Hello, this is Leslie and I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast.
This is a podcast to celebrate people who have been courageous and said,
Why Not Today?
I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often did say,
Why Not Today?
I'm based in Reston, Virginia, a planned community right outside of Washington, D.C.
and thanks for joining us today.
And I have a guest today, Dr. Sherry, who I really don't know well.
I've been on a call with her, but I'm excited to hear the story and
let you guys hear her stories of courage.
So I always like to talk before we get to meet the guest about connections and how we met.
And one of my guests has been on here before, Mary Follily, who was a friend from years ago.
We reconnected a couple of years ago.
She has a podcast.
I have a podcast with guests on each other's podcast.
And we've been like doing calls and sharing ideas.
And one day I was like, I said, I almost feel like I need a coach for my podcast.
She's like, are you asking me?
I'm like, I don't know.
She goes, I have a better idea.
She's like, how about a mastermind?
And so she's like, I've got two friends in mind and I knew somebody.
And so five of us came together and we've had two calls now, but it really feels like God put us together.
And we've got more powerful women in line with what we're all doing.
Different things, but the same.
So I'm super excited to get to know you, Dr. Sherry, and hear more about you and your journey.
So let's start with a quick introduction of you, Dr. Sherry, and fun facts.
And then we'll get into the courage stuff.
Yeah.
Well, Dr. Sherry is really Sherry, a woman just like every other woman, you know,
navigating life, figuring out life, enjoying life.
And now getting in a place in my life where I'm living really, really free.
So that's who I am.
Yeah.
And a fun fact, you know, I was thinking about this and I'm like, I don't really have anything super fun about me.
I think the only thing that, you know, we all have videos, simple C's.
I think for me, it's that I get injured easily.
And so I break bones frequently.
Thank God I haven't broken.
Yeah, I don't know.
I haven't broken anything in recent years, but in my 20s and 30s, I broke something regularly.
Toes, fingers, I broke my hand.
Yeah, walking up the stairs, just walking up the stairs.
You know, not doing anything adventurous.
So that would be the story.
There's stories around that.
Oh, that's funny.
So tell me, what does courage mean to you?
Yeah, that's...
Well, I would say the first thing that I've discovered about courage is that it's not something that you have to get.
It's something you already have.
So I have it.
You have it.
We all have it.
So what it is, is it's a continual alignment of your actions with your convictions.
Oh, I like that.
That's how I see it.
Yeah.
Yeah, so like whatever you, you know, believe in, whatever you feel compelled to do, you know, we all get these things.
And they're things that are in the back of our heads that we're like, they kind of nag at us.
They chew at us a little bit and we tend to because we focus on what we see and what we think we should do, right?
And the right path and all of that.
We tend to kind of stuff it down, but that thing is always there, right?
And so we feel it.
We know it's there.
Courage is taking that thing and making it alive and making choices in the moment that reflect that desire.
That that's the only way that desire gets filled.
Yeah, love that.
I was just listening to a podcast this morning.
Jamie Kern Lima, do you know her?
I'm sure she's the woman that started it Cosmetica.
Okay.
Yeah, she started it and she's got a book coming out about being worthy and she started it because she had Rosacea and she was literally on the news and they were telling her that something was wrong with her face.
So she started a company and everybody told her no.
And she kept persevering and somebody, a big investor said, I think, you know, I'm interested.
But then he said, yeah, based on your body size and the looks of you, you would not be a good person to promote.
And she kept going and she had the courage to like say, you know what?
What she said, God's rejection is God's protection.
And she ended up telling her business to L'Oreal several years later for so many billion dollars.
And she's like the richest woman in the world kind of crazy, just the courage.
Yeah.
So let's hear about you, your journey.
What have you done courageous?
I know you've had a professional career.
Now you're doing a nonprofit.
Yeah.
What are you passionate about?
Tell us about your courage and your journey and.
Um, well, I actually have two stories, but I'll start with this one.
And then if we have time for the other one.
Because I think a lot of times we do compartmentalize as women like professional courage versus personal courage.
And I think, again, they're the same thing, right?
