1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,120 All right. Hello, this is Leslie Kane. I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast. This 2 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:11,960 is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, why not today? I 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:16,920 started this podcast to honor my father, Patrick Kane, who often said, why not today? I'm based 4 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,640 in Reston, Virginia, a Planned Community right outside of Washington, DC, and thanks for 5 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:25,720 joining us today. And I'm excited to have Tim Ward, a friend of mine, and he's also 6 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,000 a pastor of Crossroads Church. I don't know if that's the whole name, but we'll talk 7 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:33,120 about him in a minute, and Ash from Virginia. And before we hear about Tim, I always like 8 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,280 to talk about connections and how we got connected and where you meet people. You just never 9 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:42,280 know. So I had heard of Tim from people. He was in a church in Reston. I kept hearing 10 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:47,160 about this Tim Ward and Restoration Church. And I'll never forget the time we first met 11 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:51,920 you was when we both spoke at Bob Simon's Vigil. And you walked up to me and you're 12 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:57,840 like, you're Olivia Littles' aunt. I'm like, how the heck did you figure that out? I was 13 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:03,840 quite impressed. And then we've kind of connected in lots of different ways. And I am grateful 14 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:08,360 for you and our friendship. And I've never actually been to your church, which one of 15 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,960 these officially I've been to the trunk retreat. But one of these days I'm going to come up, 16 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:16,320 listen to you online, but love your message and what you share. So Tim, I'm excited to 17 00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:21,600 have you on today. So why don't you introduce yourself and tell us a fun fact that people 18 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,120 might not know about you. 19 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:28,640 Sure. You know, I always say the best introduction of myself is that I am Susan Ward's husband, 20 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:35,640 my wife, amazing and incredible. And I have three really cool kids, two in eighth grade 21 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:40,360 and one in 10th grade currently. And a lot of my life is really surrounded around my 22 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:46,440 kids and around the church and are calling to be in the community and care for the community. 23 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:53,080 I've been a pastor for 15 years. Wow. Serving three different churches, always with a mindset 24 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:59,000 of how we reach people and connect with new people. A fun fact about me, if I want to 25 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:05,080 go back, I remember it was in college and wisdom teeth time, my little sister and I 26 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:09,720 were both getting our wisdom teeth out and she went in and they came out after doing 27 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,800 her x-rays and they said she has five wisdom teeth. And I remember saying, Oh, my sister, 28 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,400 she's a freak, right? Who has five wisdom teeth. Well, then I went in for my x-rays 29 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:23,280 and I had six. So I lost all of my wisdom at one time when I was in college. But, you 30 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,520 know, it's just this weird fact that people like, how do you have it? Well, now one of 31 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:32,400 my kids has gone in for x-rays and they found two extra wisdom teeth. And this hereditary 32 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:37,860 thing, but it's just kind of cool and kind of neat that that tradition of weirdness continues 33 00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:38,860 in our families. 34 00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:44,360 That's fun. I love that. That's a fun fact. So let's start out with what does courage 35 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:52,040 mean to Tim Warren? You know, for me, when I think about courage, I think about the calling 36 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:57,240 and the response to do something that you don't want to do, but it's really important, 37 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:03,480 right? Courage is doing something that you need to do either on behalf of somebody else 38 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:09,600 for justice, to do something that's right. And often it's not courage if it doesn't push 39 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:14,720 you a little bit. We have a saying in our church right now that says there's no growth 40 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:20,640 in the comfort zone. Courage usually takes you out of your comfort zone. But for me, 41 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,760 it's almost always about doing something that's really important. I don't actually think courage 42 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:29,440 is jumping off a tall building. I've done that. I don't feel like that's courage because 43 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:35,360 it's a moment. I think courage takes time and takes energy and takes thought. So yeah. 44 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:40,800 I love that. All those things are so important. And yeah, doing those things we don't really 45 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:46,440 feel like doing. Yup. Doing them anyway. And I found in my life, you do it and you're so 46 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:51,920 grateful you did. Like, oh, that wasn't so hard. Exactly. I think that's the deal, especially 47 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:57,960 when it does something to bring value to somebody else, right? Importance and value. I'm all 48 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:03,360 about that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So tell me what have you done in your life to take 49 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:09,600 courage? Yeah. I, Leslie and I talked a little bit about this. I think there are several 50 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:14,640 moments in my life that have been pivot moments where I've had to do courageous things. I 51 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:19,640 could spend a lot of time today talking about how many times I've wanted to leave the church. 