1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,840 Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast where we celebrate courage, determination, and the 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,520 power of saying, Why Not Today. 3 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,760 I'm your host, Leslie Kane. 4 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:16,720 Each episode, we dive into inspiring stories of individuals who have taken bold steps, 5 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:20,280 faced their fears, and embraced the possibility of today. 6 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:25,440 From entrepreneurs to artists, dreamers to doers, we explore the moments when they had 7 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,680 enough, and they said, or they said, enough waiting. 8 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:31,180 Why Not Today. 9 00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:36,160 Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, the audacious, and the transformative, whether 10 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:41,920 it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles, or simply choosing joy. 11 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,000 Our guests share their journeys and inspire us all. 12 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:50,200 I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Kane, who often said, Why Not Today. 13 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:54,680 Remember, you're just one decision away from changing your life. 14 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,280 And my guest today is Mary Latham. 15 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:03,760 And she, it's not a book yet, but I'm sure it will be, has a movement called More Good, 16 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,560 which is, if you're watching the video, it's her t-shirt. 17 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:13,520 And I first heard about Mary when I was reading Laura Carney's book, My Father's List, who 18 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:14,960 has been a guest on the podcast. 19 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,320 And I was reading, I'm like, I need to know her. 20 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,320 And then I talked to Laura, and Laura's like, you need to know Mary. 21 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:21,320 I mean, you need to talk to her. 22 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:22,880 And we finally did connect. 23 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:27,560 And I'm excited to have you on because you've done some really fun, cool things. 24 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:33,080 And I always love the journey this podcast has taken me on and the connections between 25 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:39,440 your mom and the March and just life, lots of cool connections that I feel like the people 26 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,480 that I'm meeting on this journey were meant to be in my life. 27 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,520 So Mary, welcome to the Why Not Today podcast. 28 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:50,520 And why don't you share a little bio on you, not your courage story or your life story, 29 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:56,080 but a quick bio and a fun fact about you that nobody might know. 30 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:57,080 Thank you, Leslie. 31 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:58,080 I'm excited to be here. 32 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:04,040 I lost my mom in March of 2013. 33 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:10,080 And I kind of used a conversation that we had towards the end of her life as a bit of 34 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:14,360 a life raft for my personal life ever since. 35 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,560 It was on the day of the Sandy Hook shooting. 36 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,560 And there was obviously that tragedy. 37 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,120 We were all pretty horrified to read about in the news. 38 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,600 And an act of kindness happened to someone that I worked with that day. 39 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,760 And it was just, let's not get into that yet. 40 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,760 I just want to know who you are. 41 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,760 Oh, like a three second. 42 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:34,200 Yeah, like who is Mary aside from more good? 43 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:35,920 And we'll talk about that whole story. 44 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:41,520 But in the connection, the connect coincidences is your mom actually passed away the same 45 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,320 year my dad did. 46 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:50,360 And she passed away on my birthday, which is the first and then in 2013 and my dad passed 47 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:55,160 away or my birthday March first, my dad passed away March 5th of 2013. 48 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,760 So kind of interesting coincidence of dates. 49 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:03,800 But yeah, tell us who you are and about you that has nothing to do with market. 50 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:04,800 Just get to know you. 51 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,800 Oh, okay. 52 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:06,800 All right. 53 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:07,800 And then we'll talk about that. 54 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:08,800 Okay. 55 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,000 So my name is Mary Latham. 56 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:16,240 I am from Long Island, New York, and I'm a wedding photographer and a writer. 57 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:21,920 And I am a person that believes in the good that's in the world. 58 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:25,000 And in every person that we meet, I think that everyone has a little bit of good in 59 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,000 them. 60 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:30,000 And sometimes it's easier to see than other people. 61 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,480 But I think I'm in a constant search in my life for the good in every person I meet. 62 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:39,680 And I have a fun fact of the fact that I can make my belly button and any in and outie. 63 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:40,680 Oh, wow. 64 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:41,680 Okay. 65 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,680 That's interesting. 66 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:43,680 I won't make you show it. 67 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:48,920 But so and I love that you're a wedding photographer and you've done all these things. 68 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,360 So it's fun to see people's. 69 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:56,160 Well, we have multiple hats and multiple sides to our life, don't we? 70 00:03:56,160 --> 00:04:00,880 So tell me what does courage mean to you, Mary? 71 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,200 Courage to me means showing up. 72 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:09,200 I think showing up in your own life, showing up in other people's lives when they need 73 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,680 it, whether it's family or friends or just noticing someone across the street that needs 74 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:19,400 help getting across, just kind of constantly showing up when you should be. 75 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:25,880 And I think that it's really hard sometimes, but I think that really defines your character, 76 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:29,040 the way, you know, we can't really control what happens to us in life, but we can show 77 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,440 what we do next and how we show up. 78 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:35,280 And I think that's been something that I've practiced ever since losing my mom is just 79 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:36,880 how I'm going to show up in the world. 80 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:37,880 Yeah, love that. 81 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:43,040 And it's fun to hear everybody's different courage stories and they're all a little different. 82 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:46,480 You know, someone, and I told you earlier, I said, my brother is the only person that 83 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,040 looked it up in the dictionary. 84 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,200 Believe what it means to us. 85 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,480 So all right, so let's go to your story. 