1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,500 Hi, my name is Leslie. I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast. This is a podcast where 2 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:14,240 we celebrate people who have been courageous and said, Why not today? I started this podcast 3 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:18,600 in honor of my father, Patrick Kaye, who often said, Why not today? I'm based in Reston, 4 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,000 Virginia, a planned community right outside of Washington, DC, and thanks for joining 5 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:28,600 us today. And I'm excited to have my guest today and it's Tamara Hellam, who is a friend 6 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:34,640 of mine, known her for several years, but she's been doing some fun things, being courageous. 7 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,400 So as she's been sharing her story and what she's doing, I'm like, you need to be a guest 8 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:42,720 on my podcast. So before I start, I always like to talk about connections. You just never 9 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:46,880 know where you're going to meet somebody. So this podcast is not about Mary Kaye, and 10 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:51,480 somebody pointed out one time, but that seems to be my world. So Tamara and I actually, 11 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:56,080 we did meet because of Mary Kaye. She is a Mary Kaye consultant and we met at some conferences 12 00:00:56,080 --> 00:01:02,760 and then she lives in Florida. So I was privileged in the last couple of years to spend time. 13 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:07,720 I think we spent time together every year for a while because I went there myself and 14 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:13,080 then with my mom and sister and I went there since 2020 several times. And so you build 15 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:17,920 those relationships and connections with people. And Tamara has been a great friend. And as 16 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:23,960 I said, she's been doing some cool things. So Tamara, let's, would love to hear from 17 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:29,520 you. And before we go into your story and everything, tell us a little bit about you 18 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:33,120 and fascinating fun facts that somebody might not know. 19 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:37,720 Okay. Well, first of all, I just want to thank you so much for having me on your podcast 20 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:43,080 today. Like Leslie said, we met through Mary Kaye, we were in leadership together and we, 21 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:47,680 I have to give some kudos and props to Leslie because Leslie is my fun friend. We found, 22 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,800 we met through a mutual friend who claimed that I stole her, but I did not. We're all 23 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:56,760 really good friends now. And she's my adventure buddy. And we have traveled together and done 24 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:01,480 crazy and fun things. And I like to surround myself by balcony people, people who pull 25 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:06,400 you up. And Leslie is one of those people, Leslie, you make me better. So I just thank 26 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,400 you for that. 27 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,400 You are welcome. 28 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,560 Yeah. So, okay. So a little bit about me. I do live in Florida. I live in sunny Bradenton, 29 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:17,480 Florida, which is just south of Tampa on the West coast. I'm a Jersey girl. I'm originally 30 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:21,360 from New Jersey. I will always be a Jersey girl at heart, but I love the Florida lifestyle. 31 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:28,840 So yeah. So honestly, Snow TV is great and it's good to stay there. Professionally, I'm 32 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:33,200 a registered nurse and I work from home as a quality assurance manager, which sounds 33 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:37,800 very boring, but it's actually interesting to me. So we're from home health company. 34 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:44,760 Personally, I'm an entrepreneur. I run a successful drug sales business like Leslie. I'm also 35 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,840 a full-time caregiver for a family member who's going through a health crisis and fun 36 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:54,520 facts. Let's see. I love to travel. I've learned to scuba dive, belly dance. And while I was 37 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:59,000 building my business, my team and I earned seven company cars, which is something kind 38 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:04,760 of fun and cool. So that is awesome. Congratulations. Yeah. And you know, I love that you're a registered 39 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:10,880 nurse and that got you to Florida. And then you, because you were a traveling nurse and 40 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:16,880 fell in love with it and stayed and then discovered your direct sales business and pursued that 41 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:21,600 and left nursing and then went back to nursing and been able to do both at the same time, 42 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:26,440 which I love that, you know, this is something we can do alongside things and teach us. I 43 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:30,480 know you've mentioned many times what you learned in Mary Kay has helped you with the 44 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:36,160 other jobs. So this podcast about courage and giving people hope and people being able 45 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:41,880 to say, you know, me too. And, and do the things they're kind of afraid to do. So first, 46 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:47,240 before we start talking about your story, tell me what the word courage means to you. 47 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,840 Courage to me means stepping outside of your comfort zone and doing things that are uncomfortable, 48 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:56,440 but stretch and grow you. And I would say that courage takes faith. It's not always 49 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:00,480 loud faith though. Sometimes it's the kind of faith that moves you. It's a quiet faith. 