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Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast where we celebrate courage, determination, and the

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power of saying why not today.

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I'm your host Leslie Cain.

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In each episode, we dive into inspiring stories of individuals who have taken bold steps,

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faced their fears, and embraced the possibilities of today.

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From entrepreneurs to artists, dreamers to doers, we explore the moments when we say

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enough waiting, why not today?

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Find me as we uncover the heartwarming, the audacious, and the transformative, whether

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it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles, simply choosing joy.

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Our guests share their journeys and inspire us all.

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I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often said why not today.

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And remember, you're just one decision away from changing your life.

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And my guest today is one of those perfect examples.

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They say the Kevin Bacon game is seven degrees of separation, but I think we're like a couple

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degrees of separation from all different angles.

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I feel like your world is kind of circling mine and all the connections.

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And so my friend Jamie is like, oh, you have to meet Marissa.

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And Jamie is another interesting story, which I think I share on another podcast of how

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we make we connected, which was just like a random set of things that had to happen.

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And she's like, you need to meet my friend Marissa.

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And then when I looked on Facebook and all the connections from all the different places

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in my world and just so many people know you, love you, and I'm excited to know you too

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and have you as a friend.

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So welcome.

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Thank you.

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Why not today podcast?

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So Marissa, share with us a little quick bio of you and a fun fact that somebody might

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not know.

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Oh, so I'm in my 57th year, 57th time around the sun.

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So that's exciting.

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I have two amazing sons who are my greatest teachers, 24 and 27.

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And my oldest son is engaged to an amazing young woman.

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So very excited about that.

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I'm a 30 plus year entrepreneur.

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I've had I'm building my fourth and my fifth business right now.

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So I've had multiple exits.

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I've built multi-million dollar businesses and, you know, basically my whole entrepreneurial

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journey.

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Leslie really has kind of been my vehicle for my own spiritual awakening and my soul's

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development.

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That's kind of how I see it.

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So I always tell you about that with your courage journey.

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And I love you.

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I'm unemployed.

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I mean, I'm unemployable, right?

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Because I'm just in constant evolution and I'm constantly in creation.

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And that's just how I'm meant to flow through the world.

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Yeah, love it.

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So I mentioned earlier that I connected with Elaine Gibson yesterday that knows you well.

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I love her.

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And she asked me what my archetype was.

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And I'm like, I don't know what that is.

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Have you done your archetype?

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It's so funny you mentioned that.

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So I am very familiar with archetypes, but it may be different than what Elaine was talking

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about.

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One of my most important spiritual teachers and mentors is a woman named Dr. Carolyn Miss.

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And she is a medical intuitive.

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She talks about four primary universal archetypes that we all have.

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Those are the child, the victim, the saboteur, and the prostitute.

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Those are the universal archetypes that exist in all of us.

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And then there are thousands of other individual archetypes.

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So I don't think Elaine was probably talking about that, but I'm

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She was talking about a different one.

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And this person out of the UK sent me the link and maybe I'll share it in the show notes

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just because it was so interesting.

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And you do this quick test and it talks about who you are.

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And I'm like, all right, they know exactly.

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It knew like I'm a creator and I'm creative and innovative and get bored easily.

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And what the new thing and there's many tests out there.

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I'm certified in the Enneagram, which I've done that before.

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The most deep, most of the deep rooted and most accurate tests.

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And then there are also tests around human design and gene keys, which kind of get into

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our genetic coding and our DNA, which I love.

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I mean, we could do a whole show on that.

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But there are so many different tests out there.

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So kind of boost our own self-awareness and have a better understanding of how we move

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through the world.

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Yeah, it was so cool.

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I've never heard of that one.

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I mean, I've done on Enneagram and I'm a strength finder and obviously Disk and Myers-Briggs

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and recently the Positive Intelligence.

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Yeah, I'm trained in Positive Intelligence.

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Are you?

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Okay.

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Yeah, I went through that program.

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So all the different things, but it's really cool to just, they're so on, you know, how

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they can figure out who you are.

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All right, so back to courage.

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What does courage mean to you?

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So you know, I've been thinking a lot about this question and I actually found something

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yesterday and I follow a poet on Instagram and something that she posted really resonated

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with me.

