What's up listeners? Thank you so much for tuning into a very special recording
of the Atomless. This is a recording of our very first live recorded episode at
BreakoutCon this past week. We had a tremendous time as a group. This was our
first time together in person. This was our first live show. This was our first
lots of things and it was all very good. We had a great time with the Breakout
staff, with the crowd that came to see the show, with each other, and I really
hope that you also enjoy the show that we've made for you and we thank Breakout
for facilitating us to actually record the show so that we can share it with
you. For the listeners awareness, just so you know, this contains extremely light
spoilers for events happening up until the end of the Neutrino Downs arc, which
would be about to episode 24. I don't think it spoilers enough that you could
not listen without that, but just in case you're a real stickler and you don't
want any references, that's where you're gonna be safe. You will also hear the
audience doing a lot of participation in this and we thank the audience for
allowing us to put you in this episode and for those who chose to participate.
Incredible work. Thank you. The very last thing that I want to say before I let
you enjoy the show is that we are not doing any special editing for this
episode. Please don't expect our usual sound effects heavy and heavily edited
episode of the Atomless. This is just gonna be the raw recording, so I hope
that you can enjoy it as it is. Thank you and enjoy the show. Oh please do.
Please. I was born for it. Yeah. We still have not gotten a photo with all of us
together. We have been together for over 24 hours in the same space and we have
not got a picture with all of us together. And at PAX U, it was everyone but Moe
and we did not get a picture for the full 72 hours. I was just waiting on the discord like where is it?
Where is the pictures?
Looks like it's running clear. I'm gonna leave this up here if that's not gonna be in your way.
Absolutely not, hero.
Please do not kick it. I will definitely try.
And yeah, you guys should be good I think. Hero. So I will leave you to it. It's just gonna be recording from now until I come back.
Alright. Awesome. Have a great week. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Oh beautiful. Thank you my guy. Thank you. Thank you babe.
I always like it when someone helping me is British. It makes me feel at home.
Like it makes me feel better about, yeah. I'm like they get me.
Oh shit. Very nice. Thank you.
Did you just get a full box of honey dip again? Yeah.
We got the honey dip. Yeah the honey dip specifically.
Okay. Do my boys of dice. We all got our dice here. I have a whole thing if we need them.
Okay. So.
Let me look outside to see if there's anyone else who wants to do this. Absolutely.
Yeah. We can, I mean we're not, we won't hard start at 5 or 5. So this is very, by the way everyone,
this is so heavily audience interaction that you will all be, I will be calling people up to be doing stuff.
And we have fun little things. So you got, hey listen, if you got some, if you got some Adonis OCs that you want to be whacking out of here,
we'll make it work for you baby. Make them canon. Make them canon.
Too many. Too many. Too many for you. Yeah. You don't get any.
You don't get any. We've talked for too long about yours.
The void cards.
Yes. Because we are recording this so it will go up on the main feed. Delicious.
Also, does everyone have a void card? We have these little business cards, which is a small TTRPG for people who know the show.
There is a criminal organization called The Void and their whole thing is that you take the name of the person, of like the place with the first person that you killed in the show.
Not in the show, just first person that you killed whilst you joined the gang. We have a little game which is about finding out what your void name is.
So if you don't have that, please do. Please do pick one up. Please, please, please, please, please.
The point of the game is to put our business card in your pocket and forget that it's there.
So it's a very easy TTRPG game to play.
Yes. Very easy. Very easy. But you don't scan the QR code first.
Yeah, like don't completely forget about the show. Forget about the business card in your pocket.
I didn't realize that when we designed the game. We were telling people to throw our business card in the bottom of a bag.
And never see it again.
Let's give them five. Let's give them until five passed.
Yeah, it's okay. How's everybody's show going?
Yeah.
First day of breakout. Really exciting.
Does anyone have... Oh, also if you have any questions for us while we're waiting.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh my god, yeah.
This is an impromptu panel now.
Yes, we see.
What's the funniest thing in inventory right now?
I have like 20 grenades.
Check that.
Inventory, you said?
Yeah, just like a lot of...
It is also very important for people to know inventory because it might change.
It might change?
It might change depending on how kind our audience are.
So kind.
That's it, yeah. 100,000 credits.
I still have a Braille copy of Alice in Wonderland.
You do.
You gave it to me for good luck. Maybe I gave it back. Maybe I didn't.
Oh, actually that's yours now.
Beautiful.
I don't know how to put that into the festas.
Come on in.
This is just us playing Civ.
I don't know if this is Civ.
That's what the show is.
I've planned nothing for this game.
We'll play like hex grid mechanics because that's all we're going to do.
Yeah, that's it.
Are you guys ready for a really...
I'm going to sneak Civ into every conversation.
How's Marked Out fantastic right now?
Yeah.
Truly.
I love meeting Andre. They put civilization into The Atomless,
and it's just part of the show now.
Yeah, it's a thing that we do when we have downtime, which has been twice.
It's a good game.
There was one day where we started like a four-person game of Civ instead of playing The Atomless,
and I just remember Andre being like, oh, Moe, I'm going to destroy you.
I do want to say they played civilization. I played Coral Island.
We're on a call together, and they're all talking about murdering each other
and taking each other's countries, and I'd be like, I caught a bug.
For the record, I was Canada, so I was not starting any wars.
You were not.
Yeah, just finishing them though.
Just being the reason that the dead have been to the uses.
Yeah.
I won't erase them.
And starting one national park.
Yeah.
Just the one, though.
Was that the one where I had the religion of good vibes that I was spreading throughout the world?
Yes.
Your whole people fell to good vibes.
Well, because I chose a religion, and I picked a scorpion image, and I made it fitness,
and Moe was like, fitness? Like, fit these nuts again.
My god.
And then we never played again.
There's a lot of these nuts jokes in The Atomless server. It's really so fun.
Yeah, I have a character based around whose whole thing, scrap.
I have a character called Scrap whose whole thing is just doing these nuts jokes
and then shooting people in the head. That's their whole fucking character.
That's my son.
That's our son.
Before we start, what's really wild about all this is we, none of us really knew each other
before we actually met.
No, never really.
Except for these two.
Yeah.
No, never, never.
We didn't meet before.
We're dating.
It's not clear.
Yeah, we did like a charity stream or something.
And we did a one shot together.
And we had a Monster of the Week game that we were playing at the time.
Yeah.
There's this person called Dylan.
Yeah.
And he was coming.
There's some seats up at the front.
Wait, what?
And he didn't know who Dylan was. He was like, oh, yes, this is the person called Dylan
who I think is going to be in The Atomless.
Yeah.
Because I know you're going to be best friends.
We're going to be best friends. I'm going to get them tattooed on my arm.
We have matching tattoos.
And it's like he's going to ask him to his friend, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
We're going to be best friends.
Best friends ever.
OK.
Oh, I was just going to say that I miss our Monster of the Week characters so much.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
We had a Monster of the Week game.
I was playing someone who was in love with an Eldritch deity called The End.
Man, I love Charles so much.
He was awful.
That is my favorite shit about these stupid games, is you'll say a wild ass sentence
like an elf in love with an Eldritch god, and then you'll be like, Charles was a great character.
I love Charles.
I love Andy.
Before we begin, earnest, just for the new folks, this episode will be going up on our main feed.
So if you do participate in the audience participation, and we encourage you to,
your voice might be picked up by one of these mics and somehow end up in there.
If you're comfortable with that, please raise your thumb.
Excellent. Thank you so much.
If you are not fan for old physical things.
Yeah.
There's like most of these, yeah, bye, Mo.
Most of the things are like group yeas or nays.
I'll explain the whole sitch.
But some of them are like, hey, someone put up your hand, you're going to come up,
and then you're going to roll a dice, and it's going to determine some form of fate.
So if you don't want your voice then just don't be doing those bits.
Everyone, it's happening.
Are you ready?
Yay!
And it's done.
Done. Bye, everyone. Bye. We're done.
That's time. Dang.
Okay. Also, oh my God.
We actually have a Starfinder core book that everyone in this room is eligible to win.
How are we going to be doing that?
We might be putting names into a wheel and spinning the wheel.
As a fun game show.
So we want to pass around a piece of paper?
We're going to put names on their names.
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
Let's do that. That's good.
Yeah, I tell you what.
Can we?
There we go. Thank you very much.
So if you want to be in the raffle to win Starfinder core book, write down your name,
and we're going to put everyone's names onto a fun little website which has a wheel that spins.
I love the wheel.
We wait for movie nights if you can't decide on what to watch.
Only you need to give us your first name and your last initial.
This is not like an in-home giveaway.
No username. You know who you are.
It's us. It's something big gamers in this room that's grand.
We always complete a map.
No, we do not.
Yeah, you need to do that. This is Tim Horton's new roll-up to win.
This is what this is.
Okay, are we?
Can I get some water?
Oh yeah, let's get some water.
Alright, well let's do some intros for people who may not be privy to us.
Oh, are we doing a year and a damn year?
No, I was going to do one of those.
Yeah, okay.
You know what?
Hello, beautiful, wonderful people.
Hi, how's it going?
Thank you so much for coming to our first ever live show.
I'm losing my mind. This is so, so exciting.
I appreciate you all so much. Thank you.
You're too kind. Thank you.
My name is Robin, the artist formerly known as Matt.
Captain Crale, on all things, I am the GM of this delicious little show.
We're going to go ba-ba and then ba-ba.
Oh, that means me next. Great.
My name is Nourdin Likadir. My pronouns are he, him.
I'm online at Werewolf Fields.
Practically everywhere werewolves are found, just not Facebook.
Don't go there. That's for you, not for me.
Any werewolves on Facebook are not canon.
Yeah, accurate.
Also, I'm a DTRBG writer, cultural consultant, and designer.
You might have seen me work on Werewolf 5th Edition or Into the Motherlands
or various other projects along with several podcast projects in the works.
That was not necessary.
Hello. I'm Momo.
You can find me everywhere at Momo underscore O'Brien,
and I make content about immersive experiences.
Beautiful. Beautiful.
Hey, everybody. I'm Andre. My pronouns are he, they.
