WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.500 Hey y 'all, welcome to Questions You Didn't Ask. 00:00:02.839 --> 00:00:07.179 Did you know that this very spot could be showcasing 00:00:07.179 --> 00:00:10.320 your business or event? Whether it's an audio 00:00:10.320 --> 00:00:14.460 ad on our podcast, or a visual ad on our new 00:00:14.460 --> 00:00:18.100 YouTube station, or even both, we've got the 00:00:18.100 --> 00:00:21.620 space for you. Nyesha Frey Consulting is reaching 00:00:21.620 --> 00:00:24.420 a growing audience of over a thousand leaders 00:00:24.420 --> 00:00:27.839 who are passionate about health equity, social 00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:32.070 justice, and civil rights activism. These are 00:00:32.070 --> 00:00:35.329 professionals just like you working across higher 00:00:35.329 --> 00:00:40.409 education, research, healthcare, nonprofit, government, 00:00:40.590 --> 00:00:44.030 and even public health sectors. If you're ready 00:00:44.030 --> 00:00:46.630 to get your message in front of a dedicated and 00:00:46.630 --> 00:00:52.469 engaged audience, send me an email at naishafrayconsultingllc 00:00:52.469 --> 00:00:57.149 at gmail .com. Let's talk about how we can help 00:00:57.149 --> 00:00:59.710 you connect with the people who need to hear 00:00:59.710 --> 00:01:02.829 about your services and products that advance 00:01:02.829 --> 00:01:06.969 health equity and wellness. Don't miss out. Get 00:01:06.969 --> 00:01:09.269 in the mix and let's make an impact together. 00:01:21.409 --> 00:01:24.069 Welcome back to Questions You Didn't Ask with 00:01:24.069 --> 00:01:27.109 me, Naisha Frey, and my guests, Melba Perry and 00:01:27.109 --> 00:01:29.930 Jessica Burris. As we continue the series from 00:01:29.930 --> 00:01:33.010 birth to beyond, unveiling challenges of maternal 00:01:33.010 --> 00:01:35.870 and infant health. Let's get back into the discussion. 00:01:36.209 --> 00:01:39.189 And I just love the fact that, you know, like 00:01:39.189 --> 00:01:41.629 I mentioned, all three of us have lived experience. 00:01:41.750 --> 00:01:44.769 And I just want to speak to a little bit of my 00:01:44.769 --> 00:01:47.620 lived experience that I think. really helped 00:01:47.620 --> 00:01:50.079 enrich our conversation when we first met and 00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:52.500 started sharing so much about, you know, what 00:01:52.500 --> 00:01:54.680 our journeys had been like and things that we 00:01:54.680 --> 00:01:58.140 had in common and unique things. And that was, 00:01:58.140 --> 00:02:01.239 you know, similar to you, Jessica, I listened 00:02:01.239 --> 00:02:04.599 to my mom talk about, you know, her experiences 00:02:04.599 --> 00:02:08.280 breastfeeding. And I always listened to my mom 00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:13.340 also talk about. her experiences or her values 00:02:13.340 --> 00:02:18.319 around nutrition and enrichment and recognizing 00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:21.139 that everything that's on the shelf in the grocery 00:02:21.139 --> 00:02:24.139 store is not always good for you, right? And 00:02:24.139 --> 00:02:27.719 how to be a thoughtful consumer, even though 00:02:27.719 --> 00:02:33.620 we were low income, we were poor, right? And 00:02:33.620 --> 00:02:38.169 how to make the best. you know, and eat the best 00:02:38.169 --> 00:02:41.569 that you can and why that's important. And so, 00:02:41.569 --> 00:02:44.090 you know, she used to make a comment about how 00:02:44.090 --> 00:02:46.969 my sister was a good breastfeeder, but I never 00:02:46.969 --> 00:02:50.229 took to it. Right. And so when I became a mother, 00:02:50.330 --> 00:02:54.210 I always wanted to breastfeed. And I was fortunate 00:02:54.210 --> 00:02:59.150 that. you know, my doctors and nurses and everyone 00:02:59.150 --> 00:03:02.210 that surrounded me on my journey. And I like, 00:03:02.250 --> 00:03:05.349 I think each one of us on this call was considered 00:03:05.349 --> 00:03:07.849 a high risk pregnancy. And I had a child with 00:03:07.849 --> 00:03:10.830 a genetic disorder and a congenital heart defect. 00:03:11.090 --> 00:03:13.469 And so they were sharing with me about the benefits, 00:03:13.530 --> 00:03:16.229 of course, of breastfeeding, but they never really 00:03:16.229 --> 00:03:19.550 talked about what some of the challenges might 00:03:19.550 --> 00:03:22.719 be with breastfeeding. And so for me, when I 00:03:22.719 --> 00:03:25.939 had my baby and it was so exciting and it was 00:03:25.939 --> 00:03:29.620 also very stressful and it was my first time 00:03:29.620 --> 00:03:36.520 trying to feed her and she was not able to latch. 