Hey there everybody welcome back to another episode of Redeemed Through His Blood.
Scott Durfey here as always joined by David Durfey.
What's up Dave?
Good to be here Scott with you.
Excited to talk about these important things.
So I encourage you we have received recently some really great emails, questions and stories
and comments etc.
We invite you to continue to send those even those who may have a different view or may
have a different way of seeing things.
We actually love those as well.
So please get those to us.
You can send those to us at heredeemsus at gmail.com.
So thanks for those and keep them coming.
We've had a great conversation this morning already.
David and I talking about the things that we'll be talking about today and I'm really
excited David to talk about this today.
We've talked about so far over the last few weeks the manifestations of repentance which
so far there's four.
We've talked about three of those.
Confess for sake and make restitution.
And today we're going to be moving into the forgiveness part of it David.
So I want to just remind all our listeners about the process and the essential elements
of repentance as I see it and as I have taught it over the years.
Repentance is a process and there are many different elements of repentance and all of
them I think are really important to one degree or another.
I think we participate in all of these elements when we repent.
The order is not necessarily important.
I mean people jump in at confession when I think it's more of a manifestation.
But if confessing to their bishop gets them to eventually to cry out to God which is I
think the heart and core of repentance then so be it wherever you jump in is good if you
in fact go through the entire process.
And it's not only a process that must be completed but it is a process that I think
occurs in our life on probably a daily basis.
But I don't think repentance is just as President Elson keeps reminding us is not just a lifelong
thing something we do over a lifetime.
It's something that we do daily and this process of repentance should be acting itself out
daily on a daily basis.
I know that that's the way the Lord would like us to see it without trifling with daily
repentance is the Prophet Joseph Smith implores us.
So I think that the all of these elements and essential four parts of repentance are
just really important that we think about it.
What am I doing today for example to increase my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ which is
one of the foundations of repentance and it's it's that element that faith our faith in
the Lord Jesus Christ in his atonement that I think is so critical to the entire process.
In fact as I've said probably many times before if we feel like we're spinning our wheels
repenting over and over again for the same sins and we we feel like we're not forgiven
of our sins is probably because we lack sufficient faith in the Lord Jesus Christ or we lack
an understanding of his atonement or we lack sufficient gratitude for his atonement.
I just think that's really an important part of repentance that some people don't make
that connection.
Some people jump into repentance without actually strengthening their faith in the Lord Jesus
Christ or their understanding of his atonement and and if you do that then you're I think
you're short circuiting the process and you'll you'll wonder when you get through with your
list or your five hours or whatever however you see repentance you'll get to the end of
it and you'll wonder why don't I feel forgiven.
I've experienced that Scott you've experienced that I think probably most members have experienced
that and the reason is because they have a checklist of repentance and it's usually a
checklist that maybe begins with the letter R and the only R that really really matters
I mean the R that matters the most say it that way is rely on your redeemer and so often
times got that that's the heart that's the core is crying out to God in faith in the
Lord Jesus Christ crying out to him offering our souls and sins to him that is the real
core of repentance and it's it's been well it was sad to me personally when I experienced
my repentance I was trying so hard to repent of my sins when I was a young man and never
felt forgiven never felt forgiven never felt forgiven kept confessing over and over again
to every priest and leader I mean I confess my mission my stake president my mission president
I wrote letters I wrote letters home to everybody trying to make restitution I was trying to
do all I could following a list five step or six step list of repentance and I couldn't
figure out why I didn't feel forgiven and it wasn't until that that night in Pacific
Grove California when I cried out when I think I had finally come to an understanding months
into my mission what the atonement of Jesus Christ really was and when my faith in Jesus
Christ was finally sufficient where I could cry out and feel his his love his spirit his
