Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast where we celebrate courage, determination, and the power of saying, Why Not Today.
I am your host, Leslie Cain.
Each episode, we dive into inspiring stories of individuals who have taken bold steps, faced their fears, and embraced the possibility of today.
For entrepreneurs, to artists, to dreamers, to doers, we explore the moments where they said, enough waiting, why not now?
Or why not today?
Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, the audacious, the transformative, whether it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles, or simply choosing joy.
Our guests share their journeys, inspire us all.
I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often said, Why Not Today.
Remember, you're just one decision away from changing your life.
And I always say I'm excited about my guests, but I'm really excited about my guests today.
And you got to smile, mom.
So this is my guest, Susan Cain, who is my mom.
And that's the most important guest I could possibly ever have, because this podcast wouldn't be possible. I wouldn't be possible without her.
So I twisted her arm and talked her into doing this podcast episode with me.
But I thought as we celebrate season three, the start of season three, and the second we've celebrate two years of podcast episodes.
And that would be perfect to have my mom share about courage and stories and lots of things that she's done courageous, including having six children.
And we're just going to talk about fun things.
So, mom, why don't you share a little bit about you and a fun fact that somebody might not know.
A fun fact.
Fun fact.
I have to think about that.
So as Leslie said, I'm her mother, proud to be 60 years.
I'm not going to say that loud.
You told my age.
Head of publicizing.
Anyway, so Leslie and then five siblings, spaces between the first four and the last two, which was courageous.
I worked outside the home for many years and then retired several years ago and live in 10 minutes from resting with our, my youngest daughter, Amanda's sister, Amanda, Amanda, Leslie sister Amanda.
So what's a fun fact about you that nobody knows.
You think anything was fun childhood, something.
And I think for one of your first jobs is kind of cool thing where'd you work at a car place.
Didn't you work with stew to bakers. Oh no, no, no, no, that just happened to the bakers happened to be in community next to where I grew up.
Okay.
Yeah, I thought maybe you work there. All right. No, but what does courage mean to you I always ask my guests that so what is courage to you.
And I think just some of your other brought podcasts. I don't think courage needs to necessarily be related to anything life threatening terribly terribly serious.
I think it takes courage to just deal with a lot of, of life issues.
I was just thinking about this one Leslie and I first talked about me being with her doing this podcast, and I said, Why not today. I was a little anxious about it because I wasn't sure I had as much to share some of her other people that she's interviewed.
But just in retrospect thinking years and years ago, actually, 60 plus years.
I was walking down the aisle of what seemed then a very, very long aisle at Sacred Heart Church on the campus of Notre Dame and saying those I do is because it didn't really cross my mind at the time.
However, venturing to a obviously a new life relationship, but leaving the only place I'd ever lived that was 21.
I would have never been in a new Buffalo, New York where I'd never been before, and didn't know so.
So that is, in retrospect, that actually was pretty scary some courage it was scary. Yes.
Yeah, so you've done lots of things as you said, when we were talking about this like anything to share what I've done courageous and I can make listen listen listen listen listen listen things you've done.
Let's talk about your faith. And I think this is courageous that you on your own without your parents even knowing converted to Catholicism.
When you were high school, I was in high school I was, I went to a private Catholic girls school high school in South Bend Indiana, and my parents were presbyterian devout Mason Eastern star.
I didn't have a great love for Catholics, however, to my favorite friends or my best friends in school, grade school and junior high were Catholics and they were going to the school and it was, it was a boarding school but there were townies girls that
never thought of you as a townie.
I lived in South Bend. So it was kind of a college prep, not really finishing school but it was a whole lot different than the public school which were there were two public schools in South Bend and I really didn't want to go to the one I would have been the district for.
So I convinced my parents to send me and then, and they had, there were only 200 students in the school.
I had to send students every morning before classes started. So I started, I don't know what it was maybe sophomore year so going to chapel with my friends and I just over time embrace the faith and pursued being baptized that back then didn't have the
racism classes. So it was a priest as it was a friend of someone that I knew.