00:03:37.180 --> 00:03:40.719 And then when she did latch, I wasn't producing 00:03:40.719 --> 00:03:44.379 enough milk. And so then I was doing different 00:03:44.379 --> 00:03:47.439 things to try to help produce enough milk. And 00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:50.300 I remember my pediatrician, again, so fortunate. 00:03:50.830 --> 00:03:55.229 was very supportive of me. And our practice had 00:03:55.229 --> 00:03:58.449 a lactation consultant available for me to go 00:03:58.449 --> 00:04:01.469 and visit. And I went and visited and they called 00:04:01.469 --> 00:04:03.889 and I went and visited and they checked up and 00:04:03.889 --> 00:04:06.710 they did all these things. And I just remember 00:04:06.710 --> 00:04:10.150 coming to a point where, you know, I started 00:04:10.150 --> 00:04:13.889 to get really depressed and sad and question 00:04:13.889 --> 00:04:19.339 my body and wonder like, what was wrong. I deal 00:04:19.339 --> 00:04:22.839 with anxiety. So that really heightened my anxiety 00:04:22.839 --> 00:04:25.620 that I wasn't able to produce as much and that 00:04:25.620 --> 00:04:29.420 I was having to use formula to supplement and 00:04:29.420 --> 00:04:31.800 different things like that. And at the same time, 00:04:31.800 --> 00:04:34.879 I was in graduate school in the School of Public 00:04:34.879 --> 00:04:37.839 Health and studying health behavior and reading 00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:40.579 all this stuff about how important it is to feed 00:04:40.579 --> 00:04:45.069 your child. And so then I got frustrated. And 00:04:45.069 --> 00:04:48.949 I said, well, why isn't anybody empathizing with 00:04:48.949 --> 00:04:53.529 the moms who want to but can't? Because there 00:04:53.529 --> 00:04:56.550 was usually an assumption that if a mom didn't 00:04:56.550 --> 00:04:58.930 breastfeed, it was because she wanted to give 00:04:58.930 --> 00:05:02.629 her child, you know, formula or that she was 00:05:02.629 --> 00:05:06.389 ashamed of her body or that she hadn't been raised 00:05:06.389 --> 00:05:09.170 in a situation that, you know, culturally supported 00:05:09.170 --> 00:05:12.009 her. That wasn't any of the case. But no one 00:05:12.009 --> 00:05:16.529 ever really talked about. moms who physically 00:05:16.529 --> 00:05:20.449 had challenges with breastfeeding, whose child 00:05:20.449 --> 00:05:24.269 was physically able to latch, but just was not 00:05:24.269 --> 00:05:27.750 interested. And so I revisited the conversation 00:05:27.750 --> 00:05:30.410 that I had overheard my mom telling me, and we 00:05:30.410 --> 00:05:32.709 really engaged in that conversation about how 00:05:32.709 --> 00:05:36.660 I didn't prefer. the breast. And so I just am 00:05:36.660 --> 00:05:38.959 always thinking about, again, my show is questions 00:05:38.959 --> 00:05:40.920 you didn't ask. I'm thinking about the exceptions. 00:05:41.100 --> 00:05:42.860 I'm thinking about the outliers. I'm thinking 00:05:42.860 --> 00:05:45.139 about the disparities, the people that are left 00:05:45.139 --> 00:05:47.399 out. What are your thoughts? We're going to talk 00:05:47.399 --> 00:05:49.199 about so many different things today, but what 00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:52.079 are your thoughts and feedback for, and this 00:05:52.079 --> 00:05:53.740 is for you too, Melba, but I'm going to start 00:05:53.740 --> 00:05:57.000 with Jessica, for moms who were in a position 00:05:57.000 --> 00:06:00.600 like me, what types of advice do you give or 00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:05.329 insight can you share? Well, like I said, breastfeeding 00:06:05.329 --> 00:06:09.569 with it just came. I just never had any issues 00:06:09.569 --> 00:06:13.850 with it. So I didn't know I was so far removed 00:06:13.850 --> 00:06:17.410 from like the problems and the barriers. Well, 00:06:17.509 --> 00:06:19.829 not the barriers. Let me let me go back. But 00:06:19.829 --> 00:06:22.410 just the issues people might have with breastfeeding. 