Hello, my name is Leslie Kane and I'm the host of the Why Not Today podcast.
This is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, why not today?
I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Kane, who often did say, why not today?
I'm based in Reston, Virginia, a planned community right outside of Washington, DC, and thanks
for joining us today.
And so my guest today, Stacey Abella, is from Texas.
And I always talk about where we connected.
And through the process of the podcast, I've actually been watching social media and watching
what people say and just stalking people and looking for people as guests.
And although Stacey and I do have a mutual friend that you went to college with, I don't
know, you're not in the area because so I don't know how we connected, but I saw your
story and your book and reached out to her and she checked out the podcast and is a guest
here today.
We talked the other day.
And when we were talking about it, she goes, oh, my sister-in-law lives in Reston.
And she told me her name and I'm like, is she a dentist?
She's like, she is.
Well, she is not my dentist, but my sister and my mother and was my father's dentist,
my other sister.
Like my whole family's gone to her and love her and like almost family.
I always talk about going to the beach and here at Stacey's sister-in-law and she's
in Texas.
Like that's a small world.
That's a God wink and that is just meant to be, that we're supposed to be connected.
So I'm excited to have you, Stacey.
So why don't you introduce yourself and just a quick bio and a fun fact, fun fact about
you that nobody might know.
Yeah.
So thank you, Leslie.
I'm so excited for our conversation.
I just love our connection that we have, but you just, you just never know.
You just never know.
You text me back when I told you about the connection.
Something about when you know you're living your life in alignment or true values, then
those things happen.
All the time.
Yep.
All the time.
And that's really my story, my bio is getting back to that alignment with myself because
a fun fact about me is that I started writing and I started journaling when I was seven.
And when I was 11, I wrote a screenplay and my dad, he borrowed this camera, you know,
used to have the old movie camera and a video camera and things.
And he borrowed that and we were down our basements.
I'm from Ohio, right?
We have basements, not in Texas, but in Ohio.
We have basements.
And so I invited some friends over and I had them act out my screenplay.
Oh, wow.
And of course, you know, it didn't really go anywhere, but still.
And I feel like the rest of my life, you know, it just took all these twists and turns, but
it was really about getting back to that authentic self that I knew who I was when I was seven
and when I was 11.
And I knew really more about who I was and what I wanted then than I ended up knowing,
you know, that some several, you know, few decades later.
Right.
Yeah.
That's really one of my my realization.
So my right at this point in my life.
So I've had a corporate career, I was in finance and innovation.
And I then from the, from there now I have my own business.
It's called Wind and Your Sales Consulting.
Which I learned.
And I'm an, I'm a clarity coach.
So I help you get clarity on your life and where you're at and help you to integrate
that into your life.
And so I do some consulting for companies as well.
So I've built a new life around this notion of, of gaining the clarity that you need and
going out and doing it.
Love that.
And I love the name of your book, Secrets from Travel Diaries.
I'm such a travel, I love to travel.
And it's kind of a joke all my friends are like, where the heck is Leslie?
And I love the name of your company.
When Wind and Your Sales, and that's such an awesome name.
And I love to sales.
And so, cool, cool things.
So all right.
So let's start with what is your definition of courage?
So my definition of, definition of courage is to actually go out and get the clarity
on who you are, what you want in your life, what's most important to you.
And then go out and live that.
Go out and integrate that into your life and live that way.
Because what I've found is that's really the answer to everything for you actually going
out and doing what you really want to do.
That's when you get the wind in your sales.
You having the courage to show up as who you are.
That's how you get the wind in your sales.
And it's not about never having any wind or never having any rough seas, right?
But it's being able to maneuver within that because you know certain core truths about
yourself, who you are and what you want your life to be about.
That's so true.
And I think, you know, when you know your core and you know what you're supposed to
be doing, then that's when the magic happens.
And that's when you have the alignment like connecting us.
Yes.
But it requires intention.
