1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,480 Hello, my name is Leslie Cain and I'm the host of the Why Not Today podcast. 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:11,240 This is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, why not today? 3 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:16,080 I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often did say, why not today? 4 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:20,480 I'm based in Reston, Virginia, a planned community right outside of Washington, D.C., and thanks 5 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,480 for joining us today. 6 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,200 So I'm excited to have my guest today, who I've known of for years, but didn't get to 7 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:30,520 know her until recently, and been watching what she's been doing, doing some new stuff 8 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:31,520 on social media. 9 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,120 So Amy Kemp is my guest today. 10 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,560 And I've just been watching, seeing her and what she's been doing. 11 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,760 And I reached out to her and she has a book coming out, which we're going to talk about. 12 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,960 And so reached out to her and just so impressed with how she evolved and the courage it took 13 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,920 to kind of recreate yourself. 14 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:52,240 And I'm finding a lot of people doing the, and then something, adding something. 15 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:53,400 And you definitely did that. 16 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:58,120 So and have a book coming out on February 29th, which I know you can pre-order now. 17 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:04,760 So I'm super excited to hear your courage stories and have you share just as we approach 18 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:12,720 the new year and just talking about how we can love ourselves and see, be seen. 19 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:17,120 So Amy Kemp, introduce yourself with a fun fact and then we'll get into courage. 20 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,120 Yeah. 21 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,520 Well, first of all, thank you for having me. 22 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:24,800 I'm applauding your courage in creating something like this. 23 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:32,840 I think anytime we actually put that idea into motion or take action on it, this podcast 24 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,440 was, I'm sure, an idea before it was reality. 25 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:36,440 Well, absolutely. 26 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,440 Signifies the presence of courage. 27 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,120 There's no way to do it without. 28 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:48,200 So I applied your steps to do that and to serve people in this space. 29 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,600 Quick story. 30 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:53,760 I live an hour south of Chicago. 31 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,920 I love the strategy of building businesses. 32 00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,640 I love all things about business. 33 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:09,320 I find it to be a very creative, energizing, exciting space, having an idea or a product 34 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:13,360 or a service and bringing it into the world to serve the world. 35 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,640 I am a writer always. 36 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:24,280 I'm an English major and always have loved words and reading and words have changed my 37 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:27,200 life and I think they're very important. 38 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,280 I'm a teacher. 39 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:34,280 Actually my first life was as a teacher, a high school teacher. 40 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:39,920 But I still find myself constantly using those skills and it's a part of who I am. 41 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:46,480 And then I'm also a spaceholder, meaning I create safe spaces for people to grow and 42 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:52,560 learn as a coach where I help them discover what's next on their journey. 43 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:58,680 So I also have three kids and a husband who are awesome and very messy and imperfect. 44 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,560 It is a mad life. 45 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,280 So what's a fun fact about Amy Kemp? 46 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:06,440 Okay. 47 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:12,200 One thing that people are often surprised about is that I love sports talk radio. 48 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,200 Really? 49 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,200 Yes. 50 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:20,240 I will always be listening to some sort of dumb podcast. 51 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,360 I love the Dan Patrick show, for example. 52 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:29,080 And I love listening to, I think it's three men, three old men and something, but that's 53 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,600 JJ Reddick's podcast. 54 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:35,800 But I just love when I'm relaxing and I need to give my brain a break. 55 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,200 It's a fun place for me to. 56 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,200 Okay. 57 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,200 Never would have guessed that. 58 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:44,560 If you lived in the DC area, you'd know there's lots of stuff happening here sports. 59 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,320 It could be a whole show on itself. 60 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:50,480 So yeah, crazy stuff going on. 61 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:55,960 So Amy, what is your definition of courage? 62 00:03:55,960 --> 00:04:01,600 I think it's inviting all the feelings that come up when you're going to engage or embark 63 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,720 on a new journey to just come along with you. 64 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,480 It's not about like, I'm not going to feel all those things. 65 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:15,560 I'm not going to feel the fear and feel the anxiousness and feel the uncertainty and feel 66 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,040 the doubt. 67 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:23,400 It's that I just say, oh, those feelings are there. 68 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,640 Encourage to me is like hop in the car. 69 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,200 We're going. 70 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,200 That's so true. 71 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,840 And that's this whole podcast. 72 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,200 And my word this year is actually brave. 73 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:41,440 I switched a million times became brave because I am working on or putting in place the pieces 74 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:45,760 to really legitimize the podcast, make it into a business and do other things. 75 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,960 And I feel like you got to take that cape and put it on to be brave. 76 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:54,760 And then you just put it on and like, okay, I'm going to do things that I don't, you know, 77 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:59,120 follow through the ideas you have and shy away from them. 78 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:03,200 And some of those feelings are there to make sure you're ready for that thing. 79 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,120 Right. 80 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,440 You can't bring them along. 