00:06:22.509 --> 00:06:25.350 So when I became a counselor and did some training, 00:06:25.509 --> 00:06:29.509 I just it was so eye opening. But I just that 00:06:29.509 --> 00:06:32.709 made me want to like. just help even more the 00:06:32.709 --> 00:06:36.410 more I learned about it. So even, and I'm not 00:06:36.410 --> 00:06:39.329 trying to sound like, like you said, your mom 00:06:39.329 --> 00:06:42.649 said that you didn't take to the breast that 00:06:42.649 --> 00:06:46.470 you might not have taken to the breast, but with 00:06:46.470 --> 00:06:49.089 more support and just a little bit of like help 00:06:49.089 --> 00:06:52.589 or, you know, like educational latching or holding 00:06:52.589 --> 00:06:55.569 you to make it better for you, your mouth. The 00:06:55.569 --> 00:06:59.110 reason why I say that is because it is. We were 00:06:59.110 --> 00:07:02.029 literally that that's that's how we were built, 00:07:02.089 --> 00:07:04.790 like from God, you know, like like animals to 00:07:04.790 --> 00:07:08.689 breastfeed. So there are issues, but there's 00:07:08.689 --> 00:07:12.410 ways to fix those issues. And even if a baby 00:07:12.410 --> 00:07:14.790 has a tongue tie or a lip tie and they literally 00:07:14.790 --> 00:07:18.389 cannot suck. There needs to be better support 00:07:18.389 --> 00:07:22.949 for moms to have to pump, you know, to do that, 00:07:23.089 --> 00:07:25.250 especially because most moms, if they're trying 00:07:25.250 --> 00:07:30.220 to breastfeed, they want to breastfeed. So with 00:07:30.220 --> 00:07:33.779 young moms, my experience with counseling young 00:07:33.779 --> 00:07:36.959 moms, they're so inexperienced as a mother period, 00:07:37.040 --> 00:07:39.399 because this is usually their first baby. If 00:07:39.399 --> 00:07:42.199 they, within the first two weeks, if they're 00:07:42.199 --> 00:07:43.740 not, if it's not working for them and they're 00:07:43.740 --> 00:07:46.540 not seeing, you know, like a good breastfeeding 00:07:46.540 --> 00:07:50.620 situation going on, they are only worried about 00:07:50.620 --> 00:07:52.180 feeding their baby, make sure their baby gets 00:07:52.180 --> 00:07:55.610 food. they can, they'll get the formula and they 00:07:55.610 --> 00:07:57.550 can watch the milk go from the bottle to the 00:07:57.550 --> 00:08:00.310 baby. And that puts them at ease. And I totally 00:08:00.310 --> 00:08:02.790 understand that, but that's where, you know, 00:08:02.810 --> 00:08:04.949 there needs to be more support and more hands 00:08:04.949 --> 00:08:07.230 on support because they did want to breastfeed. 00:08:07.370 --> 00:08:11.870 And really, if a baby does latch, if it's going 00:08:11.870 --> 00:08:16.139 good in the long run. it's going to, you're going 00:08:16.139 --> 00:08:18.399 to, it's going to be better. I'm going to say 00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:20.680 like, it's just easier if you get a good breastfeeding 00:08:20.680 --> 00:08:23.019 thing going on, you know, you're not washing 00:08:23.019 --> 00:08:25.620 bottles and it's just, you could sleep better 00:08:25.620 --> 00:08:27.639 at night, but I just think there needs to be 00:08:27.639 --> 00:08:31.319 more support and education because another thing 00:08:31.319 --> 00:08:35.580 too, a lot of moms are under the impression from 00:08:35.580 --> 00:08:37.580 my experience of working with these young moms. 00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:40.100 They think that they're going to just have a 00:08:40.100 --> 00:08:42.059 baby and the baby's going to latch and they're 00:08:42.059 --> 00:08:43.899 just going to be having tons and tons of milk. 00:08:44.100 --> 00:08:46.919 That part. That's not true. And so when they 00:08:46.919 --> 00:08:48.919 don't see a bunch of milk coming out of them 00:08:48.919 --> 00:08:52.360 and they just think that they always say, you 00:08:52.360 --> 00:08:54.139 always hear people, well, I wasn't making enough 00:08:54.139 --> 00:08:57.159 milk. If it was within the first week, you weren't 00:08:57.159 --> 00:08:59.779 supposed to make enough milk. You're making just 00:08:59.779 --> 00:09:02.100 enough for your baby's little bitty belly because 00:09:02.100 --> 00:09:03.879 your body knows what your baby needs. That's 00:09:03.879 --> 00:09:06.549 how God made us or God or, you know. i'm not 00:09:06.549 --> 00:09:10.149 trying but anyway yeah you're fine jessica our 00:09:10.149 --> 00:09:14.889 creator right our creator yes yes we are like 00:09:14.889 --> 00:09:17.309 that's literally how we were made if you think 00:09:17.309 --> 00:09:21.429 about 500 years ago there was no formula there 00:09:21.429 --> 00:09:24.710 was no you know you you made it happen and there 