52 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:23,080 There have been moments that have been hard. The church is all, you know, often known for 53 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:27,160 being judgmental. And I've experienced that in my own life in the church. I've experienced 54 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:31,480 a lot of goodness from the church too. So don't hear that that's my whole story. But 55 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,760 there was a moment, goodness, it must've been back in 2014 where I was having one of those 56 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:40,560 moments where I said, I think maybe I'm supposed to leave the church again because what I was 57 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:46,480 longing for was to be part of a community where, where we could do something that brought 58 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:52,120 real benefit to the community without judgment and was inclusive of all people. And I wasn't 59 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,960 sure that I could find that in the church. And, you know, I had some conversations with 60 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,680 some people, one, the pastor at the church where I was serving at the time. And we have 61 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,720 something called a district superintendent in our system, which is somebody who's sort 62 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:07,760 of your boss. And they both said, have you ever thought about starting your own church 63 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:12,440 and planting a church? And honestly, my first thought was that's crazy. That's insane. Right? 64 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:17,040 Heck no. And actually, ironically, I started praying about it because that's what I do 65 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,440 in my tradition, right? For courage. I'm like, God, what do you want me to do? How do you 66 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:25,440 want me to respond? And there were two locations that we were thinking about. One was Rest 67 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:31,400 in Virginia and one was Ashburn, Virginia, ironically. So where were you before? I was 68 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:37,040 in Herndon at the time. So I was at Florist in Herndon. And it was this moment where we 69 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:41,680 didn't know if this was going to work in Reston, right? We didn't know. I mean, my family's 70 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:46,240 security was sort of on the line, right? I'm stepping out into a new land where we don't 71 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,920 have generosity that's already there, but I felt such a strong calling. I remember sitting 72 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:55,360 down with the bishop at the time in our system and he said, so tell me why you want to do 73 00:05:55,360 --> 00:06:01,000 this. And I said, oh, oh, let me be clear. I don't want to do this. I said, I feel more 74 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:07,120 called to do this than anything because Reston is this beautiful community that I think the 75 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:12,940 thing that's missing is a church that's willing to go out into the community and be fully 76 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:18,840 present and fully open and fully welcoming to all people. So as a result, you know, we 77 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:23,000 did this thing, it was super scary. I was terrified for our first few months of doing 78 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:29,480 it, but as a result, we developed really incredible relationships and Reston, we had many folks 79 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:33,720 who lived at Embrey Rucker Shelter who came to worship at our church, which brings a new 80 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:39,280 dynamic and another. Going back to Embrey Rucker Shelter. Yeah, it's a homeless shelter 81 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:43,480 in Reston. And for those of you listening that aren't from Reston, Reston is the town, 82 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:49,320 which I talk about often where I grew up, which is a very unique community. It's interesting 83 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:53,960 talking about a church that's welcoming and going back to Embrey Rucker, how that connects. 84 00:06:53,960 --> 00:07:00,600 Do you know about Embrey Rucker's church? I did. Yes. Yes. Embrey Rucker was a friend 85 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,880 of my dad, old school Reston. Remember he had this big old beard, it looked like Santa 86 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:10,360 Claus, but at Lake Anne Plaza, where I live and grew up near, he had a church. It was 87 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:16,400 called, what was it? It was, I want to say community center, but do you remember what 88 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:20,680 it was called? I know, I, you know what? I know exactly what it is too, but I can't think 89 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,600 of it. Well think of it. So, and ironically, there was all these discussions on social 90 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:29,280 media the other day about, I guess it then became a daycare. Ah, it starts with a C, 91 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:34,240 I can't remember. But it was basically a coffee shop slash church that everybody was welcome. 