peace and anyway that's that's really the core of repentance and so when we when we
talk about the manifestations of repentance I'm not saying that these aren't important
but they're more of a manifestation that we have been forgiven than they really are they're
not really the core of crying out to God acknowledging Jesus Christ not just suffering for our sins
but also suffering because of our sins I mean one of the four parts of repentance is is
fulfilling the conditions of repentance Scott which is a broken heart and contrite spirit
and until someone comes to that contrite heart and a broken heart and contrite spirit it's
really hard to it's really hard to repent and I don't think you can come to that point
or meet those conditions until you really understand the atonement of Jesus Christ I
mean we just had a conversation this morning with somebody about forgiving others forgiving
a perpetrator you know who who had abused this person who we love and and she was able
to share with us that it wasn't until she really understood the atonement of Jesus Christ
and had an experience a personal experience where she kind of heard Jesus cry out why
us thou forsaken me when she at one point in her life felt forsaken and she she wondered
you know I feel forsaken but Jesus was really forsaken and he was forsaken for me and when
she felt that and she heard then the next thing that Jesus cries out from the cross
I actually don't think he cried it out he probably was it was very quiet almost a whisper
this is how I picture it when he says it is finished when he says it's finished this
sweet girl who we love talk to this morning you know she she received peace when she said
when she heard him speak those words it is finished it's over let it go let it go it's
done it's complete I suffered it I suffered for all of it I suffered for the perpetrators
sins I suffered for the consequences of the sins committed against you I suffered for
the for those who don't understand her for those who don't believe her for those who
have offended you I have suffered for all of that it is finished let it go it's got
I I have a we're talking about really today the the final manifestation of repentance
which is forgiving others including ourselves and I just have this premise and I know it's
not it's not completely always this way it's not without some exceptions but I have this
premise based on my experience experiences of so many others that I've talked to about
this and based upon the experience we have this morning right talking to her I have this
premise that you can't really forgive others or yourself until you know that the Lord has
forgiven you until you understand the atonement of Jesus Christ and that he suffered not only
for my sins but because of my sins he suffered for all of them and he suffered for all of
the consequences of them and for all the sins of others and for all the consequences of
the sins of others and it's finished until you really have faith Scott until you really
have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and his atonement I think you not only cannot completely
forgive yourself I'm sure there are others who just can convince themselves that they're
forgiven or they did no wrong or maybe brainwash themselves into believing it and I'm sure
there are others who aren't even Christian who can forgive others but I I believe that
through our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and his atonement understanding him and his
atonement not until we know that we're forgiven can we really forgive others including ourselves
so many I've heard so many students priest leaders others others say you just have to
forgive yourself you just got to forgive yourself I learned I just had to forgive myself for
forgive myself and I always I always want to stop them and say it's so much easier to
forgive yourself when you know that the Lord has forgiven you and it's so much easier to
forgive others when you know that the Lord suffered for your abuse when you know that
the Lord suffered for your pain your hurt and when you know that he also suffered for
those who have been the abusers or the perpetrators of the pain or hurt that he suffered for them
to I mean when you when you understand the atonement Jesus Christ and when you feel forgiven
it's amazing how he can heal us not only of our sins but from the pains and the consequences
forced upon us by the sins of others I have one quote here I want to just share one one
quote that I think is really awesome on this God it's it's actually from elder Karen a
few years ago before he was called to be an apostle but this is what he this is what he
wrote this from April 2022 conference perhaps some of you however consider the accounts
of survivors and your soul cries out that you are living a survival story right now
as a victim of abuse neglect bullying domestic violence or any suffering of this kind you
are in the midst of your own desperate attempt to survive a situation that feels very much
