So, I have been strongly convicted by the message that we are about to hear today,
in that I realized that I have done some things wrong in my life and even as a pastor.
And so, I will try to point out my mistakes when I get there,
but that is not what it's about. This message is not about me.
It is about God's Word. It is about how God is working in believers.
The message, as you see up on the screen, are you looking?
Is how to make a stand without becoming a take a stander.
Are you paying attention? Okay.
The first verse I want to read to you today comes from Proverbs chapter 27.
Amen.
Somebody else give me an amen over here on this side.
Amen.
All right. Thank you very much. Very good. Okay.
So, Proverbs chapter 27. It's not a very fun verse to preach out of,
and we'll use a variety of verses, but it will cut to the quick if you're not careful.
Proverbs 27, 15, and 16 says as follows. So, if you're trying to get the book of Proverbs 27,
you're not going to get Proverbs any easier way probably than just kind of go into your Bible
and then go into the right, and then you're going to kind of find chapter 27.
So, you'll probably in the middle of your Bible will be Psalms and slide it to the right as Proverbs,
and then you get 27. That way you can mark it.
I won't be able to do that with all of them, but a number of the verses I'm about to read
do come out of Proverbs. So, if you have a paper Bible and you do that and you're in the book of
Proverbs, you can mark all the verses that I'm about to read as we go over them because you'll
be able to get through the different chapters pretty quickly. Electronic Bible workers,
if you're really good using your Bible a lot, you'll be able to do the same thing,
but it'll be a little harder for you because you'll have to go back to Proverbs every time
and then select the right chapter and the right verse. Yeah, you know, some things are good,
some things are a little harder. Proverbs 27, 15, 16 says this.
A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike.
He who would restrain her restrains the winds and grasps oil with his right hand.
So, before we go any further and look at other verses, I wanted you to see a couple things in
here. The first thing is a constant dripping is something like that just nags at you,
just bothers you, right? It's like it's always, it keeps dripping. I had a variety of nightmares
for about a year and a half about our house and how the roof had begun to leak and I was up there
trying to repair the leaks and the more I repaired the leaks, the more new leaks would come and I was
in the attic and I was looking, there's a drip here and a drip there and a drip there. None of
them were pouring down like waterfalls, but there were lots of drips and I was trying to fix the
drips and you know when that went away? The nightmare stopped when we got a new roof on our
house. Now the truth is there was no dripping. The roof was not leaking. I was just thinking it
was leaking, but I can say to you that a constant dripping on a day of steady rain is annoying,
okay? It's a difficult thing to deal with and he makes that clear in this text. He says a
contentious woman and a constant dripping on a day of steady rain, they are alike. They continue on,
they're not easily stopped and so on. Before anyone in the room goes, oh I'm kind of escaping this
sermon a little bit today because I don't happen to be a woman and I don't think I'm all that
contentious. I think I may show before we are through that the teachings I'm going to give today
or that I feel like the Lord has given me today apply to men and women alike and you may be more
contentious than you think. So be careful before you dismiss the sermon. To restrain the woman who
is contentious is like restraining the wind. How easily is that accomplished? Pretty much not,
right? You cannot restrain the wind, pretty much. You're more likely to be blown. The better you do
at restraining the wind, by the way, the more likely you are to be blown. If you put up a big sail
and stop the wind in a 10 foot by 10 foot area, you will be swept backwards unless you anchor
yourself to the ground and so on. That's how sailboats generally work. And grasp oil with his right
hand. How easy is it to grasp oil? RJ, you ever pull the oil plug and it starts to drain? You put
your hand up there try to stop it? No, it doesn't really work, does it? I mean you can put your
thumb in the hole or something. Yeah, you could, you could, yeah, you're going to get a mess no
matter what. Restraining oil, catching it in your hand, not really easily. And then, and by the way,
oil doesn't even wash off easy. So after you're all that's done, you've got that huge mess, you've
got a big mess to clean up and it's not that easy. All in all, it seems like a contentious woman is a
problem. Proverbs 26, 21 then, so you're going back a chapter, says this, like charcoal to hot embers
and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife. So let's take it backwards.
Strife is problems, right? Strife is when life is not going well, you're really struggling,
you're having a hard time getting through, you feel like you could just die on the spot. That's strife.
Strife. To kindle, there we go, to kindle strife is to kind of bring it about, get it going really
good, right? So sometimes we do this, we're having a bad day. You ever been having a bad day and
something's not quite working right? And so you break it and now you've got a problem from now on,
right? It's not, it's like, I'm not liking what's going on with my phone. So you dash your phone on
the ground, oh crud, now my phone is broken. So now you've got all these problems, replace your
phone, whatever. Or could be, you know, your day is going horribly and so you just jam the gas pedal
down and go 20 mile an hour over the speed limit, next thing you know you're getting a ticket. So now
you've added the ticket on top of the bad day, right? And you can go on and on. There's lots of
ways to kindle strife, to make it bigger and badder than it was before. This verse says that a
contentious man does that very, very well. If you are a contentious man, you have a tendency to make
things worse when they're already kind of bad. That's what you're good at. Charcoal to hot embers
and wood to fire means you take it, you just keep it going. You're fueling it, you're keeping going.
The hot embers, they're just kind of burning out. If you just left them go, they'd just burn out.
But now you put coal or charcoal, burnable charcoal on there, up it goes. Yes sir?