50 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,880 It just moves you to take the first step because that's the most courageous step. And then 51 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,160 you just have to trust God for the rest. 52 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:12,760 Absolutely. Totally agree. It's interesting. Everybody's got their own definition of faith 53 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:17,000 of courage and it kind of circles around the same thing, but it's always a little different. 54 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:21,520 One of the projects I have on my to do list this week is create courage cards with everybody's 55 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:27,200 definition of courage to be able to share and encourage each other. So, all right. So 56 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:30,480 what have you done in your life that took courage? And I don't know if you want to 57 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:35,600 pull some things from the past or just what we've been talking about recently with living 58 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,520 your life and vision and your health and fitness and... 59 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:40,520 Couple things. 60 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:45,520 Let's talk about all those things. And I thought those would be a perfect episode to talk to 61 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:53,760 you now. This episode will air on December 24th of 2022. And as we wrap up the end of 62 00:04:53,760 --> 00:05:00,240 the year, so those of us that are goal oriented, we wrap up the end of the year, we kind of 63 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:05,200 start looking at things in the new year. And I know we've been trained a lot about goal 64 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:11,280 setting and visions and manifesting things. And so I think this is a great topic and I 65 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:15,400 know you're going to talk about fitness a little bit too, a great topic to kind of end 66 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:19,520 the year and start have people start thinking of things for the new year. So share some 67 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,040 courage stuff with us. 68 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:26,160 Okay. Well, I did kind of dig a little deep because that's kind of a broad question. Like 69 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,000 what have you done in your life that takes courage? Well, I mean, I'll give you a couple 70 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:38,600 examples. When I was young, I put myself through nursing school. I have made unpopular decisions 71 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:43,000 throughout my life to change careers or employers at times where it didn't necessarily make 72 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:49,080 sense on paper, but they were the best choices for me. So I followed my heart and my own 73 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:56,280 vision. What else did I do? I recently applied for and was accepted to pursue my master's 74 00:05:56,280 --> 00:06:01,840 degree, which is something I have now doing at one of the busiest and most unlikely times 75 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:08,000 in my life. But again, you kind of got to dig deep and I realized that this is something 76 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:13,640 that's been on my heart for a long time and why not now? I also, also, go ahead. 77 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:18,800 Let's talk about that for a minute. So I know a couple months ago, you said that you need 78 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:23,760 to start living and you did a vision board. I did things that are on your vision board 79 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:28,440 are coming to fruition and you did it not even that long ago. And I think you said two 80 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:34,080 out of the three things on there have already manifested. Talk about your education piece 81 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:39,600 and how that kind of happened and manifested and from the vision board to, I think there 82 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:44,160 were a lot of God-wing coincidences, things that just had to line up exactly right. 83 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,960 Yeah. Okay. So I kind of had a revelation, I would say probably about six, seven months 84 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:53,200 ago, just one of those moments, you know, where you get quiet and you realize, you just 85 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:57,480 realize some things. And I realized that I think the pandemic changed all of us. I went 86 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:02,480 through a lot of things personally and professionally that just caused me to pause or things to 87 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:08,500 change. And without realizing it, I had stopped setting goals. And I've always been a goal 88 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:13,000 oriented person. I think that time, like Leslie said, I know this podcast is not about Mary 89 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:18,480 Kay, but being in business in a direct sales business, it did teach a lot about goals and 90 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:26,240 I learned how to set them. It became part of my life. And so, I think too with COVID, 91 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:30,560 we went into survival mode, like, okay, how am I going to survive this? And we stopped 92 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:35,160 dreaming and stopped setting goals and stopped paying attention to our vision because we're 93 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:39,920 just trying to survive. Yeah. And that's very true. And the more people that I talked to, 94 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:44,920 the more I realized that's been a commonality. But you know, I could tell you, I could tell 95 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:48,320 you what's going on in Virgin River on Netflix, but I couldn't tell you about my goals. And 96 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:54,720 so it was just time. And so, you know, I kind of went old school. It's been a while since 97 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:59,480 I've done a vision board, but if you've never done one before, it's a very cool exercise 98 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,080 to do. I remember the first time I ever made one, I thought it was stupid. I went kicking 99 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,640 and screaming like, why am I cutting out these pictures of things? 