1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,520 Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast. 2 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:08,920 We celebrate courage, determination, and the power of saying, why not today? 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:14,160 I'm your host, Leslie Kane, and each episode we dive into inspiring stories of individuals 4 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:18,680 who have taken bold steps, faced their fears, and embraced the possibility of today. 5 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:23,080 From entrepreneurs to artists, dreamers to doers, we explore the moments when they said, 6 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,760 enough waiting, why not today? 7 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,520 Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, the audacious, and the transformative, whether 8 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:33,920 it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles, or simply choosing joy. 9 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,400 Our guests share their journeys and inspire us all. 10 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:41,000 I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Kane, who often said, why not today? 11 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:45,000 And remember, you're just one decision away from changing your life. 12 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,760 And my guest today, which I didn't realize when I met her, is kind of a rock star and 13 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,520 done all kinds of cool stuff. 14 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:58,580 But she was, it is Sam Horn, and she was on the, at an event I went to about a month ago. 15 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,520 She was a keynote speaker. 16 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,040 And from the minute you opened up your mouth, Sam started talking, like, she's my people, 17 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,040 I need to know her. 18 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,960 So as you started, and I don't know if you said something before this, but the first 19 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:12,880 thing I heard was, I used to live in Reston and walked around Lake Anne every day. 20 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,960 And I'm like, oh my gosh, she's my person. 21 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,120 I do that every day. 22 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:19,400 How we'd never crossed paths before, I have no idea. 23 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:23,520 And then gotten to know you a little bit more and all the connections. 24 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:27,840 And it's just so much fun to see how we're so connected. 25 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:32,400 And I wish you still lived locally, but we're going to connect and get together and virtual 26 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,400 still works. 27 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:39,120 And so, and your love of water and your trip, I mean, just so many connections, like so 28 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,120 many cool things. 29 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,960 So I'm excited to have you here. 30 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:46,880 And so Sam, why don't you introduce yourself and a little bit about you and a fun fact, 31 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,880 and then we'll get into your curse journey. 32 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,400 Okay, how about a two minute backstory and a fun fact. 33 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:58,240 So I grew up on a horse in Southern California and a reporter asked me a couple of years 34 00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,800 ago where I got my confidence. 35 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:04,600 Well, I got it on the back of a horse because even when I was eight, my sister was nine, 36 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,880 we'd be gone all day on our horses and our parents didn't warn us. 37 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,960 They didn't say, be careful. 38 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,960 They figured that if we got bucked off, we'd figure it out. 39 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,960 Bridal breaks, figure it out. 40 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:22,240 And so both my sister and I see the world as an adventurous place, not a dangerous place. 41 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,680 And that's where we got our courage from. 42 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,920 And I have the pleasure of having a trifecta business. 43 00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:29,920 I coach, I write, I speak. 44 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:35,040 When I coach, I work with clients like Sherry Salata, who is Oprah's executive producer, 45 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:39,680 Terry Jones, founder of Travelocity, Larry Lynch, director of Disney Institute. 46 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,980 I help them figure out their next. 47 00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:45,280 When I write, it's books like Tongue Food that have been selling around the world for 48 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:50,400 more than 20 years and Pop, which Seth Godin gave a cover endorsement to. 49 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,960 The latest one is Talking on Eggshells. 50 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:59,760 And then when I write and I've talked about speaking and coaching, and when I speak, it's 51 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:07,120 for clients like NASA and Richard Branson's New Now Leaders and Ted Fellows and Accenture and Oracle. 52 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:13,520 A fun fact about me is that what do you think we did, Leslie, when my sister and I had our 53 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,440 4-H sheep in showmanship at the Santa Maria County Fair? 54 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,400 How did we keep them quiet in those showmanship classes? 55 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:21,840 No idea. 56 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:23,440 We gave them gum. 57 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,360 Oh, okay. 58 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,000 That's a fun fact. 59 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,440 They are working on their gum. 60 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,640 That is so much fun. 61 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:36,320 So, well, as I said, I didn't know how much of a rock star you were. 62 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:40,160 And as my dad always taught me, ask, the worst thing people can say is no. 63 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:44,480 And so I'm so grateful that you said yes and then joining us here today. 64 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,880 And it sounds like you've done some really cool things. 65 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:50,080 And connected to a lot of amazing people. 66 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,320 So I always, or let's start with what does courage mean to you? 67 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,240 What is your definition of courage? 68 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,760 You know, courage to me is acting with agency. 69 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,360 In fact, that's the book I'm working on right now about agency. 70 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:12,160 And I think agency is taking the initiative to improve what happens to us, by us, and around us. 71 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,000 And notice the verb isn't control. 72 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,360 We cannot control what happens to us, around us. 73 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,040 We can improve it. 74 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,720 Therein lies our courage. 75 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,880 Therein lies our agency. 76 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,880 And therein lies our destiny. 77 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:26,400 So true. 78 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,360 Yeah, and I can't wait to see this new book. 79 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:36,000 So I have been reading the Take, Get People's Attention book. 80 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,000 I've got your attention here. 81 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:38,720 Yep. 82 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,960 I listened to it while walking around the lake. 83 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:47,200 And I can say I love listening to you speak that you're just so intentional and soft. 84 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,280 And I can tell you exactly where I was in a lot of places around the lake. 85 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:55,280 When I was listening to your book, I haven't started reading it because I want to be able 86 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:58,480 to spend time to put some things in practice. 87 00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,680 But so much great wisdom. 