1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,100 Hello, this is Leslie and I am the host 2 00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:05,480 of the Why Not Today podcast. 3 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,500 This is a podcast to celebrate people who have been 4 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,840 courageous and said, why not today? 5 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,680 I started the podcast in honor of my father, 6 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,200 Patrick Kane, who often said, why not today? 7 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,000 I'm based in Reston, Virginia, 8 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,920 planned community right outside of DC 9 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,800 and thanks for joining us today. 10 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,480 And I am excited, this is the second episode 11 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,000 in our second season, so it's been over a year, 12 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,560 which is a milestone and really fun. 13 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,240 And I love meeting new people and their stories. 14 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,520 And today I have Christian Quisenberry, 15 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:33,720 did I say that right? 16 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:34,560 Quisenberry. 17 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:35,880 Quisenberry, okay. 18 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,200 As my guest, and I would like to talk about, 19 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,620 you never know who you're gonna meet 20 00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:41,160 and how you're gonna connect with someone. 21 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:44,200 So Christian, I was introduced to first down 22 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:48,960 at Smith Mile Lake, a friend of mine knows somebody 23 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,200 that is a musician and he played on his dock 24 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,600 and we went years ago and then during COVID again 25 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,040 and Christian was playing, kind of got to know you there, 26 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,040 Christian, and then reached out to you about playing music 27 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,760 locally here in Northern Virginia, 28 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,360 but then it just kind of followed you. 29 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,280 You had a song come out, heard it, 30 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,560 and I love your story and your courage 31 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,560 and what you've had to overcome in your life. 32 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,800 And so, and we're excited to have you share your story 33 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,880 and share with listeners kind of what you've been able 34 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:17,720 to do with your life. 35 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,440 So why don't you introduce yourself? 36 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,480 I don't know you that well, except for seeing you on stage, 37 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:24,840 you're an amazing musician. 38 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,720 I almost forgot to call you. 39 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,240 It's funny when you see me on stage 40 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,600 and then when you see me off stage, 41 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,600 it's like, is that really the same guy? 42 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,120 I kind of lose myself on stage a little bit, 43 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:39,880 but hi, I'm Christian Quisenberry, I'm 26 years old. 44 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,240 I was actually born in Sacramento, California 45 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,360 when I was two years old, I was adopted 46 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,640 and moved out here to Huddleston, Virginia, 47 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,800 Smith Mountain Lake area, that's where I was raised. 48 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:53,320 It's where I live now. What a difference, California. 49 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,000 West coast to East coast, right? 50 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,320 Yeah, all town Virginia. 51 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:59,000 Yeah, I'm still a hippie though. 52 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:06,160 But anyway, so yes, it was, I grew up on a farm 53 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,520 with my two sisters, my dad, my mom. 54 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,920 I didn't really have the best childhood. 55 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,840 I mean, I had an awesome childhood, don't get me wrong, 56 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,880 but it's kind of weird. 57 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,200 I went from kind of an abusive situation 58 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,160 with my biological parents into now I'm 26 59 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:28,160 and I kind of have realized that maybe my adoptive situation 60 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,680 wasn't as good as it could have been either. 61 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,640 So I haven't really came from a lot of good situations. 62 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:39,200 My dad was an alcoholic growing up my whole life. 63 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,040 And I think that's where a lot of my alcohol addiction 64 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:47,360 and drug addiction, drug abuse came from, was seeing that. 65 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,060 And my mom was kind of an enabler for that. 66 00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:53,120 She didn't really approve of it here, 67 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,560 but she didn't really do anything to prevent it. 68 00:02:56,680 --> 00:03:00,640 So it wasn't really an easy childhood. 69 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:02,480 There are good times, we had good times 70 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,720 and there are bad times, but that's everybody. 71 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,680 What's a fun fact about Christian? 72 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,860 Oh, fun fact about me, let's see. 73 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:15,920 This is the first time I've ever had long hair. 74 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:16,760 Oh really? 75 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,560 Yeah, this is the longest my hair has ever been. 76 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,000 I've always had short hair 77 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,960 because my dad made me keep it short growing up. 78 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,320 And I told myself when COVID hit, I was like, 79 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,160 you know what, I'm gonna grow my hair out. 80 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,360 I'm gonna do what I want to do. 81 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,600 Well, that's really cool. 82 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,480 I just thought it was part of the musician look of you. 83 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,320 No, it's funny, I actually just, it's my COVID hair 84 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,640 and I decided to not cut it because it's funny 85 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,520 because people actually have now said to me like, 86 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:45,640 Christian, you can't cut it. 87 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,720 It's your rock star look, you can't cut it. 88 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,800 It is, that's how everyone else knows you. 89 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,360 I'll keep it, I'll keep it. 90 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,440 Give the people what they want. 91 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:58,160 Exactly, and is it kind of a rebellion against your dad? 92 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,960 A little bit, yeah, like come on, dude. 93 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,560 I do what I want now. 94 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:02,920 Exactly. 