What was the reference? This is Proverbs 26-21. Yep. And so charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire
means not only do you keep the bad stuff going, but you make the bad stuff bigger and worse
if you are a person who is contentious. Proverbs 21-9 now, so we're going back a little bit further,
back, says, it's better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious
woman. So if you're in a house with a woman and she's contentious, and remember if she's
contentious, it's hard to hold her back. That's what Proverbs 27 told us. And I'll just say that
is not only that, grasping her is like grasping oil with your right hand. It's pretty much not
going to happen. Now we learn that it's better to live in the corner of a roof than in a house
shared with a contentious woman. Ouch. The truth is, man or woman, contentious people are hard to
deal with. A contentious person is a person not only as we see here who sparks up strife or makes
it worse, but they're just a person who's ready to fight. They're ready to fight for, maybe ready to
fight what they believe in, maybe ready to fight for what they stand for or what they think is right.
I've known a lot of people in my life, and some of them are in this room, who have what I would call
a high sense of justice. They know what they think is right. And when somebody does in their
presence what is wrong, that gets them worked up. And you would say, well that's not contentious,
that's just standing up for what's right. Well that remains to be seen. I'd like to stick a pin
in that for a second if we could and come back and say, is it or is it not contentious? Just take a
stand for what you believe is right. That's the question. Because if it is contentious, then
someone would be better off living in the corner of a roof than sharing a house with you if you
believe in standing up for what's right. Right? We sang about standing up for what's right just today.
We'll take a stand. But if you listen closely to the words of that song, there's more to it than
simply taking a stand for what you believe is right. Notice also that contentiousness is often
about how you come across or how you do what it is that you're doing. To kindle strife,
like a contentious man is very capable of doing, has something to do with whether when they're
standing up for what they believe in, how they're doing it. Right? Proverbs 27 14, so you're right
in the neighborhood, go to the right six chapters, says, he who blesses his friend with a loud voice
early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. In other words, if you come by Josh's house
about 5 a.m., and I picked a particularly early time because Josh does tend to get up fairly early
most days, but if you come about 5 a.m. and he's sound asleep and his alarm hasn't gone off and you
go, hey brother Josh, I just come to bless you, just want to say how much I appreciate you, and he's sound
asleep in his bed. Now there might be some blessing in that, he might be grateful that you stopped by,
he might be grateful that you're trying to bless him, whatever, but he was sound asleep a minute ago,
you know, and he's got to get up for work. That turns your blessing into something that may not
be so much of a blessing. Okay? In fact, according to Proverbs 27, your blessing is reckoned as a
curse. What's that fool doing yelling at my door at 5 a.m.? Right? It could be anything. You come to
bless a brother or a sister and you come in a way that does not. Example, you're hanging out with
somebody and they do something that's clearly wrong, they make a mistake, or they tell a story
that they did something that's wrong. Now would a brother, if they're in the wrong, want to know
they're in the wrong? Well sure they would, but you're sitting at the table with them and there's
a half dozen other people there, and they say it, and it just kind of slides by, nobody really knows
what, but you noticed it and you notice it's wrong, and you say to them in front of everybody else,
hey I just want to stop you right there for a second. I just heard you say you did this,
is that right? Yeah, that's what I said. Well the Bible says do this instead. Clearly you're wrong,
right? And now you've got this whole crowd of people that's watching you, and even though you're
bringing the truth, the way you're bringing the truth is not right. It's hurtful. Now they publicly
told the story, but it was, it's pretty clear that everybody just kind of let it slide, right? Now if
they want to be truly correct, after you correct them in private, they would have to come back in
public and say without naming you at all, hey I realized I told you this story, but you know
actually I see I made a mistake there, right? And then they have the opportunity to correct themselves.
Okay, so how you bring the truth has a big impact on whether you're telling whether you're a
contentious person, or whether you're just really trying to help, whether you're really trying to
bless or not. If you come with a loud voice early in the morning, or by any other means that's
considered atrocious, it will be reckoned as a curse to the person who does so, not as a blessing.
Proverbs 13 10 then says, through insolence. So that's pride. Now it's interesting because the
King James translates this a little differently, and both have to be correct, because they're both
translations of the original language. So the King James says essentially, and I'm quoting from
memory here, that only by pride, or only through pride, does contentiousness come, right? And then
the New American Standard translates it this way, through insolence, which is kind of like pride
in yourself that doesn't take into account what anybody else thinks, through insolence comes
nothing but strife. So one says only by pride comes the contentiousness or the strife, and one says
that nothing but strife or contentiousness comes from being prideful or insolent. I submit to you
that both are correct. This is a one-way street that starts where you are, and when you start
to think, I'm right, I'm okay, I'm good, I'm going to be fine, no matter what anybody thinks,
and we've even heard it said in this room at times, and I've even preached it, we don't have
to worry about what other people think. Now I've always clarified that and say, you do kind of have
to worry a little bit, not worry, but be concerned, because what reflects on you, reflects not on you,
but the Lord whom you serve. So what you do does reflect on Jesus. You want to be a little concerned,
right, that's why we are a light before men, to be a little concerned about what they think about you,
but as Christians get grown up a little bit, we start thinking, I don't care what other people think,
I don't care what anybody thinks, I only care what God thinks, I'm living for an audience of one.