Absolutely.
And the month that this podcast episode is coming out is actually January of 2024.
And it is the theme is why not today be intentional.
And that's why I love having you on this month.
And you know, definitely have to be intentional about those things.
Yeah.
It has to be a daily, daily renewing of that intention as well, because I find it's so
easy with all of the distractions, everything going on right now.
And it's not going to change.
It's only going to get more, right?
And so I think that you got to renew it every single day and even periodically throughout
the day to ask yourself, if there's something new coming up, you know, do I do this or
do I do?
Do I not?
And it's all about knowing, okay, does this fit in with the vision that I have for my
life and where I want to go?
So true.
And the last two episodes or in the last two episodes of December, we talked about with
one person about the one word.
And the other, we talked about your intentions.
And Liz, you talked about, you know, what is it's a company that you can get bracelets.
What's it called?
My intent.
And they actually have bracelets.
And I had one made, it says, why not today?
This one.
And she said she had hers last year.
I think it was here, like H-E-R-E.
And so to be present.
And so she wore it on a wrist and it reminded her, like when she was meeting with someone,
she put her hand on a wrist to remind herself to be present.
And so I love that daily reminder that we need to have it in front of us and keep reminding
ourselves.
It's kind of like that thing.
You know, you can start a diet in the middle of a bag of potato chips, like, I'm on a diet,
I'm eating healthy.
And then you've, you know, noticing you're putting food in your mouth.
So and that's my little puppy that wants attention.
So talking about intention.
So Stacy, tell me your courageous journey.
I know you left corporate America, you wrote a book.
So let's talk about the courageous things and how that tied into an intention.
Yes, I feel like I was courageous through a lot of my twenties and the things that I
did and like my book, Secrets for my Travel Diaries, that I wrote.
It's based upon the diaries that I wrote at 21 when I was going off to study abroad.
And I was going that big first step out on your own.
And but, but I feel like there was a point in like my thirties where I began to just
see life.
It was like being on a treadmill, right?
Being a part of the corporate grind.
And I was doing all the things, checking all the boxes, but I wasn't really stepping out
to do what I most wanted to do.
I wasn't, I wasn't really moving forward as much as just doing in this constant cycle
of doing.
And aren't we all so guilty of that, of doing and I think, you know, living in the Northern
Virginia area, we all kind of wear a badge of courage, a badge of honor that says, I'm
busy and I'm doing all these things.
100%.
So it's, it's such a common thing now that, now that I've come out and started talking
about it, I just, it's amazing how this is just so common.
But I think the first big step of courage that I took that was actually in a lot of ways
more significant even at the time than even when I started my company, I left corporate
all the things that happened after, but just based upon where I was at at the time.
So in 2019, I decided to take myself to a weekend workshop.
And I, why it was significant was that I had not invested in myself at all.
In fact, I was always my lowest priority.
It was my, it would be my work, my family oftentimes would get the leftovers of whatever
time that I had.
And then when you think about my own self, gosh, I would get maybe some scraps, right?
Maybe, maybe if I had some time.
And so I had started on a transformation journey, really starting to feel like there
was more to life.
I've got to find something different.
Like I'm, my health was starting to not be so good.
Like what is going on here?
And that was a couple years before.
So started around 2017 or so.
And so I started doing some research and then this weekend workshop came up a couple of
years later.
And I just remember just torturing myself.
Am I going to spend any money on myself?
I'm going to take the time I was traveling overseas quite a bit with work.
So am I going to be away from my family for this time and all this?
And so finally, I just, I just, I knew this was for me.
I knew like, I don't know why I need to go to this, but I know that this is for me.
And so I was, remember that I was at the office and I was at a Starbucks doing like a, like
a one-on-one meeting with, that was down, it was down the street with, with a colleague.
And so I was walking back to the office and finally I just sat on a bench in between the
office and the Starbucks and I just started getting, I got on my phone and I just booked
the workshop.