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So I'm going to read it to you because to me, this is kind of the definition of courage.

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When you wrap your arms around your own soul, you become a wildflower in the world of concrete

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where you bloom not for others, but for yourself.

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So for me, the definition of courage is truly having enough self-love to honor your soul,

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to honor who you are, to make decisions that are in alignment with your highest self regardless

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of what other people are expecting from you.

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That really is kind of the definition of courage is wrapping your arms around your own soul.

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Love that.

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Interesting.

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I think everybody has a different take on it and it all is so complimentary and you know,

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just like our personality difference or difference, the courage is different.

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So just as you start to give that definition, your sound will have a little light up.

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So maybe speak up a little bit.

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Sure.

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Yeah.

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And hopefully you guys are not hearing the background noise at my house, but they are

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drilling in the concrete outside and that's all I hear.

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So hopefully it's not coming through.

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We tried to test it, but we couldn't figure it out.

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All right, so I love your definition of courage and you've had lots of businesses and so let's

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talk about your courage journey and I always talk about people's courage journey.

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Like your why not today moments in your life and that moment that you remember where you

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were, what you're doing, who you're with, like you feel like, like that made those pivotal

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changes in your life.

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Yeah, I've had many of those.

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Yeah.

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So let's share some of those.

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Many, many and I think for me, a couple of the most pivotal ones, I've had, so I'm a melanoma

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survivor.

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So I can remember the day that I got the call from the doctor that I had melanoma and that

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was a big wake up call.

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And then I had a breast cancer scare.

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I had to go for an MRI and I was diagnosed from that MRI with stage three breast cancer.

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And so I can remember that day thinking I am not going to see my children grow up.

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I remember that day, but there were things going on in my body, hormonally, that were

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shifting like literally by the day.

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And so by the time my oncologist actually did another test, the mass that was in my

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breast had actually moved and dissolved.

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And so we had to do a lot of testing.

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And it came back as suspicious, but it did not come back as malignant.

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But I've heard those words, you have cancer twice now.

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And so I've had to have procedures for the melanoma.

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I had to have that removed.

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Thank God that didn't go any deeper.

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And then the breast cancer scare, I had to have two lumpectomies and I have to, I'm under

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a pretty constant supervision with all of that just based on what my genetic profile

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is.

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And so when you hear you have cancer, it just really changes the way you look at life.

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And I've always moved through life knowing that tomorrow is not promised.

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And so for me, I forgive very quickly.

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I don't hold on to anger.

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I truly, my intention, my highest intention is always to kind of be in that place of unconditional

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love and unconditional acceptance, knowing that everyone is on their own journey and

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that everyone's doing their best.

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And I live by the four agreements within Domie Galerouise's book, The Four Agreements,

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be impeccable with your word.

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And that means to be impeccable with your word within yourself as well as with others.

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Don't make assumptions, don't take anything personally and always do your best knowing

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that that changes from moment to moment.

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So for me, you know, we're all human.

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And I certainly have had my times and periods in my life when, you know, that I'm not proud

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of, but I also have engaged in self forgiveness.

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But overall, my intention is to move through life from a place of not even just forgiveness,

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but to even transcend that to a place of compassion and empathy and understanding, knowing that

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everyone does their best.

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Love that.

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And you know, it is such a journey.

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And that book you recommended, The Four Agreements.

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I have it.

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I don't think I've ever gotten through it, but I pulled it out again.

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Yeah, it's very important.

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I tried to, I mean, that was when I was raising my kids.

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It was a book that was very important for my, for my parenting so that we could raise our

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children with compassion.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, definitely need to pull that back out.

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It's amazing how some books, I don't know about you, but I read in one period and then

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I grab again, because that is one thing I'm very protective of is my books.

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Like, they don't leave my house.

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I've let a couple of people borrow them and I don't see them again.

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So I stopped doing that.

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Because I pick them up again and I read them.

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And yeah, reading six books at the same time, you know, and different messages come through.

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Yeah, you read them.

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Yeah, totally different.

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One of my other most important books is called the second half of life.

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It's by a cultural anthropologist named Angelus Arion.

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And that book, every time I listen to it, something new emerges.

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Like it's, I've listened to it probably a dozen times and it is such a profound book

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about the second half of life and that what that journey looks like, you know, we spend

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so much of our life, especially the first half becoming.