You can find me at Andre Vera Art on social media,
as well as my website, AndreVera.Art,
where you can see my illustration portfolio, the actual play series I'm in,
game set design, and a couple podcasts, too.
And I'm Monda Adamless.
Yay.
What's up? I'm Dylan. My pronouns are she, he, and they.
I'm SuperDylan Everywhere Online, and I am the host of the One Shot podcast,
where we play a different RPG every single month with a new cast of players.
And I'm here on the Adamless, which is my favorite thing on Earth.
All right.
The book.
Pass it to me, and I'll put it in the thing.
Do we want to introduce our carrot?
We will be introducing our carrot.
That's it. Okay. Heroes.
Do we want to fly through space?
Then we're done. We're done here.
Let's do the wheel at the end.
We have to keep people here. They're only here for the book.
The winds of the crumbling sands of Nos
hushes you to sleep.
You are caravanned outside New Moors,
having one last rest before you entered,
enter the stained city.
The rest of what's inside seems far away,
and the brutal cold of the desert is held back
by the patchwork truck that you're all nestled inside.
All seems normal. For a moment, all seems safe.
But if you listen really carefully,
you can hear the flicker of screams
and the burrowing of thousands of eyes upon you.
Because all across the Yggdrasil Galaxy,
outside of the adventures, outside of the companies,
the void is a show.
A show hidden within the dark reaches of the internet.
It's hard, nearly impossible, to get a ticket
unless you know where to look. And people do.
Businessmen, upper decks, elite,
parties of people trying to impress each other,
have the stream projected onto the wall,
teenagers with the knowledge of hacking
put the show on at sleepovers to gross out their friends.
They all tune in, and their eyes all burrow
into the back of your heads.
The audience is here.
Their screens flash with a message.
New participants gathered.
Location, Vanir system.
Planet, Nos. Area, the crumbling sands outside of New Mores.
Name, the Patchwork crew.
The screen flashes again.
A finger, finger? Figure!
Appears on the screen. Very different.
A finger! One finger!
It's a figure who's going, shh!
A figure appears on the screen wearing a sequined suit
with a head that resembles a security camera
wearing a top hat.
They swing their cane.
Welcome, everyone, gallant gentlemen
to the most depraved damsels out there.
I am your game master.
And this is the galaxy's greatest, most glorious game show.
Our participants were close to starving to death
on their way through the crumbling sands.
What's that their ship lay in tatters?
Spoiler for anyone who's not caught up with the elements.
And they've walked the sands without hope,
slowly making it toward the city of New Mores
for help failing seconds before they could arrive.
I have accessed all of your microphones
to give you the ability to build this experience
that our participants will be having.
Now, on to our contestants.
Her biometric data is corrupted,
but we've overheard the other crew members call her by a name.
This is the scrappy street teen, Skyscraper.
On all of your screens, there is this buzz,
and in like a stasis pod that comes out of this wall
in this hard metal room is...
Do you want to describe Skyscraper?
What's up?
I'm Skye, I look cool as fuck.
I'm a teenager, got blue hair,
a bag of jeans and a skateboard,
and I got little goggles with butterfly wings on them.
Beautiful.
Now, our next contestant is a little bit of a criminal.
Locked away for 30 years, he was a senator to planet Erem
before turning into a rebel commander.
Welcome, Azam Amir.
Another pod.
Azam is a seven-foot tall fireman
complete with horns atop his head.
Most of his skin is just a normal brown,
but there's good amounts of what looks like lava chunks
or some kind of crust forming on the...
forming onto his arms and onto the horns themselves.
He's got a long black beard and steely red eyes,
and all he says is, I was an ambassador.
Speaking of criminal,
our next contestant used to be a company woman
before she betrayed them, and now her name is in blood
all the way from saga...
Ike.
You see, our little rat lady,
she's got white fur, except for one little patch of black
around one eye, and she's dressed in pink armor
that's a little bit ripped,
and then she's got a little maroon cloak around her neck,
and she's nervously holding her tail
and turning it over in her hands,
and she says, I was...
I didn't betray them on purpose.
Who are you?
Now, our last contestant is quite a famous one,
grown far outside the digital galaxy,
a Raxolite that you may have heard of.
A few months ago, they appeared on the news
as the hero of the company they built,
the founder of Wild Times, Dr. Theriac.
You see a two-foot-something little garlic person
with a full DBZ Scouter lens.
Oh, wait, no, I would have had the Bionic Eye at this point.
Yeah, you'd have the Bionic Eye at this point.
With a Bionic Eye, full plumage,
big bright purple stalks,
a very small root body with arms and legs
and a lab jacket and a little guy of better underneath,
and you see Theriac looks around saying,
Hello? Where are we?
I think we've been kidnapped.
Are we on TV?
Indeed, young teens!
What's up? How's everybody doing tonight?
We're not here!
You hear projected through the speakers
this cheer of this audience of these people watching you.
You see cameras dotted around this room,
and then you hear this voice of the Game Master.
Indeed, indeed, young teen,
we are in fact on televisions and phones,
and we are projected, we are on screens of laptops
where you're in internet cafes.
We are everywhere, darling.
Some planets are permanently stuck in the 90s,
and they are in fact internet cafes.
Now, before we get started on this wonderful journey,
before you can win a total of 100,000 credits,
that is 25,000 credits each,
I do have a question for our audience.
Now, these beautiful warm contestants are going to go through
three quite specific challenges that we have laid out for them.
However, they are quite well equipped.
I'm going to get just, I'm, I, we're going to take a quick poll
on whether or not they should keep any of their items
or go in completely empty-handed.
Now, to keep their items, can I please get a cheer?
Oh.
Oh!
Ah ha ha ha!
For the crew to lose everything they have on them,
can I please get a cheer from everyone?
Okay, everyone, take off every single item that you have.
You're sick.
Ah ha ha ha!
The perfect audience.
Now, before we put them through...
Wait, hold on.
Of course.
We can still keep our clothes, right?
Oh, you can keep your clothes. I'm not doing that.
We're not that type of show.
It's still pre-Water Shed for most of the people watching.
Everyone huddle up.
Where the fuck is Scrap?
Oh my god, yeah, where is Scrap?
I don't know.
Is Skye still here?
My raccoon, my pet raccoon?
Look at my backpack.
Um, well, as you see all of your items,
like hard light, like your spostaff leaves,
needle epistle...
They just vanish?
They just start just disappearing from your person
as you hear this sarcophonist cheer from the audience
wanting you to go through this completely unarmed.
You, Skye, see your backpack.
But inside your backpack, because they're not an item,
is a tiny raccoon who stands on two feet
and is like, I'm just a little guy,
and running around and doesn't know what is happening.
They run and leap into your arms.
So I have Verpal.
You do have Verpal.
Fuck!
I didn't think of that.
I should have kept the slugs.
Yeah!
You all see a really, really ugly armadillo rat thing.
That's what Verpal sounds like.
Now, of course, what is a show without theming?
Skateboard.
Skateboard is gone.
No!
Skateboard disappears.
Skateboard is gone.
Are you for real?
Skateboard, unfortunately, is an item,
and as unfortunately...
I'm going to be sick.
Well, maybe we could get Skateboard.
Maybe you can make that argument
that Skateboard has a soul,
and then possibly we could get them back later.
However, for now...
My entire goal of this Colosseum fight
is to posit my thesis.
This is a video essay actually
about do machines have souls.
However, what is a game show without theming?
Now, you'll see a prompt on all of your devices.
Everyone in the audience, you see a little notification
come up on your screen.
It has just, type in a suggestion for a dangerous place.
Now, we don't have those types.
So, if anyone has the idea of a dangerous place that they want...
Florida!
Damn, that's really good.
There's too much Smash Bros. data.
Oh my god.
Final destination?
Final destination!
Well, they are technically 1v1ing no items final destination,
which will be very good.
So, we have Florida, final destination, do we have any others?
The Sun.
The Sun?
Damn, alright, I'm into the Sun.
Original Jurassic Park.
Oh, beautiful.
We did the Wild Times arc, thank you very much.
Do we have someone in the back?
Trash Compact is really good.
I'm sorry.
Okay, alright, alright, alright.
I'll tell you what, there was four there, right?
Because there was Florida, the Sun, oh no,
because then there was Trash Compactor, and then there was...
Jurassic Park.
Jurassic Park, and then final destination, shit.
Let's chuck one more.
Let's have a D6 of this.
Anyone have one more?
Funky Floats, also from Super Smash Bros.
Beautiful.
We have two Super Smash Bros. stage, we are canonizing it.
Alright, I'm going to go in order that they were yelled at.
I'm going to roll a D6.
That's a five.
That'd be the Trash Compactor.
That's the Trash Compactor.
Hard Light appears around you, just like when your weapons were taken
and they all started disappearing.
Now, Trash just starts filling up the room.
It gets to about...
Oh, Theriac is struggling actually, because it gets to like two and a half foot up.
Theriac's going to die.
And then as everything is built, the room shudders.
And the whole room starts slowly squeezing.
It's now up to you guys.
What are we doing?
I would immediately like to cast Junk Armor, and I just start covering myself in garbage.
We have powers eyed up with the armor.
Damn it.
I just start covering myself in the trash.
It looks really, really gross and awkward, and I go full rat.
I'm really covered in it, but I am stacked.
Stacked.
Beautiful.
All right, any other suggestions?
Things are starting closing in.
Azam just turns down.
Theriac, aren't you a little short to be stuck in here?
Here, let me help.
And I lift Theriac just up.
Like a garlic pole.
I'm pulling you by the stalk out of the trash.
Thank you.
I have a thing remote hack, but it says that I can use my custom rig to do it, which is my skateboard.
Which is your skateboard, baby.
Unfortunately, you've lost it.
You'll have time to do things that take multiple minutes.
I know that the engineer has a lot of things that takes like 10 minutes.
We'll have to find out how the audience feels after this room.
I didn't realize how many of my things have to do with skateboarding.
Things are getting pretty dicey right now.
Everything is slowly closing in on you with so far no sign of stopping.
Can everybody roll me a Fortitude save, please?
Absolutely, I can.
We still have our armor.
You have your armor, yeah.
I'm not taking the armor away from you.
That would be mean.