Actually, someone I became engaged to but not your father. Anyway, at Notre Dame and he kind of had several private sessions and then. So it was a one time deal I was baptized, confirmed and made my first communion.
And unfortunately, when I told my parents this they were very, very upset, especially my father.
Well you know, I always talk on podcasts about the story behind the story and there's always a story and the stories changing grow and the story that I thought I heard is and probably wrong is that you went to the Easter vigil mass at Notre Dame, and were confirmed in the Catholic
church and grandma and grandpa saw it on TV, but I guess that was wrong. It was wrong. It was nothing. I mean, it was private. Okay, and I was when I received the sacraments. However, they, the midnight mass and Notre Dame was televised.
And that's what my parents saw. And then this this is again way way back. So there were kneelers at the altar and you walk up and kneel to receive communion. And of course they saw that and when I got home, oh hell broke loose.
Yeah. So, yeah, so that was courageous and then, and we keep referencing Notre Dame and she grew up in South Bend Indiana where Notre Dame was and my dad went to school and that's how they met after he graduated.
So, you guys got married at Notre Dame, which is pretty darn cool. And then how quickly after you got married did you move to Buffalo, New York.
Three weeks, three weeks went to California on our honeymoon, flew back to South Bend packed up, Patrick's your dad's car and drove to Buffalo. Wow, this was in May. Well, and I think there was still remnants of snow in May.
Well, and you know, it's those hidden blessings from the courageous things you've done. So with you guys move into Buffalo, probably my fondest memory and connections is there was one of dad's business partners, or somebody worked with Jerry Bauer and you guys became very good friends with
our family and we're still to this day friends with our family and I moved. They were in Buffalo with us but moved back and forth. They were in rest and at one time. Yeah, and rest a couple times I think, and their kids were like my older siblings my older
sisters. So it is fun just that those connections were still there. So you're in Buffalo for all of two years, three years, the best day of her life when I was born.
My sister, Lisa was born there and then, of course, my dad decided it was time to move again. Well, his company opened an office in Bethesda and ask him to run the company so we moved from Buffalo to Bethesda and actually, so we moved to
Bethesda in July of 66. You were two Leslie or a man, Lisa was five months old, six months old and I just found out I was pregnant with Brian. Yeah, so that's a courage that definitely takes courage. Here we are in a brand another brand new place, pretty scary.
We drove out to rest and flew into national, drove out to rest and Route 7 was two lanes, Tyson's Corner, was anybody listening knows what Tyson's Corner is. It was a gas station on a road just the Route 7 and whatever across the road but it was a gas station that's all it was.
Today it's a mini city. So we're driving and driving and driving and your dad says well it's just out of little ways. So, but we get to the road that goes into Rustin turning on Village Road.
And after being in Buffalo for three years, I said I don't care where we live, but I want to live here was ultra modern contemporary lake, and there weren't many houses, a variety of houses townhouses apartment and few single family houses that were even were built by them.
And I'm barely here so that took courage to move and take two and a half kids there. And then, I probably say the most, and these are my recollections of courage things is what I was.
And so four of us so then my brother Christmas born, and then 12 years later, my sister Catherine was born. And this is probably the story we share and I remember my sister in law, like, hearing the story and going you aren't serious, I'm like, Oh, we're so serious about the story.
I don't know, I guess dad had the grand idea which is so funny how I followed his footsteps so much working for myself traveling a lot so he worked for himself. And thinking back I mean it was a pretty bold thing that he did and a gift that he gave us although I didn't appreciate it I was 16 years old, and they bought a 25 foot camper.
I think it was 30 30 something I drove it at 16 which was pretty scary and packed up. And we left July of 1980. Catherine was all of five weeks old. I was 16. So we show us 1413 and 12 and then Catherine was all five weeks old and we packed up and left.
And we're gone. I used to know exactly the time it was five weeks and there are so many days and so many hours and minutes and because I was 16 years old and the last thing I want to do with be with parents family I want to be with my friends I just got my driver's license.
And I didn't want to be with my family traveling. And so I think you drove all of, maybe 20 minutes, maybe, maybe, and then myself and my dad drove legitimately legally. And, you know, they gave me as a 16 year old wheels of a 30 foot camper.