00:09:24.710 --> 00:09:27.029 was but there was more community and there was 00:09:27.029 --> 00:09:29.929 more support and more and more people looking 00:09:29.929 --> 00:09:33.690 out for each other you know but now there's there's 00:09:33.690 --> 00:09:37.539 a lack of that And then over the years where 00:09:37.539 --> 00:09:39.860 Black women, and this is another thing too, Black 00:09:39.860 --> 00:09:45.460 women fed this, the people who built this, you 00:09:45.460 --> 00:09:48.840 know, America pretty much. So that, you know, 00:09:48.840 --> 00:09:52.799 you've heard the stories about how they sacrificed 00:09:52.799 --> 00:09:57.059 their own, you know, to feed the other. And then 00:09:57.059 --> 00:10:00.899 when formula came out and you look back and it 00:10:00.899 --> 00:10:04.480 was, it was severely. strategically marketed 00:10:04.480 --> 00:10:07.960 to a certain community of people. It just became 00:10:07.960 --> 00:10:12.320 easier for moms to work and to have formula. 00:10:12.539 --> 00:10:17.299 Companies, they make so much money off of formula. 00:10:17.360 --> 00:10:19.279 It's ridiculous. That's why the World Health 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:23.779 Organization got involved to limit their promotion 00:10:23.779 --> 00:10:29.190 of formula to society. it was hindering people 00:10:29.190 --> 00:10:31.309 wanting to breastfeed because the World Health 00:10:31.309 --> 00:10:33.950 Organization knows that breastfeeding is best 00:10:33.950 --> 00:10:38.870 to make a healthy child. So it's just a lot of 00:10:38.870 --> 00:10:42.590 moving parts that it came at me all at once. 00:10:42.690 --> 00:10:45.470 Like when I became the peer counselor, I never 00:10:45.470 --> 00:10:49.250 gave any thought to all this stuff. So when I 00:10:49.250 --> 00:10:52.809 did, it was like, I don't know, it was like on 00:10:52.809 --> 00:10:54.429 a high, like, oh my gosh, you know, I learned 00:10:54.429 --> 00:10:57.279 this and I can't believe this. It was just amazing. 00:10:57.460 --> 00:11:02.179 The most part was I also saw how it affected 00:11:02.179 --> 00:11:05.659 mainly the black community because I come from 00:11:05.659 --> 00:11:08.240 a very rural place, too. And it's pretty much 00:11:08.240 --> 00:11:11.460 50 50. But with the low income clinic where I 00:11:11.460 --> 00:11:17.019 worked, it was mostly black moms. And it's not 00:11:17.019 --> 00:11:20.679 just through the doctor's offices or the hospitals. 00:11:20.779 --> 00:11:22.919 It's also at home, the lack of support at home. 00:11:24.620 --> 00:11:27.480 I really appreciate what you shared because, 00:11:27.559 --> 00:11:30.519 and I'm going to go to Melba in just a moment 00:11:30.519 --> 00:11:32.259 because I believe that she probably has some 00:11:32.259 --> 00:11:35.419 rich insight as well. If you're enjoying the 00:11:35.419 --> 00:11:38.399 show as much as we love creating it, consider 00:11:38.399 --> 00:11:41.820 showing your support by buying us a cup of coffee. 00:11:42.139 --> 00:11:47.720 Visit buymeacoffee .com slash Nyesha Frey O. 00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:55.049 That's buymeacoffee .com forward slash. Naisha 00:11:55.049 --> 00:12:00.490 Frey, oh, all one word. Each cup is just $5 and 00:12:00.490 --> 00:12:03.669 every single one helps us continue to produce, 00:12:03.990 --> 00:12:07.210 develop, and sustain the high quality content 00:12:07.210 --> 00:12:10.309 you've come to expect from questions you didn't 00:12:10.309 --> 00:12:13.590 ask. Thank you for your continued support and 00:12:13.590 --> 00:12:16.970 let's keep the conversation going. But for me, 00:12:17.029 --> 00:12:20.730 it was this feeling that, well, they literally 00:12:20.730 --> 00:12:23.789 had measuring cups. You know, I was pumping and... 00:12:24.159 --> 00:12:26.299 You know, we were measuring how much I was giving 00:12:26.299 --> 00:12:29.620 and then supplementing whatever was needed with 00:12:29.620 --> 00:12:34.200 formula. And so, like you mentioned, historically, 00:12:34.340 --> 00:12:38.240 community -wise, there was different levels of 00:12:38.240 --> 00:12:42.419 support for moms to help fill that gap, right? 