88 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,880 And it sounds like you've had a journey. 89 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:10,320 You know, in fact, since your podcast is about Don't Wait, Why Not Today, 90 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,280 you know, you're right. 91 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:15,280 Well, we'll talk about the someday is not a day in the weekbook because both of us really 92 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,880 share this philosophy. 93 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:21,840 In fact, Renee Ricard said, tomorrow is another day. 94 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:23,840 But so was yesterday. 95 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:26,720 And we both agree. 96 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:32,400 And John Legend said, the future is already here and we are already late. 97 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,440 And that's why we choose to initiate instead of wait. 98 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,440 Yeah, someday. 99 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,480 I mean, we got we have to do it now and not wait. 100 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,800 Yeah, it's funny when my dad, he has passed away. 101 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,600 But when he was alive, people ask him, how are you? 102 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,200 And he's like, I'm on this side of the grass. 103 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,400 You know, I'm alive today. 104 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,200 And I think we need to take it one day at a time. 105 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,240 And it's interesting. 106 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,960 You shared at your keynote about some day. 107 00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:01,920 And I'd love for you to share your story about when you're in California. 108 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,400 And but then it was interesting. 109 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:11,520 You shared the story about being in California, talking to your son and decided to take some time and enjoy life. 110 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:12,640 And so you shared it then. 111 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,640 I heard it on a pod or on your book that I was listening to. 112 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:22,800 And then I was just randomly grabbed a book that I've read before and picked up to read again the other day. 113 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,640 And I'm just in bed reading the book. 114 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,760 And I'm like, oh, my gosh, there's like two pages on Sam Horne. 115 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:28,800 I know her now. 116 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,880 So it was just a cool coincidence. 117 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:40,080 So in your journey, writing books and all the amazing things you've done, were there pivotal why not today moments? 118 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:45,200 As I said, you remember exactly where you were, what you're doing that totally changed the trajectory of your life. 119 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,920 What a wonderful question, Leslie. 120 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:58,720 And I'll always be grateful to my dad because when I was about to go to college, all my teachers were saying, Sam, you've got to be a lawyer or a doctor to use your brain. 121 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:05,040 Well, I'd grown up as an athlete, played a lot of tennis, and I wanted to study recreation administration. 122 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:11,280 And a career counselor told me that was a joke, a slacker career, and that I should be more rigorous. 123 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:18,480 Well, my dad gave me Gerta's quote, W.H. Murray's quote, about boldness has genius in it. 124 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:25,520 And that when we are vacillating, that the universe cannot help us. 125 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:33,440 And that as soon as we make a decision, providence then comes in and creates things that are better than we could imagine. 126 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:41,200 And he said, Sam, whenever you're at a crossroads and you can't decide what to do, pick the bolder of the options. 127 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:49,200 So, Leslie, I went with my gut and my heart and I went for what I wanted, what lit me up. 128 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,720 And my whole life has unfolded from that decision. 129 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:58,800 After college, the week after college, I was recruited to Sea Pines Plantation back on Hilton Head Island. 130 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,800 I ended up working with Rod Laver. 131 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:09,520 I was recruited by World Championship Tennis to come up to McLean, Virginia, open up the Regency Racquet Club, the first country club for racquet sports. 132 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,160 Got to play tennis at the White House and so forth. 133 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:16,720 And my whole life can be traced back to that pivotal decision. 134 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:26,320 Instead of doing what I was being told to do, what I ought to do, what I should do, know what lights me up, what's aligned with what I want. 135 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:33,840 And as you say, the rest is history and I'm very grateful for picking the bolder of the options. 136 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,520 What great advice. 137 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:40,160 And, you know, yeah, we need to do the things and not listen to all the voices. 138 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,600 I was just at a meeting earlier and somebody said she wanted to be in the Peace Corps. 139 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:48,000 Her mom told her no, she couldn't and told her all the reasons why and she didn't. 140 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:51,360 Oh, yeah. 141 00:08:51,360 --> 00:09:04,080 You know, as you know, in the Sunday book, I talk about those regrets is that when we do not listen to that inner voice, it's trying to help us out. 142 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:08,560 You know, our instincts have our best interest at heart. 143 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:13,520 And, you know, the old parable about the boats and the helicopters, you know, the one I'm talking about. 144 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,800 It's in case people haven't heard it 60 seconds. 145 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:25,440 It's like there's a flood and the water is rising and a man climbs up on his roof and he prays to God to come help save him. 146 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:31,760 And the helicopter comes and puts down a rope ladder and, you know, and he says, oh, no, no, no, God's coming to save me. 147 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,200 And here comes a boat. Get in. 148 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,120 No, no, no, no. God's coming to save me. 149 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,520 And he drowns and he gets to heaven. 150 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:38,400 He's so upset. 151 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,680 He says, God, I pleaded, I begged him for you to come save me. 152 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,760 And God says, I sent you a helicopter. 153 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,360 I sent your boat. 154 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:55,040 So if we pay attention, our instincts will alert us to something that resonates, something that's congruent, something that calls us. 155 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,960 It's a boat and a helicopter. 156 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:01,440 And if we act on it, I think we meet our best future halfway. 157 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,400 Oh, absolutely. 158 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:10,560 And I always try to coach people and encourage people like that thing that wakes you up at the night, that thing you just can't let go of. 159 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,320 Like you just why not today? 160 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:18,160 Just act and take that one step because we don't know what what's going to happen. 161 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,800 And I love talking about regret. 162 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:26,400 And I know you think Daniel Pink had endorsed your book or there's some connection. 163 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:32,800 That's my super duper star that if you have any introductions, I would love to have on my podcast. 164 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:39,040 When I started the podcast, his book had just come out on regrets. 165 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:44,480 And I have quoted that many times like we never regret what we did. 166 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,560 We regret what we didn't do. 167 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,720 And then he actually started a movement. 