95 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,960 Well, so I love your story 96 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,560 and I'm excited for you to share it with everybody listening. 97 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,880 But before we start, what does courage mean to you? 98 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,240 Courage to me means just being upfront 99 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:20,160 and standing up for what you personally believe in, 100 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,560 whatever it may be. 101 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,320 It can be anything, whatever your religious base is, 102 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:28,000 your political base or just how you view life. 103 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,600 Courage is standing up what you personally believe in 104 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,240 and not letting other people dictate 105 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,880 who you are and who you should be. 106 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,480 Love that, yeah, totally agree. 107 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,720 It's interesting with all the episodes, 108 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,160 everybody's got a different twist on what courage is. 109 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,240 My brother who I interviewed last week or the last episode 110 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,600 actually looked it up in the dictionary 111 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,960 and first person to do that, but. 112 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,040 Well, the Webster dictionary. 113 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:51,880 Yeah, exactly. 114 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,560 So it sounds like you've had a courageous life 115 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,720 from moving from West Coast to the East Coast, 116 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,120 from California, which is a whole different world 117 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,120 than Virginia, we've got time in both places 118 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:10,120 and being adopted and abuse and alcoholism. 119 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,560 So it sounds like you've had a very courageous life 120 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,160 from the get go. 121 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:18,120 So, and then I know just recently on a journey 122 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,960 of becoming sober yourself in your music 123 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,440 that definitely takes courage. 124 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,840 So why don't you share with us, 125 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:27,400 what things you think you've done are courageous 126 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,160 and to give other people hope 127 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,880 and share a little bit of your journey 128 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,360 and the things you've had to do that are courageous. 129 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,720 You probably have to keep doing it 130 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,120 and I was thinking about yesterday 131 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,840 because for those watching or listening, 132 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,040 it took us a couple of times to get this done. 133 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,680 And you've had major cell phone issues 134 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,360 and internet issues. 135 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,280 You admitted you almost threw the phone out the window, 136 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,960 which I can see you've seen. 137 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,440 But, and on a sober journey, 138 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,640 that is one of those things 139 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,800 that was probably maybe a little challenging. 140 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,520 Don't drive me to drinking, girl. 141 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,840 Yeah, I'm fine. 142 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,000 All right, share some stories. 143 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,320 So yeah, so I guess for me, 144 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,040 the first, the biggest thing is that 145 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,880 this is all I do for a living. 146 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,560 A lot of people tell me, that's a big step 147 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,080 in and of itself. 148 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:23,080 Music, it's crazy how our society won't 149 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,160 and they just refuse to view what I do 150 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:31,040 as an actual profession, like a real job, a real career. 151 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,520 Even on the level that I am, 152 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,160 I'm still pretty local, a little regional 153 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:36,920 as far as the artists that I am right now. 154 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,440 I'm not international or worldwide by any means, 155 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:44,080 but it's crazy to think that someone can look at me 156 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,920 and be like, oh, get a real job. 157 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,920 Like I jumped off the deep end from, 158 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,480 I worked the nine to fives, man. 159 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:55,120 I did kitchen jobs, I did CNA work, 160 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,440 I worked in the medical field. 161 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,560 I did, I was a painter for a little while. 162 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,760 I did the nine to five 163 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,760 and I just couldn't find what suited me. 164 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,080 So a little under two years ago, 165 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,480 I'm actually coming up on my gig aversary as well, 166 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,560 what I call it. 167 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:13,960 March 25th was the first show that I ever played 168 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,920 out into central Virginia music scene, 169 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,160 my first ever solo show. 170 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,400 And that was at the Clubhouse Bar and Billiards 171 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,720 in Lynchburg. 172 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,720 And that for me was like a huge just step of courage 173 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,400 because it was me saying like, look, I'm gonna do this. 174 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:32,640 I'm not gonna listen to what society is telling me 175 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,920 and I'm just gonna jump off the deep end with this 176 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,160 and see what happens. 