And immediately I just started feeling better once I did that because it's like, you know,
how you just torture yourself when you finally make a decision.
I'm like, you know, I can't believe I did this, but I'm doing it.
And what was so beautiful that happened from that workshop was that I got some new tools.
So it was Robin, Robin Sharma put it on.
It was the personal mastery academy and he has a book called the 5 a.m. club.
And so what he does is he gives tools on how you can get up early in the morning and do
you know, exercise, reflect and, and, and read, learn.
And so I did, I followed that, that, that regimen, that, that those rituals.
And I began to actually slate some time to do the things I most wanted to do.
And one of those, one major thing was writing.
You know, I told you that when I was seven, I, I, you know, I had those experiences, right?
So it was about reconnecting back to that writing.
And so once I did, then it was like the passion became just resurfaced within me.
I started looking and feeling different and starting moving through the world differently.
And that's actually what then began to start my coaching business because people ask me,
how did you do that?
And so that's when I started to really ask myself that reverse engineering, you know,
take the training and all that and then start my business.
And so it just, things unfolded from there, but it was all about taking that first step
through attending that workshop, being in a different environment, being having some,
additional tools, having a new vision for my life and then going out and, and executing on it.
Which is such a why not today message.
Like you just like, okay, I've just got to do it, you know, and just sat down and do it.
And those signs, we look for it.
My sister just last week got a new puppy.
Her dog unfortunately passed away a couple months ago and she went to a rescue, saw this dog.
And she's like, I'm not sure.
Actually, it is a puppy and it's deaf.
And so she left there with her friend and she's like, you know what, I'm going to pray about it.
I'm going to look for a sign, wait for a sign.
And they went shopping at a craft fair and literally the first stop they went,
there was somebody had a board that says, this is your sign.
Oh, they went to the next place and it said, if you're looking for a sign, this is it.
Sign God.
And her friends like, oh, we're done.
Yeah.
But, you know, but it's making that decision and there's something I've been toying with the coaching program.
And I keep seeing signs and I'm just like, oh, but I'm like, I think as soon as we're done,
I'm going to sign up for it because yes, those signs.
And, and, you know, it's that, should I, should I not?
And, you know, we rarely regret the things we do.
That's right.
That's going to make a difference.
So, yeah, that was definitely a why not today.
And look where it took you to a whole new lifestyle and I assume you left corporate America.
I did.
I did a couple of years ago.
Isn't that so freeing?
Yes.
Yeah.
Why did I not do that?
Well, it's a hard decision.
It's a hard decision to do because the stability is nice.
The steady paychecks are nice and you kind of know, OK, what you're, what you're doing from year to year,
you know, you've got all the hotel points and the, and the airline miles and everything.
But it ultimately, I now get to design my life the way I want to live it.
And I get to have the time that I need for my kids and for my family, which is very important too.
Well, and you can just see when you're talking about it, your smile and your face lights up.
And what a difference.
I mean, I made that leap, Leap in Corporate America 24 years ago, which is hard to believe.
And it was a huge leap of faith that I talk about here a lot as part of the Why Not Today message.
Like, I was like, what's the worst thing that's going to happen is I have to get another job.
And six months after I did quit my job, my dad had a major stroke and I was able to be there and be at the hospital.
I didn't have to ask anybody's permission.
A lot of people I know that are close to my age are looking at retiring and they're like, you're going to retire?
I'm like, no, like I would be so bored.
I'm recreating.
And I think a lot of people are doing that.
Like, what's next?
But the people that are working for somebody else, they're miserable.
And they say the highest percentage of heart attacks happen on Monday morning.
Like rarely do I set an alarm.
Like, you know, I get up when I get up and get to go for a walk with the dog.
And I was helping somebody do something on Saturday.
And I said, oh, I should need to send something.
I'm like, I got packing tape.
I got an office.
I can do all this.
She goes, why don't you want you to work on Saturday?