168 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,960 I don't know if you've seen this with he did. 169 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:55,760 He's doing something in conjunction with the Washington Post called Why Not. 170 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:56,960 Wow. 171 00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:02,000 And asking big questions like why not pay teachers over one hundred thousand dollars? 172 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:06,720 Why not get rid of left turns like big questions he's asking. 173 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:11,280 So when he announced that in the last year, people like, all right, that's the person you need to talk to. 174 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,560 Like, yes, it is. 175 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:16,320 So let's get back to you, though. 176 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,600 So your someday story. 177 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:18,800 And I love the story. 178 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,040 And I can almost quote it verbatim. 179 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:28,960 But talk about your the pivotal why not a moment in California with your conversation with your son. 180 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,960 You know, thank you for asking, Leslie. 181 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,280 And I thank my son many times for this. 182 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:38,240 So I just finished a very intense two day consult in Southern California. 183 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,360 And I'm sitting in my rental car and the phone rings. 184 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,480 It's Andrew. 185 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,200 And he sensed something in my voice. 186 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,960 And he said, what's up, Mom? 187 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,800 I said, Andrew, I'm so exhausted. 188 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,480 I don't know how I'm going to get on that plane. 189 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,680 I fly back to D.C. 190 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:55,440 Then I fly back to San Francisco in a couple of days for a keynote. 191 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,120 And he paused for a moment. 192 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:01,360 And then he said, you know, there's something about you I don't understand. 193 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,440 He said, you have your own business. 194 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,120 You can do anything you want. 195 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:09,120 And you're not taking advantage of it out of the mouths of 20 somethings. 196 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:16,400 And so as a result of that, he said, Mom, he said, why don't you play hooky for a day? 197 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,640 And now, Leslie, I know many people who listen to your podcast or business owners, 198 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,480 they're maybe raising a family and working a full time job. 199 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,360 It's hooky. 200 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,680 You know, when was the last time you played hooky? 201 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,360 How irresponsible, right? 202 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,400 However, he said, you know, Mom, you can stay there. 203 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:33,680 You can work from there. 204 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,960 And then you can just fly up to San Francisco in a couple of days. 205 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,000 And he booked me into the Laguna Beach Hotel. 206 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:45,360 And an hour later, instead of exhausted and getting on a red eye, come back to D.C., 207 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:52,000 I am sleeping in the Laguna Beach Hotel with the window open and the sound of the surf. 208 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,760 And I woke up that next morning and we get up and get going. 209 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:56,160 Right. 210 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,280 I mean, we've got things to do. 211 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:00,480 And it's like, oh, I don't have to get up and get going. 212 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:06,560 And I pulled up the covers and I plumped up the pillow and I went back to sleep. 213 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,400 And I just set out exploring later on that day. 214 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,280 And that was when was born, the year by the water. 215 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:20,080 And I had, like many people who listen to your podcast, I had been a single mom. 216 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:25,200 I'd been working seven days a week in order to make enough money to send my kids to college 217 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,520 without college debt. 218 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,480 And I'd been taking care of everybody else but myself. 219 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,920 And I'd been putting everyone else first but myself. 220 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:38,240 And I thought it was my time to put myself as lead in my own story. 221 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:44,640 I gave away 95 percent of what I owned and then I headed out and I sailed the Chesapeake Bay. 222 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:50,320 And I went to Monet's Garden, took a photography workshop from DeWitt Jones at Monet's Garden. 223 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,280 And and Swam was Zach the dolphin. 224 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,960 And I interviewed people and I said, are you happy? 225 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,800 And if so, why? 226 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,120 And if not, why not? 227 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:08,400 And I will always remember a young man in his 30s and he had they he and his wife had two kids 228 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,360 with special needs. 229 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,440 And when I said, what's your dream? 230 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,240 He thought about it for a moment. 231 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,760 He said, I don't dream anymore. 232 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:18,880 It's too painful. 233 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:27,760 And so many people talked about what they wanted to do, but they were going to do it when they retired or when the kids went off to school or when they weren't so busy. 234 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:32,000 And we come back to Dan Pink, Leslie, those are regrets waiting to happen. 235 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,840 And that's when I wrote that book, Someday is Not a Day in a Week. 236 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,440 So true. 237 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:42,320 And it just breaks my heart that the people that are just so miserable. 238 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:47,040 I was on a call the other day and it was a lot of people that worked for the government. 239 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:52,320 And they actually have clocks you can buy that are countdown clocks till when you get to retire. 240 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,320 Wow. 241 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:54,960 That's sad. 242 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,960 And I met some girl one day who just started working and she hated her job. 243 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,560 I'm like, oh, get another job. 244 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,800 And she goes, you're not supposed to like your job. 245 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,320 That's what her parents had taught her. 246 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,280 I've got to write that down. 247 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,600 It just broke my heart. 248 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,640 And her parents worked. 249 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:12,720 People work to retire. 250 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,840 And how many times have you heard the story of you retiring? 251 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:19,120 And then you were a spouse has illness or something. 252 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:25,920 I talked to somebody that worked in HR and she said, at least once a year, somebody retired. 253 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,920 And within that first year, they had a heart attack. 254 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:43,840 You know, Leslie, that statistic is in the Someday book because actually in part of the intro is about my father and the TEDx talk that I gave on Someday was about the 255 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:50,160 My dad worked for the State Department of Agriculture in California. 