81 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,840 You're not ready to go. 82 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:07,840 Exactly. 83 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,120 So it's okay. 84 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,960 It just means, okay, I'm not quite ready to move forward on that, but it will be a part 85 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:19,440 of anything you do if you're creating something that doesn't exist currently. 86 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:26,240 So you talked about life one teacher life and now are you on three or four iterations? 87 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:31,800 Talk about your transition to where you are now, how that took courage. 88 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,760 And then let's talk about your book, which I loved, I watched your video like five times 89 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,520 yesterday with you getting your book for the first time. 90 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,720 So that was, and so let's 91 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:45,080 It drives me that moment of opening the box with the book for the first time. 92 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,200 I'm not really very emotional usually. 93 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:54,640 I'm more of a thinker and I'm pretty chill, but that moment really caught me. 94 00:05:54,640 --> 00:06:00,400 So yeah, let's talk about that transition to how you got to where you are and how do 95 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,960 you feel with people? 96 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,680 Yeah, maybe I'm still transitioning a little bit. 97 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:12,080 You know, it's kind of still a process, but I think I had to get really honest. 98 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:21,440 So teacher started a business, grew it for 20 years into a very large business and then 99 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:29,960 started to feel this calling and nudge and whisper and leading to work with women outside 100 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,600 of that business. 101 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:35,400 And it felt really ridiculous. 102 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:40,280 I also had a real financial need in the sense of just we needed to make more money as a 103 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:45,160 family to achieve our financial goals and to pay for our three kids to go to college. 104 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:49,280 And to live where we live, honestly, near Chicago is expensive. 105 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:52,480 So we just needed to increase our income. 106 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,880 So all of these things were sort of swirling at the same time. 107 00:06:55,880 --> 00:07:01,400 It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. 108 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:07,920 I had, because I knew as a leader that my choices would not just affect me, but they 109 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,640 would affect all of the people that followed me. 110 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,320 And I take that so seriously. 111 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:21,400 And so there was a lot of untangling of that and pulling away very slowly from one space 112 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:26,760 as I started to build what is now called EME Kemp Inc., which is six years old. 113 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,160 I just celebrated six years of filming. 114 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,240 And so it was very gradual. 115 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:36,880 It wasn't fast, which is something I would say I've learned about transitions and maybe 116 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,520 courage is that transitions are important. 117 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,160 Sorry, I'm eating my hair. 118 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:51,380 So I'm just whipping my transitions are important because we need what they have for us in the 119 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:53,640 next phase of the journey. 120 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,720 And we want to rush through them because they're really uncomfortable. 121 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:04,960 But if we don't process through all of the things that they have for us, so for example, 122 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:12,120 one of the things I had to let go of was this story that the only way you fail is to quit. 123 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:17,440 This is in chapter one of the book, but that's not really true. 124 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:22,480 And that story had been so repeated to me over and over and over and over again. 125 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,680 And I just had to pull that story out and say, well, wait, maybe I actually do need 126 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:30,600 to quit in order to grow to the next level. 127 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,680 I need to quit waiting for approval from other people. 128 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:40,280 I need to quit giving away areas of natural genius that are worth so much money. 129 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,080 And I'm just giving them away. 130 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:48,400 I need to quit over giving to the people I'm leading so that I have more time and energy 131 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,600 to build this new thing. 132 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,760 There were a lot of things I needed to quit. 133 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:59,360 And some of those quitting affected other people in ways that didn't make them thrilled 134 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:00,820 with my choices either. 135 00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:05,520 So I had to sort of just allow that and have allow them to have their experience with it 136 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,880 as well. 137 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:16,200 I tried to do it as kindly and with as much love as I could and as slowly as I could and 138 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:20,120 just to give people time to process through that. 139 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:25,560 Because leaving an area as a leader, again, anyone who's led people knows that it affects 140 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:26,880 a lot of people. 141 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,720 So I did it very imperfectly. 142 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:34,880 I made some mistakes along the way, but I tried to do it with integrity as much as possible. 143 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,600 So is that? 144 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,600 That's perfect. 145 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:43,400 And I think what I love is the transition, it does take time and it's not immediate. 146 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,720 And it's that stirring in our soul. 147 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:50,840 And I can remember exactly where I was walking with a friend when I first threw out of my 148 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,200 mouth, I want to do a podcast. 149 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,440 No idea. 150 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,760 But I just said it and then it's just kind of evolved. 151 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,280 And I just know that there's ways to touch other people. 152 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:07,760 And I think you are definitely one of those people in my life put in there for a purpose 153 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,960 to help me transition and watching what you're transitioning. 154 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:12,960 And she said it's a journey. 155 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:19,200 Here's the other thing I think that's really important about transitions. 