1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,240 Hello, my name is Leslie Cain. 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,360 I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast. 3 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:10,240 This is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, Why Not Today? 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:14,840 I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often said, Why Not Today? 5 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:18,960 I'm based in Reston, Virginia, a planned community right outside of Washington, D.C., and thanks 6 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,400 for joining us today. 7 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,800 So my guests today, and I always say I'm excited about my guests, but I am really excited about 8 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:28,120 this guest, is Laura Carney, because I did not know her at all. 9 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,560 And I always talk about how we connected, how we met people. 10 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:36,400 And I happened to be in Asheville, North Carolina, on Father's Day for a good friend's birthday 11 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,400 party. 12 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,800 And CBS This Morning came on. 13 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:40,800 My friend had the TV on. 14 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,840 I don't ever watch CBS This Morning. 15 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,160 And it had a story about Laura and her book, which I've got right here. 16 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,680 It's called My Father's List. 17 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,080 And I'm going to let her talk all about it. 18 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:55,160 But basically, her father died unexpectedly, very young. 19 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:59,080 And she found his bucket list and started doing it. 20 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,080 And it just spoke to me. 21 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,560 I read it from cover to cover. 22 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,880 So many coincidences and connections. 23 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:08,080 Like the first chapter was Swim Across the River. 24 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:13,240 And she swam across the French Broad River, which I was in Asheville reading the book. 25 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:18,200 And just in our conversation just now, we already came up with a gazillion other connections, 26 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,920 but just so many different connections. 27 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,000 And so I read the book this summer. 28 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:28,000 And then I reached out to her, I connected with you, Laura, on social media and was kind 29 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,840 of stalking you, watching you. 30 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:33,840 And just one night out of a whim, I'm like, would you be a guest of my podcast? 31 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:34,840 And you said, yes. 32 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:39,640 I'm like, yeah, I'm so excited to hear about you, your book, your courage. 33 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:44,520 I have, I mentioned, been reading the book again and kind of in different eyes because 34 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:48,800 I lost a close friend this summer, very unexpectedly, kind of like your dad. 35 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,280 And so reading it a different way. 36 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,360 And it just talks. 37 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,760 I pulled it out last night, some of my highlights. 38 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:59,320 And it talks a lot about bravery and courage and doing the things and living your life. 39 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:03,000 And that's really what the Why Not Today podcast is about and the theme is, we got to live 40 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,960 our life and say why not today and do the little things. 41 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,360 And I think you did that a lot with the bucket list. 42 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,960 So I'm really excited to have you on. 43 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:14,560 So Laura, why don't you quickly introduce yourself, a little background of you and a 44 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:15,920 fun fact about you. 45 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,840 And then we'll talk about courage in the book. 46 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,840 That is quite an introduction. 47 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,480 I don't know if I know how to follow that. 48 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:23,480 Thank you so much. 49 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:27,720 I love hearing those stories about somebody, you know, being somewhere on Father's Day 50 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:34,400 and watching that, that interview and just thinking about what, just the connections 51 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,720 that were happening all over the place, you know, all over the world. 52 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:41,920 And Father's Day, I lost my father 10 years, would be 11 years in March. 53 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:48,200 And Father's Day is probably the hardest holiday because, you know, Christmas, you've got all 54 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:52,400 these other things going on, but Father's Day is all about your dad. 55 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:56,920 You know, everybody's dad and their cellar and I purposely hope the day goes by quickly 56 00:02:56,920 --> 00:03:01,200 and stay off social media because I don't want to see all the pictures of everybody's 57 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,760 dads and doing it. 58 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:03,760 It's a hard day. 59 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:10,160 So having you on TV and talking about the book and things, it was just so, made it a happy 60 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,160 day. 61 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,160 Oh, good. 62 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,160 I'm so glad. 63 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,160 Yeah. 64 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,840 I know that that's true for a lot of people. 65 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:20,640 And that even, you know, it's funny that that interview wasn't even originally supposed 66 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:21,640 to air on Father's Day. 67 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:25,280 It was supposed to be the week before and then Tina Turner passed away. 68 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,280 And so it got pushed. 69 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,680 And everyone was like, oh, why was this, why wasn't this scheduled for Father's Day? 70 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:31,680 Like that's perfect. 71 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:32,680 Yeah. 72 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:38,640 I mean, that's just that, that was the nature of my project, I think too, that, you know, 73 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:43,520 I set out to do this bucket list that had 54 unchecked items on it. 74 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:47,880 My dad had written down 60 of them and he wrote it when he was 29. 75 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,720 I'm told soon after I was born, but I don't know quite when. 76 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:56,560 I think he probably added new things throughout the year of 1978. 77 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:01,040 And my mom knew about it, but nobody else knew about it. 78 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:07,120 And I've since learned, since my book came out, I was actually at my book launch. 79 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:11,640 The man who interviewed me on CBS Sunday morning, Jim Axelrod, he lives right here in my town 80 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:12,640 in Montclair. 81 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:17,040 And he was the person who helped me, who helped interview me in the bookstore from my book 82 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,040 launch. 83 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,800 And he asked me where the list was that whole time. 84 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:26,120 And other than in a box in my brother's house, I really didn't know. 85 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:30,280 And my mom told me later that night, oh, didn't you know they found it on your father when 86 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:31,280 he died? 87 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:32,280 Oh, wow. 88 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:37,360 So that made me think, oh my gosh, he probably carried this in his wallet. 89 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,520 He probably had it with him. 90 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,120 Every time I was with him, you know. 91 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,000 For the 25 years, I knew him. 92 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,000 So that's- 93 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,800 All right, so we're going too far forward. 94 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:48,800 We should start with- 95 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,800 Oh, yeah, that's okay. 96 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,240 We're going to- this is going to be a fun interview. 97 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,680 But let's talk about this. 98 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:54,680 Tell us who you are. 99 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:55,680 Oh, sure. 100 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:56,680 Well, I'm a journalist. 101 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,680 I've got the book and who you are. 102 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:58,680 Yeah, I'm a journalist. 103 00:04:58,680 --> 00:04:59,680 Fun fact. 104 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,400 I'm just outside New York. 105 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,040 I'm a copy editor. 106 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:07,840 So that means most of my work, when I'm not writing, most of my work involves, you know, 107 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,440 fixing spelling, grammatical mistakes, punctuation. 108 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,360 I fix other people's writing. 109 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,720 A fun fact about me. 110 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:18,640 Oh my gosh. 111 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:19,640 I'm double-jointed. 112 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:20,640 Okay. 113 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:21,640 That's a cool fact. 114 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,280 You know, all my fingers can- and I can do it twice. 115 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,280 It's really weird. 116 00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:27,280 Oh, wow. 117 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,280 That is cool. 118 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:32,960 My youngest sister has Down syndrome and her fingers go back, like totally- 119 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:33,960 Oh, okay. 120 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,680 When she was a little kid, we'd always bend them back. 121 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,680 I bet she loved that. 122 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:39,680 Yeah. 123 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:42,400 I fix one of the kids. 124 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:43,400 So okay. 125 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,360 So before we talk about the book and all the things you did with the bucket list and how 126 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:50,480 it came about, what does courage mean to you, Laura? 127 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,160 I read this quote a few years ago from Renee Brown. 128 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,160 And she said that- Right, wow. 129 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,440 Courage is a heart word. 130 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,160 And I thought that was really fascinating because of course, you know, I'm a big logo 131 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,040 file, big word lover being a copy editor. 132 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:11,960 And that really struck me that the root of courage is COUR, which means heart in Latin. 133 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:17,000 And you know, to me, having courage means you're choosing to listen to what your heart 134 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,320 wants you to do instead of your head. 135 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,320 Love that. 136 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,320 That's probably one of my favorite. 137 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:23,560 I love Renee Brown as well. 138 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:28,440 Follow her and another coincidence connection is I'm definitely a word girl. 139 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,680 I've got them all over my house, even on my- 140 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:31,680 All right. 141 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,000 So let's get to the book. 142 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,680 So your dad had a bucket list. 143 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,160 So how'd you find it? 144 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,760 And he passed away, was he 54? 145 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,680 Yeah, he was 54. 146 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,840 It was because of a distracted driver. 147 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:50,440 I was a teenager who was lost and made a phone call at a red light. 148 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:56,640 And then, you know, back then nobody really knew yet, even though the research existed, 149 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,000 it wasn't out anywhere yet. 150 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:04,360 And I tried to cover this in the book as broadly as I could, which, you know, I didn't know 151 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,360 either. 