256 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,640 He was in charge of vocational ag education. 257 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:58,320 He just so loved his students, his FFA students, the teachers. 258 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,000 He drove around that state. 259 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,520 I'm not exaggerating. 260 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:09,280 Hundreds of times going to all the county fairs, the state fair, going to their farms, their ranches, going to the judging contest and so forth. 261 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:13,040 And his dream was that when, gosh, I'm going to get emotional, Leslie. 262 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,520 He was going to go see the national parks. 263 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:20,880 You know, when he retired, he wanted to go see, you know, Zion. 264 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,920 He wanted to see, you know, the Rocky Mountain and so forth. 265 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,920 And when he retired, he took off. 266 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,320 And a week later, he had a stroke in a hotel bathroom. 267 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,960 And he recovered, but he never got to see those national parks. 268 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:42,880 And I, you know, you're doing God's work here with your podcast is that what I found is that people 269 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:47,680 think they're being responsible, that doing something we love is fun. 270 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,680 It's maybe it's fun, but it's frivolous. 271 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:50,560 It's indulgent. 272 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,840 I mean, I have bills to pay. 273 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:56,960 I have a family to take care of, you know, and we think we're doing the right thing. 274 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,640 Here's the thing, though. 275 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:04,240 What are we modeling for our kids that we're not supposed to like our job, that we're supposed 276 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:08,000 to work seven days a week, that we're not supposed to do something that lights us up. 277 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:08,480 That's fun. 278 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,600 That it's bad. 279 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,400 It's something to be ashamed of almost. 280 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,920 That you put it off and then, you know, a week later you get a stroke. 281 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:22,880 And so I hope what you're doing with your podcast is you're saying how precious life is. 282 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:27,840 And we can be responsible and we can love our life. 283 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,680 And that's what we want to model. 284 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:35,360 That's what we're supposed to be doing is to have the best of both worlds instead of seeing one 285 00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:36,560 as I'll do it someday. 286 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:42,800 Right. And so true, and we need to enjoy the life and do what gives us joy. 287 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:48,880 There's so many similarities in your journey in mind and things you said. 288 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:49,680 It's funny. 289 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,680 And I think I mentioned this when we talked, but I did a couple of times what I called 290 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:54,960 my toes in the sand tour. 291 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:55,920 Can I tell you that? 292 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:56,480 Yeah. 293 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,000 That like I love the beach. 294 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:04,400 And so, but I can work just like you work 24 seven and work to exhaustion. 295 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:10,640 And so I try every month to take a week off or not a week off, take time off to go to the beach 296 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:11,200 or the lake. 297 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:15,200 Recently, because I'm doing two business, I'm a little busy. 298 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:21,040 So I jumped in the car and drove an hour outside of Northern Virginia to meet somebody for lunch. 299 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,200 Just I'm like, okay, I need a break. 300 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,240 I need to fill my cup. 301 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,320 And we need to do those things. 302 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:28,880 Isn't it? 303 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:34,960 Apollo Coelho said one day we're going to wake up and there won't be any time left to do the things 304 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,400 we've always wanted to do. 305 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:41,280 And once again, as you say, there's people who listen, you know, who work in the government, 306 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,760 have full-time job, have kids they're raising. 307 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:50,160 And they really think it's selfish once again, to do something that that to take an hour to go to 308 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,880 lunch, you know, like I don't have time to do that. 309 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:59,600 Well, the thing is, is that if we do that, it doesn't it give us energy that makes us 310 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:00,800 enjoy our life? 311 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,440 You know, it's like, it's such a win. 312 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:10,880 And, you know, I really am a woman on a mission to stop using the word take time off work. 313 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:16,960 Because Einstein said you can't solve a problem with the same thinking that caused it. 314 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:21,600 And I think we can't solve a problem with the same language that caused it. 315 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:28,480 And as you may know, 57% of people do not take their full paid two-week vacation. 316 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:30,880 Let's look at that again. 317 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:36,880 Two weeks a year, they get to do what they want and they don't even take their full two weeks 318 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:42,960 paid vacation because their employees are counting on them or they've got to finish this project. 319 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,600 And that is going down the rabbit hole of poor health. 320 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:52,640 And so we are not taking time off work. 321 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,640 We're taking time on life. 322 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,960 And I was said, isn't it? 323 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,400 It was absolutely the opposite. 324 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:00,880 On life. 325 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:07,680 And there was a gentleman at EO and I speak a lot for entrepreneurs organizations. 326 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,600 So I'm speaking in Portland. 327 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:15,520 And as a result of doing the someday talk and doing our four square box where we figure out 328 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:20,000 what we're not doing that we want to and what we're doing that we don't want to, and then we change 329 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:25,920 it, he realized that he has a 15 year old daughter who's on swim team and he's a founder. 330 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,680 So it's very easy for him to get consumed by his business. 331 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,960 Monday through Friday after our talk, he started taking time off at three o'clock. 332 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,560 He drives to the high school and he drives his daughter to swim practice. 333 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:45,040 It takes about a half an hour, but he already knows that that half hour with his 334 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:50,880 15 year old daughter, when he is at the end of his life and he is looking back at the things 335 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:56,400 that he did that felt so right that he will always be glad he did. 336 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,160 He said, she's 15. 337 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,320 How much longer is she going to want to talk to me? 338 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:06,720 It's like spend time with me, have side by side conversations without interruptions. 339 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:14,400 He said it is a treasure in his life that he takes a half an hour to drive his 15 year old 340 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,560 daughter to swim practice Monday through Friday. 