156 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:23,600 The thing you're leaving doesn't have to be bad for it to mean that it's time for you 157 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,280 to go. 158 00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:29,240 So sometimes people assume like, oh, if you're leaving, there must be something wrong or 159 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,240 bad. 160 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,480 But that's not always true. 161 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:37,240 It may just be that it's no longer a fit for you or that there's something new being prepared 162 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,240 for you also. 163 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:44,480 So I had to let go of that also that this wasn't bad just because I was leaving it and 164 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,640 moving into a new space. 165 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:53,000 It just for me, there was something new and that I was being moved to pursue. 166 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:59,480 And so when you pursue something for a long time like you have and I have, it's, I don't 167 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,240 know about you, but I get bored really easily. 168 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,360 And somebody said something to me a couple of years ago. 169 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:08,040 I said, it's really hard to get excited about something you've already accomplished. 170 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,320 Oh, yeah, to do it again. 171 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:12,480 Like the first time it's really exciting. 172 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:17,240 But then after you've done it, it's like, it's hard to get excited about it. 173 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:21,080 And so creating new businesses and watching them, like you said, the excitement of just 174 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:27,480 watching it grow and, and, you know, your business, the book, my podcast, where this 175 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,480 is going. 176 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,480 And it's something we're creating on our own. 177 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:31,480 Yeah. 178 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,480 Not following a cookie cutter. 179 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,480 I mean, although you we can. 180 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,480 Awesome and terrifying. 181 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,480 Absolutely. 182 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,480 Yes. 183 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:44,480 I put off starting an LLC until I did it January 2nd. 184 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,480 I'm like, this is going to be my first brave move. 185 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:47,480 I love it. 186 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:48,480 Yeah. 187 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:49,480 Cool. 188 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:54,880 So let's talk about the conversation you had with the woman after networking event and 189 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:59,280 how that evolved into your coaching and especially the title of your book. 190 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:00,280 Yeah. 191 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,520 Let's talk about how we can be there for other people. 192 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,880 I just mentioned to you when we started, my sister recommended a book. 193 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,800 She's in actually commercial real estate and she recommended a book called unreasonable 194 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:10,800 hospitality. 195 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,980 And at first I'm like, well, I'm not in the hospitality business, but we all are. 196 00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:18,800 And making people feel special and seen and giving that experience. 197 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:23,640 And I think that's what you were able to do and continuing to do. 198 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,360 And I love the thing you said, holding space for people. 199 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:27,360 Yeah. 200 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:33,560 Well, first, I think it's important to know that this book was written for someone and 201 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:36,200 not about something. 202 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:43,960 My reader is a woman who has done some stuff. 203 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,320 She's accomplished some things. 204 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:50,640 She's not just starting out on the journey, but she's reached a point in her journey where 205 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,520 she can't work any harder or any more. 206 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:59,840 And yet she longs for more income, impact and influence. 207 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:06,680 And that woman doesn't need five quick tips or she's not. 208 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:12,360 So I'll tell the story because it's one of my favorite stories that inspired the title 209 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,120 of the book. 210 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:22,400 But that really encapsulates the whole energy around my business and how I want people to 211 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,760 feel in my presence. 212 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:30,640 So I met someone briefly, her mutual friend at a networking event, just a community event. 213 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:34,800 And I really was intrigued and I was like, oh, I'd love to meet your sign. 214 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,800 I invited her to meet me for a cup of coffee. 215 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,360 And she's very accomplished. 216 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:44,040 She's at some tables in our community where really important decisions are made. 217 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:49,560 She has a busy family from the outside looking and she has it all together. 218 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:54,560 And she's a leader in her place of work. 219 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:58,800 And so we sat down and for about an hour I just asked her questions. 220 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:02,040 I just wanted to know her story. 221 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:07,520 And toward the end of the conversation, she looked up at me kind of brusquely and she 222 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:12,440 said, why did you invite me for coffee? 223 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:16,320 And with that, I just came out of me. 224 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:22,040 But I just said, because I see you. 225 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:26,560 And then there was like a long pause and she put her head down and she just wept. 226 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:27,560 Wow. 227 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,760 We're like a long time. 228 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,600 Well, at least it felt like in my end, you know. 229 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:39,440 But I just let her cry and then she sat up and she like wept her eyes and she said, thank 230 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,680 you so few people do. 231 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,800 You know, and that's so true. 232 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:50,080 And as leaders, there was actually somebody shared an article that was written in I think 233 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:54,760 Wall Street Journal or Washington Post or something about a sports, go back to your sports analogy, 234 00:14:54,760 --> 00:15:00,080 a sports team owner and during COVID he said, you know, leaders and people that are strong 235 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:05,840 and look like they got it all together and nobody asks, are you okay? 236 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:13,040 And you know, when you are a leader, you don't get asked that question and you aren't seen. 237 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:19,560 And I know some powerful people and they look like they got it all going on and you get 238 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:25,840 behind pulled behind the curtain today and it's like, wow, you know, you think and you 239 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:29,920 know, those powerful people, I don't know about you, but they can be sometimes intimidating. 