92 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:39,600 And he was just this super laid back, you know, growing up and going to a Catholic church, 93 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:44,480 he was nothing like I knew a priest or pastor should look like, but he was very welcoming 94 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:49,640 and inviting everybody. So I love how it comes full circle that then people from the shelter 95 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:54,760 went to your church. Yeah. And so that was a dynamic of folks who came. Another dynamic 96 00:07:54,760 --> 00:08:00,560 was we had folks who were part of the transgender community that came to Restoration and felt 97 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:05,360 comfortable being there and being who they were. And we had folks who lived in Reston 98 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,760 and were really interested in the fact that this church was meeting in an elementary school 99 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:14,360 at the time, which is where it met next to a voucher choice housing community. And we 100 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,760 had folks from that voucher choice housing community and we had folks who live on Lake 101 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:25,920 Anne and business owners. So the courage, I think, was for me to step out and say, God, 102 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:29,780 I know you're telling me to do this thing. And now we got to do it. The next big courageous 103 00:08:29,780 --> 00:08:34,200 moment was when I got a call from my district superintendent six years later and said, hey, 104 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:38,400 there's another place that needs you. It's time for you to go. And I remember being like, 105 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:43,640 wait, what? What are you talking about? Right? This is our community. This is where we are. 106 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:48,600 And I would just say that to respond to that, and now at an incredibly inclusive church 107 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:53,720 in Ashburn and a beautiful community that longed for leadership that just told them 108 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:59,240 they were a beautiful community. Right. And I think those are two moments. I've had a 109 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:03,720 lot of moments in my life in the church where I felt rejected by the church. I've had a 110 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:08,960 lot of moments where I've seen the church reject others. And I think the calling is 111 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:14,680 for us to step out, whether we're the church or not, and really welcome people. And I think 112 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:19,600 it takes courage to step out and connect with people who you don't know. I saw something 113 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:24,000 the other day that said, I love you. It was a big sign that somebody put out in their 114 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,360 yard. And somebody responded, how can you love me? And they said, well, people hate 115 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:32,040 people for no reason at all when they don't know them. Why can't I love people that I 116 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,840 don't know as well? And I think that takes courage to step out and do that. 117 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:40,920 Yeah, absolutely. So let's go back to restoration before we get to Ashburn, because I love what 118 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:47,640 you did at restoration and all the inclusion you had and just the different people and 119 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:52,080 how you just jumped in were so involved in the community. Like I said, I'd heard about 120 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,920 you for a while. I'm like, who is this Tim Moor guy? And then honestly, my first thought 121 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,640 when you spoke at Bob Simon's Vigil was like, why is he speaking? He doesn't know Reston. 122 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:05,680 He hasn't been here long. But Reston is a very unique community. And what you brought 123 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:10,080 was exactly what Reston needed and what Reston is. I actually had a conversation with somebody 124 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:15,840 the other day from a small North Carolina town. And their idea of Northern Virginia 125 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:23,840 is all super rich people that have everything white, white collar, just, and I was like, 126 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:28,640 really? Like there's Section 8 housing in Reston. He's like, really? Like, that's how 127 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:33,080 I grew up. And I know when I spoke at Bob Simon's Vigil talking about the courage of 128 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:41,520 him starting Reston and having a diverse community, like that's what we knew. And it was unique. 129 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:46,040 And so you were able to, I think, since Reston was a lot older, I mean, it's not really that 130 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:52,760 old anyway, but I think the things you did were really what Simon had a calling for. 131 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,360 And you did get so involved and I saw you doing everything. And I know one of my earlier 132 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:02,200 podcasts we interviewed Adrian Caldwell, who you brought to a Best in Reston event. And 133 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:08,080 he was so moved by the nonprofit Cornerstones, it's active in Reston. So it's the ripple 134 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:14,680 effect of your courage gives us somebody else courage mentoring him. So kind of cool all 135 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:19,280 the things you've been able to do and give people courage to come to church and worship 136 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,760 God wherever they come from. 137 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,520 That's exactly right. You know, Leslie, you talked about getting connected to the Reston 138 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:35,000 community. I'll be honest, I came in, we have a phrase, a theological term, ex nihilo, right, 139 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,880 out of nothing. Right. I walk into this community and to your point, I'm nobody walking into 140 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,600 Reston, right. At the time. 141 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,760 Ironically, Herndon is like next door. 142 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:43,760 Exactly. Right. 143 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:44,760 Five minutes. 144 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:49,680 And we had, my wife and I, for our first house, we had lived in Reston. We actually lived 145 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:55,880 in, we were the caretakers of the old Wheely Mansion, which is on Reston, Old Reston Avenue. 