177 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,440 It hasn't always been easy. 178 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,560 There are still financial struggles and stuff like that, 179 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:47,280 but I don't let that sway me from just keeping my nose 180 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,080 on the grindstone and just keep working at this. 181 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,840 That's kind of one of the stories I share 182 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:58,840 when I started this is I started a Mary Kay part-time 183 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,880 side hustle thing 28 years ago 184 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:06,880 and left my corporate job 23 and a half years ago. 185 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,920 And people thought I was crazy. 186 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,840 Like really new corporate and still to this day I get, 187 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,720 are you still doing that Mary Kay thing? 188 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,360 I'm like, are you still an attorney 189 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,160 or are you still a whatever? 190 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,120 I'm like, yeah. 191 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,400 And it's given me an amazing life. 192 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,200 And yeah, it's not always easy. 193 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,480 I can tell you 23 years later, it is much better 194 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,480 and it gets much easier, but there's some days 195 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,040 that I'm like, oh, do I really wanna do this? 196 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,040 And then you think of the nine to five grind 197 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:36,160 and all the backend stuff that happens with it 198 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,160 and it's so worth it. 199 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,200 So keep going. 200 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,560 I applaud you for doing that 201 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,800 because it is a big leap of faith. 202 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,520 But you just gotta do it and you gotta stand your ground. 203 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,120 Like this is what I'm doing. 204 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:46,960 Right. 205 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,320 And in the midst of all that struggling 206 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,880 with the sobriety thing, 207 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,440 I don't struggle as much with it now. 208 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:55,640 Now it's just kinda like, I don't know, second nature 209 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,840 just to not drink. 210 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,840 I don't know, it just happens. 211 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,040 But a lot of people, especially when I'm playing 212 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:06,280 in a bar or restaurant, a lot of people come up to me 213 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:10,040 and be like, how do you even stand up here 214 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,680 and tell people that you're sober 215 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,160 when you're standing in a bar? 216 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:14,840 People are all around you drinking 217 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,160 and you're just up here. 218 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,880 I tell them like, look man, I just, I don't know. 219 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,360 I let the music take me. 220 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:25,120 I put my focus and my heart into my music 221 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:26,800 and into my family. 222 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:31,160 And that is what drives me to stay off that bottle 223 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:35,520 and to keep, you know, stay out of the bad stuff. 224 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:41,800 You know, it's not easy, but it's not hard at the same time, 225 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,240 because I discipline myself to know like, 226 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,360 this is what I should and should not do. 227 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,400 It's not good for me. 228 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,800 What is good for someone else 229 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,200 or what is okay for someone else is not okay for me. 230 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,840 And I've reconciled with that, you know. 231 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,400 So I can walk into a bar and I can sit at the bar 232 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,360 and I'll order myself, you know, a virgin tequila sunrise. 233 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:04,160 And you have no idea the funny looks I get from a bartender 234 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:08,080 when they're like, do you want a virgin tequila sunrise? 235 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,480 So you want pineapple juice and grenadine. 236 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,560 And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's what I want. 237 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:14,800 It just makes me feel like I'm doing something, you know. 238 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,240 Right. 239 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,640 So let's talk about your journey to becoming sober. 240 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,000 The courage it took you to do that. 241 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,400 Was it like just one day, did something happen? 242 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,320 Did you like, I'm just done with it or was it a journey? 243 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,960 Yeah, so me, it had actually been a problem for a while. 244 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,360 I started drinking heavily after high school. 245 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,880 I actually took my first drink when I was 14. 246 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,320 I remember, and now that I'm 26, 247 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,960 I'm like really done a lot of soul searching 248 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,480 over the last year and a lot of dipping into my childhood 249 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,480 and figuring out who I was and everything. 250 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,920 And I think the reason that I picked up the drink 251 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,640 in the first place was just to finally get this feeling 252 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:59,280 of acceptance from my dad, you know. 253 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,960 I had spent my whole life, you know, 254 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,120 going from a biological family to now an adopted family. 255 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,360 And I just wanted acceptance from somebody, you know. 256 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,520 So I thought maybe, you know, 257 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,160 drinking with him would be that. 258 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:12,520 Turns out it wasn't. 259 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:17,520 It actually just stemmed a whole slew of alcohol, 260 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,360 alcoholism for me in my life. 261 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,400 And after high school, I had started drinking a lot, 262 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:24,320 partying a lot. 263 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:26,840 I was doing different drugs and popping pills 264 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,440 and different stuff like that. 265 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,680 Were you in the music, were you performing then or? 266 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:31,840 No, I wasn't actually. 