1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Hello, my name is Leslie Kane and I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast. 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:11,120 This is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, why not today? 3 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:15,480 I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Kane, who often said, why not today? 4 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:19,640 I am based in Reston, Virginia, a Planned community right outside of Washington, DC, 5 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,960 and thanks for joining us today. 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,480 And I'm super excited to have my guest, Karen Cleveland. 7 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:29,080 And before we hear from Karen and all her wisdom, I would like to talk about connections 8 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,880 and how you meet people and how you know people. 9 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,800 And oh my goodness, Karen, I've known you forever, but not really known you forever. 10 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:39,960 And you were in my father's circle and part of the chamber. 11 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,320 And I mean, we have so many connections that go so far back from starting the chamber. 12 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,280 And I love hearing your story about the first time you first day at the chamber and meeting 13 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:53,040 my dad to my sister working for you, to just knowing who you were and didn't really know 14 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:57,120 you well until I think when my dad passed away and we kind of connected and started 15 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:03,680 doing more and I think really got close during COVID during all of our walks around the lake, 16 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:07,360 multiple walks on the lake to get through that period. 17 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:11,480 And now I am grateful to have you as a coach, a mentor, and especially a friend. 18 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,360 And I'm super excited to have you on the podcast today. 19 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:19,440 We're going to talk about lots of different things about courage and COVID and I don't 20 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,920 know, we talked about lots of different ideas. 21 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,640 So we're just going to have a conversation here. 22 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:26,640 So Karen, why don't we, before we hear your courageous story and all about courage, why 23 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,720 don't you introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about you and a fun fact that you might 24 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:31,720 not know. 25 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,720 Great. 26 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:33,720 Well, thanks, Leslie. 27 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,000 It's great to be here with you today. 28 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,320 I'm originally from Cincinnati, Ohio. 29 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:43,720 So think of myself as a midwesterner and I grew up on a college campus on a football 30 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:44,720 field. 31 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:50,600 Basically, my dad was a college football coach and part of my courage story, I think is the 32 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:57,480 fact that I have five brothers and sisters, all of whom were world-class athletes or nationally 33 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,520 ranked athletes at some point in their career. 34 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:06,920 And while your guests cannot see me, I'm 5'10 and had been this tall since I was 11 and 35 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:10,240 somehow the coordination gene just skipped me completely. 36 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:17,240 So I spent a lot of time in the bleachers, in the stands, wherever cheering on my siblings 37 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,480 and watching my dad coach football. 38 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,960 So I'm an avid sports fan. 39 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,760 Just prefer my sport to be walking around the lake. 40 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,760 Yes, definitely. 41 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,920 So and you've done lots of different things in your career and we'll kind of talk about 42 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:32,920 that. 43 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:38,120 So before we start, what does courage mean to you? 44 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:42,320 You know, you asked me to think about that ahead of time and I've really given it a lot 45 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,320 of thought. 46 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:52,600 I think that courage, you know, or being brave is inextricably, inextricably, I can't even 47 00:02:52,600 --> 00:03:01,240 say that word, linked to confidence and really self-assuredness. 48 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:05,480 And I think at least for me, it's hard to separate the two. 49 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:13,020 So courage is about being able to see where you want to go or what you want to do and 50 00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:16,040 living in the moment to do the right thing. 51 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:23,200 And if you practice, like most skills, being courageous, I think you can draw on that when 52 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,200 you need it. 53 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,720 I love that. 54 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,600 And just so you know, I don't know if you had a chance to check out the website, but 55 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:37,000 I have, I only got my website up and everybody that's on the podcast, I have courage cards 56 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,520 with your definition of courage. 57 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:39,520 I love that. 58 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,240 So people can share them and kind of see everybody's definitions. 59 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:50,800 So you've done lots in your life and had a very wide career from, gosh, remember, I didn't 60 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,600 know this, but aerobics with a friend of mine from high school to all different things to 61 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:59,160 run lots of organizations and on a gazillion boards and you really make a difference in 62 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,160 the community. 63 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:06,160 So tell me, you know, what have you done in your life that took some courage? 64 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:12,000 Oh gosh, there are so many steps in my life that really were leaps of faith. 65 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:18,200 And so it took courage to get there. 66 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:24,440 You know, back to what it's linked to though, too, I have always spent a lot of time reflecting, 67 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,680 trying to understand where I want to go. 68 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,580 You know, I always think of it as sharpening your viewfinder. 69 00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:34,120 I don't know if a lot of your listeners are old enough to know what a viewfinder is, those 70 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:38,400 things you look through and click until you get some clarity. 71 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,560 And that's how I like to think of my life. 72 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:46,680 And so I spent a lot of time when I was younger thinking about what am I good at and what 73 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:50,800 do I enjoy doing? 