Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast where we celebrate Kura's determination and the
power of saying, Why Not Today?
I'm your host, Leslie Cain, and in each episode we dive into inspiring stories of individuals
who have taken bold steps, face their fears, and embrace the possibility of today.
From entrepreneurs to artists, dreamers to doers, we explore the moments when somebody
said enough waiting, Why Not Today?
Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, the audacious, and the transformative, whether
it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles, or simply choosing joy.
Our guests share their journeys and inspire us all.
I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often said, Why Not Today?
And remember, you're just one decision away from changing your life.
And I'm excited.
My guest is Freddie Donner, who is somebody I've known for years and connected through
networking, through my dad.
We kind of crisscrossed, ran into you at a party the other day within, you know, we're
get it done kind of gals.
We had a, by the next night we had an appointment to meet for coffee, met last week.
And then it's such a great conversation about courage.
Why Not Today?
And then the one word.
So I reached out to you and we're recording this right before Christmas and life is lots
going on, but we're squeezing this in because I feel like it's so important as people start
the new year and a year to have some clarity.
So yeah, we're connected in lots of different ways, even lived on the same street for a while.
So yeah, crisscrossing, you know, it's those people in your life that just keep popping
in and out.
And you know, it might not be consistent, but it's meant to be.
So Freddie Donner, introduce yourself a little bit in a fun fact.
Okay, well, again, thanks Leslie.
It's always a joy to be in your presence and on your show and with you on your journey.
So first of all, the name Freddie came from my great uncle Fred that my mother was very
close to and since she didn't have any boys, she named her daughter, Fredrica, but decided
to call me Freddie.
Everybody asked me that question.
You know, I was going to ask where they come from.
I love it.
Yeah, so as a child, it was brutal.
I was a little girl being the only girl called Freddie in my world.
But as an adult, it became quite valuable because everybody remembered my name.
And then as I got older, it was even harder because then I couldn't remember their name.
But anyway, I think just being called Freddie, it was part of formed me as the character
that I am as a girl with a boy's name.
And I have been married for over 40 years now and I have three sons and I have four
grandchildren.
Two of my three sons are married and and we're all very close, which I'm incredibly grateful
for.
That's awesome.
The fun fact is I am now in business with my husband as a Christmas tree farm company.
Love that.
That's a fun thing.
He started it seven years ago and lo and behold, never did I realize exactly the impact that
was going to have on us and this business and that I was going to be part of that business.
So we opened this year for our first time in Firstville, Virginia.
So next year, think about Donner Farms.
Yes.
So let me ask you this.
You never thought it'd be a part of your life.
Was there a why not say moment when he said, I want to do this or you decide to dive in
or do you remember where you were, what you're doing when this happened?
Yeah, well, it was really his decision because we bought the farm to because he grew up on
a farm.
He wanted a farm.
He had a lot of tractors and so we ended up buying a 15 acre parcel of property that had
a big barn on it.
No house, just barn and lots of cleared land.
And then he met with the Fairfax County or excuse me, Loudoun County EDA wanted to put
it in farm status and they recommended Christmas trees.
So here we are seven years later.
And so he said, why not?
And off he went into the Christmas tree business not having had any experience in that.
And so then we got to the point where there was more labor needed.
And I said, well, I can come out and help you mow.
And so when you mow, you're driving a zero turn mower, which is quite a big machine.
And that was another why not learn how to do this kind of a thing.
I was like, you know, I'm sure it just takes a little lesson, which I got.
Yeah.
And we can do anything if we learn.
Yeah.
So fun.
Well, I can't wait to come check it out next year.
I did go the route.
I never thought I'd ever do this that I have a artificial tree.
Yeah.
I never thought I'd do it, but you know what?
It is so much easier.
And I think I found I was allergic to the needles that a real tree, my hands would itch
and I'd be all congested over the holiday.
Yeah.
So like one of my sisters I was talking to about the other day, she goes, I will never
do that.
Well, she's 16 years younger than me.
I'm like, just let's talk in 16 years.
So I can't wait to check it out.
