Man, Cedar Point Recovery, you guys doing good?
I'm grateful for you guys.
I'm grateful that you're here.
And in case you're wondering, if you've
been journeying with us a while, you'll
notice that we're kind of starting things off
a little differently.
And that's because we're kicking off a campaign.
It's called Ask Me About My Recovery.
And so every week, we want to open up
with just a different video where somebody gets to share
just a short testimonial about why they come here.
And if you're sitting out there and you're like, well,
is Ask Me About My Recovery a thing?
It is now.
I like to create.
And so it's something that I just thought would be good for us.
And there's some things that we want
to keep in front of ourselves throughout this month.
And it's this.
First, the importance of sharing our stories.
And we're going to be starting with mine here just a little bit
because I just want full transparency.
As I lead this ministry, some of you
have gotten bits and pieces of it over the years.
Some of you in here, you've known me for far too long.
And so you have way too much of my story.
We won't be going that far into it tonight.
But I do.
As we lead, we have a responsibility
to be transparent about what God's done in us.
I love this verse.
1 Peter 3.15 says this.
Instead, you must worship Christ as your Lord.
And if someone asks about your hope as a believer,
always be ready to explain it.
And our testimonies are that.
It's our hope as a believer, that as we share our stories,
it's truly why I'm a Christ follower,
why I'm a Jesus follower, why I'm bought in, why I believe,
why I'm a part of this church, why I'm a part of this ministry.
It's my testimony.
And it's important that we share those things.
Second, the importance of being open and honest about where
you're at in your journey.
We're all in different places.
We're all in different seasons.
And as we push, ask me about my recovery,
oftentimes we want to be withdrawn, especially
when we're struggling.
And we want to break that stigma.
We don't want to let people know that we still
need help throughout the week.
Or there's still times where we're struggling.
And what we really want to push past, whether it's addiction,
whether it's self-hatred, self-harm, or anything
that you struggle with, at any point in time,
what we want you to know that this is a safe place.
And it's OK to share where you're at.
No matter who you are, no matter what position
or what title you have, and we want
to begin to push past that stigma.
Third, we want to push the power of invitation.
That this room right here is so full because of invitations.
People were invited here to be a part of this ministry.
Cedar Point Recovery has grown to one of the largest recovery
ministries in this part of Oklahoma
because you invited somebody, because you
shared our messages.
And so we're going to continue to push that
throughout this next month.
We've got invite cards for you out on the table.
Take those.
Those are a gift.
Take them, but give them out.
Hand them out to somebody, whether it's a stranger,
a family member, whoever it is.
It's just a great way to say, man,
there's something going on on Monday night.
I want you to be a part of it.
We've got some vehicle decals for you.
And then there's a backdrop.
We've got a great new backdrop.
We've got some signs for you guys to hold.
Take a picture.
Let people know that you're here,
that you're a part of something, that God's moving here,
and share it, and invite people to be a part of it.
And then lastly, that we never lose sight of the fact
that we exist for the lost.
That is, we talk about, ask me about my recovery.
We exist.
This ministry exists.
The church exists for people who are lost and broken.
And unfortunately, we're going to journey that way
until the day that Christ Jesus comes back.
And so we exist to lift each other up,
to encourage one another, to have each other's back,
to see people through this week and the next
and the journey with them.
That's why we're here.
And so we're going to be pushing this really heavy
over the next month.
And so again, we're starting off with this testimony.
And then I just want to share with you guys
for the rest of the month about why this is so important
and why we're here and why we're doing this.
Well, you guys ready to get started?
I want to pray.
Father God, we just thank you, Lord,
just for this time, this opportunity to come together, God.
And Lord, I'm grateful that I'm alive to share my story.
God, I'm grateful that you've done a work in me, Father,
that though I was unqualified, Lord, that you picked me up.
Lord, that you qualified, you called me
to be a part of this, Lord.
And I'm grateful to share that story.
God, I pray that as I'm up here,
that you would just do a work in people's hearts
and their minds, God, that you would soften them,
that you would open them up
just to what you have for them, Lord.
And we're grateful for all that you do, Lord.
And we pray this in Jesus' name.
Everybody say amen and amen.
Well, if you've never met me,
you haven't had the opportunity to meet me,
my name is Aaron and I'm one of the pastors here
at Cedar Point Church.
And I'm grateful to be a part of it.
And as I've stepped into this role,
which was a little over a year ago,
I think 14 months ago,
some people asked, you know, how'd you get here?
Where'd you go to seminary?
That's always my favorite question,
which I try to, you know, restrain from laughing at.
Not that there's anything wrong with it,
that's just not my story.
And so I'm grateful to be a part of this.
And because I've had so many people kind of push me
and push me and push me,
you need to share, you need to share.
So here we are.
It's been incredibly uncomfortable to self promote
in such a way for me, not really.
But,
but it is, it is one of those things.
It was time, it was time just to kind of kick off.
And I know bits and pieces of my story
has been out there for a while.
People have got to hear it and piece it together.
And so I just want to lay it all out there for everyone.
And so I am grateful just to share with you guys.
And if you're not here on a regular basis,
may come back next week too.
We do messages and it's another church service for the week.
And it's a great thing to be a part of.
And it's a great ministry that God's given us.
And so we hope that I don't scare you away with my story.