100 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,640 That's what a vision board is. And obviously I know it. 101 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:13,360 Yeah. Well, a vision board or some people call it, you know, like a goal poster, a vision 102 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:19,040 board is really, it's actually there's, there's neuroscience behind it. I'm having a healthcare 103 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,960 background. I like science and all that stuff, but your brain cannot tell the difference 104 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:27,240 between what's perceived and what's real. And so when you take those things visually 105 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:32,440 and you put them out there and you look at them, it actually helps you manifest them 106 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:37,400 because you will work towards them. And so what I realized is that I needed something 107 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:41,960 new and visual. I needed to take old stuff down. I needed to put new stuff off. And I, 108 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:48,320 it gave me, I gave myself permission to think about what was important to me and what would 109 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:53,720 make a difference now. And so in doing so, there were a couple of things I put on there 110 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:57,120 that were self care related, because it's very important for me in my life, right? At 111 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,880 this moment, I think it's important for all of us, but especially it's something I have 112 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:05,160 recognized they need to be mindful of. And so I put them on there and that's where my 113 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:10,480 fitness came, came from. I've always enjoyed being outside. It's not like I just woke up 114 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:15,840 and started exercising. I've always exercised, but I used to have specific fitness goals 115 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,320 and I had gotten away from those. 116 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:24,240 Well, and you, you in the last couple of years have become a caregiver. As you mentioned 117 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:29,680 with health issues. And I know what I've seen with health, with healthcare or caregivers 118 00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:34,800 is you put caregivers usually put themselves last and helping everybody else. So what I 119 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:40,040 admire about you is you finally decided like, I got to live my life and take care of me. 120 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:45,680 It's that whole airplane adage, you know, put them oxygen mask on yourself before you 121 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:46,680 do something else. 122 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:52,080 Yeah, absolutely. And that's really important. It's really easy for, I think women too, especially 123 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:57,400 not to, to be whatever gender specific, but we're kind of designed that way. You know, 124 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:02,540 whether you're a mom or whether you professionally are in a role where you take care of people 125 00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:06,840 or whether you're taking care of aging parents or a spouse or a friend or whatever, but it's 126 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:13,480 easy to, to, to push yourself last. And actually if you, it's not selfish to put yourself first, 127 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,440 because when you do, you, you're then able to give the best of yourself to those around 128 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:22,760 you. And so I put that on my poster and then in doing so, I realized I need some other 129 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:27,520 tangible goals and things that were not so big that I couldn't obtain them, but that 130 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:34,680 stretched me. And so it had been since 2019 that I had run a race. I'd actually had picked 131 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:38,760 up running six years ago. I had a personal trainer that taught me how to do it. And I 132 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,760 went kicking and screaming because I said, I'd never do this, but I realized once she 133 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:47,200 said your goal oriented and this will give you something to, to track. And I think it 134 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:54,600 would be very good for you. Well, I, I found that I actually liked it. And so, but I put 135 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:59,280 it down. And so again, it was one of those things I thought, you know what, this is tangible. 136 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:03,120 Like I remembered, I went back to that place that when I put those shoes on and I had a 137 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:08,440 race and I had something that I was working towards that, that gave me a win. And it was 138 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:14,400 something I could work on along the way. So I put a, I put a race on my, on my poster. 