That's an 18.
Perfect.
Jesus.
That is a 14.
This is my Tajamir dice from another show that I'm on, Tragedy of the Illusion, where I play a big ass fucking minute.
But it also works because that's about the size of a D20 would be in theory X hands.
So that's very good, actually.
I'm just checking to see if I'm going to...
You're all good, babe.
If you've got anything to...
I got a 25.
Incredible.
Exceedingly good, actually.
I didn't know you could roll that high.
Me neither.
Damn.
I should have made some DCs of this way harder.
Yeah, it's huge.
I mean, episode two, we were hitting 30s casually.
I rolled a 14.
Fascinating.
As the room is slowly squeezing everyone, the three of you, Skye, Theriac, you're able to navigate, get on top of the trash, kind of not be crushed by this room.
But it's not because you're picking Theriac up, you're not able to quite hold back the squeeze and you're getting a little crushed by two pieces of plywood that are almost shortening the room.
So you take two damage.
Two damage.
Just two.
It's nothing.
You still aren't out of the room, though, and that is going to start ramping up, gang.
Are there any small spaces that I could send Guy through?
Maybe he could chew a wire or something.
Oh, I love that.
Give me a perception check, please.
Can I make a life science check to have Guy on my side?
Just abandon Skye?
Yeah.
Yeah, let's do it.
Why?
Yeah, let's do it.
It's life or death?
It's life, science or death.
Bercle's next.
What?
This is fun because we've always wondered what would happen if Theriac was at odds against the gang.
And now it's like as soon as the chips are down, it's like Theriac's like, I don't care.
Fuck you.
Your little animal companions?
Mine.
What do we get?
That's a 30.
What am I rolling?
This is rolling to see if Guy's going to start paying more attention to Theriac than to Skye.
I got a 19 for perception.
Perception is brilliant.
Whilst you're frantically looking around, you're not quite able to spot anything.
You spot a vent, but just as the door starts squeezing and moving past it so you can't quite get there.
But as you and Guy are looking around, what do you do to entice Guy?
You just see Theriac be like...
And Guy just through alpha dominance is like, they're a big guy.
And gets up and starts swimming through trash toward Theriac and then hops on top of Theriac's head.
Nice teamwork.
Azam is not going to even acknowledge the fact that they are currently being pierced because they still have a gigantic piercing shot in their stomach anyway.
What the difference is two more going to make, right?
Instead, if this is hard light, could I do an engineering check to see if there's ways to disable hard light?
Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 21.
Damn. Yeah.
So you... I'm actually going to give you multiple things on this.
You do really quickly clock.
There is a way... All hard light is just pictures projected into air.
And there are ways to hard break it.
But for some reason, as you're trying and you do the usual things, the hard light isn't breaking in the way that it should.
You do know that it's hard light, but it possibly is something to do with your presence here.
The fact that your items aren't hard light, but they disappeared like they were.
This room is building itself and hard light can't hurt you really.
However, even though you kind of get that weird, like, you can't really do anything about the hard light,
you do find a small gap that's like an oxygen gap when things press so it doesn't break itself.
You find a way that if you heated it enough, you could probably break the mechanism of the trash compactor and then push it back.
Right. Okay, I've got an idea. It's going to get really warm.
Nobody's going to ask any questions.
We're having a really weird day.
That's not a good idea.
I'm going to get in close, shove my hands on it, and I don't need an item for this.
I just vent out the heat from my body to melt it.
Beautiful.
That's an overheat spell-like action.
Oh, yum, yum, yum, yum. Delicious.
Which for some reason, my sheet will not show me right now.
It's perfect. We know what it is.
It's 2d8, one standard action, 15-foot cone.
Sure. Is it like a thing you can use per day?
Yes, once per day.
Okay. That's the punishment of this, is that you use this ability.
Instead of rolling, you can roll just for the sake of rolling. It's nice to roll sometimes.
It's fine. That's an eight points of damage.
Beautiful.
You heat up this part of the trash compactor through this hole, and you feel as you're pushing, the whole side of this metal compactor gets white-hot and starts slowly melting.
You feel it shove and push back.
And even that is weird, because hard light wouldn't react like real metal if you were to heat it up.
So Azam doesn't see light at all. He sees heat.
You can see it.
That's fucked.
It's weird that you can see it, yeah.
Yeah. No, this is already bad.
Alright, smallest to largest. Come on.
You're first.
And then, is Guy bigger than me?
Could you ride them like a steed?
Alright, Guy isn't like a five foot raccoon. It's a normal sized raccoon, which is like a foot. It comes up to about here.
Do you want to ride them?
Yeah.
Alright, you can ride Guy.
Are the walls still closing, or have they stopped closing?
One of the walls is closing in, but it's closing into the halfway mark.
Because they would both meet each other in the middle, and one of them is just pushing everything, because Azam is able to push this one side back.
Right, you next.
I can do it.
There's a high chance I might get stuck, so you might want to go first.
Okay.
Perfect.
I try to tuck my hair down, and then I duck in.
Nice, beautiful.
As you crawl through this one hole, even though it feels like it's the same room, this hard metal room, as soon as you complete the challenge, the challenge, the obstacle falls away.
And you are just left again in this hard, cold metal cube. It looks like no real way in or out.
And as you do so, there is this do-do-do!
Yay!
Oh, congratulations on completing your first challenge, everyone!
You hear the joys from the audience come through.
Now, I just need to go set up the second part of this challenge, so I'll leave you all alone, the audience is watching, and the voice disappears, giving you a short five minutes to discuss.
I don't think this is a good place. I don't think this is a good thing. I don't think we've ever been in a good place, but it's fine.
To be fair, we did crash land on this planet, and then I almost died, and Firiak almost died, and Sky, have you died yet?
No, but we started out on Saga, it's all uphill from here, if I'm not mistaken.
Sky did die in Wild Times. That was a...
Did I die?
You died. You got poisoned to death.
Oh yeah, that was a lovely curve.
Spoilers for the game, everyone.
You're going to have to be careful, because apparently you're next.
I am? What does that mean?
I mean, if all of us have died once, you're probably, you know...
Statistically.
You can't say that! People actually do want me dead right now!
I don't really like that.
You'll get over it.
If it helps, I do have a theory.
About what?
I don't think we've been kidnapped.
Oh.
I see this light. I shouldn't be able to. Hard light has no effect on my eyes.
Right.
And it's reacting differently.
Light can't be hard. It's light.
It's a very...Fyria, could you just...
We don't have time. We don't have time.
Our items disappeared into hard light, right?
Sure.
How is that physically possible they're not made of light?
This.
And I look around, at the vague idea of cameras around.
Is virtual reality!
Well, okay. I have just a follow-up question to that.
Do you feel like that's really confident about the fact that that won't actually kill us?
If we were to say, get crushed in a trash compactor.
I feel like if we died, there'd be more questions than answers.
People would get involved.
Do you die in the game? Do you die for real?
That'd be pretty dramatic if one of us died right here, right now.
Why are those people cheering?
That would definitely...
That...you hear it happen, because you are all watching this conversation.
I just think that's pretty mean.
Even if it's virtual reality or not, I wouldn't cheer if you lost all of your nice things.
I'm far from a voyeur of any kind, but I do have to admit, this is worse than usual.
Can I, like, get down on my knees and place my hands in prayer and say, audience...
I would...I get taken away all our items. That's pretty funny.
But maybe if there was a bone at some point, that'd be pretty cool, too.
Well, since we're talking to them...
This host character is built in front of you.
Humanoid, but with this security camera for a head that has a little top hat and a little cane on it.
Now, congratulations on making it past that first room.
However, I'm sure that you are aware that you are missing one extra person of your crew, your captain.
We actually have your captain right here.
Let's see how much you want to help them.
Scrap appears, like, is lifted from the ground,
and there is several turrets that are also built pointed at Scrap.
Scrap is in this pod that you all were.
Now, of course we can't have this without audience participation.
This looks like a scary situation for the patchwork, doesn't it?
And we should give them a solution to this problem.
Now, I love a trade, but should the crew trade something simple like an item,
which I will remind you they don't have, or something difficult, like a memory, or something they like?
What do we think that they should trade for their beloved captain?
If we would...
There is...
Things appear...
Another choice poll appears on the screen.
We have a hand.
The raccoon!
Oh, no!
Someone across the galaxy says the raccoon,
and the item changes to give something simple like an item, give away guy.
I change my mind. I will find all of you and I will kill you, and you won't know when it's going to happen.
A skateboard.
Oh, shit.
I feel like you are all coming for me personally right now.
A limb each.
I'd give a limb. I'd give a limb instantly.
Okay, bet.
We don't need to speak for the next room.
Oh, delicious.
Steal the limb!
So, we have a few.
A few options on this poll appear.
We're going to have a chorus of cheers, and whichever one has the most is the one that we're going to be doing.
Give away guy.
Give away a memory, which will be a fun little roleplay experience.
Give away skateboard. Give away a limb.
Is there one more?
A voice.
A voice, the ability to speak in the next room. Yes, absolutely, the ability to speak.
So, we're going to go with...
Can I get a cheer if we want to give away guy?
Force them to give away guy.
Oh, we've got to come, okay.
Thank goodness.
Can I get a cheer to give away skateboard?
Oh, I like this one more.
Can we have a cheer to have a member of the Patchwork give away a memory of theirs?
Fascinating.
Can we have a cheer to give away the ability to speak in possibly the next room?
Wow, huge. Huge one.
I think we have one more. I'm so stupid.
I know, right? That's like the most sore-esque one.
I'm obsessed with it.
I'll tell you what, I'll make it easier.
We'll have somebody give away a limb.
We have a cheer for somebody to give away a limb.
Holy shit. Guys, this is a canon game.
I need to warn you all.
We have recorded episodes in New Mores.
This is going to cause a whole thing.
Can I volunteer?
Also, can I volunteer?
Can I volunteer?
We can all volunteer.
All right, all right, all right.
I have a plan.
Right, right.
Limb and memory.
Limb and memory felt like the same to me.
Do we feel like that's fair?
This is to the audience.
We feel like limb and memory were the same?
So both, yeah.
So, well...