152 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,840 But, you know, it turns out there are certain things you can do while you're driving that 153 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:12,000 are really just, they refer to it as too much of a load. 154 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,440 You know, it's too much of a cognitive load. 155 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:19,080 And, you know, when phones became ubiquitous, it just became a thing most people started 156 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,080 doing. 157 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,200 We didn't really know. 158 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,880 We couldn't just plop right in the driver's seat and just continue having our conversation. 159 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:29,520 I've been watching the Gilmore Girls for the first time and I can't believe how many people 160 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,240 like just hop into a car and are holding onto their phone. 161 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:37,600 And it looks so strange now because most people use Bluetooth or hands-free these days. 162 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:43,120 But the thing that really surprised me when I was in, I started being invited to these 163 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:49,240 seminars on safe driving and becoming an activist in that around the time I was about to get 164 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:50,240 married. 165 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,600 And that too was a coincidence. 166 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:56,320 It just was because of an article about it that came across my desk one day at Good Housekeeping 167 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,640 where I was working because I didn't know what distracted driving was. 168 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:04,400 But the thing that really surprised me was that it's really not about where your hand 169 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,400 is. 170 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:09,880 It's just that like having a conversation with someone who isn't there, it just is too 171 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:15,320 much for your brain to also function like at full capacity. 172 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:19,520 So it makes it so basically as you're driving, like let's say you're pulling up to a stop 173 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:24,600 sign and something's sort of coming out, coming at you, like your response time is going to 174 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,000 be slower. 175 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,400 And it's purely because you're having a conversation with someone who isn't there. 176 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:34,600 Like it's just that part of your brain can't do both things at once. 177 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:38,960 And a lot of people don't know that and it creates a lot of problems in people's lives 178 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,280 because they don't know it. 179 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,920 And sometimes those problems are fatal. 180 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:49,520 And I was meeting a lot of families who had mostly children who had died in these kinds 181 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,000 of incidents. 182 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,720 And one of the things they talked about a lot when I would go to these seminars was 183 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,840 how do you tell your story? 184 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:03,920 And I would sit there feeling like a dork because like that's what I do for a living. 185 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,680 You know, I already knew how to tell a story. 186 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:11,040 And I would almost be like silencing myself because I didn't want to sound, you know, 187 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,160 like, oh, well, really, it should be like this. 188 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,560 You know, like they had their way of teaching it. 189 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:18,120 And then it sort of hit me one day. 190 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,800 And this was, I think, pretty shortly before my wedding. 191 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,360 And I was in Chicago at that seminar. 192 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,360 It hit me that, oh, maybe there's a reason. 193 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:32,440 You know, maybe this wasn't just random and meaningless that my dad died this way. 194 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:38,080 You know, maybe there's a reason I was so, you know, I was so dead set on becoming a 195 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,560 journalist after he died. 196 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:45,520 Like I had just moved to New York for a college internship and I wouldn't give up on it. 197 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:51,240 And maybe this, this type of thing was supposed to happen to a family where someone is a journalist 198 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,840 and someone's a writer because I didn't know anybody else who was. 199 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:59,280 And I thought sometimes it's like, I think you encounter a problem in your life. 200 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:05,040 And it's like, if not me, who, you know, and you recognize you're the only person who 201 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,520 actually has a chance. 202 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:11,160 You know, like I felt like I had a 5% chance of writing a book about this. 203 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,160 Yeah. 204 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,760 And it's interesting how, you know, we think we're going, our life is going this way. 205 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:21,560 And then it has the diversions and my dad has a perfect example of his life. 206 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:25,040 And when he passed away, my brother's eulogy was talking about, he always had a plan A, 207 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:32,160 B and C. He, the logo, the podcast is an eye patch and handlebar mustache. 208 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,680 Because that's, that's, that was his logo because he had an eye patch and a handlebar 209 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:37,680 mustache. 210 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,480 And he got into a major car accident. 211 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:44,920 He grew up in LA and he got in a car accident at the night of high, the graduation from 212 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:45,920 high school. 213 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:50,680 They were drinking too much and got in a major car accident and almost died. 214 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:56,040 He was in the hospital, I think for six months or a long time, lost sight of his eye. 215 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,640 And he was supposed to play football for USC. 216 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,320 I'm pretty sure. 217 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,720 And he couldn't because of the car accident. 218 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,520 So this is a long time ago. 219 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:09,080 Hey, he had a grandfather in Cleveland and his dad's like, why don't you go to Notre 220 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:10,080 Dame? 221 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:15,040 So they sent him on a train and he went by himself on a train to Notre Dame. 222 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,800 And that's where he went to college. 223 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,280 And my mom grew up in South Bend, which is where Notre Dame is. 224 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:24,760 So, you know, just, you just never know where that path of life is going to take you or 225 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:29,840 something so terrible turned out like here if it wasn't because of that. 226 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,040 Yeah, if he had never gotten into that accident. 227 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:37,160 Yeah, you know, and it's, you know, with losing fathers or losing, you know, your dad, the 228 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,360 way you did my friend, the way it's like, okay, what can we do to honor their life? 229 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:44,480 And I think you did a great job with that and make something really bad and something 230 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,200 sad. 231 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,480 Find something good out of it. 232 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:52,720 Yeah, I don't think I even really knew how badly I needed to do that. 233 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,840 When we first discovered the list that happened because my brother had just moved into his 234 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:57,840 first house. 235 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:02,480 I was kind of jealous of that honestly, because it's like, oh, he's, he's my younger brother 236 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,680 and he's growing up faster than me, you know, because we were still in an apartment. 237 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:10,840 And I thought, you know, I really need to be supportive and celebrate this. 238 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,520 That's what my dad would do. 239 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,840 And I went up there and my husband and I were celebrating that he had moved into his first 240 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,120 condo that he had bought. 241 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:23,560 And because it was with his fiance, who was really good at sort of like, you know, I call 242 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:27,200 her like the anti-horter because she's really good at knowing like what should stay and 243 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,200 what should go. 244 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,200 Right. 245 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:32,560 And she had found, she had found the list because my brother had in a box that whole 246 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:36,720 time for 13 years and he had to open the box and she's like, what is this? 247 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:41,760 So he knew that he needed to show it to me so we could figure out what to do with it. 248 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:45,680 And when I first saw it, you know, I, like I said, I had been gotten, I had been getting 249 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,400 involved in activism. 250 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,560 So I thought, oh, this is great. 251 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:55,480 Like this is a person's life, their dreams, you know, this is, of course my dad wanted 252 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,840 to ride a horse fast or swim the width of a river and he was so poetic and he would, 253 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,440 he would have written things that way. 254 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:07,160 So as endearing it was, as it was for us to remember that about him, I thought, oh, this 255 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,160 is the kind of story they keep trying to teach us. 256 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,960 Like they're supposed to tell, like tell the person's story. 257 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:17,600 And then that is how you change hearts, you know, because when you change hearts, that 258 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,480 has an impact on how you change minds, I think. 259 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,520 So that was my initial instinct that I knew I needed to at least try to do this because 260 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,800 it would be activism. 261 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:31,800 But it wasn't until I really got into the throes of pursuing this thing that it hit me 262 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:38,840 what a big commitment this was, how challenging a lot of the items were going to be, and that 263 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:43,920 this was something that really was just going to like, you know, turn me inside out, reach 264 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:50,160 into my heart and heal all of the places that were still wounded from my dad's, my dad's 265 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:55,680 death from the trauma of it, you know, from how shocking it was. 266 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,880 And how many years ago? 267 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:58,880 Did you guys? 268 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:03,280 Well, it was 20 now, but when we found it had been 13. 269 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,800 But that kind of traumas can stay with you. 270 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:06,800 Oh, yeah, absolutely. 271 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:13,120 And I think because it was such a formative age with me being 25, that it just sort of 272 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,200 made me bitter about life. 273 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,040 I mean, I was a New Yorker, so maybe that was part of it. 274 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,040 I don't know. 275 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:24,360 But it was like this rude awakening of, oh, this is how life is, okay, you know, because 276 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:29,280 most people are in their 20s and if they move to a place like New York, it's so exciting. 277 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:34,720 And you sort of feel like you're on top of the world, you know, even though you might 278 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:39,680 be broke and have no real real real like career prospects. 