like a disastrous shipwreck or a promising mission suddenly aborted will you ever be
rescued will you make it through your own survival story the answer is yes you can survive you
have in fact already been rescued you have already been saved by the one who has suffered
the very torment you are suffering and endured the very agony you are enduring Jesus has
overcome not only the sins of the world but all the abuses of this world to give you power
to not only survive but one day through him to overcome and even conquer to completely
rise above the pain the misery the anguish and see them replaced by peace the apostle
Paul asks who shall separate us from the love of Christ shall tribulation or distress or
persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword and and I'm just going to add or
pep perpetrators or abuse nay nay in all these things we are more than conquerors through
him that loved us we can not only survive Scott we through Jesus Christ and his atonement
we can we can conquer so that's that's what I think we should talk about today and there's
lots of scriptural examples to help us the Lord's words are are powerful on this this
point of doctrine I we're coming close to the end we're going to we're probably going
to spend I think a couple of podcasts at least yeah yeah probably at least there were so
many in all of my classes got over the years and years I taught it at the Institute who
who I asked them why did why did you take a class on repentance and forgiveness and
they would say because there's somebody that I need to forgive and I don't know how to
forgive them they they didn't really connect their forgiving someone with their own repentance
and I just think it's really important right off the bat as we discuss this that if you're
seeking to be forgiven you are in the repentance process because repentance is not only for
us repenting of our sins but repentance also includes the gift that we must receive from
God through Christ and his atonement administered by the Holy Ghost to be able to forgive others
that you can't separate in my mind Scott you cannot separate forgiving others from repentance
and the atonement of Jesus Christ it's not possible to forgive others without the atonement
of Jesus Christ at least in it in a redemptive enabling and compensatory way so that's what
we're going to talk about in the next few podcasts there's a couple things that you've
kind of touched on that I want to kind of come back to the first one that comes to mind
is when you make mention of daily repentance and you know finding elder president Nelson's
invited us to find joy in or through daily repentance and so here's my here's my thought
around that I always think okay so here's the here's the the equation and then here's
the the solve for the equation the equation is repentance and what do I get for that I
get joy according to I mean that's how I read what elder or what president Nelson has said
is finding joy in daily repentance if I'm lacking joy maybe I'm lacking daily repentance
somehow so well so Scott repentance is not suffering right and that's the point and or
suffer doctrine covenants 19 verse 4 repent or suffer suffering is the opposite of repentance
but we see a different than that sometimes I know I know joy is the result of repentance
so thank you for what you're saying very important for us to understand that the other thing is
is like when we say if I'm having I've been through this you've been through this many
probably all of us at some level have been through this finding difficulty around forgiving
others and then you so when you say well we need to repent so that we can be able or become
able to forgive others some people will hear that and think well what am I doing wrong yeah
what did I do wrong what am I why do I have to repent what am I doing wrong and I'm sorry
if they I'm sorry if they see it that way because I don't mean it that way and I know
that and that's why I want and you did clarify it earlier I mean just a few seconds ago but
it's important that we understand that when we say repent this is an invitation to come
on to him yeah that's what it means that's it that's what repentance is God and it's
joyful and we all need to do it I know I we're all sinners and we've all been sinned against
and repentance is are you going to face the sins you've committed or the sins committed
against you right are you going to fixate on the abuse that you've suffered if that's
what you're going to fixate on and that's where your mind is no joy or not and I understand
I get that I I do too you know I understand being a fixated on that yep but until you
can 180 degrees not 90 not 45 but 180 degrees turn around face the Savior and why you won't
forget about those things you won't forget about the sins committed against you you won't
forget about the abuse but until you can turn around and face the Savior and your focus is
on him and you remember him and you look unto him and you move towards the Gethsemane in