00:12:42.580 --> 00:12:48.759 And so that kind of leads me into where I want 00:12:48.759 --> 00:12:52.940 Melba to talk some more about. Different challenges 00:12:52.940 --> 00:12:56.200 that moms might be having with breastfeeding 00:12:56.200 --> 00:12:58.960 and why, you know, breastfeeding and breastfeeding 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:04.019 support is so important. So Jessica hits like 00:13:04.019 --> 00:13:10.519 so many, so many key points when it comes to 00:13:10.519 --> 00:13:14.519 the support. And, you know, when you don't have 00:13:14.519 --> 00:13:19.529 support at home or. wasn't giving like you, thank 00:13:19.529 --> 00:13:23.450 God you had it set up where the IBCLC called 00:13:23.450 --> 00:13:26.409 and checked on you, see how it was doing and 00:13:26.409 --> 00:13:29.509 following up with you because they knew you wanted 00:13:29.509 --> 00:13:32.669 to breastfeed. Everybody don't get that opportunity, 00:13:32.929 --> 00:13:36.350 especially in rural areas. And that's where doulas 00:13:36.350 --> 00:13:39.850 come in. Community -based doulas, we don't just, 00:13:40.169 --> 00:13:44.039 you know, okay. You had your baby. We're going 00:13:44.039 --> 00:13:46.379 to see you one time postpartum and that's it. 00:13:46.700 --> 00:13:50.980 We continue to follow up with you. We make sure, 00:13:51.139 --> 00:13:55.620 hey, how are you doing? There's a piece where 00:13:55.620 --> 00:13:58.980 there is some lactation training to help support 00:13:58.980 --> 00:14:01.960 moms during that process. Like, are you having 00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:04.700 trouble with breastfeeding? What are the troubles 00:14:04.700 --> 00:14:08.139 you're having? And how are you doing throughout 00:14:08.139 --> 00:14:13.450 the night? So it's like doulas help in that aspect 00:14:13.450 --> 00:14:16.889 when it comes to breastfeeding support, because 00:14:16.889 --> 00:14:21.190 a lot of times you get trained in how to support 00:14:21.190 --> 00:14:24.850 moms that want to breastfeed. And it is difficult 00:14:24.850 --> 00:14:27.769 when you're a new mom and you go home and all 00:14:27.769 --> 00:14:30.929 you think about is breastfeeding and you're like, 00:14:31.070 --> 00:14:33.769 okay, I'm not producing enough milk. Like Jessica 00:14:33.769 --> 00:14:35.950 said, how much milk do you think you're supposed 00:14:35.950 --> 00:14:41.259 to produce? Your baby's stomach is no bigger 00:14:41.259 --> 00:14:45.659 than their is pretty much balled up. So that 00:14:45.659 --> 00:14:49.440 helps out also. We don't just stop at the hospital. 00:14:49.519 --> 00:14:52.980 We follow you through postpartum. And a lot of 00:14:52.980 --> 00:14:55.200 times people don't realize if you're stressed 00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:59.500 out, that can affect your milk production. Like 00:14:59.500 --> 00:15:01.980 if you're stressed, you're not going to produce 00:15:01.980 --> 00:15:05.580 the milk that you need. It's just like if you're 00:15:05.580 --> 00:15:08.899 stressed out. Sometimes you're hungry. Sometimes 00:15:08.899 --> 00:15:10.799 you're so stressed out you don't want to eat. 00:15:10.940 --> 00:15:14.840 It kind of goes hand in hand. So you have to 00:15:14.840 --> 00:15:20.360 think about that also. And when I think about 00:15:20.360 --> 00:15:26.120 breastfeeding and lactation, I always say to 00:15:26.120 --> 00:15:29.159 my clients, you know, we're the only animals 00:15:29.159 --> 00:15:36.889 that feed our kids another animal's milk. You 00:15:36.889 --> 00:15:40.529 don't see a cow going to a goat and asking a 00:15:40.529 --> 00:15:45.049 goat to feed my child and vice versa. So why 00:15:45.049 --> 00:15:50.570 are we feeding our kids another animal's milk 00:15:50.570 --> 00:15:54.149 when, like Jessica said, the most high, whoever 00:15:54.149 --> 00:15:59.710 you worship created you to do this. And then 00:15:59.710 --> 00:16:02.529 there's other ways. Like, okay, say, for instance, 00:16:02.690 --> 00:16:07.529 you're not able to produce enough milk. or there's 00:16:07.529 --> 00:16:10.649 a medical issue why you can't breastfeed, there's 00:16:10.649 --> 00:16:14.269 donor milk. You can go get some human donor milk. 00:16:14.409 --> 00:16:16.230 They're like, you're going to get somebody else's 00:16:16.230 --> 00:16:18.769 milk, another human milk? Well, you go to the 00:16:18.769 --> 00:16:22.169 store and you buy cow milk off the shelf. You 00:16:22.169 --> 00:16:27.950 don't question that cow milk. Yes. I mean, you 00:16:27.950 --> 00:16:30.629 ain't question that powdered milk that's in that 00:16:30.629 --> 00:16:35.860 can. what is that powder actually made out of 00:16:35.860 --> 00:16:40.000 you know you're questioning powder you're questioning 00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:46.840 human milk that another human made that you know 00:16:46.840 --> 00:16:50.840 feeds another child which could be your baby 00:16:50.840 --> 00:16:54.039 but you don't question the powder milk you don't 00:16:54.039 --> 00:16:57.120 question the cow's milk but you question human 00:16:57.120 --> 00:17:01.679 donor milk Yes. And what I wanted to add was 00:17:01.679 --> 00:17:06.200 there are some women, unlike me, who overproduce. 