74 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,400 And I was pretty good at figuring that out. 75 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,840 The challenge for me was I didn't think there was a lot of value in what I was good at and 76 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,720 what I enjoyed doing. 77 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:05,240 So it was really the help of people in my life who were able to see my strengths and 78 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:09,720 saw them as valuable, who were holding up a mirror for me. 79 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:16,260 And I would say that those early times took a lot of courage to step into my own and really 80 00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:22,240 believe that I could be successful doing some of these things that matched my skill set 81 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:26,280 and my desires really to be involved in. 82 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:30,920 It's always been about helping people one way or another. 83 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:37,080 And so that's been the thread through all of my career. 84 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,520 And you're definitely doing a lot of that. 85 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:46,000 And I love that you were able to tap into other people to have them look at your strengths 86 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:54,160 and see, which is a powerful tool in our toolbox to help us become better in who we are. 87 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,160 That's right. 88 00:05:55,160 --> 00:06:01,600 That's the biggest gift you can give to other people is to be that person for them to hold 89 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:06,600 up that mirror and call them out in a good way and say, hey, I see this. 90 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,680 I see you. 91 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:13,560 So how do you get people to help you with that? 92 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,000 Do you ask them to what your strengths are? 93 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,920 Do you look at mentors? 94 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,420 And how did you go about doing that? 95 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:24,920 So I think it's about putting yourself in the right position. 96 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,400 Putting yourself in the place of most opportunity, if you will. 97 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,040 And that does take courage too sometimes to get out of your comfort zone. 98 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:37,400 I still remember one of, you know, I have these strings of pivotal moments in my life 99 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,640 that I could go back and say, this happened. 100 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:44,640 And then it was a force accelerator for me in one way or another. 101 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:50,320 And so I would go all the way back to when I was in college and I was a resident advisor 102 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:54,040 in the dorm, which is an incredible learning experience. 103 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,720 I bet. 104 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,800 And we did a little training session one day. 105 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:02,200 So it was all the advisors from a couple of dorms. 106 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:06,280 And just like we would do today in Leadership Fairfax, where I am today, you know, it would 107 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:08,360 be a team building kind of thing. 108 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:13,200 And so people had to say one word about you. 109 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:19,640 So we each had our time where people would say one word or a phrase about us. 110 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:26,600 And somebody said of me, Rock of Gibraltar. 111 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,720 And I said, what? 112 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:34,040 And they said, oh my gosh, you are the strongest person I've ever met. 113 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:38,080 And I did not see myself that way at all. 114 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:43,840 So even though it was a shock, what I could feel is I could feel some pride that, oh my 115 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:49,360 gosh, if other people see me as having strength, then how do I own that? 116 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,840 How do I use that? 117 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:59,240 So it was just that one little moment that gave me some clarity as well as some belief 118 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,520 in myself. 119 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:05,720 So that was really the first time that that happened to me. 120 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:10,920 And then again, I could point to places throughout my career where others have done that for 121 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:11,920 me. 122 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:12,920 Yeah. 123 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:16,200 So do you seek out people or you're just in the right situation? 124 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,520 Like if I wanted to know what my strengths were, obviously I can call you. 125 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:21,520 But absolutely. 126 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:26,360 Or I talk about on a walk around the lake. 127 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:27,360 Yeah. 128 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:31,040 Well, honestly, I never asked about it to anyone. 129 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,720 I think I was just fortunate. 130 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:40,520 And like I said, I tried to put myself in the place of most potential so that I would be 131 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:45,000 around people who I felt like I could learn from. 132 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:50,080 And I think if you yourself are open, then people will know that they can actually share 133 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:53,240 with you or come into that space. 134 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,880 So to share just one other story, there was a gentleman. 135 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,360 So I took a job. 136 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:06,360 My first chamber of commerce job was with the then Fairfax County Chamber of Commerce. 137 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,000 And you know, it was weird. 138 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,800 I really didn't deserve the job. 139 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,440 I really wasn't experienced in the right areas for it. 140 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,000 But the job just kept popping up everywhere. 141 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,560 So I thought I'll apply for this. 142 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:22,520 And I loved being on a chamber committee before. 143 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,200 Maybe I could do this job. 144 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,520 So I think, quite frankly, the CEO was just tired of looking at resumes. 145 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,400 And I walked in the door and he hired me. 146 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,160 And he liked self starters. 147 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:38,360 So he liked to hire people and then just kind of throw them into the wolf's den and see 148 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,000 if they can swim. 149 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,480 So it was a good place for me for a while. 