Hello, this is Leslie and I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast.
This is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, why not today?
I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Kane, who often did say, why not today?
I'm based in Reston, Virginia, a Planned community right outside of Washington, DC, and thanks
for joining us today.
And this is our anniversary issue.
It's hard to believe it's been a year since I started this.
We've had a recording episode every two weeks since.
And so I thought, since it's our anniversary, how appropriate would it be to include one
of my siblings?
So I have my brother, my youngest brother, Chris, joining me today.
So I'm excited to hear his or have him share courageous stories and maybe we'll throw in
some courageous stories of my dad.
But I always talk about where we met and where we connected.
It's kind of easy with Chris because he's five years younger than me.
But I do, it's funny, I do remember Chris, that the day that they brought you home from
the hospital, they picked me up from Lank and you were there.
I'm like, another one?
You were number four.
Another one.
And there's two more.
I know, I had to share my reign with everybody.
But I'm excited to have you on and just have a conversation about courage.
So Chris, why don't you introduce yourself?
Tell us where you live and what you do and a fun fact about you that nobody might know.
Hopefully I know it.
Well, I don't know, maybe you do, maybe you don't.
So I'm Leslie's brother.
So that's who I am.
Born and raised in Reston and then Sterling.
So I didn't go very far until about a year and a half ago.
So I now live in Denver, Colorado.
Been wanting to get out here for a long time.
So we finally did it.
What do I do?
I am in technology sales.
I've been in cybersecurity sales for the last five years, working for a company that's headquartered
in California.
And yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I'm your brother and you know a lot about me.
So a fun fact.
So I was married in an Elvis wedding chapel in Las Vegas on Elvis's birthday.
It was your renewing of your vows, not your initial marriage.
Correct.
Same woman.
Good.
Unmarried, then remarried, just married and did it for fun.
She shares the same birthday as Elvis.
So it was her birthday and Elvis's birthday and we renewed our vows in Vegas and it was
quite comical.
That is pretty funny.
And of all my siblings, I would probably think you were the least likely to do something
like that.
I would agree with you.
So well, I know you've listened to several of my podcasts and given me some advice on
it, which I definitely appreciate.
So let's start with what does courage mean to you?
So I actually had to look it up in the dictionary to see what courage means.
What does the dictionary say?
So according to Merriam-Webster, courage is mental or moral strength to venture, persevere
and withstand danger, fear or difficulty.
Wow.
Yeah.
That sounds like big and scary.
It does.
So what does it mean to you?
So it's funny.
You asked me about doing this and I was thinking about, all right, how do I answer this question?
I think it is being willing to push yourself, get out of your comfort zone a little bit
maybe, but also just being willing to do whatever you think is that thing.
So for example, I've always wanted to move out west towards the mountains and Deirdre
and I got close twice.
It didn't happen and life circumstances presented itself and a year and a half, actually two
years ago about this time and it worked out and we were like, screw it, let's go.
So I don't think of courage as this big lofty thing and I fought a bear or something crazy
like that or I jumped off a cliff, but I think it's more practical.
Just being willing to do it and listening to some of your episodes before, it's like
people made career choices or other life choices.
To me, I think it's if you keep it at a simple or more basic level of is there something
you wanted to do that was stretching you and then were you willing to do it and put in
the effort and follow through?
Yeah, absolutely.
In all the episodes I've had, we've had people doing big courageous things and little courageous
things and everything in between and sometimes it was just step by step courage, just taking
the next step.
I talked to somebody the other day, she goes, I haven't done anything courageous.
I'm like, yeah, you have.
We all have.
It's not always jumping off a building or jumping out of an airplane kind of courage.
It says little things and doing the things that make you happy.
Colorado was a big move for our family just because we've always been local.
I remember when you moved from Reston to Sterling.
Oh my gosh, I was thinking about that actually.
That was like.
