Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast where we celebrate courage determination and the
power of saying why not today.
I'm your host Leslie Kane and in each episode we dive into inspiring stories of individuals
who have taken bold steps, faced the fears and embraced the possibility of today.
From entrepreneurs to artists, dreamers to doers, we explore the moments when they said
enough waiting, why not today.
Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, audacious and the transformative.
Whether it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles or simply choosing joy,
our guests share their journeys and inspire us all.
I started this podcast and honor my father, Patrick Kane, who often did say why not today.
I always share, remember you're just one decision away from changing your life.
And before we start the podcast, I just want to remind everybody listening, watching to
share it with a friend.
After this podcast, tell a friend to listen to it and check out all the why not today
podcast stuff at the website, which is whynottodaypodcast.com, but review it, like it, share it.
If you know somebody that could be encouraged by this.
And today it's going to be an interesting conversation.
I have my guest Sharon Ferrara.
Is that pronounced correct?
Okay.
And she, we're going to talk about her courage stories.
We're going to talk about the business.
We're going to talk about a nonprofit she started.
And then we're also going to tie in some personality assessments with the disc personality.
So we're going to do a lot today.
So I met Sharon.
I don't even remember where I first met you.
I don't need to.
Networking something with your nonprofit.
Yeah.
And then we keep just crossing paths and then recently reconnected and had coffee the other
day and just really connected.
And I love the nonprofit you and your husband and daughter have started and your message,
but also you've got a powerful training business that you and your husband run.
And you've had an interesting life journey.
I know the journey with your daughter and the nonprofit.
We'll talk a little bit about that.
But I think I was reintroduced to you several years ago when I went through the leadership
pro Fairfax program.
So just, yeah, my life.
And then we ran into each other in a movie theater and we were comparing the popcorn
and service of the movie theater journey.
Yes.
But it wasn't too good.
We won't do it.
But so Sharon, why don't you introduce yourself, give us a little bio of you, and then we'll
go through and talk about courage and.
Okay.
And I come from upstate New York and a fun fact.
Leslie is always about fun facts.
I am.
And I met my husband.
The first year we knew each other.
We didn't know each other's last name.
We just kept running into each other.
He managed a store and I would stop in every once in a while.
Turns out we have the same last name.
Really?
So that sort of started our journey together.
We both ended up in the big brother, big sister programs separately.
And then we kind of realized we both were doing that.
And so it just seemed like it was meant to be.
We moved down here for his business work in 1984.
And listening down here means Northern Virginia.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
And we both were in Albany at the time.
And we both, you know, just kept working, working, working, commuting, commuting, commuting.
And at one point we were trying to look for the perfect time to have our daughter, which
you know, when you're trying to have a child, there's no perfect time.
And his job changed soon after she was born.
He wanted to run his own business.
And then three or four years later I said, you know what, I'm going to do that too with
you and I joined him.
So we've had this blessing of a business, a training business since then.
And then we had developed this blessing of a foundation.
And I have a very strong faith.
That's really the foundation of everything for me, walking in God's love.
And you know, that's all part of the courage philosophy.
And you know, just keep busy here, work out in my home and love reading and gardening
and praying and working out.
Oh, so funny story.
And I love all the connections that I was talking to one of my neighbors the other day.
And she's been to the lunch a couple of times and I'm like, you need to come to this one.
She goes, well, I know Michael and I know Sharon and their daughter.
She's a spin.
Oh, at life.
That's who Michael knows.
Yeah.
And I'm also Melanie's dog Bosco and my dog are best friends.
Oh, all the connections.
Yeah, we've had a wonderful time here in getting involved in a lot of nonprofits.
We both went through leadership fairfax.
I was chair of the board for Main Street Child Development Center for over 10 years,
which is a nonprofit center for the underserved families and have been on Northern Virginia
Family Service Award Committee and, you know, different other organizations.
Those of us, you get involved and it helps you be a better person.
Absolutely.
And it also, you know, it helps grow businesses.
You don't do it if that intention, but people know like you trust you when you build that.
That's right.