I hope that you guys enjoy it,
but I'm grateful again that you guys are here.
But like I said, my name's Aaron
and I have my wife up here, Janelle.
And if you didn't know this, we have a lot of kids.
I've actually brought a picture of my family
in case you've never seen them before possibly.
I have, I have six kids, maybe there we go.
So I have six kids that God's blessed me with.
And you can see that I've done an excellent job
of keeping them all alive as they've outgrown me.
And so that's just pretty phenomenal.
And so the great thing about six kids is,
I can lose at least two and still have like a good average.
That's like success.
And so I like that.
That's the trick.
You just gotta have enough that you can make some mistakes
and still turn out good.
And I'm confident out of the six of them,
at least one of them will possibly care for my wife and I
in our old age.
But I love them.
I love them.
I love this picture, even though you really can't tell
that I'm smiling, I am.
And I'm really happy here.
And I love pictures because, man,
it just captures a moment, doesn't it?
And this moment, this is my sister's,
my older sister, she'd gotten remarried
and this is just a great moment.
And so some things that you can't tell in this picture
is all the work that it took to wrangle these stray cats
and get them in line to all look at the camera
and have a picture.
And so pictures don't always capture everything.
Well, for instance, that's a man that's incredibly blessed.
That's a man that a few short years ago
wasn't sure where he would be in life,
what direction he was going.
That was a man a few short years ago
whose family was incomplete, who was lost and broken
and was a shell of a person who was completely,
completely without direction in his life.
And so that is a man that's experienced
just the fullness of God's grace and God's mercy
and God's redemption.
And it's one of those things that when I look at that picture,
it does say it brings tears to my eyes,
that it breaks my heart to know that out of all the things
that I've done, all the things that I've been through,
that God could be that good, that good,
to give me such a great life.
And so you see for a long time, I wasn't in church.
I wasn't raised in church.
I wasn't a part of this atmosphere.
This is not where my story began.
For a long time, I tried to write my own story
and I tried to take care of my own brokenness on my own.
I tried to lift myself up with my own strength
and I didn't find out for many years
just how incredibly insufficient that was.
And to really grasp my story,
you've got to go back into the beginning.
And I was born in 1986.
That's one of the things that's wrong with me.
I was born in the 80s and so those were a mess.
I was a middle child of five.
That's the rest of what's wrong with me.
I have all the stereotypical middle child syndromes.
I like attention.
I'm always right.
You know, those types of things.
And nobody loved me.
I don't know how those things work,
but you know, I was just in this family.
And so I brought some pictures from my childhood too.
I'm gonna share those with you guys.
And so this is me just as a kid.
I don't know what my parents were thinking
with some of the shirt choices there.
It was the 80s, okay?
It was the 80s, it was.
It was the 80s.
Did you say bring it back?
No, don't bring it back.
It was this awful, awful, awful time.
But I was, man.
I was born to a pretty typical family.
A pretty typical family.
We were middle class to lower middle class.
We didn't have a lot.
I grew up in Catoosa, Oklahoma.
And like I said, I was a middle child.
My family, they were good.
There was no drugs or alcohol.
They endeavored to do the right thing.
But they were young parents when they started.
And they never really got their feet underneath them
as far as raising us.
And managing five kids, which as an adult,
I know what a task that can be.
And so I understand and I sympathize.
And so things were a bit chaotic.
And things went awry from time to time.
But as I look at this picture, again,
pictures don't capture everything.
That kid, he looks pretty happy.
The kid's smiling.
But what that picture doesn't capture
is that kid's got a secret.
That kid, for a long time,
actually had been abused sexually.
And I'd had my trust betrayed by somebody
who was incredibly close to me.
And somebody who should have been there for me.
Somebody who should have protected me.
Somebody who should have had my back.
And instead, the exact opposite was true.
And that kid right there put on a smile
on his face every day.
And he went out and he played with friends.
And he pretended like everything was okay.
And on the inside, that kid was shattered.
That kid was broken.
That kid was dying.
There was a battle raging on the inside.
That kid had lost all direction.
That kid had lost all value.
And all I could do was act crazy,
put a smile on my face.
And act crazy, and put a smile on my face.
Day in and day out.
And I struggled.
Day in and day out.
And quickly, I began to lash out.
And I began to act different.
I was a great student.
But I was angry.
I began to vandalize things in our neighborhood.
I began to shoplift at a grocery store that was close by.
I would break into abandoned houses.
I would tear things up.
I would just do whatever I could
just to get rid of some of that rage,
to get rid of some of that anger.
And the last thing that I wanted to do,
which the first thing I should have done,
was tell somebody.
And so I kept it on the inside.
And I bottled it up.
And I let it eat at the inside of me.
It was like a cancer day in and day out
as I struggled with this and as it went on for years.
But eventually, I got some light.
Just a little glimmer through the clouds.
And my family circumstances began to change.
And due to some changes with my mom's work, we moved.
And it was difficult.
I'd been a part of the same community.
I'd lived in the same neighborhood practically my whole life.
I had the same friends.
There was security in that,
even though there was a lot of brokenness in that.
But it was comfortable.
And so we began to move.
And one of the best things that came about from that move
was the fact that the abuse ended.
So around 10, we moved from Rolling Hills in Catoosa.