I think that was a bigger move and by the way, people listening Sterling from Reston
is maybe five miles, eight.
Maybe six.
I remember you moving there and it's like, oh, we got to get shots and a passport and
pack our bags and now ironically everybody else is out of Reston.
I'm the only one that's still there.
So yeah, courage is all kinds of things and definitely took courage to move your family
out there and to start a new life and but I know that's always been on your radar.
Just finally, it was the right time.
Yes it was.
By the way, I have jumped out of an airplane.
I know you have.
I don't want to do it again though.
Wasn't that much fun?
Somebody asked me the other day, she's turning 50 and she wanted to do it and she wanted
me to, she said something to me about doing that.
I'm like, enjoy.
That is not on my bucket list.
Yeah, I remember when you do that and it was nobody knew until after the fact.
So luckily you were okay.
It's good.
Yes.
So I know you've done other courageous things in your life.
I know we talked about one a minute ago, which was big courage of lots of training and lots
of commitments.
You want to talk about Iron Man?
Yep.
So for the longest time I had actually I saw the Iron Man on TV, like when we were kids,
I guess when they first started doing it.
It was like on ABC Wide World of Sports, like even before ESPN and all that stuff.
So I saw it and I was like, oh, okay, that's pretty cool.
And then started doing triathlons and our friends, the Conrad's got me into that.
So doing that, but I always had doing an Iron Man on my list.
And for those who are listening that don't know what Iron Man is, it's a triathlon.
So it's a triathlon.
It's a swim, bike and a run, but the Iron Man distance, it is a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile
bike ride and a full marathon, 26.2 miles.
So it's 140.6 miles in one day.
So anyways, it was on the list.
I honestly part of getting to the point of doing it was one of my neighbors, he did triathlons.
We started training together.
He wanted to do it.
He was one of those.
He encouraged me or nudged me.
I nudged him and we both said, screw it, let's do it.
So it's something that is doable for a lot of people.
It just takes a lot of work and a lot of commitment, a lot of early mornings, a lot of lunchtime
workouts.
So it's a lot to do, but you can do it if you put your mind to it.
So I've done it twice.
I thought I wanted to do three in my 40s, two in my 50s and one in my 60s.
What happened to that one?
Is that still on the radar or is that shifted?
So after two, I decided it just was, I don't know, I lost enough interest or my interest
shift where I didn't want to commit that kind of time.
So I mean, it's just a lot of work.
Back to the whole of what does courage mean and all that.
It's like, okay, to me, that's not like jumping out of a plane building, fighting a bear kind
of courage.
It's, I think, looking at the definition of Merriam-Webster.
Can you persevere through something that's challenging or difficult?
So training's hard.
There's definitely days it was like, okay, I do not want to meet my training partner
at the corner at six o'clock in the morning on a Saturday, go for a six hour bike ride
and then come home and coach my kids lacrosse game.
But it was cool.
I mean, it's super exciting.
It's hard.
The first time I did it, I was extremely nervous and paranoid about screwing up, about getting
hurt.
I mean, there's danger involved, right?
You start to swim with 2000 people that just start swimming at once.
So that's kind of sketchy.
But I was more nervous about like, okay, can I do it?
Did I eat enough?
Did I drink enough?
And all the hydration stuff.
So fortunately, the first time was, it wasn't easy by any means, but it worked out probably
as well as I could have hoped.
I had a time goal.
I felt pretty good throughout.
I didn't feel awful afterwards.
And when you finished, it's like, it's super cool.
Someone who's seen it on TV, there's the announcer, this MC, who probably doesn't do it anymore,
but really famous statement of Leslie Kane, you are an Ironman as you cross finish line.
So it's super cool.
So it was super exciting and fun and hard and all that.
And I think the interesting part was the second time I did it.
So my training partner got injured.
So I ended up doing it by myself, which a lot of training by myself, which was super
hard.
But when I was during the race, I was feeling good on the swim, felt really good on the
bike.