It's just living out what we know to be right and true.
And so when I used to practice as a clinical psychologist, such a privilege, you know,
such a beautiful privilege to be a part of people's lives and to hear their stories and to have them trust you and to have them be vulnerable with you.
Really a beautiful process.
I was good at it.
All of the things it was, um, it was a blessing and I learned a lot.
But what happened is I had a major shift.
Um, and I wouldn't say it's a major shift.
Maybe it was just that the shoulds of who I was supposed to be and how I was supposed to become a clinical psychologist and hang out in your own shingle.
And you're supposed to do all these things.
And I did all of the things.
And then I realized, but wait, this isn't really what I wanted to do.
And so, um, God started bringing to mind that truth, that this wasn't really what I wanted to do, that I wanted to go out and speak and teach.
And I wanted to talk to human beings, like they're human beings, not like their, their science experiments where we have to figure out what's wrong with them.
Right.
And so that's the whole, um, you know, kind of platform of clinical psychology or any therapy work is to find out the problem, name it something, label it something and then treat the problem.
Well, I think we're worth more than that.
I know we're worth more than that.
Um, one, I don't think we're broken.
I don't think there's anything wrong with us in two.
Um, we don't need to be treated.
Right.
We need to be, um, encouraged and reminded that we were created with a specific purpose and the idea is how do I access that, that thing that's nagging and how do I walk in that, right?
Not how do I find out what's wrong with me so I could be like everybody else.
Right.
Um, yeah.
So God brought that to mind and I started having trouble sleeping and at night and I was always high flying when I like something stern and I gotta say yes to something.
Yes.
That's what it is.
And so I just decided I no longer would diagnose people and that eventually led to me shifting my career and shutting down my private practice.
And no longer practicing as a clinical psychologist.
Probably took a lot of courage.
So courage is not, I just kind of address this.
It's not a feeling.
Right.
It's not like, here we go.
Watch me.
Watch me do my thing.
It's not that.
It's, I feel so strongly about this that for me, I wasn't even going to waste my energy considering the consequences of that.
That's awesome.
I had to do it.
And so it was the only way that I could have peace, you know, in my life.
And so that's, that's what the courage is.
It's just the doing.
It's not that you know what you're doing when you're doing.
It's not that you're fearless when you're doing.
It's just the doing of what you feel compelled to do.
And so, yeah, there were a lot of risks.
There are a lot of consequences that came from that, you know, there's this, I think Leslie, I think that we confuse courage with outcomes that are always beneficial.
And those outcomes aren't necessarily being the billionaire seller of IT cosmetics.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's wonderful.
But that's not, that's the outcome that we're looking for that we want to see, you know, what we can see.
We kind of put our trust in what we can see.
But the real outcome, the real outcome of aligning you're doing with what you feel compelled to do with your convictions is the piece that you have from that.
Right.
It's the, it's the fulfillment that you get from that.
And that's something nobody can take from you.
No, absolutely not.
And I totally agree.
You know, when I left corporate America, it was the same kind of thing.
What are you doing?
You have a massive degree and you're going to sell, you know, my full time career selling Mary Kay.
And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to do it.
Right.
And but it gives me joy and fulfillment.
And I love my life and so many people I know now are getting to the age of retirement.
They're like, are you retiring?
And they hate their life.
They hate their job.
No, I love what I do.
You know, it fills my cup and fills other people.
Yeah.
Why not they is doing the same thing?
And that's, I love that you said that, you know, it's, it's, um, I love the question,
why not today?
Because sometimes people will say, I'll wait, right?
Until the timing is right.
Until the ducks are lined up in a row.
The timing is never right.
Nope.
Right.
The timing is never, but the other, the, the Congress of that is, it's too late.
Yeah.
And why not today says, no, it's not.
If I'm right.
If I'm still alive and breathing.
So if you're in retirement age and you hate your job, why not today?
It's not too late to start listening to that thing that's in the back of your
mind, going, go do this.
Right.
And so I have run into a lot of people recreating life and like, okay, what's next?
Yeah.
In the line out today.