We moved right outside of Muskogee
to a little community called Hildale.
And there, that angry, that hurting,
that lost boy continued to be angry, hurting and lost,
except now I was more alone than ever.
I'd lost all my friends.
I'd lost everything that was comfortable in my life,
everything that was familiar.
And so there I was again without direction.
I didn't know what to do.
And we spent just a few years in this community.
And I began to further go down this path
that I wasn't quite sure where it was leading.
I pushed the envelope more.
I began to bully people around me.
I was angry.
I started stealing more.
I started lying more.
I started manipulating more.
I kept my grades up.
So my parents thought everything was great.
It's like, what honor students is doing the things
that I was starting to get into?
When the teachers would praise me,
but everyone around me could begin
to see these breaks of the things on the inside that
were hidden, the darkness that was beginning just
to break through.
And so we spent a couple of years there.
And then my family's dynamic just began to shatter.
My mom had lost the job that brought us there.
And so for the few years where we
had this comfortableness about our finances
and things began to look different,
in that aspect, that was taken away.
And my family was depressed.
They were kind of shell shocked.
And we found ourselves coming back to Katusa.
And so as we come back, I was excited.
I had this excitement about me because we're going home.
Home is comfortable.
My heart was there.
My friends were there.
The things I were familiar with was there.
And I didn't realize, though, that the two years
that we were gone, just the amount of damage
that that secret had done to me, the amount of change
that had taken place in my life, the amount of innocence
that I'd lost.
And so as we began to come back, at this time,
I'm starting to become a teenager.
I'm 11 or 12.
And as we're coming back, and I'm excited,
I begin to interact with people I used to know.
And I was like a stranger.
I tried to hang out with people that I was hanging out with.
And we were into different things.
And I'd push the envelope far past them.
I was in a different place.
I was in a different season.
Instead of coming home and having
this comfortableness about me, instead of being welcomed
with open arms, I felt more alone than ever.
I felt more lost than ever.
I felt more abandoned than ever.
I felt more angry than ever.
And I began to eat every lie that the enemy told me,
every lie that the enemy told me that I would never
be good enough, that I would never be loved,
that I couldn't make it, all of these things.
And I just began to eat them up and eat them up and eat them
up.
And so that first year that we were back here,
I made a decision that would alter my life forever.
And oddly enough, the first time that I used,
I actually sought it out.
Again, my family, they didn't drink.
They didn't use.
They didn't do any of that.
My friends didn't.
I was back in the community.
I didn't know anybody.
And I began just to kind of search and seek.
I was like, something's going to take this pain away.
Something's going to make me feel OK.
Something's going to make me feel like I can fit in.
And so here I am, just about a 12-year-old boy.
And I began walking through this trailer park,
in this trailer park.
And I'm knocking on doors of where
I know sketchy teenagers live.
Weirdest thing.
I know, as crazy as it sounds, that's what I did.
And I was like, did you got any weed?
And after having the door shut in my face probably a dozen
times, I found somebody who did.
And I remember the first time that I did that,
I thought it was the greatest thing.
That in that moment, everything was taken away.
That I didn't care anymore.
That I was happy.
I remember laughing more than I'd ever laughed.
And it was just this thing that I thought was so great.
But as quickly as that feeling came upon me,
it left just as quickly.
And then I had to go back and seek again and search again.
And what began at that time was a cycle,
where I could never get back to that first moment.
I could never get back to that first high.
And I don't know about any of you,
but I'm a like, all pedal, no brakes kind of guy.
Like, man, drive it till the wheels fall off.
And so very quickly, I began to move from just marijuana
to prescription pills.
And so some of the first pills I used was amphetamines.
Used to treat ADHD.
And so within just a few month period,
I went from smoking some pot to taking some pills
and to taking some more pills and to drinking.
And so here's this teenage boy who's
beginning to get caught in this cycle.
And I'm going from honor student to I'm struggling in school.
I'm going to have everything in front of me
to darkness is closing in faster than I could ever expect.
And within a few short years, I went from taking a hit of weed
to lying in a hospital bed when I overdosed for the first time
when I was 15 years old.
You never set out to do that.
Anybody who's ever experienced that, it's never a goal.
It's never the end game.
And what had happened to me is, again,
just things were eating at me.
Things were hard.
I was struggling.
I was depressed.
I was sad.
I was lonely.
I could never get those feelings back.
I was using more and more and more.
And one night, I honestly can't remember
whether I was catching, chasing the next high
or whether I just had had enough.
I had used everything that I had.
And then I went and wiped out my parents' medicine cabinet
and ingested just basically everything that was in there.
And I had a friend with me that night.
He was partying.
He didn't partake in that.
But as I'm laying on the floor, having seizures
and hallucinating and dying, he was
trying to go to sleep real quiet so
that he didn't get in trouble.
But luckily, God had his hand just on the situation
that night.
And my older brother kind of heard some commotion
and his sense that something wasn't right.
And so he comes into my room as I'm dying in the floor.
And he wakes up my parents.
And my parents had been oblivious to everything
up until this point.
They never realized that I'd used anything.
They didn't know that I smoked.
They didn't know I did anything.
They didn't realize just the depth of the brokenness
that I dealt with.
And so they come in to their 15-year-old son
dying in his bedroom floor.
And they rush me to the hospital in Tulsa.