And I ran out of gas on the run about mile 11 or 12, which meant I had about 14 more
to go.
And I literally would walk a couple hundred yards and then maybe run a hundred yards and
then walk a couple hundred yards and then maybe run.
And I was not feeling good.
I totally out of gas.
Thought to myself, okay, what am I doing this stupid thing for?
I'm going to quit.
And that takes courage to keep going.
I had a lot of mental arguments over this.
14 miles.
That's a long way to go.
And it's like, okay, holy crap, how am I going to get this done?
So it was hard for sure.
Interestingly enough, what helped, I don't want to say it saved me, but definitely helped
me was on the race course, they serve all kinds of stuff, power bars, cliff bars, all
kinds of bars, drinks and stuff.
One of the things that they serve is warm chicken broth.
So the first time I did it, I'm thinking, why are they handing out chicken broth?
I don't get it.
Well, I found out the second time I did it because after a while of sucking down goo
and Gatorade and energy bars, your body doesn't want that junk anymore.
So I tried some chicken broth once I could kind of choke it down.
And really what it does, it's got sodium.
So it really helped replenish.
So it was pretty amazing.
Anyways, I didn't either.
So I got to the point where I could walk a little further than run a little further than
run a little further.
So long story short, the second time took almost an hour and a half longer than the
first time because the last 14 miles or so I was really struggling.
And it was tough.
I mean, honestly, by the time I finished and crossed the finish line, I probably should
have went into the medical tent and got an IV.
And so it was pretty hard.
But while I was out there and I'd done all the training, the one thing I wanted to do
was not finish.
So it was definitely taxing physically because I completely ran out of gas.
But anytime I think you get into particularly sort of an endurance event like that, it's
more mental than it is physical at some point.
So yeah.
So lots of things you said about that is great.
Just even saying you're going to do it and putting out there and then people are kind
of watching and asking, are you doing it or you're not.
And probably some people are expecting you to maybe back out like, okay, that's pretty
big.
And then I don't remember your second one as much as I do remember a lot about your
first one.
First I remember you did the Marine Corps Marathon and we went and watched that.
And just watching that, like I am not a runner.
And I watched that and I'm like, wow, maybe I could do that.
I mean, just the excitement and the cheering people on and the adrenaline and the spirit
of that was like, okay, maybe I could do that.
Never did and I have no desire.
But then I remember you training for your first Ironman.
I remember us being at the beach.
Oh yeah.
I was going to take the kids to get donuts or something.
And we pass you and it's pouring down rain and you're running and running and running.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, on vacation, he's getting up with the cracket on and still running.
And it was, I remember a lot of training and a lot of commitment and raising kids that
were pretty young at that point.
That was a lot of commitment to have to do that and getting up early.
And I think it takes the courage to get out of bed and just put your shoes on and get
out the door and finish.
Well, I got to a point where I just would, my alarm would go off and I would stand up
and start moving before I realized what was happening.
Yeah.
I know somebody who talks about getting up and getting motivated in the morning.
She says, hashtag just go pee.
Just get up and start the movement.
And then you just go to the next step and the next step.
But then I remember when you did the Ironman and we were tracking it and watching it on
our phones where you were.
And I remember it was nerve wracking to watch and just scary to make worried that you were
going to be okay.
I know mom was a mess when you finished.
She was, I think started crying because she was like so happy that you're okay.
You know, because that is a lot.
And you said the mental, I think the courage thing, it's the mental, it's jumping out of
the plane.
It's like getting the courage to jump and how often you hear they just push you because
you're ready that far.
Yep.
Yeah.
No, I mean, it was definitely cool.
Super hard.
Well, as I said, I had aspirations to do more, but I'm on to other things.
Yeah.
Good for you.
Maybe a 207 mile bike ride is next on the radar.
Oh, wow.
So I'm really surprised your super competitive brother didn't do it with you.
Yeah.