So Sharon, what does courage mean to you?
You know, you ask that every month at the luncheon and it always seems to be, you know,
going through something even in the face of fear.
But recently I was rethinking it and I came across a Hebrew definition of it, which is
strength of heart.
That really hit me because for me, the heart, the foundation of myself is God.
So having the strength of God to help me get through anything is to me what courage is
about.
You put yourself out there, you keep your foundation strong and you push through it,
whether it's, you know, a physical thing, a mental thing, supporting someone else who's
going through a hard time, which is then going to be very hard for you.
So that's what I see as my new definition of it.
And everybody has different ones.
And that's why I love asking this question and getting to know and they all, they're
all related and they're all different, which is kind of cool.
The only person that's ever looked it up and get, gave the definition from the dictionary
was my brother.
So you've had lots of courage journeys from business to personal.
Let's start with the personal side.
You have a nonprofit called bite me cancer.
And I know, and this is in line with, well, you're just sharing your faith and your courage
definition.
So let's start there and then we'll go to business and the disc stuff.
But so share a little bit about, you know, how you got the nonprofit, the journey, and
you're still going through this journey.
And I, my hope in these podcast episodes is when people listen to it, they can say me
too, not that bad things happen and I know some things, but have happened to you, but
it gives people hope and permission.
There is a light on the other side is interesting.
I'm on my youngest sister has Down syndrome and I'm on a Down syndrome Facebook group.
And there was some mom that reached out last night anonymously, but she's like, I'm so
sad.
I'm so depressed.
I'm, you know, her baby's 10 days old and, you know, all the things and I was just, I
was tempted and I may go back and do it as opposed to picture my sister 40 tier two years
later.
Like, you know, when you're a middle that you don't think you'll ever come out, but
you do and you come back stronger and I'll, but I'll help people.
So let's talk about that journey, share your courage journey and any, why not to know today
moments like those moments of your memory exactly where you were, what you're doing
and that were pivotal into your life.
Okay.
Well, my daughter was 17 when she was diagnosed with a rare form of thyroid cancer in April
2010.
So that was very surreal, quite a shock, devastating.
And there was no treatment available for her kind of cancer back then.
So it was basically go in, have surgery and then who knows what will happen.
So there were a lot of very strong faith moments from the day of the diagnosis that just kept
giving me these messages of hope and to keep going.
She was a trooper the first evening of the diagnosis.
This is a good example of how she pushed us and we helped her.
She had wanted to go watch a soccer game at her high school because her history coach
was the coach.
Her history teacher was the coach and if you showed up, you got extra credit.
So as we were going to the doctor to get her fine needle biopsy to find out if this really
was cancer, she had taken Valium and she on the way, she was like, Oh, can I still go
to the soccer game when I get back?
We're like, okay, maybe.
And in my head, I'm thinking, well, geez, I don't even know what we're going to learn.
So on the way home, after we learned of the cancer diagnosis, my husband had to get ready
for a trip the next morning.
He had to go get a haircut.
And so I took her home and we ordered pizza and I was just, I was saying to her, you know,
this can be whatever you want this to be.
You hear people on, you see people on television say, this was the best thing that ever happened
to me.
It changed my life.
I said, you can be mad, you can be sad, you can, you know, turn this into something positive.
But you have permission to do everything and we will do all that we can to learn all that
we can.
So then a few minutes later, I was over in the kitchen and she said, hey, mom, can I
still go to the soccer game?
And I turned around and I was, I was like, that's what I mean.
You can do whatever you want.
This is it.
She's just looking at me, rolling her eyes and she said, no, I just need to know if I
can still drive since I took Valium.
Oh, yeah.
She took off and I just sat there by myself thinking, what is happening?
She's going to watch a soccer game.
My husband's getting a haircut.
My daughter was diagnosed with this rare cancer.
Life is still happening.
So when she came home, we started actually, it was so surreal joking saying, okay, you
still have to do your homework even though you have cancer.
Okay, don't forget, you still have to make your bed because you have cancer and we made
this into this joke, at least for that evening.