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Right.

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And the second half really is kind of unbecoming, right?

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Just recognizing that all of the striving that we've done in our life is only going to

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bring us to the place of realization that we have always been complete.

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Yeah, I have to listen to that one.

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And do you, I do enjoy listening to books and reading books.

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And I found if I listen to books, I kind of remember key points where I am when I'm walking

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or doing something.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And I listen to books all the time while I'm walking, if I'm not in silent meditation,

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you know, where I just leave everything behind.

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And I have discovered recently, I don't know if you pay for Spotify, but there's a lot

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of books on Spotify.

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So that's part of it.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.

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Love for that listening.

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All right.

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So give us some tips, some courage, the stories that you've gone through.

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You know, how can we encourage other people, bless other people, give people tools that

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we should be here based on your journey, your advice to other people?

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So my single, I think my most important piece of advice is people are kind of going through

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their own journeys is, you know, from the time we are born, we are conditioned.

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We are conditioned to compare ourselves.

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I mean, people, you know, kids go to preschool at ages two, three, four, five from the minute

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that they are put in community environments, they're being compared to other people, whether

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it's this one with the blonde hair, this one with the dark hair, this one with the light

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skin, this one with the dark skin, the short one, the tall one, the fat one, the skinny

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one, the one who's outgoing, the one who's not outgoing, the one who's got straight hair,

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the one who's got curly hair, the one who's got brown eyes, the one who has blue eyes,

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right?

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Like it doesn't, it doesn't matter what it is, but we are already conditioned from the

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time we are little to be compared to other people.

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And so what that does, Leslie, is it creates in us at a very early age of feeling of separateness.

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And it takes a very strong person to not be impacted negatively by that, right?

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To not be impacted by the external voices of comparison.

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And so going through our journey, if we can truly do the work where we feel connected

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to who we are in our soul and feel connected to our spirit, it's going to help us a lot

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in the long run.

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I've done a lot of writing and a lot of speaking about imposter syndrome.

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And especially, you know, this, this, you know, we're in the DC region, right?

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This is a very driven type of environment.

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It's a very comparative environment.

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I mean, it's a very polarized environment.

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It's very easy for us to think that we're not enough.

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But the only way that we feel that we're not enough is if we are making those other comparisons,

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right?

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When we can strip away all of the comparisons, the material comparisons, the financial comparisons,

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the professional, the educational comparisons, when we can strip all of that away, we realize

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that we are fully complete within ourselves and that there is no imposter syndrome because

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we are literally the only ones that can beat us.

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So how, what does that look like?

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How do you do that?

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Because we all have that going through our brain.

239
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So how do you?

240
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Yeah.

241
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000
Well, you do that.

242
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,760
I mean, a lot of it is made by my spiritual path, right?

243
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:45,480
Dami Galruiz has another book called The Five Levels of Attachment, which isn't as popular

244
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,760
as his other one, as far as well known, but it's a very important book because he goes

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through the different levels of attachment and he talks about like, if we want inner freedom,

246
00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:03,880
if we want that inner peace, that inner tranquility, we have to release the attachment to everything

247
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outside of us, the money, the materialism, the house, all of that, right?

248
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And when we don't associate our identity with those things, that's where we have the most

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freedom.

250
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We raised our kids in Ashburn, Virginia, in Brambleton.

251
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My family at the time had a house that was almost 7,000 square feet.

252
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That's actually Jamie and I were neighbors.

253
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:39,200
And it was just such a bizarre upbringing and existence for me, not my own upbringing, but

254
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just a bizarre existence because I've never been rooted in that material world.

255
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And here I was in this environment where it was like, that's really all it was about.

256
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And just being there, it just, for me, it was like the Twilight Zone, right?

257
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And so that was almost 7,000 square feet of footprint, which never felt good for me because

258
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I felt that environmentally and ecologically it was irresponsible.

259
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I felt I could never catch up.

260
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There were rooms in that house that we never went into.

261
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It was just, it was so much, right?

262
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,480
I hate that much space.

263
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:25,080
And I look at my life today now, Leslie, and I'm in a 715 square foot apartment.

264
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And I've never felt freer.