I'm like, I work probably a little bit every day, but I could take a three hour lunch on Tuesday.
Like, you know, it really doesn't matter what day of the week it is, which half the time I don't know what day of the week it is.
But it doesn't matter.
No. So, so you do you wrote the book, you have your coaching.
Do you do group coaching, individual coaching?
Who would be a good coaching candidate for customer?
Yes, yes, my, my, my market that I typically serve is mid or mid career professionals in the corporate environment who are just feeling like I was those several years ago because I can really resonate with that and really help you to in a very tangible way.
I have a clarity method that I use that really appeals to you to, to, to you who are analytical, right?
That like a basis for it.
And I have a way of being able to take you through a journey that is essentially uses a sailing analogy.
That's all about, you know, you're, you're kind of at you need to eventually you need to leave the port, right?
And you need to be able to pack only what you need and shed what you don't need.
And then go off and, and, and sail in a direction and figure out what that direction is as it becomes a beautiful unfolding.
Yeah, sometimes you need to say yes to things, but also say no to other things.
You don't want to load up your boat too much.
Yeah. So if somebody's listening to this and thinking, that's so me, like what steps would you recommend for them to do some self discovery to see if, okay, what is the next step?
Or what are things?
What are other things I could do?
Yeah, I think it's good to, as a baseline, start getting honest with yourself, you know, and start really thinking, okay, what, what, what do I really want?
Or what, what did I want before all of the shoulds all got layered on and start to really, really, really think about that.
And, and on the last day of my life, what do I want it to be, be about?
What do I want people to say that I did or say about me?
And if you don't, if you can't answer some of those, which I understand, there was a time when I couldn't answer because I was just so busy on that treadmill, then that's when you really know that it's worth the time to really to get some, some intentional clarity time to be able to, to really reflect on those questions.
Because if you don't know where you're going, like, say, any road will take you there, right?
But it is true.
It is true, you're just rolling with the waves, as we say, and when, when, in your cells consulting.
Yeah, and, you know, what is that?
Alison Wonderland quote, like, if you don't know where you're going, you're not going to get there kind of thing.
So I know there's a book that helps you find your career choice.
I wonder if your book or another book helps people with what's next.
You know, the book, have you ever heard what color is your parachute?
Yes.
I think that things like that are very, very helpful.
What I was striving to do through my book, my book is a travel story.
And it also contains all kinds of life lessons that I learned about two thirds of it is written in the voice of myself at 21.
And the third is written and my current voice as a mid career professional.
And so what I wanted to do is bring you just an entertaining travel story where you can go along and feel like you've
been to Europe with the book.
But you also then have this unfolding of an inner journey that it also takes you through.
And I really want you to get a shift in your perspective because it's often just a tiny shift that makes all the difference.
Like I mentioned, I sat on a bench with my phone.
I booked a workshop, right?
And it ended up changing my life.
But because it's not just about the workshop, it's about just that one step that you take that you realize you can take another one and another one.
And then you start to connect more dots and you start to get out there and meet more people, make more connections like you and I did.
And so that's how it happens.
And so I really want to inspire you to see new possibility in your life.
That's awesome.
And I mentioned with this podcast, it's not perfect.
And literally the first recording, I record at three o'clock to post on the next day.
And because I didn't know what I was doing and I was scared, I'm like, OK, I just got to do it.
And sometimes it's just taking that one little step to do it.
And God will unfold the rest of the steps and put you in connection with the people, just like you and I connected it.
And what a perfect time to connect with the intention.
And I love you sharing your story, by the way, that that first episode I just think is just so powerful as as as they all are.
But just I just the fact that you were so vulnerable to say that you just you share your fears and share the things that you were you were feeling and how you got to this point.
I think that helps so many people so much more than just step by step on a thing or something very analytical.
You know, it's right and it doesn't have to be perfect. And, you know, you've just got to take that first step.
And the Why Not Today podcast and brand is evolving to different things that I never in a match.