No, you are not living for an audience of one. In fact, in some sense, you're not living at all,
right, you were dead, and you're trespassing sins brought to life, but now we live not for ourselves,
but for the one who lives through us, who is Jesus Christ, right, we live for Jesus. Jesus is living
in you, Jesus is helping you live, and Jesus cares about the way Christians act, because it reflects
on him. You are his church, his bride, I care about the way my wife acts, and I'm very blessed
mostly by the way she acts, almost all the time, because she represents Jesus, not because of me,
right, it doesn't matter, like she can misrepresent me, and we'll talk about it, we'll work it out,
right, or I misrepresent her, she'll talk to me about it, we'll work it out, but really what we
don't ever want to do is misrepresent Jesus, and so you have to be careful about being okay, because
when you think you're okay, and you're going to be okay no matter what, and stop caring what other
people think, realize that leads one way street to nothing but strife. Just think for a moment
about the story of Stephen, not going to go there and read it, but it's going to give you just a
tiny synopsis of it, Stephen was an apostle and a deacon in the church very early on, and he preached
to the Jews on the temple, on the Jewish temple steps, he preached to them that they had crucified
the Messiah, and in response they did what? They stoned him, they killed him dead, now he got to go
to heaven, he's a martyr coming to the kingdom of God before you or I, that's wonderful, but I don't
think Stephen was really looking to be stoned that day, he didn't go out and say I'm going to preach
it so that everybody's truly offended, the bottom line is if you tell the truth in a crowd of people
don't want to hear the truth, you might wind up stoned, or any other kind of attacked, right, so
do you stand up for the truth? Yes, you stand up for the truth, do you stand up for the truth in
an obnoxious way so that you will be attacked for standing up for the truth? No, you don't need to
solicit the attack, if somebody says they don't want to hear it, then you say okay, I'm not going
to tell you, right, you honor their request, and say no I'm going to keep telling them, I'm going to
keep telling them, I'm going to keep telling them, because they got to be saved, I desire them to be saved,
you can't save them, only God can do that, and if they don't want to hear what you're saying,
and you keep telling it, you need to understand you're stirring up strife, you're a contentious person.
The verse was, through insolence or pride comes nothing but strife, or only through pride comes
contentiousness or strife, but wisdom is with those who receive counsel, you need to be willing
to listen, willing to grow from your experiences, now Proverbs 6 16, so now you're going back
quite a bit to the left, another seven chapters, says this, verse 16, there are six things which
the Lord hates, now listen, anytime the Bible says God hates something, you take that super serious,
right, because God literally is love, so if it says God hates something, I mean it's a big deal to him,
all right, and it says this, there are six things that the Lord hates, yes seven, which are an
abomination to him, and that word abomination there means like he would spit it out of his mouth as if
he accidentally chewed on poop, that's what it means, so in other words, God really does not like
these things, and then I skip down a little later on the list, and here it is, a false witness who
utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers, and now we're getting to the heart of the matter,
here's where contentiousness really becomes a problem, okay, so first of all, there are those who
contend because they're essentially bearing false witness, and God really doesn't like that, in fact
it's so much so that he put in the Ten Commandments, right, that you can't bear false witness,
but then it says, and one who spreads strife or contention among brothers, so people who are supposed
to be united, but now are coming up separate because somebody is causing something to happen between them,
I'm going to give you a story from the New Testament that speaks about this, and I've cheated
and turned my Bible already there, so you'll have to race to catch up to me, in Mark chapter 14,
Mark chapter 14, it is a story that you may not be completely unfamiliar with, it says in Mark 14,
one the Passover and unleavened bread were two days off, and the chief priests and the scribes
were seeking how to seize him, that is Jesus, by saying not during the festival lest there be
a riot of the people, and while he was in Bethany at the home of Simon the leper, and reclining at
the table there came a woman with an alabaster vial, a very costly perfume of pure nard, and she
broke the vial and poured it over his head, but some were indignantly remarking to one another,
why has this perfume been wasted, for this perfume might have been sold for over 300 denarii
and the money given to the poor, and they were scolding her, so notice there's there are people
amongst the group, and we know that Judas is one of the very outspoken members of this group from
the other gospel, and there are people who are speaking against her for pouring the perfume on
her head, and then now others begin to scold her, so there is dissension in the ranks. Now let me ask
you for a minute, is this woman a follower of Jesus? I mean we have every reason to believe that
she's a follower of Jesus, right? She's there doing this for Jesus, in fact later Jesus will say,
and truly I say to you wherever the gospel is preached in the whole world, and also which this
woman has done shall be spoken of in memory of her. She has never been forgotten, thousands of
years later we are reminded of what she has done, you follow? So there they are scolding her,
talking bad about her. Jesus replies to them and says, let her alone, why do you bother her?
She has done a good deed to me, for the poor you always have with you, and whenever you wish you
can do them good, but you do not always have me. She has done what she could, she has anointed my
body beforehand for the burial, and truly I say to you wherever the gospel is preached in the whole
world, that also which this woman has done shall be spoken of in memory of her. And Judas Iscariot,
who was one of the twelve, went off to the chief priests in order to betray him to them. See Judas
was offended, took a stand about the waste of the perfume, took a stand about what she was doing,
and now goes out to make arrangements to betray Jesus. I submit to you that sometimes people who
are contentious and bringing about strife, they are nothing but betrayers. So let us be careful
that as we stand up for what we believe is right, that we do not become a betrayer ourselves of the
faith. Should you stand up for what is right? Well that is the question, that is the one that we put
a pin in, if you will, and we are keeping it there. In the book of Titus chapter 3 verses 10 and 11,
we are almost done with the verses for the day. Titus chapter 3 verses 10 and 11, it says this,
reject a factious man after a first and second warning, knowing that such a man is perverted and
is sinning, being self-condemned. I like it when I see that he is self-condemned because we know that
Jesus did not come to condemn people, but rather they are condemned already by what they have done
with the Son of God. That is John 3 verse 17. This tells us to reject, in other words, put out,
or put aside, or be done with a factious man. A factious man is, who as we mentioned in the previous
verses, creates division or strife between brothers or sisters who are supposed to be at peace with
one another. And now we are told to reject a factious man after a first and second warning.