240 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,480 Like will they even talk to me? 241 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:39,840 And you know, but nobody's talking to them because, oh, I was watching the Brook Shields. 242 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,760 There was a Brook Shields show on the other day. 243 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:42,760 Did you see that? 244 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,760 No, but I love it. 245 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:49,160 It was three hours, I think on Brook Shields. 246 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:54,720 And what she and I didn't know her whole story, but she went to Princeton. 247 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,800 And this is after, you know, her acting career and she went to college and they were shocked 248 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,920 that they didn't think she had any brains to get in there. 249 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:07,040 But she said, people were so hands off because they want to give her a space because who 250 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,720 she was. 251 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:13,520 And she goes, I was so lonely and I was so starving for a friend. 252 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,480 She goes, but nobody would come near me because of who I was and I didn't think I would talk 253 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,480 to them. 254 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,480 Yeah. 255 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:20,480 But yeah. 256 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:25,680 And if you think about it as a leader, let's say you're a woman who has worked your way 257 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:30,640 up into the leadership ranks of a company and maybe you have a family or not. 258 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,480 It doesn't even really matter, but let's say you're at those tables. 259 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:37,640 It's not appropriate for you to be friends with the people you're leading. 260 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,200 So you can't be friends there, right? 261 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:44,040 And then you go home and you're leading at home because you're taking care of everything 262 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:48,040 there, whether you have aging parents or you have small children or medium children or 263 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,280 whatever, right? 264 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:54,200 So then you're leading there and there's just not a lot of time and there's not a lot of 265 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,880 people who are seeing you. 266 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,800 So I do think, I think it's a warning. 267 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:07,120 I always say to people, if you're in that space where no one is holding space for you 268 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:14,240 and no one really knows how you're doing, there should be red flags that are saying, 269 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:19,360 danger, danger, danger, because we do not make great decisions when we don't have safe 270 00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:27,240 spaces, when we can't say to someone, whether it be a coach or a therapist or whatever, 271 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:34,720 you've got to have places in your life where someone is hearing the raw version or else 272 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:42,120 we just tend to make not great choices and we tend to start to cope and escape and pick 273 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,120 your poison. 274 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,680 It doesn't matter what you're doing. 275 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,400 It just tends to lead to not great outcomes. 276 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,880 Yes, so agree. 277 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:49,880 Yeah. 278 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:54,680 So your book is coming out and you got your hands on it yesterday for the first time. 279 00:17:54,680 --> 00:18:00,200 By the time the podcast will launch or drop, as I say, there's lots of pre-orders. 280 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,160 So let's talk about what you talked about. 281 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:09,240 The book is for someone and not about something. 282 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,760 And so let's talk about some of the messages. 283 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,120 I know you sent me a couple chapters and I was like, that was such a tease. 284 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:20,880 I'm like, I want the whole book, which I know you said it's on its way. 285 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,040 But yeah, let's talk about some of the chapters, some of the things that you and I talked about 286 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:30,520 before about the under-earning and about the money and, you know, you want to talk about 287 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:31,520 money? 288 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:32,520 I love to talk about money. 289 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,000 Talk about money. 290 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000 Okay. 291 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:44,560 Women have such a checkered relationship with money and we haven't been taught a lot about 292 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:48,800 it and we have often undersold ourselves. 293 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:53,280 We also do the vast share of unpaid labor in our economy. 294 00:18:53,280 --> 00:19:02,560 So a lot of our energy is taken up doing that, that this is gender stereotyping, but that 295 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:08,480 a lot of men have the freedom to go to the before and after work meetings and network 296 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:15,040 and they have someone taking care of all of the unpaid labor in their home. 297 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,040 Right. 298 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:22,920 And so sometimes we blame that lack of progress financially on our lack of skill. 299 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:28,400 I find more often than not, it's because of the amount of time we spend doing unpaid labor. 300 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,200 No, true. 301 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,560 We'll volunteer for everything. 302 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:40,960 Yeah, we also do all of the gift buying, all of the appointment making, all of the, even 303 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:47,520 if it's not cleaning, but like the household maintenance, food prep. 304 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,960 There's actually a survey in the book where you get to count how many hours a week of 305 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:56,640 unpaid labor you do and it's eye-opening. 306 00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:00,240 It's interesting and interesting dynamics. 307 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,880 Maybe I'm not married, I don't have kids, but I'm one of six kids and the youngest sister 308 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,120 has Down syndrome. 309 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:11,000 My dad's passed away and my mom is 82, so she needs some support here and there. 310 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:16,760 She will call me in a second to help her or my other sister, but would never call my brothers 311 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,600 in the middle of the day to ask them a question like they're working. 312 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,640 Like, well, what am I doing? 