the cross and you go at the foot of the cross like that good sister told us again this morning
right she the cross really is meaningful to her now because she's come to understand the
atonement Jesus Christ and what happened on the cross and her personal experience with
that until you can do that you're not only not going to be able to forgive others but
you're not going to be able to be forgiven and if you don't forgive others by the way
we just say this right up front yeah if you don't forgive others you're can be committing
maybe the more serious sin the Lord says that Dr. and Covenants 64 9 through 11 and this
is strong language and I I don't I don't think we can just push this aside we can't
take this casually I think this is pretty strong doctrine here in regards to what the
Lord says about forgiving others so 64 9 9 and 10 especially wherefore I say unto you
that ye ought to forgive one another for he that forgives not his brother his trespasses
standeth condemned before the Lord for there remaineth in him the greater sin that's if
you're trying to forgive somebody you're in the process of repentance I the Lord will
forgive whom I will forgive but of you it is required to forgive all men Scott that's why
we need to do the repent because there's daily daily people we need to forgive the guy that
cut me off on the road today you know I I need still working on trying to forgive him but
if I don't forgive him in the process of not forgiving him I am committing the greater
sin for him to ruin my peace to choose to let him ruin my peace I am committing the
greater sin yeah but there's something vastly different between somebody cutting me off and
somebody perpetrating a major sin against me but the solution is the same for both yeah
and you know and as difficult as that may be for some of us to wrap our minds around
it really is the same for both what is that solution that solution is repentance or come
unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest that's what that's
what repentance is so it's not just a covering of our sins but it's a covering of all of
the conditions that have been brought against us because of the fall of Adam and Eve when
we embark in this repentance process what we are doing is we are inviting and qualifying
for the power of the Savior to come in our lives and to heal us from those effects and
it's it's only through him and his atonement that we that that power really Scott in an
redeeming sort of way is available to us I know again people can forgive others but it's
only redemptive if it is through Jesus Christ and his atonement when we understand what
he suffered for when we understand what the atonement covers that then we can through
our faith we can have peace and joy and we can feel forgiven and our relationship with
Christ is changed I am changed from the inside out my heart is changed it's not just a change
of behavior it's not just a change of mind it's a change of nature everything changes
my relationship with others change my relationship with my family my relationship with anyway
it's a it's a new so getting back to a miracle well and get him back to some of the things
we talked about last week it's a repetitive and iterative experience because we have a
new iteration of ourselves every time we go through this process thank you Scott I'm
going to elder rendlin yeah I love elder rendlin really trying to get his focus on not just
the you know the repetitive but the iterative process of living the gospel I love that and
that's true that's true and and it's something that even though I've been able to forgive
others I'm there's others that I still need to forgive that's why it's a daily daily process
but hopefully like a helix we're we're progressing as we daily repent well and David and sometimes
those things will come back you know I have some that I have they'll bubble up what I
would call you know egregious offenses against me that have been difficult for me to forgive
in my life but I have forgiven but sometimes it still comes back up and when it bubbles
back up the the thing for me to do is to stay to stay steadfast in my commitment to partaking
of the fruit to staying true to my covenants to remaining true to my commitment to visit
the Garden of Gethsemane and the cross and to understand and and to love deeper and to
invite him into my life and when as I as I feel his love some miraculous event takes
place in for me and sometimes that hate and that loathing and that struggle within me I
feel his love also being extended and that that repentance and forgiveness God on a
daily on a daily basis can be not casual it's not casual it should never be trifled with
it can be as simple as bowing our head and saying thank you right that's my sweetheart's
mechanism she bows her head and she says thank you whenever she feels that she has sinned
or offended someone or whenever she feels that she's been sinned sinned against or that
someone has offended her she bows her head and says thank you and what does she think