We do that because we know that this man is perverted, he is twisted, he is messed up in
his following of Jesus, and he is in sin, it says, and is sinning. He is not doing what God would have
him to do, being self-condemned. In other words, his own actions condemn him. Ouch, this hurts,
doesn't it, a little bit? You have to be careful here. Have you ever spoke against the church?
Have you ever spoke against another believer? Have you ever said, well I am mad at so and so
because they did this or did that, or Mr. Tremont, let me tell you a story. Two separate stories,
I will not name names. I had a woman come to me and she said she was angry. She was angry with
another woman in the church because of something that she had done. She had made her feel bad,
named her in a particular act, and it made her look bad, mocked her, she said. And I said, well,
have you talked to her about it? She said, no, I don't want to talk to her about it. I want to
avoid trouble. I don't want any trouble. I said, well, you know, Scripture says in Matthew 18,
you got to talk to her about it. No, I am not going to do that. And I said, well, until you are ready
to do that, there can be really no peace. You have to be ready to forgive and then you get peace by
talking to her about it. She said, well, I am not going to do that. Now I stopped there. That is as
far as I went. I had already told her what the Bible said, what she was supposed to do, whatever.
But according to Titus 3, what should I have done? I warned her one more time. She said, this is your
first warning. This is your first warning because you are unwilling to reconcile with this person
who has supposedly wronged you. You are not teaching them what is right and you are not going to
reconcile and you are not going to forgive. That is what you are saying, right? Right. So what you
are creating then is a division, a division that you are in the church, she is in the church,
you are creating a division. This is a contentious woman who created a division with another woman.
The other woman did not actually even do wrong the thing that she thought was wrong because I
did talk to both of them separately, privately, quietly and figured out that really what she
thought she did, she did not even actually do. There was a misunderstanding. What she did might
have been wrong, but it was not wrong in the way that the woman was blaming her for. So there is
contention there. What I should have said was consider this your one warning. Then going back
later and said, okay, we need to talk about this. You have a problem with this? Are you willing now
to, nope, then consider this your second warning. Okay, now I come back still later. Are we ready to
solve this problem? Nope, we are not going to do it. Okay, wash my hands of you. I am done with you.
The church is done with you. Do you not understand that the unity between God's people,
we are literally supposed to be ready to die for one another. If there is somebody in this room
that you have contention with, somebody in this room that has bothered you, somebody in this room
that acts in a way that you cannot stand and it is getting under your skin, and you would allow
that to create division between you and them, or you would allow them, there to be division between
that person and another person because you think, well, they kind of deserve it. They are doing it
themselves. If you would allow that, you are not living the church that Jesus Christ died for.
You are not the bride of Christ if that is the way you are. Paul said to Titus, wrote to Titus,
if a factious man, you could insert woman there, after a first and second warning, reject them.
You cannot divide me from the church because I am the church. You take me out of the body and put
me on a sidewalk, I will die because I am the body of Christ. And when factions develop because of
somebody that is in the church, it says, well, they are wrong. I am just going to let it go,
but I am still going to stew on it. I am still going to remember it. That is contentious and
it is wrong. And Paul said, be done with that person, not the person who originally was being
corrected, because that person might be willing to be corrected, but the person who is unwilling
to do the correcting. So are we supposed to take a stand? That is still our question. Are we supposed
to take a stand? Still the question of the day. Galatians 5.15 says this, but if you bite and
devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. So in other words,
in the church, as believers, it could be, and I will leave this door open if you want to use it,
but there could be a believer that is in the world and they do not come to church, and they claim to
be a believer. And they say, well, I do not need to go to church. Church has got problems. Church
has got hypocrisy. Church does not do this right. So and so and that church hurt me and I have not
gone back since and I am not going to church anywhere because I am just going to go to church
and get hurt. Whatever. That is a factious person. That is a contentious person. And living in a house
with them, you would be better off living on the edge of a roof. Fixing their problems is going to
be like catching oil in your hand. It is not going to happen. So what do you do? You say, okay, I am
done with you. I am not going to keep coming begging on behalf of the church, whom Christ already died
for, by the way. I am not going to keep coming begging on behalf of Jesus that you would repent.
I am not going to keep doing that. I am done. We have been here three times already. Every time,
all you do is tell me how much is wrong with so and so who claims to be a believer. But you are not
doing anything about it. If you will not get in the church and do something about the problem that
the church has, then you are the problem that the church has. That is what we are learning in the
Word today. But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.
So are we supposed to take a stand? Well, already you know the answer to the question, right?
We have to stand up for what is right. We are required in Scripture to stand up for what is
right. But what about sin and the lives of other believers? Well, you know Matthew 18. Well, guess
what? There is a little something in Matthew 18. As I read it today, now I preached this. This was
my senior sermon and I studied it. When I did that, I studied it for probably a month and a half. I
was really super thorough to study this. I preached it just the way it is written. In fact, I
preached a larger portion of Matthew 18 than I am going to read today. Today, as I studied it, I
discovered something in the Word. Can you believe it? I discovered something in the verse. After I
studied it for like two months back in the day, preached it several times since then, and I read
these verses that I am about to read to you, and I discovered something. I am going to show you what
I discovered. Because if I discovered it, my guess is you probably haven't seen it even if you have
read it before. And so we are looking at Matthew 18 verses 15 through 20. And it says, and some of
this won't be new to you if you have read this before, but I expect some of it will be new to
you. And somebody in here probably hasn't read this before. So we are all going to go there together.