Well, within a week, she had said, you know what, I want to lead a Relay for Life team
for the American Cancer Society and we have had her godfather had cancer and we had attended
some of his relays in the past.
And I'm like, no, we have to go to Johns Hopkins.
We've got to learn all this stuff.
We've got to figure out if you're having surgery.
She said, no, I'm going to do it.
And one night she had the laptop and she's like, I need your credit card.
I'm going to sign up mom and dad.
And we were joking with her how she didn't have a name for her team.
And out of that conversation, very funny way, but I know we don't have time for all of the
details.
The name Bite Me Cancer came up to be her Relay for Life team.
So it turned out there was a relay in Oakden in June.
Her surgery was May 17th.
And even then it was like, why not?
Like what?
Why not today?
Right.
Why should we stop her?
This is what she wants to do.
It could be terrible.
It could be wonderful.
Well, the surgery was terrible.
She lost the use of a vocal cord.
It had the nerve had to be removed.
She had cancer in many other areas than the doctors ever thought possible.
And so we were devastated again, but she would not give up that relay.
And so I said to her, you know, we'll go to the relay.
It's an overnight event.
You're not staying overnight.
She's like, yes, I am.
And so she raised the most money that really had ever raised her and her team, her dad
and me and all of our friends over $20,000.
That night was one of the most surreal nights.
They do the little, you know, the lighted, what do you call those things, luminaries.
And over she slept and Michael and I walked around and we started noticing all these luminaries
with bite me cancer and Nikki Ferrara on them.
Turned out there were like 350 and we had only had like 20 people by them.
It was surreal.
And the leaders of the relay said, well, we had, you know, we had all these luminaries
and nobody was purchasing them.
And for some reason we chose yours and your daughter and we just put her name on all of
them.
And that was powerful.
He gives me chills.
Yeah.
So she just was focused on, okay, well now I want a foundation mom and dad since you
guys are in other nonprofits and have led other nonprofits and now I want one.
Well, and it just gives a testament to how much kids are they catch and they say caught
not taught how much she watched you guys and her determination and sometimes it's kind
of like a little kid, you know, they fall down and they're okay.
But when you make a big deal, they're like, Oh, maybe I should be upset or maybe I should
act hurt.
But the fact that she was just, you know, it's perfect.
Why not today moments that she just wanted to live her life.
And I think that's the message I really want to pass on to people like things are going
to happen, but we got to just continue to live our life and enjoy our life and not become
a victim.
Right.
So what is, I know, so you started the foundation might be cancer.
So what is the goal of that?
The mission?
What do you guys do?
I know you do some cool things.
Yeah.
So she started it September 2010 with two main goals.
One was to help teenagers support teenagers with all kinds of cancers because they fall
through the cracks, she experienced that herself, the younger pediatric patients get lots of
teddy bears and little coloring books and all kinds of things.
And then you have the adult services, but the teenagers kind of are stuck in the middle.
She was in an adult ward, even when she went through radiation, it was adult patients.
And so she developed a teen support bag.
And during that first year, we thought, you know, let's see if we can raise enough money
to give out 100 bags in the local area to teenagers who deal with cancer.
The other goal is to directly fund thyroid cancer research grants, not just give money
to a larger organization like American Cancer Society, but actually meet the doctors and
look at the research.
Because at the time, and still today, thyroid cancer is one of the leading, fastest growing
cancers to be diagnosed.
And for a while it was actually higher up than leukemia.
But because it didn't have, doesn't have a national thyroid cancer association.
It didn't have the PR.
So we've been doing all this.
And I honestly thought this would be a great project for her for her senior year of high
school, keep her positive.
But you know, here we are now 14 years later, we've given bags to almost 13,000 teenagers
in every state and DC.
We get calls and emails constantly from the teens or their parents or the child life staffs.
We're actually stuffing 350 bags on this weekend to send out.
And we have run our 10th thyroid cancer research grant as well.
So we've been able to expand some of our support services for teenagers, taking them to baseball
game or hockey game, have some fun events at Dave and Buster's, all due to donations,
either corporate suites or just donations that help us pay for things.