00:17:06.200 --> 00:17:08.180 And when I say overproduce, I'm just meaning 00:17:08.180 --> 00:17:11.400 in terms of there's no good or bad, right? I'm 00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:14.779 not trying to put any value on that. But women 00:17:14.779 --> 00:17:17.160 who produce a lot more milk than what their baby 00:17:17.160 --> 00:17:20.380 needs. So it's so interesting, you know, talking 00:17:20.380 --> 00:17:23.549 about the creator, how we were made. If people 00:17:23.549 --> 00:17:26.690 want to talk about biology and nature and science 00:17:26.690 --> 00:17:29.190 and all that other stuff, there's always a balance. 00:17:30.470 --> 00:17:36.250 And where there's one who is not able to do or 00:17:36.250 --> 00:17:40.970 have enough, there's usually someone who has 00:17:40.970 --> 00:17:44.589 more than enough. And I think that that's a very 00:17:44.589 --> 00:17:49.170 interesting conversation. To consider when, like 00:17:49.170 --> 00:17:51.829 you said, there are resources that are out there, 00:17:51.910 --> 00:17:53.930 questions that we didn't ask. There's a lot of 00:17:53.930 --> 00:17:57.930 women that don't even know that you can get human 00:17:57.930 --> 00:18:01.130 breast milk for your child as an alternative. 00:18:01.750 --> 00:18:04.789 You want to know something? What's that? This 00:18:04.789 --> 00:18:07.029 is crazy. And this kind of puts things in perspective. 00:18:07.950 --> 00:18:11.289 If there's a there's a word and I cannot think 00:18:11.289 --> 00:18:13.829 of it, it's a long word, but it starts with something. 00:18:14.490 --> 00:18:19.519 But if a baby is so. so many weeks or months 00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:23.059 premature, they can't have formula. It will kill 00:18:23.059 --> 00:18:28.519 them. Hospitals keep donor milk just for babies 00:18:28.519 --> 00:18:31.859 that are born too early or a certain amount of 00:18:31.859 --> 00:18:35.119 weeks or months early because there's a word 00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:39.880 for it. Necrotizing enterocolitis. That's it. 00:18:40.039 --> 00:18:42.700 If that doesn't put things in perspective for 00:18:42.700 --> 00:18:48.299 you, how beneficial breast milk is as opposed 00:18:48.299 --> 00:18:51.160 to formula. And I'm not talking junk about formula. 00:18:51.339 --> 00:18:55.279 We've all, I mean, I had formula, but the thing 00:18:55.279 --> 00:18:58.880 is, is it was mind blowing the way breastfeeding 00:18:58.880 --> 00:19:05.900 works with how you recover from pregnancy. It's, 00:19:05.900 --> 00:19:09.200 it's that I couldn't believe it when I had my 00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:11.990 son and I was breastfeeding, like one or two 00:19:11.990 --> 00:19:14.250 weeks later, I started getting like contractions, 00:19:14.250 --> 00:19:16.630 what felt like contractions. And I'm like, what 00:19:16.630 --> 00:19:18.750 is going, you know, but that is exactly what 00:19:18.750 --> 00:19:20.410 breastfeeding is supposed to do. It helps shrink 00:19:20.410 --> 00:19:24.009 your stomach. It, it, it helps you finish healing. 00:19:24.529 --> 00:19:26.569 And that's what I was saying about, you know, 00:19:26.589 --> 00:19:28.829 how breastfeeding, it's not just, it is great 00:19:28.829 --> 00:19:31.789 for the baby, but it's, it's a natural process 00:19:31.789 --> 00:19:34.710 for a mother to recover from pregnancy. I mean, 00:19:34.730 --> 00:19:38.410 or from delivery. Absolutely. And it's like, 00:19:38.410 --> 00:19:43.309 if your baby's sick, It helps decrease your chances 00:19:43.309 --> 00:19:46.930 with different types of cancers as well when 00:19:46.930 --> 00:19:52.369 you breastfeed. Your baby's sick. Exactly. It 00:19:52.369 --> 00:19:56.089 helps with the serotonins and the hormones. It 00:19:56.089 --> 00:19:58.930 helps level all of that stuff out. Your baby's 00:19:58.930 --> 00:20:05.109 sick. Your milk knows or your memory glands know 00:20:05.109 --> 00:20:08.490 what type of milk to produce to help your baby. 00:20:09.049 --> 00:20:12.750 Your body can read what sickness your baby has 00:20:12.750 --> 00:20:17.210 and it can adjust the milk to heal your baby. 00:20:17.950 --> 00:20:24.869 That's the truth. It's amazing. Melba, I'd like 00:20:24.869 --> 00:20:28.890 for you to share with our audience how you include 00:20:28.890 --> 00:20:36.009 the woman's partner, her family members into 00:20:36.009 --> 00:20:40.950 the birthing process. You mentioned several times 00:20:40.950 --> 00:20:45.950 the importance of being a community -based doula. 