341 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:18,400 That's amazing. 342 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,240 My dad always owned a business my whole life. 343 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,760 He was there for all of our activities. 344 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:34,080 After dinner, he would go in his office, which was at the house or down at the other end of the lake, 345 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,480 and would do work. 346 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:42,320 But he went to the, he coached our soccer team and he went to our everything. 347 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,480 It was kind of a pain having a dad as your coach because you couldn't. 348 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:52,240 He was very active and a part of it and a part of our friends lives. 349 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:58,960 That people would come over and they would come to go do something with one of us kids. 350 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,920 He's like, grab that mulch, Sam, and mulch and they do it. 351 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,600 I'm like, what are you doing? 352 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,880 But when he passed away, people said they had had more conversation with my dad than 353 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,480 they ever had their own father. 354 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:13,600 I want to go back to that work thing because that's such a bad word that people talk about. 355 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,600 It's got such a bad connotation. 356 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:20,880 I think there's a difference too between owning your own business, which I'm so grateful that 357 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:26,000 I started a Mary Kay business 30 years ago and quit my job 25 years ago, that I've had 358 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:26,960 that flexibility. 359 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,440 It doesn't seem like work. 360 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:35,600 I've got no people that work like nine to five, there's a teacher, there's a teacher, 361 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:40,240 they work in the school system. 362 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,280 And then they're like, what are you doing this weekend? 363 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:44,320 I'm like, I got some work to do. 364 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,840 And they're like, oh, you got to work. 365 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:46,720 Are you done working? 366 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,400 I'm like, you never done. 367 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:53,040 But I could, you know, yeah, I might work on a Saturday, but I'm taking Tuesday off. 368 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:59,760 You know, Catherine Graham of the Washington Post said to do what you love and feel that 369 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:00,720 it matters. 370 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,800 How could anything be more fun? 371 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,800 And the only thing that's more fun is to do what we love and feel that it matters and 372 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,320 get to do it with people we enjoy and respect and get paid for it. 373 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,520 And so what about that is work, right? 374 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:14,480 It's a privilege. 375 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,680 It's a joy. 376 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:22,400 It is every single day we wake up and we look forward to the people we get to connect with. 377 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:28,720 We look forward to the autonomy that we have and the creativity we have and the opportunity 378 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,120 on a daily basis to make a difference. 379 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:32,640 So let's redefine that. 380 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:38,720 That is, you know, in fact, Richard Branson says, I do not see a difference between work 381 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:39,440 and play. 382 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,200 It's all the same thing. 383 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,040 And I think that's a very healthy attitude. 384 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:44,320 Absolutely. 385 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:50,880 So with all your books, with all your knowledge, how would you, what other advice, courage, 386 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:57,280 or there are other parts of your journey that you think the listeners would benefit from? 387 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,080 More why not today moments or? 388 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:05,120 You know, I get to tell you and I are both storytellers. 389 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:08,960 And so I get to tell a story first and we both love quotes. 390 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,080 So my favorite penis cartoon strip is Lucy. 391 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:18,080 It says, you know, I wonder if anyone really changes. 392 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,800 And Charlie Brown's kind of offended. 393 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,920 And he says, I've changed a lot this last year. 394 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:28,720 And she says, I mean, for the better. 395 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:34,560 So part of agency, the book I'm working on right now, and it has a lot to do with courage. 396 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,720 And that's the courage to improve what's happening to us around us. 397 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,320 We don't wait for someone else. 398 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,720 Well, it's their fault or no, they should go first. 399 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,960 No, no, no, we go first. 400 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,720 And here's one of my favorite stories. 401 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,400 We're going into Thanksgiving. 402 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:54,960 And a year ago, my son, Tom and his family and I visited my sister Sherry in California. 403 00:24:54,960 --> 00:25:01,040 Now Sherry's been running my business for 25 years and her daughter works in her business with her. 404 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:05,680 So around the dining room table, we were just talking about looking forward to the new year. 405 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:12,800 And Christie, her daughter said, well, I would like to buy a ranch and rescue draft horses. 406 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,880 Well, we decided to jump on Zillow. 407 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,920 And how much is it? 408 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,400 Well, you're not going to get a ranch in California. 409 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,520 Well, how about Texas? 410 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,800 You know, they live in Texas. 411 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:24,640 So and we had a wonderful conversation and I thought that was that. 412 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,120 Well, that was not that. 413 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,280 I get a call from Sherry in January. 414 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:30,720 She says, we did it. 415 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,320 And I said, you did what? 416 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,720 She said, we bought a ranch in Texas. 417 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,640 We're moving March 15th. 418 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,760 I said, Sherry, that's six weeks away. 419 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:40,960 She said, I know. 420 00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:46,560 And now once you, if it's not on the calendar, it's not getting done. 421 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,240 If it's not on the calendar, it's not getting done. 422 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:54,560 Since they were moving March 15th, now you can reverse engineer it, right? 423 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:54,960 Okay. 424 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,400 What are they going to do with their home? 425 00:25:56,400 --> 00:26:00,800 Well, one of their employees will live in their home and run their California business 426 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:01,920 and they can open up. 427 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:02,320 Okay. 428 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,200 Solve that. 429 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,800 What are they going to take with them? 430 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,640 Well, they can only take so much. 431 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,480 And so they have a horse trailer. 