Million years imagined when I was walking with that friend.
And it's funny, you remember sitting on the bench.
I remember walking with my friend to say, I think I want to do a podcast.
And I remember the day we sat and I told her the Why Not Today story.
And she's like, well, that's the name of your podcast.
And I can remember exactly where I was.
And yeah, those pivotal moments in our life are so powerful.
So well, before we get to encourage how you'd encourage somebody else, we do have sponsors now for the podcast.
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So Stacey, how would you encourage somebody else?
And we've kind of talked about this, but how would you encourage somebody else that's listening today?
They're like, I just have this feeling in my heart and soul.
And how would you encourage them to be courageous and do the things?
Yes, well, I think that we fool ourselves into thinking that someday everything will be all in alignment.
Right? We're going to have all the things.
We're going to have the perfect situation.
We're going to have the courage someday.
But you actually what really happens is you build courage and you build it through action.
So one of the things in my book, I share these little life lessons at the end of each chapter.
And one of the life lessons that I'll just quickly read to you is it says,
radiate confidence to put in motion those first steps and build it as you go.
And that's really what I found because the confidence I've gained is through taking action.
And just thinking about it doesn't really doesn't build courage and confidence because,
you know, you don't have a tangible result that comes from it.
You know, you know, deep down you're still not being true to yourself if you just thought about it and not take an action.
Right. Yeah, we definitely got to take that action and make those steps.
So true. Well, I guess I'm going to have to order that book today and read it and get my life lessons looking forward to it.
So I always try to connect this back to my dad and people in the question when I give the question to people that are like, I didn't know your dad.
Well, so the first connection back to my dad is obviously the dentist, like your sister in law, like how crazy is that?
And I was sharing with Stacy before we started that actually the day my dad passed away was actually his birth was in fact his birthday.
And that's when I started the podcast, which is March 5th.
I was meeting with somebody yesterday and I was she said that was her birthday as well.
She started crying like, wow, all the Godwinks.
But so on his birthday, he actually started his day at the dentist with your sister in law.
How crazy is that?
Now, the dentist had nothing to do with him passing away. We really don't know what happened.
It just it was his time.
But, you know, that's a great connection.
Your sale analogy, he loved sale. He loved the water.
We he was from California, so grew up near the water, but we lived on a lake most of my life.
And his office was the other end of the lake.
So we always tease that he skated there.
He windsurfed there. He swam there and he sailed there and he would be on the sale.
But we've got lots of great pictures of him sailing.
And then when he got out of college, he traveled around Europe just like you.
So lots of cool coincidences or beautiful connections.
And I just and I love the connections with all this.
So well, I'm going to share Stacy's information in the show notes.
Of course, I'm sure you can get your book anywhere you can get books.
And you said there will be an audio soon.
Yes.
And I'll share all her contact information.
Anything else you want to share before we go?
I just want to thank you, Leslie.
I love what you're doing.
And I I'm so pleased to be able to have this conversation with you.
And I love the why not today concept because that is very, very congruent with with with with my book.
You know, I I have, you know, it's the full title is Secrets for my Travel Diaries,
How One Burnt Out Executive Reignited the Adventure Within.
And so that's really what why not today is.
Is it it's about reigniting the adventure with absolutely.
Yeah. So well, thank you for being my guest and sharing your story.
The why not today podcast you can find on all over social media on every place you can listen to a podcast.
Our website is www.whynottaypodcast.com.
If you go to the website, you can sign up for email list,
which I'm going to have some newsletters and some new fun things happening with that.
We do have why not today swag.
We have t-shirts and cups and stickers.
So if you want to remind yourself daily to just be courageous and say why not today with attention.
Yes, exactly.
So thanks, everybody, for listening.
Thanks, Stacy, for sharing your story.
And as I always close, make sure you're saying why not today every day.
And thanks again, Stacy.
You're welcome. Why not today?
Sat.