And you know, my big why not today that I think I talked about a lot with this was
when I quit my job and a lot of people question it and it wasn't like, has not replaced my
income.
It was like, there is a better world out there.
Yeah.
And literally I made the choice to quit my job, some arbitrary date.
And I just knew I could work hard enough and I could still live.
Six months later, my dad had a major stroke and I was able to be there and I didn't have
to go to work.
I didn't have to report to somebody and I had that flexibility.
It who's, you know, when I made that choice in November, I have no idea what was going
to happen.
That's right.
And, but I did say why not today and I did it and I think, you know, it's the big
thing that's the little things that's listening to your heart.
It's not listening to the world.
I think I'm sure you've got a lot of people in a lot of comments like, what the heck are
you doing?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it was, um, are you okay?
I do too.
Are you okay?
Sherry?
Are you sure Sherry?
You know, and, um, yeah, because when you do go from six figures to four, that's what
happened to me when I followed that conviction and aligned my conviction.
See, it doesn't mean that if you align your convictions with your actions that it's going
to turn out, um, well in terms of material things for you.
But the fulfillment that we were talking about the content and the peace that comes
from that and the knowledge that for me, that I'm, I'm being obedient to God in my
purpose, that the gifting that he gave me that I'm being obedient.
I don't have to worry about that stuff.
Right.
Um, and so I think that the other piece of that.
Of aligning your actions of being courageous is that you don't have to have the whole plan
figured out.
So when I shut down my practice, I really didn't know.
I didn't have clarity.
In fact, I started shutting down my practice in 2016.
I didn't renew my license to practice in 2018 finally.
So there was no more that.
Right.
And then it wasn't until we're in 2023.
It's been the last six months that I have crystal clear clarity on what my it is.
Okay.
So I say that to say that's seven years.
Right.
So when you step out and you start doing, you will get there, but you can't have in
your mind, I'll do it once I have the whole plan figured out because the plan comes to
fruition as you're doing the doing.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
You know, and it's having the faith to say, okay, I'm going to take those little steps
of yes, why not today's?
Yes.
To reach that.
And my guess that I had on two weeks ago was the same kind of thing.
It was a God conviction and you went into a ministry, but that it took probably about
the same time as you, you know, and it takes time.
And when we started this podcast recording, I told you, I don't record, I don't edit it.
I record it.
And it's one of those things actually probably I'll get there, but it's purposely not completely
perfect.
Right.
It's just giving people hope to just do the one thing and take the one step and try the
thing.
Right.
So, and speaking of not perfect, I'm here, how sitting and dog sitting and the dogs usually
sleep all day.
Now it's playing with the toy.
Of course.
And that's the background noise, little jack behind us.
So let's talk about what you're doing and what you left your full time or your practice
for and you can just, and just when we, I just asked you that question, your face lit up.
Yeah.
Well, it's because I'm doing exactly what I know I'm supposed to be doing and all of
my actions are aligned with that.
So there's no gap in between what I want to do and what I am doing.
Right.
That's the problem.
What do you do?
So what I am doing is I have a nonprofit.
It's called thriving thoughts global.
I founded it in the middle of the pandemic in 2020 after I had the courage to leave a
relationship and ended up in the basement of a friend's house.
A lot can happen from the space of darkness for those of you listening.
Yeah.
So I started this nonprofit and the vision is to redefine mental health to teach people
what it is as opposed to what it is not and to teach them that they can build and protect
their own by changing the way that they think.
So I tell people I left team treatment for team prevention.
So that's what the nonprofit is doing.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
So you said you had another story you wanted to share.
Well, I kind of alluded to it.
That was the second courageous thing that I did was I had been in a relationship that
I thought was it.
You know, I thought it was my forever.
I was 40 when I got into the relationship.
We were together almost five years.
We were living together.
I thought this was my it but something in the back of my mind.
And if I'm honest, since year two, maybe the end of year one together, I knew this wasn't it.
Okay.
But everything I did, I tried to make that nag go away and it wouldn't and thank God it
wouldn't thank God it wouldn't.