146 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:56,880 Okay. 147 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,520 Which used to be the prison fellowship property and all that. But anyway, so we had lived 148 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:00,520 in Reston. 149 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,800 I think we've talked about that. That's a cool place. 150 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:07,040 It's a really cool place. But anyway, the way I got connected was I would literally 151 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,480 walk in and I would meet with somebody and then I would say, tell me the next person 152 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:16,480 I need to meet with. Right. And it would be, you need to meet with Leslie Kane, right. 153 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:20,080 And Leslie Kane would tell me to go meet with Eve Thompson and Eve Thompson would tell me 154 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,520 to go meet with Andy Siegel, right. And Andy Siegel would tell me to go meet with Melissa 155 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,960 Romano. And it was that over and over and over again. And I had the gift of being in 156 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:33,640 a group that was a group of pastors that regularly met with Bob Simon when he was still alive. 157 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,640 Oh wow. 158 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,760 And he would come in and just share his vision. And you know, he was certainly not a particularly 159 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:43,160 religious person. I don't want to pretend like that and push that on anybody. But he 160 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:49,720 had a passion for that community and a love for Reston and a vision that excited me to 161 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,960 be part of that community. So the way that I got so involved was I just kept, you know, 162 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,480 frankly, sticking my nose in everywhere and saying, you know, how can I be involved in 163 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:02,440 this and how can I be involved this to the point where when Bob Simon died, I got a call 164 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:06,160 from and I think it was Eve Thompson at the time. I'm trying to remember exactly what 165 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,920 it was who said, we want you to do it. And I said, why me? We've only been here like 166 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:13,520 a year and a half. What is this? And they said, because you already know so many people 167 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:17,560 and you're already trusted. And that wasn't a Tim Ward's great thing. That was a, the 168 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,920 rest and community just brought me in so beautifully and so well. 169 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:25,840 When you are pretty great. And I love how I think one of your superpowers is remembering 170 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:31,800 people and knowing people. And just the fact the thing with my niece, I was like, wow, 171 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,640 and how you connected with her and made a difference with her is that she went to your 172 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:40,160 church one time after going to camp. And I think you sent her a thank you note with the 173 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:48,440 Starbucks gift card. I'm like, who does that? You just did that extra, made the connection 174 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,960 and we're very welcome. And we were super duper sad that you left and I miss seeing 175 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:58,480 you. One of the things that I love that we would just have conversations, going for a 176 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:04,080 walk around the lake. And that's just a great way to connect. And I think one thing you 177 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:08,600 shared with me one time we were walking is that you said when you met with people and 178 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:12,440 entered people with church and stuff, going for a walk or something was always a great 179 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:16,920 way for people to have courage to open up. Cause you weren't staring eyeball to eyeball, 180 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:20,960 but next to each other could have a conversation. Yeah, it's so true. And I mean, I've continued 181 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,560 that since I've moved too, because that was a value. I just loved walking around Lake 182 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:31,240 Ann. I thought it's beautiful and I loved seeing people, but I found, you know, I remember 183 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:35,720 when I was a parent of young children and they were talking about having, frankly having 184 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:39,280 the sex talk with your kids and they said, do it when you're driving and the kids in 185 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,720 the back seat and you're upfront, cause you're not looking eye to eye with them. And it gives 186 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,920 the encourage to ask questions. And I think that's the same thing when folks are dealing 187 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:50,880 with challenging things. If you're walking, you're beside someone and you're walking with, 188 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:55,920 you're not looking down on them. You're not, you know, it's a, it's a journey thing, which 189 00:14:55,920 --> 00:15:00,400 I think super cool. Yeah. My sister and other mothers have always told me the best way to 190 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:05,280 find out what's going on with your kids is drive on places. That's exactly right. In 191 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:11,280 the back seat, having these conversations. Yep. That's exactly right. Yes. So obviously 192 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:17,440 it's occurred to me to Ashburn and to a new church and that was established church. Yeah. 193 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,880 So it was like restoration. It was started. It was a started church, but it was started 194 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:27,640 30 years ago. So back when Ashburn was like brand new, right? Even there 30 years ago. 195 