And I don't remember what took place.
I don't remember that night.
I do know this.
I missed the 4th of July that year
because I remember being really ticked off.
I can't see.
I caught myself running.
Thank you.
I remember being really ticked off about that
and having a conversation with some doctors
about what had taken place and what had happened.
So there I am.
And even at this point, I'd been actually
in a coma for three days.
And so the hospital extent was medically induced just
for my health.
And so as I'm under there, and I'm coming out of that,
and everything's just a fog.
And I don't know what's taking place.
And they're asking me all these questions.
And what did you do?
Why did you do this?
What's been going on?
And all I know to do is lie.
And I still don't want to share what the real problem is.
And so I'm just spitting stuff out there.
I was partying.
I took it too far.
I don't know.
I mean, I didn't know.
And so they took me from the hospital
to a treatment facility where I spent a few weeks in treatment.
And I continued to lie.
And I continued to push people away.
And I didn't want to have anything to do with sobriety.
I didn't want to have anything to do with treatment.
I didn't want to talk about my feelings or color them
or whatever they wanted me to do.
I didn't want anything to do with that.
And so after they released me, they deemed me not
a threat to myself.
I remember I came home that day.
And what should have been a wake up call, right?
Here's a young man who no less than three weeks
before had almost died.
Instead, I get home that day.
And I get on landline back then.
And I call my buddy up down the road.
And they got anything.
And so the very night that I got out of treatment,
the very first thing I did is I started getting high.
Because the only thing that I took away from that moment,
the only thing that I took away from overdosing
was the fact that my secrets had been exposed.
And the only thing that that meant
was I no longer had to keep anything hidden.
That brakes are coming off.
And we're going to drive it till the wheels fall off.
I didn't care.
I hated myself.
I didn't want to live.
I didn't want to be here.
I didn't want anything to do with this world.
I didn't want any part of it.
And so the only thing that all this did
was allow me to go full-fledged 110 miles an hour
in the wrong direction.
And so that's exactly what I did starting with that night.
And I remember that night.
I remember it vividly, because at this point,
my parents were a little more aware.
So they were keeping a little better eye on me.
And so for the first time, my parents
caught me getting high outside.
And I remember my dad, he was so angry.
He didn't know what to do.
I mean, what do you do with a kid like me
who's dealing with these things?
And he didn't understand.
He'd never been a part of this world.
He'd never been a part of these things.
And I remember he was so angry.
And there was just disappointment in his eyes.
And I remember he yells at my friend
and tells my friend to leave.
And he's yelling at me.
He may or may not have picked up a chair
and threw it at the other kid.
But I just didn't know what to say.
I loved my dad, but I didn't love me.
And so I just looked at him blankly
and waited till he was finished.
And I went to my room.
And from that moment on, just more and more and more
and more.
And I started using crank and meth.
And every pill I could get my hands on, whatever it was,
alcohol, it just didn't matter.
Whatever would numb what was on the inside,
whatever would begin just to erase what I was dealing with.
And then I started driving.
And then I started getting arrested.
And then I started getting into legal trouble.
And I remember in 2003, that was the last time
that I was allowed to attend a public school.
And I remember I'd been arrested so many times.
And just things had taken place.
And I was dealing at this point.
And so distribution and these things like that.
And I remember being told that I'm never
going to be allowed back at my high school, the school
that I wanted to come back to, the place that I wanted to.
And the funny thing about 2003 is
it's a few years shy of when I was supposed to graduate.
And so I didn't have a prom.
I didn't have a graduation.
I didn't get to do any of those things.
Instead, I found myself in military school prior.
If any of you are familiar with that, Thunderbird.
20 years ago, it was fairly intense.
I don't know about now.
So here I am.
I'm this lost and this broken young man.
I have no direction.
And my parents' last-stitch effort is, let me just ship him
off.
Somebody's got to do something.
I know the court systems had told me
that they would expunge everything
that I got in trouble for, for going through this.
And so that's where I went.
And I didn't think it would do anything.
I didn't think it would impact my life at all.
I didn't expect to walk away with anything
except a clean record so I could get it dirty again.
And so that was my only motivation.
And so I went and I stuck it out.
And as I'm there, they made you PT a lot.
That's exercise.
I don't like to exercise.
I still don't like to exercise.
And on Wednesday nights, though, you had an option.
You could exercise or you could go to church.
Being a smart man, I chose church.
And so this bus would come pick us up.
And it would take us to this little church.
And I had never really been to church much.
We went some as a kid.
We were Christian, as in most people that were in Oklahoma
back then were Christian.
And we showed up at Easter.
We showed up at Christmas.
And so I really didn't know what any of this was about.
I didn't know what was going on.
But I knew this.
I kind of liked it.
You know, it was great.
I didn't have to exercise.
These were all win-wins.
They gave us candy.
We really weren't allowed to have sugar
while we were at the other place.
And so this was great.
And something began to happen.
I remember they gave me this Bible.
I still have that Bible today.
I still have never read that Bible to this day,
but I keep it.
But I remember making a decision one day there
as the pastor there was talking.
And I wanted to know about this Jesus guy.
And I wanted him to live on the inside of me.
And I remember just thinking, well, maybe
he'll be better than hell.
And so I made that decision.
And I had no idea what it meant.