279 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:43,160 And really, you're just having a pretty good time. 280 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:47,680 But you know, I was unlike a lot of my peers in that I wasn't there just to have a good 281 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:48,680 time. 282 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,320 And it felt like I needed to make something of myself. 283 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,320 And I got really focused on that for a while. 284 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:59,400 Luckily, I met my husband that same summer, three months before my dad died, he did get 285 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,600 to meet him once, and then he died a week later. 286 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,400 So that was lucky. 287 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,800 And you know, my husband was a very self made man. 288 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,440 He had gone to art school for a year and then he just sort of started traveling. 289 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,160 He went to Seattle. 290 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,360 I think he lived in Richmond, Virginia at one point. 291 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:22,520 He lived in Wilmington, North Carolina, wherever a friend was going, he was going to go with 292 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,240 that friend basically and just take a chance. 293 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:30,400 And he was very, you know, self educated. 294 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:36,440 And he kind of taught me about what it means to be a lifelong student. 295 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:42,080 You know, being someone who I find that people who don't have a traditional college education 296 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:46,320 are like that a lot, you know, like they they kind of learned to fashion their education 297 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,320 themselves. 298 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:51,320 So they're always, you know, they're always thirsting for knowledge. 299 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,840 They're always finding things to learn about what they're doing. 300 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,920 And he's definitely that way. 301 00:15:55,920 --> 00:16:00,480 So that was great for me because it was helping me to think outside the box a little bit at 302 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,760 a very young age. 303 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:08,160 And I think probably if I hadn't met him when I did, you know, it's probably true that I 304 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:12,920 wouldn't have said yes to a project like doing the list because it was so unusual. 305 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:17,360 It was so nontraditional and one of the things, you know, that you know that I talk about 306 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:24,880 a lot in the book is how I was so almost stifled by this, by these ideas I had about what my 307 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:29,600 life was supposed to be, you know, I was really resisting it when I was starting to do these 308 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,920 list items. 309 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:37,120 Yeah, we, yeah, the think we're supposed to think we're in this box of life. 310 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:42,360 And then it throws us that curveball and we get to do the different things. 311 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,240 And you know, you just never know where it's going to turn out. 312 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:50,760 Yeah, I mean, when you say why not today, it's like, I really did have to start thinking 313 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:51,760 like that. 314 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,280 I set up a deadline for myself with the list. 315 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:59,000 I thought, okay, well, the first item says he wanted to live until the year 2020. 316 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,120 So that's the year he's going to live until or at least that's the year that's when how 317 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,840 far his dreams will live. 318 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:09,400 So I thought that makes sense to me that I have four years to get all these items done. 319 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:14,000 Of course, then that turned out to not happen either, because like I said, with the list, 320 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,240 it's like up is down and down is up. 321 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:20,560 So what you think it's going to be is always not quite what it's going to be. 322 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:21,760 And then COVID happened. 323 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,640 So then I had to add an extra two years to the project. 324 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:25,640 Right. 325 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,280 But, you know, I feel like 54 items in six years is still pretty good. 326 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,280 That's pretty amazing. 327 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,760 So what was your favorite? 328 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,760 Is there a favorite? 329 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:37,520 Oh, I have so many favorites for so many reasons. 330 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:43,840 I like to say that, you know, there's one that I feel like is ongoing, which is make 331 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:48,400 my husband feel happy, healthy, handsome and young every day of his life, which of course 332 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,280 my dad had written for my mom. 333 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,280 Right. 334 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,880 You know, even just yesterday, I was thinking to myself, huh, is he feeling all those things 335 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:56,880 right now? 336 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:57,880 I don't know. 337 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,320 Like am I slacking? 338 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:06,520 And I think that's a really interesting idea because, you know, in my experience, people 339 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:13,680 get married and they sort of start to forget how when they first met that person who they 340 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,960 fell in love with, they just, oh, they really cared about was, oh, I just love making this 341 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:18,960 person happy. 342 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:23,920 You know, like I love seeing them smile and how you would just devote yourself selflessly 343 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,480 to doing that. 344 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:29,000 And then it's like you're with someone for a while and then it becomes a relationship 345 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,480 and then it becomes just your life in a lot of ways. 346 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:33,480 And then they're your family. 347 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,640 And it's like, oh, well, this is my other half. 348 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,440 But, you know, am I still, am I still working on that? 349 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,600 Am I still trying to make them feel that way? 350 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,680 And I think that's how you really keep the love alive and something. 351 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,080 So that's that. 352 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,560 That listening is a great gift for me. 353 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,560 That's awesome. 354 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,480 You know, and then what else? 355 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:57,520 I've kind of the opposite of that one, but I guess not really because I think it shows 356 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:58,960 the strength of my marriage. 357 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:04,840 I was able to even do this, but is visit Vienna because I ended up doing that by myself for 358 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:05,840 two weeks. 359 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,040 And, you know, we just couldn't afford for both of us to do it. 360 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:13,320 And my husband was super jealous, but he also was very supportive. 361 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:17,240 And it felt like he was there because I was calling him every day and every night, you 362 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:24,000 know, but that was just, I sometimes feel like the whole list. 363 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,000 And I hope this comes across in the book too. 364 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:33,360 The whole thing was leading to that, you know, the whole adventure, all of these different 365 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:39,520 diverse items I'm doing, they're all preparing me for those two weeks. 366 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,800 Because if I had tried to do it in year one, I couldn't have done it. 367 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:49,240 You know, like I even now think when I was trying to check off, own a $200 suit, which, 368 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:55,920 you know, in my, in my, you know, hair brain schemes can end up becoming a triathlon suit 369 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,400 because that's an easy $200 suit. 370 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,120 You know, just learn how to be a triathlete. 371 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:02,120 No problem. 372 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:09,000 And now I feel like, well, maybe all of that time that I spent out there in the cold, you 373 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:14,720 know, cycling 20 miles at that one night or, you know, running down to the YMCA and then 374 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:18,400 swimming, you know, for an hour and then running back home. 375 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,680 Like that's really, you know, you have to do that several times a week if you're training 376 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,120 for these half Ironman races like I was. 377 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:29,160 And I did it during the pandemic because I sort of had more time and I was trying to 378 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,160 fill it. 379 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:36,080 So now I feel like what I was actually doing when I was out there training for those races 380 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:42,640 was getting really good at being by myself, getting to a point where my brain became accustomed 381 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:43,640 to it. 382 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:48,880 And then that way when I went to Vienna, it was just like, Oh, this is not, this is not 383 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:49,880 a big deal. 384 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:54,720 You know, like being alone is, I think I referred to myself as my own best friend in the book. 385 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,160 And that was something, you know, for someone like me who was diagnosed with depression 386 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:02,840 at a young age and was taught, you know, like don't be, I mean, no one came out and said 387 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:07,840 this, but this was the impression I had, like don't be alone too much because you can't 388 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,840 trust your own thoughts and you'll get really lonely and down. 389 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,480 Like I really felt that way as a very young person. 390 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:21,880 So to now be someone at 44, I'm 45 now, but I was 44 then, you know, who's, who's choosing 391 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,760 to be alone and embraces it and loves it. 392 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,880 It's like, that was a revelation for me. 393 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,440 Yeah, that's awesome. 394 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,440 Yeah. 395 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,800 And when I was talking to a friend about that this morning, we were talking about depression 396 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:38,800 and addiction and the loneliness and how it's, you know, people that are depressed, they 397 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,600 go in and spend time alone and, you know, we need to, 398 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:42,600 Yeah, but not in a good way. 399 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,600 No, not in a good way. 400 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:45,600 Exactly. 401 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:46,760 No, true. 402 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:52,360 And so yeah, the loneliness and so I'm single and never been married and traveled corporate 403 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:55,040 America for years and did lots of things, lived by myself. 404 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,760 And I remember the first time I was supposed to go to the beach with a friend and she backed 405 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,800 out and I'm like, you know what, I can go by myself. 406 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,000 Like I live by myself. 407 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,800 I travel by myself for business. 408 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,280 Why can't I go? 409 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,480 And I had the best time. 410 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:12,240 Like I had ice cream for dinner and read a book on a gazebo and I had nobody else's agenda. 411 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,360 So it is kind of a fun adventure to do things on that. 412 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:18,520 I mean, if you can't enjoy your company, who else is going to enjoy it? 413 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,520 Exactly. 