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:31,600 I barely, I mean, it really was that the house that we live in, in Ashburn is one of the 196 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:38,960 original homes and it's a 1992 house. So that gives you the context of the time. Yeah. That's 197 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:45,560 crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Ashburn seems like it was just there yesterday at cornfield. So how 198 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:50,760 are things different in Ashburn? Ashburn, if you had to have different courage to navigate 199 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:55,240 that and obviously walking into a church that was established was a different courage for 200 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:59,040 you. Sure. I mean, I followed the pastor who founded the church. There was somebody who 201 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:03,640 was here in between us for a few months as an interim, but I really followed the pastor 202 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:10,400 who was very beloved, a great pastor here at Crossroads. So that in and of itself was 203 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,720 a moment of courage, right? I'm stepping into the church just like, I mean, the person who 204 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:18,240 followed me at restoration, I was only there six years, but he had to follow the person 205 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,600 who founded it, right? Which is hard to get back and that's difficult. And you did a great 206 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,760 job transitioning by the way. And you did exactly what you did. These are the people 207 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:34,800 you need to meet. So I met Daniel and Isaiah and love them. And we were very sad seeing 208 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:39,280 you leave restoration, but they've done a great job. Yeah. And I think that's really 209 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:44,400 important. So I think the biggest difference that I had to figure out in Ashburn versus 210 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:49,800 Reston, Reston has some very natural gathering places, some city centers, right? Like I like 211 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:54,360 to say Lake Anne is a natural gathering place for people. That was intentional. You know 212 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:59,720 that? Absolutely. You have to park your car and drive in. So you have to connect and talk 213 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:04,800 to people. Exactly. And in some ways, a newer, different version of that is the town center, 214 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:09,160 right? Where people come and they connect. And Ashburn doesn't have that, right? We don't 215 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:13,680 have, and we have one, but it's a little bit different. It doesn't feel quite the same. 216 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:19,760 So the courage was to figure out first what the heart of the people of the church were, 217 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:23,440 right? So what's the heart of the people? What do they care about? And when I got here, 218 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:27,000 I was at church, so we care about two really big things. We want to connect with and serve 219 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:31,920 our surrounding community, right? And the second was we really want to know one another 220 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:35,600 because we can't do that work until we build a community and build relationships with one 221 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:41,720 another. So it was figuring out what are the watering holes, the local watering holes of 222 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,840 this community. And what I found is that it's mostly coffee shops, right? So I find myself 223 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:50,400 in a lot of local coffee shops that are around here. I love Blend. Have you been to Blend? 224 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:55,160 I've been to Blend several times, yeah. And SO, which is right here beside us. So I've 225 00:17:55,160 --> 00:18:01,960 been to these places and I think that was the big major difference. We had to look in 226 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:06,520 Reston where our elementary school was, we were right beside Voucher Choice Housing, 227 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:10,600 right? There was deep poverty in that elementary school. People like to say in Loudoun County, 228 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:18,000 there's no poverty and that's simply not true, right? I went and met with the principal of 229 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,320 the middle school where my kids were going to go and after five minutes, we stopped talking 230 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,240 about my kids because I said, look, I'm your pastor. I'm the pastor of the church that's 231 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:29,000 right here beside you and I want to know what are your needs. And she just opened up and 232 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,640 was oozing about the number of families they have in their school that were unhoused in 233 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:38,880 Ashburn, Virginia about how they have cafeteria workers and custodians who based on their 234 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:43,480 salary at the school literally can't make ends meet and how we can be a support to them 235 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:47,480 and an encouragement to them. So part of it was in Reston, some of that stuff sort of 236 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:52,520 more naturally open to have. Which ironically, people don't see that. People think, like 237 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:59,000 I remember I was involved in Leadership Fairfax and we did a project on food insecurity and 238 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,680 I remember mentioning it to somebody and their first responsible, Reston doesn't have food 239 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:07,080 insecurity. Oh my word, so much. And it's kind of like looking at Ashburn, like you would 240 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:12,400 never think Reston did in Ashburn, but it's so true and so prevalent and you just don't 241 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:16,760 know it. Yeah, so it's about asking the questions and that's, I think one of