267 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,320 I was, so throughout high school, 268 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,520 I was really involved in the arts department. 269 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,600 I did the musicals and I was really involved in choir. 270 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,960 That's why I learned all of my vocal, 271 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,520 all my vocal coaching and everything was in choir. 272 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,960 And I thought for sure I wanted to be a music teacher. 273 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:51,160 My senior year, I took a internship with my choir teacher 274 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,480 and I learned real quick that maybe this isn't for me. 275 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,520 It's a little bit too complicated. 276 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,640 And then after high school, 277 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,080 I was like, found like, what am I gonna do with my life? 278 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,880 So that's when I joined the medical field 279 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,080 and did the CNA thing. 280 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,360 And then I jumped around the kitchens 281 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,720 and all in the midst of drinking and partying 282 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,280 with all of my buddies and stuff, 283 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,000 buddies of which that I don't have anymore 284 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,120 because it was like, as soon as I quit drinking, 285 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:17,960 they were like, well, we don't want to. 286 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,160 Isn't that amazing how it is? 287 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:22,200 And I wonder too, the environment you lived in, 288 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,120 I mean, you live at a resort area, a lake. 289 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,400 I wonder if that contributed to a lot of people on vacation. 290 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,480 I was actually, at the time I was actually living homeless 291 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,960 in my van. 292 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:32,800 Okay. 293 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,160 So I was, my parents had kicked me out. 294 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:40,840 This was in 2017, 2018. 295 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:44,360 And I was homeless living out behind Happy Coffee 296 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,280 in Bedford, it was a little coffee shop. 297 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,720 And I was actually working at Happy Coffee. 298 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,320 They didn't know that I was living behind the shop 299 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,240 in my van every night. 300 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,240 Every morning I'd get up and I'd run down to Bedford 301 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,800 YMCA and I'd take a shower real quick. 302 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:01,920 I had a membership down there. 303 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,400 I'd take a shower, brush my teeth. 304 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,000 And I'd go run down to Happy Coffee, 305 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,120 open up the shop for the day. 306 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,040 And they found out I was living in my van behind the shop 307 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,360 and the owners actually offered me a room in their house 308 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,080 to kind of help me get back up on my feet. 309 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,280 And they were letting me work for them while, 310 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,720 pay them rent and everything. 311 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,800 And long story short with that, 312 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,880 they actually ended up scamming all of us 313 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,320 and running off to El Salvador. 314 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,040 Oh wow, oh no. 315 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,080 That's a whole nother story. 316 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:32,920 Wow. 317 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,640 But that was actually all in the midst 318 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,280 of when I met my wife, Amy. 319 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,400 She was a regular at the coffee shop. 320 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,720 She did not like me at all. 321 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,720 Not many people did when I was in the height of my drinking, 322 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,800 which is understandable. 323 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,760 It took a little bit of coming around for her, 324 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,760 but we actually started living together. 325 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,280 We started dating within, 326 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,880 I think it was like two to three months 327 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,920 after meeting each other. 328 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,280 So I pulled on her heartstrings a little bit, I guess. 329 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,840 And then we moved in together 330 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,360 and that's when everything kind of flipped upside down 331 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,800 with the coffee shop being sold 332 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,200 and they scammed us and ran off. 333 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,560 So we were actually homeless. 334 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:17,320 She moved in with me at their house 335 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:21,040 and we were like, where the heck are we both gonna go now? 336 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,200 So her family actually brought us in. 337 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,640 Her mom and dad brought us in 338 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,480 and let us live with them for about a year, I think it was, 339 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,280 until we finally got up on our feet and got our own place. 340 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,600 But it was in that year, about that year, year and a half, 341 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:40,480 when I was still drinking hard and partying hard. 342 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,040 And I actually pulled Amy into a little bit of that lifestyle, 343 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,640 which I kick myself all the time still for. 344 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:51,040 I still work on the forgiveness aspect on my side, 345 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,120 forgiving myself. 346 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:57,120 But it was in that year and a half span 347 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:02,200 that things got really bad and I started getting just, 348 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,400 I was not the same person. 