414 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,880 And the other thing, and now I think that it did, that it did for me once I got really 415 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:23,880 good. 416 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,760 I remember being a person who when I was a teenager, the only thing I ever did alone 417 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:27,760 was go to the mall. 418 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:32,200 I remember even doing that in Delaware and thinking, oh God, why don't I have any friends 419 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,520 who can go to the mall with me today? 420 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,640 Because, you know, I was very popular in high school. 421 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:46,280 But you know, now I think because I pursue things in my life like these triathlons and 422 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:52,080 travel and things like that alone sometimes, and I actually really enjoy it, it has become 423 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,840 a defense against my depression, which is a lifelong condition. 424 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,840 You know, I take medication for it, I see a therapist, but it's something I'm always 425 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,600 going to have. 426 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:07,160 And I think now if I get into, if something's triggered for me or if I'm getting into an 427 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:11,200 episode of it, I come out of it a lot faster. 428 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,800 And the reason for that is I've gotten really good at talking to myself in my head. 429 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,920 You know, I've gotten good at, you know, say, like just stopping the thoughts and saying 430 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:23,280 to myself, okay, you know, what's going on here, Laura? 431 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:24,960 Like, what are you really thinking? 432 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,720 What's, let's put this into words. 433 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,600 What's really bothering you. 434 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:29,840 And that's what that comes from. 435 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:34,720 It comes from being in Vienna, walking down the street and sometimes just saying something 436 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:39,720 out loud that I was thinking if I saw something completely awe-inspiring and realizing, well, 437 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,480 this is weird, this crazy lady's walking down the street and said something to herself. 438 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,400 But then I thought, well, I'm speaking English and most people here don't even speak that 439 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:47,400 so it's okay. 440 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:52,160 And half the time people have earbuds in and they're talking to somebody, but yeah, I 441 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:58,760 think getting into the practice of talking to yourself preferably in your inside head, 442 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,400 not outside, is really healthy. 443 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:05,520 It's really good because you're the one who has to take care of you, you know. 444 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:09,000 Saying the good things to yourself though. 445 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,120 So in writing the book and doing the bucket list, because you said you do suffer from 446 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:17,080 depression, has it helped with that part of your life? 447 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,640 Has it helped you be more creative? 448 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,200 How has it changed you? 449 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:25,640 It changed the way I looked at myself almost completely. 450 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:31,800 And you know, my mom hates this part because I have such an incredible mother, you know, 451 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,920 and she did, she was a guidance counselor for God's sake. 452 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:41,200 She did such a great job at helping me to be emotionally intelligent and express myself 453 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,680 and be my real self, you know. 454 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:50,240 But when you have depression, it just, it distorts your thoughts. 455 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:54,800 It changes the way and especially if you're being treated for it as a kid, I think, because 456 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:58,160 I was seeing all these therapists at a very young age. 457 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:05,480 And you're old enough that that was not, I mean, luckily it's more accepted now, but 458 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:06,800 then absolutely not. 459 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,280 Yeah, it was not common. 460 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:13,160 And, you know, I felt like I felt very othered because of it. 461 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:20,560 I remember having to like quit certain activities in school like basketball or AP English marching 462 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:25,080 band because these doctors were telling me, you know, this is too much stress for you. 463 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:29,000 And you really like you're going to have a life where you can't do much, like you can't 464 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:33,960 stress yourself out too much, you know, you can't, like you need to be aware of your limits 465 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,280 here because you're not like other people. 466 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:40,200 And you have a, I remember one time someone saying, you have a disease, you know, like 467 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,240 just so, so, so dramatic. 468 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:50,320 And to tell a 23 year old that is just like, oh God, you know, like I'm doomed. 469 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:55,880 And, you know, I can laugh about it now, but it really wasn't very funny for me at the time. 470 00:25:55,880 --> 00:26:00,200 And I was on a lot of different medications and we really were just, we're trying to find 471 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,840 the answer for why it was that I just couldn't get out of bed sometimes. 472 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:12,480 And, you know, I had formed ideas about who I was just based on how I grew up. 473 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:16,960 And you know, I had a bit of a sheltered existence in the suburbs in Delaware, which, you know, 474 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,000 a lot of suburban kids had. 475 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:24,440 And I had a really lovely childhood, you know, it was really nice. 476 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:28,720 Really I got to keep my innocence, I think in a lot of ways that some kids don't get 477 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:29,720 to. 478 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,800 And my mom and dad orchestrated that very, very carefully. 479 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,920 So I know how fortunate I am. 480 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:44,040 But I think there was just something for me about being sort of an intellectual and then 481 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,600 also becoming a woman that didn't pair very well. 482 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:52,520 And that's why the way I described it in the book was it was when I was reading Betty 483 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:58,560 for Dan's The Feminine Mystique That My Brain Broke, basically, because it was like, what? 484 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:03,440 Wait, as women, like we got the vote and then we were sent back to our homes, like what 485 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:08,200 is this history, you know, like this doesn't make any sense to me. 486 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:13,880 And I just couldn't, I couldn't piece it together. 487 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:19,400 Like what kind of life am I going to live if, if, you know, the greatest accomplishments 488 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:24,880 I'll ever have are being married and having kids, you know, if that's really what American 489 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,920 society sort of expects from me. 490 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:33,960 And it just, I think something in the core of my being, it just didn't match very well 491 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,320 with what I was supposed to do. 492 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:38,920 And I think that was what it was. 493 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:45,200 At some point I really got into like an existential depression that took me many years to navigate. 494 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:48,680 But you know, like you were saying, everything happens for a reason. 495 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:55,560 And if I hadn't had that experience of navigating depression and seeing all these doctors and, 496 00:27:55,560 --> 00:28:00,000 you know, getting to a point where I actually had to go to a hospital after my college graduation, 497 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:05,160 because I'd been put on way too many of those antidepressants, I would never have moved 498 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:06,160 to New York. 499 00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,880 I would never have really taken the plunge with magazines. 500 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,520 I wouldn't have met my husband who lived across the country. 501 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:14,520 I met him online. 502 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:20,480 You know, I wouldn't have been prepared for when my dad died suddenly and I had to make 503 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,480 a choice. 504 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,840 Do I go back home to Delaware or do I keep sticking this out? 505 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:29,160 I don't think I would have had the courage to stick it out if I hadn't been in that hospital 506 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:30,880 the year before. 507 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:36,320 Because what that taught me was, well, you know, I think in general people have this 508 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,040 fear of they don't want to lose control. 509 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:45,880 You know, like they don't want to be the person who has just had a nervous breakdown and now 510 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,120 they're being carted off to a hospital or something. 511 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:53,720 You know, like it's a real, what's the right word for it? 512 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:58,680 Even pride, you know, it's like you don't want to be seen that way by other people. 513 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:02,360 So there's a real effort, I think, that people make in their lives of just let's keep it 514 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:07,160 all together, you know, like let's keep my emotions in check. 515 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,840 And the thing is, like that's not really being alive. 516 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:10,840 No. 517 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:16,080 Like if you're always trying to maintain something and hide something, what's the point? 518 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,280 Are you even enjoying your life? 519 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:23,760 And I got to have this incredible blessing, which I feel like it would surprise my mom 520 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:27,160 to hear me describe it this way because it's still a, it's a painful thing for her that 521 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,160 this happened. 522 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:32,800 But I got to have this incredible blessing of being in that hospital in Johns Hopkins 523 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:38,000 for a week and seeing, oh, okay, now I've done this thing that everybody's afraid will 524 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,240 happen to them. 525 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:40,720 So there's nothing left. 526 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,480 There's nothing left for me to be afraid of. 527 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,880 And like the world is my oyster now. 528 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:45,880 That's awesome. 529 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:52,520 And it is those things that happen to us and how we react to them, you know, and, you know, 530 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,800 you could have hidden from it and that could have been your identity. 531 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,120 Well, and I did, I did hide it for 13 years. 532 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:04,400 I mean, that's the thing, you know, part of why I wrote about my dad's secret life in 533 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:09,680 the book is because I realized how much I identified with that. 534 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:15,440 And here I was 35 years old or 38 years old, finding this bucket list, starting to embark 535 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:21,080 on his dreams that he didn't get to and recognizing, oh my God, I've become him. 536 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:27,680 Like here I've, here I've made all these efforts to be, you know, responsible and steady and 537 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,880 not be this like adventurous dreamer the way that he was, or at least like to limit 538 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:37,080 it, you know, to have a creative life, but also feel kind of successful with it. 539 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,560 I'd really made these efforts to do that. 540 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:43,840 And I think sometimes when we resist becoming our parents, we still become them anyway. 