I'll let you ask.
You'll let you ask him about that.
Okay.
I'll let you ask him if I get him on here.
So other things you can think of you've done courageous or in life seem courageous?
I mean, sure.
You know, I mean, I think there's lots of little things, nothing that stands out.
I mean, as I said earlier, to me, I think people get locked in this idea of, you know,
courage.
What does that really mean?
So I guess as I've been thinking about this and doing this podcast with you, just to me,
it's a much more simple, basic thing of, are you willing, as I said earlier, to either
push yourself out of your comfort zone or just push yourself and then commit to achieving
whatever you're pushing towards.
So I think there's elements of my life that I think are very deliberate and maybe more
conservative and then there's elements where it's like, okay, yeah, I'll try an Iron Man
or I'll try this or I'll do that.
So yeah, it's definitely I think the little steps.
And I think that's what I hope this podcast has given people is encouragement.
Like somebody listening might think there's no way I can do an Iron Man, but they might
do a 5k.
I was involved with the woman's training program a couple of years ago and they did an all
women's 5k.
And there was a woman that, so it was all women doing it and I was kind of helping out.
And so there were people all on the route, cheering people on with signs.
And there was a woman that, I mean, she walked the whole thing.
I think she had super bad knees, could barely walk.
And yet she did this 5k and I remember her coming across the finish line last and everybody
cheered for.
You know, just the fact that she could walk that far.
So it doesn't have to be big, it can be the little things.
And I think what this podcast has done in the last year and the people I interviewed,
it's given people permission to say me too.
That in all different areas, you know, whatever that thing might be, whether it's the thing
that somebody talked about or just in general to give someone courage to do those little
teeny things that we need to do.
Yeah, well, I mean, people used to say to me, just as you kind of identified like, oh,
I can never do that around the Ironman stuff.
Well, I didn't start running 26 miles out of the gate.
You got to start.
I put shoes on first.
Yeah.
I mean, there's, there's an element of crawl, walk, run to it all.
And, you know, if you were actually to look at the training plan, it's, it's this stair
step approach where you train and then you push and then you train and then you push
a little further and you train and push a little further to where then when it comes
time to do it, if you put in the work, I mean, I think my training program was 26 weeks long.
And I, you know, I was exercising and doing stuff before that, but it was really a disciplined
and focused training program for that period of time.
But when it came time to do the race, I did the work and my, my brain and my body were
ready enough.
Yeah.
Major accomplishment.
So the other thing I was just thinking of a fun thing that you did courageous, which
I don't think I'd have the courage to do is when, um, did you jump out of a helicopter
to go skiing?
Wait, no, I didn't jump.
I mean, they landed.
That's in the movies.
No, I've done helicopter skiing, but they land it and you step out.
Okay.
I envisioned, but you still skied a pretty, not a, uh, uh, manicured perfect slope.
That's everybody else's on, right?
We were out in wilderness, which was fun.
Super fun.
I'd like to do it again.
Can I borrow some money?
Sure.
Maybe from the pod, your, your, your why not today merchandise sales, you can fund, you
can fund Chris's helicopter skiing trip.
Okay.
And I'll watch.
I'm not going to join you on that one either.
I'll get video.
Okay.
I'll do other things.
So, you know, this is the anniversary episode of the podcast and it's ironically 10 years
since dad passed away, which is really hard to believe it's been that long.
And so he was a pretty out loud, courageous, nothing is impossible kind of guy.
I don't think, you know, he was always problem solving what we could do.
So anything you can think of share courage.
I know I've actually pulled out.
I mentioned this, but I forgot to grab it is the, um, eulogy that you guys wrote about,
you know, he had a plan a, B and C and sometime it had to go to D or E. So lessons learned
from dad.
Yeah.
So I think interesting.
And this gets into kind of probably some, some deeper family kind of dynamics, but being
the fourth and being sort of, uh, you know, not forgotten, but just, you know, as you
get down to like, okay, he's still here.