So what does courage mean to you, Freddie?
Courage means doing it scared.
Whatever it is that you want to try or do, even if you're scared to go ahead and do it,
like learning to drive a zero turn mower.
One year I decided I wanted to take singing lessons.
And so I took voice lessons and the requirement was that if you take voice lessons from that
particular teacher, you had to do a recital, which meant that I had to get up and sing in
front of a small group of people.
Oh, wow.
And to make it even worse, she taught me how to sing Phantom of the Opera.
Oh my goodness.
And when she told me I'm going to teach you how to sing this, I said, you're out of your
mind.
There's no way I can do that.
And she said, yes, you can.
And you will.
And I did.
And I was shaking the entire time, but I did it anyway.
How'd you feel when you're done?
Amazing.
Pretty fabulous.
Yeah.
I mean, I learned so much about myself just by saying yes.
And why not today?
And I think we all need to push ourselves to do those little things and do them scared.
And I always tell people, like when you have that thing that's scary or you don't want
to do, or even if you do it all the time, like just like working out, you know, you
don't want to do it.
Like walking this morning and it's, I don't know how cold it was.
Yeah, it's in the team.
You dress it up and you go and you're like, I can always turn around.
But once you start, you feel great.
And I always tell people, like when you put your head on the pillow at night, when you've
done that scary thing, how are you going to feel?
Yeah.
It's amazing.
And if you didn't, you think about it all, slip and day, long, week, month.
I mean, how many things do we have on our to-do list that we put off forever?
We think and put so much more effort into thinking about it.
And when you do it, it's like takes no time.
I'm like, okay, that was silly.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So I know you've had an interesting career and coaching and I'm not even sure the beginning
of it.
Yeah.
But, and as I said, we were talking the other day and we were talking about the one word
which I'm very passionate about.
And I loved your pivot from last year to this year and how you're changing.
So I'm going to let you take it from here.
Like, do you have some why not say moments, some courage in your journey that could encourage
people and then let's talk about your one word.
Okay.
And evolved in your whole picture.
Well, I think probably a pivotal moment was in 1993 for me when I actually got fired from
my job.
And they said, you're just not being a team player.
The reality was they, they, the organization was in a little bit of a transition and they
didn't know what to do with me.
I was really employable, I found.
Yeah.
So, so I, I took some time to think about what I could do.
And I said, well, I could go get another job because my career at the time was marketing
and business development.
My first career was commercial interior design.
So marketing and business development in the commercial real estate industry.
And I got that why not today kind of thought like, why don't I just try my own business?
And I started marketing 101 and ran that for 20 years.
Oh, wow.
Before I went back into corporate for a couple of years, and then I had another wall and
I hired a coach.
And I found out that's what I wanted to do was to be a coach.
And so I began my coaching practice in 2001 by calling up a former client and just said,
I am now coach.
I'd like to come talk to you about what I can do for you.
Oh, wow.
And so again, another moment of courage.
Why not if you don't ask, you might not receive.
So that's how I started my coaching practice.
That's encouraging.
Yeah.
And I've learned a lot.
I've failed a lot, but I've also grown a lot.
And I do my best to help young coaches get started because it is kind of a scary journey,
especially if you don't come from a BD background.
But last year, last year, I had a great year in coaching and in my coaching practice, which
is also part of my ministry.
And my word of the year last year was at ease, the symbol with ease after it, because the
year started out very slowly and I was just praying about it and going, okay, Lord, so
you want me to kind of just take a rest this year.
And so I didn't have a high volume of work, but I had high quality work.
And it was new for me to not be busy all the time.
And so I embraced it and I learned to just relax and enjoy this free space between coaching
assignments.
And then I started pondering 2025 and I took myself to the library for a day to think.
That's all I wanted to do was to think.
Wow.
I didn't want to be doing anything or filling out forms or writing a to-do list.
I just wanted to stop and think.
And what came to me for my word of the year for 2025 is imagine.
Imagine all of the lives that you could touch by being highly more visible and more deliberate
about your coaching and what you have to offer.