And so what the heck was going through your mind take it a five week old and four other kids and being gone for five weeks in a camper. Actually, that was going to be one of my courageous stories.
So the night before we left, dad had been in California and business and brought the red eye. So I'm laying there in bed and I course had my all my spices and these things that I felt are electric skillet.
And I had a lot of my important things and already packed up in the camper so that night I couldn't sleep because I was laying there thinking.
What the heck are we doing five week old baby. But as it turned out, it wasn't that bad.
It was that plan adventure and it was fun. We had a we had a system going we'd get up in the morning and of course, dad and I'd wake up I make coffee and then because Catherine was awake and everybody else slept.
The next morning, we have a plan that was roused and we had this plan. All right, we had these maps. National geographic.
I saw those the other day in somebody's house. Yeah, maps they were in a orange or yellow box wax cloth, you know, yellow box. Anyway, we got the map and dad and say, all right you kids, where do you how far do you want to go where do you want to go what do you want to see.
So we kind of plotted out no cell phones.
I was thinking back on now, it's kind of scary.
Well, I remember you saying the deal was
that we stayed in hotels part of the time.
I think we stayed in like.
I wouldn't even agree to go unless Dad.
We barely stayed in any hotels.
We didn't stay.
We stayed campgrounds, and we get to the campground,
and we picked the campground as the kids
with the fun things to do.
And then you, or Dad would get to do work.
He would go to the pay phone and do his work.
It was crazy.
It was fun.
So yeah, we went on lots of adventures as kids, not just
that, but also I have your fond memories of Dad
would have worked to do.
And we just all throw us in the car and we'd go.
We had to go to Maine, went to Florida, and he'd go work,
and you'd drive us around and entertain us.
The other kind of thing, let's go back to the camper thing.
So this is the crazy story.
And hopefully there aren't any police officers listening.
I guess statute of limitations expired.
And people can't believe the story,
but we were driving this 30-foot camper.
Now, I'm 16 legally driving, I said.
But Alicia, Brian, and Christopher, who Chris was,
I think, 11 at that point.
He hadn't even turned 12 yet, drove the camper at some part,
because my dad had to get his martini.
And so the seat swiveled.
I don't know if he can do that until we can.
No, he did.
I'm going to disagree.
The seat swiveled.
So he would swivel the seat and slip out,
and one of us would slip in and drive.
Now, we were in the middle of nowhere going down straight
highways, probably going way too fast.
But that was the first experience of us driving.
Yeah, there were some crazy experiences there.
The other thing, too, is when I was 9, 10, and grandpa Kane
died, I remember coming home from school,
and you didn't have to go religious ed class.
It was called CCD.
I distinctly remember going, you don't have to go to CCD today.
I'm like, cool.
So your grandfather died, which it wasn't
traumatic at that point, because we knew him,
but he didn't live here.
I lived in California.
So literally, we met.
I remember we meeting dad, and he's coming home from the airport.
He traveled a lot and jumped in the car,
and we went to California.
We were there for three, four months.
We didn't jump in the car.
Well, he got in the car.
And we went, no.
And then we flew.
Yeah, we flew.
But dad met us.
Dad had been out of town, but he came.
I think we met in New York or something,
because John, his distance partners took us to the airport.
Right.
Yeah, we flew.
We all flew out.
Yeah, so but we got there and you put us in school,
and we lived there.
Well, from November, he passed away.
Yeah, three, four months.
And actually, October, because that's another fun story.
That's probably.
October until February.
Yeah.
So yeah, so that was a fun experience,
but you put us in school.
You had to take, you had four kids.
I do remember distinctly coming back from,
and we literally left with suitcases.
And my dad was traveling back and forth.
And you went to Toys R Us and came back with all these cool toys.
And I still remember that.
And it was a great experience.
So we've had lots of cool experiences.
And then probably two years later after the epic trip.
And this was a very courageous thing.
And it still takes courage every single day.
Is raising my younger sister, Amanda.
So Amanda was born with Down syndrome.
You did not know until the day she was born.