313 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,240 You know, and they're getting paid when they don't work. 314 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:29,960 I don't get paid, you know, but she goes to myself and my sister to ask all those questions 315 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,120 and never would think about calling my brothers. 316 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,120 Absolutely. 317 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,360 Or we would often have this happen in our house too. 318 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,200 You have a sick kid, right? 319 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:46,400 Well, if I'm an entrepreneur who works from home, then, oh, I, but we, I would, I always 320 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,080 would say, no, we are alternating days. 321 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:53,640 Like, I get, I will stay home for the day and take the day off work, but then tomorrow 322 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,240 you're taking the day off work. 323 00:20:55,240 --> 00:21:01,160 And I ran into that when my sister was in the hospital one time, my brother is like, 324 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:05,120 well, I can't spend the night at the hospital because I have to go to work tomorrow. 325 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,560 I'm like, and what do I have to do? 326 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:08,560 You know? 327 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:09,560 Yes. 328 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:14,640 So there's that element of this question, but even bigger is that money is such a great 329 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:24,920 mirror for us in examining and really exploring what we believe we're worth. 330 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:31,400 And one of the hardest truths to grapple with is that we are getting paid what subconsciously 331 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:36,560 we believe we're worth. 332 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:42,880 And there's all of this pushback that comes up when I even say that sometimes to people, 333 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:47,280 you know, I have this job and I have to have this and I get it. 334 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,760 I'm not. 335 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:55,000 What I'm saying is in the end, the only way to earn more is to grow yourself and believe 336 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,120 that you're worth more. 337 00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:01,440 And most of the time it doesn't require more work. 338 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:06,480 Most of the time the next level of income depends on you doing less, but showing up 339 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:11,880 in spaces as more thinking of yourself differently. 340 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,480 We want it to be all external. 341 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,640 Like, well, I need to get this degree or I need to pursue this. 342 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:24,040 And there are some actions that will happen, but it's more about what do you believe you 343 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,040 are worth. 344 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,520 And here's the tricky part. 345 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:31,840 The parts of us that are areas of natural genius, we tend to undervalue because they 346 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,520 feel so easy to us. 347 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:35,520 Yeah. 348 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:40,160 They feel like, well, anyone could do that. 349 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:46,880 And so we don't recognize, oh my goodness, that's actually worth a lot of money. 350 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:52,840 After we talked the other day about that, I've been paying attention to that when people 351 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,880 are like, oh, how do you do that? 352 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,640 And I'm like, that's, and I'm like, oh my gosh, that's so easy. 353 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:04,320 But in the book, I say, pay attention to the thing that feels easy to you, but astonishes 354 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,520 everyone else. 355 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,520 So I'll give you an example. 356 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:14,240 One thing I always have been good at in as a teacher in my first business and then is 357 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,800 facilitating small group conversations. 358 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,960 Always I did that in my classroom. 359 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:23,000 I did that always with my business. 360 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,440 I thought like, oh, that's so everyone could do that. 361 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:27,440 Right. 362 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:32,000 Where I'm digging deep with people, pulling people into the conversation, getting everyone 363 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,480 involved, you know, and just facilitating. 364 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:38,400 Well, I learned no one really can do that very well. 365 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:43,280 And it's exceptionally valuable in our marketplace. 366 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:49,120 It is rare, therefore is valuable. 367 00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:57,160 And I can take that gift and use it as a part of my business, which I do with my small group 368 00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:01,280 coaching and earn a lot of money for it. 369 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,800 And for me, I would do it for free. 370 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,120 It's so fun. 371 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:06,960 It's so life-giving to me. 372 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,560 Again, I do it. 373 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,200 If I go out to you with friends, I do it. 374 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,160 I do it even when I'm not, you know, I just do it. 375 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,600 It's just who I am. 376 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:15,600 Exactly. 377 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:16,600 Yeah. 378 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:20,720 One of those things we just do and people like, you don't think it's anything special. 379 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:25,920 Somebody said, I don't know if you said this or somebody, somebody I read, it's like when 380 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:30,000 people think it's magical what you're doing and you're like, oh my gosh, it's so easy. 381 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,880 Like gathering people, putting on an event. 382 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:33,880 Yeah. 383 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:34,880 Yeah. 384 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,000 But here's where I had to grow. 385 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:47,480 I'm still growing every day is when you start to have to put a price tag on that, you get 386 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,680 to encounter all of your unhealthy habits of thinking. 387 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:55,960 You get to really, it brings everything up to the surface where it's like, wait a second, 388 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,240 I've been doing that for free for so long. 389 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,120 No one's ever paid me for that. 390 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,640 How could I ever charge someone for that? 391 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,400 Would someone pay for that? 392 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,840 How much would they pay for that? 393 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,960 What are people going to say about me if I charge for that? 394 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:12,120 I mean, all, that's all what I would put in quotation marks is noise. 