And the impact that you can have on homes, because a lot of my clients, when they learn
about who they are and how they are, they can also change who they are and how they
are at home.
And that can really make more lives peaceful at home.
So true.
And I love that word.
And I love how you came about it.
So let's kind of back up a little bit.
First I want to talk about the ministry you've done.
So you've done some networking around your faith before.
And I think that's so powerful.
So talk about that and what you've done.
Yeah.
I used to run CEO roundtables for Christian business owners where it was a peer setting
where other business owners who were also believers came together to solve business problems
based on biblical principles.
We would do lessons from the Bible and then say, how are we applying that to our business?
I did that for over 10 years.
And then it just felt like God was calling me to stop.
And so I dissolved that.
But still stay in touch with that community.
It's actually the faith at work community is large in Northern Virginia and getting
larger.
And it's designed to get people to understand that prayer and work go together.
Work is a form of worship.
And when you know that your work is aligned with your faith, it feels amazing to be able
to get up every day and do what you want to do and what you know God wants you to do.
Yeah.
I think we talked about this the other day is with my 30 years with Mary Kay.
Mary Kay's mission and philosophy was God first, family, second and career third.
So I grew up around that.
And from working in corporate before to working in that environment was such a difference.
Yeah.
Having that alignment is so important.
Yeah.
I can't wait to pursue some of these other things you recommended.
And how do you connect with Casey Beach, who is a good friend of mine, did you through
the commercial real estate or through the faith component?
Yeah.
So Casey and I met at the commercial real estate days.
And then when, when I started the Christian business roundtable, he, because he's so well
known, I connected with him only to find out, which I didn't realize at the time, just how
involved he is with this faith at work community.
Yeah.
And so then he put me in touch with a few other people that again, you know, I, we, when,
when you're going into a new adventure, you want to surround yourself with people that
see what you see, believe what you believe and want to be on that journey with you.
And Casey's one of those guys, you know.
And so is a lot.
So are a lot of people like you that are in his world.
Yeah.
You know how I know middle school, middle school.
Oh my gosh.
We went to hermit intermediate together and I went, we started high school the year South
Lakes opened and those listening somewhere totally different.
We'd lived in the same town and they finally opened a high school in our town and there
was enough room.
Everybody on the lake and side of rest and went to hermit and everybody on the other
side and yes, there is a difference which side you live in rest.
Yeah, that's right.
And debate.
But yeah, so they split us up and but you know, we just kept in contact and his dad
and my dad were good friends and see the evolution.
So I ran into you at their holiday party and I talked to somebody else is more a little
older and more friends with my dad and Mr. Beach and said, yeah, the party's kind of
become more Casey's thing.
It's kind of a fun thing.
But yeah, it's interesting to just see how our world's kind of crisscross.
Yeah.
And I mentioned this in a podcast many times that somebody shared with me when you see
all those Godwinks and those crazy coincidences happen.
It's really it's when you're living your life in alignment with your values and what
you should be doing.
Yeah.
And you're they're happening all around, but you're just not aware of it.
So you need to keep your eyes open and be aware.
I love your evolution of the word.
So how did you learn about the one word or how long have you been doing it?
Because I know I've been doing it for a long time and explain a little bit in your words,
what it is and how it relates and how it's right.
Well, one of my previous roundtable members gave everybody in the roundtable this little
tiny red book called the one word.
Yeah.
And that was probably eight years ago.
And I've been doing it every year.
And I do value that exercise again to stop and take your thoughts captive and think about
what you're thinking about and think about what is the theme or the thread that you want
to pull through the entire year for you wherever you are on your journey.
If you're dealing with a health issue, the focus might be all on healing and getting
stronger.
If you're dealing with a relationship issue, it might be forgiveness.
It could be anything.
But when we make a decision about what our theme is, you'll see it.
You'll see it more often.
Just like if you bought a new car, you'll all of a sudden see that car all over the road.
But you didn't see it before.
Our reticular activating system.
That's right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And I know in the book it talks about look in.
So pray, think about it.
Yeah.
Look up, pray about it and then look out and see where you see it.