432 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:13,440 What they can fit in their horse trailer and their van and they drive across. 433 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,080 Now think, I've lived on a ranch. 434 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,760 Things go wrong on a ranch. 435 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:23,200 The day after they got to the ranch and my sister and brother-in-law have lived in California. 436 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:28,320 All their life, they had never even been to Texas or seen this ranch. 437 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,520 The day after they get there, the plumbing goes out. 438 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,880 They're out in the middle of nowhere. 439 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:34,080 Can they find a plumber? 440 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:34,640 No. 441 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:40,960 Does Christy go online and study YouTube videos and figure out how to fix it herself? 442 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:41,520 Yes. 443 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:47,120 It's like a week later, big thunderstorm, tree comes crashing down, just misses their house, 444 00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,320 blocks the road. 445 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:49,760 Do they have a chainsaw? 446 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:50,320 No. 447 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:56,320 Does their neighbor come over with a chainsaw and help them cut up that tree and haul it away? 448 00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:02,640 And when she finds out that they're rescuing these draft horses who are in kill shelters 449 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:09,680 after working hard all their life, does she offer to rent her 14 acres to them for $60 a year? 450 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:10,160 Yes. 451 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:10,400 Wow. 452 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,400 They sponsored the local rodeo. 453 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,560 They're involved in the Chamber of Commerce. 454 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:19,760 Sherry, Jo, and Christy have changed their life more in three months than most people 455 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,120 have in 30 years. 456 00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:22,160 Their whole life. 457 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:22,960 Yeah. 458 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:29,360 And it is, you know, we're coming to the end of 2024, Leslie, and I hope everyone in alignment 459 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:34,880 with what we're saying, what is one thing they can do themselves or with a loved one 460 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:42,320 or their families this year, 2024, so that when they look back, they will all, 2024 is 461 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,920 the year we finally went to Hawaii after talking about it for 20 years. 462 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:51,120 2024 is the year that we started having family dinner once a week. 463 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:55,760 2024 is the year that I finally started the book I've been talking about. 464 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,440 2020-24 is the year I got into pickleball. 465 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:00,480 My friends were enjoying it. 466 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:05,440 I thought 2024 is the year that I started walking around the lake every morning. 467 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:10,640 You know, what is something that we could do this year, put a date on the calendar so 468 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:16,880 that when we look back, we will always know that we took agency over our life instead 469 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,160 of waiting for some day. 470 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:24,480 And how often do we think, oh, I'll start that in 2025, which I was guilty of, but I 471 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,600 wanted to start, why not today, as an LLC. 472 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,600 You know when I started it? 473 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:31,600 January 1st of 2024. 474 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:37,600 But, you know, we got to do the things, yeah, in the bucket list. 475 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:45,600 I interviewed my guest that was on last week was Marissa Levin. 476 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,600 Yes. 477 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:53,600 And she shared after the podcast, she did a post, and she talked about it. 478 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,600 She did a post, and she talked about her LBL. 479 00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,600 You know what that is? 480 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,600 Tell me. 481 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,600 Local bucket list. 482 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,600 Wow. 483 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:09,600 So I've often talked about bucket lists, and I had a very interesting guest. 484 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:15,600 Her name is Laura Carney, and I saw her on CBS Sunday morning. 485 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,600 I don't know if you've ever heard of her. 486 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:21,600 Her dad died, was killed by a distracted driver. 487 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:25,600 So several years later her brother found her dad's bucket list. 488 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:31,600 And she found that she did the bucket list and wrote a book called My Father's List. 489 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:39,600 Yeah, so she does dares with different organizations on doing your bucket list so I'm very much about okay we got to do those things. 490 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:47,600 But the other thing I do is a holiday bucket list, like December 1st to be intentional every day in December. 491 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:55,600 About doing something to enjoy the holidays and doesn't have to be big, like you know Reston, and Reston town center is absolutely beautiful. 492 00:29:55,600 --> 00:30:11,600 But how we get so busy, and you just drive by to run in to grab something you don't stop and look at the lights. Look at the ice skating, you know so maybe see a holiday movie or go get a Starbucks hot chocolate or go drive around and look at Christmas lights which I always do with my nieces and nephews 493 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:20,600 when they were little we just get in the car and go look at Christmas lights, but we need to be intentional and enjoy our life. 494 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:30,600 And talking about your about the deadline and having a date on the calendar somebody said this the other day and it's stuck. It's, I don't procrastinate, I'm deadline oriented. 495 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:33,600 If I do something tomorrow. 496 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:44,600 Or next week. You know, and probably some of the very productive times my business is when I did move, because I had a deadline and I had to get stuff done and work around it. 497 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,600 Yeah. 498 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:58,600 You know Judy to new to the comedian says my parents always told me I wouldn't amount to much because I procrastinated so much. I told them, just you wait. 499 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:12,600 So Leslie we're in agreement and I hope that I just had an opportunity two weeks ago to speak at Conscious Capitalism this week to speak at Joe Polish Genius Network, and I actually asked people to get their phones out in the session. 500 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:23,600 Because it's like, okay you may be agreeing with this in theory and then we know what happens you go home from this conference you get busy and they don't call them fleeting thoughts for nothing right. 501 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:37,600 So get out your phone right now. What is something that you've been putting off what is something you've been promising yourself you'll do someday. And, and I will always remember a gentleman we had filled out the four box and by the way, let's see if you want. 502 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:42,600 I can send that to you and then you can put it on your podcast page or something like that. 503 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:57,600 So they can fill out this happiness box that helps him identify what they're delaying, and how they can put it on the calendar, and a gentleman in the session said that that what he was not doing that he wanted to is that his oldest son was going off 504 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:05,600 to college, and he knew that if they were ever going to take that family vacation that they've been talking about for all those years, it had to be that summer. 