395 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:13,120 Right. 396 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:22,880 Come to the surface to either be healed, to be acknowledged, to be heard, to be surrendered. 397 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:28,240 You know, you get to encounter it though. 398 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:35,040 But every step of the way, the growth of my earnings has required more letting go than 399 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,680 doing. 400 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:43,800 It's required more expansive thinking than actual hours. 401 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:49,040 It's required more of a connection to source or God, whatever you call it. 402 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:54,920 But to me, like more of an openness to be a vessel through which that energy can flow 403 00:25:54,920 --> 00:26:01,080 out into the world and clearing out the blockage, then it has been about me strategically figuring 404 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:02,680 something out. 405 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:06,120 Now when that flow happens through me, I'm super strategic. 406 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:10,320 I love energy, but that's not me figuring it out. 407 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:15,120 That's just me responding and allowing and growing and like expanding. 408 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:16,120 Yeah. 409 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:23,200 And as you're in that creative space and creating new stuff, it does take being quiet. 410 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:27,760 I am the other night, I couldn't sleep and all of a sudden I was like came up with these 411 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,720 grand ideas and I'm like, oh my gosh, they're right here. 412 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:34,200 But it took being quiet and not being able to sleep. 413 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:40,040 And I literally got up and took notes and I'm like, all right, this is where we're going. 414 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:44,520 But it was ideas and it was meetings and it was brainstorming and it just was kind of 415 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:45,520 marinating. 416 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,120 And then, yeah, yeah. 417 00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:55,520 Thinking of courage, that's scary because sometimes we've created such a hamster wheel 418 00:26:55,520 --> 00:27:00,040 of doing to keep up with our lifestyle. 419 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:05,160 So to stop or to like show up differently or to pull away from some of that stuff, to 420 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:11,160 say no to some of that for me meant I'm not going to be making income from there then. 421 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:17,960 And so I've got to let that go, make space for something new before the new shows up. 422 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:25,320 There was a moment, there was a gap of like, where you're like, yeah, what am I doing? 423 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:34,200 However, I would not have been able to create the new thing holding onto those old mindsets. 424 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:39,360 The other piece about money is that we give it, we give so much of our power away to it 425 00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:43,000 to make us feel a certain way. 426 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:52,880 So when I earn this much, then I will be happy or I will be safe or I will be fulfilled. 427 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:58,440 When I, I'll give you a really a concrete example because they just, the painter just 428 00:27:58,440 --> 00:27:59,440 came yesterday. 429 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:07,280 I want, I've been wanting to redo our master bedroom and I kept putting it off, putting 430 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,280 it off, putting it on. 431 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,560 And then I was like, why do I want this? 432 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:14,640 What do, what do I think this is going to give me? 433 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:22,800 And when I think about it, I think, oh, it's like an inviting, warm, cool space that I'm 434 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:29,840 proud of that I want to create that is beautiful and representative of our life and our love 435 00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:30,840 for each other. 436 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,480 And, you know, I wanted to create this feeling with this room. 437 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:35,480 Right. 438 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:39,920 Well, if I head into my day with that feeling already there before I have the money to pay 439 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:45,720 for it, I'm going to create the money way faster than if I'm thinking I got to create 440 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,240 the money to get this thing I want. 441 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:49,240 Right. 442 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:50,560 So I can have that feeling. 443 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:51,560 Yeah. 444 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,200 I can access the feeling now. 445 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,680 I can feel warm and excited and proud and energizing. 446 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:56,680 Right. 447 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,920 I can access that right where I am. 448 00:28:58,920 --> 00:28:59,920 Move into my day. 449 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:03,760 I am much more likely to generate the income I need to pay for it. 450 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:04,760 Right. 451 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,200 Than the other way around. 452 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:12,320 But we're constantly giving our power away to money to allow us to feel a certain way. 453 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,320 Yeah. 454 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:14,320 Yeah. 455 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:19,840 And just I'll give you an example of painting the wall, the room and how it can shift your 456 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:21,320 energy, do it. 457 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:26,040 The wall behind me, as people are watching on YouTube, was a bright pink wall. 458 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,040 And that's not my favorite color. 459 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,040 And I didn't like it. 460 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,840 I had it for meetings and things. 461 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:35,640 And last year I took the time to paint the wall, the color, to match everything else. 462 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:42,200 And I was like, oh my gosh, what energy and freedom that gave me to just, you know, I 463 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,560 would, I told somebody I'm like every night I put all the clutter away and it just gave 464 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,640 me so much more peace. 465 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:52,960 And sometimes we need to spend the time doing those little things that are going to open 466 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,160 us up to more. 467 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:55,160 Yeah. 468 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,360 And our physical spaces are a representation of our inner world too. 469 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:02,120 I also love your blue because it's like the branding of all my business and my book. 470 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,120 So branding. 471 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,560 It's more of a teal. 472 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:11,680 But yeah, from my watch to my earrings, that's all the why not today look. 473 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:16,440 And it's, you know, and those kind of things, it just, I noticed it does. 474 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:22,080 And I noticed something you posted with the blue, you're a ball pit, it looked like, or 475 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,080 something. 