Both, both, both, both, both.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Well, if the audience demands, I shall give it.
To free your oh-so-beloved captain,
you must give away both a limb and a memory.
Are we going to get the limb back?
That kicks in again.
Oh, there we go.
My limb.
Actually, that's a very good idea.
Take a very excellent...
Now, this is purely...
A pedestal that is built in front of Scrap
for you all to discuss and make the decision for you.
Like, make the decision.
You can either have one person give away both a limb and a memory,
or you can have one each.
I'll give away a memory if you need it.
I've got more memories than the lot that you combined.
I can afford to give one away.
I took away a whole bunch of mine, like, on purpose, so...
I can spare a memory.
Which memory would you give, Ike?
It's just a silly little nothing memory.
Ike?
It's nothing.
Ike?
I just, you know...
I just don't want to remember some things anymore.
You might come to regret it in time.
That's the kind of thing you cannot undo that.
That's kind of the point, I guess.
But ask yourself, Ike, is it worth losing not only the memory,
but how you've grown from it?
Robin?
Hello, babe.
Does the Game Master look at all intrigued or distracted
by this conversation that we're having?
The Game Master's gone.
Gone?
Like, they were a hologram and they...
And do we still see Scrap in the centre of all those turrets?
Scrap is in the centre, yep.
Can I cast a spell?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can.
Yep.
I want to transfer charge from the turrets to the hologram,
like, the thing that's projecting the Game Master in here.
Okay.
I want to fry it.
Okay.
Sure, sure, sure.
I want to take all of its charges from the turret
and try to overload and pass the spell.
Overload the thing.
Delicious.
All right.
It has to make a fortitude save.
Oh, damn, all right.
I don't even get a choice in the matter, sure.
Bam.
This is what happens when you guys read the rules.
So, take those.
Oh.
All right, well, I rolled a two.
I can't imagine that, Sixi.
They are not lying.
That is a two.
That's a fat two.
That's an after one two.
I'm going to describe how this happens.
I'll let you get away with your crimes.
Yeah.
As I'm, like, having this kind of argument with Azam
over who's going to give away a memory,
and Verpal is, like, sniffing out on my shoulder
and finds, for me, like, the source of electricity,
like, that little buzz coming off of the gun.
And I'm going to, like, just sort of reach up into the air
and, like, pluck that piece of electricity out of the sky,
that little thread that I can see,
and just sort of flick it
and fling it at the source of the projection.
You, when you kind of, kind of, like, activate this,
you know, magical sense that you have,
you find that this place is a tapestry.
It is, there are threads coming off of every single
free space in this room, but you are,
you manage to, like, pull your way through it,
you grab the threads from the turrets,
and you throw it toward the hologram,
and there is this, like, explosion,
as the whole room seems to die.
Hard, like, go down from this, like, metal box that you're in,
and from this, like, hard metal room,
it is no longer a hard metal room.
It is a, like, facility, and there is a door at the end,
and there are, like, these, like, large monitors
that you can see, just, like, tracking your vitals,
and Scrap is there.
There is a cage, these turrets die down,
and after all of the electrics in the room go,
these turrets, and he's like,
oh my fucking God, and then crawls out and falls down,
and is like, where are we, where are we, where are we,
are we being experimented on?
I'm not letting this happen again.
No, no, no, no, maybe.
What?
Let's get you out of here.
Okay, sure.
Can I make a medicine check to make sure, like, Scrap's good?
Yeah, absolutely, please do.
Ooh, nice.
That's pretty good.
That is a 33.
Oh, he's as good as a Boston rat can be.
He's pretty grand, yeah.
Yeah, he's good.
He's got his new, he's like quick,
oh shit, he wouldn't have his quick fire thing,
because that is an item, so it's gone, it's not there.
He has just, like, a basic metal arm,
which doesn't count as an item, it just counts as his person.
But yeah, he looks good, he looks grand.
Yeah, gives you a little thumbs up.
Okay, what?
We're on a game show.
Oh, sick, I love that shit.
Yeah!
Can we hear them?
Yeah, you can still hear them.
Do you think we could get the 100,000 credits on the way out?
The 100,000 credits, and we're on a game show?
We'd still have to go for one more level, and also,
why would we trust these people to give us anything?
I agree.
What's wrong with all of you?
I mean...
Stop, stop moving, I...
Silence!
It's just, you know, I don't think you should get a game show anymore.
It's mean, and weird.
No more game show until you learn how to use it properly.
All we're going to do is stand here and sit,
and running around, which is the opposite of standing.
I... sitting, sitting is the opposite of standing.
Hey, you're like, welcome to my niche internet comedy bits.
TJ Maxx, my favourite artist in the world.
Oh, hey, I hate that plan.
I don't want to just stand here.
We can, if that is a group decision.
No, no, no, I want to get out of here.
I'm just feeling defiant.
I love that, though!
That's good.
Okay.
Scrabble, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to you.
Sorry, sorry, yeah.
People ask me dice rolls sometimes, and I'm like, yeah.
Why would I ask you about a dice roll?
I don't know, people do it.
I still think it's in our brains.
Okay, I'd like to find a way out of here.
Can I roll perception to find a...
Absolutely.
A better way than that door that can't be...
It's going to lead to the next challenge.
I don't want to deal with that.
I trust all of you.
For what it's worth, these are my gang.
This is my team.
I rolled...
I rolled a 31.
Hate you.
I hate you, and I hate this game, actually.
Yes, there is the door.
That is the obvious way to...
Wherever it is.
The hard light room has disappeared
that had no doors or exits or anything like that.
But now there's just a normal door.
Seems like this weird facility.
And there are ventilation chambers.
Which you could give it a bloody good old college try.
A decent amount of you could fit.
You two good.
You made a squeeze.
You could, you bend it, maybe.
And you might get stuck, and that would suck,
but you can try.
I'm just going to walk over to one
and shove my foot through it.
Bam, it breaks.
Loud clang. You hear it off in the distance.
Like, go down the vents.
Anyone want to scout ahead?
We're going to escape through the ventilation shafts?
What's my idea?
This is the best day of my life.
No, no, no. You're going to escape through vent...
I cannot fit in there.
No, but you escape.
And come back for me.
Yeah, I'm loving this.
There's a game show, and it seems fine
from my perspective.
There's a hundred thousand credits on the line.
There were people booing you.
Not me.
Surrounded by turrets.
According to you.
I wasn't awake for that.
I believe you.
I'm just playing into the bit.
The theory acts to feeling defiant.
I'm loving this place.
You guys are sadistic as hell, but you're keeping things fresh,
and I love that.
Skye! For the last time, people who want to kill us
for entertainment are not our friends.
We don't...
I love you, Skye!
Vent? Vent- ventilation shaft?
Is it little guy sized?
It's also Yosuke sized as well.
I mean, we could fit in. You could fit in.
I could scout ahead.
We could get a few people to scout ahead.
scouting ahead.
This is a very stressful situation.
Okay, team little guys, team big guys.
Team little guys.
Get out of here.
All right.
We'll get the 100,000 credit.
What, no!
Yeah.
I was really worried about you.
I know, I mean, I'm just joking.
I'm really glad that everyone's back here and alive.
I truly can't remember anything,
so I'm freaking out like a little bit,
but I'm suppressing a panic attack, but just Biden.
Okay.
What are some things can you not remember?
Like I woke up here.
We went to sleep and then yeah, we woke up here.
I don't even know what the-
I think our kidnapper's gonna show back up.
Okay, Scrap, do you?
Well, the room has, the hard light holograph
was destroyed and it blew up.
So it does kind of feel like, you know in Portal,
when you see the test rooms of it
that aren't the test facility, it feels like that.
It feels like you have kind of broken the game in some way.
So one second is just Scrap.
Yeah.
And I just wrap Scrap in my arms.
Oh.
We're just gonna wait.
I'm just gonna panic attack out, just breathe.
Thank you so much.
God, we don't get a break.
We really don't.
I feel like we've just been on for, like since-
How many-
Since we killed that one guy in Helium
at a comedy club of all places and then we've just-
How many battles have we fought?
How many people have we killed?
How many people have almost killed?
I don't have a ship anymore, that sucks.
Yeah, it does.
You know what?
I think when we get out of here,
it's just gonna be a break though.
Oh yeah.
New Moors is gonna be great.
Yeah, it sounds really good.
We've only had one episode of New Moors released.
Let me tell you guys, it sucks.
It's a bad place.
To the point where we were talking post show
where everyone was like,
I'm excited for the gang to get a fucking break
because this place is awful.
We need a beach arc.
All right, so you'll just-
We'll get it.
I think it's Florida.
Yeah, Florida, yeah.
I hear it's really nice.
Go, we'll be here waiting for you when you come back.
In the meantime, I have a lecture to give these people.
Hey you.
Boo!
We're having elections.
You think you're powerless?
Look at you, look at what you can do
and you wasted on this.
Come on now.
You could be fighting.
You could be fighting on the side of freedom,
of what it means to matter, of people.
And instead you choose to voyeur
in your tiny little homes, in your bedrooms,
crying to yourselves because you don't do anything in life.
Free the Cars 19 back.
I-
You're that I'm the fan favorite.
I would like to roll an intimidation check on the audience.
Yes!
All right, each of you are individual characters
in the Adamless universe.
You each pick your own DC to see if this works against you.
Anybody need dice?
So that is a nice handy 25.
So you can now pick.
Now, obviously you're all your own characters.
This has nothing to do with me.
I'm not gonna tell you if this works or it doesn't
because you are players in this game.
If you think that 25 is enough to intimidate you,
then you're welcome to do whatever you think works with that.
If you don't, you're welcome to do whatever you think works.
Beautiful.
This is getting really high concept.
I really like it.
Yeah, dang.
Join a protest.
Talk to one another instead of hiding behind screens.
Meet people in life.
Understand yourself.
You don't get invited to a lot of parties, do you?
I was imprisoned for 30 years.
Yeah, but like before that.
I was busy trying to save my home planet
from getting colonized.
How old are you?
I'm 62.
Damn.
Are you done with the party?
That's what I'm saying.
Who was that?
I've been fighting for what matters since I turned 25.