And I had no idea what I'd done.
And so I went on about my life.
I graduated.
But what had happened in that moment
is a seed had been planted on the inside.
That I'd given God's Holy Spirit access,
that I could no longer be content in my life
from that moment forward.
And so as I went back home, I remember graduation night,
again, drive it till the wheels fall off.
Me and my buddies were partying.
We're right back into it.
Within a few months, I'm back into dealing.
We're living in a new place at this point, Claremore.
So this is where I moved after military school
because things had gotten so bad for me in Catoosa.
And they were harassing my family, stuff like that,
that we ended up here.
And so I'm doing the same things, new community,
fresh start, coughs out here, don't know who I am.
These were all win-wins.
But I wasn't happy.
Before, I could do these things.
And I could push the envelope.
And I could be OK with it.
And I could look at myself in the mirror.
And then I was coming into these moments,
as time's going on, that I'm more discontent.
And I'm not OK with it.
I'm not OK with who I am.
I'm not OK with the direction I'm going.
And I'm becoming discontent.
And I don't know what it's about.
And so as I'm just doing these things,
and I'm trying to live my life, and I'm trying to use,
and even though I'm pushing past all this uncomfortableness,
and I'm using more and more and more and more and more
until one day I meet my first wife.
I was actually a little gas station over here
across from come and go.
I was selling drugs out of there.
Kind of sketchy situation I had going.
So that's how I met my son's mom.
And so I thought it would be a great marriage.
Here we are.
We're teens, 18, 19 years old.
And we decide that this is going to be great.
This is going to fix everything.
Kids will fix everything.
Relationship will fix everything.
Marriage will fix everything.
That'll give me purpose.
That'll give me guidance.
That'll give me something.
And so I go full fledged into this.
And this is what I'm going to do.
And so we begin to get married.
And I decide to get sober.
And for me, that meant no hard drugs, just weed, lots of booze.
So sober life.
I'm going to walk out that sober life.
Oddly enough, my marriage ended after the first year.
Big surprise there.
It wasn't built on much.
Two kids that didn't know what was going on.
But one thing did come of that.
My son, my oldest son, Andrew, he's 14 today.
And it's a great thing.
And it's funny what God can use.
Children are a gift from God.
And even though I was doing all the wrong things
and the situation wasn't ideal and the marriage wasn't right
and the things that were taking place
could have been a heck of a lot better, God gave me a child.
And the child did something incredible.
That child allowed me to love for possibly the very first
time.
I didn't love my parents.
Didn't love myself.
Didn't love my siblings.
Didn't love my friends.
But when that baby was born, I just
remember this broken man that I was, looking at this little life
that I had created.
And God used that to shatter things inside of me.
And I just get that picture of the Grinch,
where his heart began to grow.
And God began to grow this thing inside of me,
where I love this boy.
And I wanted to give him all the things that I'd never had,
the life that I'd never had.
And I wanted to be better.
And I wanted to do better.
I wanted to change.
I didn't know how.
And so after my son was born, it was no drugs.
No drugs.
I wouldn't walk on the path.
I got a real job.
Like, started pursuing a career.
I couldn't kick the drink, though.
I couldn't not drink.
And a lot of it is I justified it.
You know, it was OK.
It's legal.
And it held onto me for such a long time.
And a few years down the road, I'm still very much an alcoholic.
And I'm struggling.
And I got arrested as an adult.
First time as an adult.
And this was in 2009.
My son was about two years old.
And I'm pretty redneck.
I like guns.
So I had a DUI.
I had a lot of guns in the car.
Some of those violated federal law.
I don't do that anymore.
So get your tax stamps, people.
So here I am in 2009.
And I got arrested for a DUI, felony possession of a firearm.
The one that really was sticking me was a sold-off shotgun.
And the state at first was trying to get the ATF to pick it up.
They didn't want it.
But I was facing five years.
My son was two.
And in five years, he can be seven.
And I didn't want to go through that.
And I'm struggling.
And again, I don't know what to do.
And so I'm just trying to pick up these pieces.
And I managed to get to the court system.
I managed to get on the other side of that.
And I'm on probation.
But I'm reevaluating life.
I don't know what to do, though.
I don't know where to go.
I didn't know places like this existed.
I didn't know what the church was.
I didn't know who God was.
I didn't know that there was a place that I could turn.
It's something I could be a part of.
And so I'm out there just trying to do it on my own.
And I'm still dealing with all the things on the inside.
And I'm trying to drown all the pain and all the things
that I didn't share.
And so I'm out there.
And I remember it was, I think it was 2012, early on.
I found myself, no, 2011.
I actually found myself without a place to live.
And there's some of you in the room
that I've walked you over to this Claremore Motor Inn.
And we've bought you a room.
I was one of those people one time without a place to live.
11 years ago, I burned bridges with family.
Nobody wanted me around.
Friends didn't want me around.
And my parents, they were going through a hard time.
And so I find myself homeless.
I remember walking up to the second floor.
Thank you.
The second floor of the Claremore Motor Inn, room 201.
And I've got my son with me.
He's a couple of years old.
And just he's having a great time.
And I am ripped to shreds on the inside
because this kid that I loved, that I wanted to provide for,
that I wanted to do better for, I was failing.
I was still failing.
And why was I failing?
I quit getting high.