the things that 242 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:23,240 takes courage is to ask people questions, right? Is to say, what do you need? How can 243 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:28,520 we be the church? I just joined another chamber out here because it's out here and it's local 244 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:35,600 and I was meeting with the CSR, the lead of that team, which is the Community Social Responsibility 245 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:41,480 team. And I said, hey, before we get started, I just want to get this out of the way. I'm 246 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,520 not a creepy pastor. I'm not going to try to convert you to anything. Like I'm about 247 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:51,240 serving the community and she was like, oh, thank God, right? Like we can have a normal 248 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,880 conversation. And what was really important about that was I just wanted to ask a lot 249 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,240 of questions. She's like, I want to hear your expertise. And I said, well, you're in this 250 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:02,520 community. I want to connect with you, right? And I want to hear what you know about this 251 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:08,240 community and how I can be a support and an encouragement to it. So I think a lot of it 252 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:13,320 that's been different out here that took courage was asking questions in a different way. I 253 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:17,800 could sit down with the founder of Ashburn that doesn't exist, right? Like I could sit 254 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:23,520 down with the founder of Reston. But the other difference is I came into a church when I 255 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:28,880 started Reston Restoration, there wasn't a bunch of people that knew the community super, 256 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:32,680 super well, right? We came in and we met people that were already there. I came into a church 257 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:37,120 that lives in this community that has hundreds of people that are already deeply involved. 258 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:40,880 So I just wanted to hear the heart and passion of the people. And I had to ask questions 259 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:46,440 for that too. You do an awesome job of that and make me want to be better at asking questions, 260 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:56,560 getting to know people. So let's talk. Okay. What encouragement would you give somebody 261 00:20:56,560 --> 00:21:02,960 to say why not say? You know, I think the biggest thing I would say is I don't want 262 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:08,800 to live a life of regrets. I believe in transformation and I believe transformation happens in me 263 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:14,200 and I believe transformation happens in others. And if I'm always going, well, I'll do that 264 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:20,240 tomorrow, I'm missing out on what could be something really beautiful right now and today. 265 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:24,480 So I would say the biggest thing is you don't want to live life with regrets. Do it today. 266 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:31,200 The worst thing somebody can say is no. Exactly. And I say that often. I remember that's one 267 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:35,760 thing I always tell people like what's the worst thing you can do. And the first memory 268 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,200 of that is your friends is like, do you want to have a sleepover? And they're like, well, 269 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:43,120 I'm afraid to ask my parents. I'm like, why are you afraid? The worst they can say is 270 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:49,160 no. Like, yeah. And so talk about regret. I often mention that in this podcast a lot. 271 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:53,240 One of the books I read right when I started was Daniel Pink's book on regret. Have you 272 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:59,240 read that? No, I haven't. So and he's actually local, by the way, Virginia. And I think lived 273 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:05,200 in Reston, but he has a book on regret. And he wrote it after going to his daughter's 274 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,120 college graduation. And then he's like, how did I get here? I was just graduating from 275 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:13,600 college. And he's like, what are the things I wish I would have done? And he started interviewing 276 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:20,760 people asking about regret and did research and started a book. It's a great book. And 277 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:27,040 it just, you know, that's kind of motivated me with this. Like do the thing. Ask the question. 278 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:31,960 The worst. Yeah. The worst thing somebody can say is no. Yeah. I remember a time I was 279 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:38,000 walking with someone through the end of life experience for them. It was somebody I'd spent 280 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:43,200 quite a bit of time with. She became a dear friend of mine. She was older. And I remember 281 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:47,800 sitting down with her and I was holding her hand on one of the last days of her life. 282 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,320 And I said, is there anything you wish that you'd have done in your life that you didn't 283 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:57,440 do? And she said, I have absolutely no regrets. And I thought that's the way that I want to 284 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:01,440 end my time on this earth. Yeah. Whatever it is, I want to be able to say, you know 285 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:05,400 what? I don't regret it. And the truth is, you know, I could regret the argument that 286 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:10,000 I had with my kids last night, right? I could regret the way I said something or I could 287 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:16,360 work on myself to try to change and do the thing for tomorrow. And if I'm spending my 288 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:21,640 life regretting yesterday, then that stops