And yeah, here we are, we keep going.
This month next month is our 10th annual wine dinner, which is a fundraiser to focus specifically
on raising funds for these teen support bags.
And she still wants to do it every year we ask her because now she's 31.
Thank God.
She still deals with cancer, has to take oral chemo pills every day.
That's been since 2014.
And it's been great.
At least there's treatment now until, you know, those first four years we had nothing.
Right.
But every year she says, mom, if we don't do this, who's going to do this?
We can we can do it.
So yeah, it's awesome.
Here's where we are with the foundation.
Love it.
I love that, you know, she's committed to it.
And I love the connection her and Michael and they're working out.
And as we talked about the cycle studio or cycle spins teacher that's been.
Yeah.
So do you want to talk about Michael and his newest journey?
Do we want to share that?
Yeah, we can share a little bit of that.
We don't have all the details of the treatment plan until tomorrow, but he was diagnosed
with prostate cancer a little over a month ago, which was quite a shock.
And for me, it's been another surreal moment of now I have two out of the three of us dealing
with this.
But, you know, he is who he is.
So he's been sharing his story online.
He's very focused on educating other men about getting your PSA, keeping up with your
medical treatments.
And he's doing the same thing that we wanted to do with the foundation and, you know, try
to help others and give back.
They won't, you know, a lot of people who get prostate cancer get a lower level of it
and it's kind of an in and out thing, but his is a higher level.
It's not spread yet, but he's got to have a bigger treatment plan.
So I think it was mid August, he had to go get a pet scan done.
And my daughter, you know, she still has to get scans done and doesn't enjoy going even
into the buildings to get them because it's, you know, little PTSD moments here.
And he was joking with her about how, you know, I used to go with you when you were
little, I would take you, you know, at all your scans, you want to go with me.
And in the background, I'm thinking, oh, no way.
And she goes, I will, I will be there for you.
You've been there for me.
And to watch them both drive off together to go to that scan that day was just to my
heart.
I couldn't believe it.
But, you know, I love that.
You're, you guys are sharing your story.
And that's why I wanted to have you on the podcast that one, you're sharing your story
and you're trying to educate.
I love Michael's Facebook live of sharing story and encouraging other people because
often, and I don't want to, what in the experience I've seen is men are often not as forthcoming
with going to the doctor.
Absolutely.
And there were two people that had prostate cancer or colon cancer, sorry, both diagnosed
within a year.
And they got to the point they both, when they were diagnosed were almost dead.
Because of not getting treatment.
One is doing great.
And unfortunately, the other one passed away.
And so, you know, educating other people.
And I think if we can share the message and get educate people and like, let's be aware
and let's talk about these things.
Yeah, for sure.
Everybody has stuff.
Yeah, we all do.
And I found we're talking to people, there's always a story behind the story.
Yeah.
I mean, I think I've never really put myself in the why us, why me, why her, especially
having the foundation, we hear from so many families, even who have, you know, two year
olds, four year olds who have passed away from cancer.
So it is a constant reminder of how blessed we are.
I don't, for a moment, I'm not glad we're going through this, but, you know, there were
times when when my daughter started college, that was a hard thing to let her go away to
college.
She went to JMU.
But in that first month, there must have been eight students on campus who died from different
things.
All freak accidents fell off a skateboard, hit their head, walked in front of a bus,
all these things.
And I remember on the last one, which was a freshman from our area, who we didn't know,
but it really hit my daughter.
And I hung up the phone after she told us what happened.
And I said, I hope those parents were grateful for every day.
If this journey didn't teach us anything, it taught us that.
Well, I think that's really what I want to do with this podcast and the why not take
message is encourage people.
We got to live our day, our life.
We are not promised tomorrow.
And you know, cancer is one thing that affects a lot of people, but there's other things
that happen and deaths and, you know, several moms that have lost sons.
And it seems to be a lot of sons.
And it just again, freak accidents and in their twenties.
And so one good friend of mine, I've had around the podcast before Jodi, lost her son.
He was 22.