Yeah.
And I was, when we were together the other day, I told you what my one word was and you suggested
another one and I'm looking at it and I'm seeing it more and I'm like, maybe that's
the word.
And I was telling that to a friend of mine and she's like, you always change yours at
least four times.
I'm like, yeah, because you've got to have the word that's right for you.
Yeah.
And it totally unfolds differently.
Like the words can have many definitions.
Yeah.
And you start one way like 2020, my word was connect and one of my good friends word was
gather.
Oh, nice.
You know what happened in 2020.
So we had to learn how to connect and gather in totally different ways.
Wow.
Yeah.
Like how we started the year envisioning it definitely was different.
Yeah.
And I really love the way you summarize the word that it starts within and don't rush
the process.
Give it some thought, give it a day, a week, a month.
There's no hurry.
But when you get it, you'll know that it's the word for the year.
It just feels like it fits you like a great piece of clothing.
And then you see it everywhere.
Yeah.
So I have done a lot with the one word and we do a painting event every year painting
our one word.
Oh, really?
In front of us.
And I did two years ago, I did an episode just talking about the one word and beginning
of December because you got to start thinking about it.
Now some people may not get their word till later in January or you could change it middle
year.
But if you start in the beginning of a year, you got to start thinking about it in the
beginning of December, like thinking about it as soon as you can.
Last year I had two people talking about their one word on the podcast that do one.
She owns a gym and she teaches about intentions in your word and she actually you can get,
she does a one word event, intention event and you get a bracelet with the word on it.
Oh, nice.
That's a great tool.
And she said this person in front of my list, she did it and she said her word a couple
of years ago was present.
And so she looked at it and like when she was with somebody to be present with them.
Yeah.
Just sit down and.
And that takes some discipline.
It's a choice every time you get in front of someone as to how present you can be, but
it's a choice every single day, like what you're thinking, what you're eating, how you're
moving and for, I just want to encourage anybody who's listening to this, don't think you don't
have time to do this.
When you make the time to do this, you'll realize how much time you have to focus on
it.
Yeah.
And what do they say that one hour planning is worth so many hours of work.
Yeah, exactly.
I figure out where your track is going to be.
And I'm one of these people that like the FOMO and me, so I heard your word.
I'm like, Oh, I really like that.
No, I don't think that's mine.
I don't think that's worth sitting because I don't probably don't need to imagine anymore.
They are.
I was watching last night.
This is one of my favorite shows of the year, the Kennedy Center Honors.
Do you ever watch?
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
And they had it and I don't remember what artists they were doing talking about, but
talked about the possibilities and imagined.
The impossible dream that song.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
And that was my favorite song.
It's like, you know, anything is possible.
I think that's part of the why not say message.
Like we need to think bigger and believe better, bigger and trust.
And if it's something that you're thinking about is keeping you up at night, you just
can't let it go.
Or someone says to you, Oh my gosh, you'd be so good at that.
Or you do, you do such a good job.
Or how do you do that?
You're like, What do you mean?
It's so easy.
And then that's a hint like you need to do something.
Live your life for not promise tomorrow.
We got to enjoy it.
That's right.
And your father was such a great example of that.
And that's my next question.
Let's talk about my dad.
How did you know him?
What was connection?
Do you remember your first encounter with Patrick Kane, which he was memorable?
Yeah.
So I think we met at Reston Chamber of Commerce and somehow we ended up sitting next to each
other at one of the outskirt tables, like, you know, not in the center of the room, but
on the edge of the room.
And it was some awards dinner.
And I somehow got, I somehow won something.
And so I walked up and got it and came back and we started a conversation.
And at the time he was wheelchair bound.
So it was after a stroke.
Yeah.
So he needed help moving around.
And I was like, well, who do you want to see?
I'll take you around and, you know, help you get around the room.
And then somehow we, we struck up a friendship and I used to stop by and sit with him at
his office and listen to him about how he imagined Reston.
And it was so fun to be in his presence and hear his side of the story as a planner, as
an urban planner, what he saw, what he realized and what else he thought was possible.