And so but as this was happening professionally where I was, you know, shutting down my practice
and kind of navigating my path forward started doing some organizational consulting started
doing some thought coaching work as this whole idea of what it looks like to take charge
of your thought space was developing and in improving your mental health.
My relationship was deteriorating because precisely because I was doing that work.
Right.
And so I understood for myself that this was not something that I could stay in.
There was a there was a my own timing to that where I had to come to a place of seeking
and listening and really being ready that come what may this was a decision I needed
to make like the leap I made when I shut down my practice.
This is very different one though, right?
It's your it's it's a it's your heart.
It's a heart leap.
Personal one.
And so I made the decision.
I'm going to have a conversation.
And if I don't hear what I need to hear in this conversation, then I'm going to leave.
And so we have the conversation that night.
I was I couldn't even contain myself.
So I was teaching a college class and I was on my way home from the college class and
I just said, Hey, we need to talk.
I can't wait till we get home.
We need to start talking now and finish the conversation when I got home and I just said,
OK, all right, well, then I'm moving out and within five days.
I had everything moved out.
I was into a friend's basement because I had nowhere to go.
I write my career had ditched.
So I really didn't have a lot financially to go on at the time.
And I had my two big dogs and my friend just happened to say in another conversation entirely,
you can come and stay in my basement and you can bring your two dogs.
And I'm so excited for you.
This is the beginning of a new chapter and it was so awesome.
Got to love those friends too.
Yeah, you have those people in your life that are just there for us.
Yeah.
Let's talk about your nonprofit and how you help people and how how is it
a nonprofit rather than a for-profit?
And I know you're writing a book.
So let's talk about all the things you're doing around that and how you can assist people or.
Yeah, absolutely.
So the nonprofit again is it's all about messaging and awareness.
So it's creating mental health literacy.
It's giving every person the understanding that if you live and breathe and exist,
you have a mental health, right?
Mental health is not reserved for certain people.
So the biggest part of what we do is messaging or redefining it.
We're saying mental health is thinking, feeling and doing on purpose for your benefit and growth.
That's what mental health is.
Mental health is not anxiety.
Mental health is not depression.
That's mental ill health.
Mental health, thinking, feeling and doing on purpose, right?
So self-awareness, being deliberate, being intentional to align your actions with what you say you want.
That's one of our tenants.
We have seven tenants that people can find on the website, by the way, which is thrivingthoughtsglobal.org.
So that's the biggest piece is messaging.
So we do that through billboard campaigns, social media campaigns, YouTube videos.
We're developing a podcast.
All of our messaging is the biggest piece.
And then we narrow that down into having community conversations.
So where we can talk about mental health in the way that we're really talking about mental health.
So we have a gathering called Grounded that I host in Franklin County, Pennsylvania,
where I am once a month at a coffee shop and people are welcome to come.
That information is on the website.
Welcome to come.
And we just have conversations.
I ask questions and it gets people to think differently.
So that's taking that messaging and starting to apply it now personally.
And then the next level of work that we offer is online courses.
Those will be launching in 2024.
And the first online course.
So these are courses that are for highly targeted audiences to who are going through certain experiences
to give them the tools to thrive to grow through these experiences that they go through,
as opposed to coping with or managing.
And so the first one that we're developing is based on my first solo book,
which was Breakup Breakthroughs.
That's available on Amazon.
If anybody wants to check that out.
That was written in my friend's basement after I left.
And it's 10 questions to ask and answer so you can thrive in the trauma of a relationship breakup.
So that will be the first one that we're doing,
but there will be other ones that will be about your spouse's diagnosed or and or maybe dies with brain cancer.
You are moving in your child is having trouble adjusting to school like just normal life stuff that we go through
that when we respond to it with intense feelings,
we can sometimes based on the current mental health system structure,
we can sometimes say there must be something wrong with me.
Right. There's nothing wrong with you.
You're human.
You're responding to this in a normal way.
And then the very, very base level of what we do,
the most narrow point of service provision is thought coaching.
And right now I provide that that's virtual.
It's individual.
That's also the highest cost, right?
