All right. Hello, this is Leslie Kane. I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast. This
is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, why not today? I
started this podcast to honor my father, Patrick Kane, who often said, why not today? I'm based
in Reston, Virginia, a Planned Community right outside of Washington, DC, and thanks for
joining us today. And I'm excited to have Tim Ward, a friend of mine, and he's also
a pastor of Crossroads Church. I don't know if that's the whole name, but we'll talk
about him in a minute, and Ash from Virginia. And before we hear about Tim, I always like
to talk about connections and how we got connected and where you meet people. You just never
know. So I had heard of Tim from people. He was in a church in Reston. I kept hearing
about this Tim Ward and Restoration Church. And I'll never forget the time we first met
you was when we both spoke at Bob Simon's Vigil. And you walked up to me and you're
like, you're Olivia Littles' aunt. I'm like, how the heck did you figure that out? I was
quite impressed. And then we've kind of connected in lots of different ways. And I am grateful
for you and our friendship. And I've never actually been to your church, which one of
these officially I've been to the trunk retreat. But one of these days I'm going to come up,
listen to you online, but love your message and what you share. So Tim, I'm excited to
have you on today. So why don't you introduce yourself and tell us a fun fact that people
might not know about you.
Sure. You know, I always say the best introduction of myself is that I am Susan Ward's husband,
my wife, amazing and incredible. And I have three really cool kids, two in eighth grade
and one in 10th grade currently. And a lot of my life is really surrounded around my
kids and around the church and are calling to be in the community and care for the community.
I've been a pastor for 15 years. Wow. Serving three different churches, always with a mindset
of how we reach people and connect with new people. A fun fact about me, if I want to
go back, I remember it was in college and wisdom teeth time, my little sister and I
were both getting our wisdom teeth out and she went in and they came out after doing
her x-rays and they said she has five wisdom teeth. And I remember saying, Oh, my sister,
she's a freak, right? Who has five wisdom teeth. Well, then I went in for my x-rays
and I had six. So I lost all of my wisdom at one time when I was in college. But, you
know, it's just this weird fact that people like, how do you have it? Well, now one of
my kids has gone in for x-rays and they found two extra wisdom teeth. And this hereditary
thing, but it's just kind of cool and kind of neat that that tradition of weirdness continues
in our families.
That's fun. I love that. That's a fun fact. So let's start out with what does courage
mean to Tim Warren? You know, for me, when I think about courage, I think about the calling
and the response to do something that you don't want to do, but it's really important,
right? Courage is doing something that you need to do either on behalf of somebody else
for justice, to do something that's right. And often it's not courage if it doesn't push
you a little bit. We have a saying in our church right now that says there's no growth
in the comfort zone. Courage usually takes you out of your comfort zone. But for me,
it's almost always about doing something that's really important. I don't actually think courage
is jumping off a tall building. I've done that. I don't feel like that's courage because
it's a moment. I think courage takes time and takes energy and takes thought. So yeah.
I love that. All those things are so important. And yeah, doing those things we don't really
feel like doing. Yup. Doing them anyway. And I found in my life, you do it and you're so
grateful you did. Like, oh, that wasn't so hard. Exactly. I think that's the deal, especially
when it does something to bring value to somebody else, right? Importance and value. I'm all
about that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So tell me what have you done in your life to take
courage? Yeah. I, Leslie and I talked a little bit about this. I think there are several
moments in my life that have been pivot moments where I've had to do courageous things. I
could spend a lot of time today talking about how many times I've wanted to leave the church.
There have been moments that have been hard. The church is all, you know, often known for
being judgmental. And I've experienced that in my own life in the church. I've experienced
a lot of goodness from the church too. So don't hear that that's my whole story. But
there was a moment, goodness, it must've been back in 2014 where I was having one of those
moments where I said, I think maybe I'm supposed to leave the church again because what I was
longing for was to be part of a community where, where we could do something that brought
real benefit to the community without judgment and was inclusive of all people. And I wasn't
sure that I could find that in the church. And, you know, I had some conversations with
some people, one, the pastor at the church where I was serving at the time. And we have
something called a district superintendent in our system, which is somebody who's sort
of your boss. And they both said, have you ever thought about starting your own church
and planting a church? And honestly, my first thought was that's crazy. That's insane. Right?