what comes into her mind when she says that what comes into her heart when she says that
she's filled with the love of God which is the atonement of Jesus Christ and for the
offering of God's son and all that goes with that that's what she thinks about and in in
one blinding moment of bowing her head and say thank you it she lets it go I just think
rep repentance does not need to be now I'm not talking about serious crimes criminal
acts or major you know sins where church disciplinary counsel may be required but I'm talking about
daily sins that we all commit they we shouldn't hold them over you know we shouldn't we we
should just quickly speedily repent I love that I love that phrase it's in the scriptures
twice it's in doctrine covenant section you know 109 and dedicatory prayer of the Kirtland
temple where the Prophet Joseph Smith praise help them father that they may speedily repent
well that doesn't mean casually that doesn't mean that we that we think of it as being
easy or breezy but that we take it seriously and we bow our head we say thank you that
that's my sweetheart's way of making the 180 degree turnaround and face the Savior is just
by bowing her head and to just silently sometimes to herself saying thank you that that should
be something that we all try to make just a part of our daily life Scott and and I think
that's what it means by the way I think that's what it means to pray always that you may not
be tempted more than you're able I think that's that is over and over again in the scriptures
the the council the commandment to pray always that you may conquer Satan pray always that
you may overcome pray always that's over and over again pray always to overcome temptation
and I think that's what it means is that we just we remember him and we bow our heads
take the sacrament on Sunday it doesn't just affect your past week right it affects your
coming week and and it's because I took the sacrament last Sunday that I can say please
forgive me today or it's a continual process and well their bed nor tells us that as we
partake of the sacrament it's not just for a remission of our sins is to retain yeah
mission of our sins is to retain that is to hang on to and and it doesn't mean we won't
sin but what can be our experience is this can expand if I stay true to my my Sunday practice
as I stay true to my my worship during the sacrament each Sunday can build on the last
and I can take that power that comes from that covenantal relationship and the reminder
that comes to it my part and his as I go through that each week then it can definitely have
a carryover or it can it can affect me now and and not only into the future David but
it can also change my past for sure yeah yeah absolutely but but I I think so many see repentance
as just a thing to cover the past yeah and repentance covers the past it covers the present
and it does cover the future that's the moment of Jesus Christ is infinite which means not
only that it's for all people but that's for all time that makes it iterative past present
and future yeah progressive not just regressive and in the past again getting back to forgiving
others Scott if we just read 64 9 9 and 10 that if we don't forgive others we can we
commit the greater sin yeah I mean just I know that sounds hard to believe for some
people are listening to us right now because there have been some who have who have experienced
such terrible things against their family you know we we got an email this week from
a brother who who you know shared with us about the experience of his father murdering
his mother I mean think about that yeah yeah yeah and there's more to the story than that
too I mean so here's a father alcoholic LDS but alcoholic the mother who wants to participate
in in things church wise and does teach his primary but the father will never allow the
mother to become baptized anyway the person that sent us the email because of the turmoil
and the dysfunction in their home at a very young age was married well said also that
his entire world came to a screeching halt one day when he received a phone call from
his mother's friend who said I need you to come to your mom's house right now and he
did and the friend stopped him anyway the turns out that to his dad had shot his mother three
times and she spent some time in the ICU before she finally passed away and then during his
incarceration dad decided that he wanted to be rebaptized and asked the son whom apparently
he'd never expressed remorse to or even apologize to for wrecking his and his sibling's life
wanted him to rebaptize him and he did and talked about how that was very difficult and
even maybe with a little bit of a hard hard in the beginning but through the atonement
of Jesus Christ and through the grace of Jesus Christ that was made available to him because
of Christ's atonement that that that he was actually able when his dad was released from
incarceration was he not only able to baptize him but he was able to go to the temple and
see himself to the dad's new wife.