150 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:49,120 And there was a gentleman who ran one of the committees I was in charge of. 151 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:53,400 And my first month there, we had a board meeting. 152 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:59,880 Now you have to understand this is Northern Virginia in the 80s. 153 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,240 So this is like 1980. 154 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,240 What would that have been? 155 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:05,520 86. 156 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:09,720 This town was going crazy with development. 157 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:15,880 Weston's was no longer this sleepy little corner with a little store there. 158 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:19,720 Reston was booming like crazy all over Northern Virginia. 159 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,760 And we had a very powerful board of directors. 160 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:28,760 All men, except one woman, by the way, and only one other senior staff person that was 161 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:29,760 female. 162 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:34,460 So it was this whole room full of powerful men from Northern Virginia. 163 00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:38,760 And I'm sitting next to the chair of one of my boards. 164 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:45,040 And there was a discussion about what we as Northern Virginia get back from Richmond and 165 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,880 how much money we send to Richmond. 166 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,480 So it was an important discussion. 167 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,920 In first, a gentleman right across from me spoke. 168 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:57,120 And he was laying on the table like his elbows were on the table and his chin was on his 169 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,600 hands. 170 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:03,200 And I said to my committee guy, I said, who is that? 171 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:10,080 And he said, oh, that would be Till Hazel, who was really an architect of Northern Virginia 172 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,080 development. 173 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:14,120 And I said, well, why is he laying on the table? 174 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,880 And he said, well, his cow kicked him in the back. 175 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,040 So he's sore. 176 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:25,720 And to me to this day, that is a symbol of kind of the longevity of my time here in Northern 177 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:30,120 Virginia, because Till Hazel was one of the most powerful developers. 178 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:35,040 But he also lived out on a mountain and had cows and animals. 179 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:42,440 So a couple of minutes later, gentleman right next to him pushed back from his seat and 180 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:53,120 stood up in this beautiful Virginia accent said, Mr. Chairman, may I have the floor? 181 00:11:53,120 --> 00:12:01,640 And everyone around that table sat back against their chairs and they took a breath and they 182 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:06,680 held it and waited for this man to speak. 183 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:12,520 So I turned to my guy again and I said, and who might this be? 184 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,320 And he said, this is Earl Williams. 185 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:16,320 Pay attention. 186 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,360 I don't know who that is. 187 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:25,360 And so from that day forward, I tried to fashion my leadership style after Earl Williams. 188 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:30,520 So at the time, he was the CEO of a government contractor here called BPM that was bought 189 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,520 out. 190 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,000 I'm not sure I could remember all that. 191 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:38,960 It was eventually became Northrop Grumman and he ran for governor of Virginia. 192 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:45,160 He chaired so many boards around here and was just such an influential leader and one 193 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:51,800 of the kindest men and generous with his time and attention. 194 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:57,280 And he was one of those people that when you would see him, you always felt like he was 195 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,280 just waiting for you right there. 196 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,120 And he would give you all the time in the world. 197 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:08,920 Kind of like they always say Mary Kay Asch is one of her best traits where she paid attention 198 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:14,240 to people and everybody said, make sure or imagine everybody has a sign around them says 199 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:18,840 their necks that says make me feel important and hours and hours for people to meter and 200 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:23,440 look eyeball to eyeball to each person and give everybody equal attention. 201 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,960 And yeah, that is leadership. 202 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,920 And going back to kind of what you said earlier, it's like being around like minded people 203 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:35,400 goal oriented makes such a difference if you want to be known, be successful, be a part 204 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,440 of the community. 205 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,360 My father was a master of that. 206 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:45,000 And he started the rest of the Chamber of Mention office, but he didn't have business 207 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000 here. 208 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000 He was raising six kids in the community. 209 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,600 And that was important to him. 210 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:55,240 And so knowing who to be around and that takes courage to introduce yourself, to get to know 211 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:59,160 people, to let people know who you are. 212 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:03,560 And it's being there to help and contribute and make a difference and really because you 213 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:04,560 care. 214 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:09,360 And you know, Leslie, I think particularly for women, I mean, we've come a long way in 215 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:14,920 the work environment and I feel incredibly fortunate to have grown up during this time. 216 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:20,560 It wasn't easy when I first started in business, but it's you know, there are much more opportunities 217 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,560 now. 218 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:26,440 But it's challenging, particularly when you're starting out to allow yourself to be vulnerable 219 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:30,080 and vulnerability is a leadership skill and a trait. 220 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,800 And it is such an important part of being a leader. 221 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,160 But it does take courage to do that because it's it can be a risk. 222 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,160 Yeah, absolutely. 