541 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:48,480 And I had become him in the fact that I had these secrets, you know, I had the hospital 542 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:54,040 I had even my dad's death by then had become like a secret to me because really I was at 543 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:59,600 a point where anything that felt vulnerable to me or, or othering or different, I would 544 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:05,400 just hide from people because all I wanted was to be accepted and like celebrated for, 545 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:09,120 you know, not my accomplishments, but seen as someone who mattered. 546 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,800 I think most people feel that way. 547 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:11,800 Oh, absolutely. 548 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:16,920 I, I, the weirdest part is now I'm living this life where people treat me like things 549 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,280 I'm doing matter. 550 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:22,920 And after being on CBS Sunday morning and having this book out and whatever else, and 551 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:28,040 that stuff had started happening for me when I stopped caring about it, you know, like 552 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,520 I was too busy doing my thing. 553 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,880 Like I don't care if people think of me anymore. 554 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:37,400 So you're passionate about your self about what you're doing and you're living in alignment 555 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,400 with your values. 556 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:39,880 Somebody said that to me the other day. 557 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:40,880 Oh yeah. 558 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:41,880 And that's really important. 559 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:46,040 And that, that resonates with people. 560 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,440 There's an energy to it that I think that people give off when they're a person who's 561 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:50,440 doing that. 562 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:51,440 Yeah. 563 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:52,440 And like you said, you've never looked for a job. 564 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:53,960 It all came to you. 565 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:58,720 And since I've never looked for a job in my life. 566 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:02,600 And, you know, it all just kind of got handed to me. 567 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:08,320 And you know, it's who you knew, the connections and just it's being open to what's there. 568 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:12,000 And so many people just have their life closed off and I've talked about this loss with the 569 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,000 podcast. 570 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,160 It's there's a author Daniel Pink. 571 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,160 I don't know if you're aware of that. 572 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,160 Oh yeah. 573 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:18,160 Yeah. 574 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,160 I've heard of him. 575 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:20,160 He actually lives close to this. 576 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,680 He's my, he's my big scary person interview. 577 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,680 One day he will be on this podcast. 578 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:26,680 Oh, do it. 579 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,280 I've asked once, but he didn't respond. 580 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,600 I want to keep asking. 581 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,440 But he wrote a book about regrets, right? 582 00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:37,880 About when I started this podcast and he said, we never regret the things that we do. 583 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,600 We often regret the things. 584 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:43,160 No, yeah, we never regret the things we do. 585 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,040 And so like we got to do those things. 586 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:49,120 And that's kind of the message here is step out of your comfort zone. 587 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:50,800 Do those things. 588 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:51,800 Don't stay in that box. 589 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:57,680 And I think that's where my dad's legacy is, is he was definitely a big thinker and crazy 590 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,000 thinker and way ahead of his time thinker. 591 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:07,320 He had had a major stroke in 2000 and pretty much was comatose for months. 592 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:08,680 People's like, oh, he'll never walk. 593 00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:14,400 And he actually lived 13 years after he had the stroke before he passed away. 594 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:19,160 But they were bringing a Metro and from DC to Northern Virginia. 595 00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:20,840 And that was in the works for years and years. 596 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:25,520 And my dad's like, there's going to be intellectual property going over the toll road and all 597 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:26,680 this stuff happening. 598 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:30,880 And he would be talking about this in the hospital and like, oh, he's still not together. 599 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,120 Well, things are coming to fruition. 600 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:34,880 You know, crazy things. 601 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,200 He thought outside the box. 602 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:40,160 He was, and he made you think he made, he asked questions. 603 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:45,840 I had several friends say that they had more conversations with my father than their own 604 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,520 father their entire life. 605 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:52,280 And you know, people would come to visit, you know, friends would come to go out or 606 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:53,280 do something. 607 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:57,640 And he would be like, hey, Laura, grab that bag of mulch and spread it or pick up those 608 00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:58,840 leaves and they do it. 609 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,600 I'm like, what are you doing? 610 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:07,320 But he just had that positive attitude and, you know, good things were coming. 611 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:13,360 And I just feel, yeah, there's so many connections between you and your dad. 612 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,400 Yeah, just the positive attitude. 613 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,440 And I think you mentioned earlier, just having your dad with you. 614 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,040 And so I told you, my dad had the logo. 615 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:26,200 So we all got tattoos with his logo. 616 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,120 I love that. 617 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:32,160 Like before he passed away, we got him. 618 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:36,120 But my siblings have him, my nieces, some of my nieces and nephews. 619 00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:40,640 But you know, I just feel like if I have a hard thing or a question, he's right here. 620 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:44,800 And I can, you know, you've got them in your book in the bucket list, which I just love 621 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,840 the whole premise of that. 622 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:47,840 So many cool things. 623 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:54,080 Yeah, I mean, and the thing too about my dad is, you know, he wasn't perfect. 624 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,080 Nobody's perfect. 625 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:56,080 Absolutely not. 626 00:34:56,080 --> 00:35:00,600 And it was important to me that I described every person who's in that book. 627 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:04,800 It was important to me that I described them as a human being, even if they're like my 628 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:10,360 mom and like, you know, the most saintly human being I know, you know, that is just not reality 629 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:14,280 that every single interaction with someone is going to be like, oh, they're a saint every 630 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,160 time is just that's just not life. 631 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:22,920 And I felt like if I was going to share all of my flaws or not flaws, but challenges that 632 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,360 I was overcoming. 633 00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:32,120 It was important to me that I showed the reality of people in my life and my dad in particular, 634 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:37,440 because for a long time, I think I let my fears about certain things about him, whether 635 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:41,000 he was, you know, because he kind of went from job to job. 636 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,080 And my mom was the one who was really sort of providing for us financially, even though 637 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,880 he would take us out twice a week, you know, I found out eventually she was going to be 638 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,080 paying for college. 639 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:55,200 And as a young person, I was resentful of that and I didn't understand it. 640 00:35:55,200 --> 00:36:00,760 And you know, I think it was important that I wrote about those parts of his life too, 641 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,920 which, you know, I think troubled him a great deal. 642 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,800 I think he felt a lot of shame about it. 643 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,400 And I think he probably felt like he didn't get to do everything that he thought he was 644 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:14,240 going to do because he was such a talented person. 645 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:20,080 So I needed to come to terms with that, I think, because the only way I was going to 646 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:26,240 get to a point in my life where I could let myself thrive and be brave enough to take 647 00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:30,960 things on that I care about, that I have a chance of being good at and have a chance 648 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:33,560 of helping people because I'm good at it. 649 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:38,480 The only way I could get there was if I could accept that I have these difficulties too, 650 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:44,520 you know, that I have things specific to me or things I might have inherited from my parents 651 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:48,760 and, you know, just get on with it. 652 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:49,760 Let it be. 653 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:56,240 And I think sometimes it's difficult for people to be brave enough to say why not today, to 654 00:36:56,240 --> 00:37:03,040 actually live in the moment and do what they want to do because they've just sort of become, 655 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:10,120 I guess the right word is encumbered by these things that become like a load they're carrying 656 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:11,120 of. 657 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,120 And the haphood and the should-bees. 658 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:14,120 Yeah. 659 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:21,000 It's like, I think the focus can become more am I keeping up with the Joneses and not am 660 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,320 I just being me? 661 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,800 Am I being the person I was built to be? 662 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:30,320 Because I think even our challenges that we have in life, like these unique things that 663 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:35,400 seem like they're only difficult for us, even those are actually gifts because they're things 664 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,120 that we're supposed to work through and then take that, you know, who was it? 665 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:43,280 Joseph Campbell used to always say your wound is where your treasure lies. 666 00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,600 So you're not supposed to avoid that pain. 667 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,840 You're not supposed to just not ever look at it and not let anybody else see it. 668 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,680 What you're actually supposed to do is just go into that cave and find it and spend some 669 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:55,880 time with it and become friends with it. 670 00:37:55,880 --> 00:38:01,880 So that's really, you know, ironically, that's what going after my dad's dreams forced me 671 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:02,880 to do. 672 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,560 I had to look at my own nightmares and hold hands with them. 673 00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,640 And say, why not today a lot? 674 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:09,640 Yeah. 675 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,600 Well, that's the other part, right? 676 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,840 I think it becomes a practice. 677 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:14,840 It absolutely is. 678 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,520 I think it's going to be a person who's, sorry, what'd you say? 679 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,320 I said it absolutely is a practice. 680 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:23,600 You've got to keep doing it and keep doing those brave things. 681 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:29,720 And, you know, I talk about here often, some people, and luckily that's not the way I'm 682 00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:32,000 wired is getting up in the morning. 