Here we go. Matthew 18, 15. It says, And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private. In
other words, if you see a brother who claims to be a Christian and they sin, you go and correct them
or tell them about their sin in private. Not publicly, but in private. If he listens to you,
you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you,
so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every fact may be confirmed. Now the purpose of
the two or three is multi-fold. One is so that there is a record. Everybody knows. There are no
questions about what was said, what was done. But the other is because you could be wrong. You could
be correcting somebody and you are actually wrong. And they go, why are we here again? No, you are
saying this person is in sin. That is not really a sin because of these circumstances or whatever.
It doesn't line up with scripture. You are not even talking about the same thing. You are comparing
apples to oranges here. So then that two or three others can stop it at that point. So the second
step, take two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every fact may be
confirmed. Verse 17, and if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. Notice this phrase.
And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. Did you get that? Now we have a spot
in our membership mediums built in to do member correction, if you will, to get to this point in
time. So we have membership meetings. Anybody else, anybody been working with somebody, talked to
them and they didn't listen, and you talked to them with one, two or three others, they are present,
they still didn't listen, and then you are at that final stage so you can bring it here.
But notice it says, tell it to the church. It does not say, bring them to the church.
They don't have to be present. That's the problem that has infested this level of accountability
for me for the last 20 years because I don't like, I'm very careful to not talk about anyone
when they're not there. Because I understand gossip and slander. Here is Jesus saying,
we talked to them, they would not listen, they're continuing in their sin, so we've come here today,
I've come here today and there are two or three witnesses with me because they were there and they
can testify that we did indeed talk to them. And I'm not going to lie, I'm not going to lie,
I didn't leave them as witnesses and there she is. She came and she talked to them, she's
they refuse to repent, they will not turn back as corroborated by witnesses
committed to testify and yet I did not hear what she told me. I do not understand what
because I'm past that stage and I can tell the church without that person
she said to me, I don't understand who she says he's talking to, what is his intention.
present. That's what I found in the text that I've missed for decades. Nobody's
She said it was a words ofibles that have not been read about the science of being early
perfect. Praise Jesus because if we were perfect we'd be in danger of the very
mani. Our very first type of chili is chili gloves. We don't correct ourselves as if we
first thing which was insolence always breeds strife, right? So back to 18, we
were in 16, 17, and if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church, and if
you refuse to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a
tax gatherer. And so in other words, I tell it to the church whether they're
present or not, then the church has a responsibility. What is the church
supposed to do? The church as a whole goes back and talks to the individual,
right? Because otherwise how is that individual refusing to listen? See this
is the problem that I've had because we've gotten to that point in time and
I'm like why am I the only one? I feel like I'm the only one. I went and talked to them
and then I took a couple people, we talked to them, we got there, and I bring
it, and I don't want to bring it to the church and talk about them so I'm already
stopping myself because I don't want to talk about them when they're not present,
right? And then at least one case I can think of I was forced to do that because
they told me I don't care what you do, I'm not coming blah blah blah. So I come to
the church and talk to them and then the church, that's us all, are supposed to
talk to the individual. You say well how's that possible? Well this is the
problem. Do you not care that there is a brother who served alongside of you a
month ago or served alongside of you six months ago or however long it's been
since they fell away and you don't care that they're walking in sin and could
potentially be headed for hell if they're not truly saved? You do not care?
Here's a person who professed the name of Jesus Christ. You called them brother
and you walked in this building and said hey brother so-and-so and you shook their
hand and that's your brother but now they're walking in sin and you don't
even care. Ouch! Why? How could this be? The church collectively all together
should be going after that person. You text them, you call them, you show up at
their house not at 5 a.m. but it's sometime appropriate and you say look
brother we really want you to stop. We really want you to come back and in
this, this is one of the few times in Scripture that it is very patently clear
that the church must be united because it doesn't say that some members from
the church go or the church elects some people to go or the pastor of the church
goes or one of the deacons go or the board of deacons goes. It says that the
church after having talked to them if they still will not listen then let that
person be as a Gentile or a tax collector. Truly I say to you whatever you
shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth
shall be loosed in heaven and don't distance that from the previous text. We
have a job to do. We must restrain the sin in our own lives or really beat it
down if that's at all possible and also in the lives of others caring not only
for our other concern for our own concerns but also for those of others.
This is again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth about anything that
they may ask it shall be done for them by my Father who is in heaven for where
two or three gathered together in my name there I am in their midst. That is
the verse that is so often misquoted to say we're gonna still worship God today
even though we only have a couple of us which is not the way it was meant at all.
We are supposed to be united. Are we supposed to stand up? Yes! The answer
isn't unabashed. Yes! Stand up for what you believe in in every context. The
question is how does the Bible teach us to stand up and as we come to the
conclusion I'm going to share that with you today. The synopsis I'm about to
share with you is amended from an incorrect synopsis that I got from
BibleKnowingJesus.com and I'll probably get a nasty hate mail or something. I
won't actually because they're probably for us to be Christians but they have an
outline that you can look it up on there and if this will hit Facebook and
somebody will probably go there and tag them and whatever and that's fine I hope
they do because that'd be good publicity. But the bottom line is some of the points
that they had in the outline of how to stand up, how to correct, how to do what
it is that we're talking about doing, were not complete. They were not actually
biblical or accurate and so I went back in after studying it and I amended it
slightly and it's not that it's it's not that anything they said was wrong it's
that they were sort of missing some key points in the words that they chose.
And so the first thing is a person who wants to stand up for what they believe
in but does not want to be considered contentious. They want to stand up for
what they believe in but not become a person who's just a take a stander.