Heck no. And actually, ironically, I started praying about it because that's what I do
in my tradition, right? For courage. I'm like, God, what do you want me to do? How do you
want me to respond? And there were two locations that we were thinking about. One was Rest
in Virginia and one was Ashburn, Virginia, ironically. So where were you before? I was
in Herndon at the time. So I was at Florist in Herndon. And it was this moment where we
didn't know if this was going to work in Reston, right? We didn't know. I mean, my family's
security was sort of on the line, right? I'm stepping out into a new land where we don't
have generosity that's already there, but I felt such a strong calling. I remember sitting
down with the bishop at the time in our system and he said, so tell me why you want to do
this. And I said, oh, oh, let me be clear. I don't want to do this. I said, I feel more
called to do this than anything because Reston is this beautiful community that I think the
thing that's missing is a church that's willing to go out into the community and be fully
present and fully open and fully welcoming to all people. So as a result, you know, we
did this thing, it was super scary. I was terrified for our first few months of doing
it, but as a result, we developed really incredible relationships and Reston, we had many folks
who lived at Embrey Rucker Shelter who came to worship at our church, which brings a new
dynamic and another. Going back to Embrey Rucker Shelter. Yeah, it's a homeless shelter
in Reston. And for those of you listening that aren't from Reston, Reston is the town,
which I talk about often where I grew up, which is a very unique community. It's interesting
talking about a church that's welcoming and going back to Embrey Rucker, how that connects.
Do you know about Embrey Rucker's church? I did. Yes. Yes. Embrey Rucker was a friend
of my dad, old school Reston. Remember he had this big old beard, it looked like Santa
Claus, but at Lake Anne Plaza, where I live and grew up near, he had a church. It was
called, what was it? It was, I want to say community center, but do you remember what
it was called? I know, I, you know what? I know exactly what it is too, but I can't think
of it. Well think of it. So, and ironically, there was all these discussions on social
media the other day about, I guess it then became a daycare. Ah, it starts with a C,
I can't remember. But it was basically a coffee shop slash church that everybody was welcome.
And he was just this super laid back, you know, growing up and going to a Catholic church,
he was nothing like I knew a priest or pastor should look like, but he was very welcoming
and inviting everybody. So I love how it comes full circle that then people from the shelter
went to your church. Yeah. And so that was a dynamic of folks who came. Another dynamic
was we had folks who were part of the transgender community that came to Restoration and felt
comfortable being there and being who they were. And we had folks who lived in Reston
and were really interested in the fact that this church was meeting in an elementary school
at the time, which is where it met next to a voucher choice housing community. And we
had folks from that voucher choice housing community and we had folks who live on Lake
Anne and business owners. So the courage, I think, was for me to step out and say, God,
I know you're telling me to do this thing. And now we got to do it. The next big courageous
moment was when I got a call from my district superintendent six years later and said, hey,
there's another place that needs you. It's time for you to go. And I remember being like,
wait, what? What are you talking about? Right? This is our community. This is where we are.
And I would just say that to respond to that, and now at an incredibly inclusive church
in Ashburn and a beautiful community that longed for leadership that just told them
they were a beautiful community. Right. And I think those are two moments. I've had a
lot of moments in my life in the church where I felt rejected by the church. I've had a
lot of moments where I've seen the church reject others. And I think the calling is
for us to step out, whether we're the church or not, and really welcome people. And I think
it takes courage to step out and connect with people who you don't know. I saw something
the other day that said, I love you. It was a big sign that somebody put out in their
yard. And somebody responded, how can you love me? And they said, well, people hate
people for no reason at all when they don't know them. Why can't I love people that I
don't know as well? And I think that takes courage to step out and do that.
Yeah, absolutely. So let's go back to restoration before we get to Ashburn, because I love what
you did at restoration and all the inclusion you had and just the different people and
how you just jumped in were so involved in the community. Like I said, I'd heard about
you for a while. I'm like, who is this Tim Moor guy? And then honestly, my first thought
when you spoke at Bob Simon's Vigil was like, why is he speaking? He doesn't know Reston.
He hasn't been here long. But Reston is a very unique community. And what you brought
was exactly what Reston needed and what Reston is. I actually had a conversation with somebody
the other day from a small North Carolina town. And their idea of Northern Virginia
is all super rich people that have everything white, white collar, just, and I was like,
really? Like there's Section 8 housing in Reston. He's like, really? Like, that's how
I grew up. And I know when I spoke at Bob Simon's Vigil talking about the courage of
him starting Reston and having a diverse community, like that's what we knew. And it was unique.
And so you were able to, I think, since Reston was a lot older, I mean, it's not really that
old anyway, but I think the things you did were really what Simon had a calling for.