86 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,200 So more good, which is a movement you've started, which I love. 87 00:04:56,200 --> 00:05:00,520 And there's lots of complexities and things you've done with that. 88 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:06,720 But it all started, why don't you share where it started on the day of the Sandy Hook shooting? 89 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:11,800 And I love how you took something so terrible and we're able to turn into something so good 90 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:12,800 and not related. 91 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:17,360 It's not that you're connected to it, but it was that it was that pivotal thing. 92 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,000 And you know what I found that when people have that pivotal moment in your life, do 93 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:25,040 you remember where you're sitting, where you're what you're wearing? 94 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:30,080 You know, the kind of day it was, we have those pivotal things in our life that make 95 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,040 a life changing moment. 96 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,400 And we remember exactly where we're what we're doing. 97 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,400 Yeah. 98 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:40,080 And I think so many of them also come from a moment of, you know, dark. 99 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:44,640 Like, I think that if I had just had that conversation with my mom that day and she 100 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:49,120 went on to live and I, you know, was living my life and everything, I might have not done 101 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,120 what I did. 102 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:54,200 But because it came right before something so horrible, it was like you kind of clutch 103 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:58,720 on to anything good to keep carrying on. 104 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:04,360 So yeah, why don't you start with how this started and the Starbucks and the Sandy Hook 105 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:05,800 story. 106 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:12,760 So I worked at a, the continuing legal education in Manhattan in 2013. 107 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,760 And I was working on the morning of the Sandy Hook elementary school shooting. 108 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,080 And I had just gotten to work that morning. 109 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:24,080 And after work, I was going to go to a family that I now need for who had a six year old. 110 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,480 And so I was reading the news and refreshing it. 111 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,800 He was still an active shooter. 112 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:32,000 And I was, as we all were pretty horrified by everything. 113 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:36,840 And as I was clicking and looking about the story, my coworker came in and he had a coffee 114 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:40,400 from Starbucks with him and he said, Oh, you really should have come with me today. 115 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,080 And I kind of ignored him and told him I couldn't afford it this week. 116 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,520 And he said, no, no, it was free. 117 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:46,880 And it kind of finally pulled me away. 118 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,640 Like I was just so hyper focused on this tragedy. 119 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,120 And I turned around and I was like, what are you talking about? 120 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:57,320 And he was like, yeah, there was a guy in earlier buying gift cards and it was right around 121 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,320 Christmas. 122 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,240 So he was getting them as Christmas presents. 123 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:05,680 And he bought an extra card at the end and told the barista to charge him $100 and run 124 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,400 it out on all the people in line behind him. 125 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,960 And my coworker was one of those people. 126 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,960 And he had had a pretty rough year so far. 127 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:16,480 He was a very positive person, but he had been having a rough time. 128 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:22,520 And so to see him finally so happy again in that moment because of a moment of kindness 129 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,840 from a total stranger was just so uplifting. 130 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,480 And he walked away from my desk and I called my mom. 131 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:35,320 I was going to say, it's such a little thing, a free coffee, $5, $6, whatever it is. 132 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,560 And dollars now at Starbucks. 133 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:37,560 $10, yes. 134 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:42,560 But it's such a little thing that can make a such a difference in somebody's day. 135 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,560 Oh, actually. 136 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,560 Like you. 137 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:45,560 Yeah. 138 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:46,560 Exactly. 139 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,960 Like I wasn't even there. 140 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,080 I never even got the coffee and it completely changed my life. 141 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:55,720 But he told me the story and when he walked away from my desk, I called my mom and I quickly 142 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,040 told her about it, but then I kind of hopped over to the shooting. 143 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,880 We grew up without television in my house. 144 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:05,160 So which should have been your fun fact. 145 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,160 That's true. 146 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,680 You know, a lot of people know that one. 147 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:12,560 So I tried to mix it up. 148 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,000 But we did grow up without TV. 149 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,760 And so my mom did not know the news yet at the time. 150 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:22,160 And so I was telling her all the details and everything about the shooter and he's still 151 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:26,080 active and how could he do this and how am I going to babysit tonight for the six year 152 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,480 old and not cry on her? 153 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:32,360 And how is there so much bad in the world? 154 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:37,440 And she kind of politely interrupted me and was like, Mary, you got to remember that other 155 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:38,680 story you just told me. 156 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:42,560 You know, there's, there's always going to be tragedies and horrible things that will 157 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:47,400 happen in life and in our own life and in the world, but they'll always be more good 158 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,960 out there if you look for it. 159 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:54,520 And that was kind of the conversation that I ended up clinging and clinging on to a few 160 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:58,360 weeks later when she, she passed away from cancer. 161 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,600 And it happened a lot quicker than we thought. 162 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:06,320 We knew she was sick, but she went in for a procedure and something didn't go correctly. 163 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:10,720 And so it was kind of the whole family assembling into a hospital waiting room and waiting a 164 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:15,320 few days until she passed and pretty much the worst week of my life. 165 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,960 And just being in that room, which so many people have already been in, you know, it's 166 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,680 such a hopeless feeling when you're in there. 167 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:26,240 And so I just thought, wouldn't it be nice to have something positive in here, you know, 168 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:30,320 that people could kind of look through to give them a little bit of hope during these 169 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,320 dark times. 