So all of the messaging and the awareness and the education, all that is free.
But you get down to the individual level and that's that's a cost to the consumer.
And I do that right now, but the eventual goal is I will be training certifying T.T.G.
certified thought coaches who will be able to then go and do that as well.
So that's how we redefine mental health and teach you to prioritize your own.
Love that.
And I love the thrive component that, you know, we're not just surviving, but we're thriving.
I had a conversation with somebody recently who unfortunately think it was more evidence,
more often I've heard of relationships that have kind of fallen up, crumbled or stopped during COVID.
And I think it was realization like, okay, what am I doing?
Like, let's reevaluate life listening to ourselves.
But I was talking to somebody who they never had children and her husband was very much
introverted and they did everything pretty much themselves.
And so she looked at me.
She's like, she asked me a question I never had anybody asked me how to do escape marriage.
I'm like, okay, nobody's ever asked me that.
But she's learning how to be friends and have friends and have those relationships with people
not in like a long term loving marriage relationship, but friends.
And because I've never been married, I've got a great group of friends and I'm talking
to somebody else recently divorced and she's like, need to talk about how do you thrive being single?
Like the world tells us, you know, we have to be married, have to be in this relationship.
But, you know, you can thrive in all areas of your life.
And I love that you're addressing that and talking about it.
And it's such a big need.
I've interviewed somebody else on this.
Laura Hayes and she talked about she's got a group called Brave Girl Project.
Okay.
Teenagers and teenage girls and starting young.
And that's one of my passions with Mary Kay also is to help the young girls teach them how to take
care of their skin and teach them how to feel good about themselves.
Yeah.
Like girl self-esteem they said is highest at age 10, which is really scary.
I think it's probably or I mean, it's probably earlier now.
If I look back at my own story, I went on my first diet diet like saltine crackers, cottage cheese,
tuna fish, right at eight.
Yeah.
So and that was back in the eighties.
Yeah.
Just crazy.
So yeah, I love what you're doing and helping people.
And when we're before we're done, I'll have you share how people can get in touch with you.
I've gone on your website, but I haven't dived deep into it, but I'm going to.
And I think we've got lots of great resources and connections.
I knew I wanted you to be on here just to share your story.
So let's talk about how do you encourage other people to be courageous to do the things to listen to their
heart and their God calling.
Yeah.
The first thing that I do as a thought coach as a messenger of all of this is understanding that the
first thing you have to do is be honest with yourself.
And if you can't be honest with yourself, you're never going to.
You're never going to fulfill your God given purpose because the way I describe it is we spend,
especially as women, we spend, if you look back to when you were a little girl, you will see.
Who you are.
You will see who you are.
The person you are.
For me, I hid myself away.
I recorded myself like I was speaking to people.
I wrote stories.
I entered them into contest.
I mean, I was a speaker, a writer, all of that before I came back to being that.
And when we look back at who, yeah, when we look back at who we were when we were a little girl,
we see a lot of who God designed us to be.
But then what we do is we start piling on all of these shoulds and they're like layers, right?
And then we get older and then we start to realize, wait, that's not part of me.
Okay, let me take that off.
Wait, that's not part of me.
Okay, let me take that off.
And but the only way to do that is to start investigating.
Is this really me or is this who I think I should be?
Is this who somebody has told me to be?
Right?
Like where am I?
Where am I getting my ideas?
Where am I getting my worth?
Where am I?
When I go out, am I looking to get somebody's feedback, right?
Or am I looking to be me?
So it's a bit, that's essentially how I do it.
I get people to be honest with themselves by asking them questions that get them to think differently.
And I'll leave you with this very, very short one.
When you say, I have to do something, my question is, do you have to?
Where?
The answer always.
Always.
Don't challenge me.
If you're going to be wrong, the answer is always no.
Right.
But as soon as we can be honest with ourselves and say, I choose to, then we can start evaluating.
Why am I choosing?
Yeah.
Do I want to choose that?
Right?
Yeah.
You know, I do these to share with people and give people hope and share people's stories.
But really, I think I get more happy than anybody else.