223 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:42,840 So I know you and I talked about lots of different subjects and we talk all the time. 224 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:51,400 And so what you didn't say is that you are the CEO of leadership Fairfax, which is a 225 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,840 big job as it is. 226 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:56,800 You are a trained coach and you are an excellent coach. 227 00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:00,080 And I think just, you know, I feel privileged that with our walk around the lake that I 228 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:06,640 get coached all the time and and just kind of listen and watch what you're doing in the 229 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,640 coaching world. 230 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:12,960 And one of the things we've talked about, you know, in the last three years in coaching 231 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:18,720 and just life is, you know, COVID was hard and it's not over. 232 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:22,640 And you keep bringing up a term called COVID hangover. 233 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:27,640 And this podcast is to talk about people that are courageous and done courageous things, 234 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:31,400 but also to give people hope and tools in their toolboxes. 235 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:35,320 Okay, so and I think one of the things that's kind of evolved is people are able to say 236 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:39,000 me too, like, oh my gosh, I'm not the only person out there with some of the subjects 237 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,000 we've talked about. 238 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:46,960 So talk a little bit about that and how we can help people navigate the self awareness. 239 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:50,800 Okay, this is this is what's going on. 240 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:55,920 And I think you that was a perfect segue because I think it really does tie into the vulnerability 241 00:15:55,920 --> 00:16:03,360 piece to what I've been noticing is that 242 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,680 the hangover seems to be in two particular areas right now. 243 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:10,800 Now it may affect everybody in some way, but particularly the folks that have been on the 244 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,480 front line, it's definitely not over for them. 245 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:19,000 And many of them will be dealing with trauma for quite some time. 246 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:23,360 And we're so grateful for everybody that was on the front lines for all that time. 247 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:29,880 The other group that it is so noticeable for is really the people who have held it all 248 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:36,240 together in their work environment, whether they're managers, leaders, CEOs, but have 249 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,680 really held it together for everyone else. 250 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:42,840 And those are the same people that are holding it together for their family and their community. 251 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:47,640 Yeah, one thing you mentioned earlier, which reminded me of a conversation we had talking 252 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,200 about, you know, somebody looked at you as being strong. 253 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:57,600 And that's a great trait, but it also can be a bad trait that people think of you as 254 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,600 strong. 255 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,520 And I remember from hard times, and wasn't there an article or something you read, you 256 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:09,800 told me about some powerful CEO, somebody, maybe it was a coach that said, do you remember 257 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:10,800 this? 258 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:15,640 That they're like, you know, nobody asked me how I am strong, you know, they think you 259 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:20,480 got it all together when you're strong, a strong person, nobody thinks to check on you. 260 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,480 That's right. 261 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,440 Well, any strength overdone can be a weakness. 262 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:28,120 So let's be clear about that anyway. 263 00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:34,800 You know, I don't remember that specific story, Leslie, but it certainly rings true for me, 264 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:39,600 that people and it happens the further up a ladder you go to, and the stronger you are 265 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,920 on a daily basis, people don't think to ask you. 266 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:47,280 So I would love for all your listeners to really think about the people in their life, 267 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:54,200 it all levels in check in with them, and ask them how they are doing and really listen 268 00:17:54,200 --> 00:18:01,000 to your point about how Mary Kay did is really, really listen. 269 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,760 This level one listening where you only listen long enough to say what you have been wanting 270 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:09,840 to say is not the same thing as as listening. 271 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,920 But the thing about that I'm seeing about this COVID hangover right now is the depletion 272 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:23,040 factor that people who have held it all together all this time are really struggling to re 273 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,840 energize to find any energy. 274 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,840 They're just so depleted. 275 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,400 So I know you and I were taught we always talk about what is our word for a year this 276 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:38,640 time of year, and mine for this year has to be grace. 277 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:43,880 Because I want to give myself grace, first of all, because I too am feeling depleted 278 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:44,880 in many ways. 279 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:49,400 And it's if I didn't have a to do list, that I could at least check some of the more mundane 280 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:55,120 things off, I would find it really difficult to actually accomplish them. 281 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:56,120 Yeah. 282 00:18:56,120 --> 00:19:02,040 So having grace both for ourselves and for others, and recognizing in small ways what's 283 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,520 going on with others. 284 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:10,320 And ways to do that is simply by having the time, taking the time, making a phone call, 285 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:16,340 even sending a text, you know that you're thinking of someone, please recognize what's 286 00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:19,040 going on with other people. 287 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:23,920 And those little things can go, they can go a long way any day, but right now, we need 288 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,640 it more than ever. 289 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:26,640 Yeah, absolutely. 290 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:32,000 And you're paying attention to people and just those little things can make such a difference. 291 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:39,640 I often wear a starfish necklace that reminds me that, you know, one person can make a difference 292 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:45,240 and just that kind word to somebody or just checking in with somebody or paying attention, 293 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,880 you know, social media is out there and, you know, people post things all the time, but 294 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,320 are you really paying attention? 