170 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:37,400 And so I kind of created this, this journey around that thought of, you know, it had started 171 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,080 as a little Facebook project with a friend. 172 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,520 Yeah, let's talk about the Facebook project because that's kind of cool. 173 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:42,520 Is it still active? 174 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:46,160 Yeah, well, it's, it's molded into more good now. 175 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:51,120 So it was about that, that you started, you started that after the Sandy Hook thing. 176 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,520 And there was a story, wasn't there a story? 177 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:54,720 I love everybody's stories. 178 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,280 There was something your friend. 179 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,280 Yeah. 180 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,280 So right. 181 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:04,000 Yeah, right after the conversation with my mom, I went to a happy hour with a friend 182 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:09,120 of mine and we were just talking and I was telling her the coffee story and how, you 183 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,000 know, I feel like these stories are out there. 184 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,280 Like there's like all these moments of kindness that like we don't really get to hear about. 185 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,040 It's just like always darkness on the news. 186 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:21,160 And wouldn't it be nice to have a place to go and read them? 187 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,000 And she was going through a pretty rough breakup at the time and, and she was saying, yeah, 188 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,000 like I would love that. 189 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,240 You know, I've always thought about that too. 190 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:32,280 I always wanted to do something called, you know, gratitude with two T's like attitude. 191 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,480 So we kind of came up with this idea over drinks. 192 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:40,880 Oh, we're going to call it the gratitude project with two T's and we're going to ask people 193 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,720 to send stories in. 194 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:47,400 And right as we were coming up with this idea, my roommate texted me and she said, you're 195 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:51,360 not going to believe what happened last night, but she had been a bit over-served at the 196 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:56,280 bar and left her phone in the cab when she was getting out and it was the battery was 197 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,280 dead. 198 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:04,240 So the next guy that got in ended up charging it and then use Surrey to call the last contact, 199 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,200 which was her father who said, yeah, they live in 1425 York Avenue and he dropped it 200 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,000 off at the door. 201 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:14,800 And it was like, you don't really hear those stories happening in New York City. 202 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:19,960 So just like in that moment when we were creating this thought to have that like land in our 203 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,200 lab was just such a sign that like this is a good idea. 204 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:27,720 And you know, the rest of the project and everything since then has been very challenging 205 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,400 and beautiful and wonderful. 206 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,320 But like in that moment for something to come through right away was really just the push 207 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,320 we needed. 208 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:39,720 So we started it as a Facebook page and 11 days after the page launched was when my mom 209 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:40,720 ended up in the hospital. 210 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:41,720 Okay. 211 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,120 So yeah, so let's continue that part. 212 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:48,160 I love the story that, you know, the hospital room and then how you turn it into more good. 213 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,160 Yeah. 214 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:52,960 So, you know, I was in the hospital waiting room and I was not thinking about the gratitude 215 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:53,960 project at all. 216 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:58,400 I had created a separate email for me and my friend Laura that we would check the inbox 217 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,960 and we would, you know, copy paste and post on Facebook. 218 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:07,200 And I couldn't think about anything positive in those in those first few hours in the hospital. 219 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:12,040 But by day two, I did need to tell my jobs that I wouldn't be in the rest of the week 220 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,520 once we found out what was going on with my mom. 221 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:20,720 And so when I opened up my personal email to tell them that I had an email from someone 222 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,160 who had sent me a story and they didn't know where to send it. 223 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:29,280 So they had sent it to this email and I read it and it was a story from a girl who had 224 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,040 lost both of her parents at that point. 225 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,760 She was from Poland. 226 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,800 She was friends with my sister and she didn't even know what was going on with us. 227 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,800 She just wanted to share a story. 228 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,640 And to read a story from someone that had gone through twice what I was about to go 229 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:47,240 through and only child, you know, most of her families in Poland, like, and here she 230 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:51,920 is focusing on this beautiful moment of kindness that someone had done for her was like a little 231 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,920 shred of hope in the waiting room that that week. 232 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,080 And I thought, what am I doing? 233 00:12:56,080 --> 00:13:00,040 Like, here I have this whole other inbox of people sending stories in and we're just sitting 234 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,000 around a hospital bed and I should be reading them. 235 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:07,040 So I read my family that story and then I opened the inbox and started looking through 236 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:13,080 the stories and it just that was kind of where the idea of the book was born to, to collect 237 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:18,440 stories and to put them in a book to donate to waiting rooms in hospitals across the United 238 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:19,920 States. 239 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:23,360 And at first I didn't really have an exact plan. 240 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:28,560 I knew I wanted to travel to do it, but I didn't have it exactly mapped out. 241 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:29,560 No pun intended. 242 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:35,480 But, but I did realize shortly after getting out of the hospital and going through everything 243 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:39,040 with my mother that stories weren't coming in as much like, you know, with anything, 244 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,280 any project, you have that wave of excitement in the beginning and people are sharing and 245 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,000 it's really rolling. 246 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:50,320 And then there's kind of just you hit a rut and you're not getting as much content or 247 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,640 people aren't reaching out as much. 248 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:56,680 And so instead of getting discouraged by that, I decided I was just going to go out there 249 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,720 and find the stories myself. 