265
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Like I just, my whole life is lighter.

266
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My whole life is simpler and lighter.

267
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I believe in living light, traveling light, and being the light.

268
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Like that's kind of how I go through life.

269
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:44,320
So I have a 715 square foot apartment and it's perfect.

270
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Like it's just, it's all I need.

271
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There's no additional footprint.

272
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My utility bill every month is $60.

273
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I can't imagine what it was before in the big, huge house.

274
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,360
It was insane.

275
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:02,360
Yeah.

276
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,360
It was hundreds.

277
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,360
Oh.

278
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,360
Hundreds.

279
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,360
Yeah.

280
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:07,360
Ridiculous.

281
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:12,880
So the house I grew up in Reston was when my parents bought it in the 70s.

282
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,880
It was the most expensive house in Reston.

283
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,360
They paid a whole $150,000 for it.

284
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:26,880
But, you know, we had a good life, but I didn't realize we were the family people like, oh,

285
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,280
they're the ones with the money, which we didn't.

286
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,280
Yeah.

287
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:35,840
Six kids and it was never really that, but it's amazing the perception.

288
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,880
And then I look at those houses now.

289
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:43,920
Most of those houses are, and they're single family, pretty nice size house on Lake.

290
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:48,080
There's one in two people on most of those houses and the square footage per person is

291
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,080
ridiculous.

292
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,080
Yeah.

293
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,280
So we can go on a whole change of that.

294
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,440
But yeah.

295
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:57,760
But just, you know, you asked about how do you get to that place where you're not in

296
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:01,080
the constant, you know, the comparison mode.

297
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,120
And it really is about not looking outward.

298
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,400
It's about looking inward.

299
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,400
Right.

300
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,240
And really understanding what speaks to your own spirit and what speaks to your own soul

301
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:15,880
and from a business perspective, when you can dial into that and you can really be connected

302
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:20,600
to what I call your zone of genius, then from building a business, because I've built multiple

303
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,600
businesses.

304
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:26,520
I'm kind of shifting into strategic mode now and I do this with my businesses now.

305
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:31,560
I want to stay in my zone of genius and creation and creativity, connection, communication.

306
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,600
I do a lot of coaching.

307
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,600
I do a lot of training, education.

308
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:42,240
You know, I have two companies in order for me to stay in my zone of genius.

309
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:47,840
I have learned how I am the bottleneck, the impediment to my own growth.

310
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,840
Okay.

311
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,800
So what are the areas in my life that I don't enjoy?

312
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,320
What is not the highest and best use of my time?

313
00:18:55,320 --> 00:19:00,560
I always want to be spending and investing my time on things that I love, that I'm great

314
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,480
at and it's the highest and best use of my time.

315
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,640
And so anything else I outsource.

316
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,800
So like I have a full time digital marketing assistant.

317
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,000
I don't want to know all of those technologies.

318
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:17,680
I don't want to create my own marketing materials that is, I'm great for content and

319
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,120
ideation, but I don't want to touch a tool, right?

320
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,040
So know what you do well.

321
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,320
Know what you love.

322
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:30,040
What your zone of genius is, what you want to be doing all day, every day, and then outsource

323
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,040
the rest.

324
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,920
And people might say, well, I really can't afford that.

325
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:38,320
Well, you have to put your own skin in the game in order to build your business.

326
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:43,160
And if you can do that and really stay in your zone of genius, then you're going to end

327
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:48,600
up generating a lot more revenue for yourself than if you try and do everything, including

328
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,520
the things that you don't like.

329
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:51,520
Right.

330
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,520
Totally agree.

331
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,960
And I am, I'm having my website redesigned.

332
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,520
And so there was a couple of graphics I gave to the women working on it.

333
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:02,760
Like, can you, how would you change this?

334
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,120
And they redid it completely in like 10 minutes.

335
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,880
And I'm like, okay, I am staying in my lane.

336
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:08,880
That is not my lane.

337
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:09,880
That's right.

338
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:10,880
That's right.

339
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:14,640
And a quote that I've heard many times is take the pennies out of your eyes so you can

340
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:15,640
see the dollar signs.

341
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,120
Oh, I love that.

342
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:20,440
And so, you know, the example is cleaning your house.