295 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,320 Are they screaming for help? 296 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,360 Are they looking for some great? 297 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,360 Yeah. 298 00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:01,720 Well, and you know, that goes with identity as well. 299 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:09,320 I mean, years ago when I worked for Habitat for Humanity, I don't even remember how I 300 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,720 got this awareness. 301 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,800 Sometimes things just smack you upside the head and you have to pay attention to them. 302 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:19,400 And I realized that my staff thought I was perfect. 303 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,280 They thought I never made a mistake. 304 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:22,760 I didn't do anything wrong. 305 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:28,800 They just, so they were afraid to make a mistake or to tell me, you know, that something was 306 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,800 hard or they needed help. 307 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:36,440 And I was so embarrassed when I realized that because I thought if they only knew how much 308 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:41,840 I screw up every day, because that's how, if you're afraid to make mistakes, you're 309 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:46,200 going to get stuck and you won't continue to move forward. 310 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:51,400 So I found that what I started doing, because I always would walk around anyway and visit 311 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:58,200 with everyone, is use that opportunity to share when I would screw something up or how 312 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:04,600 I would fix something that I thought was broken or use it as a teachable moment. 313 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,840 And around that same time, and this is, I think I was in coaching school at the time 314 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:14,600 too, which was helpful, is I started paying more attention to people I would just run 315 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,480 into casually that I didn't know. 316 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:24,040 People in a coffee shop in, I don't know, standing in line at the grocery store. 317 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:36,080 And I realized over that time that people had an impression of me or saw an image of 318 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:39,280 me that then they had me in a box. 319 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:44,280 And of course, none of us are that little, you know, in that box, because we all try 320 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:49,600 to show up as the best version of ourselves, but we're so much more than that. 321 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:55,800 So what I started doing more, I don't know, just to see if people wouldn't think it was 322 00:21:55,800 --> 00:22:02,240 weird, is just like, I don't know, complimenting people or some small thing. 323 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,680 Like I might say to a complete stranger, that is the most beautiful color pink on you. 324 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,880 It looks fantastic. 325 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:15,080 And you know, you can do something like that and brighten somebody's day. 326 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:20,840 And what I found is that just seeing a smile back really brightens my day too. 327 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:26,540 So I've been able to continue that as, you know, the years have progressed. 328 00:22:26,540 --> 00:22:30,840 And I'm so grateful for whatever motivated me to do that. 329 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,880 Yeah, again, it goes back to Mary Kay teaching. 330 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:33,880 Yeah. 331 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,720 Sign around the neck makes me feel important. 332 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,240 And I've heard so many stories of people like having the worst day of their life and somebody 333 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,440 smiled or somebody made a difference. 334 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:46,680 And you just don't know all the little things you can do to make a difference. 335 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:51,800 So I think, you know, talking about COVID hangover, I think it's self awareness to say, 336 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,000 all right, I'm tired, I'm depleted. 337 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,920 What are we doing to fill us back up? 338 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:03,440 And I think we've gone from survival, which we had to figure out new businesses and new 339 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,360 lives and everything. 340 00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:10,980 And then we went, we're obviously not all never going to be back to life before. 341 00:23:10,980 --> 00:23:15,600 But then I think we've gone back to over stimulation. 342 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:19,000 Like during the holidays, I'm worn out. 343 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,920 It was there was many days in a row, I had a lunch appointment and a dinner or a lunch 344 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:28,600 party and a dinner and like multiple things to fit all these events and stuff in. 345 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:36,200 And having a minute to breathe, because we are feeling that overwhelmed to like, okay, 346 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:42,760 it's okay to breathe and to admit, you know, have that self awareness to see it, but admit, 347 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,120 okay, I need to fill me up. 348 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,400 And what am I going to do to do that? 349 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:51,720 Yeah, I think that's the best thing we could all do is have a plan of things that even 350 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:58,120 if it's a list, because quite frankly, sometimes it's exhausting just to think about when you 351 00:23:58,120 --> 00:23:59,120 shift gears. 352 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,880 All right, what can I do for myself? 353 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:07,120 It seems like one more burden, where if you think about it ahead of time when you're in 354 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:12,720 a quiet space, and it may be if you're a person like me, a visual person, I like to write 355 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:20,120 them down, I like to put a post it next to my computer, so that it reminds me to go out 356 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:26,800 and walk to go see my sweet little grand babies next door, you know, to do something that 357 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:33,840 is fills that depletion, you know, that refills what we need. 358 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:40,320 The other thing about COVID that lastly, nobody's really talking about is that most of us were 359 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:46,400 able to do that pivot in March of 2020, because we had no choice, right? 360 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:51,640 Regardless of what kind of company or organization you're part of, you just did the pivot, you 361 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,760 did the best you could at it. 362 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,600 Everybody was all in, we were all working more hours. 363 00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:01,960 So we may have been at home, but most of us were sitting in front of a computer, much 364 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:05,080 longer hours than we normally did. 365 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,600 So now, yes, we've learned lessons from it. 366 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:14,860 Yes, we're going to have probably hybrid work environments in the future. 