250 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:02,720 And so I kind of created this plan where I would tell people I wanted to highlight moments 251 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:05,240 of human kindness across our country. 252 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:09,480 And if they knew of any stories or any people that would let me crash on their couch or 253 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:13,080 in their bedroom as I traveled through, let me know. 254 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,760 And so I made a little video with my friend. 255 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:20,160 I posted on Facebook, people started tagging people and I kind of took off from there and 256 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,960 I got in my car in October of 2016. 257 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:27,640 I was on the road for three years and actually I took my mom's car. 258 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,240 So I was the youngest of four children. 259 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,760 So leaving New York City, I was the only kid without a car. 260 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:36,880 So I got my mom's Subaru out back, which was the car I took for my journey. 261 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:37,880 That's awesome. 262 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:43,160 So you just went, just planned, planned, did you have a plan or you just got them in the 263 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,160 car? 264 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,760 Did any of us have a plan? 265 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,080 Yeah, I mean, I do and then it all gets messed up. 266 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:57,360 It's fun to have a plan and then things kind of work out the way they want to instead. 267 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:05,640 But I had an idea, I'd say for sure, of what I wanted to accomplish and it really, it morphed 268 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:10,040 into so many other things than I thought it would be. 269 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:16,840 But the mission was to hit every single state and to collect any moments of human kindness 270 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:17,960 I could. 271 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:23,920 And I thought they'd be more so stories of, you know, like the coffee guy and someone buying 272 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:28,200 someone a coffee or buying some dinner once at a restaurant, but it kind of morphed into 273 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,760 also getting to communities and having people reach out and say, oh, you really got to meet 274 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,160 this kid Ben. 275 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:37,280 You know, there was this kid in West Springfield, Massachusetts who had been diagnosed with 276 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:42,760 cancer and when he went into remission, his mom said, you know, how do you want to celebrate? 277 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:46,800 We could, you know, go to Disney World or, you know, she just giving them all these options 278 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:47,960 of fun ways to celebrate. 279 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:53,400 And he said, I think I just want to collect a bunch of toys and bring them back to the 280 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,640 hospital to the kids that are still stuck there. 281 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,680 And he was like seven years old. 282 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:58,680 Yeah. 283 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:03,720 And a friend of mine whose daughter, I think at five or six had leukemia and she started 284 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:11,000 a thing that and she, when she was in the hospital, she had a red bat, her red wagon 285 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,320 and she had people donate toys and she went and gave them to people. 286 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:15,320 Kind of same story. 287 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:16,320 Oh, that's awesome. 288 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,880 There's a really good movie I think called the red wagon, right? 289 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:19,880 The little red wagon. 290 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:20,880 No, is it? 291 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:21,880 I don't know. 292 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:22,880 Maybe that's where she got it. 293 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,120 No, I mean, it's never enough. 294 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,720 But yeah, but that's a, you should read that. 295 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,720 But you should read it. 296 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:29,720 Okay. 297 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:30,720 Look it up. 298 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:36,200 It was during Hurricane Katrina and a little kid in Florida took whatever supplies he could 299 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,640 in a little red wagon all the way to like to Louisiana. 300 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,640 Wow. 301 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:45,240 I have still not watched it myself, but someone told me about it on my road trip. 302 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,240 Okay. 303 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,240 We might have to watch that. 304 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,240 Hey. 305 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,240 Yay. 306 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,240 So, all right. 307 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:57,480 So, the kid, the kid with the, that's so cool that, you know, people, so he, he, yeah, 308 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:04,320 his name was Ben and he dressed up like Captain America and he hundreds of toys to Bay State 309 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,000 Hospital in Massachusetts. 310 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:11,320 And so then it became, you know, meeting him and meeting his family, like his mother was 311 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:16,960 a single mother and he was one of two children and to go into their home and not just be 312 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,560 sitting in New York and have someone email a story of a picture of him dressed up cute 313 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,280 and this is what he did. 314 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:28,320 I was in their home behind closed doors, like really getting to know Ben and like the struggles 315 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:33,200 they have as a family and his mother and, you know, playing a game of tag outside before 316 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,480 I left, but then like having to stop for a little while so he could catch his breath. 317 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:40,480 Like all of those little pieces that I would have never gotten if I was sitting behind a 318 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,600 computer and just sharing the stories. 319 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:48,640 I was really, you know, in the story now. 320 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:49,640 Wow. 321 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,440 That's really cool. 322 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:59,920 Yeah, so it was, it was really an array of stories between people like Ben, people who 323 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:05,000 lost a child and started scholarships, people that donated a kidney to a total stranger, 324 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:12,160 and then those, and then those small moments, which are so important because they're translatable, 325 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,720 you know, like we always feel like an act of kindness has to be this huge thing, like 326 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:19,720 we donate a kidney or we buy the neighbor's kid a car for college. 327 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:26,520 Like it's really small moments where we just pay attention to the need and then we act 328 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:27,920 on that. 329 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:32,400 And one of my absolute favorite stories from the whole journey was, was a moment like that 330 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:37,120 where there was a woman working at a bank and she was having a really bad day and it 331 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:42,120 was visible on her face and a customer came in to take money out and looked at her and 332 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,880 said, are you doing okay? Like, is there anything I can do for you? 333 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:46,880 And she was super embarrassed. 334 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:47,880 She didn't know the woman. 