343
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:24,440
You know, it takes you a long time to do it, pay somebody and get on the phone and work

344
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,800
and sell whatever you're selling or do your work.

345
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,800
Because that's not making you money to clean a toilet.

346
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,160
I totally agree with you.

347
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:35,720
You know, and we probably have a lot of people listening to this show who might have kids

348
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:39,720
who are in middle school or high school or going through the whole college process.

349
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:44,200
I will tell you that my older son was in a private school and so his school had a very

350
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:48,440
robust college application support system.

351
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:53,080
My younger son was in the public school in Loudoun County and the guidance counselors

352
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,080
were overwhelmed.

353
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:58,280
So there was no support at all for preparing them for college.

354
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,840
Again, that was not my area of strength, right?

355
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,080
I didn't know the process.

356
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,480
And I didn't want to know the process.

357
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:11,120
And I didn't want the last year of him being at home, being about me nagging him to get

358
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:13,080
his college stuff done.

359
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:17,080
So I wanted to take that out of our relationship and I wanted to really enjoy the last year

360
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,080
that he was home.

361
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:22,680
And so I outsourced that to a college counselor and it was only a few hours.

362
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,880
It wasn't a huge investment.

363
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:29,120
And what it is, is it took all that stress out of our relationship.

364
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:35,600
He was accountable to her and I didn't have to take my work time to be nagging him on

365
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,520
filling out applications and doing college.

366
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:38,520
That is so smart.

367
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,720
My own son did the same thing.

368
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:47,800
Invested in tutors to help my nephew get higher test scores so he could get in the college

369
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,440
he wanted with a scholarship.

370
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,320
So what she invested got paid back so much.

371
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:54,320
Exactly.

372
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,920
Same with my younger son.

373
00:21:55,920 --> 00:22:03,600
Yeah, he ended up going to, he went on full, practically full academic scholarship, not

374
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:09,320
quite, but he went on a high academic scholarship as a Division I athlete.

375
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,920
He went on an academic scholarship, but he ran.

376
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:16,880
And we still had to pay, when we still had to pay quite a bit out of pocket, but he would

377
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:21,240
not have been able to go to that college if he didn't have the academic scholarship.

378
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:25,040
And so, you know, those are so important lessons that I've read a book recently called Who

379
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,240
Not How?

380
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,000
Do the things that, you know, hire out the things.

381
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:35,640
And it's so, it is a hard thing to do, especially if you haven't generated the income yet, but

382
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:40,120
often say, you know, you need to hire the person before you can afford it.

383
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,120
Absolutely.

384
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:46,040
And then make the money and it always has come.

385
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,440
You know, it makes you hustle harder.

386
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:52,680
I had somebody one time in the Mary Kay world, her friend of mine's husband's like, why are

387
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,760
you so successful?

388
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:54,760
My wife isn't.

389
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,880
I'm like, because she has your income behind her and I don't.

390
00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:58,880
Right.

391
00:22:58,880 --> 00:22:59,880
I have to work.

392
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,880
Right.

393
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:01,880
Sure.

394
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,120
I don't get to procrastinate and not work and all those things.

395
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:06,120
Yeah.

396
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,760
Procrastination is luxury for business owners.

397
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:09,760
Yeah.

398
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,360
So what are tips for people starting a new business?

399
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:15,800
Like you have an idea, you can't sleep at night, you're like, I want to do a business,

400
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,760
get up, start an LLC.

401
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,240
And then how do you spell it?

402
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:25,760
I guess good advice was like, for me, you know, I can sell pencil or lipstick.

403
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,920
I know how to do that.

404
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:30,640
But when you sell your own services, how is it?

405
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,480
I've talked to a lot of women they're struggling with putting a price tag on that and being

406
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,320
able to sell their service and get out there, share with people.

407
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,480
So what would be your advice for that?

408
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:47,120
So the trajectory of business growth usually is where, you know, the practitioner is the

409
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:48,880
person who's doing the services.

410
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:49,880
Right.

411
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:55,200
So we start where we are a small fish in a small pond, then we become a big fish in

412
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:59,840
a small pond, then we become a small fish in a big pond, then we become a big fish in

413
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,800
a big pond, and then we go to the ocean.

414
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:02,800
Right.