367 00:25:14,860 --> 00:25:22,480 But now that we're coming out of it, it takes just as much work to figure out how to do 368 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:23,920 this now. 369 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:24,920 Right. 370 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,360 Because nothing is the same. 371 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,560 No, nothing is the same. 372 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:30,560 Yeah. 373 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,000 And you know, how to redesign it. 374 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,880 And I think we were just in survival mode for so long. 375 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,440 Now it's like I'm watching in the world out there, people are starting to have goals and 376 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:39,440 dreams again. 377 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,380 And like, okay, what do I want? 378 00:25:41,380 --> 00:25:44,760 You know, in my life, I was looking at some tracking that I used to do all the time. 379 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:49,480 The last time I recorded, went through that worksheet was February of 2020. 380 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,360 It's an interesting opening. 381 00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:56,040 You know, it just got to be okay, if I'm still here and I'm still eating, I'm still good, 382 00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:02,800 you know, and not thinking forward of what we want to do that we've just, you know, but 383 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:07,400 we had time, you know, I remember when COVID started, we were all going to do all these 384 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,280 projects because we are home for a week. 385 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,600 And how many of those projects we haven't gotten done. 386 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:19,320 But we did take time, I think for us, I think one of my favorite memories of COVID, if there 387 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:24,160 can be a good memory is sitting on your dock with our champagne, fresh strawberries I picked 388 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:29,920 from the, the, the field, I didn't pick them, but I've got them from a farmer's field, you 389 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,960 know, picked up and we took time to do those things. 390 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,800 Walking around the lake, you took time to talk to somebody and how are you? 391 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:45,040 And I think that's something maybe we need to get back to is carving out time and space 392 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,040 to pay attention to people. 393 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:48,120 Absolutely. 394 00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:53,800 Because now that it's everybody's back to whatever it is, it's, you know, warp speed 395 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:54,800 again. 396 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:55,800 Yeah. 397 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:56,800 And ask people how they are. 398 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,600 So maybe that should be the challenge for anybody that listens to this. 399 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,600 Reach out to three friends and say, how are you? 400 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,280 Or let's get together or just thinking of you. 401 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,000 And that makes a difference. 402 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:09,800 I have a friend of mine that if she's in line at the drive through at Starbucks, she uses 403 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,200 that time to text people, just how are you? 404 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:19,960 You know, and just thinking of you, praying for you, whatever it is, sometimes it's nice 405 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:25,000 to be stuck in a line to, and we talked a little bit about this yesterday, you know, 406 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,960 to take a minute to breathe and not to look at your phone, but to look to the person next 407 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,240 to you and how are you and how's your day? 408 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,400 And you know, have a conversation with somebody. 409 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,400 That's right. 410 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:39,040 And as long as you're coming at it from an authentic standpoint, people don't think it's 411 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,040 weird. 412 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:44,360 I think a lot of people, you know, don't do that because they think they're invading someone's 413 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:45,360 privacy. 414 00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:46,360 Right. 415 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,480 I don't feel that way at all. 416 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:51,120 I think if you're genuine, people will welcome that. 417 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:55,080 And you know, you have your own barometer if you feel like you're overstepping to someone. 418 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:59,440 But you know, it's amazing the relationships you can build. 419 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,720 I mean, really build from those random meetings. 420 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,480 Absolutely, you never know. 421 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,720 You never know who that person you're going to meet or where they're going to lead you. 422 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:12,040 And I think that's evident in your career and in my life, you know, just who you've 423 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:16,240 met and the connections and you know, you just never know looking back, like, wow, how 424 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,000 did I meet that person? 425 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,400 You know, it goes so bad. 426 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:24,120 I think one more thing about that, Leslie, that I think is really important, and I think 427 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:30,000 we started the conversation here and like to kind of swing back to that, is surrounding 428 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,640 yourself with people you want to be like, right? 429 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:33,640 Absolutely. 430 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,080 Who fill you in some way. 431 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:42,080 And I know not everybody is in a position in a work environment where they have all 432 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:46,560 the choices to so it may be difficult for some people. 433 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:52,680 But where and when you do have choices, think about it from that standpoint, what fills 434 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:59,380 you because you are going to expend so much physical and emotional energy in our jobs 435 00:28:59,380 --> 00:29:06,920 because it's so much time out of our lives that if you can spend it around people who 436 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:14,800 fill you in some way, either challenge you intellectually, fill you emotionally, you 437 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:22,280 have fun with whatever that is in work and in your personal life, I think it's more fulfilling. 438 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:27,880 I mean, you and I really have been connected because we do so much community work. 439 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:28,880 Right. 