335 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,400 And so she said, oh no, you know, nothing, some M&Ms won't help when I get out of work 336 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:52,800 later. 337 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,680 And they laughed and the woman left. 338 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:59,440 And then 30 minutes later, she returned and slid a bag of M&Ms under her window and walked 339 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:00,440 away. 340 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,720 She never saw her again. 341 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,000 She's telling me this story 30 years later. 342 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,000 Wow. 343 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:09,480 She's called her kids and her grandkids and it's just like, you never know, you know, 344 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:13,080 you spend so many moments like that that have probably happened in our life where someone 345 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,600 pays a little bit of attention to us. 346 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:18,680 But what made me really think about it was in the beginning, I thought, oh, maybe she 347 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,960 stabbed her toe that day or her boyfriend broke up with her. 348 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,320 Like, why was she upset? 349 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:27,080 But by the end of three years and being in and out of all of these different people's 350 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:31,880 lives and in their homes, everyone is going through something right now. 351 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:32,880 And to like, 352 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:33,880 Yes. 353 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:38,360 To know that it could have been that her uncle had died in a car crash or she was diagnosed 354 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,360 with cancer. 355 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:44,880 And all carrying these really heavy traumas and events in our life. 356 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:50,880 And so that's why these moments of kindness really stick out and become so clear when 357 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,240 we're in that darkness. 358 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:53,240 Yeah. 359 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:54,240 I'm so funny. 360 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:58,000 Everything you're talking about is exactly what I'm seeing and finding with this podcast 361 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:03,280 is, although I'm not in person with a lot of people, I feel like I am walking into their 362 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:10,560 story and finding stories behind stories and just, and people are just referring me left 363 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,560 and right. 364 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,520 Like you got to meet this person and you got to meet this person. 365 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:15,760 And so it's been really cool. 366 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:21,560 But yeah, there is always a story behind that whole story and we're having a, it's hard. 367 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,560 Life is hard. 368 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,880 And there's a lot of stuff happening and everybody, you know, we have the social media life that 369 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:31,080 everybody sees and it looks like everything's perfect, but it's not. 370 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:35,120 And I was somebody talking to somebody yesterday and said, we got to be more curious and not 371 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,120 judgemental. 372 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:41,600 Like when somebody has to have on a bad day, not say, oh, they're just mean, but like, 373 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,600 what's going on? 374 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,920 You know, or just give smile back or compliment somebody. 375 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,880 It's just, and it's all the little things. 376 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,720 And I think that's what I found about courage and why not today? 377 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:57,520 It's not necessarily all the big things that is happening, but it's the little things that 378 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:01,920 make a difference and people here and give people permission and hope. 379 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,560 I always talk about this often because I wear it a lot. 380 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,040 I have a starfish necklace. 381 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,520 And do you know the story of the starfish? 382 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,520 Love it. 383 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,520 Yes. 384 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,520 I love it. 385 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:13,520 I love a starfish necklace. 386 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:14,520 That's such a good thing. 387 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,520 So I am, yeah. 388 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:19,200 And I talk about all the time and it's like that kid walking on the beach, throwing starfish 389 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,880 in the ocean and the man is like, what are you doing? 390 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,200 So I can save in the starfish. 391 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,200 He's like, how could there's thousands? 392 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,200 How can you save it? 393 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,720 I picked one up through the ocean. 394 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,720 I saved that one. 395 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,600 And so you never know how that one person that's going to listen to a podcast, listen 396 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:37,640 to your story, did your gratitude, you buy Starbucks coffee, you give them M&Ms, how 397 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,760 that one person, you can make a difference. 398 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:45,120 And that movie that just came out, if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. 399 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:48,120 It's Ordinary Angel. 400 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:49,120 Ordinary Angel. 401 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:50,120 I'm going to write it down. 402 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:51,120 It's a movie theater. 403 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:55,200 It's Hillary Swank and this family, it's a whole side note, but you know, might as well 404 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,200 share it here. 405 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:57,520 So it was going to be a conversation. 406 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:05,240 This family, the wife dies of I think cancer young and she has two, they have two young 407 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:09,120 girls, the five year old needs a lung transplant. 408 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:15,280 And Hillary Swank, the character is a hairdresser, an alcoholic, gone out totally wasted the 409 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:20,200 night before, goes to this convenience store to buy some more alcohol and sees the article 410 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:24,800 in the paper about the funeral of the mom and the lung transplant and walks into the 411 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:29,600 funeral and goes to it and then starts doing things to help this family. 412 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,960 And it's a true story out of Kentucky, but just, and the, the Starfish story they read 413 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,480 and they reference a lot in that story. 414 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,480 Yeah. 415 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,880 It's just, you know, it's those little things that there are, there is more good out there. 416 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:42,880 Yeah. 417 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:48,080 There was, that just made me think of the, there was a guy in Ohio that I met who, he 418 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:52,280 was just browsing Facebook before going to bed one night and he was married. 419 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:56,920 He had a three year old son at the time and he saw on Facebook because of, I don't know 420 00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:00,280 if it was in his area or someone had shared it that was connected to someone else, but 421 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:04,680 he had no connection to the man, but a man had, there was a picture of a man and his 422 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:08,360 three year old son and he needed a kidney. 