139 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,640 And then the other thing that I, there's a couple other things that are on there, but 140 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:21,760 the one big thing that just came out while I was looking at things. And when you create 141 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:26,000 these vision boards, again, you're cutting out pictures, you're, you might pick words 142 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:31,600 that apply to you. And so I had just kind of started, I kind of made a list of what 143 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:38,200 was important to me. And then I started looking for pictures that, that spoke to me. And so 144 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:43,840 when I did that, what was interesting was that I had kind of dug deep and thought about 145 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:48,800 the fact that once upon a time I wanted to go get my master's degree in nursing. But 146 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:53,400 again, as Leslie said, I had changed careers. And so I had put that down for a while. My 147 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:58,120 entire focus of my career has changed because I'm now no longer at the bedside. I've developed 148 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:06,360 a different skillset. And so what's available now that has evolved as well. And so that 149 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:10,640 came back on the table, like, wow, I, you know, I'm in a different place now. My life 150 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:15,200 is different. I work at home. Like I might be able to do this. Why, like, why not today? 151 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:19,440 So I put it on there, but not, it was kind of in the periphery. It wasn't something that 152 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:23,800 was going to happen right now, but that's kind of the power of your, your vision board 153 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:29,520 because things started to, to come up and made me think about it. And so it's almost 154 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:34,920 like being a woman. Like I remember when green was like the color of the season and I had 155 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,760 this green purse and I never really paid attention to green purses before until all of a sudden 156 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:42,320 I had one and everybody had a green purse and I could see it everywhere. 157 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:50,240 How they're reticular activating. Yes. And often or often kind of associated with like 158 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:54,440 red cars. Like if you're looking for a red car, all of a sudden you see red cars everywhere. 159 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:59,200 So if you're looking, if something's in your, in your brain and your reticular activating 160 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:06,400 system, all of a sudden you start seeing it and it starts manifesting. Yeah. So that's 161 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:10,840 kind of what, that's kind of what happened with the whole, with the whole education thing. 162 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:15,200 So, but it's not really a likely time. Like if you, it'd be very easy for me to say, well, 163 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:20,720 now it's not the season and I've done that for a long time, but why, why not? I know 164 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:25,560 you kind of did some, like it kind of came out of nowhere, like very quickly. So you 165 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:30,760 put it on your vision board, which was maybe a month ago, two months ago, two months ago. 166 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:40,160 Yeah. And then it started showing up. So you applied. I applied. I had a conversation. 167 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:45,120 I had a conversation and then I started to look into it some more. And then what I realized 168 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,680 is sometimes what we tell ourselves versus what's real are two different things. And 169 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:53,280 the more that I investigated it, I realized it was obtainable because it was something 170 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:58,840 I could, I could set a goal kind of like my fitness and work at it at bite-sized pieces 171 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,560 and make it manageable for me. So the thing about setting goals is you want to set something 172 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:12,460 that, that stretches you, but something that you could still, that you still have the passion 173 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:19,400 and the wherewithal to, to devote the time and energy to it. Cause otherwise you'll just 174 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:23,680 be frustrated. And what I recognize like with this, I could, you know, it was one class 175 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:28,720 at a time every eight weeks for a year and a half. And I thought I can do that. Right. 176 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:33,080 And then, you know, you found the school and you applied and pretty quickly you got in 177 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:38,720 like a week later, maybe week, like a week and a half. I mean, it just, it just moved. 178 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:43,920 Yeah. And then you said you talked to your boss and they're on board with it. Yeah. Yeah. 179 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:48,320 So very supportive. Are you getting scholarships? Have you figured that out? Are they providing? 180 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:53,560 No, no, there, there's, I mean, different employers have tuition reimbursement. I'm 181 00:14:53,560 --> 00:15:00,320 looking into that, you know, which is a possibility, but even so, you know, it just, things are 182 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:05,800 just starting to align, which is, which is very, very cool. Yeah. Yeah. Excited for you. 183 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,560 You start in March, March. Yes. March. And that's the thing. That's, that's my, I'll 184 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:14,520 talk about that a little later, but that's my, my goal is to start in March. The college 185 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:18,360 kept saying January and I kept saying, no March, you know, so you set your goals are 186 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:23,160 your goals. So you, you want to, you want to make them, you don't want someone else 187 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:29,400 to change what's best for you. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And you know, often too, we look at 188 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:34,840 things in life that we want to do complete start around those zero birthdays. And I know 189 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:40,480 you have a zero birthday coming up. My goal when I got my master's degree was to finish 190 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:46,400 by the time I turned 30, which I finished two months after I had my 30th birthday. And 191 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:52,000 ironically started my Mary Kay business the year I turned 30. Also, so those zero birthdays, 192 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,960 you start thinking, okay, how do I want, you know, all birthdays are beginning of the year. 193 00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,080 We kind of evaluate our life, but I think those zero birthdays, as we get up to higher 194 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,800 zero birthdays, we start looking at, okay, what do I want my life to look like? And I 195 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:09,680 think after COVID, I think it's a good time to evaluate. So as we end the year and look 196 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:16,440 into the new year, like spend some quiet time. And if Tamara and I were just talking beforehand, 197 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:20,080 one of the things I'd like to do with, then they're all week is to do some planning, reflecting 198 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:24,040 and goal setting. But I had to get rid of some of the clutter first before kind of had 199 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:28,560 to clear the decks of all the loose ends before I could start. And I do want to do a vision 200 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:32,520 board because like, Tamara, I haven't done one in a while. I actually had one up for 201 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:37,080 years. And it's a bulletin board that says dream in the middle. And I had all these pictures 202 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:42,240 posted. And last year at some point, I just took them all down. It's just been empty. 203 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:48,520 Like it's time to look at what those things are. And that gives you hope. Yeah, yeah, 204 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:52,360 it gives you hope. And that's one of the things I want this hotline to do or hotline, this 205 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:57,840 podcast to give people hope. And one of the subjects I would love to have if somebody 206 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:02,000 listening wants to share about is, you know, it's kind of talked about a little bit with 207 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:08,120 you, but the role of a caregiver, and what that looks like. And as we are getting older, 208 00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:13,240 the kind of world I'm swirling in, there's a lot of discussion about elder care, what 209 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:18,640 does that look like? Some subjects to kind of talk about that a lot of us are in that 210 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:25,040 boat to give people hope. So okay, so let's go back to your running. Okay, because that 211 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:30,200 was a cool little path. So you're gonna run, you decide it, you signed up for race, you 212 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:36,240 got that goal, you had that deadline. And then what did you do? I mean, I know the steps, 213 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:42,960 but let's talk about you got prepared. I did. Well, first of all, I, you know, I decided 214 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:49,000 that that was that was an obtainable goal for me. And I picked, you know, if you are 215 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,840 going to pick a goal, pick something that stretches you, but that's not something so 216 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:57,560 crazy big that you that you can't reach it reasonably. So I like that you had a shorter 217 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:02,280 time frame to I did, I did not super long, I just I've been reading a book called the 218 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:08,040 12 week gear and talks about when you have a year long goal, you rally at the end of 219 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,840 the year at the beginning of the year, like, it's got a long way to go. But when you have 220 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:16,320 a shorter time frame, you're more apt to rally from the beginning and not be able to say, 221 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,640 Oh, well, start that later, later. Yeah, this was nine weeks, it was nine weeks to train. 222 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:27,040 And I picked a 5k because I hadn't run and I had run in a race since 2019. And so put 223 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:31,040 that I remember having a conversation, you're like, Oh, I did that before, but I really 224 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:35,760 don't like running and I'm never going to run it again. Yep. Because what we say, right? 225 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:40,240 I did, I did. But you know, I went I went to a place where I had to put it down because 226 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:45,160 I wasn't I've been there done that. And then you you you you kind of have to be ready for 227 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:51,800 things and I recycled it because, you know, I was in a different place in my life. And 228 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:56,720 I realized that this was something that didn't require I mean, didn't require a lot of equipment 229 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:02,720 and just my shoes and, and new shoes, though, right? I actually bought two pairs of new 230 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:07,600 shoes. Yeah, you know, two pairs of shoes. I bought running lights. What did I do? I 231 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:11,560 treated myself to some new clothes and new workout clothes. I think that the biggest 232 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:17,560 thing that I did was once I decided I was going to to to do this that I that I signed 233 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,320 up right away. So I have something to hold my feet to the fire. And then everybody's 234 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:26,520 different. But I need accountability, like, and be careful who you share your lot of people 235 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:31,720 do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. And so I put it out there because I friends that run. 236 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,840 And I said, Hey, I'm running again. I'm going to do a race. Is anybody running it? Because 237 