And you did get so involved and I saw you doing everything. And I know one of my earlier
podcasts we interviewed Adrian Caldwell, who you brought to a Best in Reston event. And
he was so moved by the nonprofit Cornerstones, it's active in Reston. So it's the ripple
effect of your courage gives us somebody else courage mentoring him. So kind of cool all
the things you've been able to do and give people courage to come to church and worship
God wherever they come from.
That's exactly right. You know, Leslie, you talked about getting connected to the Reston
community. I'll be honest, I came in, we have a phrase, a theological term, ex nihilo, right,
out of nothing. Right. I walk into this community and to your point, I'm nobody walking into
Reston, right. At the time.
Ironically, Herndon is like next door.
Exactly. Right.
Five minutes.
And we had, my wife and I, for our first house, we had lived in Reston. We actually lived
in, we were the caretakers of the old Wheely Mansion, which is on Reston, Old Reston Avenue.
Okay.
Which used to be the prison fellowship property and all that. But anyway, so we had lived
in Reston.
I think we've talked about that. That's a cool place.
It's a really cool place. But anyway, the way I got connected was I would literally
walk in and I would meet with somebody and then I would say, tell me the next person
I need to meet with. Right. And it would be, you need to meet with Leslie Kane, right.
And Leslie Kane would tell me to go meet with Eve Thompson and Eve Thompson would tell me
to go meet with Andy Siegel, right. And Andy Siegel would tell me to go meet with Melissa
Romano. And it was that over and over and over again. And I had the gift of being in
a group that was a group of pastors that regularly met with Bob Simon when he was still alive.
Oh wow.
And he would come in and just share his vision. And you know, he was certainly not a particularly
religious person. I don't want to pretend like that and push that on anybody. But he
had a passion for that community and a love for Reston and a vision that excited me to
be part of that community. So the way that I got so involved was I just kept, you know,
frankly, sticking my nose in everywhere and saying, you know, how can I be involved in
this and how can I be involved this to the point where when Bob Simon died, I got a call
from and I think it was Eve Thompson at the time. I'm trying to remember exactly what
it was who said, we want you to do it. And I said, why me? We've only been here like
a year and a half. What is this? And they said, because you already know so many people
and you're already trusted. And that wasn't a Tim Ward's great thing. That was a, the
rest and community just brought me in so beautifully and so well.
When you are pretty great. And I love how I think one of your superpowers is remembering
people and knowing people. And just the fact the thing with my niece, I was like, wow,
and how you connected with her and made a difference with her is that she went to your
church one time after going to camp. And I think you sent her a thank you note with the
Starbucks gift card. I'm like, who does that? You just did that extra, made the connection
and we're very welcome. And we were super duper sad that you left and I miss seeing
you. One of the things that I love that we would just have conversations, going for a
walk around the lake. And that's just a great way to connect. And I think one thing you
shared with me one time we were walking is that you said when you met with people and
entered people with church and stuff, going for a walk or something was always a great
way for people to have courage to open up. Cause you weren't staring eyeball to eyeball,
but next to each other could have a conversation. Yeah, it's so true. And I mean, I've continued
that since I've moved too, because that was a value. I just loved walking around Lake
Ann. I thought it's beautiful and I loved seeing people, but I found, you know, I remember
when I was a parent of young children and they were talking about having, frankly having
the sex talk with your kids and they said, do it when you're driving and the kids in
the back seat and you're upfront, cause you're not looking eye to eye with them. And it gives
the encourage to ask questions. And I think that's the same thing when folks are dealing
with challenging things. If you're walking, you're beside someone and you're walking with,
you're not looking down on them. You're not, you know, it's a, it's a journey thing, which
I think super cool. Yeah. My sister and other mothers have always told me the best way to
find out what's going on with your kids is drive on places. That's exactly right. In
the back seat, having these conversations. Yep. That's exactly right. Yes. So obviously
it's occurred to me to Ashburn and to a new church and that was established church. Yeah.
So it was like restoration. It was started. It was a started church, but it was started
30 years ago. So back when Ashburn was like brand new, right? Even there 30 years ago.