I quit doing these things.
And I was still so lost and still so broken
and still so all alone.
And I just remember it's like I'm never, ever, ever
going to find myself in this situation again.
And so 2012 rolls around.
And I've gotten a new relationship
because I still thought that that was the answer.
Women were the answer.
Booze were the answer.
Sex was the answer.
And so I end up with another child.
I wasn't married to her mother.
But again, my heart broke when she was born.
And my life was a total wreck.
I was such a loser.
I had nothing.
I couldn't hardly pay my bills.
Couldn't hardly eat.
I always had money for alcohol.
I don't know how that worked.
But nothing else.
Nothing else.
And so here I am.
I'm with two kids.
I'm single.
I'm living in a trash apartment.
Got roaches.
I have nothing.
I work for minimum wage.
And all I know is I just can't stand this life any longer.
Can't stand it any longer.
And so I began to search for something different.
And I began to think about some things.
One of the things I began to think about
was the church kids in school that I bullied
and how they were great kids.
And that was why I picked on them.
And I was like, I want my kids to be those kids.
I don't want them to be me.
I want them to be the kids I was bullying.
And so I was like, man, all right, maybe church is a place.
And then I remember thinking about Thunderbird
when I was in military school and just that atmosphere
that this broken teenager was welcomed,
that they invited me in, that they loved on me,
that they journeyed with me.
And so I started searching for churches.
And I started going around.
And it's like, I'm going to find a place that's for me.
I'm going to find a place that's for me.
And I was working for a screen printing place, actually,
here in town several years ago.
And this church, Cedar Point, had everything printed there.
And there was a gentleman named David Brace.
He's still a part of staff still.
We're back to work with him now.
He was the very first person to ever invite me here.
Ever invite me here.
And he said, you know what?
You should come to church sometime.
And I thought, why the heck am I doing that?
And I remember turning him down.
But again, it was a seed.
Man, God's funny about that, planting those seeds,
putting them in there.
And so I tried different places.
I went around.
And I never really felt like I was at home.
And I was always discontent.
And eventually, I started showing up here.
Funny thing, first time I came to this place
and actually stepped in the doors, a buddy of mine
was doing community service.
It was after the church had just started
to move into this area many, many years ago.
And I dropped him off for community service.
And I was drunk when I did that.
And then when I came to church here the first time,
the only way that I had the courage
to really step through these doors was half lit.
And it's just crazy what God does.
But the first time I came here, I was intoxicated.
I was alone.
Didn't know why I was here.
But I knew this, that Christians would help me with my kids.
Surely they would help me with my kids.
Surely they would love on them.
It helped me to teach them right from wrong, all the things
that I didn't know, how to love people,
and how not to screw up your life as much as I screwed it up.
And so I started attending.
And I started showing up.
And that was in 2012.
And as I'm coming here, I start to kind of like it.
But I'm still not real sure about the whole church thing.
I'm not really bought in.
And I'm just here for my kids.
And then in 2013, I started a business.
And I decided that I was going to start selling pens
and doing window decals and all the things
that churches bought.
And other people bought, too.
But the church kind of had this policy, more unspoken
than anything, that there's a preference for people
who attend when it came to purchasing the things
that I was selling.
It's funny how they get you.
So as I start my business in 2013,
I immediately became a church partner.
So I became a church member in 2013.
Again, I know that because my main motivation was my business.
And I was like, my kids can go to church.
They can grow into decent people.
And I'll make money.
I'll get out of poverty.
It's going to be great.
And so I would show up.
And what that began to do is it began to create accountability.
Because I dealt with a lot of the ministries here.
I sold them things.
And I would come up here.
I was involved a lot with stuff outside of Sunday.
And the funny thing is, people started
to notice when I didn't show up on a Sunday.
And so then I'd get a phone call.
Hey, Erin, we missed you.
I'll be there next week.
Please don't buy your stuff from somebody else.
And so that's what I did.
And then about a year in or so, I started serving.
It got me again.
And it's like, hey, you're doing a good job with this.
They had me serve with something back then.
We called it Creative Team.
And they had me kind of help with planning stuff.
And again, my heart wasn't there.
My motivation wasn't there.
I still wasn't connected.
It wasn't clicking yet.
But again, I'm going to show up.
I'm going to be a part of it.
My kids like it.
And my bank account likes it.
These are all good things.
And so here I am.
I'm doing that.
And then I started serving in the three-year-old's room.
That was the first time I served with kids.
It was awful.
So bad.
I thought it would be great because my daughter was
three at the time, around there.
And so she got to come in with me.
My son helped me.
But it really just started to make me not want to come at all.
I'm like, ugh, is the money really worth having
to serve in the three-year-old room?
And so rather than leave the church,
I decided to have a conversation.
It's like, I can't be a part of this.
And after about that same time, a funny thing was happening.
My son wanted to go to church camp.
And so I ended up going from the three-year-old's room
to our children's ministry, our kindergarten, to fifth grade.
And the way that happened is I went up to the children's
pastor at the time.
I was like, hey, my son really wants to go.
He doesn't like to be away from his dad.
So I'm going to go with him.
And she goes, well, no, you're not.
What do you mean?
No, I'm not.
I'm going to volunteer.
It's like, well, you have to serve here
and be a part of this ministry if you want to go with your kid.