me from living into today and tomorrow. Yeah. 289 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:26,580 Totally agree. And there's been lots of opportunities. I've had conversations with people recently 290 00:23:26,580 --> 00:23:31,760 about elder care and people getting older. And then on Friday, I went I went to a funeral 291 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:36,920 of a friend of mine from high school that was 55 that had a heart attack. And then Friday 292 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:43,840 evening and Saturday went to a golf tournament with another friend on her son, who four years 293 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:50,400 ago was yesterday actually was killed by he was 22 years old and working as a lineman 294 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:55,960 and killed as by a drunk driver. And both those things and often things like, you know 295 00:23:55,960 --> 00:24:03,320 what? I just want to live my life. Like, I'm sad, but it's made me more convicted to say, 296 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:08,320 okay, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of today and enjoy the life and do the thing and just 297 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:13,040 know God's going to take care of it. Yeah. And I think that, you know, when I do celebration 298 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:17,560 of life services, funerals, I always remind people this is actually not for the person 299 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:23,320 who's who's died. This is for us to try to take the traits of those people, try to make 300 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:28,520 ourselves better today commit to a life of serving others caring for others loving others, 301 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:34,560 right, so that we don't have any regrets. Right. You know that song, three little birds? 302 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:40,920 Yes. So I went to a funeral years ago, a young 20 something year old that was killed in a 303 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:46,080 car accident. And as we left the funeral, they played that song. And it's always stuck 304 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:50,280 with me. And that is actually I think I haven't done it yet. But I think that's gonna be the 305 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:55,280 theme song for this podcast. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, it's just almost bring tears. It's like, 306 00:24:55,280 --> 00:25:00,640 you know, it's just Well, I appreciate all that you said, I've taken notes, and I'm probably 307 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:04,760 gonna have to go back and read transcripts of this one. But I always go back to the connection 308 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,480 to my dad. And you obviously never met my dad, because I think I asked you before you 309 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:14,280 got interested. But so many things you said. So first, you're starting a church in a school. 310 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,520 I don't know if you realize this, but St. Thomas of Beckett, the church that I grew 311 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:22,960 up in started at Lakey at elementary school, and then Isaac Newton Square, and my dad was 312 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:28,200 a part although, you know, not a pastor, but a part of the community. And it was rest in 313 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:33,440 the there was actually an organization of starting the Catholic Church in rest in because 314 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:37,760 we used to go to Herndon, but they were instrumental in starting that. So that's a connection to 315 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:43,280 my dad, all your connections and community and getting to know people and asking questions, 316 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:47,480 I think is so much like my father, I actually have a couple friends of mine that said, you 317 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:54,480 know, they had more conversations with my father than they ever did their own father, 318 00:25:54,480 --> 00:26:00,560 which is sad, but my dad would ask hard questions. And he wasn't afraid to ask you those questions 319 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:06,200 and to get to know you. And I think you're a master at that also. So yeah, you're a younger 320 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:10,920 version of me and my dad. I hear about him all the I feel like I know him because I hear 321 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:16,120 about the time and connections. And I'm just so grateful for his influence, not just on 322 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:21,400 rest in but frankly on the world. Yeah, I think he has done a lot to change and connect 323 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:26,680 and hopefully I will pass on that legacy. So Leslie, how do people get in touch with 324 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:31,240 you, Tim? Where where can they find you? And I will share the show notes too. Yeah, sure. 325 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:36,240 I'm currently the pastor at Crossroads, UMC and Ashburn, which is a beautiful, amazing 326 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:40,320 community of unlimited welcome, where it doesn't matter what your story is, what your history 327 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:44,720 is, what your background is, we'd love to meet you and connect with you. You can reach 328 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:49,960 me go to our website, Crossroadsnova.org. You'll see me there. My email address is on there 329 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:54,280 too. And I would love to take you for a cup of coffee and hear your story and connect 330 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:59,600 with you. Well, thank you again for sharing with us about what courage means to you. You 331 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:05,040 can find the Why Not Today podcast on Spotify, iTunes, I think we're on Google, all those 332 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:09,720 places. We are working on the website. We do have fun Why Not Today gear. We have t shirts 333 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:14,640 and cups and vinyls to share the message to say why not today. So thanks again for listening. 334 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:21,200 Thanks, Tim, for being here. And we will be here again in two weeks. Awesome. Thanks, 335 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:48,000 Tim. Thank you.