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:41,000 I thought, hey, it might be fun to have people to do it with. And so a neighbor of mine had 238 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,680 commented that, hey, I belong to a running club, you should you should join, come join 239 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:50,320 us, because it'll be a great place for you to train. And I thought, oh, boy. So I looked 240 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:55,480 it up and they're 530 in the morning. But that was the biggest catalyst for me, because 241 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:59,080 if you're really going to commit to something, what are like, there was a million reasons 242 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,480 why I could have said I wasn't going to do this, like, I'm too busy, I'm taking care 243 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:07,440 of someone else, I have these other responsibilities, I'm tired, it's, you know, and in the past, 244 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,680 when I had stopped, it was because I hadn't reframed things and figured out how to fit 245 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:16,960 it in. But at 530 in the morning, nothing else is going on except for me. So why not? 246 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:22,640 And to get out out again around some positive people. So I went and I, you know, I fell 247 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:28,520 in love with it. And so going there, he actually made relationships and connections with people. 248 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:32,520 And then I surrounded myself people with like minded people who are not going to let me 249 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:36,080 off the hook. I also, you know, shared with several people that were important in my life 250 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:40,560 that I was doing this. So then they're asking me about it. So it really helped me stay on 251 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:45,720 track. And the fact that I knew that I had a finish line across in nine weeks, and I'll 252 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,840 just tell a quick story, my last race that I did before, that was kind of the reason 253 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:53,520 I put it down for a while, I did not prepare for it. And I did not publicly share that 254 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:58,040 I was doing it. And I didn't really, I had some days doing it with but she was, it was 255 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:03,400 fun for us, but there was no accountability. And so I let myself off the hook and my outcome 256 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:08,440 was, it's very funny, but it was terrible. And so this time, I was, you know, came in 257 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:13,000 last, I was, I was the last one, the last one. In fact, the sweepers came and they picked 258 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,960 up the cones, I didn't think anybody else was running. But at that point, we had, we 259 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:20,440 were walking and we said that we were going to walk. So it was not about achieving anything. 260 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:25,160 But I realized that that may have been fun to a degree. But I think we were both a little 261 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:31,320 frustrated with it. And so, you know, again, have something that's that's gonna hold your 262 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:37,240 feet to the fire. And so for me, that that was it. And so I, you know, I trained for 263 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:42,400 it. And my running club only needs three days a week. And so on the off days, then I got 264 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,680 myself into a pattern. And so the days that I wasn't with the club, then I would go to 265 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:51,120 the gym, because it became I really started tracking my miles, I started tracking how 266 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:56,480 fast I was going, which I'm not fast, but my goal was just to, to finish and to do the 267 00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:02,480 to run the whole thing. And so it was good as it was measurable and obtainable. And I 268 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:09,000 think that was the really great thing about it. Yeah. And you know, you hit all goals 269 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:16,880 setting one on one topic. You know, our goal. But you know, first, you came to like you 270 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:21,240 had that aha, like, okay, I stopped dreaming, I stopped visualizing, you did your vision 271 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:26,040 board first. And then from there, you put you broke it down to the goal of what was 272 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:31,160 important to you getting your master's degree running a rate. You gave yourself a deadline, 273 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:38,760 which is important, instead of just someday and someday isn't a time you get had some 274 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,800 accountability buddies, you joined a club, you did it joined like minded people that 275 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:47,160 motivated you. And you knew your limitations. And I know you said there were some women 276 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:53,240 that ran like crazy and very diligent. There was one lady that kind of held back and ran 277 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:59,040 helped you and ran with you. Yes, you connect with them. You have scheduled the time to 278 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:03,920 fit into your world. And I think that's so important. You know, when you make a decision, 279 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:07,720 you've got to figure out how is it going to fit in your world? Instead of like, oh, I'll 280 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:12,280 do it sometime? No, you got to schedule it. And that's why I exercise in the morning too. 281 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,400 I have a new neighbor that keeps texting me in the middle of the day, the end of the day, 282 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:19,360 do you want to walk? Do you want to? I'm like, no, like I do it in the morning. First of 283 00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:23,920 all, I like to exercise in the morning, because it gets my day started. So not only am I exercising 284 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:28,920 when I'm getting fresh air outside, I'm listening to something positive, I'm getting my head 285 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:33,240 right for the day. So I know you had mentioned with running how that just made you feel good 286 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:37,880 and exercise releases endorphins and makes us feel good. And then, you know, hold your 287 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:43,400 feet to the fire, having that goal, that deadline, but not only that, but you were tracking it, 288 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:49,640 you were having measurable things like how far you ran and your speed. So all those things 289 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:54,560 go into account. So I think, you know, as we end the year, I think it takes some reflection. 