdy have I deserved it.
But Heavenly Father's never been mad at me, and
Heavenly Father's never been mad at you. He's
just wanted to love you and invite you through
His Spirit and invite me and all of our listeners
through His Spirit to come unto Him, all ye that
labor Matthew 11, 28, and are heavy burdened.
And I will give you, I will give you rest. Take
my yoke upon you. And it's by taking His yoke
upon us, His yoke by which we bound ourselves
to Him. And we begin to feel the lightness come
from our sin, from our fallenness, from our misalignment.
You can call it whatever you want. It means the
same. And because of that misalignment, we often
find ourselves beating ourselves up and facing
shame and all the other things that you've talked
about. This scripture in Alma chapter 7, it reminds
me, it reminds me of why I don't have to carry
this, why I don't, all I have to do is turn my
will to Him, rely on Him, align with Him, keep
His commandments and show my love for Him by
doing that. But this scripture is in Alma chapter
7 and it's verses 11 through 13. And it reminds
me, it reminds me of why it's not up to me and
why all I have to do is align with Him and all
I have to do is through faith in Him and through
faith unto repentance and through faith on His
name and by aligning myself and doing what I
can to keep His commandments and love others
and endure to the end. I mean, that's the gospel
of Christ, right? Verse 11, and he shall go forth
he being Jesus Christ obviously he shall go for
suffering pains and afflictions and temptations
of every every Every I say that every time I
read this how many kinds every and I have to
do that I I do that for me because an absolute
Yeah, because for me I I used to say yeah, but
I've gone too far Yeah, but your yeah -butts
don't count. None of our yeah -butts count in
light of this. Exactly. Right? Because it's an
absolute. This is an absolute. Every stinking
kind of affliction, of suffering, of temptation,
of every kind. And he shall go forth suffering
pains and afflictions and temptations of every
kind. And this that the word might be fulfilled,
which saith that he will take upon him the pains
and sicknesses of his people. I love that in
there, it doesn't say and yeah, it says temptations,
but it doesn't say sin. Yep. And I think, I think
that helps us keep it clear. Yeah, it does. It
helps me. Yeah. Sickness or temptations or pains
or suffering or yeah, it, it kind of encompasses
not kind of it encompasses all. And this that
the word might be fulfilled which saith he will
take upon him the pains and sicknesses of his
people and he will take upon him death that he
may loose the bands of death which bind his people
and he will take upon him their infirmities that
his bowels may be filled with mercy according
to the flesh that he may know according to the
flesh how to succor his people according to their
infirmities. Now the Spirit knoweth all things.
Nevertheless, the Son of God suffereth according
to the flesh, that he might take upon him the
sins of his people, that he might blot out their
transgressions according to the power of his
deliverance." That's the redemptive power. And
now, behold, this is the testimony which is in
me. What I think of the blessings that come to
us from Christ at home. that encapsulates of
every kind. Temptations, pains, all of that,
of every kind. I remember when I was baptized,
when I was eight years old and I remember thinking,
okay, I'm never going to make a mistake again.
I'm never going to sin. Boy, did I have no idea
what baptism and covenant and what that even
meant. go each week and partake of the sacrament,
um, and renew. And I, and I, you know, this Sunday,
as they were passing the sacrament, I looked
at that bread and the words bruised, broken,
and torn came, you know, I saw some of those
breads, some of those pieces of bread mashed
between fingers. I saw some of those and none
of the bread was the same. It wasn't symmetrical.
It wasn't the same size. Some were big, some
were small. And I just thought, how ironic that
it is every single week, it's torn and shredded
for us, bruised, torn, and we're all different
sizes and shapes and we go through different
afflictions and pains and sorrows and grief.
I mean, it just comes in so many different shapes
and sizes that it's like, and he suffered them
all, every kind. Even the stuff that we don't
understand or know. I mentioned to you earlier
that I've had some wonderful experiences in AA
this week. We're getting close on time, so I'll
try and keep this short. But the other day I
had a close friend who I love, like a son, like
a brother, who deals with who's in recovery and
deals with a debilitating depression, like I,
even I don't understand, and suicidal ideology
in the past and so on and so forth. The other
day he was in, he'll have to, actually you know
what, he has two years sober today. I know I
called him, I mean I texted him, it was super
cool, I'm gonna make a big deal out of him Saturday
at the meeting coming up, but he called me and
another alcoholic, ironically enough, priesthood
holder, temple -going alcoholic, recovering alcoholic
like myself. And he called me up and he says,
can I get a blessing? And I said, yeah. And he
says, I've already asked so -and -so too, can
we just come to your house? And they came to
the house. And in the blessing, I heard him called
by name and reminded, your Savior knows what
it is to feel the way you have felt. In fact,
he knows what it feels to feel beyond even what
you have felt. And because of his deep, and I'm
paraphrasing, but because of his deep and abiding
and perfect love for you, he can and will succor
you through this. And succor doesn't necessarily
mean care, but it can mean, and it does mean,
that he's aware of it and through the power of
Jesus Christ, through his enabling, strengthening
powers, that he can make these things lighter.
Well, at the end of the blessing, it was silent
for a moment, and the spirit was thick. It was
one of those where you just have... Tangible.
Yeah, you can feel it. And it's non -deniable.