349 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:08,440 Every time I drank, I'd get angry and aggressive 350 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:13,440 and it was just, I became a spitting image of my dad. 351 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,200 Isn't that amazing how things, we just, 352 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,840 we model what we learn. 353 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:18,680 Right, it's all- 354 00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,120 We don't like it, we try it, we copy it. 355 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,200 Not to say that it was my dad's fault in any way, 356 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,600 because it's not, that's my choice. 357 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,920 It was my choice to pick up on. 358 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,880 But that's what you knew, that was your reality. 359 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:34,360 Exactly, and that was the moment that I realized, 360 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:38,160 like, look, I found myself waking up 361 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,960 in my buddy Dave's camper one morning. 362 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,200 I didn't know how I got there, 363 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,560 I didn't know what had happened, 364 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,600 and then I find out that I had actually gotten 365 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,760 into a huge argument with Amy's family 366 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,960 and things went sideways and found myself 367 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,040 homeless again, rock bottom. 368 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,080 There's my rock bottom moment. 369 00:15:55,080 --> 00:16:00,080 And I spent the next month just working to the bone, 370 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:07,040 getting myself straight and talking with her family 371 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,440 and pleading with them and apologizing and everything. 372 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:15,040 And by some grace, they gave me a second chance. 373 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:20,040 And here I am today now, just being able to say that, 374 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:23,120 thank you to them for giving me that second chance. 375 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:23,960 Right. 376 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,160 Sometimes that's really, and now I see why they say that, 377 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:32,000 sometimes that's really all anybody with addiction needs, 378 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,280 is we just need that second chance 379 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,520 to really show you that we can. 380 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,080 And sometimes a third and a fourth, and- 381 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:39,920 Right. 382 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,760 It's not an easy journey. 383 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,400 I know other people that have been in your situation 384 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:47,880 a lot older and with a lot more at stake in life, 385 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,360 not that you weren't, that ended up homeless. 386 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:51,240 Right. 387 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,280 Because of addiction. 388 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,440 And it's a disease, it's a scary disease. 389 00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:01,160 And society feeds it very well. 390 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,920 There's somebody I know, my niece follows, 391 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,600 it does a blog about, she's stopped drinking. 392 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,960 And it's interesting, you have your extreme young 393 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,000 doing tons and just partying nonstop 394 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,160 to a lot of women, not to categorize, 395 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,280 but I know that just come home from work, 396 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,840 it's been a stressful day to have a drink, 397 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,720 and there's a bottle of wine, and then it's an issue. 398 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,000 So this person has a blog and she talks about 399 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:27,600 how society makes drinking okay, and it's part of society. 400 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,200 Like, let's go out to dinner and have a drink, 401 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,160 let's go to a winery, let's go listen to music 402 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,120 and have a drink, it's been a hard day. 403 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,880 Today is St. Patrick's Day. 404 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,200 When we're recording this, you know- 405 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,560 I literally said to my wife last night, I said, 406 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,560 look, St. Patrick's Day is like the day that 407 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:47,320 everyone is just okay with drinking all day long, 408 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,080 and no one says anything about it. 409 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:53,800 No, and so, I mean, it's so prevalent that that's accepted. 410 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,800 You know, and if you don't drink, 411 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,880 people are like, what's wrong with you? 412 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:02,000 I get it all the time, especially people my age. 413 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,840 Like, I have very few friends my age. 414 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:11,360 Most of my friends circle are people 40 and above. 415 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:14,000 Because it's like kids, people my age, 416 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,200 they're just like, they don't wanna hang out with me 417 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,040 because I don't drink. 418 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,000 No, they don't think life can be fun if you're not drunk. 419 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:20,960 Right. 420 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,120 And I know people like that. 421 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:26,480 Like, you know, I will say, I don't drink a lot, 422 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,280 but I drink, but I'm like, I'm good with one good cocktail 423 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:30,280 and I'm done. 424 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:34,360 Like, I don't like the feeling of not being in control. 425 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,560 And I love the, I mean, I will go out 426 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,400 and enjoy a drink or two, but- 427 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,400 I just recently found this whole shloof non-alcoholic beers. 428 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,240 Oh yeah. 429 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,520 I didn't even know that was a thing. 430 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:46,360 And I'm just like, wow. 431 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,440 There's a bunch of non-alcoholic beers 432 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,320 and there's a bunch of mocktails. 433 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,160 Right. 