Good.
Okay.
Good.
He's still talking about that the other night that they're number three and there, oh, it
was actually Grace's husband, Braden.
He was the third child and it was hard to find pictures of them.
Like, yeah, Chris can relate to that one.
Yeah.
I've had, I've had mom say, oh, here's a picture of you.
And she showed that to Deirdre and Deirdre's like, no, that's Brian.
Anyways, the first week counted how many pictures are grandma's house between the two of us.
Those of us who are thirds and fours have a different perspective than those who are
ones.
Yeah.
Which is interesting that we all have different perspectives growing up in the same house.
So, you know, I think with dad, you know, his, your, your comment about him always kind
of, you know, being willing to do stuff and try stuff.
I mean, I think one of the things that I appreciated about to some of his perspectives, but also
I found frustrating at times was he had this perpetual element of buck the system, at least
from my perspective, which other people, yeah, which, you know, I mean, I, I can appreciate
parts of that.
But for me personally, you know, a lot of things that I've done in my life have been
much more deliberate and I don't have an issue conforming at certain points.
But you know, when I, you know, kind of thinking back, and I don't know if this is courage,
but certainly feel like he encouraged all of us to explore, but also enjoy what we were
doing and make decisions around that kind of stuff.
Because you know, I mean, it could be over in an instant, you know, think about him,
right?
I mean, he had that accident when he was in high school, you know, I think about me and
my jet ski accident, I could not be here right now.
You know, so there's an element of, of it could all be over and not sell everything
and run to the hills and live, you know, live like today's your last day.
But you know, I think one of the things that I took from him was sort of that enjoyment
piece and you know, he used to always say, especially towards the end, like, I woke up
on the right side of the grass, right?
You know, and then I think about actually the day died.
We're at our ski house in West Virginia.
And Brian was like, we got to go home and it's dumping snow.
It's one o'clock in the morning.
And I was like, no, we're not going anywhere.
So we wake up the next day and there's a foot of fresh snow on the ground.
And Brian and I look at each other and say, well, dad would have wanted us to ski before
we went home.
So I mean, I take that hike to the top of that mountain that night though.
Yeah, we did it that night.
Yeah.
And then we see the next day.
Okay.
Of course he would have.
So, but I mean, that to me, that's sort of what one of the primary things that I kind
of think back on and take from him was again, not this, you know, life's a party and perpetual
enjoyment, but doing things, you know, I guess he could probably couch it in that, you know,
do you work to live or live to work?
Yeah.
Right.
And, you know, I kind of joke, you know, with friends and like, oh, you got to work.
I'm like, yeah, but the work pays for the fun I'm doing.
Exactly.
So, I don't know.
That's the kind of stuff I would take or I think about and, you know, again, when you
asked me to do this, I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to say.
You know, I know all of us have different perspectives on that.
I mean, you know, just looking at you, right?
You quit your corporate job and went and started selling makeup full time.
It's like, oh, holy crap.
Okay.
Yeah.
Good for you.
23 years ago.
Which is crazy.
But that, you know, that's just another, you know, just another way to sort of adapt maybe
that outlook, you know, and yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I would say that kind of stuff.
I mean, I think, you know, his stuff of being Mr. Community was great, but also I just kind
of looked at him.
He was just our dad.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, and all those things that he taught us, you know, big and little.
And so, I don't know.
But yeah, I would say that that kind of stuff of just enjoying the ride.
Yeah.
And so people listening may not know this story, but he has.
And so the logo is an eye patch and handlebar mustache because the night he graduated from
high school, he got in a major car accident was thrown.
I think it was 300 feet out of the windshield and they didn't think he was going to live.
And so he always had an eye patch.
And then he was in another serious accident before him and mom got married.
And he was scalped.
And I remember mom has a scar on her cheek.
And I remember you said at one point, I thought all moms have that.