It was, I think, six or seven years ago.
But you know, she shares it on social media and shares pictures of him.
And one of the things she says is take the pictures and the goofy pictures and the dumb
pictures and save them.
Don't get rid of them if you're not perfect, because you're going to see the last year
in the happy and yeah, yeah, we got to live her life.
I actually went on when Nicole was three, I started a journal.
I don't remember where I got the idea from, but it was to write down all her little comments
and antics, the good, the bads.
And I thought at the time, oh, this will be great for her.
Like at 18 years old or 21, I'll give it to her.
But it was really ended up to be for me when people talk about life is short.
You know, when I go back through that, there are so many details and blessings and things
I would never have remembered now that fill my memory bank and fill my life with her.
With so much more.
And I have yet to give it to her.
She jokes about it.
She's like, may I ever get that?
I'm like, well, I don't know.
I love to read it still.
The other quick thing I would say that from the day of diagnosis, actually from the two
days before that, which was Easter, there's a whole nother reason.
The Bible verse John 3 16 came to her on Easter and then came to me on the day of diagnosis.
And then to the next year would pop up like on the way to surgery.
All these that to me is like the foundation of life.
John 3 16.
And so it almost was like, okay, we're, we're headed, you know, the bigger picture is beyond
what we're dealing with right here.
I got you.
That we, we just go for it.
Yeah.
And I felt like I was given a gift of being the caretaker for my daughter.
She was not mine.
She was, she came from God.
And she was a gift to me.
So that really is like the biggest picture of how I live life.
I love the story.
And I love how you guys just turned it around and are positive about it and share it.
All right.
So we're going to pivot completely and go to business.
So you and your husband have a leadership training business.
Yeah.
So he started building leadership management training company that he started in 1995.
And when you were asking, you know, what would be my, what was an example of my why not today
moment?
It has to do with the business.
At the point where he started the business, I was an executive at a telecom trade association
in Old Town, Alexandria.
So it was about a 45 minute commute on a good day.
Our daughter was just a couple of years old when I took that job.
And we merged immediately with another association and I was put in a higher level and I was
commuting between DC and Virginia and all over the place.
And over the next few years, I was realizing like, oh, this is really not what I want to
do with my life.
And I kept thinking, is it, you know, I just want to work closer to home.
Do I hate telecom?
This was when cell phones and pagers were still two separate things.
My back one.
Yeah.
And I was finding, I was actually starting to get headaches, stomach aches.
And there was one, I took a week off and did a staycation, planted flowers, walked in a
craft store looking around like, oh, people do this like all day long.
And went back to work refreshed.
And the next day, there I was back in all the physical stress elements again.
One day I was driving to work and I put on a Tony Robbins tape.
And one of the questions was, if you could do anything you want, knowing you're not
going to hear, no, what would it be?
And so I was sort of laughing.
I'm like, oh, this will be fun.
Let's see.
I want to work at home.
And this was long before people really worked at home.
Right.
I want to take a vacation when I want.
I want to be done by like three o'clock so I can be with my daughter after school.
I want to do this and that.
And there was like five or six things.
And I was just laughing thinking, yeah, that'll never happen.
And all of a sudden I had this eye-opening thought of, oh, my husband has a business.
Why don't I just work with him?
So I came home that night and I said, hey, I got to tell you what happened on the way
to work.
And I told him all this.
And he goes, yeah, yeah, maybe like four years from now you can do that.
And I said, yeah, no, I'm going to do it like within three months.
Good for you.
And he's like, what are you talking about?
We can't afford that.
Because I was really pulling the.
I was almost at $100,000 back in 1995.
So I was well up there, at least in the association.
And I said, well, what do we have to do?
So we put a business plan together and I am a very low risk person.
So this was not me at all.
And so the result was we would have to double the income of the business to just be able
to pay the bills and get through it.
So I was like, okay, then that's what we're going to do.
And he's like, okay.
So my my employees, my friends, they were like, oh, I remember my going away party.
Oh my God, you're so brave.
Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're taking this risk.