Yeah, can you imagine having to live through that Scott and again I it may seem really
harsh when the Lord says if you don't forgive forgive others you're you're committing the
greater sin or you're under the greater condemnation and how's that possible because I know that
it takes time I I know the Lord knows it takes time to maybe forgive others the Lord understands
that but I think what it means God and I'm interested in your take on this that the
greater condemnation or the greater sin is that as long as I'm fixated on that I can't
have really the relationship that I need or want to have with the Lord Jesus Christ and
if I'm fixated on the sins of others or the sins committed against me or the abuse or
the however I see myself as a victim to quit seeing myself as the ultimate victim but to
turn around and face Jesus Christ who is really the only ultimate victim who who innocently
innocently suffered for all of the sins and the consequences of all sin of all the world
to turn around and to focus on him and as long as I can't do that because I am I'm concerned
about my victimization I'm concerned about my situation and I can't I don't have the
faith or the understanding of the atonement of Jesus Christ enough to turn around to go
to get 70 in the cross and to to look unto him in every thought I commit the greater
sin I mean I don't know for how many years this this young man who's who's sharing this
with us how much probably that really affected his relationship with Jesus and with his heavenly
father to to be so angry and I I'm not I'm not judging and I'm not condemning here at
all not blaming how much that would have been hard not to be angry at his dad not to not
to not to suffer not to feel the pain and the anguish from all of that but if I can't
forgive him eventually then I choose to continue to suffer yeah and that is why the condemnation
is more on me I just I just don't think that alone it's humanly possible probably I don't
think that we because of the fall I don't think we are equipped I think that we have
things that are lacking in our natural man that disallow us to participate that in a
full experience at least in an in a redemptive way yeah at least in an in redemptive way
we can say that that that's absolutely true Scott and here's another reason why the greater
condemnation is on us I believe is for example and there's a story similar to this in elder
Anderson's book in the second chapter but I know of an individual of a family I know
of a family who because of the sins of the husband and the dad the whole family is embarrassed
because of his behaviors and examples and sins he eventually goes to goes to jail he's
excommunicated from the church there's great great pain caused by him upon others especially
his family and the mother again I'm not I'm not judging I'm not criticizing I'm only
now reporting the mother cannot forgive him divorces him and I'm not saying that was wrong
I'm not I'm not making any judgment here but the mother divorces him and she gets custody
of the children and because you know of him spending some time in jail and because of other
other things she has custody and she won't let the children ever speak of or see the
father receive any contact from the father or now even grandfathers grandfather grandmother
from that side of the family there is no contact this this this person who was hurt and sinned
against will is now going to it's now going to go on through the second the third and
fourth and who knows how many generations this pain of what the father cause is going
to be perpetuated over and over and over again through generations of time think of it Scott
if people could just forgive and let it go and through the love of God be able to continue
to live a life of peace but it's just so sad that Satan can take a sin even even really
serious sins Satan can take that and it's it's not so much the this the sin that destroyed
that family it's their unwillingness to forgive that is destroying that family and Satan is
behind it this is not it's not pleasing to God he's commanded us to forgive all he'll
forgive who we will forgive but it is it is commanded that we forgive all and and the
the damage and the the destruction that will continue to go on now for generations is all
caused because of a person's unwillingness to turn around to go into Christ to lay their
pain their abuse that they're suffering at the feet of the Savior and to hear him say
it is finished I want to read a couple of the words from the story that you just referenced
this is on page 22 very bottom of the page 22 in the book the divine gift of forgiveness
and this is the lady who had been devastated because of the actions of her husband she
was going on and talking a little bit about the story and then this is what she says I
was devastated scared lonely and so so sad I prayed constantly to Heavenly Father and
one day I woke up and the pain was gone all I can say is that the gift of the atonement
of Jesus Christ is real and he took the pain from me and then at the very end of that story
and I said going over to page 24 this is the very last paragraph of that same story it
says how was I able to do it to care for him so what had happened is the husband became
sick she had remarried the husband needed care and she was able to take care of her ex-husband
and how was I able to do it to care for him after all he had done to cause so much pain
it was because Heavenly Father loves his children and the atonement of Jesus Christ is real all
broken things can be fixed broken hearts broken relationships and broken lives all because