505 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:20,600 And in the session. He emailed a company a bare bolt charter place in the Bahamas, and found out how much it would cost and so forth. And like, he's a busy founder he doesn't have time to take a week off two weeks off. 506 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:36,600 He's going to be out the whole month. And, and, and by you know the Monday following the program, he and his family we're going to go bare boat chartering with a sailboat down in the Bahamas together, and he emailed me and he said, I already know that when I 507 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:52,600 get to my deathbed, and when I am looking back at my life that one of the best things I ever will have done would be was to spend that month with my family in the Bahamas sailing doing something. 508 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,600 How amazing. 509 00:32:54,600 --> 00:33:06,600 And I always at the end talk about how it relates to my dad but you keep talking, hitting things that he's done. And I didn't appreciate the time but when I was 16 years old. My parents bought a camper. 510 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:25,600 And we went on a family road trip for five weeks, I used to know how many days, hours and minutes because I was 16 years old. And so the last place I wanted to be was with my family and at that point, there was five of us kids and the youngest Catherine was five 511 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:39,600 years old. And they did that and the crazy adventures and stories but looking back like what a blessing that he took five weeks now. He had his own business and we would drive her till the afternoon we pick a place that had a pool as kids to play. 512 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:49,600 And he would get on the pay phone and work and make phone calls and do work and then as on the trip he stopped places and did work here and there as well. 513 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:58,600 But, you know, to be able to have that blessing and looking back of what a gift he gave us to be able to spend that time. 514 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:15,600 You know, isn't it, it's, I saw a study one time that asked people there for their favorite childhood memories, and number one was that their parents read to them, you know they had story time or they read books every night that was number one. 515 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:30,600 And number two was family vacation. It's very interesting because people often said, you know what, when I think back, I hated that vacation you know, we were bickering in the car, you know, it's like, we were complaining how much farther you know so. 516 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:45,600 And when they remembered the actual event it felt like you know that they had sibling rivalry and all that. But when they look back they cherish it and my friend Mary Loverty who's a Hall of Fame speaker Oprah favorite. 517 00:34:45,600 --> 00:35:00,600 Well she tells a great story about this is that they used to drive every summer to their favorite lake they would pull their water ski boat, and they would spend two weeks at that lake and they all love to water ski will going there. 518 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:15,600 And they would have a lot of like enthusiasm and so forth. On the way home they're all hot and sunburned you know spend a week together, and they'd be bickering in the backseat. So she came up with the best game. 519 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:31,600 Best friend, best laugh, you know best memory etc and so you come up with a category and then you share and then you go around the car or go around the table. And I'm part of a mastermind with Mary and every time after our mastermind, our final 520 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:49,600 we go around best insight you know best action we're going to take. And so if people maybe were coming into Thanksgiving or holiday dinner. Why not play the best game at dinner. Why not go around the table so you know we're come we're wrapping up this year 521 00:35:49,600 --> 00:36:01,600 what's, what's the best new friend you made this year. What's the, the, the most fun, the best fun day you've had. What's the best thing you've learned you know what's the best change you've made. 522 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:09,600 And you can have really meaningful conversations where everyone participates and make memories. 523 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:19,600 I always ask people when we've gone to events or done something with family or friends or work things I always ask people what was your favorite part. 524 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:29,600 And people are like, here comes I'm like yeah I want to know your favorite but I host a luncheon, and I always have people introduce themselves not with their elevator speech with but a question. 525 00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:45,600 And so I think the question that we're going to play the best game. Next week. Good. Is it, or the favorite game right and it's like, it's your favorite part of this year or your best thing or I may have a pull out their phone and write down the 526 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,600 thing they're going to do before the end of the year. 527 00:36:48,600 --> 00:37:03,600 Well, let's see I think we share. I'm a real ambassador and proponent of one table conversations, it is, you know, I'll always remember, do you remember bottom line personal by any chance or boardroom reports the little. 528 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:19,600 I remember really the first physical blog, a guy named Marty Edelman years ago would put together a newsletter that had you know the, the, the latest trend from brain surgery latest trend in fitness, the later trend, and, and I tongue food was featured 529 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:37,600 in it. So I got this embossed invitation to come to New York to go to the Four Seasons restaurant, and it coincided with the book tour so I lived in Maui at the time, I went to New York here are 25 of the most fascinating people I've ever met in my life 530 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:52,600 and they've all been featured in bottom line personal, and Marty sat at the, at the end of the table and he would ring a little bell and he would point to you, and you had two minutes to talk about, you know what was going on in your industry or the most important 531 00:37:52,600 --> 00:38:02,600 trend or something people need to know that's coming along the pipe and this profession or whatever. And I promised myself have I ever had an opportunity to do that I would. 532 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:18,600 So I lived in Washington DC I put on salons at the National Press Club, and they were often tied in with book launches for clients of mine so we would have someone come in and do a book launch, and then we would go around the room, and each person 533 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:35,600 would have a one minute epiphany, you know from that conversation or from that book or on that topic. And, and almost every single person came up to me afterwards or would email me and say, that is the most fascinating evening I've had in years. 534 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:49,600 And I was instead of talking about the traffic or the risk, you know we don't call them Redskins anymore the commanders, you know, or the traffic you know or our salad. We were talking about things that mattered and everyone had a voice, everyone 535 00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:59,600 contributed. I just think we're so hungry for that kind of meaningful conversation and connection. And we're so many people are lonely. 536 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:13,600 And I had a group for a group last night, and it's called the yay sayers group. Wow. These two women thought we need to gather women and talk and have really conversation so they started it. 537 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:19,600 They threw it on Facebook not knowing if anybody would reply and 100 and some people immediately said they want to come. 538 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:35,600 So they've been doing it for seven years, and sometimes there's two people sometimes I think we had probably close to 20 last, but I talked about courage. And, but they have, it's not in a, I mean there's some they have speakers they have a subject, but they, you know, 539 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:42,600 it wasn't me just talking to them, we talked about courage we talked about those vulnerable things what's that one thing you're afraid to do. 540 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:59,600 And so it's just so powerful. And then I listened to Simon Sinek podcast episode this morning and he was talking about friends and friendship and we need to be intentional with our friends and not like, oh I'll do it later they'll still be there. 541 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,600 Boy, that's a regret waiting to happen isn't it. 542 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:19,600 Yeah, I mean, I think the alignment with what we've said, you know, is that one, one of the books I wrote is what's holding you back and it talked a lot about how many people think well, you know, I'm shy now but when I get to be an adult, you know, 543 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:33,600 I'll tell you something really about what to say you know I'll never again be self conscious you know that they thought confidence came with being an adult and boy were they surprised when they're 50s and 60s still feel awkward walking into a room, 544 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:46,600 uncomfortable trying to meet someone for the first time. And so that book has a lot of like how we can walk into any room, anytime meet anyone, and actually have a meaningful conversation. 