683 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,240 Some people, like you said, it was hard to get out of bed. 684 00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:36,920 Yeah, well, depression will do that to you. 685 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:37,920 Yeah. 686 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:42,040 And so I can say, gratefully, I've not experienced that. 687 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,640 I'm usually bouncing out of bed. 688 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:49,840 But yeah, it's all the things just having the courage to do and, you know, live out, 689 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,080 live your life that you want to. 690 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:59,200 I mean, I left corporate America 24 years ago to pursue a side hustle and was able to 691 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,480 walk away and everybody's like, you're crazy. 692 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:02,600 What are you going to do for insurance? 693 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,080 And why are you doing this and helping? 694 00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,280 I'm like, you know, if it doesn't work, I'll get another job. 695 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:11,040 And that was 24 years ago and I have not gotten another job yet. 696 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,640 And, you know, it's being able to be true to who you are. 697 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:17,360 And I think that was what I was modeled with my dad. 698 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:18,960 He always owned his own business. 699 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:20,280 And it wasn't perfect. 700 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:21,600 And it was ups and downs. 701 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,360 And it seemed like everything was good. 702 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,880 My mom's told me since that it wasn't always good and seemed to be always around a birthday 703 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,560 that they were short on cash and how is it going to work? 704 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:33,520 And, you know, it always worked out. 705 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:37,880 And it's something you and I talked about before we even came on is, you know, do the 706 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,760 things and the money will follow when you're true to yourself. 707 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,320 Well, encourage is a faith journey, I think. 708 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:49,960 I was thinking about yesterday how funny it is to me that if you look at my book, the 709 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:55,560 end papers, and this wasn't a decision I made, although I had the final call on it, of course, 710 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,040 the end papers are watermelons. 711 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,240 I was wondering about that. 712 00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:01,800 Yeah, it's kind of whimsical. 713 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,680 And when I first saw it, I was like, oh, this looks like like a scrapbook or something, 714 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,360 you know, or like an elementary school. 715 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,800 What's the story behind the watermelons? 716 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:14,280 Well, the watermelon, it was a list item, grow a watermelon. 717 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,160 And it's actually, it's really at the very heart of the book. 718 00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:22,000 It's chapter eight, it's just about dead center in the story, which I sort of love that that 719 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,920 happened that way. 720 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:28,200 One of my favorite books of all time is Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. 721 00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:32,360 And she does this amazing thing or did this amazing thing where the way she wrote that 722 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:34,360 book was very layered. 723 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:39,840 So it's sort of like there are five different narrators of Frankenstein. 724 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:44,920 And it starts with the creature's experience, which is kind of dead center of the book. 725 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,800 And then outside of that is Dr. Frankenstein's experience. 726 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:52,320 And then outside of that is someone he meets on a boat, you know, and outside of that is 727 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:56,040 the aunt who's receiving letters from the guy on the boat, you know, it's like layer 728 00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:59,080 upon layer of narration. 729 00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:02,840 And I always thought that was such a cool way to tell a story. 730 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:08,760 And I think it probably impacted the way this story is told because, you know, that watermelon 731 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:14,040 seems like it should be one of the least significant items on the list, but it's actually the most 732 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,160 important one. 733 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,960 Even though it was the size of a golf ball, you know, when we grew it. 734 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:24,440 And I think the picture is of me holding it in my hands like in the hands were just sort 735 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:29,360 of forming the shape of a heart, which at one point the watermelon did become slightly heart 736 00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,760 shaped, which I thought was really cool. 737 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:39,000 But it was really important to me because I think it really represents that idea we 738 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,800 were just talking about, which is that courage is a practice. 739 00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,760 And the things that are going to require courage for people in their lives, it's going to be 740 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,160 different depending on the person. 741 00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:54,520 So while growing a watermelon might seem like nothing to someone who has a farm or is a 742 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:58,840 gardener and they do things like that all the time, or someone like me living in the 743 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:04,720 city who was rarely home and was, you know, copy editing in an office until late at night 744 00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:10,000 and was maybe home on weekends, like that was a big shift for me to have this little 745 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:14,480 thing I had to take care of every day that my husband would water in the morning because 746 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:18,920 he's a morning person and I would water at night and watermelons require a lot of water. 747 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:23,000 Like it's like more watering than you're ever going to give a plant. 748 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,400 In the title, watermelon. 749 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:32,000 You know, and I remember thinking it seemed synchronistic to me that I was checking off 750 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:38,760 this list item at the same time as beginning to write my book because the book to me felt 751 00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:43,520 like I was planting seeds and something and almost like, I mean, I don't have children 752 00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:48,400 myself, but I imagined this was sort of what that would feel like to if you had a child 753 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,280 and you were, you had just become pregnant and it's like you have a seed that's growing 754 00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,640 and you have to wait. 755 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:59,560 And I remember thinking like I wish I had a pot that was made out of glass because then 756 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:04,440 I could see what was happening, you know, and I could because I couldn't see it. 757 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:08,360 And I just had to believe I had to have faith. 758 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:09,360 I had to wait. 759 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:14,760 And, and, you know, that's what I meant when I said that courage is a faith journey because 760 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,320 if you're doing something new that you think that you could fail at, I mean, I really did 761 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:21,440 think that that was going to be the one that was going to do me in, because I just thought 762 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,520 I had to lack them or something. 763 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:29,480 And to have it actually work, it really was just, okay, well, you know, you just have 764 00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:33,640 to trust that life is going to do what it needs to do to help you. 765 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:37,720 And, and, you know, and the Jimmy Carter sermon I experienced that really helped with that, 766 00:43:37,720 --> 00:43:40,680 thinking too, but I really had never thought that way before. 767 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:46,680 I never had this concept that I'm not in the world alone, that there's something so much 768 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:50,040 bigger than all of us that really is guiding all of our lives. 769 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:55,600 And if we can just get aligned with it and be like, okay, I agree, I'm cooperating. 770 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:56,600 Let's go. 771 00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,600 It really helps you with that courage. 772 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,480 I love that. 773 00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:05,160 And you know, I do these interviews and often think when I'm talking to people, it's like, 774 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,680 okay, God, you put Laura in my path. 775 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:11,160 For a reason for the things you just said that I needed to hear. 776 00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:12,160 And oh, really? 777 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,160 Oh, absolutely. 778 00:44:13,160 --> 00:44:18,040 Like just trusting the process, the whole podcast and where it's going and what I want 779 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:19,040 to do with it. 780 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:24,240 It's just, yeah, the seeds and growing them and somebody said, those are the scariest 781 00:44:24,240 --> 00:44:25,240 things in life. 782 00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:29,160 I think somebody said the other day, you know, talking about growing a watermelon like that 783 00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,600 seems scary for you and you never done it. 784 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:36,200 Now, I've never grown a watermelon, but I do have lots of plants and they grow like 785 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,400 weeds and like, they don't die. 786 00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:43,760 But you know, those things that seem really easy to us, the people go, oh my gosh, how 787 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:44,760 did you do that? 788 00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:45,760 I'm like, what do you mean? 789 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,400 It's so simple. 790 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:53,800 And so those are the places of our genius and those are the places we need to spend time. 791 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:58,280 The things that you know, you writing and copywriting that scares me a lot, but that's 792 00:44:58,280 --> 00:44:59,280 not going to be. 793 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,680 But you never know when the book might come from this. 794 00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:07,480 But you know, stay in those places that just feed us and give us life and give us energy. 795 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:08,480 And I think we can. 796 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:09,480 Okay. 797 00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:10,480 There you go. 798 00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:16,120 I think we can talk forever, but yeah, all I was going to say is what I have discovered 799 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:21,840 is that if there's a yearning that's inside of you, even if it's super scary that yearning 800 00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:23,520 is there for a reason. 801 00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:24,520 Yeah. 802 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:29,120 And you know, this whole podcast and how this came about, I don't know if I shared 803 00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,880 this with you, but I thought about doing a podcast. 804 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,760 It was just kind of one of those, maybe I should do a podcast. 805 00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:36,760 No idea. 806 00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:37,760 A friend of mine did one. 807 00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:39,720 I'd been interviewed on a couple. 808 00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:41,680 No idea what I want to do. 809 00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:43,240 And I remember it like it's yesterday. 810 00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:48,840 I was at a friend's house and there's a social media site that had a story and I don't ever 811 00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:53,400 look at it and it just popped up in my feed and it was some man that lived locally and 812 00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,720 he had an eye patch on because he had some surgery done. 813 00:45:56,720 --> 00:45:59,840 And he said every morning he got up and looked in the mirror and thought of his old friend 814 00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:02,320 Pat Cain and he talked about my dad and things he did. 815 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,440 And he said, and we both always said, why not today? 