And didn't wasn't even sure what it was.
Right.
And it was a traumatic delivery.
And she was born with Down syndrome.
And we didn't really know what it was or anything about it.
And at the point Amanda was born, I remember several people asking,
are you going to keep her?
And I'm like, a very close friend of ours.
Yeah.
Well, and at that point, a lot of people with Down syndrome
were institutionalized.
Actually, the nurse that was in, because I had an emergency
section who's in delivery said after she was born,
and she's telling us what she is.
And she's never going to be normal.
And she said, you know, you do have the option
of placing Amanda in whatever.
Crazy.
And they didn't even ask if you want
to be in another area in the hospital away
from the normal mothers.
Like crazy.
So Amanda.
Of course, your father being what he was,
he looks at this nurse and challenges
her to what is normal.
In fact, he have, I still have it.
He dictated a letter on the way home from the hospital
that night.
And I'm sure he didn't have it.
Yeah.
About what is normal.
So yeah, Amanda is now 42.
And the big 41, she'll be 42, I guess.
She's already on her 42nd birthday planning it,
not till July.
But yeah, it's been a courageous journey for all of us
raising Amanda and all the things, the challenges.
I remember you putting her on the bus to send her to preschool.
And followed the bus.
And she had open heart surgery.
And so lots of courageous things going through that.
And raising Amanda and it's taken a village.
I was just going to say that.
Yes.
So not dad's, not dad's original saying,
but he always said it takes a village and it did.
It was our faith community, our resting community.
Yeah.
And I think, you know, so as you mentioned, dad always,
and that's kind of the premise for the Why Not Today podcast,
he always saw a positive side to things.
And he always said it's figureoutable.
And is that a word?
It is a word.
There's actually a book.
Somebody wrote it.
Everything's figureoutable.
And it is.
And we've had lots of challenges.
And my dad had a major stroke in 2000.
And we didn't know if he'd live.
And that was a courageous thing.
That was a courageous thing.
So we've had lots of ups and downs
and you've survived all of them.
I think I did.
You have.
And raised six amazing kids and we're all successful.
I have seven grandchildren, one great grandson,
which is crazy that I have a great nephew.
But so let's talk about dad as we celebrate the anniversary.
And I love to cry.
We were going to record this on his birthday, but we're not.
So what are the traits of my father, your husband,
that you admired the most through your whole,
you guys were together for almost 50 years married.
He passed away.
And that's a whole another funny, courageous, funny story.
What do we do now?
He passed away.
They had planned their 50th wedding anniversary
for Sunday, March 11th.
And my dad decided to pass away on Tuesday, March 5th,
his birthday.
Yeah.
The funeral was Saturday and the party.
We still had the party because that's what he'd want.
But so yeah, so anything you'd want to share about the courage
he had and the things, traits about my dad that.
I wish I would have thought about.
So when your dad passed away, and you know this,
I think there was an outpouring from people he'd
mentored, people that he knew well, people that he never,
that he didn't know at all, but the outpouring of these thoughts
and people who shared all these things.
So he was.
He was always, and he was a professor, of course.
I mean, not really.
Actually, he was an adjunct professor at George Mason and UVA.
But he was always trying to educate someone.
Someone would ask him a question and he'd turn around
and ask them a question.
Which I admire now and I see as a positive.
But as a child, and especially in school
and trying to do your homework.
Just give me the answer.
But he'd always stop and listen to people.
He was way before his time with just projecting his thoughts
and case in point is Tyson's Corner.
He did a study in 1980 on what Tyson's Corner should be,
which it is now.
It's like a city and bringing the train to Reston,
and which is ironic because we were on the first ride.
And I think it was two, three months after he passed away.
Something he lived for.
Yeah, but always respectful to other people.
I can't think of anything else.
He was always involved.
He was always first to jump in and be involved.
It started in 1966.
Reston Catholic Community and our faith community.
So he was just wanted to be involved with live, play,
live, work, and play.
Absolutely.
And I think it took courage on his health journey
because he had the stroke.
And he lived 13 years later.
He passed away.
He was like, I got things to do.
I'm going to live on the side grass.