415
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:07,120
So you literally start by putting one step in front of the other.

416
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,400
You start with one client.

417
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:14,200
And I started my first company, Information Experts, which I grew to about $14 million

418
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,360
before I exited that.

419
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:17,960
I exited that about 17 years ago.

420
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,600
When I say exit, I left.

421
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,360
I put a succession plan in place.

422
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,000
That company is still being run today.

423
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,240
Totally different from when I started it.

424
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:32,400
But when I was running it and I started it based on my master's degree of education,

425
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:37,640
of human resources and instructional design, it was a training company.

426
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,600
There was no LinkedIn.

427
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,240
There was no Facebook.

428
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,800
There wasn't any of that.

429
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,920
I would say when I started Mary Kay, we didn't even have internet.

430
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:47,920
Yeah, exactly.

431
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,040
Like this is going back over 30 years ago.

432
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,040
We had a phone.

433
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:56,840
The way that I got my first job, Leslie, as an Information Experts, is I looked in the

434
00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:05,160
newspaper and I found an association that was hiring a full-time person for a technical

435
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,840
writing position.

436
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,920
And this answers your question.

437
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:15,520
To start, you want to be able to paint the picture for a prospective customer on how

438
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:21,080
you can improve their lives, how you can be a game changer in their organization or in

439
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,080
their life.

440
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:23,920
You have to paint that picture.

441
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:29,240
That is what the opportunity and the obligation is for anyone who's selling their services.

442
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:36,040
So when I found that ad in the newspaper for when I started Information Experts, I called

443
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:40,280
them and I asked for a meeting.

444
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:44,760
And when I got there, I said to them, I'm not looking for full-time.

445
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,200
I am looking to be a contractor.

446
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:54,200
And let me explain to you why that will serve your organization better.

447
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:59,600
So it's being able to paint that picture and help them understand how you're going to help

448
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,920
them achieve their goals.

449
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,600
It can't be about why it's good for you.

450
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:09,520
It can't be about doing a pitch on your features and your benefits.

451
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:15,640
It has to be about that you understand their problems and you understand what they need

452
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:20,080
and you are uniquely qualified to help them solve their problem.

453
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:24,280
One of the most important books that I read when I was starting my company and to this

454
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:28,640
day, I still recommend it, is called Blue Ocean Strategy.

455
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,480
It's a Harvard book.

456
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:37,320
And what that is, is the Blue Ocean is where we are creating in the marketplace what's

457
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:41,840
known as uncontested marketplace value.

458
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:48,760
And that means that we are the only ones doing what we do that somehow every everyone has

459
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,880
something unique about themselves.

460
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,680
The Red Ocean is where it's deeply competitive.

461
00:26:55,680 --> 00:27:03,520
If you're in a red ocean, you are in a highly competitive, commoditized market arena and

462
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,240
you have not done a good job of differentiating yourself.

463
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,120
You want to create a blue ocean.

464
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:14,280
And my first company was initially in the commercial space and then we went to government

465
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,880
and then we became a hybrid.

466
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:23,160
And especially in the government space, where they really focus on price, lowest price,

467
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,720
you still have to be really good at differentiating yourself.

468
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,840
It's even more important.

469
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:33,200
And so Blue Ocean Strategy is where you come up with something that makes you uniquely who

470
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,120
you are and that's what you lead with.

471
00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:40,920
So for anyone who's starting any business at all, they have to have confidence.

472
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,840
They have to have their mindset.

473
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:50,560
And they have to understand why they out of anyone else are able to help a prospect achieve

474
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,280
their goals.

475
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,520
That's how you sell what you're selling.

476
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,440
Yeah, that is definitely a book I'm going to go grab next.

477
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,480
Yeah, really, really good.

478
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:06,160
And my first company with that contract, the reason that I started it is my old boss had

479
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:10,560
told me after I did a whole business case on what my value was in the marketplace that

480
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:14,480
I would never be worth more than $34,000 to his company.

481
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:18,880
And my mom taught me to never let anyone determine your value or your worth because we alone

482
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:20,360
set that standard.

483
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:24,280
So then when I decided to start my company and I went for that first meeting, I got my

484
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:28,520
first contract for $35,000 over three months.

485
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:29,520
Yay.

486
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:30,520
Yeah.