476 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:27,080 Yeah, we went to New York and they had the color factory had my color blue, like this 477 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,480 whole room full of these balls that you could jump in. 478 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:35,200 Yeah, so surrounding yourself with that, those colors and energy does make a difference. 479 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:42,880 So is there another chapter or something you want to share your love or your favorite? 480 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:51,760 Yeah, I think one thing that I am most proud of in this book is the chapter on structure, 481 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:52,840 which is toward the end. 482 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,840 It's called surrender to structure. 483 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:55,840 Okay. 484 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,960 There are a lot of areas in our life where we know that embracing structure would benefit 485 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:07,640 us with a budget, with our health, with basically all of the things you set New Year's resolutions 486 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:13,360 about are they revolve around structure. 487 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:20,480 And what I have learned about structure is that powering through and trying to discipline 488 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:26,640 yourself to embrace structure, particularly in an area where you've had a lot of failure 489 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:35,720 or a lot of times recommitting to it is futile and not beneficial. 490 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:40,000 What I've discovered is that if you, you know, you're walking on the beach, sometimes you 491 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:46,360 see the people with the metal detectors and they're scanning the sand. 492 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:53,280 I love when in my coaching with a client, I encounter a space where they're not resisting 493 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,480 or where they are resisting structure. 494 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,360 They know it would benefit them. 495 00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,160 They know it would benefit them to make a to-do list in the morning before they get started 496 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,120 on their day, but they just don't do it. 497 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:10,560 They know it would benefit them to start setting aside money for savings every month, but they 498 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:11,680 just don't do it. 499 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:17,920 It's like that thing where you know, it's you know, but you're just not doing it. 500 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:22,720 If you can imagine that person walking along the beach, when you run into the place where 501 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:29,600 you are resisting structure, if you will stop and dig down deep right there, there is almost 502 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:34,600 always unhealed pain. 503 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:39,800 Almost I actually can't think of one instance with a client where there hasn't been. 504 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:44,000 And for women, that tends to be a lot around our bodies. 505 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:48,560 We have a lot of unhealed pain as that pertains to our bodies. 506 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:53,200 We will resist structure that takes care of them because we have messaging about putting 507 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,080 ourselves first being selfish. 508 00:32:56,080 --> 00:33:03,280 We have messaging about what shape our body should be and you know, what is good and bad 509 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,120 for that shape. 510 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:10,160 We have a lot of experiences with our bodies that weren't positive. 511 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:17,120 So a lot of times we will resist structure in places that would aid or make our bodies 512 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,560 be more healthy. 513 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:23,080 Mine in the book, the story that I share in the book is around money. 514 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:28,960 So you'll have to read the story, but it is about me resisting a structure with money 515 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,520 that I knew would serve my business. 516 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:36,640 I knew that if I implemented this structure, everything would flow better. 517 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,120 I would make more. 518 00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:40,280 The business would be more healthy. 519 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:45,840 And yet I was not doing it. 520 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,680 And so I had read this book about this structure. 521 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:56,320 I actually emailed the author and said, I'm not sure that this is the correct way to do 522 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:57,320 this. 523 00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,920 I was in such resistance to this structure. 524 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:08,160 And what I learned with the help of a coach is that underneath that was a bunch of unhealed 525 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,760 pain around money. 526 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:18,200 As soon as we together acknowledged that and I worked through it and really felt the pain 527 00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:26,080 of it and then was able to just feel it and let it go, I within a day had embraced and 528 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,320 gotten the whole thing set up. 529 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,960 There was no external resistance. 530 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:36,880 It was all about me healing this part of me. 531 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:43,520 And so that's probably the chapter I'm praying that people get to because I'm most proud of 532 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:44,520 it. 533 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:49,080 It is the most tender and vulnerable without question, but it's also, I feel like the most 534 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,080 important. 535 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,360 I'm going to read that one first. 536 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,480 All right. 537 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:57,680 So how would you encourage somebody else to be courageous? 538 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:03,440 I know we've talked about a lot of different things, but anything specific? 539 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:14,120 I think if particularly if you're a woman, to take conscious, concrete action to prioritize 540 00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:26,760 investing in you, whether that be joining the yoga studio or hiring the babysitter or 541 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:35,600 taking the webinar or whatever is in front of you that feels like, ooh, this is just 542 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:40,280 about me investing in me, I would encourage that. 543 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:47,440 Whatever that is, I think that's where your next best step is because if you grow you, 544 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,560 the rest of it tends to take care of itself. 545 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:51,840 Yeah. 546 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,880 And keep your cup filled. 