Got me again.
So that's what I did.
Because I don't love me.
I'm a drunk.
I'm a womanizer.
I'm still empty.
I'm still not buying in.
But I really love my kids.
I really love my son.
And it's like, I can do that.
And so I started serving in the children's ministry
and just kind of showing up and being a part of that.
And then church camp comes up.
And I remember that summer, first time going off with kids,
by far the most impactful thing spiritually that's
ever taken place in my life.
Because here I was with kids that
were the same exact age I was when I was abused.
They were the same exact age I was when my life got off track,
when things started to fall apart,
where I didn't know what to do.
And so I began serving.
And here I am.
And God begins to grow that heart a little more.
God began to reveal Himself.
And I began to think back to just different moments
where I could very visibly see God's hand in my life.
And God started working on me, Him working on me.
And I started to become so bought into serving
and being a part of this church.
And I still didn't quite get the walk.
And I still didn't understand the Bible.
And I still didn't read the Bible.
And I didn't know what I was doing.
But I kept showing up.
And I kept showing up.
And I was learning.
And the kids made it.
I didn't go to church.
And so these Bible stories, I mean, they're impacting me.
And then they're growing my knowledge.
And I'm around my son.
And then I'm building relationships with other kids.
And I remember the first time a kid out just
out in the community was like, hey, Mr. Aaron, how you doing?
And he ran up and hugged me.
And it just tore me apart.
Like I was a part of something.
I was a part of a family.
That kid loved me.
Not just my kids, somebody else's child had a heart for me,
cared about me, and wanted to be with me, and talk to me,
and hang out with me.
And I was sucked in.
And I showed up.
And I came to one service, every other service.
And I served with kids.
And I was in there.
And God kept just moving and growing and moving and growing.
And I was learning.
And I started becoming more and more bought in.
And the church kept growing.
And my responsibilities kept growing.
And things kept taking place.
And my heart just for God began to change.
And I began to be so discontent with my double life,
because I was so one way here and so a different way
all through the week that there was this conviction.
It wasn't shame.
It wasn't guilt. It was just like, you just can't do this.
And I began to understand what God had done for me
and what he'd been doing for me that I came to this place
where I just couldn't live my life anymore.
And I remember, I was around 30 years old.
And I remember that, because I look back.
And first off, I never thought I would live to be 30.
I had no plan for my 30s.
I didn't think that I would be here.
And I remember thinking, I've spent 18 years as an addict.
I spent 18 years lost and broken and without a family,
and not knowing who I am, and not knowing my purpose
or why I'm here or what I'm supposed to be doing.
And I remember just reconciling then that enough is enough.
I don't want to keep doing this.
And I began to put everything down.
I put everything down, everything.
No more women, no more alcohol.
Stop smoking, stop dipping.
I started just putting things down and changing my life.
And at the same time, that I'm really pushing
for something different, and I don't know
what God wants me to do.
I just know for the very first time
that there's something beyond 30, that there is a plan,
that there is a purpose, that there's something to live for,
that I can be a part of.
At the very same time, God begins
to bring someone very special in my life.
And it was July of 2017.
And I know that day because it was so profound that,
right from the get go, I knew that would be my wife.
And I remember putting it in my calendar.
But God had done a work in my life.
And God brought me Janelle.
And so she was showing up.
And so she'd been invited.
Again, the power of invitation.
She'd been invited here by friend Sunny Payne, who's
right here.
And she was coming into my life.
And I'd met her kids.
She had four beautiful kids.
And because I served, because I was faithful, every Sunday
she showed up, I was at the door.
Every Sunday.
Not just for her.
I was here for the church.
That was just a bonus.
And so she would show up.
And God begins doing this work.
And unbeknownst to me, her and Sunny
were kind of scheming some things,
not letting me know what was going on.
I remember getting this phone call.
I coached soccer around this time.
And she asked if I would help one of her sons,
because his dad wasn't really around,
and help get him ready for the soccer season.
And so this is July.
It's the first time that we really hung out or talked
outside of, hey, glad your kids are here in July.
And so we did that for about a month, getting him ready
for soccer.
And then one month later, I wrote this date down, too,
because it was so important to me.
But August 20, 2017, one month later, I asked her to date me.
I said, will you date me?
And August 23, she said yes.
She waited three days.
I was such a catch that she had to just really weigh
her options there.
And then October 29, and if you guys are doing the math,
that's not very long, from July, I asked her to be my wife.
Down in the kids' room, where God changed my story,
where God introduced me to my wife.
She was serving with me.
We were in there.
And at the end of service, because I
kept trying to pull her aside, but she
thought I was trying to flirt with her in the middle of kids'
service.
And she wasn't having any of it.
And so once I finally convinced her to step away with me,
again, on October 29, I asked her to marry me.
And it's just incredible what God does.
And December 16 of that same year, we got married.
And one of the greatest days of my life
is God just, and this is a picture of us on our wedding
day.
And it really was just one of the happiest days of my life.
And God had done so much.
He'd done such a work in me, where
this broken individual who felt that he couldn't be loved,
that he was unlovable, that he could never have a family.
I remember wanting a lot of kids,
but I'd screwed up my life too much.
I think there's just no way.
There's no way that I'll ever have the family that I wanted.