And it was just so joyful to be able to have that precious time with him.
And I think maybe we probably had five or 10 visits before he passed, but it was, it
was such a fun time just to be in his presence.
He definitely made people sing.
And the kid growing up, I did not appreciate it.
And I'm looking back, I definitely do in some of the conversations I've had with people
since he's passed away.
That he did, he made you think, he asked you questions.
Yeah.
He made you imagine and think bigger.
And it's often, you know, living in Reston, which I've been here since I was two.
And Reston, I think is a year older than me.
People are always asking me like, what do you think of it change is so much so different?
Like, you know, my dad was a planner and that was part of the plan.
And it grew up around me and grew up with me.
Yeah.
So, and it's kind of a funny story is after he had a stroke, he was pretty much unconscious
for months and in the hospital.
And he would talk about the Metro coming to Reston and how there'd be commercial and
retail all combined and residential.
And they're like, oh yeah, he's still not here.
And like, no, you know, when worked with downtown Herndon and things that he talked about 30
years ago are happening now.
Right.
It's really incredible.
Yeah.
He gives me chills just thinking about it.
Not bigger.
And his imagination was unbelievable.
So I definitely got some of that.
Yeah.
And I was going to say other ways to connect things that you said, obviously knew my dad.
But I think I mentioned the other day that he had a cousin at Christmas tree farm in Seattle
and he'd go help work the Christmas tree farm at Christmas and literally brought trees home
on an airplane.
It's crazy.
I can't imagine.
And then as kids, my parents bought property with other people off Route seven.
There was a street going towards Lee's bestirling area.
Utica, I think street or something.
I don't remember the act, but we had a tree farm there and it was just and and we'd go
cut wood for our fireplace.
Yeah.
And then talking about one of the things he always said is asked, you know, you never
know what somebody's going to say.
But if you don't ask, the answer is no.
Well, I always say that if you really want to become memorable, you have to be interesting
and interested in the people in front of you.
Yep.
And, you know, there's so many topics we can talk about other than what's popular on
Netflix or, you know, what the weather is like.
I mean, the weather.
Okay.
Let's talk about it for three minutes and then move on.
Because there's so many other topics.
Were you standing me at, were you with me at the party when that gentleman walked up?
I think you were because he thought you were married.
Somebody thought you were married to him.
He was standing there and he asked, he introduced himself like, what do you do for fun?
Was a great question.
That's a great question.
Yeah.
I don't know if you heard the rest of that story.
The reason he asked that is he said a couple of years ago, he was an ICU and didn't think
he was going to live and he had to call his daughters to say goodbye.
Wow.
And realize how precious life was.
And so ask him, what you do.
Which, you know, being in the Northern Virginia area, that's everybody asked that question.
And the, the quest, the answer when people are like, how are you, everybody usually answers,
well they used to answer busy.
Yes.
Now I think it's more overwhelmed.
Yeah.
And so how can we take time?
Like I love how I'm to the library for the day.
Yeah.
For me sometimes it's getting in a car.
Mm hmm.
And just by myself getting in the car, even listening to stuff for podcasts or even music,
but my brain starts to move.
Yeah.
And just, well, I do, I do know we have access to be pumping information into our brain all
day long.
Yeah.
And I think overwhelm is caused by feeling like you have to absorb it all.
And we get clear on what it is our purposes in life, we can begin to make choices about
what doesn't fit.
What and, and not to say that, I mean, I've been volunteering my entire career, but I'm
taking a volunteer diet because I want to focus on my coaching practice.
And then, you know, what's appropriate for the farm and what, what, what's possible there.
Which means that my volunteer hours need to be just set aside for this season of life.
And I'll get back to it, but we have to make choices.
You never know where you're volunteering as you're working.
Yes.
Right.
You know, and what is volunteering but helping other people and giving back.
Yeah.
We can help other people and give back by doing what we do every day.
And you know, yeah, I always wear a starfish necklace often.
And did we talk about the starfish story?
No, we didn't.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, we did.
Yes.
Yeah.
So, you know, you never know who that one person you're going to make a difference.