of our Savior Jesus Christ there's so much power and so much truth and so much freedom
that comes from that that is just when we hold on and again I get it no judgment for
me on anybody who is having difficulty forgiving others this may be one of the hardest most
difficult things we are asked in our human experience to do is to forgive others when
we make Jesus Christ the center of our lives and all of our lives and all that we do points
back to him and what he did for us what he suffered because of me and what he suffered
for me this lady didn't sin I mean of course we all sin but the sin was not hers but the
pain was right the pain was hers and the pain was hers in ways that are absolutely ineffable
we just cannot describe she just is it's impossible even for her to describe the pain and she
says and so so sad so sad but it was and then because she had prayed constantly because
she had made Jesus Christ the center of her life and all that she did and all that she
thought about apparently she woke up one morning and it was gone the hate was gone yeah
a miracle and a gift totally a gift yeah one that cannot be earned but one that needs
to be qualified for through faith right through faith in Jesus Christ and through understanding
his atonement and and whether whether we're a victim of a disease like the woman who had
years of issue with blood who makes her way through the crowd through all of the the
pain and embarrassment and humiliation and all that goes with with especially in the
Jewish culture at that time of having an issue of blood and her go out into the public which
was what she was not supposed to do to go out into the public and have the faith that
Jesus could heal her and just touch if I could just touch and I him of the garment she knew
that she could be healed and Jesus fills power he says I feel power come out of me who touched
me and disciples said Lord there's so many people in this press what do you mean who
touched you you are being touched by everybody right now but it was different for him and
he sees the woman and this is this is powerful because this is only a few times in the scripture
Scott he tells the woman thy faith hath made the whole right not just physically healed
but she was spiritually redeemed saved reconciled all of it and and I think you know whether
we're a victim of physical disease emotional abuse physical abuse sexual abuse whatever
we are afflicted with and we're all just sinners help and sinners and we're all victims of
sin and we were all perpetrators of sin really you can't sin in a bubble but if you hold
on to a sin committed against you how many other people are you negatively affecting
how many other people have to suffer through you because of the sins committed against
you until you receive the atonement of Jesus Christ through your faith in him and turn
around and lay it at his feet I mean that it's it's really tragic Scott there have been
so many individuals destroyed not so much by the sins committed against them but their
unwillingness or maybe through ignorance I don't know I can't judge but but through
their inability or unwillingness to turn around and to face the Savior and to look under him
in every thought and to behold the wounds in his side in the Prince the Nails and his
hands and feet doctrine covenants section six right you know in recovery this is a big
one this is a big one in life I get it but recovery is kind of an experiment or a microcosm
of life and of the God and of the gospel a hundred percent and we we when we as a sponsor
and I won't get into any details but as a sponsor and being one who has heard many fourths and
fifths or heard many fifth steps which is the confession step that we talked about semi
recently and now when a sponsor is hearing this this is not to inactive forgiveness
of sins this is to help them identify so that they can move into the repentance process
whatever that looks like LDS not LDS whatever the case may be but inevitably and I and I
heard some really blood curdling gut wrenching stuff you can only imagine you know this is
some of the most evil of the most evil that in our culture that I think that we could
experience in many cases it's interesting to me that I don't know that interesting is
the right word but I find it I find it interesting to make this observation it's interesting
to me that as people go through this process and if they begin to see themselves as a victim
this victimization David can become an identity yeah and when we subscribe to because of the
accuser there and there's a big payoff you know there can be big payoffs to be in a victim
so what would some of those payoffs be well if I'm a victim then I may not be responsible
or I may not be accountable to this or to do I may not be emotionally available to participate
and for example in my with my kids or my spouse or my friends or whatever the case may be
there there can be a payoff but it's because it has become an identity when that identity
shifts and we see ourselves in our true identity and in in Alcoholics Anonymous and other repro
recovery programs we do that through steps one two three and and then 10 11 12 we've
talked about some of that I can recap if we need to but but we when we go through that
process our identity shifts and we begin to see ourselves for who we really are who we
really are is somebody who has learned to love and understand a power greater than me
Jesus Christ because they've because they understand first Scott they first understand
that they're not they're powerless in other words from a gospel perspective they understand