423 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:13,040 And the guy browsing was just like, this could be me. 424 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,200 Like that could be me and my son. 425 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,360 I could need this. 426 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:20,360 And so he went and like got all the tests, which they literally give you a psych evaluation 427 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:26,240 when you want to donate a kidney to a stranger because they're like, you can. 428 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:27,640 And so they did that. 429 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,960 And he ended up donating his kidney to him. 430 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:35,360 And it was just that simple of a thought, like just this could be me. 431 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:42,480 And if we just thought like that, you know, and it's those, and it's also the random looking 432 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:47,040 at Facebook before you go to bed one night, you know, the people you see, like, I mean, 433 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:53,600 how I met you is through Laura and I met Laura because I was watching CBS this morning on 434 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,600 Father's Day. 435 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,720 I never watched CBS this morning ever. 436 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,920 And I can tell you exactly where I was, where I was sitting, what I was doing, and it's 437 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,760 led me to so many connections. 438 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:03,760 Yeah. 439 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,200 And we just, we need to pay attention. 440 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:12,000 I think that's a big message is instead of just going just mindlessly living our life 441 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:16,920 to pay attention and look for the good and the things people are doing out there. 442 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,440 So it is more good. 443 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,640 So but I know it wasn't all good on your journey. 444 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,840 It was hard, wasn't it? 445 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:26,560 It's sometimes every day. 446 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:27,920 Okay. 447 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:34,800 Um, but it, it was, um, yeah, I mean, you know, I was staying with strangers to finance 448 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:35,800 it. 449 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,840 So I was in and out of 154 homes over those three years. 450 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:44,160 And so to walk in every night to, you know, or every couple of nights to a new home, tell 451 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:49,120 your story, hear their story, um, stay up late because for them, it was only one night 452 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:50,120 for you. 453 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,120 It was every night. 454 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:58,080 Um, I just kind of chat and talk about deep traumatic moments in the person's life. 455 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,680 Um, it was really heavy. 456 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,440 It was heavy and I'm not a licensed therapist. 457 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,040 So I didn't really know how to separate a lot of the time. 458 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,400 Um, I carried a lot of those stories with me and I still do. 459 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:12,400 Um, it's been a really hard time processing all of it, which is why writing the book has 460 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:18,200 been, um, rather challenging, but I do feel like I'm finally in a good place and flowing 461 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:23,720 now, but it was definitely, um, you know, a lot of people would always ask if it was 462 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,360 a healing journey. 463 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:30,720 Um, and I would kind of laugh because it didn't feel healing. 464 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:39,680 Um, but it, it broke me into a million more pieces that kind of, I always love that quote. 465 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,720 It's like, you know, when you lose someone you love and it shatters your heart into a 466 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,880 million pieces that let all those cracks allow so much more light in. 467 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:52,640 So it was such a bittersweet experience because I have all these amazing connections and stories 468 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:57,280 and people that I have in my life now, um, because my mom died. 469 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,240 And so I was going to ask you if you were in touch with the people still. 470 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:02,240 Yeah. 471 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:07,400 And actually I had, um, you know, one of the stories I collected was in California and 472 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,560 it was a family who lost their daughter. 473 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:13,520 She was 16 years old and she had gone over to her friends on Christmas break and they 474 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:18,600 were drinking and she got alcohol poisoning and her friend didn't like her friend was 475 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:19,600 drunk too. 476 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,760 I guess didn't realize and she was just kind of propped her against the toilet and, and 477 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,560 she passed away. 478 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:31,240 And, um, and it was horrible and tragic and she didn't even really drink that much. 479 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:36,560 She just never had drink before and the mother goes around now to schools. 480 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,960 I'm really sorry about that. 481 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:40,960 What I mean here. 482 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,960 Oh, you don't hear the siren? 483 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:44,960 Huh. 484 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,720 It, that's so funny. 485 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:53,280 Cause on my podcast thing it says it's playing music, but it's a fire alarm next door, which 486 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,640 is like a hundred feet away. 487 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,640 I don't know how it's amazing. 488 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:57,640 Okay. 489 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,040 I can pick up right from that. 490 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:06,040 So the mother who lost her daughter goes around to schools and she speaks on awareness, 491 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:10,320 you know, alcohol awareness and, um, and informed students so that something like that won't 492 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:11,960 happen to them. 493 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,200 And you know, it was just one of the many stories where it's so inspiring. 494 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,400 Like here you went, you know, for me, I lost my mom. 495 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,640 I had an amazing relationship with her. 496 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,080 Um, she was the best person. 497 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:28,240 And so to be able to kind of take her advice and go out there and look for good was, you 498 00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:32,840 know, while it wasn't easy, it was a beautiful mission. 499 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:37,720 And so for this woman to tragically lost her daughter and then to go into these schools 500 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:44,560 and have to relive that nightmare just to educate and help others is so incredibly inspiring 501 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:49,280 to me and, and showing up, I mean, showing up to like the utmost. 