No, no, actually 23.
You weren't invited to a party before you were 23?
Actually, no, I wasn't invited.
It was an engagement party.
Oh, that's nice.
Well, I've been to a lot of engagements,
I have a lot of family.
Well, I did have a lot of family.
I think they're all dead now.
Damn.
Party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party.
I will go to a party.
The room flickers.
Party balloons start popping up.
There is there a presence.
There is there is a table, there are streamers,
there is cake.
On the table are three things.
What?
There is a laser rifle, there is a bow,
and there are four grenades.
Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me.
Who wants the bow, who wants the laser rifle?
Did we leave?
Are we like in some vent?
Yeah, you're in vent.
I got both.
I got both, thank you.
Cut two.
Go, Ferriak, Ferriak, take some grenades.
Don't throw them at me.
We have two.
Cut two, in the vents.
Damn, I'm really glad we got out of there
because this was not a good place.
This place sucks.
I don't like what it's doing to our whole vibe.
I've never been booed before.
It's not a good feeling.
No, it's not.
Do you get booed?
Um, yes.
Who the fuck said that?
Do people boo you at wild times,
speaking events and other things?
I've had protesters at wild times.
That's people who are like free animals.
Do you think Hilo Lapour booed you
before you pushed him out a window?
I don't know if we're ready to make jokes about that.
No.
I feel like it was really...
Hey, listen, hey, listen, I appreciate that.
But, I mean, it's not a good feeling
to be publicly derided.
I don't like it.
I mean, I don't really care for it
when it's privately deriding.
You know, just having a whole power for many people.
What if it was private?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would be nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you, Doctor.
You're welcome.
Oh, thank you.
What are we looking for?
All right, well.
I can make a check.
Yeah, let's make some checks.
Give me...
Let's go with a clean perception.
I feel like that's like a healthy number.
I'm gonna roll for scrap as well.
Are we all rolling?
No, because you're not there.
You're having a party.
Actually, Azama's unwrapping paper.
Damn, I suck at this game.
And he's like writing down step one, education, step two.
Grassroots organizations.
How can I give you all shots?
Azama has the cure for despair is community.
Oh no.
15.
Nine.
I got a nine.
I also didn't get very good either.
So I think that's...
Oh, bollocks.
I mean, I rolled a nine.
I can't imagine it's much better.
You find...
You kind of aimlessly crawl through vents.
You're just kind of going where you're just like,
let's just fucking get somewhere and then it'll be fine.
You get to above a bathroom,
like a clean, it's like an office building bathroom.
There's no one in there at the minute.
You're all small enough to be able to be scrunched
next to each other and all of your heads,
like two rat and a garlic head pop up
in looking down through the vents.
There's three of us in one vent.
Oh my God, what are we gonna do?
Hey, I mean, if this is a facility,
then this place looks like a good place
to bust down the thing.
Right, maybe we can find a real exit or a way back.
We have to go get them after.
Oh yeah.
I mean, the only way in is the door.
Could we like, I mean, we didn't check it.
So maybe it's locked or we could like go around
and open the door from the other side and get in.
In case there's like a booby trap.
Well, I also,
because you have like computer mental abilities, correct?
Yes.
Okay, so could you like expand the vents
so that thing could fit?
I don't think so.
I mean, you have computer abilities.
You don't have metal bending.
I don't have metal bending.
Unless you do.
That's a little bit of a stretch.
I, yeah, no, no, no, no.
I can't do that.
Yeah, I mean, we could, I mean.
Is there a bathroom?
There's a bathroom below us.
Yes.
Do you need to go?
No, is there a garbage in there?
Yeah, I'm sure there is, yeah.
I'm gonna jump down out of the vent
and I'm gonna stick my hand in the garbage
and rummage around and I'm gonna pull out a sword of garbage.
Nice, you're using the ability garbage sword.
Junk sword, yeah.
Thank you.
Okay, look this way in case we run into anybody
who wants to put us in another show.
All right, sure.
Okay, well, let's leave the bathroom
and let's try and get around to the back, to the room.
Yes. Yeah.
I have a question for the GM.
So you took away all our items, right?
What if my ability is to make items?
If you have time, you can do that.
Like if it takes like 10 minutes, not a week.
Yes. Yeah.
I start making some bio hacks.
Sick, that's possible, yeah, we can do that.
Then you guys are trying to round to the door.
Roll me some stealths, please.
Stealth, please, please, please.
Now 20.
Love that. For total 20.
Love that, love that, love that.
For stealth, that's a dirty 20.
Oh, God, that's absolutely delicious.
I got a 19, I'm letting the side down.
You all very quietly like open up the door
and it's just like these long hallways
and you scatter down.
What's happening at the party?
I gave you guys a lot of shit before
for trying to kill us and everything,
but you're all right.
I'm not angry at you, I'm just disappointed.
By the way, how many of you, raise your hands,
how many of you to the 25 Intimidate Check
actually work on?
Nice.
Power.
Beautiful.
You guys are in a party, you're walking through
the usefulness of community.
And then you three get to the door on the other side.
It was locked, there is a key code needed, but you...
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, hang on, yeah.
It's easy to even work.
You can pretty easily just erase the code to it.
Sick.
And then, yeah.
And it opens.
And the party aesthetic stays hard as scrap bike theory.
I can kind of open the door and walk in.
Hi guys.
I'm in hell.
Well, we have the door open, we found a...
Hey guys, you having a fucking party?
How the fuck did that happen?
I don't know, I think before it was my birthday or something.
Is this cake real?
No, it's not real, nothing here is real.
I'm gonna eat it.
Is it real?
Yeah, it's good.
It's real cake.
Nice.
Wow.
Shit.
What flavor is it?
I don't know, I'm eating it out of the bite.
What flavor is it?
Sugar.
Wait, what?
Chocolate and sugar.
What does it mean for me is the thing?
No, because it was...
Oh, was it made for a zop?
Yes.
What's the flavor?
Okay, so yes then.
Yeah, so it tastes like charcoal and berries.
Tastes like charcoal and berries?
Nice, I like that.
That's interesting.
I take another bite.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
So does anyone want a bow?
It's a simple weapon, I believe you guys can do it.
Also, I can't be bothered to go through so many rules,
so I will say yes, you can.
Yes, please.
There you go.
And then, Firiak is going to start crafting
the lion needles onto some arrows.
Sick.
Yeah, making them arrows.
Why do we think that they're giving us weapons
and a party?
Well, the party's because apparently
I've not been to enough parties in my life.
Oh.
It's not good.
I'm a little worried that this might be
some sort of death match?
You know who would know.
Good idea.
They should not say things.
All right, you clowns, listen up.
Hashtag death match.
If you think it's, if what is next before any additions
is a death match, say yay.
That sounds good, that feels good.
That feels good.
If you think it's not a death match, say yay.
Yay.
Oh, that was a soft, weak yay.
That feels less good, actually.
I would rather they had like a hard yes or no.
That's a well-coordinated line.
I think they want it to be a death match,
but they don't want to tell us.
I feel like maybe they're hot.
But you know, give me one second.
One more thing.
If after this, when you shut off your computer,
you're gonna find a cause you believe in
and fight for it, say yay.
Yay.
That's nice, nice.
That feels good.
My fight's over, man.
Yeah, we won.
You did it.
And that's the end of the Adam list.
Everybody, everybody, my grenades are apparently
anti-gravity grenades.
Oh, that's funny.
Which could be used in a variety of hijinks.
Hijinks, love hijinks.
Hey, let's get out.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah, let's get out.
You all take off and you start running down the halls.
And you follow these like large exit signs
and you open, you actually, you know what?
You follow these large exit signs and you get to a door.
Would you open the door?
Yeah.
Yeah, open the door.
You open the door.
Wait, before you open the door.
Okay.
Close it.
Can I check for traps?
Yeah, please do, yes.
I don't trust any of this.
We can do that.
Is Azam the Fred of our Scooby-Doo gang?
Oh my God.
Well, oh yes, because we actually had,
ah, of, yeah, where Azam is Fred.
I think Scrap was Scooby, right?
Yeah.
Not even, what a beautiful.
Perception, perception to check for traps?
Yeah, let's do it, yeah, let's do it.
That feels good.
All right, all right.
That's a.
Man, don't roll good for once in your damn life.
Well, even if I rolled a one, it still would have been a 13.
I know, it's devastating.
So anyways, that's a 29.
There are no traps locked on this door,
but there is something behind it.
Now, not a trap, but there is someone behind it.
Florida.
Anyone want to do Vionas?
Yummy.
You swing the door open.
Woo.
Oh, for the love of.
The first thing that catches your eye
are that you're outside, and that's great.
These like deep, like swamp land,
and these trees that are, it's very hot.
It's Florida, it's Florida.
You open the door and it's Florida.
I don't know enough about Florida to correctly.
There are trees, and well, that's why,
that's the moment my mind was like,
you gotta just say it's Florida.
There's gators.
There's gators, and there is also kind of like,
this, the floor goes out, and at the end of this pier
stands this humanoid with this security camera head,
and surrounding them are hundreds and hundreds of screens
of like almost hacked into the webcams of everyone watching
and showing their visage as you find them in this room.
It's like, think of the room in The Matrix,
but it's in Florida.
Like the architect's room in The Matrix,
but it's in Florida.
Well, you certainly did very good.
I wasn't quite expecting you to do the thing with the power
and get all that broken.
That was fascinating.
However, this is still a game,
and the game needs a finale.
So, I have brought the audience watching here to,
you see the waving.
I brought the audience here because I thought,
I mean, they've helped us up so much,
and they've helped you up so much.
I mean, they kind of wanted a death match,
so why don't we have a fight?
You four and myself.
If you win, then you've won the game show.
Against you.
Myself.
What do you mean by winning?
Kill me.
Sens motive check.
Go for it, yep.
Yeah.
Oh, good, I was worried that was a natural one,
but that's just the expertise.
That's a 17.
Beautiful.
Here's what I wanna know.
Is this actually the real dude,
or is this some sort of trick?
I got 25.
Sick.
Same question?
Is death the old, like, the way to win?
Yes, and this isn't him.
But, he is telling the truth.