I barely, I mean, it really was that the house that we live in, in Ashburn is one of the
original homes and it's a 1992 house. So that gives you the context of the time. Yeah. That's
crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Ashburn seems like it was just there yesterday at cornfield. So how
are things different in Ashburn? Ashburn, if you had to have different courage to navigate
that and obviously walking into a church that was established was a different courage for
you. Sure. I mean, I followed the pastor who founded the church. There was somebody who
was here in between us for a few months as an interim, but I really followed the pastor
who was very beloved, a great pastor here at Crossroads. So that in and of itself was
a moment of courage, right? I'm stepping into the church just like, I mean, the person who
followed me at restoration, I was only there six years, but he had to follow the person
who founded it, right? Which is hard to get back and that's difficult. And you did a great
job transitioning by the way. And you did exactly what you did. These are the people
you need to meet. So I met Daniel and Isaiah and love them. And we were very sad seeing
you leave restoration, but they've done a great job. Yeah. And I think that's really
important. So I think the biggest difference that I had to figure out in Ashburn versus
Reston, Reston has some very natural gathering places, some city centers, right? Like I like
to say Lake Anne is a natural gathering place for people. That was intentional. You know
that? Absolutely. You have to park your car and drive in. So you have to connect and talk
to people. Exactly. And in some ways, a newer, different version of that is the town center,
right? Where people come and they connect. And Ashburn doesn't have that, right? We don't
have, and we have one, but it's a little bit different. It doesn't feel quite the same.
So the courage was to figure out first what the heart of the people of the church were,
right? So what's the heart of the people? What do they care about? And when I got here,
I was at church, so we care about two really big things. We want to connect with and serve
our surrounding community, right? And the second was we really want to know one another
because we can't do that work until we build a community and build relationships with one
another. So it was figuring out what are the watering holes, the local watering holes of
this community. And what I found is that it's mostly coffee shops, right? So I find myself
in a lot of local coffee shops that are around here. I love Blend. Have you been to Blend?
I've been to Blend several times, yeah. And SO, which is right here beside us. So I've
been to these places and I think that was the big major difference. We had to look in
Reston where our elementary school was, we were right beside Voucher Choice Housing,
right? There was deep poverty in that elementary school. People like to say in Loudoun County,
there's no poverty and that's simply not true, right? I went and met with the principal of
the middle school where my kids were going to go and after five minutes, we stopped talking
about my kids because I said, look, I'm your pastor. I'm the pastor of the church that's
right here beside you and I want to know what are your needs. And she just opened up and
was oozing about the number of families they have in their school that were unhoused in
Ashburn, Virginia about how they have cafeteria workers and custodians who based on their
salary at the school literally can't make ends meet and how we can be a support to them
and an encouragement to them. So part of it was in Reston, some of that stuff sort of
more naturally open to have. Which ironically, people don't see that. People think, like
I remember I was involved in Leadership Fairfax and we did a project on food insecurity and
I remember mentioning it to somebody and their first responsible, Reston doesn't have food
insecurity. Oh my word, so much. And it's kind of like looking at Ashburn, like you would
never think Reston did in Ashburn, but it's so true and so prevalent and you just don't
know it. Yeah, so it's about asking the questions and that's, I think one of the things that
takes courage is to ask people questions, right? Is to say, what do you need? How can
we be the church? I just joined another chamber out here because it's out here and it's local
and I was meeting with the CSR, the lead of that team, which is the Community Social Responsibility
team. And I said, hey, before we get started, I just want to get this out of the way. I'm
not a creepy pastor. I'm not going to try to convert you to anything. Like I'm about
serving the community and she was like, oh, thank God, right? Like we can have a normal
conversation. And what was really important about that was I just wanted to ask a lot
of questions. She's like, I want to hear your expertise. And I said, well, you're in this
community. I want to connect with you, right? And I want to hear what you know about this
community and how I can be a support and an encouragement to it. So I think a lot of it
that's been different out here that took courage was asking questions in a different way. I
could sit down with the founder of Ashburn that doesn't exist, right? Like I could sit
down with the founder of Reston. But the other difference is I came into a church when I
started Reston Restoration, there wasn't a bunch of people that knew the community super,
super well, right? We came in and we met people that were already there. I came into a church
that lives in this community that has hundreds of people that are already deeply involved.
So I just wanted to hear the heart and passion of the people. And I had to ask questions
for that too. You do an awesome job of that and make me want to be better at asking questions,
getting to know people. So let's talk. Okay. What encouragement would you give somebody
to say why not say? You know, I think the biggest thing I would say is I don't want
to live a life of regrets. I believe in transformation and I believe transformation happens in me
and I believe transformation happens in others. And if I'm always going, well, I'll do that
tomorrow, I'm missing out on what could be something really beautiful right now and today.
So I would say the biggest thing is you don't want to live life with regrets. Do it today.
The worst thing somebody can say is no. Exactly. And I say that often. I remember that's one
thing I always tell people like what's the worst thing you can do. And the first memory
of that is your friends is like, do you want to have a sleepover? And they're like, well,
I'm afraid to ask my parents. I'm like, why are you afraid? The worst they can say is
no. Like, yeah. And so talk about regret. I often mention that in this podcast a lot.