545 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:56,600 One person told me well here's a 60 second story is that I used to do confidence workshops in Hawaii, and we would meet over three Saturdays and we had homework. 546 00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:03,600 And the first after the first Saturday, you're supposed to introduce yourself to someone you wanted to meet. 547 00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:17,600 And so this guy named Tony came in greeting from ear to ear and Tony was an engineer out at Pearl Harbor, and he said put me in front of a blueprint, you know, I'm in my element put me in front of attractive young lady all of a sudden I'm 548 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:31,600 tongue tied tongue twisted I don't know what to say. And said but I had an excuse because if your assignment. He said so three times a week after work I go to Alamona Beach Park and I always run twice around the park clockwise he said, for the last 549 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:37,600 couple months has been a very attractive young lady who runs counterclockwise. 550 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:46,600 And he said I've always wanted to meet her but then this critic that lives on my shoulder would say Nash you know she's not interested in you. She wanted to run with somebody she already would be. 551 00:41:46,600 --> 00:42:00,600 I never had the courage to say anything he said but Monday. I have your assignment so here she comes. I say hi, she says hi back Wednesday running along here she comes I say nice evening isn't it she said sure is said Friday 552 00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,600 I'm running along here she comes. 553 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:06,600 He said, I said, mind if I run with you. 554 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:11,600 She said, I thought you'd never ask. 555 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:17,600 After we finish we agreed to meet Monday, Wednesday, Friday and run around the park he said Sam. 556 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,600 If I hadn't initiated, you know what I realized. 557 00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:34,600 I'd still be running one way she'd still be running the other way friendships Shakespeare said, many a friendship is lost for lack of speaking. 558 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:35,600 Yeah. 559 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,600 Oh, we could go on and on and on forever and ever. 560 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:48,600 But I guess we need to wrap it up soon so how would you encourage somebody else to say why not today to do the thing to the thing that scares them. 561 00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,600 How do you encourage somebody. 562 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:56,600 I guess I'd quote Michael out Schuller, he said, bad news. 563 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,600 Time flies. 564 00:42:58,600 --> 00:42:59,600 Good news. 565 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,600 You're the pilot. 566 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:15,600 Right, is to is to ask yourself you're you brought up procrastination. What is something you know you want to do you know you wanted to maybe you've been hearing about pickleball you'd love to play pickleball. 567 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:30,600 You know really should get a walking buddy, you know maybe you've been thinking I've got a friend I haven't seen in months I'm going to call her up and meet her halfway so what is something that you know you want to do and for whatever reason you've been telling yourself 568 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:46,600 you just don't have the time is to get out the phone right now and text that person asked when can we get together for lunch, the next in the next couple of weeks, call that person you want to walk with and say you know you want to meet like twice a week you know walk around the lake. 569 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,600 So, what is something you want to do. 570 00:43:49,600 --> 00:44:05,600 And I tell you, Leslie, we think we have to know to go. We think that clarity follows, you know that that if I don't have my ducks in a row, I can't go right no no it's the opposite, we got to go to know. 571 00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:19,600 So just pick a friend or something you want to do course you want to take, you know class you want to sign up for someone you want to meet, pick up the phone text him and ask, you know, when can we do that within the next couple of weeks. 572 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:30,600 And if you put it on the phone. The action will give you the clarity and the confidence and the results, and we will always, always be glad we did. 573 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,600 Amen, sister. 574 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:37,600 So true, and I'm going to think about that thing that I keep putting on. 575 00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:45,600 I did that thing that's been on my to do list work wise this week and it took me five minutes I've been putting on a list for nine months. 576 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:56,600 So many great tidbits so I always as I said try to tie back to my dad and you may have known him. I don't know if we've talked about it but he had an eye patch on a handlebar mustache. 577 00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:05,600 Did he hang out rest in town center. Now, oh no like I mean he did sometimes it was your kids, we would. 578 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,600 If not kids but when we were out of college if you'd be in a bar sometimes. 579 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:14,600 All of a sudden he's walking in the doing here, no way. 580 00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:19,600 But yeah we got the other end of the lake and so I don't know what years you lived in rest and. 581 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:26,600 He had an eye patch on a handlebar mustache and an eye patch very, very distinguished from people knew who he was. 582 00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,600 But he grew up in Southern California. 583 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:32,600 So that's definitely connection and San Fernando. 584 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:39,600 What else do you say, obviously owned his own business he did have a stroke in 2000. 585 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:46,600 Pretty devastating but he bounced back and he worked until the day he died, like literally he's on the phone people that he died. 586 00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:51,600 So, he was a very successful man, he had a very good relationship with the city. 587 00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:55,600 He was very successful in the city, very successful in the city. 588 00:45:55,600 --> 00:46:02,600 Enjoy your life. And then why was a mutual connection he actually worked in Hawaii a lot. 589 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:06,600 He did worked on military housing to planner so he spent lots of time in Hawaii. 590 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:11,600 And then the one thing you said is asked. He was a definite proponent of you never know. 591 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:20,600 Agreed, agreed. So I love this conversation I wish we could go on and on we're just gonna have to have you back when's your new book coming out. 592 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:31,600 I'll come out fall of next year. Okay, well definitely I'll be on for that. And I'll probably, I'll find other excuses and hopefully come to DC area or I'll come to Texas, where are you in Texas. 593 00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:49,600 I live on a stream trail in Lakeway, Texas right outside of Austin and anyway Leslie I really hope people connect with me on LinkedIn because I believe our life is our lab and if I have an experience or get an idea I write about it and it's just so nice to have that conversation on 594 00:46:49,600 --> 00:47:01,600 LinkedIn and people want updates on the book. I share some of my favorite stories about that there too. Okay, and that was my next question was the best way to connect so I will share all your contact information. 595 00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:06,600 And then yeah I'll have to start following your LinkedIn I've been following your Facebook I need to follow LinkedIn as well. 596 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:15,600 I will look forward to it. Thank you for this amazing conversation I'm honored to have you as a guest and so much fun. And for the listeners. 597 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:22,600 I'm going to get all your books and start reading or listening to them when I walk around the lake. 598 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:28,600 So and thank you everybody for joining this podcast episode. 599 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:41,600 It's been an inspiring journey to hear all about Sam remember every day is an opportunity to take an action chase your dreams and make a difference so why not today, and make sure you subscribe, share, rate the podcast and you can find out everything you want about the why not 600 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:50,600 podcast at whynottodaypodcast.com and until then stay motivated, keep making things happen and remember, say why not today. Thanks Sam. 601 00:47:50,600 --> 00:48:12,600 Thank you, Leslie hope people sounded interesting and inspiring. I'm sure they did.