502 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:56,200 Um, but she, uh, I was writing about her the other day and I was finally in California 503 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,840 in my writing, which was kind of my halfway mark on my trip. 504 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,480 And I just wanted to fact check something, so I looked up their website and I noticed 505 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:07,480 that their daughter had written a letter a few, like three or four months before she 506 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:08,480 passed away. 507 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,400 She flew to New Zealand and I don't know if it was a project for school or she was just 508 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:17,680 a creative person, but she wrote a letter on the flight because it was so long that was 509 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,720 titled if the plane crashes. 510 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:23,420 And so she wrote a lot of her loved ones, which was, yeah, it was insane. 511 00:28:23,420 --> 00:28:26,320 And it was such a beautiful letter. 512 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:30,640 And she like called out like all of her close friends and her family and everything, like 513 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,080 a little paragraph for each of them. 514 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,280 So it was like, how beautiful for them to have this. 515 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:39,080 Um, but at the end of the letter, you know, she touches on a lot of different things that 516 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:43,280 I mean, I was sitting here writing yesterday and in like a really in a rut and like in 517 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,280 a hard place. 518 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:48,480 And I find this letter and I'm sitting there and I'm like crying on my computer reading 519 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:53,760 this, this letter and I, I messaged her parents and I said, you know, I just want you to know 520 00:28:53,760 --> 00:29:00,080 I'm writing about you guys today and that, um, while I'm sure every single day is extremely 521 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:04,280 painful for you, she's still making an impact and affecting us. 522 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:08,520 And I, I needed this letter so desperately today and to find it was just so lucky. 523 00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:12,840 And so, and they wrote back, but it was so, I definitely try to keep the connections going 524 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:17,800 with some of the nonprofits I work with now, um, that I stayed connected with. 525 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:23,720 But, um, yeah, it was the journey was definitely, um, it was really heavy. 526 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:28,160 And emotional, but it was also quite a punch in the face of perspective. 527 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,160 Yeah. 528 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:35,360 Seeing life, um, that story about the letter and the mom brought something else. 529 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:40,200 First of all, the woman that, you know, so many people take the bad and make it good. 530 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:45,480 Like mothers against drunk driving was a woman whose child was killed by a drunk driver, 531 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:49,720 like Laura, what she's done with advocacy about distracted driving. 532 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,040 Um, but Oprah Winfrey, I don't know. 533 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:56,200 There's a book called, um, what is it? 534 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:57,840 I don't know. 535 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,800 It's a daily like simple acts of kindness kind of book. 536 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:05,040 I have to look it up to see exactly what it is, but one chapter is on gratitude. 537 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:06,040 Do you have it? 538 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,480 Oh, I was going to say, you're going to pull the book out. 539 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:15,320 No, the window was open and Sarah, somebody, but coffee table book, but I don't know. 540 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,000 So this is a book by somebody else. 541 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,120 Sarah, somebody I've got it, which I'll show you when we're done. 542 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:28,120 Um, and maybe note, note it in the show notes, but, um, this one of the chapters is on gratitude 543 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:32,200 and Oprah found the book started doing it talk and she did several stories on gratitude 544 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,200 and a gratitude journal. 545 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:37,240 I don't know if you saw any of those things with your gratitude project, but there was 546 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:42,800 a young girl that actually is in a North Virginia area that would do her gratitude journal 547 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:43,800 every night. 548 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,960 Well, unfortunately she passed away. 549 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:51,800 I'm not sure exactly how, but her parents took her gratitude journal and made laminated 550 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:56,400 bookmarks that you could email the parents and they'd send you a set of them. 551 00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:01,400 And I still, I ordered them and this was years ago and I still have these laminated bookmarks 552 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:05,040 that have her information on her. 553 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,840 And then it has on the back her gratitude journal for the day or whatever. 554 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:09,840 And I still use them in bookmarks. 555 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:15,800 I have a staff alone and I think about them often and, you know, how many lives it touched 556 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:19,520 by the marks and Oprah talked about then, I guess the bookmarks. 557 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,880 So it's kind of cool how, you know, people do live on. 558 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,560 And I think that's one of the things I'm doing with this podcast, my dad's legacy living 559 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:31,160 on and his stories and his connections. 560 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,120 And yeah, I love them more good. 561 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,760 And I think we could talk forever about it and we need to figure out a time to meet in 562 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,080 person sometime. 563 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,080 Yeah. 564 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,600 Actually, Laura is coming down here to speak. 565 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:46,160 I started a luncheon and she's going to be a guest speaker at our luncheon. 566 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,160 So if you ever know the Virginia, let me know. 567 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:49,160 That's awesome. 568 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,040 I'm actually going to be in Virginia in April, but in Charlottesville. 569 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:53,040 Okay. 570 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,160 Well, I'm two hours from Charlottesville. 571 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:56,160 Not far. 572 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:57,160 So yay. 573 00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:02,520 So how would you encourage somebody else to do something courageous? 574 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:06,880 Go on a trip, look for the story, live their life. 575 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:12,000 Um, well, to look for the story, I think they should just be the story. 576 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,600 Like I feel like it's that kind of concept. 577 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,600 If you are looking, you know, if you want light, be light. 578 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:23,400 So I think that they can create their own story by going out and buying someone a cup 579 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:28,360 of coffee today for the person in line behind them or calling a relative or a friend they 580 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,720 haven't talked to in a while and just checking them in with them or sending them a text that 581 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,680 they're thinking about them. 582 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:39,800 I think that sometimes we're constantly looking for stuff that we could be doing ourselves. 583 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:45,400 Um, but I think also, yeah, to go on a trip, you just have to go. 584 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,160 I mean, I was terrified. 585 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,440 I, I didn't really exactly have a plan. 586 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:57,400 I mapped out, um, I really had just mapped out from a thing on Google that was the best 587 00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,920 route around the United States. 