Are you looking at the title? First of all that person must have peace with God. There's
a lot of fighting and strife going on in the world. There's a lot of disagreeing
politics all over the places about making the other person look a little
less fit for office than you are. Fighting over laws, fighting over rules and
schools, fighting over rules on the job, fighting over the boss man says I got to
do this but I don't agree, whatever. You're probably not going to have peace
with the world or the world system. In fact if you strive to have peace with
the world system, if you become a friend of the world you're no friend of God.
What you must have if you're going to be a take a stander, if you're going to take
a stand without becoming a take a stander, there we go, is peace with God. You
must first and foremost have peace with God. So if God says go and talk to that
person about their sin then that'll be easy. But if God's Word says go and
talk to that person about their sin which is what it says anytime you
recognize that a brother or sister has sinned, then you're supposed to go.
And you don't, don't think you have peace with God. Don't intentionally sin against
God and think that you have peace with Him. Peace with God is established through
Jesus Christ, it's true. But the same wrath of God that was against us as
sinners before Jesus Christ paid the price also can oppose your course, not
you personally, not send you into hell because you're saved in Jesus, but oppose
your course when you choose a course that is sin. And the Bible says if you
know that a brother is sin you're supposed to go and confront them
privately. So to do anything other than that is sin. Think not that you have
peace with God. So here's what I see happening. We refuse to go and confront a
brother or sister privately because of their sin, but we let the knowledge of
that sin affect us or affect our relationship with them or affect our
relationship with other people in the church. So that person is supposed to be
a person that has peace with God, the person that's walking around carrying a
grudge, refusing to forgive, whatever, because they didn't go and correct them
in person one-on-one in private. So who's in sin? Well in that case both parties, if
the original sin, the original offender is in sin, then they're in sin, that's
true. But the person who knows that they're in sin and didn't do anything
about it, they're in sin. So now you got a church that's all screwed up. And where
is the peace with God that we're supposed to have? Peace with God allows
you to confront somebody for one primary reason. You do understand if you confront
somebody. Like if I say, hey Curtis, I saw what you did and that's wrong. Now Curtis is
going to listen to me because Curtis has respect for me. Nothing about Jesus,
nothing about the Bible. He might listen if I say, well the Bible says, he might
listen to that, or he might not, that's his choice. But he's going to listen to me
because I have respect. I say, I saw you did something wrong, right? But if I see
Curtis did something wrong, I let him continue in his ignorance and then I go
over here and I say, hey Kareem, you see what Curtis did wrong? Don't ever do that. What am I?
I am contentious. I am bringing a writ. I ought to be warned. That's where I'm
supposed to be. And I had no peace with God. Moreover, if I say, hey Curtis, how
you doing man? You're looking good today. I'm really glad you came today. It's
great to see you. And I walk away and in the back of my mind is the whole time,
the whole time, is something that I saw Curtis do that was inappropriate and I
never said a word. I never said a word. Now I'm supposed to have peace with God,
but Matthew 18 says, I should have confronted him in private, right? That's
what it says. So now we've got all these people walking around going, well I got
peace with God, but they don't, but he doesn't, and she doesn't, and he
doesn't, and he doesn't, and I know they don't because they don't do what they're
supposed to do, but I've got peace with God. What? That's not biblical. You get
peace with God when you walk with the Lord and do what the Lord would have you
to do and you're obedient and faithful and peace just grows because the Holy
Spirit gets to do what he wants to do and that's when the fruit of the Spirit
grows in you. So do what you are supposed to do and stop worrying about whether
somebody else is doing what they're supposed to do or not. And I use that
phrase very particularly, stop worrying about it. There's no worry because if you
know, if you discover along your road that they're doing something they're not
supposed to do, then you go and talk to them privately and say privately, look I
know you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing and I want you to
repent of that. And what if they won't? What if they don't? Well if they won't and
they don't and they blame it on the church, then they're a factious brother
who gets two warnings, or sister, you get two warnings and then you're done. And if
they say, well no, I know it's sin but I'm going to continue in it, then you go
with two or three others and if they listen, great, and if they don't, huh, you
take it to the church. And if the church still can't correct them, then they're
done. We don't got to worry about it. We still just keep presenting the gospel to
them because they may or may not be saved to keep presenting the gospel to
them, but we don't have to worry about trying to get them to do the right thing.
We need to just keep presenting the gospel back to when they were in the
world, which is where they may actually be. You need peace with God. I need peace
with God. Otherwise we could just be contentious brothers and sisters, which
Jesus does not favor. That is not the way he wants his church to live. Moreover,
peacemakers initiate instead of ignoring or following the bad example. In other
words, when you see a bad example, you go and you correct it in private as you're
supposed to, right, you initiate the contact. You don't wait and go, well
someday when there's just the right time I'm going to talk to him about that and
they come out and talk to you, hey, you see that football game? Oh yeah, by the way, I saw you lied.
When's that right time come, by the way? It doesn't. Peacemakers initiate. They
step up. They stand up. They stand out. They are a light. In fact, this is the
great blessing. If you would just step up, stand out, and be a light in the world,
the Holy Spirit of God provides the same conviction to all men. And so when you do
the right thing in front of a person who knows that they're doing the wrong thing,
or maybe they're ignorant and don't even know that they're doing the wrong thing,
they will see you doing the right thing and they'll go, oh yeah, I'm not sure about that.