816 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,280 And that just stuck to me. 817 00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:11,040 And it's actually, it's interesting. 818 00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:12,720 It was September 13th. 819 00:46:12,720 --> 00:46:14,600 My dad died in 13. 820 00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:16,800 You had a 13 reference. 821 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:21,320 Just that was how many years ago your dad passed away? 822 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:24,160 When I found the list, it had been 13 years. 823 00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:25,160 13 years. 824 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,160 Okay. 825 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:27,160 13, 13, 13, 13, 13. 826 00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:28,160 But yeah. 827 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:29,160 Yeah, that was a big number for him too. 828 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:30,160 Yeah. 829 00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:33,880 And it was just one of those things that I'm just like, okay, there's something here. 830 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,200 And so I talked to my friend that I talked about the podcast and told her that story. 831 00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,800 She goes, well that's the name of your podcast and just do it. 832 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,880 And I've just done it. 833 00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,080 I just feel like there's something bigger and better. 834 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,120 And your book just so spoke to me. 835 00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,240 And you're my rock star interview. 836 00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:52,920 Like my favorite thing. 837 00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:53,920 You are. 838 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:57,280 The fact that you said yes, I've told everybody I was so excited. 839 00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:58,800 Oh, that's so, wow. 840 00:46:58,800 --> 00:46:59,800 That's so nice. 841 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:01,280 I don't know what to do with it. 842 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,720 I feel like I have a new best friend too. 843 00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:08,560 Well, we started doing sponsors for the podcast and I'm going to, we're going to end in a 844 00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,320 second, but I do want to share our sponsor. 845 00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:15,440 So as this is going to launch right at the end of 2023. 846 00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:19,960 And as we start January, it's going to be the why not today be intentional month. 847 00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,960 And so I do a one word and I know Laura and I, you talked about this too, that you do 848 00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:25,240 your one word. 849 00:47:25,240 --> 00:47:27,320 And the last couple episodes are centered around that. 850 00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,360 But our sponsor this week is Pino's Palates. 851 00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:33,480 It says, why not unleash your creativity and have a little fun at Pino's Palates in 852 00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:34,480 Herndon, Virginia. 853 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:39,280 Paint and sip while socializing with loved ones and friends and discover your inner artists. 854 00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,600 No artist ability required. 855 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:45,320 Entertaining artists will guide you step by step from blank canvas to a masterpiece. 856 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:46,880 Why not paint and sip today? 857 00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,560 So thank you Pino's Palates for being our sponsor. 858 00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:57,880 So as we wrap up Ms. Laura, how would you encourage somebody else to say why not today? 859 00:47:57,880 --> 00:47:58,880 It's funny. 860 00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:03,600 I was just thinking about that what we talked about my little known fact about me that I 861 00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:04,720 was double-jointed. 862 00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:11,880 And it just occurred to me like maybe that is the secret is being flexible. 863 00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:16,960 You know, I think because I was diagnosed with depression and ADD at a really young 864 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:22,480 age, one of the things I learned was how important it was to be flexible. 865 00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:29,480 Knowing that I might be late to something sometimes or I might take an extra hour to 866 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,680 finish something that I thought was going to take this amount of time. 867 00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:38,080 Or I might, I don't know, get caught up in a conversation for a really long time because 868 00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:39,080 I'm hyper-focusing. 869 00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:42,560 Like that's just how I function and that's okay. 870 00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:48,520 And when you're that way, you learn to go with it just to flow with whatever's happening 871 00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:49,640 in your environment. 872 00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:55,640 And I think now that that is a big key to success for people when they're going after 873 00:48:55,640 --> 00:49:01,600 something that scares them because the truth is taking that first step and saying why not 874 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,240 today, that's just the beginning. 875 00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:07,120 I mean, you're really way ahead of everybody else if you can take that first step. 876 00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:11,960 But if you actually want to succeed at something that you're afraid of, that you're doing, 877 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:16,640 you're going to have to remember that the universe is going to send you curveballs. 878 00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,760 And usually that's not a bad thing. 879 00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:23,600 Like that's, it's actually a detour and it's where you're supposed to be headed. 880 00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:28,320 But if you try to stay in this fixed mindset of no, no, no, it's not supposed to be like 881 00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,920 this, then you're not really helping yourself. 882 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:37,960 So it's really just having this very malleable mindset and a willingness to cooperate with 883 00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,680 like the forces that be that are trying to guide you. 884 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:45,600 And I think you just covered that pretty well when you said you see all these signs and 885 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:47,680 things pointing you in a certain direction. 886 00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:52,680 And I think people who really succeed at something are able to cooperate in that way. 887 00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:53,680 Yeah. 888 00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:54,680 And so true. 889 00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,880 And I think we've talked about it circled around that subject many times with my dad, 890 00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,480 you know, his life went this way when it was supposed to go this way. 891 00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:02,360 Yeah, he's guiding you. 892 00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:03,640 And he, oh yeah. 893 00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:09,920 And he was on several, he flew, traveled a lot for business and he was on, missed several 894 00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:13,680 flights that had major accidents or something happened. 895 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:18,280 Like he escaped death so many times. 896 00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:22,360 And just, you know, when it was his time and it was time and he actually the day he passed 897 00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,400 away was his birthday. 898 00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,320 And he'd gone to the dentist. 899 00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:27,440 He talked to several people. 900 00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:28,520 He was totally fine. 901 00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,720 He had lung cancer, but we don't know what killed him. 902 00:50:31,720 --> 00:50:35,200 But that night my mom was getting ready for bed and his arm was sore. 903 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:39,880 So she gave him some Advil turned around the water down and he was gone. 904 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:44,000 And I think he was like, I mean, I've been thinking about Mark Twain this whole conversation 905 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,680 because that's like Mark Twain. 906 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,960 He was born and died with Haley's Comet. 907 00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,120 I really he predicted it. 908 00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:53,640 He's like, yeah, I was born with Haley's Comet and I'll die when Haley's Comet comes 909 00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,640 back and that is exactly what happened. 910 00:50:56,640 --> 00:51:00,560 And he was the person who said that quote that you said earlier. 911 00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:01,840 It wasn't just Daniel Pink. 912 00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:03,320 It was Mark Twain. 913 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:04,320 Wow. 914 00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:11,080 I would do what, don't regret anything essentially, I'm paraphrasing, but do the thing that you 915 00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:12,080 want to do. 916 00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:13,080 Yeah. 917 00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:14,080 And he's one of my big role models. 918 00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:15,600 He was one of my dads. 919 00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:20,600 And I mean, talk about someone who accomplished things that were really scary in his life. 920 00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:21,800 I know some of his stuff. 921 00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:34,040 Well, and I know in your book, before we close, I did in your, the very first, it says, strange 922 00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:35,040 isn't it? 923 00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:38,600 Each man's life touches so many others lives when he isn't around. 924 00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,560 He learns an awful, he leaves an awful hole doesn't he? 925 00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:43,520 And it's a wonderful life. 926 00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:47,760 And I have on and I wear a starfish necklace a lot because of the story of the starfish. 927 00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:49,200 I don't know if you're aware of that. 928 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:50,880 No, what's that story? 929 00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:54,120 But a, and it just talks about how many lives you can touch. 930 00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:56,560 You just never know who that one person is. 931 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,440 But this guy was walking down the beach and picking up starfish and throwing them in 932 00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:00,440 the ocean. 933 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,760 And this man came up and he's like, what are you doing? 934 00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:04,200 It's like, I'm saving the starfish. 935 00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:05,720 He goes, there are thousands out here. 936 00:52:05,720 --> 00:52:06,720 How can you make a difference? 937 00:52:06,720 --> 00:52:09,720 And he picked one up and he threw it in the ocean and goes, I made a difference with that 938 00:52:09,720 --> 00:52:10,720 one. 939 00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:14,920 And I just feel like I live, try to live my life that way that, you know, you don't know 940 00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:19,320 what one person you're going to influence by just smiling at or just saying their name 941 00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:23,080 or doing that one thing and being aware of who God's in your surrounding. 942 00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:24,880 And I really think with this podcast. 943 00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:30,880 And as you said, you know, my dad's here for me, like your dad is, and that just paying 944 00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:35,520 attention to watching people on social media, like I've interviewed several people that 945 00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:36,520 I was watching. 946 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,040 I'm like, okay, there's a story behind what she's posting. 947 00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:44,800 And just with you, like I remember it like it was yesterday sitting on my couch and on 948 00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,960 Instagram just scrolling and seeing you. 949 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:49,880 And I'm just like, I'm going to ask the worst thing she can say is no, which is what my 950 00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:53,400 dad always taught me is always asked because she never know. 951 00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:55,880 And I'm so blessed and grateful that you said yes. 952 00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,080 I feel that way too. 953 00:52:58,080 --> 00:52:59,080 So fun. 954 00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:03,320 So, so I always try to circle back to my dad and I would say, you know, what's the connection 955 00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:05,560 my dad and people are like, I didn't know your dad. 956 00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,000 And oh my gosh, so many things that connect. 