588 00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:04,560 And um, I printed it out and I put some tax and post-its on it with people reaching out 589 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:05,720 and connecting to me. 590 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,080 And then I completely kind of went off. 591 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:08,880 I mean, they used it as a basis, but I went off. 592 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,400 I think he's doing it with landmarks. 593 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,000 I was obviously not doing landmarks. 594 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:18,280 Um, but yeah, you just kind of have to start and, um, it's, it's always going to be scary. 595 00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:19,920 There's always going to be something that comes up. 596 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:23,160 There's always going to be a reason to push it to the next day or week or month or year 597 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,600 or I'll do this when I'm retired or I'll do, and this is not a retirement gig. 598 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:30,880 Um, but you know, just we'll come up with a million excuses. 599 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,560 So you really just have to do it. 600 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:35,800 Just start, say, why not today and do it? 601 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:36,800 Why not today? 602 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:37,800 Yes. 603 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:44,680 So, um, I always try to pinpoint back to my dad, like people like, I never met your dad, 604 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,680 but I like, when we talk, find connections. 605 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:52,400 So the first one is my dad always saw the good and nothing was ever not figure out. 606 00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,000 You know, it was like some, something happened. 607 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,400 He's like, well, something good will come and he would search for the good. 608 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,680 Um, the adventure of your trip. 609 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:04,080 Um, we, and you have to listen to my podcast episode. 610 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:11,760 I did last, it was, um, came out March 2nd and I interviewed my mom and one of the courageous 611 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:17,240 stories I shared, which kind of type of dovetails with what you did is when I was 16 year old, 612 00:34:17,240 --> 00:34:22,400 16 years old and my parents bought a camper, a 30 foot RV and we traveled all the way around 613 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,800 the U S. Um, didn't hit every state, but went a lot and I was 16. 614 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,400 So I really didn't want to do it. 615 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:35,680 Um, but my dad took five weeks out of, he worked for himself and we'd stop and he literally 616 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:41,800 get on a pay phone and do work calls, but we did that adventure and our guide was an 617 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:46,400 old map and an R a camping guide and we go, okay, where's the next campsite that had the 618 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:50,080 most amenities, the pools and the fun things that we could all do. 619 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,800 Um, because at that point there were five of us, my youngest sister, when they started 620 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,840 on the trip was five weeks old. 621 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,920 I'm like, my mom's like, I haven't done anything courageous in my life. 622 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,120 I'm like, you kidding me? 623 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,080 That was pretty darn crazy and courageous. 624 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:03,080 Uh, yeah. 625 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:04,080 So true. 626 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:05,080 Yeah. 627 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:11,560 I feel like your mom, for her to think like, I don't have a story or this or that, like, 628 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,920 I always felt like people were doing that on the journey too. 629 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,720 Like they didn't feel their story was big enough and they were constantly comparing it 630 00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:23,520 to something else, but it's, she has been showing up in your life always. 631 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,520 Like that is such a. 632 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:26,520 And that's what I told her. 633 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:32,080 I said, you're the most important person to interview and we all have stories and there's 634 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:36,600 in a little things, just like the more good stories, it's the why not say it's the little 635 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:37,600 things. 636 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:42,280 It's some people, it's, you know, getting out of bed in the morning is hard for some 637 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,520 people and you know, all the little things that. 638 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:46,520 Yeah. 639 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:53,240 So all the little courageous things that we do and the good things we do and it just adds 640 00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:54,240 up. 641 00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:57,720 And so we need to say, why not today do more good? 642 00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:58,720 How's that for a tagline? 643 00:35:58,720 --> 00:35:59,720 I'll switch it. 644 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:04,640 And I think that we all have someone, you know, in our life that really impacted us that 645 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:05,640 we've lost. 646 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,800 And so at the very least, let's live our life for them. 647 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:09,800 Exactly. 648 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:10,880 They can't anymore. 649 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:16,560 And so what are we going to do to, to honor the fact that we're still here and we can 650 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:17,560 get stuff done. 651 00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:18,560 Yeah. 652 00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:19,560 Yeah. 653 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:23,040 Last week I had a big birthday and I wasn't really excited about it because life has been 654 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:27,920 hard recently and I had to come to realization like I'm still here and I'm still kicking 655 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,960 and I feel great. 656 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:30,960 And you know what? 657 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,560 I need to live my life to the fullest because there's some people that aren't in my life 658 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:37,400 that haven't been able to and didn't make it as long as I have. 659 00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,200 So yeah, lots of lessons. 660 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,640 So thank you for your story and sharing it. 661 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:43,640 I'm excited. 662 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:44,640 I've got a couple of fun ideas. 663 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:49,520 I think I might do with your episode, but thank you for joining us and thank you everybody 664 00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,520 for joining us on this inspiring journey. 665 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:57,160 For every day as an opportunity, take action, chase your dream and make a difference. 666 00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,040 So why not today? 667 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,240 Subscribe, like, share, follow the podcast. 668 00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:05,040 You can always find the podcast at whynottodaypodcast.com. 669 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:09,160 We have a Facebook community now that's just the why not today community. 670 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,560 And remember, say why not today? 671 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:15,280 Just never know when you can do some more good. 672 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:18,160 So thank you, Mary, for being our guest today. 673 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:23,160 Thank you for having me.