487
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:31,520
I remember one.

488
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,440
I remember 30 years ago.

489
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:39,240
I quit corporate America and I worked as a consultant for somebody and I asked the price

490
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:43,080
of how much I wanted, like went way higher than my comfort level.

491
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,400
And they're like, okay, like, oh, that was easy.

492
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,400
Yeah.

493
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:48,400
And I probably made more money.

494
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:52,600
I know I made more money super part-time than I did my other job full-time.

495
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:53,600
Yeah.

496
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:59,040
So, yeah, we just need to encourage people to take that dream, that idea that keeps them

497
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:00,040
up.

498
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,480
And there's so many resources.

499
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,400
And obviously this podcast has lots of great people and resources.

500
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:10,080
I feel like I do this podcast so I can get educated and connected with amazing people

501
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:11,080
like you.

502
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,080
Oh, thank you.

503
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:16,280
Yeah, a lot of what I do in my clients, especially in my solopreneur clients, you know, who are

504
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:24,240
looking to negotiate their worth in the marketplace, I'm always pushing them to go higher, always.

505
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:25,520
So important.

506
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:29,600
So anything else you'd like to share?

507
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,160
Lots of different things.

508
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:33,680
You tell me what you'd like to talk about.

509
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:34,840
I can talk about mindset.

510
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,120
I can talk about entrepreneurship.

511
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,280
I can talk about leadership.

512
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:40,960
I can talk about the work-life integration and work-life balance.

513
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:41,960
I can talk about...

514
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:42,960
We'll look at a few more minutes.

515
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,480
So I think we'll work on mindset because I think that's so important.

516
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:48,480
Yes, so mindset.

517
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:55,240
I mean, I think that mindset is a practice that needs to be done every day.

518
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:59,520
For me, my content diet is really important.

519
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,680
I stay away from a lot of negative news.

520
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:06,920
I don't have my head in the sand, but I'm not really on Facebook at all.

521
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,400
I don't follow any of the feeds.

522
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,920
I don't get sucked into the inflammatory discussions.

523
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,440
I'm not looking for polarity.

524
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,880
I'm looking for connection and for unity.

525
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,880
And so I really do...

526
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,160
I'm very disciplined in my morning practices.

527
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:25,920
I have a Kundalini yoga practice that I do every morning.

528
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:26,920
I work out.

529
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,720
I'm in nature pretty much every single morning.

530
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:36,960
I am very protective of my sleep, which is about seven to eight hours every single night.

531
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,760
I don't drink any alcohol.

532
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,720
I have a pretty strict diet.

533
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:45,840
So really, I find that there is a strong connection between the mind, the body, the heart, and

534
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,560
the spirit, and we kind of have to nurture all of it.

535
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:56,000
There is a huge connection between the health of our mind and just our ability to focus

536
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:02,400
or the sharpness of our mind, just how we process whether or not we have brain fog,

537
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:06,440
and the health of our digestive system and our microbiome.

538
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:14,040
And so I'm very just dialed into kind of all of that and very intentional about my health.

539
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:20,320
I live in profound gratitude, especially since I've heard those words, you have cancer.

540
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:25,080
I live in profound gratitude for my health and I never take it for granted.

541
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,080
I plan on being here for a long time.

542
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:32,920
I want to see my children have very productive, healthy lives.

543
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:37,680
And at the same time, I'm very much aware that tomorrow is not promised.

544
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:43,960
And so I do what I can to truly be in gratitude for every day.

545
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,440
Great tools and great advice.

546
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,800
And a lot of those things I definitely follow.

547
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,680
It makes, it does make a difference.

548
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:54,960
And I had a guest on one time and she had climbed herself to the top of the corporate

549
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:58,560
ladder as an African American woman.

550
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:04,520
She literally came from the ghettos in LA and was in the C-suite and ended up with cancer

551
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:08,960
twice, wasn't genetic, but stress related.

552
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:13,400
And we were talking about insurance because when I quit my job, people are like, what

553
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,400
are you going to do about insurance?

554
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,400
I'm like, I'm going to pay for it.

555
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,240
You guys are paying, working for somebody else, you're paying for it too.

556
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,240
And she said, yeah, I had really good insurance.

557
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:23,400
Thank goodness.