If you beat him in the battle, he will leave.
But if he beats you, it seems like you will die.
Well, here's a point,
and if it's gonna be a death match,
I suggest you be here yourself to fight it.
Oh!
You got me.
All right, fine.
However, unfortunately, I am multiple galaxies away,
and I'm sat on a very nice chair at the minute.
I don't intend to get up, it's gonna take me ages.
However...
That's right.
How do you like it?
Okay.
Well, I do this for the audience.
So sure.
If this hard-light copy that I have in this galaxy fails,
I'll fucking put myself into someone.
I'll bring myself in,
because the other suggestion I was getting...
I don't know, I'll say, hello, this is what I run,
I do all this, because what, I'm gonna fucking kill myself?
That seems really dark at the end of this.
Okay!
I feel like we've got aligned against that,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly, so I'll just put myself
into any enforcement agency that you want.
I mean, we are actually pretty against enforcement agencies
at the Atomless, so that doesn't really work, but...
Okay, what do you want from me?
Could you...
You're rich!
Community service!
I will do community service for...
Community service!
I will do that, I will do...
I will join community service.
I will change my ways, and I will do community service
for a million hours, I am a robot, so I can do that.
And you're gonna give all of your money
to every one of this audience.
And I will give all...
All right, all right, okay!
But don't we want the 100,000 credits?
Yeah, well, that's not...
I tell you what, if you win, you'll get the 100,000.
You get 20,000 each, now there are five of you.
Yeah.
And then I will give...
More money, more money, more money!
More money, more money!
Okay!
How about this?
I will give you...
How about I do no community service,
but I give you the crew in canon,
I'll give you 500,000 credits if you win this fight.
No, I think you should have to make this show something better.
I think you should do something better with your life.
Okay, well, I'm not giving 500,000 credits,
and also doing community service.
That seems rubbish.
Clean up Florida.
Did you say clean up Florida?
The lower decks!
Oh, clean up the lower decks?
Oh my God, that's a multi-trillion...
That's a multi-trillion industry prize,
and I've heard that someone is currently planning
on doing something like that,
and I don't want to step on their toes.
Right, so here's what we're going to do.
You're going to give us 250,000...
This isn't a fucking business meeting.
I'm not here, but...
I think it is, actually!
Okay, fine, fine, it is a business meeting.
Fine, you have one pitch.
Audience, is this a business meeting?
Absolutely!
All right, you have a pitch.
Give me the pitch.
250k for the lot of us,
whatever else you got to each and every member of the audience,
and you shut this shit down.
Make it a cooking show.
Make it a cooking show!
Oh my gods.
This time song has to be used
for a wildtime-sponsored educational program.
On the dark web?
On the dark web.
Okay, fine.
You win.
I give you 250,000 credits.
I give a lot of money to all of these people,
and then my time is split by making this show
a cooking show, and then, when I'm thinking of ideas,
it will be a wildtimes educational documentary thing.
I guess my people will talk to your people.
Yeah!
Sounds like a great idea,
and I should have played with my laser rifle.
And if you...
All right, let's roll initiative, everyone.
Let's roll initiative.
Fight, fight, fight.
Y'all, I wish I could have this
for every Coliseum mark I'm in.
Right, now, here is where the audience participation
of this bit comes in.
At the top, at 20 on the initiative order,
essentially a layer action,
I'm gonna bring up someone from the audience.
And you're gonna roll a little D6.
I have a series of D6s here.
On a random table, you're going to pick the target
for whatever you end up rolling,
and then you're also gonna be able to roll damage.
So that is that.
What is our initiatives?
Do we have 20 or above?
Audience are going first.
We love that.
Do I get a surprise round for declaring
that I'm gonna shoot him?
Yeah, you do, yeah.
I'm not gonna take that away from you.
15 to 19.
I got an 18.
19.
Sick.
What'd you get?
Eight.
What'd you get?
I got a five, because Skye's still chanting,
fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.
All right.
Beautiful, and then we got,
beep, boop, boop, boop, beep.
Azam, give me your roll.
Yeah, plus six to hit.
Okay.
That's a like 15 plus.
21 to hit.
That hits.
Great.
One to eight plus eight damage.
Ink all over my hands.
Nord and Leek are giving me a very fancy pen,
and I'm not a fancy boy.
Oh yeah, you're a man.
So I don't know, I don't know how to use it.
It's very fancy though.
Well, thank you.
It's very nice, it's really nice.
It's too nice for me, which is why I've spilt it.
A human pen, please.
Would you like a pencil?
I actually, I prefer pencils.
Can you take this off so I don't die?
Thank you.
Thank you for the pen, thank you.
Everyone has ink on them now.
Okay, what did we roll?
We hit?
Yes.
GG?
We hit, that's a range of 120 feet,
and we shot for 14 damage.
14, whatever the heck it is.
God, this guy's gonna go down like a sack of shit.
Okay, now it's time for the initiative order.
It is the audience's turn.
Can you just, would you like to come up?
Wait, is this laser-rifled fire damage?
One.
Woo!
You want a one, beautiful.
No, no, no, stay here, stay here, stay here.
Roll this, D6, once more.
So you, beautiful.
So, this is also yours, you get to keep that.
So, is it laser, the laser is not fire damage.
No, I don't believe so.
I do apologize.
That's all right.
Out of one of the trees in Florida, the Floridian trees,
part of the box opens, and then a barrel of a rifle comes out.
Who is this hitting?
Azam.
This poison, there's a dart that fires, hits Azam,
and Azam, on your next roll, you get a minus six
to whatever it is.
And now it is your turn, babe.
Hit again with the laser-rifle.
That's a 16 to hit.
That's 16, because you have plus six, and then it's minus six.
That doesn't hit.
You feel this poison kind of seep into your body,
and you just feel slightly woozy for a second
as you fire off your laser-rifle.
You're just doing a standard action, you're doing a full,
full pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
No, I'm just gonna do a standard action,
but I would like to, instead of a move action,
can I do something else?
Yes.
All right, anyone who thinks his gun should hit better,
cheer on right now.
Woo!
You're trying to fuck me at my own game.
Trying to be weird about it.
I tell you what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna roll,
I'm gonna go odds, I'm gonna go odds or evens.
So, if I am to roll, I'm gonna roll this,
I will say yes, you get advantage on that roll,
if this happens, but should I roll evens or odds,
I'm gonna get cheer for even, and cheer for odds.
Woo!
Pretty odd, that's fair.
If I roll an odd, then you get advantage.
I'm at 20, baby.
The only time, it doesn't matter at all.
It's completely pointless.
As you speak out to the audience,
the Game Master closes their hand,
and then all of the screens and monitors
turn to static really quick.
Like he shut off the ability to communicate
for just a second as he said that,
and then flicks them back on.
Um.
Uh.
Good one.
I get to you.
Anything else for your turn?
I'm gonna roll.
I get to you, anything else for your turn?
I'm good.
I get to you, babe.
Yes, I am going to,
does he have a weapon, it looks like, does?
Yes, it does.
What does he have?
He has a cane.
He has a cane, and you can kind of tell
that he has control over this area.
Like he would be able to summon a weapon in his hands,
if he could, and also the cane is probably
not just a cane, it's like a weird little thing.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm just gonna take a shot in the dark,
and I assume that it's got a little like.
You're doing incompetence, is that what you're doing?
Yeah, of course I am.
And I am gonna, um, just, you know,
he doesn't even like you.
He doesn't even, I heard him,
he said that he doesn't even like using little weapons
like you, he thinks they are small and stupid.
He said it, not me.
And.
You're talking to this cane.
And I.
Oh my God, I love it.
And I cast incompetence, so he doesn't know
how to use mail.
Is that it, I'm just done, he just doesn't know
how to use it.
Um, it's a save DC of 15.
We'll save.
Yeah, he gets it, he gets it, I'm sorry,
I'm so sorry, babe.
No, it's okay.
He gets a 19.
Um, the cane's like,
yeah, but he's like, uh,
I mean, you just got here and you don't really know
who this guy is and I actually think he's pretty cool.
I mean, he's real nice to me, he feeds me.
Feeds me.
What?
He feeds me bullets and blood and I spit it out
at unsuspecting people.
Fuck you.
Uh, anything else on your turn?
Ah, theory, I can see you, babe.
Good, good, good answer.
Yeah.
Um, we're in Florida.
You're in, yeah, you're in Florida.
I would like to use the powers of nerd.
Uh, summon all of the biodiversity in Florida.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Can I do that?
Hey, can I do that?
Yeah!
All right, you are, this is supposed to be,
cause that story is like, oh, the GM versus the players,
not like the GM and an audience versus the player,
but fine.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
Roll me a, um.
Bad life sign.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Yeah, go on, roll me a life sign.
Yay!
My one good skit, I'm kidding,
I have like a million good skits.
You get like a, plus a billion, that's, what is that, a 30?
That is a 30, yeah.
Right.
Okay.
I'm gonna give you this.
Give me two different Florida-based animals.
One's gotta be a gator, right?
One has to be.
Actually, you give me one, you give me one.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm gonna pick, um,
Barrett Basin.
Okay.
Reticulated Python.
Damn it!
You're so stupid.
Did you have Reticulated Python locked and loaded?
Literally, there was Basin in the guy I picked,
I drew two flamingos with a body that was like,
like, in front of me.
Yeah, yeah.
Dang.
All right, do we have another?
Man, it's easy. Flamingo!
Flamingo!
Flamingo?
I like flamingo.
Flamingo's very fun.
I went to the zoo the other day
and my favorite guy in the zoo is a flamingo.
You know what?
This Python and a flamingo kind of burst out of the water.
I'm gonna say, yeah, all right.
I'm gonna write down some stats for a Python and a flamingo.
Actually, both of the, no,
I don't want them both to join together like a Megazord.
That doesn't seem fun.
Um.
Oh, well, what if the snakes were the flamingos?
Oh.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Okay, right.
The flamingo jumps out and you're like, damn.
But then a Python jumps out, you're like,
oh, that's pretty good.
And then the Python jumps onto the snake.
Sorry, no, the Python jumps onto the flamingo
and is kind of wielding it like arms.