I thought it was makeup.
Yeah.
But I remember being in high school and I wrecked his precious car and I thought, oh
my gosh, it's going to kill me.
Like I was scared to tell him he was out of town.
And he came home with flowers.
Or he first told mom, just tell Leslie, I'm glad she's alive.
And that's what matters.
And he brought me flowers, which was a good lesson that I've never forgotten.
It's like, OK, a car is a thing, but a life is so much more important.
You can replace a car.
But then the thing we were talking about last night, which we were with Brian and Kelly,
Kelly's our sister-in-law, and we were talking about our cross-country trip we took, which
looking back was pretty amazing that they did that.
And Kelly couldn't believe we possibly did that.
We're going to tell all the stories on that one.
But when I was 16 and you were 12?
11.
Yeah, 11 and a half.
So our parents bought a 25-foot camper.
And I don't know where they came up with this idea, but to drive cross-country.
And not even our youngest sister, because Amanda wasn't even born, but Katherine was
five weeks old when we left.
And we drove cross-country and we were gone for five weeks.
And as a 16-year-old with a brand new driver's license, the last thing I really wanted to
do was be with my family.
But it was a pretty cool experience in the fact that dad worked and we were able to travel
and see all these things and do all these things.
I do have a memory of when we were at the Redwoods and they were up, they're like, look
at this beautiful thing.
And we're like teenagers, like we might go back to sleep.
You were, I was excited about it.
Oh, you were?
Okay.
I wasn't totally different viewpoint, but that was definitely an adventure.
I think the courage part there for dad was he let Brian and I learn how to drive a 25-foot
motor home on that trip.
And people can't believe that story.
And you were 11 and Brian was 12.
Yes.
Yeah, that's a little crazy.
It was on straight highways and they switched drivers, but I drove probably a third of the
trip and I was 16 years old, which I think mom drove for 15 minutes.
That was enough for her.
That was kind of crazy.
But all right, so we could chat all day, but we don't want to have four people with all
our family history.
So how, how or what would you say to encourage somebody to be courageous?
To be what?
Be great?
Oh, courageous.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
I think just, you know, if there's something you want to do, you know, identify, you know,
how do you get from point A to point B and commit yourself to do it?
I mean, it's, I think back to my, our previous comments of, I think, I think people put barriers
up like, oh, that's just too big or too hard.
Right.
And they don't do it versus it's just the thing.
Whatever the thing is, and this is how you achieve stated goal of thing and just put
your mind to it, which again, back to the Ironman example, right?
I didn't start running 26 miles or riding my bike a hundred miles.
It took me a while to get there.
Right.
So I would say, you know, just if there's something that you want to do, just be willing
to do it, but kind of break it down at a practical level.
Like, and don't, don't immediately dismiss it because it seems hard or too lofty.
Yeah, totally agree.
Just take that one step.
Yeah, like one step.
Be your friend, your friend's example.
If you just got to get out of bed first.
Okay.
Well, that you go.
Yep.
Exactly.
Well, this has been fun and I thank you for joining me.
And it's been extra special.
I'll have this as an anniversary episode.
I did pull up the analytics the other day.
And when I looked earlier in the week, it was 1,575 people had, had downloaded the episodes
and it was in 26 different countries.
People had listened to, which was kind of cool.
Like who would have thought this one's going to tip the scales so I can feel it.
Okay.
All right.
It will.
So, um, well, thanks for joining me.
And if you want to follow the why not today podcast, we're on Apple, iTunes, Google, there's
a website now, which is just why not today podcast.
We do have some merchandise, which I guess the sales are going to work to fund Christopher
for going, um, helicopter skiing.
I've got and T shirts and vinyls and I even have a, um, a jacket now, which is kind of
fun.
So, well, thank you again.
And if you want to rate the podcast, review it, I would really appreciate it.
And thanks Chris for joining us.
Thanks.
All right.
Bye.