957 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:12,800 First of all, the connection with your father's list and my father and they sound like they're 958 00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:17,600 probably up in heaven hanging out and having a totally crazy time. 959 00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:19,280 Watch my interview for sure. 960 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:20,280 Exactly. 961 00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:21,560 So my dad was a sailor. 962 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:22,560 He swam. 963 00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:29,320 He, what else I said, teacher story, he always taught with stories. 964 00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:32,240 He definitely thought outside the box. 965 00:53:32,240 --> 00:53:39,920 Pope Francis, who I know you were able to communicate with, which I'm Catholic and my 966 00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:48,960 dad right after he died is when Pope Francis was, I don't say put in office, but and he 967 00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:53,160 was born, I think the same year my dad was in my dad's middle name is Francis. 968 00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:56,760 So my mom's like, that is such a sign. 969 00:53:56,760 --> 00:54:02,320 You know, things you said about your husband just so much like my dad to adventure is take 970 00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:04,680 a chance. 971 00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:08,120 You know, he just he traveled, he did things and I think I do too. 972 00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:11,760 It's like, you know what, I'm just going to do the things because you just never know. 973 00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:16,160 We are not promised tomorrow and we need to live our life and be happy with it. 974 00:54:16,160 --> 00:54:18,160 So what do you think? 975 00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:22,880 I mean, I just, I would say the biggest shift from doing this project and writing this book 976 00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:29,560 for me and what I'm still carrying through my life every day now is that life is a gift. 977 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:34,280 I used to be really afraid of life in some ways because of how my dad died. 978 00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:39,200 And also what I had been told at a very young age about my own limitations and things that 979 00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,520 were stressors for me. 980 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:47,120 So it was like, you know, just try to stay in control, just try to not do too much and 981 00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:51,640 try to avoid getting killed by someone on their phone, you know, like which I was seeing around 982 00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,040 me all the time. 983 00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,880 So it was a very fearful way to be living. 984 00:54:55,880 --> 00:55:00,360 And really my focus was try to accomplish things so people think you were important. 985 00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:03,440 That's really what I wanted to do because I thought my dad died and he hadn't finished 986 00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:04,680 anything. 987 00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:11,320 But doing this list forced me to really like live day to day instead of in that sense of, 988 00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:14,040 okay, how will I remembered 50 years from now. 989 00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:18,560 So when you start choosing to live day to day because you're so engrossed in what you're 990 00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:24,560 doing, everything starts to change because you're actually instead of planning for how 991 00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:29,600 you're going to be alive someday when you actually get to a point where you're happy, 992 00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:32,680 you're choosing to be alive right now. 993 00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:35,880 Because you're just going to take whatever you have within you and use it for what you 994 00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:37,360 have to do. 995 00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:41,400 And that's what I had to start doing if I was going to accomplish this mission. 996 00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:46,760 And now it's become like just habit for me where every day I get to have a chance to 997 00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,760 feel alive and I get to do something that matters. 998 00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:53,840 And that I think is just the greatest gift of it because it's like I'm always thinking 999 00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:57,920 about what would my dad feel about getting to be alive. 1000 00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:59,880 How would he feel about that today? 1001 00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:05,360 As opposed to like I don't ever think anymore about, oh, how sad that he died so young or 1002 00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:07,840 how sad that this happened to my family. 1003 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:12,280 But I look at it as how lucky I was to have him for the amount of time I did. 1004 00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:14,440 And that's the greatest tribute, I think. 1005 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:18,280 Yeah, and you hear people who've lost children are very young and they're like, you know 1006 00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:20,880 what, I was grateful I had him that period. 1007 00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:22,400 And that was supposed to be the time. 1008 00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:27,720 And I always said, because he had this major stroke and he had several health issues after 1009 00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:29,760 a stroke. 1010 00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:32,000 And he was like, I'm not done in this world. 1011 00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:33,920 I've got grandchildren I need to teach. 1012 00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:35,880 God's got bigger plans for me. 1013 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:39,680 And as I said, he lived his life until the minute he died. 1014 00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,840 And even he was diagnosed in October with cancer. 1015 00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:44,600 And we're like, do you really want to go through chemo? 1016 00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:49,720 He's like, heck yeah, like whatever I can do, even though his quality of life wasn't great. 1017 00:56:49,720 --> 00:56:52,480 He was still going to do the things to be here. 1018 00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:53,880 And people would ask, how are you? 1019 00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,120 Because I'm on this side of the grass today. 1020 00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:57,920 Oh, I love that. 1021 00:56:57,920 --> 00:56:58,920 Yeah. 1022 00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,560 I mean, I feel like it's a little different with kids because I mean, I'm not a parent 1023 00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:07,200 myself, so I can't imagine how difficult that is when a child dies. 1024 00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,360 And it's so unnatural seeming. 1025 00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:12,840 And it's like, because you don't feel like there's ever supposed to go before you do. 1026 00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:18,600 So I try to never speak to that because it's like I just, I can't fathom it. 1027 00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:24,760 But I do know that the families that I've met who have had a child die because of a 1028 00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:29,880 distracted driver are just some of the most special people I've ever known. 1029 00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:36,760 And really, it's been a blessing for me to get to learn about their kids because I think 1030 00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:40,560 of my life sometimes as a tribute to those kids. 1031 00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:43,720 The daughter, they didn't get to walk down the aisle. 1032 00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:47,920 The kid who was in journalism school and never got to actually work for a newspaper. 1033 00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:50,800 It's like my life is a tribute to them too. 1034 00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:51,800 Yeah. 1035 00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,520 We just never know. 1036 00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:58,120 We need to live our life and live it the best we can. 1037 00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:04,760 And just like you're doing and I'm doing, be able to have somebody's life that was cut 1038 00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:10,240 short or somebody not even touched on them and my dad, yeah, it was short, but it was 1039 00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:11,880 77, I think. 1040 00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:18,160 But still, to be able to give the tribute and to make a difference because of them. 1041 00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:20,400 And I love one of the things you have as a nonprofit. 1042 00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:21,400 Yeah, that's nuts. 1043 00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:27,680 And that's something I'm very passionate about is being able to give back and make a difference. 1044 00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:28,680 And yeah. 1045 00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:29,680 Yeah. 1046 00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:34,120 I mean, my dad helped me write this book and there are some passages in that book where 1047 00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:39,040 I would write it and I would feel like, oh, I didn't know I could write that. 1048 00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:42,880 Like something had come through me and I really think it was him because he was a writer too. 1049 00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:49,480 So half of the royalties are going to go to a foundation in his name and then I will donate 1050 00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:55,280 to every person who helped me with the list to their personal causes because they helped 1051 00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:56,800 me with mine. 1052 00:58:56,800 --> 00:59:03,680 And yeah, I think, you know, I think that it's important to do that. 1053 00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:07,920 It's important to live for something that's bigger than you and to feel like, you know, 1054 00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:11,600 those are the happiest people, I think, the ones who are doing something that's way bigger 1055 00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:12,600 than themselves. 1056 00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:14,800 Yeah, that's kind of where I feel like I am. 1057 00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:18,280 So, so grateful for you and we will share how to find you in the show notes. 1058 00:59:18,280 --> 00:59:21,480 I'm assuming you can find the book anywhere books are sold. 1059 00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:22,480 Yeah. 1060 00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:23,480 It's my father's list. 1061 00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:29,640 I got mine in Amazon and the next day and super excited to have you on here. 1062 00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:34,080 It's so much fun to get to know you and I'm going to connect you with a couple people 1063 00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:39,200 and hopefully get you down here sometime to do a book reading or something around. 1064 00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,200 Yeah, yeah, I love to do that. 1065 00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:46,640 So I'll share all Laura's contact information, the show notes. 1066 00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:49,520 Is there a favorite way for people to get in touch with you? 1067 00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:52,320 Oh, you can find me. 1068 00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:58,200 I'm my father's list on Instagram and Facebook pretty much everywhere or, you know, my website's 1069 00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,160 good by lauracarni.com. 1070 01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:01,360 You can get the book there. 1071 01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:03,720 You can also email me through there. 1072 01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:05,120 So, perfect. 1073 01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:09,880 And then you can always find the podcast at why not today podcast.com. 1074 01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:14,160 And we do have why not today swag like ups and shirts. 1075 01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:20,560 And as you start to hear, like, encourage yourself daily to remind yourself to say why not today. 1076 01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:22,560 So thanks again, Laura. 1077 01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:26,120 And let's start 2024 strong as you listen to this episode. 1078 01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:28,040 Yeah, do you have your word? 1079 01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:29,600 Did you pick your word? 1080 01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:30,600 I've got a few. 1081 01:00:30,600 --> 01:00:32,080 It hasn't resonated. 1082 01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:33,600 Do you have yours yet? 1083 01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:38,120 Yeah, 2024 is going to be a scary year, I think, because my word is truth. 1084 01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:39,840 Oh, I love that. 1085 01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:40,840 Yeah. 1086 01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:41,960 Okay, well, we'll leave on that note. 1087 01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:42,960 So thanks again. 1088 01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:44,840 Yeah, thank you for having me. 1089 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:45,840 This was really cool. 1090 01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:49,720 It was, they think and remember say why not today? 1091 01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:50,720 Why not today?