So I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you a,
all right, so you have, this Python has a plus 10 attack.
I'm gonna give it one D, I'm just gonna copy this.
I'm gonna do one D8 plus eight damage that it has.
So I have it written.
For a bite punch?
For like, yeah, bite punching, yeah.
For a bite punch.
And that goes, oh, fuck it.
It goes after you.
So yeah, so would you like,
what would you like this Python flamingo hybrid to do?
Well, is that my action or my bonus action?
All right, I'm not having you summon the powers of Florida
as a bonus action, actually.
I'm actually gonna have that be, that is an action.
You can move.
Yeah, I will move away from the host.
Okay, sick.
Beautiful, it is the Python hybrid flamingo turn.
Yes, the pythingo.
The pythingo, that's good, I like that, pythingo.
The articulated flamingo.
All right, yeah, what does it do?
So the pythingo goes up to the host
and is going to just like, boss's leaves, just, yeah.
Very nice.
The duke's seeing flamingos, they go like.
Yeah, absolutely.
Sick, so roll D20, we're gonna add plus 10 to that.
And you're trying to beat,
be honest, we're trying to be a KAC of 19.
10, it would not be like up to 17.
Damn, well, he's still kind of figuring it out
because it's like, doesn't know how great to work this.
It's got skinny little legs,
it's the longest snake in the world.
And the most powerful beast that's ever existed as well.
So it's like, it's a bit weird, it's not used to it yet.
Does it have a fly speed?
Yeah, it has a fly, no, no.
Flamingos can fly.
Yeah, it does actually, yeah.
Anyway. Okay.
Beautiful, love those eyes that I just got.
Okay, so that's that term, it is the game master.
The game master looks at the pythingo
and is like, I love that.
And then is gonna look at,
he's gonna look at Azam and the fact that you shot them.
And be like, I didn't love that though.
And is going to, they get their cane
and then they like cock it
and they fire a little shot off at it.
That is gonna be a 22 to hit.
Oh, we love that for me.
And then that is a delicious 12 damage.
So they fire off at you
and then they're gonna turn back to the audience.
Now, a miraculous display that you have all given me so far.
How would we like for you all to do an additional thing?
Would you like to do that?
Wonderful.
Then the audience is gonna get a second turn.
Audience, who wants up?
Bam, come up.
Roll this D6.
Five, that is, oh, you get a healing dart
that you can fire at any target for 2D6.
Roll that two more times for me, please, hun.
Five.
Four.
Right, that's nine.
You get to keep that, that's your loop.
Right, who would you like to shoot with this healing dart
that comes out of a viper's mouth?
A little dark, like, you see a viper?
They live in Florida.
Sure.
And then it opens its mouth.
It's from the Floridian Zoo.
Hey, gang, we are in like XXXXX time,
like so far in the future that Florida has anything.
I say it does.
What is your plan?
Hmm?
It's New Florida.
New Florida, that's it.
It's a whole planet called Florida.
Who are you?
I don't know.
Yeah, that's Cannon now.
So I'm running that in.
Who would you like this healing bullet to hit?
Hit anyone.
Azam has got hit.
The Game Master has also been hit.
I'm good.
Because Momo's there.
Yeah, Momo is there.
Momo's watching on a screen, yeah.
It did hit.
It hits and you can heal.
Oh, Azam got hit.
You got hit.
I did get hit.
You got hit.
Azam is our fan favorite.
We're the audience we're getting shot at.
Healing Dart heals you for that nine.
Sky babe.
Yes.
It's you.
Oh, what's up audience?
So I can either use this anti-gravity grenade
or I could punch him in the face.
Raise your hand for grenade.
I can, can I vote?
Raise your hand for, no.
Raise your hand for punch him in the face.
I'm gonna punch you in the face.
I don't think there's as many votes,
but that's truly what I wanna do in my hearts of hearts.
Hell yeah, run up to him.
Give him a swing.
That's a strength.
I mean, I imagine on your sheet you have unarmed strike.
That's a 19 to hit and 11 damage.
Hits, yeah.
11 damage?
Damn.
That's sky?
11 damage, 11.
I don't know what I'm telling you.
Sky is jacked, dude.
Why?
This guy got shot and it did like three more damage.
Damn.
The real guns were Sky's arms all along.
You run up to him, smack him as hard as possible.
The security camera head like,
like spins around on him.
I'm from the lower decks.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
It's the audience's turn.
I guess you'll have someone who wants,
yeah, do you wanna come up?
There you go.
There is your D6.
Cap in.
Feel free to roll it.
That is another one.
That is a poison dart.
Roll that again.
Four.
Delicious.
So the same, different tree opens up this.
Oh, sugar, that's yours, babe.
Tree opens up, poison dart.
Who do you wanna hit with this poison dart?
Ah.
For those of you listening.
We're having Eenie Meenie Minie mode.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Oh, Azam.
Ah.
Azam, you get a minus four on whatever your next roll is.
Speaking of babe, it is you.
Me?
Yeah.
You people have got to cooperate.
No.
I will find out where you live.
Okay.
I'm gonna shoot with my laser rifle.
Your brand new laser rifle, baby.
Yeah, and I think it's just gonna be a standard action.
What do we get, babe?
That's only a 14.
Doesn't hit.
What about this time?
Do I deserve a better roll?
Come on, raise your hands.
Oh my God, it was less exciting.
Okay, all right, all right, all right.
We're gonna do this two ways.
All right, if we want Azam to be able to get another shot,
we're gonna have a cheer,
and then I'm gonna have another cheer of not.
Okay, so cheer for yes.
Come on.
Cheer for no.
I'm so sorry, babe.
I'm so sorry.
The audience has voted.
It doesn't have to do with me.
You did what you could.
Yeah.
You do realize no matter what,
you're gonna die anyway, right?
Maybe not.
Maybe the audience doesn't want me to die.
Maybe I'm the new fan.
Audience, do you want him to die?
Yeah.
Is that the lesson we're trying to teach?
Yeah.
You've made your own enemy.
You all see him react
in like he's just taken psychic damage way
because you booed him.
Speaking of which,
can I use that to roll an intimidation check on him?
Yeah, yes, you can.
I'd love to hear it actually.
Damn, I suck at rolling
when it's not rolling for pointless things apparently.
25.
Delicious.
Yeah, he's intimidated.
He's like spooked.
He's like, maybe this is not good for me.
Just keep your eyes on me.
Keep shooting.
I'll solve all of them.
I, babe, it's you.
Yes, please.
That turn done?
I'm going to go up to this sad little man.
I'm going to hit him with my sword of junk.
Sick.
It's, I'm using this.
It's a second level junk sword.
Sure.
Of course.
So it's got a special property.
So it's going to be electricity.
That's very cocked, babe.
It doesn't have to be cocked if you don't want it to be cocked.
No, because it was so close to being at 20.
All right, that's good.
So that is 18, 25.
To hit?
Yeah, that hits.
Hit.
Wax him.
It's biffed.
Three slashing plus one electricity.
Damn.
Unfortunately, because when you hit him,
the slashing doesn't do like a whole bunch.
It does about what you expect,
but the electricity seems to hit him a little harder.
Him being like seemingly this like robotic entity.
The electricity kind of goes through him a little tougher
than you thought it would.
Great, and then.
And then Purple climbs up my shoulders and goes,
and spits electricity at his face.
I've given you a little boon.
Ah, dang it.
What is that?
No.
Nope.
Nope, okay.
That's a no.
Crazy that your dice say no as well.
All right, your turn.
That's it.
Your turn, babe.
For Viriak, Viriak is going to use the Apocalypse bow
to boost, who wants boosties?
Who wants boostin'?
Who wants upies?
Who does want upies?
Sky punched a guy so hard, it felt like a gunshot.
I think that that is huge.
I don't need upies.
Make Sky super powerful, please.
Yeah.
Viriak draws this bow back and then fires.
Shoot Sky with a.
Do I have to roll to attack?
No, I don't think so, no.
I don't care, yeah, no, don't, no, don't, no.
Okay, I don't wanna hurt Sky.
No, it's fine.
You're shooting like Ana from Overwatch.
It's that, yeah.
Yeah, it's just like a booster.
What does the booster do?
Well, it's part of my biohacker ability.
It gives a base of, wait, hold on.
Basic booster.
Okay, aids a creature in one manner or another.
The effect lasts for a number of rounds
equal to your key abilities for modifier
in a minimum one round.
Huge.
Unless it's state otherwise, you begin playing,
knowing this basic booster biohack when you use it.
Do you want AC, do you want plus two enhancement bonus
to skill checks or do you want 10 foot enhancement bonus
to your speed?
Do you wanna be faster, tougher
or do you wanna be a little better at skills?
I feel like tougher's the only one
that's gonna come into play here, right?
Sure.
I do miss being fast
but I don't think that's gonna matter here
so I guess I'll go tougher.
Yeah, you're in like Sky's rocky Valvo in arc.
Yeah, yeah.
He's really changing his current.
He's never seen rocky.
I'm sure he is.
How much does the AC go up by?
One.
One, perfect.
Okay, so Sky has plus one AC.
Love that.
Plus one AC?
Plus one AC, babe.
Wait, the AC, KAC.
It will be both.
KAC.
Oh, KAC specifically?
Or is it?
It just said AC.
Both then, it will be both.
The game master after getting,
after now being intimidated.
Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
It's the flamingo's turn.
It's the fucking flamingo's turn.
It's the fucking flamingo.
All right, roll for the.
I can't believe you forgot about the wildlife.
Go on, roll for your kaiju.
One thing Theory X learned today is that
it is okay to combine animals in unnatural ways.
I don't think Theory X needed to learn that.
Yeah, that's a big theory at core, actually.
Did you?
Oh, that's why we.
Let's go.
I hate this game.
All right, so that's.
Wait, did you draw the flamingo?
Yes, like watercolors.
Oh, incredible.
Damn, that's good shit.
Can we frame that?
Yeah.
The piping of it balls.
Yeah, like a Pokemon.
It will come into its next stage.
It is like a weirdly buff flamingo
now with four arm snakes.
Like Machamp, yeah.
It's Machamp, but the arms are snakes
and it's pink and flamingo.