And I remember thinking and saying, no, this is this is meant to be like this is going
to work.
I can't keep up the pace and the physical issues and all that.
Well, I would say maybe within that year as we realized, oh, we're really doing this.
I thought, wow, how stress was I that me quitting a job and working full time with my husband
felt like the easier solution, the commerce solution, the more exciting solution.
Even when I look back sometimes now, when I was preparing for this, I thought, I still
can't believe I did that.
Yeah, it's definitely what I call the why not today moment that we just did it and you're
like, I'm going to do it.
Everybody else is like, what are you doing?
And when you know that you know that you know, like when I quit my job, it was 25 years ago,
people like, what are you doing?
And I'm like, I'm going to figure it out.
And I had a team member one time that wanted to quit her job.
And I'm like, what's the worst thing that's going to happen is you have to bless more
people and work a little harder.
And the business probably grew so much faster because you jumped in and you had a you had
a half to now where you had the safety net of your salary.
You didn't have it.
Yeah.
And sometimes those things happen and the journey is we have to and you just we we're
so much more capable than we ever imagined and so much more as possible.
Absolutely.
We have we use so little of our brain.
Oh, no, true.
That is just phenomenal.
What can be done?
And yeah, so here we are now celebrating the 29th anniversary of the business.
My husband jokes that we're at 41 years marriage and that's probably even the bigger.
Yeah, six challenge that we've overcome is that how did we work together all these years
and now really on two businesses.
Within our home.
And the interesting thing about the business is when the year that Nicole was diagnosed.
We were sort of like, oh my God, like how are we going to run our business because there
was a lot more we had to give to her.
That ended up to be our most highest our revenue year up to that point.
Of course, right?
It happened again in 2014.
She had cancer challenges in her lungs.
We had to go to surgery and then I had to go to the chemo and that ended up to be the
biggest year ever.
And now last year was again the biggest year ever and she had all kinds of challenges with
her side effects from chemo last year that scared the hell out of us.
And now this year he's got his diagnosis and now we're beating last year's and we're spending
less time.
Sometimes we don't spend much time at all on training or he does and I don't.
So it's just not funny at all.
God's going to take care of us and sometimes we just got to let it go and we can't be micromanaging
and it just works and I found that with my business.
I quit my job just because I'm like, like you there's a better world out here.
Just most later my dad had a stroke and I was able to be there and be at the hospital and
be there for family and not have to take off.
Thank goodness you didn't have that job.
And you guys grew the business when you did so you didn't have to depend on your salary
but then you could step out and help Nikki when you needed to.
Yeah, for sure.
Like you imagine if you were working and it would have had to say, I have to take time
off.
Yeah, I mean just for the medical would have been a complete challenge and I still tell
her every once in a while like when people will say, you know, this foundation is doing
amazing things and you've raised all this money and all.
And Michael and I look at each other like, well, if we didn't work at home and we didn't
have all this flexibility, there might not be a foundation.
Yeah.
But it would be very small compared to what we're able to do now.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So I know you're going to be the guest for my why not say connect to luncheon at the
end of September.
And so one of the things we're going to talk about is a disc personality assessments.
And I know that's what you get.
One of the things you guys teach and do with your company.
So I just thought it would be fun to give kind of a big overview kind of a tease of
what we're going to talk about.
And you know, obviously everybody listening to podcasts cannot come to the luncheon.
So give a little bit of information, but I'm hoping people will listen to this and say,
Oh, I'm going to come to that luncheon and learn more.
So what's share I know for me and my Mary Kay career, we've used a disc personality
assessment.
Often and they even used to have catalogs and different marketing materials and had
four women in the four different personalities.
So why don't you give a big over brief overview of it and then how it can relate to work
personal knowing yours and then how you can work with other people.
Yeah.
And so the everything disc model is one we've used the entire time we've had the company
and there are different.
Disks, slightly off models, depending on who the publisher is.
But the one we use is the is the original one and it's got a small I so it's DISC with
a small I.
And there's there are basically four styles, which are the DISC.
So D is the more direct, active, sometimes skeptical, in control style.