00:20:46.650 --> 00:20:50.450 So we know that like the closest community to 00:20:50.450 --> 00:20:53.670 a woman, especially when she's pregnant, is who 00:20:53.670 --> 00:20:56.329 her partner is, if they're present, right? If 00:20:56.329 --> 00:20:59.009 they're able to be there or not. And then her 00:20:59.009 --> 00:21:02.410 family members. And that could be blood family. 00:21:02.509 --> 00:21:04.650 That could be family of the heart, right? Who 00:21:04.650 --> 00:21:09.269 she considers her close, close village. And from 00:21:09.269 --> 00:21:13.150 what I understand, Melba, is that you help to 00:21:13.150 --> 00:21:16.329 nurture those connections, but you also bring 00:21:16.329 --> 00:21:20.970 in other community resources into that process. 00:21:21.170 --> 00:21:23.470 So could you tell us more about the importance 00:21:23.470 --> 00:21:28.609 of how you welcome the family and supporting 00:21:28.609 --> 00:21:31.269 community resources into this birthing process 00:21:31.269 --> 00:21:34.309 as a doula and a community -based doula at that? 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:41.059 Like really, really, really important to me is 00:21:41.059 --> 00:21:44.980 to let the family know, first and foremost, I'm 00:21:44.980 --> 00:21:51.220 not here to replace anybody. I'm there to support 00:21:51.220 --> 00:21:55.220 and pick up when things get a little bit crazy 00:21:55.220 --> 00:21:58.960 to help. Like, OK, let's take a pause. Let's 00:21:58.960 --> 00:22:01.839 remember what we want to do and bring everything 00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:06.519 back together. Because a lot of times. Some families 00:22:06.519 --> 00:22:08.099 be like, oh, you got a doula. You don't need 00:22:08.099 --> 00:22:12.140 nobody. Like, yeah, we still need you. You're 00:22:12.140 --> 00:22:15.559 still the support. I'm just kind of the bridge 00:22:15.559 --> 00:22:21.599 to help the medical staff and the partner and 00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:26.799 the laboring person get equal, like get on the 00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:30.480 same pathway per se. So it's very important that 00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:34.799 the family, the partner. whomever knows that 00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:36.859 they're still a part of this process so one of 00:22:36.859 --> 00:22:38.980 the things i want to know is who is your support 00:22:38.980 --> 00:22:42.640 system outside of me like if i wasn't here who's 00:22:42.640 --> 00:22:45.539 your support system and what part do they play 00:22:45.539 --> 00:22:50.940 in in your in your prenatal care in your laboring 00:22:50.940 --> 00:22:54.480 process in your postpartum care a lot of times 00:22:54.480 --> 00:22:57.880 you have to also not just think about the the 00:22:57.880 --> 00:23:01.240 partner or grandma and grandpa there's kids and 00:23:01.240 --> 00:23:04.579 siblings like How are we going to integrate the 00:23:04.579 --> 00:23:08.339 kids into this process also? So that's where 00:23:08.339 --> 00:23:12.759 a lot of the postpartum doula come into play 00:23:12.759 --> 00:23:16.579 for me. Because we need to make sure, okay, we're 00:23:16.579 --> 00:23:18.319 here to support you. We're going to take the 00:23:18.319 --> 00:23:21.400 baby. Go spend some time with your husband. Or 00:23:21.400 --> 00:23:24.380 go spend some time with your partner. Or there's 00:23:24.380 --> 00:23:26.480 going to be time for you and the kids for a few 00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:29.359 hours. Go take a shower. You guys go do some 00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:32.779 self -care stuff. together because they need 00:23:32.779 --> 00:23:35.819 to know that, yeah, it's a new baby, but we're 00:23:35.819 --> 00:23:38.740 still here and part of the family