It's just like Machamp.
So that is gonna be 2d8.
That's gonna be 2d8 and a d10 for the crit, please.
Okay, so 13 total.
13, delicious.
So that's 13 and it's also plus eight, so that's 21.
Woof, the guy gets absolutely walloped.
The piping goes.
Ah.
As flamingos do.
Can you do it again?
Ah.
Nice, very good.
I work at a zoo anyway.
As the snakes and the sharp serrated edges
of each of its little teeth dig into the light skin.
Yeah, yeah, it is like hard light kind of skin.
And little pixels.
Nice, very good, very, very good.
Flamingo, now that it's evolved,
instead of like one snake that looks like it's wrapped
around, it has like four heads.
Like the snake has like four heads
and then the big flamingo.
Beautiful, killer.
This is gonna be our first march.
Anything else that you want the flamingo to do?
Flex.
Sick, bam.
Cause these pythons are sick.
Okay, all right, all right.
The GM says.
Okay, maybe, how about this?
Why don't, instead of us just duking it out
here in the middle of Florida.
Why don't we let.
Wait, we're in Florida, are we on Earth?
New Florida.
This looks like Florida.
It's New Florida.
It's New Florida, it's a whole planet called Florida.
Okay.
Why don't we let.
Bam.
That hurt.
Ah.
Why don't we let the audience make some decisions here.
For the death.
Okay.
For the soul.
All right, okay, okay, okay.
So, they're gonna forego their turn
to give the audience two turns right now.
So, if somebody wants to put up their hand
and come up, bam, bam.
You wanna both come up?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, please do, please do, please do.
Here you go, take these.
This is gonna go on the random table.
So, we got a five, that's another healing.
Five, that's two healing.
Okay, so roll those.
Actually, you know what?
Both of you roll those again.
I don't like the same number.
It's like ordering something the same
as someone at a restaurant.
Six, and then a two.
Dope.
So, you get control.
A gravity ball hits two different targets,
making them float in zero gravity
until the start of the next round.
And you, a turret activates, and you roll this three times,
and you do 3d6 damage to anyone.
Who two targets would you like this gravity ball to hit?
I'm gonna pick one, but you intimidated me earlier.
No.
Oh, that's really good.
That's really good.
Thank you so much.
Wow, that's so great.
That's yours as well.
Like I said, they don't seem to like you anymore.
Very much anymore.
And I'm gonna pick the Game Master for one.
Okay, the Game Master slowly floats up the ground.
Who is the other person?
There he goes.
Here he gets it.
Perfect, thank you so much, there.
I appreciate you.
The crouching tiger hitting dragon's fight.
That's a six.
Our first roll is a six.
Two, that's eight.
And then we have three.
So that is 11 plus six, so that's 17.
Pick one target, you do 17 damage to them.
You can in fact hit the Game Master.
In an act of community, teamwork, socialist spirit.
The Game Master floats up off of the ground.
His little legs, like in cartoons.
They try to grab onto branches as they're flying up
and this turret raises out the ground
and then doing 17 damage to his 14 health.
The Game Master's head like explodes outward
in this shard of pixels and they hover, float,
kind of spinning around in this zero G space
as they have been defeated.
Bullet wounds riddle them and slowly,
Florida starts to dissipate around you.
Pixels start picking up and flying away
as this hard-like creation that they have made
starts to disappear.
Is there anything, before this connection
with the audience is severed,
is there anything that the four of you
would like to tell the audience?
Or are you just gonna judge them
as your connection is removed?
You've been a great crowd.
I think that we didn't get along at first,
but that was pretty okay.
No, it's like coming around to you.
It's all right.
Anything, Barry?
Support your local Xenoecological Wildlife facilities
if they are moral.
It's a mouthful, it's a mouthful.
Change starts at home and I believe in you.
Aw.
As the connection gets fuzzy,
all of your, do you have anything to say?
Oh shit.
Didn't know the entire time's done nothing.
Yeah, I forgot to put myself in initiative order.
I was looking at the birds.
I'm a bird watching guy.
They do have birds in Florida.
Yeah, I heard that somewhere.
And flamingos.
I was so obsessed with the flamingo python.
When you,
when you, oh, hey audience,
you're so spread far over,
all over the galaxy in fact.
I have never been to the Yoski home planet of Marat.
Has anyone here been?
Yeah?
Yeah, Marat dick in your mouth, fuck you.
And then the,
and then the screen goes static and fuzzy
and then there's a little picture of Piefingo,
Piefingo, hoeing onto a vine that says hang in there.
Aw.
The Patchwork crew, you all wake with a jolt
and as you, and everything is dark,
but you can hear the winds of NOS again
and as you sit up, you feel these like glasses on your head
that have been connected to just the
different like your temples.
As you were all correctly actually trapped in VR.
You, Scrap opens up the back of the Patchwork truck
and sees the door to New Mores close with this loud like,
and after a few beats, a single ship raises out
and then off as whoever put the VR headsets on you has,
gone away for next time.
All of you, after a weird dream like sleep,
I do awake quite well rested
and the stained city of New Mores,
as you look out at it, your phone buzzes
and all of you get a share of 250,000 credits
and that is where we're going to end our session today everyone.
Thank you all so much.
Thank you beautiful souls.
That is, that's us.
We have like 15 minutes left.
So if there's any other closing notes.
Well, for one, we're not done yet
because we have a giveaway.
Oh my God.
We have a giveaway.
Team?
I completely forgot about that.
Does his arm still have injuries?
Yeah.
Oh, like, oh, it was kind of like more of like a,
think of like, I don't know if you've,
know anything about like Sorda online,
but that thing is like, if you,
it was a, if you die in the game, you die in real life.
So it's like, you don't have any injuries.
It was kind of like a health bar that was going down.
If you would hit zero then it would have like zapped your head
and you would have turned off.
Okay.
Are we ready for the drum roll?
I shouldn't do that.
Oh my God.
Hi.
Congratulations.
We get a Starfinder core rule book.
But it's all right.
If anyone does want any Starfinder goodies,
we do actually have a code.
Yes, we do.
Which we don't expect you all to just remember if we say a code.
We will be putting it on our socials,
but it's really quite simple.
Starfinder NQA.
Yeah.
So any Starfinder product that you get on Paizo,
if you type in Starfinder NQA,
then it's like we help you.
10% off on April 5th.
Oh my God.
How delicious.
Look at that.
Thank you, heroes.
Thank you so, so much for joining us and being here.
And the next time we fly through the atomless sea,
we hope you are all there to fly with us.
Buzzing.
That's it, gang.
We've done the story.
We've done our first ever live show.
Oh, man.
What a joy.
Oh dear.
That was fun.
Did you hate it?
You had the word hate.
You fucking hate us.
You have to say legally if you did.
That was fun.
I can't believe you all booed Ike.
You're a monster.
Oh my God.
That was so funny.
I was remembering that for the rest of my life.
People are going to get into it, and then you guys got so into it.
And I was like, this is my fucking crack.
I love this shit.
I'm so into it.
I heard at some point very early on, like Florida is like Australia light.
I figured it was you.
Who else talks about Australia ever?
Who else do you know who talks like this?
The Australian lady.
Oh, dear.
Oh my gosh.
Thank you, team.
There's a couple things to remember.
There still is cards up front if you want to get your own void name.
Yeah, if you want to get your own void name, yes, there is cards.
I also have my business cards if you would like just like mine.
I also have also mine, which has a little game on it.
If anyone doesn't know us, we are the Adamless.
We are a podcast, an actual podcast.
We are a podcast.
I will say in our normal show are way darker than this darker way more serious is a very
fun little goofy episode.
However, this is going to go onto the feet this little show.
And if we ever do a live show again in the future, I thought it'd be fun to have it be
the game master again putting everyone through different trials and then on our
last show be like a fun like yeah thing anyways I don't know how to end this
thing we have we have 15 minutes 15 minutes till we're kicked out of the room
kicked out of the room yeah does anyone have any questions yeah that seems like
a lot of questions yes oh it's like it's because they were in virtual reality it
never left them it was just like they had representations of it in their mind
that was in this virtual reality setting that they had yeah what if we asked
questions to the players or the characters oh interesting so if anyone
has a question for a character yeah yeah yeah of course if anyone has any
questions then yes please if not we just vibe like a couple of bloody boys for the game
master what the fuck haha I is I I thought how fun would it be to have
audience participation in a thing and I was like everyone could they make their own characters and he's a shitty little guy yeah he was not good
he yeah it looks like he has like a normal body and then the head of a
security camera the little thing on his head yeah it's fun um actually I would
love a bloody picture with with the audience here please because it's a big
deal for me so everyone my patchwork crew get get over here and everyone is
I could take it is there is there like a chair I got a good there we go there you go ah what a beautiful crew yes lovely thank you I appreciate you so so much
do we have anything that we're doing over the next over the weekend I'm
running a game tomorrow in the atom at from 12 to 4 set in the atom this
universe which will be a level 5 star find a game which will be should be
pretty fun and there's that Dylan has a house I am also running some games I'm running a game called
guys and chairs which is a game I wrote but I do believe everything is full
except for Saturday at 1 p.m. so tomorrow 1 p.m. I think still has some
room and I'll be at a panel which still has a little bit of room at 7 o'clock I
believe on streaming RPGs so if you would like to attend that that could be
very helpful or interesting maybe possibly that's it we do free you as
well you're welcome to live your own life I appreciate you all so much I know
the ending things are very awkward because I'm like what the fuck do I do
now you're not allowed to leave we also have to wait for like the guy to come
up I appreciate you all so much thank you so so much for coming thank you so
much again for flying with us through the animal see cannot believe that this
is the first time we've all been together in person and I can't believe
how blessed we are to have gotten to put on this show in the live space with a
live audience incredible everyone who supports us on patreon has in some way
helped us to get here so I do want to make sure that we still shout out all of
you but very especially to Anna back's Daniel Neruda Don Hughes do fitness
and do Phineas Mary Miba for for for sunny 420 thank you all so much you have
absolutely been part of the reason that we were able to go to this con and do
this show and of course the next time we fly through the animal see I hope that
you are here to fly with us wish wish wish wish wish wish