And she was in a place of brokenness,
where she's like, there's no way a man will ever
want me with four kids.
And so God ended up orchestrating things
and bringing us together, where the family that I always
wanted, I got one plus.
I wanted five, and I got six.
And God is so good.
And I was finally able to love myself and to grow
and just to really see God's goodness
and to really see God's hand on my life.
And a couple weeks after we got married,
just some things had opened up here at the church.
And January 2018, my wife and I, we
came on staff here as a part of a church,
leading the children's ministry.
And it's just amazing what God does.
I mean, again, these were the kids.
They were the same age as me.
This is where my story got broken.
This is where I got off track.
And I got to spend every week loving these kids
and serving these kids and ministering and leading
in a place that, and if you'd asked me a few years ago,
I would never be.
I would never be good enough.
I'd never be qualified enough.
But I learned that God's grace and God's mercy
is good enough.
And so we came to a staff position then.
March 26, 2019, three years ago, the very first time
I stood right here on this platform.
And I gave testimony very similar to this,
where I was able to share my story.
And it was just incredible.
And God began to do a work on my heart
then where I wanted to be a part of this.
And shortly after, I started showing up here on Monday night
and serving.
Jill and Caleb were a part of the ministry here.
And they led.
And I just wanted to show up.
And I just wanted to serve.
And I just wanted to be a part of this.
And so we started showing up.
And then July, 2020, it was the very first time
that I got to come full circle and preach a message to adults
where I'd sat in the room out here just a few short years
before as Pastor Rick gave a message that God
began to use to impact me.
I got to come full circle and do that same thing.
It's just amazing.
It's amazing to me.
It's September 16, 2020.
That's the day my family became whole.
It's in the middle of the pandemic.
It was a hard time for a lot of people that first year.
It's the greatest day of my life.
I got to adopt all four of those kids.
And again, it got so good.
We lean into him.
He just continues just to get better and better and better.
And then December, 2020, just a few months after that,
got to open the door where I got to lead here
and just become a part of this week in, week out,
and journey with you guys and just be a part of this
and love on you guys.
And I love the guy that I am today.
I love what God's done for me.
I brought a picture of that.
Maybe.
We got that.
The picture of me alone, Brandy.
That's who I get to be today.
And I'll show you that for a couple things.
One, just kind of break the tension
and help deal with my tears.
But this guy loves life.
Loves life.
Day in and day out, I have bad days.
I have bad moments.
But I love life.
I never thought I could love life.
I enjoy life.
I enjoy a family that loves me most of the time.
I enjoy you guys.
And we get to be a part of something great.
And I never thought I'd live to see that age, this age.
Never thought I'd be here.
I never thought I could have a real smile.
There's nothing behind that that I'm masking or hiding.
I get to lay it all out here every week for you guys
and just journey with you.
And then one last picture for you guys.
Again, he just brought me my beautiful wife and family.
OK!
Yeah!
I love you guys.
Yeah.
Thank you.
And I'm just grateful.
Smiling again.
And I'm just grateful for what God's given me
and just to be able to journey with you guys.
And I'm grateful for tonight.
As we close, though, tonight, there's a couple things.
I know it's a little different than we typically
do on a testimony.
But as we close tonight, my story
was changed because I gave access to a very real God
that I was able to journey differently
because I began to submit and to realize that I'd been saved
if I would just accept it, that I could be redeemed if I would
just accept it, that my story wasn't finished yet,
that there was someone out there that could rewrite it.
And so as we close tonight, here in just a moment,
if you're in here and you're like, hey, Pastor,
I want some of that.
I'm tired.
I'm tired of living this way.
I'm tired of being broken.
If you're in here tonight and you'd
like to give your life to Jesus, if you would
like to take that first step to make the greatest decision
that you could ever make and come into a relationship
with Jesus, at the end of service,
we're going to have some people up front.
And we would love to pray with you and for you
so you can begin that journey so that you don't have
to stay stuck in brokenness, lost in shame, lost in guilt.
Your story can begin to change tonight
if you're willing to take that first step.
And so we want to encourage you to do that.
If you're in here and you've done that before,
you've made that decision.
But maybe you've gotten off track and God's
just speaking with you tonight.
And you realize, you know what?
It's time to change course.
It's time to realign myself with what God has for me.
If you need to recommit tonight, again, at the end of service,
we'll have some people up front.
We would love to pray with you and for you
just as you recommit, as you get back on track.
And then lastly, if there was something
that was just kind of pressing your heart
that you need to deal with, like your relationship
with God's good, but there's just some brokenness
or something that God's brought to your attention
that you need to begin to lay down,
that you need to begin to set aside at the end of service,
we'll have some white chips up here.
And again, if you'd like to come down,
we would love for you to pick one of those up.
And what they are, it's just a symbol where you know, man,
I've laid that at the foot of the cross.
I've given that to Jesus.
And there's a blank space.
You can write down today's date.
You can write down what it is, any of those things.
And then lastly, if you're in here tonight
and you just need prayer, we would love to pray with you.
It's a house of prayer.
We want to journey with you in prayer.
So if you're in here tonight and you just want somebody
to step up and just cry with you, to hold you,
to pray with you, whatever it is, we would love to do that.
And so as we close tonight, man,
if you guys would stand to your feet and join us for worship.
Thank you, Lord.
Thank you.