One of the books I read right when I started was Daniel Pink's book on regret. Have you
read that? No, I haven't. So and he's actually local, by the way, Virginia. And I think lived
in Reston, but he has a book on regret. And he wrote it after going to his daughter's
college graduation. And then he's like, how did I get here? I was just graduating from
college. And he's like, what are the things I wish I would have done? And he started interviewing
people asking about regret and did research and started a book. It's a great book. And
it just, you know, that's kind of motivated me with this. Like do the thing. Ask the question.
The worst. Yeah. The worst thing somebody can say is no. Yeah. I remember a time I was
walking with someone through the end of life experience for them. It was somebody I'd spent
quite a bit of time with. She became a dear friend of mine. She was older. And I remember
sitting down with her and I was holding her hand on one of the last days of her life.
And I said, is there anything you wish that you'd have done in your life that you didn't
do? And she said, I have absolutely no regrets. And I thought that's the way that I want to
end my time on this earth. Yeah. Whatever it is, I want to be able to say, you know
what? I don't regret it. And the truth is, you know, I could regret the argument that
I had with my kids last night, right? I could regret the way I said something or I could
work on myself to try to change and do the thing for tomorrow. And if I'm spending my
life regretting yesterday, then that stops me from living into today and tomorrow. Yeah.
Totally agree. And there's been lots of opportunities. I've had conversations with people recently
about elder care and people getting older. And then on Friday, I went I went to a funeral
of a friend of mine from high school that was 55 that had a heart attack. And then Friday
evening and Saturday went to a golf tournament with another friend on her son, who four years
ago was yesterday actually was killed by he was 22 years old and working as a lineman
and killed as by a drunk driver. And both those things and often things like, you know
what? I just want to live my life. Like, I'm sad, but it's made me more convicted to say,
okay, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of today and enjoy the life and do the thing and just
know God's going to take care of it. Yeah. And I think that, you know, when I do celebration
of life services, funerals, I always remind people this is actually not for the person
who's who's died. This is for us to try to take the traits of those people, try to make
ourselves better today commit to a life of serving others caring for others loving others,
right, so that we don't have any regrets. Right. You know that song, three little birds?
Yes. So I went to a funeral years ago, a young 20 something year old that was killed in a
car accident. And as we left the funeral, they played that song. And it's always stuck
with me. And that is actually I think I haven't done it yet. But I think that's gonna be the
theme song for this podcast. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, it's just almost bring tears. It's like,
you know, it's just Well, I appreciate all that you said, I've taken notes, and I'm probably
gonna have to go back and read transcripts of this one. But I always go back to the connection
to my dad. And you obviously never met my dad, because I think I asked you before you
got interested. But so many things you said. So first, you're starting a church in a school.
I don't know if you realize this, but St. Thomas of Beckett, the church that I grew
up in started at Lakey at elementary school, and then Isaac Newton Square, and my dad was
a part although, you know, not a pastor, but a part of the community. And it was rest in
the there was actually an organization of starting the Catholic Church in rest in because
we used to go to Herndon, but they were instrumental in starting that. So that's a connection to
my dad, all your connections and community and getting to know people and asking questions,
I think is so much like my father, I actually have a couple friends of mine that said, you
know, they had more conversations with my father than they ever did their own father,
which is sad, but my dad would ask hard questions. And he wasn't afraid to ask you those questions
and to get to know you. And I think you're a master at that also. So yeah, you're a younger
version of me and my dad. I hear about him all the I feel like I know him because I hear
about the time and connections. And I'm just so grateful for his influence, not just on
rest in but frankly on the world. Yeah, I think he has done a lot to change and connect
and hopefully I will pass on that legacy. So Leslie, how do people get in touch with
you, Tim? Where where can they find you? And I will share the show notes too. Yeah, sure.
I'm currently the pastor at Crossroads, UMC and Ashburn, which is a beautiful, amazing
community of unlimited welcome, where it doesn't matter what your story is, what your history
is, what your background is, we'd love to meet you and connect with you. You can reach
me go to our website, Crossroadsnova.org. You'll see me there. My email address is on there
too. And I would love to take you for a cup of coffee and hear your story and connect
with you. Well, thank you again for sharing with us about what courage means to you. You
can find the Why Not Today podcast on Spotify, iTunes, I think we're on Google, all those
places. We are working on the website. We do have fun Why Not Today gear. We have t shirts
and cups and vinyls to share the message to say why not today. So thanks again for listening.
Thanks, Tim, for being here. And we will be here again in two weeks. Awesome. Thanks,
Tim. Thank you.