434 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,200 The bar is just open in DC, it's just a mocktail bar. 435 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,680 So when we came up, my first band show this year 436 00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:01,120 was at Capitol Hill House, the Richmond Music Hall, 437 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,080 this year in January. 438 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,240 And we came up there and I actually tried 439 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:08,560 my first non-alcoholic beer at Capitol Hill House. 440 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,480 And it was like mind blowing. 441 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,960 I was like, wow, I actually can like, you know, 442 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,400 walk around the bar and people not give me funny looks. 443 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:21,640 And I still am not actually drinking alcohol. 444 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:22,680 This is really cool. 445 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:23,680 I was like, wow. 446 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,240 There's a funny story about that. 447 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,760 So they've had non-alcoholic beers 448 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,760 for years and years and years. 449 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,560 And I was with a friend one day 450 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,560 and he was drinking way too much. 451 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,240 And so he went to the restroom and I told the bartender 452 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,320 to start giving non-alcoholic beers. 453 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,160 Chicken, chicken. 454 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,800 And he had no idea. 455 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,920 But going back to the society 456 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,040 and how it's so normal to talk about drinking, 457 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,240 my youngest sister has Down syndrome. 458 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:46,720 Doesn't drink, never really. 459 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,480 I mean, she's had a few sips here and there, 460 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,720 but it'll be interesting. 461 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,200 She's 40 now and it'll be, she'll go, 462 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,320 oh, I had a hard day or it's happy hour. 463 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,400 I needed, and she'll go, I need a drink. 464 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,560 I'm like, you know, she just hears that, modeled. 465 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,600 And so she's not that she's ever gonna have one, 466 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,520 but that's her, what she says. 467 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:05,400 Interesting. 468 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,000 So when did you start playing music? 469 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,400 Oh man, music for me? 470 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,040 Was Amy a musician when you met her or did she? 471 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,320 Amy is a musician, yes. 472 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:19,080 So she, her and her whole family are musicians. 473 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,360 They're really heavy into bluegrass music. 474 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,560 They, when I met Amy, she was playing with her family. 475 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:29,080 I actually kind of stole their bass player a little bit. 476 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:29,920 Sorry, Ricky. 477 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,280 But they were playing in a family band. 478 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,720 They have a amazing family bluegrass band 479 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,040 that they've done for years. 480 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:42,600 Ricky's been playing music his whole life since he was 11, 481 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,560 I think is when he won his first mandolin competition. 482 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,000 But for me, music started when I was, 483 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:56,040 I was in fifth grade and my school did a Greece musical 484 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,200 and I was one of the Greece boys in that. 485 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:02,320 We performed that and then right after that, 486 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,160 or that was fourth grade and then fifth grade, 487 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,960 my, one of the cafeteria ladies invited me 488 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,320 to the summer program down at the church, 489 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,720 the local church in Huddleston 490 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,680 for their musical program that they were putting on. 491 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,640 And that was when I kind of fell in love 492 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,500 with the whole like performing, 493 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,280 the performing arts thing was a very young age. 494 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,880 And I got on stage with them 495 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,960 and I just really, I really fell in love with it. 496 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,360 So I stuck with it. 497 00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:34,800 I started learning guitar when I was 10 years old. 498 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,960 I had gotten A's, straight A's on my report card. 499 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,520 And this is one of those good memories 500 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:40,960 that I have from my childhood. 501 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,240 I got straight A's on my report card 502 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,080 and my mom said, all right, well, here's a hundred dollars. 503 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,160 You can go buy whatever you want. 504 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,040 So we went to the pawn shop in Bedford 505 00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,600 and it was this really old beat up New York pro 506 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,620 off-brand classical guitar. 507 00:21:57,620 --> 00:22:00,240 Didn't even have all strings on it. 508 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,840 And I was like, that's what I want. 509 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,160 I want that guitar right there. 510 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,840 And it was $75 guitar and I bought it, 511 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:06,840 put new strings on it. 512 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,500 And my mom got me lessons 513 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:10,640 and I took lessons for about a month. 514 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,360 Learned like pretty much the bass chords and everything. 515 00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:16,400 And just kind of took it from there myself. 516 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,820 And I started picking in the church bands 517 00:22:19,820 --> 00:22:20,840 down at Huddleston. 518 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,280 I was the praise and worship leader for them for a while. 519 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,280 And then throughout middle school and high school 520 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,720 is when I started jamming with buddies and stuff 521 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,000 outside of school. 522 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,240 And then throughout high school 523 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,160 is when I did all the musicals 524 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,400 and I was really big in choir. 