The I is the active, accepting, influential style.
The S is very reflective, sensing, accepting of people stable.
And the C is more reflective into the numbers can be more skeptical trying to like make
dot the eyes.
And then within the expanded disc, then you have combinations of those DISC's that bring
it more specific to you as a person.
And when we do it in the workplace, we ask people to fill out the assessment based on
their work styles.
But you certainly use it in personal life.
That is probably why my husband and I are still together after all the pressures and
running these businesses because we we knew his style very early on before I joined the
business and then I actually used his disc materials in my telecom association just in
my department.
And it was so eye opening, when you have people who talk differently, listen differently,
are just different.
There's a very easy way to judge and think, you know, you're right, they're wrong.
And so when you have, I'll just use the model of my husband and I, so he's a high D, high
I.
So he's under stress, he will be very, you know, let's just get this done under control,
or you know, if he was in a meeting, he would, you know, be telling people, this is what
we're going to do.
I am a low D, but I'm a very high S, which is the very sensing supportive person.
And he's a very low S.
So we joke about how when there's stress, I want to take care of it.
And he wants to tell it somebody what to do.
So when we're in the home together, and even with our daughter, we know like if one of
us is under stress, so I will joke, oh, your dad's being a D again, and or my style.
So we can learn how to interact with each other better.
In the workplace, when I did it with my team, one of our fellow VPs was a very low S, low
C, just give me the numbers.
I'll tell you what to do with them.
And I would come into her office before I learned this, and I would start chatting like,
how was your weekend?
How are your kids?
Because I'm a high S. I want to know about the family.
And we were not gelling at all.
I was just wasting her time.
But once we went through this, and then I talked to her about it, we both acknowledge that
just because we have a different priority doesn't mean either as a bad person or wasting
each other's time.
And so we started to get along great.
If you're in a team and somebody's the idea person, they come up with the ideas and you
go, okay, go take that and give me a business plan.
Well, they're not the business plan person.
They're a very low C, so they can't do that.
Yeah, so it's really like, so is DIC, is it something we're born with or we?
There's a natural tendency.
There's natural tendency, but you can adjust based on your environment.
Right.
And you can learn.
And sometimes you can just appreciate where you have to put yourself out of your comfort
zone to be a different style.
And you know that that might stress you out.
So you prepare for that ahead of time.
I think that has to do with courage that you have, you know what you, how you show up.
And it's being able to, what I've learned is then being able to figure out other people.
So there's pretty quick ways to figure it out.
Just have somebody walks in the room or ask them a couple of questions.
You can pretty easily figure out and being able to adapt to their style.
I always use, you know, with the Mary Kay example in my Mary Kay business, like the
D personality, she's trying products.
She wants to know how quick she can use it, how quick we're going to be done.
Like I don't want to spend an hour doing this party, you know, if it's a party kind of situation.
The eye is looking at herself in the mirror the entire time, not listening to a word I'm
saying the S is more concerned like, okay, I might have to get home to my family.
Are they calling?
Or can I get this product?
And is it going to work?
Cause my family is important.
I don't want to spend money on me.
And the C wants to know every single flipping ingredient, which obviously I'm not a C the
way I put it.
Yeah, right.
It just works, you know.
And so knowing people's personality and be able to adjust that when I knew people's personality,
I could adjust.
And you know, as you go through life and work and doing events and things we talked about
the other day, you and I were talking about people's personalities and you, you know,
under stress, you know, how do we show up and our personality gets bigger and to know
that you need to control it so it doesn't get big in the wrong way.
That is right.
And with life changes, people can have big adjustments.
Sometimes when there's a child or there's a firing at a work or whatever, they can change.
But you know, it's, it can stay with you if you let it because you can learn so much from
it and learn about people and be more forgiving.
And you know, it's, it's not all about you.
And as we're talking, and I'm thinking about my mother, she's got a lot of S in the detail
and family and, and, and she often is like, well, start telling me a story and it's kind
of a joke that she starts telling me something.
I'm like, and what was she wearing?
Like, get to the point.
Like what time's dinner?