And that took courage for you to be patient and be kind
and caring for him because he was not always
the most easy to deal with, especially through his.
Well, now dealing with his limitations.
Yeah.
His left arm was always parallel.
Yeah.
But he didn't give up.
He was abandoned.
As you said, when we left our move from our lake
house to a townhouse, he would walk.
I don't know how far a walk it was longer because he had
walked with a cane to the plaza.
He figured out how to take the bus from the corner where
we lived to the library.
So lots of courage.
And I think he passed on to all of us.
Both of you guys, both of you are courageous.
He was more out in the public doing stuff.
You were behind the scenes making sure everything ran.
And yes, she did work outside the home.
But I don't remember that after growing up.
But I always remember you were the Kool-Aid cookie mom coming
home from school.
But we'd come home from school and she's out with her friend
laying out in the sun.
But she had cookies made and sitting there.
And always made every event, every thing special.
And you still do.
And you got lots of courage stories.
We could talk all day long.
Probably.
And such a blessing.
And you've passed on so many amazing things to me,
to other my siblings.
Lots of courage.
So how would you encourage somebody else to be courageous?
Well, actually, I think a lot of it
is you don't think when you do it that you're
doing something courageous.
You just kind of step up to the plate, so to speak.
And I know the last year before your dad died.
I got to bed at night.
And thank God I had energy to get through the day.
And the next morning I say, thank God.
Or ask God to give me energy to get through another day.
So as I said, it's just things that you
may be doing day to day that you don't realize how much courage
it's to be.
Sometimes I always say it's about getting out of bed
some days and doing the next thing.
And especially caring for Amanda.
And life happens.
And we just have to look at it a positive way
and have the courage to say, OK, I
don't know why God is placing this in our path,
but we're going to figure it out.
Well, Amanda is a case in point.
Perfect example, not knowing what we had ahead of us.
But dad, she was maybe a month old when he already
had her signed up to go to Fairfax, which I drove her
two times a week.
But for a day time, I developed my classes.
But there are so many people throughout our lives
that we wouldn't have known, wouldn't have connected
if it wasn't for Amanda.
Absolutely.
Yes, she is definitely a joy.
And I think she's got the best courage attitude of anybody.
And she just does the things and lives her life
and looks at the bright side.
And we laugh about this now.
And you probably don't remember this.
But the dad passed away and I came in.
It was late at night and I came in.
And it was pretty chaotic.
The police were here and the priest was here
and we're all a little hysterical.
And I walk in Amanda in Amanda fashion and goes, my dad died.
Can I have a cell phone?
Was it a cell phone or a TV?
One of the TV, too, but the cell phone.
She wasn't quite so brave because then she just, yeah,
she fell apart.
But she's brave because she lets her feelings out.
And most of us hold them back and we're
aren't courageous enough to say, I feel rotten and this sucks.
And I don't like it, but she does.
I'm sad.
You know, she talks about her dad.
Yeah, she did this morning, she said.
Because every day she reminds me,
Leslie's birthday is Friday the first.
Dad's birthday is next whatever.
As we're recording this, we're recording at the end of February
and we'll come out beginning of March.
And in between there, I have one of those milestone birthdays,
which we're not going to talk about.
Can't believe it.
But doesn't she look good?
Or if you're watching this live.
So thank you for doing this.
I know it was out of your comfort zone.
It took a little courage.
But you twisted me.
I did.
And I just said, present me with why not today.
Why not today?
It's a conversation.
So thank you, everybody, that has followed and watched
and listened to the My Not Say podcast for two years, which
is crazy to think.
It started with an idea and then grew into this.
And who knows where it's going to go.
So thank you for joining us and for sharing
your inspiring story, mom.
Remember, every day is an opportunity to take action.
Choose your dreams and make a difference.
So why not today?
You can subscribe to the Why Not Today podcast
on any podcast channel, share it, keep pushing forward,
make sure you're saying why not today.
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And starting next week, we will have an official Why Not
Today newsletter.
So until next time, stay motivated.
Keep making things happen and say why not today.
So thanks, mom.
You're welcome.