290 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:58,280 I was talking to somebody earlier about it. And, you know, look at where you were last 291 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:03,600 year. And then what do you want to do this year? What how much more do you want to do? 292 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:10,040 Do you want to make more money and or be healthier or happier? I heard a podcast the other day 293 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:14,120 and the gentleman said, you know, as we get older, people start talking about retirement 294 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:18,320 and, you know, slowing down all this stuff. And he said, there is no reason why every 295 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:23,800 single day you can't get healthier, wealthier and happier. I'm like, I love that. Like, 296 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:29,000 you're not done. And I'm not ready to throw in the towel. So all those things just tie 297 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:33,640 into it. I'm so proud of you and all that you've done in spite of a lot of life going 298 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:38,760 on behind the scenes that you're living. You can't change what's going on in your world. 299 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:42,160 There's there's things that you can't control, but there's things that you are, you can. 300 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:46,560 And so I've I've made a choice, an intentional choice to control the things that I can. And 301 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:52,160 I choose positive things. So how are you feeling about your goals and what you're achieving? 302 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:57,560 I feel great. I mean, I'll be honest with you. I mean, when I first set the goal, it 303 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:02,640 was motivating. Like I was motivated. You know, I mean, I'm motivated to start school. 304 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:09,920 I'm I was motivated to to run the race after I ran the race, which was last Sunday and 305 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:16,280 across the finish line. I felt empowered and confident. I mean, the feeling that you get 306 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:20,640 when you set a personal goal and you reach it, it's just priceless. It's personal achievement. 307 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:25,360 And I'll tell you, and I thought this was interesting when I went, there was a lot of 308 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:29,040 people that were there like me just doing it on their own. There are people in groups, 309 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,520 but there's a lot of people just doing it on their own. You could tell they were doing 310 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:37,440 it just for them. And so I didn't need a big bunch of people cheering for me. In fact, 311 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:41,680 I had strangers cheering for me, which was fine. I crossed the finish line myself. And 312 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,880 that's because I chose to do it. And that that felt that felt great. So sometimes the 313 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:52,600 things that you do behind the scenes for yourself when no one is watching are the things that 314 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:58,320 mean the most, you know, and that's your scripture about that. You know, do those things. Don't 315 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:04,720 boast about it, but do it. Yeah, I can't put scripture, but I know there is one. And I 316 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:08,280 did share about it on social media. And I've had like all these, you know, friends of him 317 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,600 the crowd were going to congratulate me, but I didn't do it to boast. I just, I just wanted 318 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:16,040 to share my story. What I, what I did, cause it was, it was really fun, you know, and you 319 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,120 know, and that's what we talk about. Where can we give people hope? So let me ask you 320 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:25,720 this question is what encouragement would you give somebody else to say why not say? 321 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:31,280 I would just say, ask yourself, what's the worst thing that would happen if I did this 322 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,840 and what's the best thing that would happen if I did this and then think about what would 323 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:39,000 happen if you didn't. So, you know, when I was making decisions, I kind of think of those 324 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:44,400 things and then, you know what, and then take the first step. That first step is courageous. 