440 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:34,680 And we know that our friend groups are the same people who we do our community work with 441 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:41,080 because we have a shared value system around helping others and making our community a 442 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:45,360 place where everybody is welcome and can thrive. 443 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:50,040 So if you invest your time and your energy that way, it's going to fulfill you in ways 444 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,880 that you probably can't even define when you get started. 445 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:54,880 Yeah, absolutely. 446 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,000 And, you know, put yourself in those places. 447 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:01,680 I remember there was a Oktoberfest and I had volunteered to help. 448 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,600 I don't even know what I was going to do. 449 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,080 But I had a friend visiting from around the town. 450 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,720 He's like, do you really have to do that? 451 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,880 I'm like, yeah, I said I was going to. 452 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:10,880 I'm going to do it. 453 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,080 He's like, well, was it going to help your business? 454 00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,120 I'm like, I don't really care. 455 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:16,120 I committed to it. 456 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:17,120 I'm going to do it. 457 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:22,240 Well, there was a very powerful woman in the area that I always wanted to connect to. 458 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,400 And sure enough, she was selling tickets with me. 459 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,960 And I pulled out a lipstick or she pulled out a lipstick and Mary Kay came up. 460 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,760 And yes, she did become a customer, but she became a friend and a mentor. 461 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:35,480 And she's a leader in the area. 462 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:39,160 And it was like because I put myself in that place. 463 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:43,000 And so, you know, going back to the people being around the power, people that energize 464 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,000 you. 465 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,400 I had a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday. 466 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,160 And at the end, she goes, I love our conversations. 467 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,300 I always feel energized when I'm done. 468 00:30:51,300 --> 00:30:53,760 And I love having those conversations with people. 469 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,440 And but there's the opposite. 470 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:58,040 And another friend recently said, do you feel people's energy? 471 00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,040 I'm like, I don't know. 472 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:00,940 And then I started paying attention to it. 473 00:31:00,940 --> 00:31:01,940 And I do. 474 00:31:01,940 --> 00:31:05,120 And I had coffee with another person I know one day. 475 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:09,680 And it was just a negative conversation the whole way. 476 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:13,400 The last two minutes of our 90 minute conversation, it went way too long for me. 477 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,880 She said, oh, what's going on in your world? 478 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,600 And I walked out of that and I'm going, okay, I'm going to protect myself. 479 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:26,920 And I think because I'm gone a lot and I don't have a lot of space and time for a lot, a 480 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,600 lot of, you know, we've met with a ton of people. 481 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:35,080 I'm really being protective of my space and time and who I allow and those boundaries, 482 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,360 you know, to know, okay, those are the people, those aren't my people. 483 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,120 Do you need to take care of yourself for sure? 484 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:45,720 Self care is shows up in so many ways. 485 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:50,560 I do think in this COVID hangover, when people are feeling depleted too, it's even difficult 486 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:55,080 to, for some people to be there for their friends who are going through a difficult 487 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:56,160 time as well. 488 00:31:56,160 --> 00:32:02,080 Because when you don't have enough energy for yourself, it's hard to have it for others, 489 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,160 even though you want to be there for them. 490 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:11,720 And I think it's, I think one of the most difficult things for most people is to be 491 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:19,040 really transparent about not just their intentions, but their feelings in situations like that. 492 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,000 And I think one of the best things you can see, because right, we're going to notice 493 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:27,080 and we're going to feed off of if you're not there for a friend, say to be really truthful 494 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:31,640 about it and say, I'm, you know, I'm sorry, you're going through a really tough time and 495 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:33,240 I want to be there for you. 496 00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,280 I'm struggling too. 497 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:38,280 And you know, and then, yeah. 498 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:42,920 And so if we can say that, that goes back to the word of the year, grace, right? 499 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:44,240 Yep, exactly. 500 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:48,600 So I know we could go forever, but we're about 30 minutes on, I won't go too longer. 501 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:58,560 So what encouragement would you give to somebody to say, why not say and be courageous? 502 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:08,960 So I think one of the most freeing concepts I ever, I find, not ever, but I finally was 503 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:19,720 able to accept and embody is that fear is of something in the future. 504 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:30,200 So fear, other than bodily fear, when you're in that moment, you know, that survival mode, 505 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,440 but what most of us think of it is fearful times, something we're afraid of, afraid of 506 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:42,800 failure, afraid of rejection, afraid of whatever is we're projecting into the future. 507 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:43,800 Right. 508 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,760 And that's where fear comes from. 509 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:54,840 So if you believe that being present and doing the work, like, like I said, really understanding 510 00:33:54,840 --> 00:34:00,840 who you are, what you care about, what's important. 511 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:06,240 And then you're in the present, I think you make much better decisions all the way around. 512 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:12,400 And then the future is laid open for you as opposed to something that is frightening. 513 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:13,400 Right. 