that they are a son or daughter of Adam and Eve and that they are human and that they're
fallen and that they're a sinner and that's step one right my life has become unmanageable
I have no control over alcohol I can't control it in my life and it has become unmanageable
or in a fallen celestial hellish world sons of Adam and Eve and then the second step is
came to believe that a power greater than me could restore me to sanity and I said that
you know we question sometimes the restoration to sanity you know kind of tongue in cheek
maybe there never was sanity for some of us but nonetheless restore us to sanity or to
give us sanity in our lives that can only come through an identity the identity that
we come on it come in with has to morph to a different identity in order for us to fill
the joy the happiness the relief the freedom the escape from bondage and all other all
other adjectives that are appropriately placed on that leaving that sinless life so to speak
and when that identity shifts it becomes I'll be careful to ever use the word easy but it
becomes easier to forgive more others more natural more natural to forgive others it
becomes a part of our new identity a child not of Adam and Eve anymore but of heavenly
Father who loves me who has compensated and empowered and redeemed me through the atonement
of Jesus Christ and it's through that identity shift Dave that I think that getting back
to what we talked about earlier through that identity shift that we begin to fill that
joy that comes through daily repentance especially as we're able to forgive others yeah well
that's that's awesome Scott yeah at some point we have to iterate from being a a son or daughter
of Adam and Eve and see ourself as a child of Christ that he suffered and he died for
me and he is my spiritual father and I want to have a relationship with him I know he's
not the father of my spirit that adds to our identity when we understand that we are created
in the image and likeness of God and that he is the father of my spirit and he loves
me so much that he offered or sacrificed his only begotten son that whosoever believeth
in him should not perish it's really true Scott identity is everything and then we actually
started this whole podcast with that that identity is everything identity determines eternity
we talked all about that and it's it's really true and when one sees themselves as a victim
they get stuck well when we see ourselves as a victim as you said we are seeing ourselves
as fallen right and we go to mosey chapter 3 verse 19 and we talk about what happens
when we see ourselves as a fallen and the natural man is an enemy to God and has been
from the fall of Adam and will be forever and ever unless he yields to the enticings
of the Holy Spirit and put us off the natural man and become a saint through the atonement
of Christ the Lord and become a child submissive me humble patient full of love willing to
submit to all things which the Lord seeeth fit to inflict upon him even as a child does
submit to his father a change of identity we shift from natural man to a child of our
heavenly father yeah yeah that's that's really important and and until one can really consciously
understand that Scott and let go of their identity as a victim it's going to be really
hard to turn around and want to become a child of Jesus Christ or yeah right or to really
understand what it means to be a child of heavenly parents right I think it's really
interesting Scott in the scriptures a word the word blameless I've just always found
that to be really interesting I think I've mentioned it before but I think when I know
all the scriptures where it says be blameless I think that means that we should live a life
of repentance and forgiveness which means we don't blame others for where I'm at and
we live a life so that others can't blame us that would be wow would that be that's the
utopia of spirituality and of a Christian life is to tune to because of the atonement
of Jesus Christ Scott I mean this is the faith and understanding one needs to come to to
really be able to let things go into to live the life that Jesus Christ is encouraging
us to live a blameless a blameless life is to that through the atonement of Jesus Christ
we don't have to blame anybody because Jesus Christ has compensated this enabled us and
in and redeemed us that through Christ that we don't have to lose anything that's that
he can restore virtue he can restore sanity he can restore anything that we think that
we may have lost because of the sins or abuse of others that through Jesus Christ and his
atonement that we can have beauty out of ashes and oil of joy out of mourning I love that
imagery of Isaiah right in Isaiah chapter 61 that that through Jesus Christ really ugly
terrible terrible things ashes out of ashes can come something that is really beautiful
and and not only can can we become whole again but but we can become strengthened and we
can become even more beautiful than we were before that's all that's what the atonement
of Jesus Christ is that's the power that's available to us so I I just hope and pray
that all of our listeners can maybe ponder this but I invite you to think about how can
I become more blameless how can I blame others less and how can I live a life so that others
won't blame me I if we could live that kind of a life Scott through through the power
gift and atonement of Jesus Christ I think we would find what it means to really have
the joy that comes through repentance thanks for being with us we look forward to being
with you again next week until then be well