525 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,340 I did district choir and all state choir. 526 00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:45,600 And I did honors choir my senior year. 527 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,560 I was ranked first in the state for tenor one 528 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:53,080 and tenor two, my junior and senior year. 529 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,120 So that was really cool. 530 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:57,580 I had those metals still hanging in my room. 531 00:22:57,580 --> 00:23:01,440 And then everything just kind of fell off for me after that. 532 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,280 That was when I started drinking a lot 533 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,760 and I lost my passion for music 534 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,000 till I met my wife and her family. 535 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,400 And they, I just think it was the universe, man. 536 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,200 The universe was bringing me right back into music 537 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,560 and they knew what I needed. 538 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:20,960 And now I'm going on my fourth year sober 539 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,820 and it's because of the Ellis family 540 00:23:22,820 --> 00:23:24,080 that I got back into music. 541 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:28,520 I remember every morning waking up with Amy 542 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,160 at her parents' house when we were living with her parents. 543 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,080 And every morning I'd wake up and I'd hear Ricky downstairs 544 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:38,320 playing a banjo or a mandolin or a guitar or something. 545 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,040 I'd hear him playing some kind of instrument 546 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,480 and I had to go down and I had to play with him. 547 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,800 So that was just kind of, you know, 548 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,800 the universe pulling me right back into it. 549 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,880 And I'm forever, forever in debt to them 550 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:54,480 for just bringing me in and getting me back on my feet. 551 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,520 Yeah, great story. 552 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,560 And I've kind of followed you on social media, 553 00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,400 seeing you down there. 554 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,920 And I know you and Amy just got married last year. 555 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,320 Yep, in October last year, yeah. 556 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,600 Yeah, did you get married on Dave's Doc or it was originally? 557 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,040 We were originally gonna get married on Dave's Doc, 558 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,200 but that was right in the middle of Hurricane Ian. 559 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,240 So Hurricane Ian happened and we were like, 560 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,240 frantically like, what are we gonna do? 561 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,060 The week of the wedding. 562 00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:23,660 Actually, I say we as if it was both of us. 563 00:24:23,660 --> 00:24:25,580 It was me freaking out. 564 00:24:25,580 --> 00:24:27,900 Amy was actually calm as could be. 565 00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:31,020 She was like, it's okay, we're gonna be fine. 566 00:24:31,020 --> 00:24:35,140 Cause my drummer for the band for Christian Q and the Groove, 567 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:39,900 John, his family actually is, it's now open, 568 00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:44,900 but they own Old Town Social House in Rocky Mount, Virginia 569 00:24:45,340 --> 00:24:46,940 that just recently opened up. 570 00:24:46,940 --> 00:24:49,140 And at the time when we were getting married, 571 00:24:49,140 --> 00:24:51,740 they were like in the process of getting it all, 572 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:55,440 finalized the building and getting everything set up 573 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,360 to get ready to open in the new year. 574 00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:01,420 And they were just like, look, we've got this space. 575 00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:04,620 It's got a bunch of old vintage furniture. 576 00:25:04,620 --> 00:25:07,400 You can totally decorate it out for your whole wedding. 577 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,960 If you want to, you can use it, here you go. 578 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,060 And they saved the whole wedding day. 579 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,340 So it turned out great. 580 00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:17,740 Yeah, I love your style. 581 00:25:17,740 --> 00:25:20,320 Then we went to Oakdale, Ohio. 582 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,240 Yeah, definitely. 583 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,300 Yeah, cool. 584 00:25:23,300 --> 00:25:26,220 So, and I love that it sounds like, you know, 585 00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:29,880 you were adopted and went through rough times, 586 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:34,860 but the community really helped establish who you are. 587 00:25:34,860 --> 00:25:38,620 I know you're very close with Dave Owens and- 588 00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,620 If it wasn't for that man, 589 00:25:40,620 --> 00:25:43,420 I wouldn't be out in the music scene. 590 00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:46,180 Yeah, and I remember going years ago, 591 00:25:46,180 --> 00:25:48,620 we would, my friend and I would take the boat 592 00:25:48,620 --> 00:25:51,940 and he knew and another friend, several friends knew Dave. 593 00:25:51,940 --> 00:25:56,900 And I remember many a days sitting at the dock, him playing 594 00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:57,740 and just jamming. 595 00:25:57,740 --> 00:25:59,100 It's funny, my friends that, 596 00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,500 some friends that live at the lake, they're like, yeah, 597 00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:03,940 they started doing this music on the dock because of COVID. 598 00:26:03,940 --> 00:26:05,540 I'm like, oh no, no, no, no. 599 00:26:05,540 --> 00:26:07,260 Oh no. 600 00:26:07,260 --> 00:26:10,460 And my friend Sando was at Bernard 601 00:26:10,460 --> 00:26:12,220 and we could be sitting on the balcony. 602 00:26:12,220 --> 00:26:13,620 Yeah, you could hear it. 603 00:26:13,620 --> 00:26:14,460 That's what we know. 604 00:26:14,460 --> 00:26:15,740 Well, we could hear, 605 00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:18,260 but he would say, oh, Dave's doors are open. 606 00:26:18,260 --> 00:26:19,100 We should go over there. 607 00:26:19,100 --> 00:26:19,920 They're playing. 608 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:20,760 They're getting ready to jam. 609 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,060 Like he could see across the lake 610 00:26:23,060 --> 00:26:25,260 if the door was open to the boat house. 611 00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:27,940 Well, I can promise you now you can hear it. 612 00:26:27,940 --> 00:26:29,020 Oh, absolutely. 613 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:32,500 So Labor Day and I love that you guys do the concerts. 614 00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:33,340 So this is kind of fun. 615 00:26:33,340 --> 00:26:35,580 If anybody's listening or watching 616 00:26:35,580 --> 00:26:37,660 and you spend time at Smiths on Lake, 617 00:26:37,660 --> 00:26:40,060 they do, you still gonna do it this year, the concerts? 618 00:26:40,060 --> 00:26:41,020 Yes ma'am, we got three. 