514 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:20,640 So then the courage becomes really more of a, an energy, a momentum for you, a force 515 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,320 accelerator, if you will. 516 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:29,460 And you know, the more you live in that space of bravery, I have a sign on my wall that 517 00:34:29,460 --> 00:34:36,400 says courageous authenticity, because I want to be brave, but I want to be brave enough 518 00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:42,060 to own who I am and bring that out into the world and manifest it. 519 00:34:42,060 --> 00:34:43,060 And so I believe that. 520 00:34:43,060 --> 00:34:50,200 So for all of your listeners to really believe that they are enough, that they have what 521 00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:54,560 it takes to be successful in any way that they want to be and be the person that they 522 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,100 want to be. 523 00:34:56,100 --> 00:35:04,000 So be present, do that work and keep fear somewhere out of your viewfinder. 524 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,920 And I know you can be successful. 525 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:12,480 And what's fear is evidence appearing real or some there's an acronym, but yeah, fear, 526 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:13,480 we don't know what it is. 527 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,960 And yeah, do the work and do the thing, do the scary thing. 528 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:20,320 And that's what I talk about a why not say like that thing and just take that step. 529 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:24,240 Because you just never know where it's going to lead you talk to that person. 530 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:27,200 Yeah, so we go on and on. 531 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:31,600 So I always at the end talk about connections to my dad, which a lot of people like I never 532 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,200 met your dad. 533 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,520 But you did meet my dad. 534 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:39,960 So my favorite story my dad and I can because I've heard it so many times I can see it, 535 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,920 I can feel it, I can smell this conversation with my father. 536 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:47,960 So share just because it's when you first met my dad. 537 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,960 Well actually I had met him once before. 538 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:56,720 But it was my first day on the job at the Reston Chamber of Commerce. 539 00:35:56,720 --> 00:36:01,560 And first of all, I walked in on my first day and the other two staff members quit. 540 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,960 So it was just me there that day. 541 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:08,640 And it wasn't because of me, but it was because of how things were handled that they weren't 542 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,000 happy with. 543 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:14,840 So the first thing I did was call a an employment agency and get a temp over there to answer 544 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,880 the phones while I was sorting things through. 545 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:22,980 So the temp buzzed me in the back room and she whispered into the phone. 546 00:36:22,980 --> 00:36:25,480 She said, there's somebody here to see you. 547 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,120 And I said, who might that be? 548 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:33,560 And she said, I don't know, but he has a patch over his eye. 549 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,120 So I knew who it was. 550 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,760 And I walked out. 551 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:43,180 And just like you, the whole sensation, all of my senses are filled thinking back. 552 00:36:43,180 --> 00:36:52,640 So there was your dad in his his faded bell bottom blue jeans, flip flops, flip flops, 553 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:58,560 did have a patch over his eye, of course, which is your logo and his mustache, of course, 554 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:05,880 famous mustache and a pipe in his mouth, his armed cross holding his pipe, cropped up holding 555 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,360 that pipe. 556 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,760 And he may have even had sunglasses on at that point. 557 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,680 It was it was a spring day. 558 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:17,760 And he he said, Welcome. 559 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:25,560 He said, I just want you to know that I'm here and whatever you need, I'm here for you. 560 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,120 And I don't even think I told him what had happened that day. 561 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,400 I don't know what's happening anymore. 562 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,280 I just thanked him. 563 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:40,160 And yeah, was such a wonderful. 564 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:43,840 Mouthwash sensation in so many ways, but to know that he was there because I knew the 565 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,380 history, of course, that he had started the chamber. 566 00:37:46,380 --> 00:37:51,960 He was the chairman for the first couple of years and that he was such a strong leader 567 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,680 in the community that I was like, all right, I can do this. 568 00:37:55,680 --> 00:38:00,160 So to your point, you know, it was almost like he was saying, why not today? 569 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,160 Let's just let's make this happen. 570 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,480 And isn't that interesting? 571 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:08,000 Your last statement talked about everything we talked about paying attention to people 572 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,600 being there for people, strength for people, leadership skills. 573 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:15,200 I mean, all the things we just talked about just in that one sentence. 574 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,760 Yeah, he was the best. 575 00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:17,760 We do. 576 00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:19,480 So remember, do those things for people. 577 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:20,480 So thank you, Karen. 578 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:21,480 This has been fun. 579 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:22,920 We could go on and on and on forever. 580 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,600 We need to finish this up with a walk around the lake. 581 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:30,580 But thank you, everybody, for listening and checking out the Why Not Today podcast. 582 00:38:30,580 --> 00:38:33,620 We are on Spotify, iTunes, Google, all those things. 583 00:38:33,620 --> 00:38:38,720 And I'm super excited to say that the website is finally ready and done. 584 00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:41,840 So check out the Why Not Today podcast website. 585 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,800 You can see all the episodes there. 586 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,600 We have Courage cards on there. 587 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:46,600 We have some merchandise. 588 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,760 You get t-shirts and cups and fun stuff. 589 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,120 Check it out and make sure you review, share, like this podcast. 590 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,120 And again, thank you, Karen, for joining me. 591 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,120 It's been fun to catch up with you this way. 592 00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,120 Sure is. 593 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:00,120 Thanks, Leslie. 594 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,120 You're welcome. 595 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:11,920 Thanks for