He's watching you.
You have no idea who's paying attention, especially with social media.
And the one thing that I will continue to volunteer is, is helping young professional women who
need a mentor.
There's not, I didn't have one when I was in commercial real estate.
I was like flying solo.
There weren't many women.
I didn't have really anybody to help set the guiding path for me.
So I want to be that for others.
Yeah.
And I think we need that.
I think owning a business and figuring out what you're doing.
It's lonely.
Yeah.
I mentioned I had coffee with somebody the other day that started franchising.
She was almost in tears.
Yeah.
And said how lonely, nobody ever told her how lonely it was.
And she was going to be in an event with me the other day and couldn't come because somebody
called in six.
So she had to cover and she said, I texted her to say, are you okay?
And she said she was just pretty much having a meltdown.
I'm like, do you need anything?
And I ran into her again the other day and she was telling another friend that story.
She goes, Leslie cares.
I'm like, yes, I care.
Yeah.
And we need to be in community with each other to help each other on those spots, even
if it's just a five minute conversation, right?
It can really lift you out of the delt rooms.
Yeah.
And then going back to that ask, like if you need help with something ask, reach out.
And again, they could say no, but what if they said yes?
So what is that one thing that will inspire you?
And that goes back to your word courage Leslie, because sometimes we're not courageous enough
to ask for what we need.
And so, yeah, just get the courage to ask everybody about what it is, who do you know,
who do you know, like how can, how can, how can we be connectors for each other?
Right.
Exactly.
Ask who you're looking for.
And the one person I would love to interview in my podcast, and I've mentioned many times
is Daniel Pink.
Oh, yes.
I love his stuff.
Yeah.
He started a book called about regrets, or he wrote a book about the time I started
the podcast or I read it.
And he started an initiative with the Washington Post called why not?
I don't know if you've seen that.
Oh, no, I haven't.
A lot of people are like, you need to reach out to him.
So I did the other day, I sent him an email and didn't hear back, but I'm going to keep
asking.
Well, ironically enough, when he wrote his first book drive, I got to be on a call with
him and I got to talk to him about the educational system and how it has not redesigned to model
what he's talking about.
Well, one of his first question for why not was why not pay teachers $100,000 a year?
Yeah, that's a great question.
Really?
Wouldn't that, wouldn't that transform the educational system?
Yeah.
I think so.
All right, we can talk forever, but how would you inspire somebody else, whether to say
why not today or for their work, finding their word or just to be creative?
Well, I would say, think about what you think about.
Notice what you think about.
Man, take your thoughts captive.
If your thoughts are motivating you, inspiring you, or if they come to life, then, and you
like it, keep it.
But if your thoughts and your words come to life and it's not in service to the people
that you love, throw it away.
Get rid of it.
Replace it with something else.
Take your thoughts captive because what we think about, we create.
Oh, true.
Amen.
So, so many good tidbits.
So thank you.
And I will share all your contact information in the show notes.
And as people are listening to this, share your one word.
What do you do with it?
How has it evolved?
And then, or if you had a word last year, how, how did that change your life?
And obviously this could, somebody could be listening this 30 years from now.
Who knows?
But hopefully we'll make a difference.
So thank you, Freddie, for your insight and your stories.
And I can't wait to, I can't wait to imagine what happens in the new year for you.
Well, thanks for letting me be on your show, Leslie.
I'm wishing you the best luck.
Yeah, thank you.
And thank you, everybody, for joining us on this inspiring journey.
Where every day is an opportunity to take action, chase your dreams and make a difference.
So why not today?
You can subscribe, share and keep pushing forward.
Share more information about this podcast.
You can find everything you want about Why Not Today at the whynottaypodcast.com, wherever
you want to see or watch your favorite podcasts.
And we're actually on YouTube as well.
And I really want to spread the Why Not Today message with Why Not Today merch.
So we've got T-shirts and cups.
And let's share that message and encourage other people to be courageous.
So thanks again, Freddie.
Okay.
Why Not Today?
I just need to figure out how to turn this recording off.
Hi, everybody.