You can feel it. You know, you have hair standing
up, and however else you experience the spirit,
undeniable. And as a matter of fact, he had told
me... conference had been a couple weeks prior,
obviously, and he said, I listened to the whole
conference and I could not feel the spirit. I
listened to the truths, I knew they were true
and all that stuff, but I could not feel the
spirit. At the end of this blessing, when among
other things, this great young man got to be
reminded of his worth and his identity and that
Christ loved him so much that he went through
what he went through and felt what he felt even
exponentially more. He sat there at the end of
the blessing for just a couple of seconds and
said, took a exhale and he says, I feel lighter.
And I don't know that it got completely out of
his life in that moment, but I've spoken to him,
been in contact with him daily since, and I can
tell you our Heavenly Father is aware of this.
and that through His Son, He can make beauty
for ashes. He can take what you went through,
what my friend that I just talked about went
through, what I've been through, and what every
single one of our listeners have gone through,
are currently going through, or will at some
point in the future go through, beauty for ashes.
And none of us, there is not one of us who is
precluded from the opportunity of taking them.
In our sorrow, we can find joy and we're promised
that. Like an oxymoron, but it's not. To the
world it is though. Yeah. How can you find joy
in your sorrow? Right. To the world it is, but
I am not of this world, said Jesus. Right? When
I think of Christ enabling power, the most, maybe,
I don't know if there's one that's more important
to me. a blessing that's more important to me
than the others, but this scripture in John chapter
14 verse 27 pretty much encapsulates kind of
what I'm always hoping for. And if nothing else,
if I can only have this, then I am blessed. This
is in John chapter 14 verse 27. And actually
I'm gonna I'm gonna read 26 and 27 because 26
really is the reason for it So he's talking about
the the Holy Ghost but the Comforter which is
the Holy Ghost whom the Father will send in my
name He shall teach you all things and bring
all things to your remembrance whatsoever. I've
said unto you so it's the Holy Ghost administrating
and administering Christ's atonement in our lives
and then here's the blessing and the in the outcome
from that peace I leave with you. My peace I
give unto you, not as the world giveth, give
I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither
let it be afraid." If I can go through the rest
of my life and just keep that employed so that
my heart's not troubled or that fear never sets
in, and then I'm reminded of Doctrine and Covenants,
chapters, or section six, doubt not, fear not,
look unto me and everything. behold, the prince
of the nails in my hands, et cetera. But if I
could just remember that, and if I can just remember
the gratitude that I feel for what I know that
he did, then my desire to follow him increases
and he gives me the enabling and power, enabling
and strengthening power that I need in order
to do that. That reminds me of Bednar's talk
from, or it was actually, a BYU devotional in
2001. And he said, the enabling power of the
atonement strengthens us to do and be good and
to serve beyond our own individual desire and
natural capacity. I mean, I've definitely felt
him when I'm able to do things that I'm like,
that definitely was not me. I mean, and you can
feel the enabling and strengthening powers of
the atonement when you allow it. I just have
always prayed to have spiritual eyes, to be able
to see the miracles, to be able to push pause
and enjoy the sunrise, enjoy the sunset, be grateful.
I think that's such a critical piece for me to
remember because it's easy to jump in that comparison
and get feeling sorry for myself. And it happens
so quick and so easy. The adversary, he's cunning,
he's baffling, he is deceiving, and he wants
me to believe that I am not enough. And he's
been successful in the past. I have a quote right
here that I want to say it every single day.
I'm not earning my way back to him. I am receiving
him into me so he can take me back. You know,
I'm not earning anything. I'm just aligning with
him so that I can receive it and I think that's
that I've always tried to complicate it and Try
to you know work harder pay more tithing do you
know be better all the to -do You know all my
doings and so it's it's important for me to remember.
I'm not earning this I'm aligning so that I can
receive We just kind of wrap up today. We just
want to say that we know that wherever you are
and however you're feeling, we just hope that
you're welcome here, but we hope most of all
that you feel welcome to approach your Savior
Jesus Christ. He's not just waiting for you to
clean stuff up before you come to Him. He meets
us in the middle of our story, in our grief,
sorrow, sinning, suffering. That's where His
grace shines brightest. So come as you are, broken,
torn, hopeful, questioning. searching, you are
definitely not alone. And please don't ever feel
like you're alone. We'd love to stay connected
with those that we are connected with. And for
those of you that we're not connected with, we'd
love to make that connection. Please don't hesitate
to reach out to us with questions or comments,
encouragement. We could use some of that sometimes.
And among other things, let us know if we can
pray for you in any way. We have a prayer list
and we would love to make you a part of that.
So you can do that, that he redeems us at gmail
.com. And if this episode touched your heart
or you want to share it with somebody, we hope
you'll share it with a family member or friend
or someone you care about. Anybody that could
use a little bit more hope right now and lives
messy life like us derbies. Well, and next week
we're going to talk still more about the Atonement
of Jesus Christ. Potentially, we'll be talking
more about the compensatory blessings. This week,
we've spent a great deal of time on the enabling
blessings, and we'll move into the compensatory
or the redeeming blessings. We'll see how this
goes. But just remember that He doesn't just
redeem us. He heals us. He lifts us. He transforms
us. He gives us all and even more that we need.
And he knows, he knows how you feel. And in fact,
he knows how you feel, but exponentially more.
So remember that. And he does all of this every
day. I love that he knows our name. I love that
he is very aware of all of this. Thanks for being
with us. We love you friends. And remember, There's
always hope through Him because you have been
redeemed through His blood. Thanks for being
with us, everybody. I love you, Deb. I love you,
Scott. We'll see you next week, everybody.