Well, we're going to do this.
I'm like, I just want to know what time do I have to show up?
You know, that's the D at me is like, I don't need all the details.
Just tell me the answer.
Right.
But yeah, we could talk about this all day and I'm excited.
You're going to be at the lunch and we're going to do some fun exercises around it.
Yeah, it's just a fun activity.
I don't want anybody to think, oh God, I'm going to have to, you know, tell secrets.
So I'm going to have to learn something.
I'm going to have to like, it's just a fun game with cards with disc cards that gets
people up and around and looking at all these different disc words to see what fits with
each person.
And then they can just relate to it and share it with the group.
That's awesome.
So how would you encourage somebody else to be courageous?
You know, I think for me, it really does come back down to faith.
It really does.
I use the let go and let God a lot.
And I feel like, you know, we hear life is short all the time and I really try to look
at it as life is full.
And you can be, you should always be in the now and not worrying about things that haven't
taken place yet or might or probably will never take place if you're worried about them
and just take step at a time.
I mean, I've learned in this cancer journey, sometimes it's a day at a time.
Sometimes it's an hour at a time.
It's not usually a month or at a time.
So you just give it a try.
There's always something to fall back on.
I mean, in the end, you have your faith to fall back on, but there's other opportunities
for jobs and other things to try if it doesn't work.
But in your heart, if you know you want to try it, then you just need to try it.
So true.
Well, I always try to connect this back to my dad and people are like, well, I've never
met your dad, which did you ever meet my dad?
Oh, no.
I didn't know.
I mean, he was change, started the chamber and around lots of rest and things.
I was actually just having coffee with somebody today that I think my dad was the first president
of the chamber and she was like the third or fourth.
And it's interesting that two of the other ones were bosses of mine.
So I must be following this chamber thing.
But I always try to connect things back.
So he did do the redevelopment.
He was a city planner.
Did the redevelopment of Albany, New York later on years ago.
And then the other thing is just your determination.
And as you guys have fought the cancer battle, and he was very much like that.
He had a stroke in 2000.
And I mean, he was down and out like months.
Kometos didn't think he'd make it.
And he did and came back strong.
And, you know, he up calling.
He had such a determination to fight.
And he's like, I have grandchildren.
I need to teach people.
I'm not done in this world.
People would ask, how are you?
And he's like, I'm on this side of the grass.
And then he was diagnosed with cancer a few months before he finally passed away.
And he wanted to go through the treatment.
And we're all thinking, really?
Like, I mean, his quality of life was not that great at that point.
But he was fighting till the end.
And, you know, he was not going to let life, you know, he's going to live fullest till the
end.
And he did.
The day he passed away, actually went to the dentist, like led a regular or normal day.
He went to the dentist and then he passed away later that day.
That night.
Yeah.
He went to the dentist.
It happened to be his birthday.
His appointment was on the phone talking to people.
He was always at night after work.
He owned his own business.
So he'd go to the office and start making the phone calls.
It's funny.
I met somebody in Kathy Hutchins office and Kathy was a part of the Fairfax County board
in the rest in area.
And I met somebody at a Mary Kay event one time and she said she worked for Kathy.
I'm like, oh, my dad, you know, I know Kathy, but like my dad does, he goes, what's your
dad's name?
And I told him, she's like, I have his phone number on my desk.
I talk to, he calls me daily.
But that's great to be that active.
Yeah.
So, well, thank you Sharon for all this and probably went a little longer, but we had
so much to talk about.
And so hopefully people listening will share this with other people and come to the luncheon
if you're around.
It's, we have a couple of weeks from when this is going to launch to the luncheon.
So the luncheon is September 26th of Thursday.
And so thank you everybody for joining us on this inspiring journey.
Remember, every day is an opportunity to take action.
Chase your dreams, make a difference.
So why not today?
And make sure you subscribe, like it, share with a friend, check everything out for why
not today at the why not today podcast.com.
And again, thank you for sharing for your story and thanks everybody for listening and watching.
That's wonderful.
And remember, say why not today?
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Bye.