558
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,120
But because that job, they gave me really good insurance, I needed it.

559
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:29,120
That's right.

560
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,120
That's right.

561
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,280
Yes, we're not promised tomorrow.

562
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:34,560
We need to live our life.

563
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:38,080
Why not today and do the things now, enjoy the time, the people.

564
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:43,520
I am blessed, but I have a great nephew now and he is just precious, but he lives in

565
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,320
Kentucky and he's here visiting.

566
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,440
So I shifted my schedule around because I can.

567
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:50,440
That's right.

568
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:51,440
That's important to me.

569
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:52,440
That's right.

570
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:57,800
Well, I talked about, you know, you sent me an email, you know, after you went through

571
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:01,640
the questions I asked and said, one of the questions we talked about is how you knew

572
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,200
my dad, which doesn't sound like you did.

573
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:10,640
And so the connection, I'm trying to think, Jamie didn't know my dad either.

574
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:17,240
She came around after my dad passed away, but I always try to, as people talk, see connection

575
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:18,240
things go.

576
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:24,560
He was an entrepreneur, he owned his own business my whole life that I remember and built several

577
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:26,680
companies and did lots of different things with that.

578
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:31,920
But one of the things we talked about earlier was, and this was the philosophy of his, is

579
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,520
he was a city planner.

580
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,920
And so I think this is ingrained in my brain.

581
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:41,000
Like he talked about all these people that do become successful and they think they need

582
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,600
bigger houses and they go out further so they can get more house and more house.

583
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:50,640
And they didn't enjoy their house because they're working too much or computing too much.

584
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,920
And that whole space thing, it's like, you don't need that.

585
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:57,400
So we said that, that's not a reminder me and my dad.

586
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:01,040
So I will share in the show notes all your contact information.

587
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,040
Okay.

588
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,840
And probably some of these book recommendations.

589
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:05,840
Sure.

590
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,160
Because that's always a good thing.

591
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,280
So what's the best place for people to find you, Marissa?

592
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:11,280
LinkedIn.

593
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:12,280
LinkedIn, okay.

594
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:18,560
I'm on Facebook, but I'm really rarely on Facebook and then honestly my Instagram channel,

595
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:22,240
my social media person handles most of that.

596
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:27,000
But I engage in LinkedIn and then Marissa international.com is my website as well as

597
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,560
I five conscious leadership.com.

598
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:33,600
I'm writing my next book, which is called the little book of big joy.

599
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:37,760
And that is a whole roadmap for living your most joyful life.

600
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:42,480
And so can sign up for my newsletter, the joyful journey on my website.

601
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,400
Okay, I'll have to get that.

602
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,760
And then we'll have definitely have to have you back when your book comes out.

603
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,760
When's it supposed to come out?

604
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,760
End of 2025 by the end of 2025.

605
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:51,760
Okay.

606
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,760
You may have to have you come over the river.

607
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:55,760
Love love to.

608
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,040
And be a speaker at the luncheon sometime too.

609
00:34:58,040 --> 00:34:59,040
Yeah, love love to.

610
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:00,040
Yeah, so great.

611
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:04,360
Well, thank you for being on and sharing all your insight and thank you everybody for

612
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,720
joining us on this inspiring journey.

613
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:11,320
Wherever it is an opportunity to take action, chase your dreams and make a difference.

614
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,320
No.

615
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:16,200
So why not today, subscribe, share and keep pushing forward.

616
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:20,120
And so you can find everything you want about the why not today podcast under why not today

617
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,160
podcast.com.

618
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:23,920
And we're on every channel.

619
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:28,160
We're, I don't know if you were listening or watching, we have both.

620
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:35,200
And then as the why not today brand grows, we are adding we're doing a luncheon and rest

621
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,200
in Virginia.

622
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,680
So if you're interested, why not take connects?

623
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:41,880
We're adding a connect and sip a team morning event.

624
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:46,880
And then I am setting up courses and masterminds to help support people starting their business.

625
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,200
So why not today?

626
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:52,080
And thank you, Marissa for being a part of this journey.

627
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:53,160
Such a pleasure.

628
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,840
Thank you for what you're doing Leslie.

629
00:35:54,840 --> 00:36:16,960
Thank you.