619 00:26:41,020 --> 00:26:43,100 We were actually talking about it this morning. 620 00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:43,940 It's so fun to bring it up. 621 00:26:43,940 --> 00:26:44,760 So much fun. 622 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,740 So Memorial Day, Labor Day and 4th of July, 623 00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:49,620 the Sunday of those holiday weekends, 624 00:26:49,620 --> 00:26:53,380 they jam on the dock at Dave's house. 625 00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:55,700 Right back marker R8. 626 00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:56,540 Okay. 627 00:26:56,540 --> 00:26:58,460 I don't know where, I just know where it is on the lake. 628 00:26:58,460 --> 00:26:59,300 Well, it's funny. 629 00:26:59,300 --> 00:27:00,860 If you're a lake person, you know what that means. 630 00:27:00,860 --> 00:27:01,700 Okay. 631 00:27:01,700 --> 00:27:04,060 So I had a friend of mine last year that was there 632 00:27:04,060 --> 00:27:06,340 staying at Bernard's and we were texting back and forth. 633 00:27:06,340 --> 00:27:07,380 And I know she's into music. 634 00:27:07,380 --> 00:27:08,980 I'm like, oh, you gotta go here around, 635 00:27:08,980 --> 00:27:09,940 take your boat over there. 636 00:27:09,940 --> 00:27:12,460 And she went, she's like, this is the coolest thing. 637 00:27:12,460 --> 00:27:16,860 But there were probably two, 300 people, boats everywhere. 638 00:27:16,860 --> 00:27:18,700 We've pulled up and Hannah and her friends, 639 00:27:18,700 --> 00:27:21,660 which I remember Hannah when she was a little girl. 640 00:27:21,660 --> 00:27:23,900 Hannah and us jello shots, but we were there, 641 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:27,260 I guess Labor Day and left before you guys were done 642 00:27:27,260 --> 00:27:30,460 and went back to the dock and we were across near Bernard's 643 00:27:30,460 --> 00:27:32,780 and docked the boat. 644 00:27:32,780 --> 00:27:35,900 And I'm like, we can hear them all over here 645 00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:36,940 than it was over there. 646 00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:40,780 So yeah, so that's a fun thing. 647 00:27:40,780 --> 00:27:44,140 So, but I love, Dave is definitely the father figure 648 00:27:44,140 --> 00:27:44,980 and I've watched him. 649 00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:45,820 Definitely. 650 00:27:45,820 --> 00:27:47,180 Watched your story with him. 651 00:27:47,180 --> 00:27:51,180 And we need people to guide us 652 00:27:51,180 --> 00:27:56,180 when we don't have our own parents or role models. 653 00:27:57,260 --> 00:27:58,700 That's right. 654 00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:03,700 So I know you've got a bright future ahead of you. 655 00:28:03,820 --> 00:28:04,780 Lots of great things. 656 00:28:04,780 --> 00:28:08,200 So anything you would share to encourage somebody else 657 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:09,660 to be courageous? 658 00:28:09,660 --> 00:28:11,540 Just be yourself. 659 00:28:11,540 --> 00:28:15,260 That's one thing I've learned most important 660 00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:16,940 and especially, I don't know, I've done, 661 00:28:16,940 --> 00:28:18,580 like I said, I've done a lot of soul searching 662 00:28:18,580 --> 00:28:20,660 in the last, really in the last six months. 663 00:28:20,660 --> 00:28:22,940 I'm almost on the verge of tears 664 00:28:22,940 --> 00:28:24,820 because I've spent a lot of time 665 00:28:26,380 --> 00:28:28,500 in the last six months to a year, 666 00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:31,260 just really searching myself 667 00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:34,860 and diving back into my childhood memories. 668 00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:39,500 And it's taken a lot for me to realize 669 00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:44,500 I'm 26 years old and I had no idea who I was until now. 670 00:28:46,540 --> 00:28:48,660 And sorry. 671 00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:50,540 Okay. 672 00:28:53,860 --> 00:28:56,060 It's a journey and it takes courage. 673 00:28:56,060 --> 00:28:58,020 Whoops, I lost him. 674 00:28:58,020 --> 00:28:58,860 Uh-oh. 675 00:29:00,140 --> 00:29:01,540 Hopefully we can get him back in here. 676 00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:02,540 Hold on. 677 00:29:06,100 --> 00:29:07,900 All right, so I'm gonna kill some time here. 678 00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:11,980 So Kristen got a little choked up and left my screen. 679 00:29:11,980 --> 00:29:14,900 We've been having lots of technology issues. 680 00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:17,500 So I will hope he comes back on. 681 00:29:19,100 --> 00:29:21,660 But meantime, we're almost done, so that's good. 682 00:29:21,660 --> 00:29:25,380 But I always try to tie this back to my dad. 683 00:29:25,380 --> 00:29:28,180 Now, of course, Christian never met my dad, 684 00:29:28,180 --> 00:29:31,700 but his story has a lot of similarities 685 00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:36,820 and a lot of coincidences. 686 00:29:36,820 --> 00:29:38,260 Like my dad grew up in California, 687 00:29:38,260 --> 00:29:39,980 moved to the East Coast, and I could say that. 688 00:29:39,980 --> 00:29:44,660 But I think the biggest thing is not tying Christian, 689 00:29:44,660 --> 00:29:47,380 but tying Christian's life, 690 00:29:47,380 --> 00:29:50,500 that my dad was one of those people, 691 00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:52,740 it sounds like Dave Owens was, to Christian. 692 00:29:52,740 --> 00:29:56,940 And my dad helped a lot of people that were struggling 693 00:29:56,940 --> 00:30:00,340 to help them turn their life around. 694 00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:01,380 He was the father figure. 695 00:30:01,380 --> 00:30:03,860 I know I have friends that say they had more conversations 696 00:30:03,860 --> 00:30:06,420 with my father than they ever did their own father. 697 00:30:06,420 --> 00:30:11,380 And so I think that ties in my dad, 698 00:30:11,380 --> 00:30:16,380 to my dad so much that, yeah, Christian took a village 699 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:18,100 and he's only 26. 700 00:30:18,100 --> 00:30:19,900 He has such a big life ahead of him, 701 00:30:19,900 --> 00:30:21,300 such a journey ahead of him. 702 00:30:22,740 --> 00:30:27,740 So sorry, he got off, I know he's having internet issues. 703 00:30:28,380 --> 00:30:29,860 But as I said, we're almost done. 704 00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:32,100 So I'm gonna finish up now. 705 00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:34,860 We may have a second recording I'll add as an addendum 706 00:30:34,860 --> 00:30:36,660 to this if he comes back in. 707 00:30:36,660 --> 00:30:38,900 But I wanna thank Christian for being my guest, 708 00:30:38,900 --> 00:30:40,860 for being open and sharing his story. 709 00:30:41,780 --> 00:30:43,260 And I hope this gives other people hope. 710 00:30:43,260 --> 00:30:46,420 And if you are struggling or know somebody struggling 711 00:30:46,420 --> 00:30:48,100 to get help and there's a better life, 712 00:30:48,100 --> 00:30:50,580 and if you're on the journey for music 713 00:30:50,580 --> 00:30:54,220 and you, be you and do what makes you happy. 714 00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:56,700 And you can make a difference and touch people's life. 715 00:30:56,700 --> 00:30:59,300 So Christian does have a song that he wrote 716 00:31:00,580 --> 00:31:03,380 that is about his journey and becoming sober. 717 00:31:03,380 --> 00:31:06,380 And so I can share that too in the show notes. 718 00:31:06,380 --> 00:31:08,140 So thanks again for listening. 719 00:31:09,140 --> 00:31:13,620 I'm excited, this is our second year as a podcast. 720 00:31:13,620 --> 00:31:16,780 And it's been exciting to hear Christian's story. 721 00:31:16,780 --> 00:31:19,220 Please encourage somebody else to listen. 722 00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:23,540 We're on all the platforms, iTunes, Spotify, 723 00:31:23,540 --> 00:31:26,260 like us, review us if you wouldn't mind. 724 00:31:26,260 --> 00:31:27,700 Check out the website. 725 00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:31,940 And yeah, thanks for being a listener of Why Not Today 726 00:31:31,940 --> 00:31:35,820 and just say, why not today, anything is possible. 727 00:31:35,820 --> 00:31:37,460 All right, thanks again, Christian. 728 00:31:37,460 --> 00:32:02,060 And it was a great episode, bye.