325 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:49,040 And then once you take that first step, then take, take another step, you know, you matter 326 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:54,720 and, and you're, you're capable of a lot more than you think you are. And like Leslie said, 327 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:58,920 don't wait until January 1st, 2023 to set goals for the new year. I mean, the week between 328 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:04,840 Christmas and New Year's is a great time and great time to take inventory of what's important 329 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:09,560 to you and to take your first step. So how, how cool would it be to wake up on January 330 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:14,960 1st, 2023 with clarity and something to be excited about, you know, and one of, one of 331 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:20,200 my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29 11 and says, you know, God says, I know the plans I have 332 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:23,640 for you and that's plans to create a hope and a future, you know, and you're just going 333 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,480 to trust that God has, has good things for you. You know, if you pick something that's 334 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:30,200 the wrong thing, he's going to direct your path. You're all good. Let's get out there. 335 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,960 I love the time between Christmas and New Year's because things do kind of slow down. 336 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:40,880 I remember when I was in grad school and you didn't have to do school and, or even in college 337 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:45,200 and you know, work slow down. I usually take time off between Christmas and New Year's, 338 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:51,680 hated work at then. But it was time to clean out, rethink, get rid of the clutter, plan, 339 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:59,520 visualize. I know one of my most memorable New Year's and actually I interviewed my friend 340 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:04,600 Mary on this podcast. We talked about it. The two of us, I think we went to the movies 341 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:09,880 and went back to her condo and maybe had one drink, but not much. It wasn't like, I'm not 342 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:14,840 one of those big party on New Year's Eve kind of girls, but we made goal posters to end 343 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:21,680 the year. And I love waking up January 1st, just ready to run and just a clean slate, 344 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:29,240 ready to go. And I'm super excited about that. So connection to my dad, I always try to connect 345 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:34,240 back to my dad with everybody. And people are like, well, I never met your dad, which 346 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,600 you didn't, did you? I don't think you did. 347 00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:41,520 I did not meet your dad, but I feel like I know him through talking with you and talking 348 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:47,200 with your mom and the stories that you told, you know, your dad, from what I understand, 349 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:52,520 you know, Pat was very innovative and he left a legacy for his community. And I can relate 350 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:56,440 to you in many ways because I have a very strong relationship with my own dad, who I 351 00:28:56,440 --> 00:29:01,200 think is similar to your dad in many ways. And so I can appreciate and understand your 352 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:05,560 desire to honor him and to carry on his work through your podcasts and things that you're 353 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:13,160 doing in your community. So, and, and flat pat is with me all the time. We got my flat 354 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:14,160 pat right here. 355 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:18,520 Well, I love that the people are following you and they encourage you. I know you said 356 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:22,680 you took your, why not today cup with you to the race to encourage you. And it's just 357 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:28,880 a one off day. And so, you know, you did not know my dad, but you are Golar in which he 358 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:33,080 was. And, you know, one kind of connection is he did as a city planner, he did work in 359 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:38,520 the Florida area, Sarasota right there where you live and clear water. So have that connection 360 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:44,120 to him. And he loved the sun and he loved the beach. And I know you do too. So we could 361 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:50,000 talk forever and ever, but I want to thank you for joining me. And I hope we've given 362 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:59,240 people courage and motivation to start something new in the new year or finish strong in the 363 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,840 end of the year. One of the things that I am finishing strong, I know Pam and I were 364 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:07,000 having conversations about finishing and I looked at my to do list and the thing that's 365 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:12,000 been on my to do list, probably may is to do a website for the why not today podcast. 366 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:16,560 So it is getting finished right now and it will launch before the end of the year. And 367 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:22,840 I'm excited to have that clean slate. So you can find the why not today podcast on Spotify, 368 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:28,600 Google, Apple, iTunes, any place you can find it. But one of the things I'm starting to 369 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:35,120 look at is if you listen to it, review it, share it with somebody, rate it. Maybe do 370 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:39,000 some contests and things the new year about that, because I was kind of looking at the 371 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:44,280 algorithm. I was surprised at how many people follow my Facebook group, but I don't know 372 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:51,320 who's listening. Let me know if you're listening. Share, comment, as I said, review and share 373 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,200 the why not today message with somebody else. I do have cups and I have vinyls that you 374 00:30:55,200 --> 00:31:00,320 can get and t-shirts, long and short sleeves. And so, you know, spread that why not today 375 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:07,880 message. So thanks again, Tamara, for sharing your story and your courage. And just remember, 376 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:14,880 say why not today. Thanks again for joining us.