547 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,480 That is such a powerful thing and we put ourselves last. 548 00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:02,640 And I did this several years ago and then 2019, I started again, I called it my toes 549 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:07,280 in the sand tour and I'm a beach girl and I like the beach, but you know, you own your 550 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,600 own business, we can work 24 seven. 551 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:15,760 And so I was, and started in 2019, intentional and deliberate about going somewhere every 552 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:20,840 month on vacation and just taking a few days off to put my toes in the sand. 553 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,960 And if it wasn't scheduled, I would like, there was one time I went one night and came 554 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,440 back the next day, but I was intentional. 555 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:32,160 And then when COVID happened and I started traveling more with just because I could work 556 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:36,640 anywhere, it became, I traveled all the time, like I was gone 50% of the time, but I was 557 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,040 working all that time. 558 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,240 I never was off. 559 00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:42,200 So I decided at the beginning of the year, I'm going to start that again. 560 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,120 Last weekend I went to the beach and I was thinking, there's so many things I need to 561 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,720 do, but I'm like, I need to fill my cup. 562 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:53,920 And I came back just the time in the car, walking on the beach, just watching a movie, 563 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,720 even though it was rainy, it's like, who cares? 564 00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:57,720 It's guilt free. 565 00:36:57,720 --> 00:36:58,720 Exactly. 566 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,680 So we need to do all those things. 567 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:01,680 So love it. 568 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:07,160 So I always try to, when I interview anybody, connect it back to my dad because he is who 569 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,960 I honor with doing this podcast. 570 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:13,680 And you know, people are like, well, I never met your dad, which obviously you didn't. 571 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,160 But so I was trying to, as we talk different stories. 572 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,480 And I think I'm going to relate the Chicago. 573 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,440 And this actually goes back to the money thing. 574 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:27,000 So first of all, my dad had a pivot in his life when the logo for the podcast is his, 575 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:31,640 we call it flat pat, his name was Pat, but he had an iPad and a handlebar mustache. 576 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:35,680 And he had the iPad because he got in a major car accident when he was in high school the 577 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:36,920 night he graduated. 578 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:40,320 And so he had to pivot and he was supposed to play football and he lived in California, 579 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:44,960 I think for USC, but because of being in the hospital a month, he couldn't. 580 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:50,200 And so this is so funny that today and he, he would be like, what? 581 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,560 His grandfather lived in the Cleveland area. 582 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:58,880 So my grand, my grandfather put my dad on a train and sent him to Notre Dame to go to 583 00:37:58,880 --> 00:37:59,880 college. 584 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,720 You know, just like, okay, go to Notre Dame instead. 585 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:05,120 Like, how would that possibly happen today? 586 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,080 But one time, and this made me so mad, my brother got in trouble. 587 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:09,680 I don't even remember what he did. 588 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,840 But my dad's punishment was to take him to a Notre Dame football game. 589 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,880 I'm like, how is that punishment? 590 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:20,880 Well, they flew into Chicago and he drove them through all the bad parts of Chicago. 591 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:25,040 And then he took them to Notre Dame to a football game because you get to choose. 592 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,400 It's crossroads in your life. 593 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,120 Like what are you going to do? 594 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,080 And he's very successful and chose the right path. 595 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,520 But so the Chicago connection was the biggest thing. 596 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,080 We're talking about money. 597 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:41,600 So well, I can't wait to get my hands on your book and we're going to share all the contact 598 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,400 information, the show notes, how to find you. 599 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,120 What is the best place that you like people to find you? 600 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:52,000 Yeah, amykemp.com is my website and the easiest place to find out all about the book. 601 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:56,680 Of course, Instagram and Facebook also are at Amy Kemp Inc. 602 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,440 You can find me there as well. 603 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:00,120 But my website's fun. 604 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,600 You can toggle around to a bunch of different things. 605 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:06,480 My blog, you can take the Habit Finder Assessment, you can read all about the book. 606 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:07,760 There's a trailer about the book. 607 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,480 It's fun stuff on there. 608 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,600 And then the book is coming out February 29th. 609 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:12,600 Yes. 610 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:16,160 I love that such a great order, which is super exciting. 611 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,320 People can actually order it now, which is great. 612 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,320 And the article will be up as well. 613 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:21,320 I recorded the audible. 614 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,440 So if you're a listener, you'll get tizzy in my voice. 615 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,680 I love February 29th because that's a magical day. 616 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,200 It's the extra day of the year. 617 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,480 Every four years. 618 00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:34,800 So yeah, well, thank you for being a guest and lots of good tidbits here. 619 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:41,080 And if you're listening to the podcast, make sure you go review the podcast, like it, share 620 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:45,360 it with friends, and we are going to a weekly episode now. 621 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:46,800 So lots of fun things going on. 622 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,720 Of course, I do have the why not today swag. 623 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:52,640 If you remember, remind you, just like life is good, why not today? 624 00:39:52,640 --> 00:40:00,040 With t-shirts and cups and stickers to remind you to be brave and be courageous every day. 625 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:01,040 So thanks again, Amy. 626 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,520 And thank you everybody for listening. 627 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:13,240 And remember, say why not today?