Taking pages of notes and like, all right, some things I was struggling with last night thinking about.
You just gave me lots of confirmation.
So thank you.
Oh, good.
Thank you for your questions.
Nothing wrong.
There's lots that, you know, following our dreams.
Yes.
You know, and that's what I'm doing with this.
Yeah.
Excited about touching lives and helping people and all the people that God has just putting in my path that
send their visions and hearing people's stories.
I'm like, oh my goodness, we have to share your story.
Just so many cool stories and people.
Thank you for making a platform for us to be able to do that and share with one another and encourage.
I mean, I think that's, that's courageous, right?
Is sharing your story, especially in the space that we call the in between, right?
Because like my nonprofit isn't what I envision it to be, but it is exactly as it should be right now because I'm showing up in it every day.
Right.
And I still have ideas and I still have big things that we want to accomplish, but I don't need to be at the I sold my, my nonprofit is impacting billions of people across the globe place to share my story of courage.
And I say that to say, we don't need success stories.
We need courage stories in the in between.
So thank you for providing a space for that.
My pleasure.
And, you know, and I think the thing that attracted me to this story that it cosmetics is not the billion dollar sale, but she's writing this book about being worthy.
Yeah.
And all the things that she was told she couldn't or all the self-worth things.
And like this book, she's writing 100% of the profits are going to charity.
And, you know, she's using her message for good.
Yeah.
And it's, you know, those courageous steps.
Yeah.
One thing after the other.
And that's right.
One step in front of the other and you don't need to know what comes next, but you can't stop.
Yeah.
Just taking those steps and realizing I'm going to share this lot.
I wear a starfish neck necklace often.
Do you know the story of the starfish?
No.
This guy was walking down the beach and if you listen to this podcast, you probably heard me tell you many times, but this guy was walking on the beach and picking up starfish and throwing him in the ocean and picking up starfish and throwing him in the ocean.
And they're like, what are you doing? Because I'm saving the starfish because there's thousands here. You will never make a difference.
And he picks one up and throws it in the water and said, I made a difference with that one.
Yeah.
I just feel like every day that we can just make a difference in one person's life.
Yeah.
Maybe it's just their own.
And that's right.
You know, and you never know the ripple effect and the person you meet and just how I connect with you.
Yes.
And from Mary, who I met years ago, I totally loved touch with and it was, you know, a God moment that I was driving through Richmond and I was just reached out for him like, huh, you want me for coffee?
And it reconnected us and so many things in my life have happened because of that one thing.
So I really try to listen to that voice and it sounds like you do too.
God's voice does do this thing.
I have a courage to say, you know, why not today?
That's right.
Yeah.
So thank you so much for being on.
Anything else you want to share before we end this?
How do people find you and connect with you?
And I will share it in the show notes.
Yeah.
So check us out.
ThrivingThoughtsGlobal.org.
We're at Thriving Thoughts Global on all the social channels, LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube.
Yeah.
Keep an eye out for us there.
If you want to follow me personally and learn more about my personal ministry, which is helping women who are professing believers.
To take every thought captive.
You can follow me at doctor.shirryspeaks on Instagram or at Dr.
Sherry on Facebook.
Okay.
I'm going to follow all those things in and you're writing a book too.
Yep.
That's my personal ministry.
It's called mindset of the redeemed.
You know, people keep saying I should do that and that is just not something I feel called to do, but maybe one day.
You know, that.
So, well, you can find the Why Not Today podcast on all the platforms and a website, whynottodaypodcast.com.
I have Why Not Today swag, which I really want to share the message that people encouraging other people.
So we have stickers and vinyls and cups and t-shirts to share the mission.
And I think we're going to have some other things coming.
So you can find all those things on the website and feel free.
We'd love to have you review it, like it, share it and just rate the podcast and share with other people.
And I'd love to hear if you're listening to podcasts, what you learned.
So Sherry, thank you so much for joining us.
Thank you.
And I'm looking forward to getting to know you better and maybe when your book's out, we'll have you back on.
We love it.
Thank you.
All right.
Thanks, everyone.
All right.
And goodbye.