Am I doing the right thing now? I thought I was doing the right thing. I've been
letting it slide. Didn't think it was a big deal, but there they just, they keep
showing up. They keep doing the right thing. Peacemakers initiate. You're not
fighting against. You're fighting for, if you're fighting at all, for what? For the
gospel. For what's right. For the Word of God. We stand up for what we believe in
and we follow Jesus. We don't follow those examples, or well they did it and
they got away with it, so it must not really be wrong. No. Initiate doing the
right thing. Initiate the conversation about what the wrong thing might be and
whether it's happening in that person's life. Peacemakers walk in the fruit of
the Spirit when performing their peacemaking duties. You're going to have
to be love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, kindness,
faithfulness, and self-control in that person's life. There's a good chance that
they're missing one or maybe all of those fruits because they're in sin. Now
if you go there and find out they're not in sin, you may discover a lot of that
fruit and wouldn't that be awesome? But if you go there and they're in sin, you
have to be the fruit of the Spirit in that person's life. So when you go to
them and you say, look I want to talk to you about this thing that I see
you're doing, I think it's wrong. I just want to be sure what I'm seeing is what
I'm actually seeing and I ask you to repent of that and turn back to the Lord.
And they get mad and they want to throw a punch or they get yelling or whatever.
What do you do? You come back with peace. You come back with patience. You're okay.
You're walking in peace with God. You're doing what you're
supposed to be doing. You're initiating the contact as you're supposed to. And so
you can literally bring love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness,
faithfulness, kindness, and self-control into that situation because you're taking
care of. You're gonna be fine. Also we persevere in the truth. So we just keep
standing firm. Keep believing what's right. Keep doing what's right. One of
the young girls, this is the back row today, she said I got a boy in my class.
He doesn't believe in God and he doesn't believe in Jesus. So I tried to tell him
but he doesn't believe in God and he doesn't believe in Jesus. I said yeah
you're gonna run into some of those. I said you know what's funny about that is
someday that person may be more adamantly a follower of God than you or I are. They
may keep going and people just keep living in front of them and witnessing
and telling about God and someday they may accept Jesus in earnest and become a
Christian and they might be a bigger preacher or a bigger servant, a deacon, or
pastor, or a mom, or a dad that raises their family in a godly way and and won't
brook any nutsness. Right? It's all Jesus all the time. They may be more fired up
than you or I but right now you see that they don't believe in God. They don't
believe in Jesus. So what do you do? We just live it out before them. Persevere
in the truth. If you are right you will always be right. If you are right
situationally you are probably nitpicking. You are probably being contentious but
if you are right, if it's sin, then it's always sin. It's not like what think
this might be sin for you. That's your own private interpretation of scripture.
You persevere in the truth and walk it out. If you are right you will always be
right and then the final thing is you will outlast all opposition by relying
on the Lord's sustenance. No matter what they do in response to your coming to
them, no matter what they do, if we live for Jesus and they come to arrest us
for coming to church on a Sunday as we fear might be the case during COVID as
has actually happened in a lot of churches during COVID, right? People were
getting arrested for serving Jesus, arrested for leading worship, arrested
for being on the church property on Sundays. Not here in Ohio of course but
in other places. There were laws that were made, executive orders that were put
out. You cannot sing praises to Jesus and there were people meeting every Sunday
still singing praises to Jesus even though they were in a state where they
were not allowed to do that anymore and we will outlast the opposition by
relying on the Lord's sustenance. Do what you're supposed to do. Be who you are
supposed to do. Continue to appeal to the Lord or perhaps just maybe you are
actually the contentious one. Maybe you are actually the one that's judging the
other person on a matter that doesn't, that scripture doesn't talk about. Maybe
you want to come and bring a fuss or a difficulty. I was talking with Ariana
yesterday. We were driving the car and there was something that happened and it
got under her skin. She got irritated and she was teaching the other person that
it was not correct. She said you shouldn't do that. You're not supposed to
do that and she was not totally incorrect in the arena of social mores.
What the other person was doing is sort of not appropriate, right? But it's not
listed in the Bible anywhere and so when they were not listening to her and went
back to doing it a few moments later she was getting upset. She was getting
worked up, right? Does it bother you that I have messed up the title of the sermon
three times since I began preaching? Are you here? Do you even know that I've
messed up the title of the sermon three times since I began preaching today? That
the title on the screen says to you, how to take a stand without becoming a
taker of stands, which is the closest thing to proper English you can get when
you're making a sentence like that I think. And I have quoted it as how to
take a stand without becoming a taking a stander. Does that bother you? If it
bothers you, why? Because it ain't my problem, it's your problem. That's not a sin.
Is it nagging at you? Would you ever get up and preach a sermon in front of the
church and properly preach pastor, dressed pastor Dan, would you ever do
that? What's improperly dressed? Inappropriate, like in your underwear. No, I
would never preach him underwear. I don't think I could bring myself to do it
anyway unless the Lord, you know, that would be weird. It would be really weird. I don't
think God would ask me to do that. No way. Not happening. But would you wear jeans
with a suit jacket? Because some people would never do that. Yes, I would do that.
Would you wear a t-shirt with holes in it to preach the gospel? Yeah, I'd do that.
Because when I get dressed on Sunday morning, I literally spend time in prayer.
You know, like this is stupid. Why does he do this? Well, you got a problem with that?