also. So I 00:23:38.740 --> 00:23:43.140 always do not just a prenatal birth plan, but 00:23:43.140 --> 00:23:45.619 a postpartum plan. Everybody's going to have 00:23:45.619 --> 00:23:52.339 their role in this process. And if dad or whomever 00:23:52.339 --> 00:23:55.460 is close to mom, they're going to notice things 00:23:55.460 --> 00:23:58.779 being off before anybody did because they know 00:23:58.779 --> 00:24:02.799 them on a regular basis. So they're like, you 00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:04.740 know, every time you come, she says she's OK. 00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:07.940 But I notice she's not really OK. She's doing 00:24:07.940 --> 00:24:10.819 this or she's doing that or she used to do this 00:24:10.819 --> 00:24:14.200 and now she's not doing it anymore. So we need 00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:19.000 their support to be able to support, you know, 00:24:19.000 --> 00:24:23.019 mom as much as we can as well. And we don't ever 00:24:23.019 --> 00:24:26.599 want the partners to feel left out because they 00:24:26.599 --> 00:24:30.089 need our support also. When I'm in there with 00:24:30.089 --> 00:24:33.930 my clients and they're having their contractions 00:24:33.930 --> 00:24:36.549 and they're trying to do this without no medication, 00:24:36.670 --> 00:24:40.509 I look at the partner. I read them and see how 00:24:40.509 --> 00:24:43.630 they're feeling. Like, are you okay? Is there 00:24:43.630 --> 00:24:47.289 anything you need? Because they're in a position 00:24:47.289 --> 00:24:50.569 where their significant other is in pain. It 00:24:50.569 --> 00:24:54.509 ain't nothing they can do about it. So they need 00:24:54.509 --> 00:24:58.049 support. And sometimes like I just recently had 00:24:58.049 --> 00:25:02.549 a birth. The mom was like, I want to go natural. 00:25:02.690 --> 00:25:04.609 I don't want a medication. I don't want to do 00:25:04.609 --> 00:25:08.549 anything. And I'm looking at this dad and he 00:25:08.549 --> 00:25:12.109 is like every time she have a contraction, he's 00:25:12.109 --> 00:25:15.710 dying. Not literally dying, but it's like it's 00:25:15.710 --> 00:25:18.769 affecting him. Make it stop. Can you make it 00:25:18.769 --> 00:25:21.269 stop? And I just, you know, made eye contact 00:25:21.269 --> 00:25:24.190 with him. And I looked at her. I was like. you 00:25:24.190 --> 00:25:27.750 know, it's okay if you get some medication to 00:25:27.750 --> 00:25:29.849 help ease this off a little bit. She was like, 00:25:29.910 --> 00:25:32.230 no, I want to do it. I was like, you know, you 00:25:32.230 --> 00:25:35.849 went further with no medication with this birth 00:25:35.849 --> 00:25:37.890 than you did with the first birth. So either 00:25:37.890 --> 00:25:41.849 way, you're in a good situation. You did natural 00:25:41.849 --> 00:25:45.390 for as much as you can tolerate it. It's okay. 00:25:45.710 --> 00:25:48.190 And she was like, no, I want to do it. And I 00:25:48.190 --> 00:25:50.490 looked at him and she kind of looked at him. 00:25:51.069 --> 00:25:53.470 And she looked back at me. I said, it's OK. And 00:25:53.470 --> 00:25:56.609 he said, it's OK. I don't want to see you in 00:25:56.609 --> 00:26:02.109 this much pain. So she was like, OK, I'll get 00:26:02.109 --> 00:26:06.230 something. So it's like you don't want to see 00:26:06.230 --> 00:26:08.809 your partner in pain like that. And they don't 00:26:08.809 --> 00:26:11.150 want to be the one to say you need to get the 00:26:11.150 --> 00:26:14.579 medication because they want to. follow you and 00:26:14.579 --> 00:26:17.640 do as much as you want to do as well. And they 00:26:17.640 --> 00:26:20.099 don't want to be the one that's to blame. It's 00:26:20.099 --> 00:26:22.180 your fault that I went and got the medication. 00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:24.720 If it wasn't for you saying anything, I wouldn't 00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:27.240 have never got it. So we're there to support 00:26:27.240 --> 00:26:31.660 everybody in that room. Thank you for joining 00:26:31.660 --> 00:26:35.559 us on Questions You Didn't Ask with me, Nyesha 00:26:35.559 --> 00:26:38.500 Frey, and my guests, Melba Perry and Jessica 00:26:38.500 --> 00:26:41.940 Burris. Tune in next week as we continue our 00:26:41.940 --> 00:26:45.500 series, From Birth to Beyond, unveiling challenges 00:26:45.500 --> 00:26:47.660 of maternal and infant health.