Take it up with the Lord. I literally pray and ask God what I'm supposed to wear to
come to church on Sunday morning. And nine times out of ten, he tells me which
shirt to wear. You believe that? I don't care. I don't care if you believe it or
not. It's true. Today, I'm wearing a dress you on my left foot and a tennis you on
my right foot. And you didn't even know it. There's more things wrong with us
individually than anyone will ever know. You understand? You don't go and correct
somebody out of pride or arrogance. You don't go and correct somebody because
what they're doing bothers you. Get over it! You go and correct them because it's
sin. And when you go, you walk in the peace of God as a peacemaker, initiating,
following the Lord in that person's life and the same as it is in yours. You walk
in the fruit of the Spirit because when you get there, you may be the only fruit
of the Spirit that's there. And you walk into their lives to do that persevering
in the truth so that if they ignore you and don't want to listen, you can say,
it's okay. Jesus is still the same today that he was yesterday. What you're doing
is still sin whether you believe it or not. And I'll be back with two or three
more people. We'll hash this out and find out because I really believe it is. And
they're gonna go, no don't bring anybody back. I don't even want to talk about it.
I'll just resign my membership. That doesn't work that way. Sorry. I have to
follow the biblical command. So when we come knocking, you cannot answer if you
want, but we're coming. Because you said you're a follower of Jesus and I love
you and I would never leave you in the lurch. I'm not walking. If your clothes
are on fire, I'm jumping on you to put you out. And that's where we're at. And we
all have shortcomings more than anybody will ever know. You're covering it
up beautifully. Nobody knows. But when they do and it comes out, your secret sin
becomes public, comes out into the light, I bet you're just hoping that people
will still love you. People will still stand up for you. People will still be
your brother and sister. They'll still try to haul you back from the fire and
help you live for the Lord the best you can. Now that, that's the church. That's
the church that I got saved into. That's the church that I wanted to plant. That's
the church I preach. And yeah, if I have to, I'll be the guy at the membership
meeting talking about you. Because people need to know. If you're here today and
you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and that big one
has been your thing and you've been covering it up, you've been letting
people think that you're saved. You've been letting people think that your
faith is placed where it belongs. It's time to put it away. It's time to say no,
Jesus died for me and I am now going to live for Him from now on. No stops. Me and
Jesus to the end. And you're gonna cut some things out, you're gonna add some
things in, and you're gonna stand up at times when it's really feels inconvenient.
It's not a calling to preachers. That's a different thing. It's not a calling to
Apostles. That's a different thing. This is a calling to Christians that we would
get good at privately correcting one another so that we can get good at
living for Jesus. Maybe you're here today and you say, I hear what you're
saying, I know it's in the Word, and I know I've not done it. And you say, well
I've not done it because I don't have peace with God. I struggle to have
having peace with God. I don't have the peace of the Holy Spirit, the fruit
growing in me. Listen, it just might be that you're a contentious person. You
stand up when you want to stand up. Because listen, do you ever go get
your fast food and your sandwich comes back to you and it's got stuff on
it that you would never eat in your lifetime? Do you just eat it anyway even
though you're like, avocados? I mean, or, yeah, some of us love avocados. Some of us
would be like, what? Or you order Big Mac from McDonald's and get spoiled
mayonnaise. There's one. Nobody else orders spoiled mayonnaise on their
sandwich. You just eat it anyway, right? No. So you don't get another sandwich
either, but then you go online and leave a one-star review and complain to all
your friends and family for months about the one sandwich that you got from
McDonald's that had spoiled mayonnaise on it. That's how we handle it, right? No. If
you get a sandwich of spoiled mayonnaise, you just take it back and get another
sandwich. And if you can't that day, then you call the restaurant and say, I needed
another sandwich. I couldn't come back that day. And they give you credit. And if
they still won't, then you leave a one-star review and pray for them
because clearly they're walking in ignorance and then you put it away. You're
done with it. You see? The sermon title is wrong just so it could get under
somebody's skin. Shoes are different. The words I chose. The topic may not be what
you wanted to hear today. All that just so it can get under somebody's skin. The
question is when things get under your skin, will you repent and turn to Jesus?
And if what gets under your skin is sin in my life, then you come to me privately
and you say, Pastor Dan, it seems like this a problem. And I'll do the same for
you. At least I hope I will. The question is will you do the same for each other?
That's what it means to be a member of a church. Here or anywhere. And if you ever
go to a church where that's not allowed, get out because Jesus commanded it. Do
you take a stand? Yes, you do. You do so in the peace of God, as a peacemaker,
initiating, walking in the fruit of the Spirit, persevering in the truth, and
outlasting all opposition. And if you overcome in the day that Jesus
comes again, no eye hath seen nor ear hath heard that awesome thing that he
has prepared for us. I ask the praise team to come forward at this time and lead us in our
closing song, but as we sing today, if you're accepting Jesus as your Lord and
Savior for the first time ever, and yes, even while I'm wearing two different
shoes, it's okay, you'll be alright. If you're accepting Jesus as your Lord and
Savior in earnest for the first time ever today, then you come down front and say,
this is me, I want to live for Jesus, I'm tired of the games, I'm just living for
Jesus now. And in a word such as you'll save me, you'll never fail to call on somebody,
to save somebody who calls on him. As you're already here and you say, I'm
already saved, I'm already in the kingdom, I'm glad I've blown this, I know it, I need to
repent and turn back to the Lord and I need to handle this in a Godly way, then you come.
And you say, that's me. I'm gonna handle it in a Godly way from now on. Or maybe just
wherever you are, say, hey that's me, put your hand up and say, yep, that's me today.
Because it could be an awful lot of us if we're a planet divided. You've got
people in your life that you would never confront, I guess if you don't love them enough.
Or maybe it's because you're contentious.
So let's commit to do that. The loving will confront them.
So watch in the peace that we have.
We just stay on with me as we sing this song and then respond as the Lord reads.
Oh, to Jesus I surrender all, to Him I freely give.
I will ever love and trust in Him, because I'm the same.